June 24, 2025 • 41 mins
🎧 Episode Summary:
In this soulful and deeply inspiring episode of The Bold and Brilliant Podcast, host Tracie Root welcomes the radiant Carrie Asuncion Helms, intuitive coach, human design guide, and Queen of Your Destiny. Together, they explore how bold decisions, deep inner work, and conscious resilience lead to personal power and purpose-driven impact. Carrie shares her journey from burnout in corporate HR to coaching powerhouse, guiding women to reconnect with their bodies, rediscover their purpose, and reclaim their power.
This conversation is a treasure trove for anyone ready to shift from survival mode to thriving on purpose.
✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🔹 How burnout became the turning point for Carrie’s journey from corporate VP to spiritual and intuitive coach
🔹 The importance of somatic awareness and how to safely reconnect with your body after trauma
🔹 What it means to become the “Queen of Your Destiny”—and how you can start owning that title today
🔹 How to shift from victim to hero by reframing your story and claiming your inner truth
🔹 Why community, connection, and saying your dream out loud are essential to growth and healing
🛠️ Actionable Tips from Carrie Helms:
- Tune into your body with breath and intention—your nervous system holds wisdom.
- Don’t wait for clarity—take the next step. The “how” reveals itself in motion.
- Ask the universe for “this or something even better—surprise me.”
- Reframe past pain into power. Every challenge carries a gift.
- You don’t have to do it alone. Build your bold support squad.
🎤 Memorable Quote:
"I started this journey thinking there was something in me that needed to be fixed. But now I know—I’m not broken. I’m a diamond in the rough, just waiting to shine." – Carrie Helms
🔥 Bold Moment of the Episode:
When Carrie said “I’m not asking you—I’m telling you” to her husband as she boldly claimed her path back to purpose, pulling $5K from their 401k to invest in her future. THAT is Queen energy.
📱 Connect with Carrie Helms:
https://www.facebook.com/carrie.asuncion.helms/
https://www.instagram.com/purposeprosperitycarrie/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/carrie-asuncion/
🚀 Join the Bold and Brilliant Podcast Community:
Are you ready to surround yourself with women who are redefining what it means to lead and live boldly? Come join us inside The Gather Community and discover what’s possible when you stop playing small.
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xoxo
Your host,
Tracie Root
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tracie (01:55):
Terry, I am so excited.
Welcome to the Bold andBrilliant podcast.
I'm so thrilled that you'rehere.
Carrie (02:02):
It is so great to be here, Tracy.
You know, you and I have beenswirling around together for
quite some time, so to be hereand present and having a
impromptu kinda organicconversation is pretty yummy.
Tracie (02:14):
Yeah.
I love it so much.
You know, that's the wholereason why I wanted to do the
podcast was to get a chance tointerview even more people,
because I get to meet so manyamazing people.
You and I, we've been connectedfor a couple of years now.
I wanna say almost three years.
I think so, and you know.
A lot has gone on in your life,in my life, in the world, in
(02:38):
these last three years.
And so one of the things that Idefinitely wanna talk about is
how things have changed, kind offrom where we started to where
we are.
But let's start off by makingsure that our listeners get to
know you a little bit tounderstand who you are, maybe a
little bit of how you becamethis queen of your destiny that
(02:59):
you are today.
So give us a story.
Tell us about.
What, where you started?
A little bit of background sothat we can get the party
rolling.
Carrie (03:07):
Yeah.
So you know, the thought thatoccurs to me.
I'm gonna celebrate the fact Ijust turned 60.
Really?
Yeah.
And the fact that, you know, asI reflect on where I've been and
where I'm going, I think it'sthe resilience factor.
So I guess I'll just share withyou like what that journey's
(03:28):
been.
So I'd always, ever since I wasa young girl, I had wanted to be
a.
To study psychotherapy, but Ileft that to the side.
Everybody was saying, oh, it'stoo hard.
Why would you wanna go for anadvanced degree?
So I ended up getting into humanresources and rose to the ranks
of vp and it was a burnout.
(03:49):
I felt like I was not payingattention to my energy.
I was just doing, doing, doing.
And I was trying.
To get approval from some sourceoutside of myself, which now I
look back and I think that isnot the road to success.
Right.
Tracie (04:06):
Well, it's definitely not the road that clearly now we
know you're not meant for.
Right.
The idea of the corporate grind,I mean, this is how we were
raised to mm-hmm.
Over achieve.
And I say overachieve because Ido wanna put like judgment on
that because it's not healthyor, and it doesn't make us
(04:28):
happy.
But these high achieving, likeforced need for success in
whatever that external view ofwhat success looks like, it's so
prevalent in the corporateworld, which, I mean, if you're
a VP of hr, you are a seriouslycorporate girl.
I was,
Carrie (04:47):
And yet it's, I see how it was a stepping stone to where
I am today.
Yes.
Right.
That ability for me to say,okay, so how do we get out of
that grind?
How do we, let's say, put on theglasses that help us to see that
we're, we have somebody else'sperception going on.
And so now what I do is I tie inhuman design to help clients, me
(05:11):
and my clients to understandtheir energetic.
Blueprint.
And so I'm a manifester, so Iknow that I'm not supposed to be
in the trenches working 60 hoursa week any longer.
But I think I'll take thatstitch.
So as a human resources.
And then I finally, at age 34,went back with a nursing
toddler, went back to school formy advanced degree in
(05:33):
psychology.
Only to realize that that wasn'twhat I wanted to do.
I felt like that wasn't enough.
So then I went back to studiesto do energy medicine.
I found that I was an intuitive.
I didn't know that growing up.
I see things, I hear things.
I experienced things.
I thought everybody did this.
Yeah, love
Tracie (05:54):
those kinds of realizations where.
And everyone has them, whetherthey're intuitive or otherwise,
everyone has the things thatthey think is totally normal,
where it's really unique tothem.
Carrie (06:05):
Yeah.
Tracie (06:06):
And special.
Carrie (06:07):
Mm-hmm.
Tracie (06:07):
And so I wanted to ask you about, you know, going back,
thinking that you wanted to getthat advanced degree, and going
back to when you were a kidthinking you wanted to be a
psychotherapist, like what wasit about.
That word or that the perceptionof what that was as a kid that
you thought you wanted thatclearly now, you know otherwise.
Carrie (06:31):
Yeah, so I've al like you I'm really curious what
makes people tick.
Hmm.
And I had read a book calledPsycho Cybernetics as I was
laying on the beach in Ventura.
And, you know, I was in my teensprobably about 15 or 16 when my
friends were actually checkingout the ogling, the Boys.
I was reading this really prettyin depth book about how we
(06:51):
perceive ourself actuallyaffects, again, it's the glasses
that we wear.
It affects who we become.
And I thought, oh my God, Iwanna learn more about that.
And this is when coaching wasactually coming out.
So makes me sound like a littlebit like a dinosaur.
It was 19.
Let's see, you already said youjust turned 60,
Tracie (07:11):
so we already know how old you are.
It's no worries.
Carrie (07:13):
Yeah.
But just to know, coaching hasnot always been a profession.
So that was.
2005 when I graduated with mymaster's, and at that point,
coaching was kind of taking off.
And so I now know that what,these are what I call God's
breadcrumbs, right?
So I wanted, oh, and this wasinteresting too.
(07:34):
I just had this aha recently,ever since I was a little girl,
I wanted to help people who werestarving.
I don't know.
I maybe,'cause I felt superprivileged, you know, like we
always had food on the dinnertable, but when we were little,
it
Tracie (07:47):
was always like, oh, the people in Ethiopia.
Right.
It was always the Ethiopiareference that they were
starving.
Carrie (07:53):
Yeah.
And yet I realized, and maybeyou've read my blog recently,
where I realized that I'm st, Istill have that, that I wanna
help starving people, but it'snot starving from.
Lack of food, it's starving fromlack of meaning, lack of
connection, deep connection.
And so that's what I get anopportunity to do now that I'm
(08:16):
at this age where I know myselfbetter, and I know I understand
human dynamics better.
I understand group dynamics,individual.
I can tie all those piecestogether and help people to
learn to love themselves.
Hence the.
Queen of your destiny.
It's really owning.
It's seeing yourself differentlyso that you can say, okay, so if
(08:37):
I'm owning my queen, I'm gonnatake a breath first.
This is the resiliency piece.
I'm gonna take a breath.
Like I, I was rushing to gethere today, right?
So because I was driving, sotaking a breath, noticing what's
going on in my body, first ofall.
Oh, okay.
So that part of me needs alittle of attention.
(08:58):
And then coming back to being inthe present moment, that's
really the p point of power.
And I didn't know that growingup, but now I know it.
Tracie (09:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
So Psycho-Cybernetics reallystarts to talk about the mind
body connection and mm-hmm.
So many different aspects tounderstanding other people and
ourselves Of course.
And so, you know, one of thethings that, as you said.
Like tuning in and helpingpeople tune into what's going on
for them.
One of the things that I find isalways a ch is a challenge for a
(09:30):
lot of people is to actuallyhave that somatic understanding,
that understanding of wherethese feelings are in their
body.
Because so many people are sogo, go, go in their head so
often.
So if someone says, okay, wellthat's great, but I don't feel
it anyway.
How can you help them?
(09:50):
Get more in tune with what'sgoing on for themselves when
they're kind of disconnectedfrom themselves.
Carrie (09:57):
Yeah.
I actually found early on when Istarted doing the energy
medicine portion of it, therewere some people that couldn't
get in their body or wouldn'tget in their body.
Tracie (10:07):
Right.
They didn't know how, or theywere afraid to, so they were
stopping themselves or whatever.
What
Carrie (10:13):
I found was it was because often.
We are, we're traumatized insome physical form.
Maybe it was sexual trauma,physical trauma, whatever.
So they didn't feel that theirbody was a safe place to be in.
So we just start with simplethings like I'll say, okay, be
aware as when you take your nextbreath, your belly expanding,
(10:37):
taking that breath all the waydown to your pelvic bowl.
What are you noticing?
And some people might say, oh, Ifeel cold, or I feel like this
vibration.
And often it's just calming downthe noise or the static enough
to say, and creating a safespace for people to say, okay,
and so maybe they don'tunderstand what that means, like
(11:01):
tightness in the solar plexus,or tightness in their shoulders.
So I'll just say, put someattention there for a moment.
And then take a deep breath intoit.
And so actually they don't needto know what the emotion is as
much as they, it's just comingback your body is com always
asking for attention.
(11:21):
And when it gets the attention,it's like, oh, okay.
I can roll with that.
If it doesn't I know we've allexperienced this, right?
Like we can have this where Iexperience tension is in my
shoulders.
And I can feel it.
And then I was like, oh yeah,I'm just gonna get going with my
day.
And then I go, oh, maybe I givebetter, give some love and
(11:43):
attention here because if Idon't, it's gonna whack me over
the head.
Yeah, gimme some,
Tracie (11:49):
starts to start to get a headache or whatever it is
that's gonna pile up on you toforce you to give it attention.
Carrie (11:56):
Exactly.
So I'm learning to say baby, Igot you.
And if I don't have the time todo it right now, I'll make an
appointment with it.
Right.
Tracie (12:05):
I love
Carrie (12:05):
that.
I'll get you.
Well, one of the things I, Ithink I'm most how do we wanna
say, I've been thinking a lotabout, lately there's been a lot
of conversation about nervoussystem dysregulation.
And what I know in my ownexperience and my client's
experience is if we are in astate of chaos or trauma.
Or we're just way too busy toeven pay attention to what's
(12:27):
going on with our body.
Then how can we even thinkclearly?
Like I did a talk last week andI said, put your hands together
like blinders on either side ofyour head.
And then what's that like?
You can see a portion of theworld, but when you open your
hands so that you can see awider perspective, you're like,
(12:47):
well, that's what's possible.
When you calm your brain down,calm your nervous system down,
listen to your body enough tosay, Hey.
Thank you.
Thank you for carrying methrough this life.
And what is it you're needing?
Right?
Relaxation, water.
A breath.
It can be just something thatsimple.
Tracie (13:07):
Yeah.
Just a moment in time even.
Good.
So good.
So, okay.
So let's go back to, you weretalking about.
You know, coming out of theburnout of working in hr,
looking at energy medicine,learning about coaching, and I
totally resonate with whatyou're saying about 2006 ish for
(13:29):
coaching.
'cause I started in 2012 and Iknow that I was not early to the
party.
Right.
So,'cause I had, but I had neverexperienced that either.
So as you're understanding thesenew.
Avenues of helping people.
You decided to leave the burnoutsituation and move into a
(13:53):
different way of helping peoplethat maybe started to feel more
like what you were meant to dofrom a younger age.
So talk about that transitionand not only the good parts
about leaving corporatecraziness behind, but what were
the challenges that you facedthat you had to overcome based
on this bold decision?
Carrie (14:11):
Yeah, I can.
I'm gonna dial back to that time'cause what I can remember is I
sensed when I was in corporatethat this was not in alignment.
This was not my bigger vision.
Mm-hmm.
I just got sucked into it.
Basically straight out ofcollege.
I was working for one of thevery first laptop developers and
it was, it was sexy and it madelots of money, but it wasn't me.
(14:33):
It wasn't like an alignment withwhat my highest values were.
So really my body took me out.
You know how we're talking aboutpaying attention.
My body basically says you willno longer work, 60 to 80 hour
weeks.
And it put me on the couch inadrenal fatigue, and I wasn't
able to move.
So then I go, okay, that's awake up call.
'cause I, the odd thing was as Iwas working out two to three
(14:56):
hours a week, but I rememberthinking, I can't see it an easy
way through.
Like how do people do this?
How do they change careers?
Mm-hmm.
And I think they had Whatcolors?
Your parachute was out at thetime.
Yes.
But you can read any number ofbooks and those are kind of
helpful.
They kind of point in the rightdirection.
But really it takes the courageto say.
(15:19):
And the insight to say, what isit that I really, really desire?
And this is what I found out andI know that you believe this
too, Tracy, is that you justneed to know the what.
You don't need to know the howinitially, because the right
people, the right circumstancesshow up and you just need to
take that next step that's infront of you.
(15:40):
So for that one.
I had gone to a meditation, aheart math meditation, something
like I take my clients throughand I accessed my heart's wisdom
and I realized I had leftsomething undone.
And then I said, okay, I'm gonnago back to school.
Or no, I think, I think decidedI was gonna do a coaching
program to which my husband saidWe don't have the$5,000.
(16:01):
And I said, I am not asking you.
I am telling you I'm going to godo this.
I'll take out money out of our401k.
Well I'm gonna do whatever Ineed to.
We found a way'cause you find away when, when it's important
enough to you.
So we found the$5,000 to get meto go back to the co to to, to
learn coaching.
And it was just.
Taking the next step.
And then it was like, how do youget clients?
(16:23):
Because you can be a really goodtrained person Yes.
And have no idea how to run abusiness around it.
Yeah.
And there weren't a lot ofmentors now, you know,'cause
like I actually mentor it's likea score lookalike where in the
San Luis Obispo area where Ihelp business owners to write
their business plan to, to tomarket and so on.
(16:46):
And, but I don't think therewere people like that around or
I didn't know about thosepeople.
And so I just took this nextstep that was in front of me.
The training, figured it out,the money.
Figured out how to, how to get aclient, the first client and the
second client.
And, and yet you also know this'cause you've been doing it long
(17:08):
enough.
It's never static.
We're constantly in a state ofchange and it's a matter of
navigating it.
Or I, when I notice they,there's actually something in
mental health that it saysresiliency or healthy mental
state is being able to identify.
What the situation is early on.
So for example, the corporatething, I was like 12 years in
(17:31):
before I realized I couldn't dothis any longer.
I don't do, I don't wait thatlong, any longer.
But then went to coaching andI've done business coaching,
I've done purpose coaching, butI find that some, sometimes it's
those nudges.
And maybe you found this in yourlife too, like when my mom
passed, I thought I'm no longerdoing business coaching
exclusively.
(17:52):
Because that's not where myheart is.
My heart is about helping.
I'll call it heart-centered,mission-driven women to take
their life to the next level, tocreate their legacy, their
ripple in the world.
Because what I know, and Iactually said this at Katerina's
fem Empire just recently, Isaid, I am impacting 1 million
(18:16):
lives by helping them transformtheir ability to see
possibilities in their lives.
And I know that I can't do italone, that it's like I have
impact on this many people andthen they have impact on that
many people.
And so we're building this worldtogether, so we cr create what I
(18:37):
call a thriving planet asopposed to just a survival
planet.
Tracie (18:42):
So you're right, like the idea of being able to.
See the need for resilience andchange sooner rather than later
is a skill that we've grown forourselves over these years.
So important because I thinkwhen we're younger and you know,
(19:04):
we're.
We tend to be more in themoment, maybe at that time, and
we're excited and we're stillmoving forward and you work more
and you work harder and you aremaking changes and then you
realize, wait, what happened?
How did all this time go by?
And I wasn't paying attention tothe fact that I'm exhausted and
(19:24):
I am working 80 hours a week andit's not in alignment with what
I want for my life, for myfamily.
Like you said, you went back toschool with a.
Kid on your hip to, to see whatwas possible for the future.
And those moments of being ableto lean into a challenging
(19:46):
change, I think are the, thethings that, the courage that we
need to do that are the thingsthat keep us going into old age.
You know, getting old, as theysay, getting old age for
sissies.
And not to say that we're old,but every year we have to decide
to continue to live into ourvalues and into our mission and
(20:10):
into how we're supposed to behere in the world, and not just
allow it to kind of just existwithout purpose.
Carrie (20:19):
Yeah.
To just allow life to happen tous.
Yeah.
I think that's why purpose workis so important to me and
doesn't have to be some deep,dark secret in how you do this.
Right.
But when my mom passed, I beganto realize, wow, okay, so she
had a full life.
She, she died at 84 or almost84, and, the fact is, is that we
(20:43):
can get to the end of our lifeand say, what the hell was that
about?
Or we can say, that was one heckof a ride, right?
Yes.
I love that.
And, and so I've been playingwith this concept of not just
intentions or goals, but I saythis or something even better,
surprise me.
(21:04):
That's how I got my new house.
Tracie (21:06):
Yeah.
Carrie (21:07):
Because I said, okay, yeah, we made an offer on a
house.
We got outbid by$40,000 and Iwas bummed.
And then I said, okay, wait,wait, wait.
I can do the te, I can use thetechniques that I use with my
clients.
So I said, okay, this orsomething more.
Show me.
And within a week that houseshowed up.
Tracie (21:27):
I love that.
I love the idea of adding thatkind of show me or surprise me
at the end.
'cause we've all, we've heardthat, that phrase this or
something better because it's.
It's a great phrase to learn,especially for people who tend
to be relatively fixed in theirmindset and, and allow
disappointment to affect them.
(21:48):
You know, and we come across somany people who are in that
state, especially people who arenew to the coaching world,
because it's a kind of a tenetof coaching.
It's like, well, if this isn'tfor you, then something else
will be, and it's okay.
And we can just.
Find out what that is when itshows up.
But to welcome the surprise, Ithink is really powerful.
(22:14):
I love that because you know,resil, as we were saying, we
started talking aboutresilience.
Resilience is one of my absolutefavorite qualities that I claim.
Based on all the things thathave happened to me in my life
as well.
And so what you're talking aboutis helping everyone realize that
resilience is not just areactionary thing, but it will
(22:37):
help you create what you wantbecause you're asking to have to
be resilient every day.
Carrie (22:43):
Yeah.
And you know, I, I was, I lovewhat you just said.
'cause it, it brings to mind aconversation I was just having
with a potential client thispast week.
And she goes, I have succeededat every level, Carrie, she's in
her mid sixties, you know, moneyand relationships and, and she
goes, and I've lost every bit ofthat.
Hmm.
And I said, oh, that's reallyinteresting.
(23:04):
So we were talking for a littlebit longer and she's still in
the old story.
Not in the news story.
So I started to reframe like,what?
How can you learn from thoseexperiences what you did and
what was your hell?
No, I don't wanna do that again.
And it had something to do withbetrayal.
It's had something to do withtrusting herself.
(23:26):
So I said, my guess is now thatyou've had those experiences is
that you can notice when youare.
Betraying yourself first, sothat you're not just going along
with the flow, kind of like whatwe were talking about, but
you're actually advocating foryourself.
You have clear standards, clearboundaries, and you're able to
(23:47):
communicate those.
Again, that's the queen energy,right?
Being able, not being the nicegirl, oh, I don't wanna rock the
boat, and, and she goes, oh myGod.
She goes, Carrie, I totally getyou.
Tracie (24:00):
Yeah, that gives me chills just thinking about
someone realizing that they,and, and the challenge of
course, is that often peoplehear this over and over and
aren't ready to own it.
Right.
But when all of a sudden they'relike.
Oh, I've been doing that.
Not only that I, that I do that,but that I've been doing it for
(24:22):
so long that it has becomewhat's normal and I didn't
realize that it's what washolding me back.
Kind of going back to what wewere saying about this having a
superpower and thinking thatit's totally normal.
We all think that the way thatwe're living is how everyone
else is living, but when we seeopportunity for growth and
improvement and.
(24:43):
New adventure and newpossibilities.
You know, often we don't knowhow, how that's even possible
for people because isn'teveryone living the same way?
Carrie (24:54):
Mm-hmm.
Tracie (24:55):
So that's literally what I love about coaching and about
great.
Especially intuitive, like the,the way that you show up for
everyone.
I was gonna say for clients, butfor everyone in a networking
group and everything is so.
It's so supporting people torecognize that, that their dream
(25:17):
is possible because they're theonly ones holding them back.
Ugh.
So,
Carrie (25:24):
you know, I just love what you said'cause I'll just,
you know.
Say something for your readers.
Before I stood up to say I wouldbe willing to do the president
presidency role with PWNProfessional Women's Network of
Monterey, I said, I'm not gonnado this alone.
I'm doing this with the board,and I'm not willing to do
without you.
Tracy.
(25:46):
Well, and the only reason I saidyes was'cause of you.
So here we are.
And, and that's another tenant,isn't it?
Is that we don't do it alone.
Yeah.
When I was going through mydivorce, you talked about bold
moves.
You know, it's nothing that weever could anticipate.
It's not, it's not something youcall in and say, dang, that's
experience I wanna have.
(26:07):
Right, right.
So after a 27 year marriage, Ijust got really clear.
In fact, I remember saying to myspiritual counselor, I said,
isn't there a checklist forthis?
And she just laughed.
And then I laughed until I peedmy pants.
I go, there's not I am not thefirst person to like, literally,
I mean, it's a real
Tracie (26:26):
question.
I'm, I'm really asking you this.
I didn't mean funny.
Carrie (26:30):
And she goes, no, it's, it's, everybody has a little bit
of different experience.
And so, so then I was like,okay, show me.
But I could not, I don't think Icould have done it without
having my girlfriends having mycommunity.
And I think that's why you and Iare both like plugged into
community because we realize isthat we have others that reflect
back to us, our awesomeness.
(26:52):
We have others that hold us whenwe're struggling.
We, we can begin.
I think a lot of us women are.
Verbal processors, so when westart to say it out loud, then
it's like, dang, I guess I'monto something.
Tracie (27:06):
Right?
Right.
I always that we were talkingabout this just the other day in
our mastermind at at GatherCommunity where, you know, if
you have a thought, somethingthat you want this dream that
you're making, tell someonebecause as soon as you say it
out loud, it's what happened.
When I opened Gather, it waslike, Ooh, this is real.
It also happened when I closed.
(27:28):
When I had been thinking about,do I need to close?
Do I need to just accept thatthis is the end?
And I get choked up even justthinking about it because it was
hard.
But as soon as I told someoneelse, you know what?
I think I need to let the leasego for gather, all of a sudden
it didn't feel wrong and itnever felt wrong, but it didn't
feel hard anymore because now itwas like in the universe and
(27:54):
outside of my head.
It felt right because of thediscussion of talking with
another person about it.
And then of course, you knowwhen you talk to one person, but
then now it's five people andnow it's the planet maybe on
social media.
It just, it reinforces thatthis, that we're making the
(28:14):
decisions that are right forourselves and for the community
around us.
Whatever that community equates,whether that's.
Your family or your town or theplanet or whatever that, you
know, gotta say it out loud.
Carrie (28:29):
You, you, you just brought in something also that
I've been sharing with peopleas, as I help them to vision is
I say it has, I, your goal needsto be audacious enough that it
has good in it for other people.
Mm-hmm.
Love that.
The fact that you were lookingfor.
How does this not only serve me,but how does it serve my
community?
(28:49):
Whether it's the community thatwas paying for right membership
or whether your community atlarge, right?
We as leaders have a vision, a,a bigger vision that.
We don't know necessarily howall the little pieces are gonna
come together, but the rightpeople, the right circumstances,
(29:10):
the right ideas do come throughbecause it's the glasses that
we're wearing.
We're on the search forsomething that's in alignment
with that.
And that's really what you weredoing, I think, is you're like,
I still am gonna do a community.
It's just gonna look different.
Tracie (29:26):
Well, and you're absolutely correct.
And what it was was in thebeginning, and I think this
happens with a lot of people,especially early in business, is
you're so focused on how do Imake money and how do I do this
thing that I said I'm gonna do,but the, the desperation factor
of like, I have to make profitand what's my, what's my ROI,
(29:47):
what's this like narrowself-serving need the
desperation.
As opposed to, like you said,working more from a purpose
standpoint and like the reason.
I told people when I closedGather and opened the Gather
community, I said, I didn'trealize that what I was trying
to do was build community.
(30:08):
I thought I just made a room sothat people could,
Carrie (30:11):
Hmm.
Tracie (30:12):
And it was like, it was more of a definition factor,
right?
Because I wasn't calling itcommunity at that point.
I was calling it Gather, whichimplies community, but also is
like it's a space to gather foryou.
And I wasn't really puttingmyself in that community.
I was offering a service.
To other people.
And so when I realized that itwas all so much more intertwined
(30:37):
that I really really thought Iwas creating, when we had to
close the doors and, and open itup virtually, it got so much
bigger that I couldn't deny anylonger.
The whole point was to bringpeople together.
It wasn't to have a room torent, it was to connect people.
And so that's when everythingchanged and that's why we're
still here five years later isbecause the understanding.
(30:59):
Of the value to the bigger, tothe greater good, the greater
community finally made sense.
Carrie (31:06):
Beautiful.
I love to hear that.
You know,'cause I, I met youafter that.
Right?
Right.
So I've, I don't think I'veactually, well, you
Tracie (31:14):
wouldn't even recognize who I used to be.
Oh, wow.
I told Katerina not long ago, Isaid, oh yeah, I was a sarcastic
bitch.
Oh, and everyone goes, what?
What do you mean?
And I was like, dude, I wascorporate high, you know, highly
driven to be in charge to runthe show, lone Ranger.
(31:39):
You know, and I was very, I wasmuch more soft at home with my,
my first husband and havingkids, but especially before he
and I got married and startedour family, it was very much
like.
I'm working, I'm doing thething.
I'm in charge.
I'm smart.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, and, andsarcasm, especially in the, you
know, nineties, two thousands.
(32:01):
That's just kind of what humorwas.
That's Seinfeld, right?
And, and modern humor and modernkind of more open sensibilities
aren't like that anymore.
At least not for me.
Carrie (32:16):
Wow, you're, yeah, it's funny, you're divine defining
somebody that I don't see youas, that I don't experience you,
that I, I experience you asvery, very bright, very
creative.
You know, bold that, all of thatand, but bold in a way that
(32:37):
isn't abrasive in any way, buttruth telling, definitely truth
telling.
Yeah.
Well, that's the Sagittarius inme,
Tracie (32:44):
right?
I think, I think also that thatit's, it's part of being
comfortable in yourself andbeing willing to be open, you
know, so it was also a very kindof closed off.
I'm protective of my inner self,kind of at
Carrie (33:00):
that
Tracie (33:01):
point, it was all about the show.
Carrie (33:03):
That takes a lot of energy, doesn't it?
Like, oh my God.
I was just thinking, you know,trying, trying to look in a
certain way to to be a certain,I was just thinking, well, it's
perfection.
Right?
Tracie (33:15):
It's the perfectionist.
Carrie (33:17):
Yeah.
Well, I thrive
Tracie (33:19):
that we all had back then that we're like, gonna be
great.
I'm gonna be perfect andeveryone's gonna admire me for
what I can do.
And like, it's just so ick now.
I just, Hmm huh And it allowsme.
To see it in other people insuch a way that it's, I have a
(33:39):
more understanding view of itbecause it's part of, since it
was part of my journey, it'sprobably just part of theirs
too, and we'll figure it outtogether.
Carrie (33:52):
You know, the thought that occurs to me is what
shifted.
But you know, we have someforerunners like Brene Brown.
Absolutely.
And a guy that I studied withCharmaine, she, which is
positive intelligence, sothere's certainly a.
What do we wanna call it?
A push for authenticity.
Yes.
For that ability for us to beself-expressed, to realize, to
(34:14):
really ask ourselves who'sdriving the show?
Yep.
You know, is it our judge?
Is it exterior society?
Yeah.
So I think there's, I think themainstream is that people are
becoming much more conscious andaware.
Yeah.
About their own self.
Or maybe it's just'cause we'regetting older.
I don't know.
Tracie (34:34):
No, I, I totally agree.
I think it's all of the above.
I think we are getting older andtherefore we understand
ourselves better and thereforeeach other better.
But I do think that the worldhas changed.
Having two teenagers, my Gen Zkiddos, you know, I see how
things are different for peoplewho are still in their teens.
Mm-hmm.
And how much more self-awarethey are than gosh I ever was
(34:55):
when I was 17.
Carrie (34:57):
For sure.
Yeah, that's so true.
I think about my 20-year-old andmy 25-year-old.
Mm-hmm.
And like, yeah, my younger one,he just always very.
Self-aware or self aware.
Mm-hmm.
Reflective, you know, and he'dcall me on my stuff too.
He'd say, mama does nuts.
Not congruent.
(35:17):
Yeah.
Tracie (35:17):
You're not lining up today.
Yeah.
I mean, the day that my oldestcame to me and said, you know, I
got some stuff I need to workthrough.
I think I should talk tosomeone.
I was just like.
Okay, that's amazing.
And absolutely let me help you,you know, get that put together
and, you know, and she's doingamazing.
(35:39):
And it didn't only serve her tosay that, but because obviously,
you know, she got the supportthat she needed outside of
parents.
Carrie (35:52):
Yes.
Tracie (35:52):
But but it, it.
It's that whole, like everyoneneeds therapy, but you know, as
Gen Xers we say it kind of as ajoke, but the Gen Zers are like,
no, it's true.
Everyone does need therapybecause, you know, it just means
you have someone to talk to andbe honest with and work through
(36:14):
your feelings or whatever.
Like it's, yeah, it's prettyamazing.
They're, this generation iscrazy.
Cool.
Carrie (36:22):
Yeah.
And maybe because of the COVIDsituation a few years ago
they're, they had a lot of timein their hands
Tracie (36:28):
too, you know?
I'm sure it's definitely a bigpart of it as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it.
Well, anyway, okay.
I wanna come back to you becauseour time is almost up, but you
know, Carrie, I've seen overthese last three years that
we've been connected this shiftthat you have done from.
Business coaching to purposecoaching.
(36:49):
You were talking a lot aboutmoney then you were talking
about purpose.
Now you're talking about beingthe queen of your destiny, which
of course you get to decide whatyour destiny is, and that could
be lots of money and purpose.
But you know, what do you seelike from this point forward?
Like what is your, what drivesyou day to day to keep going
(37:11):
with your current?
Iteration and how you're helpingyour clients and potential
clients.
Carrie (37:17):
Yeah, so maybe it's just the reflection of the clients
that I get an opportunity towork with and to see them grow.
It's like so awesome.
I'm just thinking about oneclient in particular who came to
me it, and she goes, I neverrealized I had a choice.
She's about my age and I went,oh yeah girl, you got a choice.
(37:41):
You in your relationship andwhat you're doing and you always
have, but now that you'vefigured it out, now what's next?
So I see is an expansion.
So talking to larger groups,doing more retreats.
I kind of put those on hold fora little while as I was caring
for my mom and really.
Taking a deeper dive and sostaying along the trajectory.
(38:03):
I've also been asked to writedown the process that I use in a
book so that people can actuallyhave easier access to it.
And then I.
So I'm considering doing that,but that means I'd have to pause
long enough to write the darnbook.
But when I wrote, when an, whenI wrote that a chapter in the
anthology, women Living in anAlignment, I began to realize
(38:24):
that part was also my legacy, iswhat was the process that I went
through as I went through asense of betrayal.
And rather than seeing myself asa victim, that's another thing
we haven't talked about today,rather than seeing myself as a
victim, I saw myself as the heroone.
The ability to overcome thedifficulties and learn from the
(38:44):
difficulties.
And so that's what I want allwomen to have, is to realize
stuff happens that we have nocontrol of, and how do we
transform that so that it's oursuperpower, that it creates a
deeper level of compassion forourselves, for others, and
really a deeper realignment withwho we be.
Tracie (39:07):
Yeah.
And you know that compassion,since there's others a part of
that, it is that expansion outinto the community, into the
planet.
And I keep saying, this is howwe're changing the world.
People like that.
Compassion is the key to otherpeople feeling safe enough to be
themselves mm-hmm.
(39:27):
And honest with what they careabout so that caring expands and
we all, you know, have greatercaring and expansion in the
world.
Carrie (39:36):
The last bit, I just have to say'cause it, it's been
a key component of what I'vebegan to realize is I think I
started this whole journeythinking there was something in
me that needed to be fixed.
Hmm.
And then I began to realize, no,just a diamond in the rough
looks like some rock that youjust walk past.
Once it's polished, once thedirt's taken off and it's
(39:58):
defined maybe a little bit, youknow, the facets are cus cut
into it.
It shines, right?
So we're the same.
There's nothing wrong with usand yet there's some shining
that's going on.
Some getting, clearing some ofthe pre-programming that's taken
us to think that we were, thatwhen really we are like this God
(40:20):
spark that wants nothing morethan to be fully self-expressed.
And shine, shine, shine.
Tracie (40:27):
I love it.
Well, Carrie, I am so glad thatwe got to spend all this time
together.
Our time together tends to be solike quick'cause we're always in
the middle of taking care of ourcommunity.
But you know, this was probablythe longest conversation we've
had outside of a vehicle in along time.
It's so
Carrie (40:45):
true.
And what a delight.
Thank you so much for the workthat you do, Tracy.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
Ignite lives with a greatersense of, I call it juicy
aliveness.
Yes,
Tracie (40:55):
absolutely.
I'm thrilled that we got tospend this time together.
Thank you for being on thepodcast.
We'll make sure that we shareall of your stuff in the notes
and.
If you've gotten to watch theend of this podcast or listen,
make sure you take a look atwhat's op, what opportunities
are in the notes for you toconnect further with Carrie.
Carrie, my friend.
Thank you so much.
Carrie (41:16):
Thank you my friend.
Blessings.
Terry, I am so excited.
Welcome to the Bold andBrilliant podcast.
I'm so thrilled that you'rehere.
Carrie (02:02):
It is so great to be here, Tracy.
You know, you and I have beenswirling around together for
quite some time, so to be hereand present and having a
impromptu kinda organicconversation is pretty yummy.
Tracie (02:14):
Yeah.
I love it so much.
You know, that's the wholereason why I wanted to do the
podcast was to get a chance tointerview even more people,
because I get to meet so manyamazing people.
You and I, we've been connectedfor a couple of years now.
I wanna say almost three years.
I think so, and you know.
A lot has gone on in your life,in my life, in the world, in
(02:38):
these last three years.
And so one of the things that Idefinitely wanna talk about is
how things have changed, kind offrom where we started to where
we are.
But let's start off by makingsure that our listeners get to
know you a little bit tounderstand who you are, maybe a
little bit of how you becamethis queen of your destiny that
(02:59):
you are today.
So give us a story.
Tell us about.
What, where you started?
A little bit of background sothat we can get the party
rolling.
Carrie (03:07):
Yeah.
So you know, the thought thatoccurs to me.
I'm gonna celebrate the fact Ijust turned 60.
Really?
Yeah.
And the fact that, you know, asI reflect on where I've been and
where I'm going, I think it'sthe resilience factor.
So I guess I'll just share withyou like what that journey's
(03:28):
been.
So I'd always, ever since I wasa young girl, I had wanted to be
a.
To study psychotherapy, but Ileft that to the side.
Everybody was saying, oh, it'stoo hard.
Why would you wanna go for anadvanced degree?
So I ended up getting into humanresources and rose to the ranks
of vp and it was a burnout.
(03:49):
I felt like I was not payingattention to my energy.
I was just doing, doing, doing.
And I was trying.
To get approval from some sourceoutside of myself, which now I
look back and I think that isnot the road to success.
Right.
Tracie (04:06):
Well, it's definitely not the road that clearly now we
know you're not meant for.
Right.
The idea of the corporate grind,I mean, this is how we were
raised to mm-hmm.
Over achieve.
And I say overachieve because Ido wanna put like judgment on
that because it's not healthyor, and it doesn't make us
(04:28):
happy.
But these high achieving, likeforced need for success in
whatever that external view ofwhat success looks like, it's so
prevalent in the corporateworld, which, I mean, if you're
a VP of hr, you are a seriouslycorporate girl.
I was,
Carrie (04:47):
And yet it's, I see how it was a stepping stone to where
I am today.
Yes.
Right.
That ability for me to say,okay, so how do we get out of
that grind?
How do we, let's say, put on theglasses that help us to see that
we're, we have somebody else'sperception going on.
And so now what I do is I tie inhuman design to help clients, me
(05:11):
and my clients to understandtheir energetic.
Blueprint.
And so I'm a manifester, so Iknow that I'm not supposed to be
in the trenches working 60 hoursa week any longer.
But I think I'll take thatstitch.
So as a human resources.
And then I finally, at age 34,went back with a nursing
toddler, went back to school formy advanced degree in
(05:33):
psychology.
Only to realize that that wasn'twhat I wanted to do.
I felt like that wasn't enough.
So then I went back to studiesto do energy medicine.
I found that I was an intuitive.
I didn't know that growing up.
I see things, I hear things.
I experienced things.
I thought everybody did this.
Yeah, love
Tracie (05:54):
those kinds of realizations where.
And everyone has them, whetherthey're intuitive or otherwise,
everyone has the things thatthey think is totally normal,
where it's really unique tothem.
Carrie (06:05):
Yeah.
Tracie (06:06):
And special.
Carrie (06:07):
Mm-hmm.
Tracie (06:07):
And so I wanted to ask you about, you know, going back,
thinking that you wanted to getthat advanced degree, and going
back to when you were a kidthinking you wanted to be a
psychotherapist, like what wasit about.
That word or that the perceptionof what that was as a kid that
you thought you wanted thatclearly now, you know otherwise.
Carrie (06:31):
Yeah, so I've al like you I'm really curious what
makes people tick.
Hmm.
And I had read a book calledPsycho Cybernetics as I was
laying on the beach in Ventura.
And, you know, I was in my teensprobably about 15 or 16 when my
friends were actually checkingout the ogling, the Boys.
I was reading this really prettyin depth book about how we
(06:51):
perceive ourself actuallyaffects, again, it's the glasses
that we wear.
It affects who we become.
And I thought, oh my God, Iwanna learn more about that.
And this is when coaching wasactually coming out.
So makes me sound like a littlebit like a dinosaur.
It was 19.
Let's see, you already said youjust turned 60,
Tracie (07:11):
so we already know how old you are.
It's no worries.
Carrie (07:13):
Yeah.
But just to know, coaching hasnot always been a profession.
So that was.
2005 when I graduated with mymaster's, and at that point,
coaching was kind of taking off.
And so I now know that what,these are what I call God's
breadcrumbs, right?
So I wanted, oh, and this wasinteresting too.
(07:34):
I just had this aha recently,ever since I was a little girl,
I wanted to help people who werestarving.
I don't know.
I maybe,'cause I felt superprivileged, you know, like we
always had food on the dinnertable, but when we were little,
it
Tracie (07:47):
was always like, oh, the people in Ethiopia.
Right.
It was always the Ethiopiareference that they were
starving.
Carrie (07:53):
Yeah.
And yet I realized, and maybeyou've read my blog recently,
where I realized that I'm st, Istill have that, that I wanna
help starving people, but it'snot starving from.
Lack of food, it's starving fromlack of meaning, lack of
connection, deep connection.
And so that's what I get anopportunity to do now that I'm
(08:16):
at this age where I know myselfbetter, and I know I understand
human dynamics better.
I understand group dynamics,individual.
I can tie all those piecestogether and help people to
learn to love themselves.
Hence the.
Queen of your destiny.
It's really owning.
It's seeing yourself differentlyso that you can say, okay, so if
(08:37):
I'm owning my queen, I'm gonnatake a breath first.
This is the resiliency piece.
I'm gonna take a breath.
Like I, I was rushing to gethere today, right?
So because I was driving, sotaking a breath, noticing what's
going on in my body, first ofall.
Oh, okay.
So that part of me needs alittle of attention.
(08:58):
And then coming back to being inthe present moment, that's
really the p point of power.
And I didn't know that growingup, but now I know it.
Tracie (09:08):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
So Psycho-Cybernetics reallystarts to talk about the mind
body connection and mm-hmm.
So many different aspects tounderstanding other people and
ourselves Of course.
And so, you know, one of thethings that, as you said.
Like tuning in and helpingpeople tune into what's going on
for them.
One of the things that I find isalways a ch is a challenge for a
(09:30):
lot of people is to actuallyhave that somatic understanding,
that understanding of wherethese feelings are in their
body.
Because so many people are sogo, go, go in their head so
often.
So if someone says, okay, wellthat's great, but I don't feel
it anyway.
How can you help them?
(09:50):
Get more in tune with what'sgoing on for themselves when
they're kind of disconnectedfrom themselves.
Carrie (09:57):
Yeah.
I actually found early on when Istarted doing the energy
medicine portion of it, therewere some people that couldn't
get in their body or wouldn'tget in their body.
Tracie (10:07):
Right.
They didn't know how, or theywere afraid to, so they were
stopping themselves or whatever.
What
Carrie (10:13):
I found was it was because often.
We are, we're traumatized insome physical form.
Maybe it was sexual trauma,physical trauma, whatever.
So they didn't feel that theirbody was a safe place to be in.
So we just start with simplethings like I'll say, okay, be
aware as when you take your nextbreath, your belly expanding,
(10:37):
taking that breath all the waydown to your pelvic bowl.
What are you noticing?
And some people might say, oh, Ifeel cold, or I feel like this
vibration.
And often it's just calming downthe noise or the static enough
to say, and creating a safespace for people to say, okay,
and so maybe they don'tunderstand what that means, like
(11:01):
tightness in the solar plexus,or tightness in their shoulders.
So I'll just say, put someattention there for a moment.
And then take a deep breath intoit.
And so actually they don't needto know what the emotion is as
much as they, it's just comingback your body is com always
asking for attention.
(11:21):
And when it gets the attention,it's like, oh, okay.
I can roll with that.
If it doesn't I know we've allexperienced this, right?
Like we can have this where Iexperience tension is in my
shoulders.
And I can feel it.
And then I was like, oh yeah,I'm just gonna get going with my
day.
And then I go, oh, maybe I givebetter, give some love and
(11:43):
attention here because if Idon't, it's gonna whack me over
the head.
Yeah, gimme some,
Tracie (11:49):
starts to start to get a headache or whatever it is
that's gonna pile up on you toforce you to give it attention.
Carrie (11:56):
Exactly.
So I'm learning to say baby, Igot you.
And if I don't have the time todo it right now, I'll make an
appointment with it.
Right.
Tracie (12:05):
I love
Carrie (12:05):
that.
I'll get you.
Well, one of the things I, Ithink I'm most how do we wanna
say, I've been thinking a lotabout, lately there's been a lot
of conversation about nervoussystem dysregulation.
And what I know in my ownexperience and my client's
experience is if we are in astate of chaos or trauma.
Or we're just way too busy toeven pay attention to what's
(12:27):
going on with our body.
Then how can we even thinkclearly?
Like I did a talk last week andI said, put your hands together
like blinders on either side ofyour head.
And then what's that like?
You can see a portion of theworld, but when you open your
hands so that you can see awider perspective, you're like,
(12:47):
well, that's what's possible.
When you calm your brain down,calm your nervous system down,
listen to your body enough tosay, Hey.
Thank you.
Thank you for carrying methrough this life.
And what is it you're needing?
Right?
Relaxation, water.
A breath.
It can be just something thatsimple.
Tracie (13:07):
Yeah.
Just a moment in time even.
Good.
So good.
So, okay.
So let's go back to, you weretalking about.
You know, coming out of theburnout of working in hr,
looking at energy medicine,learning about coaching, and I
totally resonate with whatyou're saying about 2006 ish for
(13:29):
coaching.
'cause I started in 2012 and Iknow that I was not early to the
party.
Right.
So,'cause I had, but I had neverexperienced that either.
So as you're understanding thesenew.
Avenues of helping people.
You decided to leave the burnoutsituation and move into a
(13:53):
different way of helping peoplethat maybe started to feel more
like what you were meant to dofrom a younger age.
So talk about that transitionand not only the good parts
about leaving corporatecraziness behind, but what were
the challenges that you facedthat you had to overcome based
on this bold decision?
Carrie (14:11):
Yeah, I can.
I'm gonna dial back to that time'cause what I can remember is I
sensed when I was in corporatethat this was not in alignment.
This was not my bigger vision.
Mm-hmm.
I just got sucked into it.
Basically straight out ofcollege.
I was working for one of thevery first laptop developers and
it was, it was sexy and it madelots of money, but it wasn't me.
(14:33):
It wasn't like an alignment withwhat my highest values were.
So really my body took me out.
You know how we're talking aboutpaying attention.
My body basically says you willno longer work, 60 to 80 hour
weeks.
And it put me on the couch inadrenal fatigue, and I wasn't
able to move.
So then I go, okay, that's awake up call.
'cause I, the odd thing was as Iwas working out two to three
(14:56):
hours a week, but I rememberthinking, I can't see it an easy
way through.
Like how do people do this?
How do they change careers?
Mm-hmm.
And I think they had Whatcolors?
Your parachute was out at thetime.
Yes.
But you can read any number ofbooks and those are kind of
helpful.
They kind of point in the rightdirection.
But really it takes the courageto say.
(15:19):
And the insight to say, what isit that I really, really desire?
And this is what I found out andI know that you believe this
too, Tracy, is that you justneed to know the what.
You don't need to know the howinitially, because the right
people, the right circumstancesshow up and you just need to
take that next step that's infront of you.
(15:40):
So for that one.
I had gone to a meditation, aheart math meditation, something
like I take my clients throughand I accessed my heart's wisdom
and I realized I had leftsomething undone.
And then I said, okay, I'm gonnago back to school.
Or no, I think, I think decidedI was gonna do a coaching
program to which my husband saidWe don't have the$5,000.
(16:01):
And I said, I am not asking you.
I am telling you I'm going to godo this.
I'll take out money out of our401k.
Well I'm gonna do whatever Ineed to.
We found a way'cause you find away when, when it's important
enough to you.
So we found the$5,000 to get meto go back to the co to to, to
learn coaching.
And it was just.
Taking the next step.
And then it was like, how do youget clients?
(16:23):
Because you can be a really goodtrained person Yes.
And have no idea how to run abusiness around it.
Yeah.
And there weren't a lot ofmentors now, you know,'cause
like I actually mentor it's likea score lookalike where in the
San Luis Obispo area where Ihelp business owners to write
their business plan to, to tomarket and so on.
(16:46):
And, but I don't think therewere people like that around or
I didn't know about thosepeople.
And so I just took this nextstep that was in front of me.
The training, figured it out,the money.
Figured out how to, how to get aclient, the first client and the
second client.
And, and yet you also know this'cause you've been doing it long
(17:08):
enough.
It's never static.
We're constantly in a state ofchange and it's a matter of
navigating it.
Or I, when I notice they,there's actually something in
mental health that it saysresiliency or healthy mental
state is being able to identify.
What the situation is early on.
So for example, the corporatething, I was like 12 years in
(17:31):
before I realized I couldn't dothis any longer.
I don't do, I don't wait thatlong, any longer.
But then went to coaching andI've done business coaching,
I've done purpose coaching, butI find that some, sometimes it's
those nudges.
And maybe you found this in yourlife too, like when my mom
passed, I thought I'm no longerdoing business coaching
exclusively.
(17:52):
Because that's not where myheart is.
My heart is about helping.
I'll call it heart-centered,mission-driven women to take
their life to the next level, tocreate their legacy, their
ripple in the world.
Because what I know, and Iactually said this at Katerina's
fem Empire just recently, Isaid, I am impacting 1 million
(18:16):
lives by helping them transformtheir ability to see
possibilities in their lives.
And I know that I can't do italone, that it's like I have
impact on this many people andthen they have impact on that
many people.
And so we're building this worldtogether, so we cr create what I
(18:37):
call a thriving planet asopposed to just a survival
planet.
Tracie (18:42):
So you're right, like the idea of being able to.
See the need for resilience andchange sooner rather than later
is a skill that we've grown forourselves over these years.
So important because I thinkwhen we're younger and you know,
(19:04):
we're.
We tend to be more in themoment, maybe at that time, and
we're excited and we're stillmoving forward and you work more
and you work harder and you aremaking changes and then you
realize, wait, what happened?
How did all this time go by?
And I wasn't paying attention tothe fact that I'm exhausted and
(19:24):
I am working 80 hours a week andit's not in alignment with what
I want for my life, for myfamily.
Like you said, you went back toschool with a.
Kid on your hip to, to see whatwas possible for the future.
And those moments of being ableto lean into a challenging
(19:46):
change, I think are the, thethings that, the courage that we
need to do that are the thingsthat keep us going into old age.
You know, getting old, as theysay, getting old age for
sissies.
And not to say that we're old,but every year we have to decide
to continue to live into ourvalues and into our mission and
(20:10):
into how we're supposed to behere in the world, and not just
allow it to kind of just existwithout purpose.
Carrie (20:19):
Yeah.
To just allow life to happen tous.
Yeah.
I think that's why purpose workis so important to me and
doesn't have to be some deep,dark secret in how you do this.
Right.
But when my mom passed, I beganto realize, wow, okay, so she
had a full life.
She, she died at 84 or almost84, and, the fact is, is that we
(20:43):
can get to the end of our lifeand say, what the hell was that
about?
Or we can say, that was one heckof a ride, right?
Yes.
I love that.
And, and so I've been playingwith this concept of not just
intentions or goals, but I saythis or something even better,
surprise me.
(21:04):
That's how I got my new house.
Tracie (21:06):
Yeah.
Carrie (21:07):
Because I said, okay, yeah, we made an offer on a
house.
We got outbid by$40,000 and Iwas bummed.
And then I said, okay, wait,wait, wait.
I can do the te, I can use thetechniques that I use with my
clients.
So I said, okay, this orsomething more.
Show me.
And within a week that houseshowed up.
Tracie (21:27):
I love that.
I love the idea of adding thatkind of show me or surprise me
at the end.
'cause we've all, we've heardthat, that phrase this or
something better because it's.
It's a great phrase to learn,especially for people who tend
to be relatively fixed in theirmindset and, and allow
disappointment to affect them.
(21:48):
You know, and we come across somany people who are in that
state, especially people who arenew to the coaching world,
because it's a kind of a tenetof coaching.
It's like, well, if this isn'tfor you, then something else
will be, and it's okay.
And we can just.
Find out what that is when itshows up.
But to welcome the surprise, Ithink is really powerful.
(22:14):
I love that because you know,resil, as we were saying, we
started talking aboutresilience.
Resilience is one of my absolutefavorite qualities that I claim.
Based on all the things thathave happened to me in my life
as well.
And so what you're talking aboutis helping everyone realize that
resilience is not just areactionary thing, but it will
(22:37):
help you create what you wantbecause you're asking to have to
be resilient every day.
Carrie (22:43):
Yeah.
And you know, I, I was, I lovewhat you just said.
'cause it, it brings to mind aconversation I was just having
with a potential client thispast week.
And she goes, I have succeededat every level, Carrie, she's in
her mid sixties, you know, moneyand relationships and, and she
goes, and I've lost every bit ofthat.
Hmm.
And I said, oh, that's reallyinteresting.
(23:04):
So we were talking for a littlebit longer and she's still in
the old story.
Not in the news story.
So I started to reframe like,what?
How can you learn from thoseexperiences what you did and
what was your hell?
No, I don't wanna do that again.
And it had something to do withbetrayal.
It's had something to do withtrusting herself.
(23:26):
So I said, my guess is now thatyou've had those experiences is
that you can notice when youare.
Betraying yourself first, sothat you're not just going along
with the flow, kind of like whatwe were talking about, but
you're actually advocating foryourself.
You have clear standards, clearboundaries, and you're able to
(23:47):
communicate those.
Again, that's the queen energy,right?
Being able, not being the nicegirl, oh, I don't wanna rock the
boat, and, and she goes, oh myGod.
She goes, Carrie, I totally getyou.
Tracie (24:00):
Yeah, that gives me chills just thinking about
someone realizing that they,and, and the challenge of
course, is that often peoplehear this over and over and
aren't ready to own it.
Right.
But when all of a sudden they'relike.
Oh, I've been doing that.
Not only that I, that I do that,but that I've been doing it for
(24:22):
so long that it has becomewhat's normal and I didn't
realize that it's what washolding me back.
Kind of going back to what wewere saying about this having a
superpower and thinking thatit's totally normal.
We all think that the way thatwe're living is how everyone
else is living, but when we seeopportunity for growth and
improvement and.
(24:43):
New adventure and newpossibilities.
You know, often we don't knowhow, how that's even possible
for people because isn'teveryone living the same way?
Carrie (24:54):
Mm-hmm.
Tracie (24:55):
So that's literally what I love about coaching and about
great.
Especially intuitive, like the,the way that you show up for
everyone.
I was gonna say for clients, butfor everyone in a networking
group and everything is so.
It's so supporting people torecognize that, that their dream
(25:17):
is possible because they're theonly ones holding them back.
Ugh.
So,
Carrie (25:24):
you know, I just love what you said'cause I'll just,
you know.
Say something for your readers.
Before I stood up to say I wouldbe willing to do the president
presidency role with PWNProfessional Women's Network of
Monterey, I said, I'm not gonnado this alone.
I'm doing this with the board,and I'm not willing to do
without you.
Tracy.
(25:46):
Well, and the only reason I saidyes was'cause of you.
So here we are.
And, and that's another tenant,isn't it?
Is that we don't do it alone.
Yeah.
When I was going through mydivorce, you talked about bold
moves.
You know, it's nothing that weever could anticipate.
It's not, it's not something youcall in and say, dang, that's
experience I wanna have.
(26:07):
Right, right.
So after a 27 year marriage, Ijust got really clear.
In fact, I remember saying to myspiritual counselor, I said,
isn't there a checklist forthis?
And she just laughed.
And then I laughed until I peedmy pants.
I go, there's not I am not thefirst person to like, literally,
I mean, it's a real
Tracie (26:26):
question.
I'm, I'm really asking you this.
I didn't mean funny.
Carrie (26:30):
And she goes, no, it's, it's, everybody has a little bit
of different experience.
And so, so then I was like,okay, show me.
But I could not, I don't think Icould have done it without
having my girlfriends having mycommunity.
And I think that's why you and Iare both like plugged into
community because we realize isthat we have others that reflect
back to us, our awesomeness.
(26:52):
We have others that hold us whenwe're struggling.
We, we can begin.
I think a lot of us women are.
Verbal processors, so when westart to say it out loud, then
it's like, dang, I guess I'monto something.
Tracie (27:06):
Right?
Right.
I always that we were talkingabout this just the other day in
our mastermind at at GatherCommunity where, you know, if
you have a thought, somethingthat you want this dream that
you're making, tell someonebecause as soon as you say it
out loud, it's what happened.
When I opened Gather, it waslike, Ooh, this is real.
It also happened when I closed.
(27:28):
When I had been thinking about,do I need to close?
Do I need to just accept thatthis is the end?
And I get choked up even justthinking about it because it was
hard.
But as soon as I told someoneelse, you know what?
I think I need to let the leasego for gather, all of a sudden
it didn't feel wrong and itnever felt wrong, but it didn't
feel hard anymore because now itwas like in the universe and
(27:54):
outside of my head.
It felt right because of thediscussion of talking with
another person about it.
And then of course, you knowwhen you talk to one person, but
then now it's five people andnow it's the planet maybe on
social media.
It just, it reinforces thatthis, that we're making the
(28:14):
decisions that are right forourselves and for the community
around us.
Whatever that community equates,whether that's.
Your family or your town or theplanet or whatever that, you
know, gotta say it out loud.
Carrie (28:29):
You, you, you just brought in something also that
I've been sharing with peopleas, as I help them to vision is
I say it has, I, your goal needsto be audacious enough that it
has good in it for other people.
Mm-hmm.
Love that.
The fact that you were lookingfor.
How does this not only serve me,but how does it serve my
community?
(28:49):
Whether it's the community thatwas paying for right membership
or whether your community atlarge, right?
We as leaders have a vision, a,a bigger vision that.
We don't know necessarily howall the little pieces are gonna
come together, but the rightpeople, the right circumstances,
(29:10):
the right ideas do come throughbecause it's the glasses that
we're wearing.
We're on the search forsomething that's in alignment
with that.
And that's really what you weredoing, I think, is you're like,
I still am gonna do a community.
It's just gonna look different.
Tracie (29:26):
Well, and you're absolutely correct.
And what it was was in thebeginning, and I think this
happens with a lot of people,especially early in business, is
you're so focused on how do Imake money and how do I do this
thing that I said I'm gonna do,but the, the desperation factor
of like, I have to make profitand what's my, what's my ROI,
(29:47):
what's this like narrowself-serving need the
desperation.
As opposed to, like you said,working more from a purpose
standpoint and like the reason.
I told people when I closedGather and opened the Gather
community, I said, I didn'trealize that what I was trying
to do was build community.
(30:08):
I thought I just made a room sothat people could,
Carrie (30:11):
Hmm.
Tracie (30:12):
And it was like, it was more of a definition factor,
right?
Because I wasn't calling itcommunity at that point.
I was calling it Gather, whichimplies community, but also is
like it's a space to gather foryou.
And I wasn't really puttingmyself in that community.
I was offering a service.
To other people.
And so when I realized that itwas all so much more intertwined
(30:37):
that I really really thought Iwas creating, when we had to
close the doors and, and open itup virtually, it got so much
bigger that I couldn't deny anylonger.
The whole point was to bringpeople together.
It wasn't to have a room torent, it was to connect people.
And so that's when everythingchanged and that's why we're
still here five years later isbecause the understanding.
(30:59):
Of the value to the bigger, tothe greater good, the greater
community finally made sense.
Carrie (31:06):
Beautiful.
I love to hear that.
You know,'cause I, I met youafter that.
Right?
Right.
So I've, I don't think I'veactually, well, you
Tracie (31:14):
wouldn't even recognize who I used to be.
Oh, wow.
I told Katerina not long ago, Isaid, oh yeah, I was a sarcastic
bitch.
Oh, and everyone goes, what?
What do you mean?
And I was like, dude, I wascorporate high, you know, highly
driven to be in charge to runthe show, lone Ranger.
(31:39):
You know, and I was very, I wasmuch more soft at home with my,
my first husband and havingkids, but especially before he
and I got married and startedour family, it was very much
like.
I'm working, I'm doing thething.
I'm in charge.
I'm smart.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, and, andsarcasm, especially in the, you
know, nineties, two thousands.
(32:01):
That's just kind of what humorwas.
That's Seinfeld, right?
And, and modern humor and modernkind of more open sensibilities
aren't like that anymore.
At least not for me.
Carrie (32:16):
Wow, you're, yeah, it's funny, you're divine defining
somebody that I don't see youas, that I don't experience you,
that I, I experience you asvery, very bright, very
creative.
You know, bold that, all of thatand, but bold in a way that
(32:37):
isn't abrasive in any way, buttruth telling, definitely truth
telling.
Yeah.
Well, that's the Sagittarius inme,
Tracie (32:44):
right?
I think, I think also that thatit's, it's part of being
comfortable in yourself andbeing willing to be open, you
know, so it was also a very kindof closed off.
I'm protective of my inner self,kind of at
Carrie (33:00):
that
Tracie (33:01):
point, it was all about the show.
Carrie (33:03):
That takes a lot of energy, doesn't it?
Like, oh my God.
I was just thinking, you know,trying, trying to look in a
certain way to to be a certain,I was just thinking, well, it's
perfection.
Right?
Tracie (33:15):
It's the perfectionist.
Carrie (33:17):
Yeah.
Well, I thrive
Tracie (33:19):
that we all had back then that we're like, gonna be
great.
I'm gonna be perfect andeveryone's gonna admire me for
what I can do.
And like, it's just so ick now.
I just, Hmm huh And it allowsme.
To see it in other people insuch a way that it's, I have a
(33:39):
more understanding view of itbecause it's part of, since it
was part of my journey, it'sprobably just part of theirs
too, and we'll figure it outtogether.
Carrie (33:52):
You know, the thought that occurs to me is what
shifted.
But you know, we have someforerunners like Brene Brown.
Absolutely.
And a guy that I studied withCharmaine, she, which is
positive intelligence, sothere's certainly a.
What do we wanna call it?
A push for authenticity.
Yes.
For that ability for us to beself-expressed, to realize, to
(34:14):
really ask ourselves who'sdriving the show?
Yep.
You know, is it our judge?
Is it exterior society?
Yeah.
So I think there's, I think themainstream is that people are
becoming much more conscious andaware.
Yeah.
About their own self.
Or maybe it's just'cause we'regetting older.
I don't know.
Tracie (34:34):
No, I, I totally agree.
I think it's all of the above.
I think we are getting older andtherefore we understand
ourselves better and thereforeeach other better.
But I do think that the worldhas changed.
Having two teenagers, my Gen Zkiddos, you know, I see how
things are different for peoplewho are still in their teens.
Mm-hmm.
And how much more self-awarethey are than gosh I ever was
(34:55):
when I was 17.
Carrie (34:57):
For sure.
Yeah, that's so true.
I think about my 20-year-old andmy 25-year-old.
Mm-hmm.
And like, yeah, my younger one,he just always very.
Self-aware or self aware.
Mm-hmm.
Reflective, you know, and he'dcall me on my stuff too.
He'd say, mama does nuts.
Not congruent.
(35:17):
Yeah.
Tracie (35:17):
You're not lining up today.
Yeah.
I mean, the day that my oldestcame to me and said, you know, I
got some stuff I need to workthrough.
I think I should talk tosomeone.
I was just like.
Okay, that's amazing.
And absolutely let me help you,you know, get that put together
and, you know, and she's doingamazing.
(35:39):
And it didn't only serve her tosay that, but because obviously,
you know, she got the supportthat she needed outside of
parents.
Carrie (35:52):
Yes.
Tracie (35:52):
But but it, it.
It's that whole, like everyoneneeds therapy, but you know, as
Gen Xers we say it kind of as ajoke, but the Gen Zers are like,
no, it's true.
Everyone does need therapybecause, you know, it just means
you have someone to talk to andbe honest with and work through
(36:14):
your feelings or whatever.
Like it's, yeah, it's prettyamazing.
They're, this generation iscrazy.
Cool.
Carrie (36:22):
Yeah.
And maybe because of the COVIDsituation a few years ago
they're, they had a lot of timein their hands
Tracie (36:28):
too, you know?
I'm sure it's definitely a bigpart of it as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love it.
Well, anyway, okay.
I wanna come back to you becauseour time is almost up, but you
know, Carrie, I've seen overthese last three years that
we've been connected this shiftthat you have done from.
Business coaching to purposecoaching.
(36:49):
You were talking a lot aboutmoney then you were talking
about purpose.
Now you're talking about beingthe queen of your destiny, which
of course you get to decide whatyour destiny is, and that could
be lots of money and purpose.
But you know, what do you seelike from this point forward?
Like what is your, what drivesyou day to day to keep going
(37:11):
with your current?
Iteration and how you're helpingyour clients and potential
clients.
Carrie (37:17):
Yeah, so maybe it's just the reflection of the clients
that I get an opportunity towork with and to see them grow.
It's like so awesome.
I'm just thinking about oneclient in particular who came to
me it, and she goes, I neverrealized I had a choice.
She's about my age and I went,oh yeah girl, you got a choice.
(37:41):
You in your relationship andwhat you're doing and you always
have, but now that you'vefigured it out, now what's next?
So I see is an expansion.
So talking to larger groups,doing more retreats.
I kind of put those on hold fora little while as I was caring
for my mom and really.
Taking a deeper dive and sostaying along the trajectory.
(38:03):
I've also been asked to writedown the process that I use in a
book so that people can actuallyhave easier access to it.
And then I.
So I'm considering doing that,but that means I'd have to pause
long enough to write the darnbook.
But when I wrote, when an, whenI wrote that a chapter in the
anthology, women Living in anAlignment, I began to realize
(38:24):
that part was also my legacy, iswhat was the process that I went
through as I went through asense of betrayal.
And rather than seeing myself asa victim, that's another thing
we haven't talked about today,rather than seeing myself as a
victim, I saw myself as the heroone.
The ability to overcome thedifficulties and learn from the
(38:44):
difficulties.
And so that's what I want allwomen to have, is to realize
stuff happens that we have nocontrol of, and how do we
transform that so that it's oursuperpower, that it creates a
deeper level of compassion forourselves, for others, and
really a deeper realignment withwho we be.
Tracie (39:07):
Yeah.
And you know that compassion,since there's others a part of
that, it is that expansion outinto the community, into the
planet.
And I keep saying, this is howwe're changing the world.
People like that.
Compassion is the key to otherpeople feeling safe enough to be
themselves mm-hmm.
(39:27):
And honest with what they careabout so that caring expands and
we all, you know, have greatercaring and expansion in the
world.
Carrie (39:36):
The last bit, I just have to say'cause it, it's been
a key component of what I'vebegan to realize is I think I
started this whole journeythinking there was something in
me that needed to be fixed.
Hmm.
And then I began to realize, no,just a diamond in the rough
looks like some rock that youjust walk past.
Once it's polished, once thedirt's taken off and it's
(39:58):
defined maybe a little bit, youknow, the facets are cus cut
into it.
It shines, right?
So we're the same.
There's nothing wrong with usand yet there's some shining
that's going on.
Some getting, clearing some ofthe pre-programming that's taken
us to think that we were, thatwhen really we are like this God
(40:20):
spark that wants nothing morethan to be fully self-expressed.
And shine, shine, shine.
Tracie (40:27):
I love it.
Well, Carrie, I am so glad thatwe got to spend all this time
together.
Our time together tends to be solike quick'cause we're always in
the middle of taking care of ourcommunity.
But you know, this was probablythe longest conversation we've
had outside of a vehicle in along time.
It's so
Carrie (40:45):
true.
And what a delight.
Thank you so much for the workthat you do, Tracy.
Oh, it's my pleasure.
Ignite lives with a greatersense of, I call it juicy
aliveness.
Yes,
Tracie (40:55):
absolutely.
I'm thrilled that we got tospend this time together.
Thank you for being on thepodcast.
We'll make sure that we shareall of your stuff in the notes
and.
If you've gotten to watch theend of this podcast or listen,
make sure you take a look atwhat's op, what opportunities
are in the notes for you toconnect further with Carrie.
Carrie, my friend.
Thank you so much.
Carrie (41:16):
Thank you my friend.
Blessings.
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