October 22, 2025 • 39 mins
We explore the difference between aloneness that shapes calling and loneliness that erodes the soul, and how God’s presence and real participation in community bridge the gap. Personal stories, Scripture, and practical next steps point toward belonging, purpose, and action.
• Yehidim as a lens for beloved vulnerability
• Alone versus lonely defined with biblical examples
• Church as participation rather than proximity
• Introvert and extrovert insights on recharging
• Proverbs 18 and the danger of isolation
• Shame, openness and finding a family of faith
• Lowering walls through humility and curiosity
• God’s promises to the lonely across Psalms
• Vertical connection with God before horizontal
• Obedience, action and walking through valleys
• Avoiding echo chambers to grow in community
Please write to us, let us know where you're at. If you're particularly somebody who's feeling lonely... reach out to us. Seriously, reach out to one of us, reach out to all of us. We'd all like to talk to you and help you through whatever that next step is.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:02):
Welcome to the Boundless Bible.
My name is David Shapiro.
Hey, I'm Javi Marquez.
And I'm Jason Holloway.
Hey guys, so I'm going to starttoday's episode a little bit
different.
I'm going to start with a Hebrewword, Yehidim.
And yehidim is comes from theBible, and what it means is
lonely.
But it's not loneliness like weknow it.
(00:22):
It actually means only child, orit's the beloved but vulnerable
person.
So they don't see it as anemotion, as a feeling, even
though there are times whereI've been in a room and it's
been filled with people, and Ijust feel like I'm invisible.
And and loneliness is it's notjust the absence of people, but
it's the absence of being seen,being heard, feeling like you're
(00:46):
part of something.
Have you guys felt that?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Yeah, wholeheartedly.
And as somebody who's an onlychild, I love that definition.
Thank you very much.
It means I'm more loved thanother people with siblings.
So thanks for that.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Um, yeah, look, I I Carl Junghas a quote that loneliness does
not come from having no peoplearound, but being unable to
communicate.
(01:09):
So I think you're right ontarget with that.
I too, I mean, especially whenyou're, you know, an angsty
teenager or an angsty 20something, you know, it's it's
easy to find yourself in largecrowds or groups or parties and
go, why do I feel so alone?
Why do I feel so separate fromother people?
And one of the things that I,you know, kind of found out from
(01:31):
that Carl Jung quote and some ofthe things I think we'll talk
about today is that it'sloneliness and alone are two
very different concepts.
And they're and biblically, aswe talk about it too, you know,
they express themselves verydifferently.
There's there's a purpose or anunderstanding of alone, which is
a different purpose and adifferent understanding of
loneliness.
SPEAKER_00 (01:51):
Listen, in church we're told that we should be
part of a community, church is acommunity, but we have to
realize that that community isnot proximity, it's
participation.
So you could be part of acommunity and not participate,
and you're gonna feel veryalone.
Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
No, I love that's a good distinction because I could
see people being lonely atchurch.
You know, like they could besurrounded, they believe in the
same God, they believe in JesusChrist and this walk, but still
feel lonely, still feel unseen,still feel, you know, I don't
fit in, you know, this is weirdfor me, or people don't see me.
And I think we were talking alittle bit offline, Jason.
(02:26):
You were saying I think it waskind of key.
It's you can still feeldisconnected in some kind of way
because you're thinkinginternally.
Like, how can I listen to youwhen I'm thinking about myself?
You know, and I think that waskind of kind of interesting.
I think there's a there's abattle that's going on between
there's an internal battlethat's happening that you can't
enjoy the physical, you can'tenjoy other people's presence
(02:46):
and what they're going throughbecause you're so internally
thinking about your own self.
And not to say that's selfish inany kind of way, I just think
it's hard, it's a tough battle.
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
It's in your head.
It's like an eternal battle,right?
We are we are sinners, we arepeople who tend to think of
ourselves first and not put Godfirst.
And one of the many challengesthat come when we put ourselves
first is the amount of internalstruggle we put upon ourselves.
And again, we'll we'll talkabout this later.
I think we should probablyseparate this into two parts,
(03:16):
right?
Like what about alone andloneliness.
So at the at the end, we cantalk maybe more about the
loneliness part, but I I I willprecurse it by saying I think a
lot of people get in theirheads, especially when they're
feeling lonely or alone, tostart thinking about, well, I'm
not worthy and I'm not enoughand I'm not good enough, and and
nobody does, you know, I don'tdeserve the attention or the or
(03:36):
the connection.
And that's something thathappens when you're when you're
by yourself, when you'rethinking of oneself and you're
not thinking of God first orGod's people first.
And and it's not to say thatthose thoughts aren't normal
because they are entirelyprobably the most normal thing
in the world, but there, butthere is an antidote to them.
And the antidote is, you know,acknowledging God first,
acknowledging God's communityfirst, putting your putting them
(03:59):
before yourself, and you'll see,you know, a huge transformation.
But but again, that's that's alater topic.
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
So let's let's talk about a lot of things.
I love that you said Jason, yousaid lonely and loneliness, you
know, it's something to thinkabout because you said, you
know, that you don't believethey're they're together, that
they're they belong separate,which is you have loneliness and
lonely and you know the feelingof being lonely.
Uh I'm just curious if you knowwhat to you is the difference
between the two?
SPEAKER_02 (04:23):
Well, I mean, alone, alone is is when you are not
with other people, you areisolated or you're, you know,
when when you feel see, it'stricky, right?
Because they're there, you know,when you feel alone is also the
feeling of loneliness.
But when you're actuallyphysically alone is when you no
one's around you.
So I would say that there's a Iwould actually say that alone
(04:44):
can be a benefit.
When you pray, you shouldprobably play alone sometimes.
We we talk about characters inthe Bible who needed to be alone
in order to in order to findtheir next step or what God's
will was.
And so Jesus is one and Moses isone who had to be alone for a
while, but they they weren'tnecessarily lonely.
They may have been.
(05:04):
I'm not gonna say that theyweren't at that time, but they
may they that's not a necessitythat they were lonely just
because they were alone.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
So yes, I think solitude is necessary to reveal
your identity, your calling.
I think that's we what you'rementioning.
You know, you look at Moses andKing David, they needed to be in
solitude to find their calling,where Jesus he withdrew many
times from his disciples andchose to be alone to spend time
with the father.
(05:31):
And and you know, I just a quickstory.
I think about this all the time.
When I was learning to be acoach in in the ring, when I was
a fighter for years, and I waslearning to be a coach, one of
the things my coach told me isyou don't reprimand your fighter
in the presence of others.
You take them away, youreprimand them alone, and then
they bring them back.
(05:52):
I go, man, God has God hasprivately trained me for a
public calling.
Yeah.
And I'm so glad that God hasfollowed that rule as well for
me because man, it would havebeen hard to publicly go through
some of the things I've gonethrough.
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
Right.
Yeah, I mean, that I thinkthat's a really great point.
I mean, the the idea thatsometimes you're again, we're
it's a very fine line, but yourbeing alone and maybe feeling
lonely in that moment of alonecan be God shaping you.
It can definitely be God, youknow, helping you to sharpen
your blade, to hone your craft,to deal with some of your own
(06:31):
demons so that you're able tobetter help other people deal
with their demons.
And like you said, you don'twant to do that, you don't want
to do that in public.
Very true.
SPEAKER_01 (06:39):
Yeah, I get Javi.
You know, there's this there'sthis thing that we have to
remember that we're we are notalone, right?
We're we're all God is alwayswith us, right?
And we always have somebody tolean on, to to speak to, right?
And and build a relationshipwith.
And I think if we lean into hiswords and lean into that
relationship we have with God,we could start finding our
(07:03):
crowd, our people, people thatunderstand us, people that want
to, you know, form arelationship with us, which is
also an important thing of howto combat.
I mean, maybe we'll get intothat, how to like overcome
loneliness is throughrelationships.
You know, I think that's the bigkey.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
You know, Javi, you mentioned loneliness, you know,
people that sometimes you needto rid yourself of people.
And I think about that.
I go, you know, there are timesthat people are in my life that
I have to, for the betterment ofthe presence of my purpose, I
actually choose to be alone andnot in their presence, which
makes perfect sense.
But but I'm gonna I'm gonnachallenge both of you for a
(07:40):
second because there are peoplewho are introvert to extrovert.
There are people who being aloneis something that they actually
look forward to and it refillsthem.
And then you have people thatbeing alone scares them and they
don't want to be part of that.
And I just kind of want to hiton it for a second, you know,
introvert to extrovert.
First of all, I already knowwhat it is, but which one are
(08:01):
you guys?
Are you introvert or extrovert?
And what does that mean for you?
Uh yeah, go ahead, Javi.
SPEAKER_01 (08:06):
Please.
Uh let me start first.
So I find myself to be both,which is kind of weird.
I I get my feel, like I get myenergy from others and speaking
to others.
I'm a verbal thinker.
Sometimes you hear it on thepodcast.
I'm thinking through what I'mthinking, and I have to let it
out.
And I think I get energy fromjust being around others.
And then there's times that Ijust want to be alone.
(08:27):
I just want to just kind of bein my own little room, think
about things, but I never letmyself go too deep in that.
That I get into some kind of youknow depression or kind of
feeling loneliness.
But there is that too that Ikind of battle with.
I think I'm more of an extrovertif I have to pick one, but I
think I love the both.
SPEAKER_00 (08:46):
Is what you would say you are.
I think I know.
I am actually an introvert thatmasquerades as an extrovert.
I I, if you look at my life, Ihave very few friends, close
people to me, a very smallcircle.
I would prefer the time ofreflection and loneliness than a
time filled with noise.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Aloneness.
We gotta we gotta think of it.
Aloneness.
Aloneness, right?
Look, I'm I'm that's good.
I think a lot of people might besurprised by this, but I am
definitely an introvert, likehardcore introvert.
The fact that I'm able to, youknow what I learned one time is
that an introvert is somebodywho recharges alone.
An extrovert is somebody whorecharges with other people.
(09:29):
And I have friends who, if theythey I mean, I think everybody
like turns up the heat a littlebit when other people are
around, but there's some peoplewho literally draw energy from
it.
And I'm on the other side.
I'm like, I I love talking topeople and I enjoy our
conversations, but I'm spentwhen it's over.
I am spent.
So yeah, I'm very much anintrovert.
So going back to this wholeconcept of people who love to be
(09:50):
alone versus people who don't,right?
That's where we're the wherethis is going.
And I think I again, for me,it's very important to separate
the idea of alone and lonelybecause I can be alone for long
periods of time and write andread and recharge and think and
consider, but I don't feellonely in those moments.
I I feel alone, but I don't feellonely.
(10:12):
And you know, I think thatthat's that's the big
difference.
It's like the question is do youfeel do you feel lonely?
And do you feel lonely?
If you're an extrovert or anintrovert, do you feel lonely or
do you feel not lonely?
SPEAKER_01 (10:22):
No, no, no, no.
I I no, I'm I don't know.
I'm no.
I feel like when I'm alone, Iknow that I have people that
that love me, that want to toknow about me.
I am secure with who I am and mylove.
And for myself, you know, not tosay that that's the reason why
(10:43):
people are lonely, but formyself, I I feel like I'm okay
with being alone.
I think through my faith anddiving into my faith a little
bit more, I found being alone isa recharge to be we need to be
alone.
We need to to to really shapeout what's going on in our head
and really give it up to God,you know, kind of let it go.
(11:03):
There's there's a there's athere's a recharge in praying,
there's a recharge in readingthe Bible and re getting
refilled in that way.
And then we also, you know, Ihave to go out there.
Like I I call myself anextrovert because I see people
and I I go up to you and I'lltalk to you just because I'm
curious about you.
And and I try to be humble inthe in a sense to listen to you
(11:24):
and hear from you, and hopefullyI'm able to offer something from
you, right?
And that's of course, that's thegift of God.
SPEAKER_02 (11:29):
So, right?
It's like you have you have Godby your side, you have a
community of believers by yourside.
You have those things.
And again, this is kind of why Iseparate the alone versus
lonely.
I I think that's what thisconversation is is about, is
like being able to segment alonefrom lonely and and being able
to see either the benefit or thepower of aloneness and the and
(11:50):
the maybe the finding theantidotes to the loneliness.
SPEAKER_00 (11:55):
Yeah, I mean, I think that I was gonna flip the
script anyway, so I'm glad youdid.
But but mine was, you know, I'msomebody who feels as though,
yes, when I'm alone, and I'vesaid it, when I'm alone, I I
feel like I get recharged.
The thing is, and I think aboutthe the show alone that's on
right now, and that show, I'm onit going, man, these guys are
leaving after six, seven days.
(12:16):
I can go years, no problem.
But the truth of the matter isthat God knows this and he knows
we're not meant to be alone.
And flipping that from you know,us kind of going, look, it's
okay to be alone, and there aretimes we want to be alone, to
God is saying to us, it's notgood to be alone all the time.
And that, you know, people wantto be seen, they want to be
(12:38):
heard, they want to be known,and that's nothing wrong with
that.
That's actually how God made us.
So I feel like even being anintrovert, when I watch that
show, I'm going, no, I really Ithink if I'm alone too much, it
would get to me.
And I do want company frompeople not just to say hi to,
but you know, hobby, you got thenail on the head with that,
which is, you know, you want toknow people and their story and
(13:00):
what they're about, and you wantsome meaningful relational
conversation.
Somebody coming up just sayinghi doesn't do it for me.
When I'm engaged in conversationabout the Lord, I light up and I
can go for days and feelrecharged through it because
it's meaningful conversation.
And I think that that's nowwe're getting the heart of
lonely versus alone, yeah, whichis do you want to be, you know,
(13:23):
unseen, deeply known?
What where's your, you know,your motivation and how do you
feeling this lonely versusalone?
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Well, and I and I should also temper the idea of
like, oh, I'm an introvert andyou're an introvert and we're
introverts, and we like to bealone, but not forever.
None of us wants to be aloneforever, right?
And that and and there's a timewhen loneliness or excuse me,
aloneness can turn to lonelinessor even sinfulness.
Um, I was looking this week andfor no particular reason, but
(13:52):
Proverbs 18 came up and it says,He who isolates himself pursues
selfish desires.
He rebels against soundjudgment.
I mean, the Proverb is tellingus that we are meant to be
communal animals.
Even even if we are exhausted byit sometimes, we're called to be
that.
Because uh the reality is wecan't know ourselves wholly
without putting ourselvesthrough the rigor of other
(14:14):
people.
We have to, how do we react toother people?
How do we connect with otherpeople?
What parts of ourselves do weneed to develop in order to
connect with other people?
What part of our it's very easyto be alone and think that
everything's perfect and you'reperfect because nobody's telling
you otherwise because you're notgetting any feedback to the to
the contrary.
But I think that one of thethings for me particularly,
(14:36):
coming back to the faith, I'vesaid this before that community
that I've found in the Christianchurch or in our church is
second to none.
I mean, I I wouldn't have hadthat otherwise.
There, there's parts of myselfthat have been developed that
I've been able to practice, thatI've been able to execute
against, that I've learned aboutmyself, that I never would have
been able to do if I sat alone,you know, with myself.
(14:58):
I mean, I have a family too,don't get me wrong.
I mean, I my my family is ultraimportant in this as well.
And I think that's probablyanother side of the loneliness
we should talk about.
But yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
But I I feel like I feel like with you know, Jason,
like letting go of maybe whathas been done in the past for
you, I think you came, like youryour story's interesting, right?
For you not, you know, kind ofcombating this faith in God and
just trying to find your way.
And maybe, you know, at times,you know, I don't want to put it
words in your mouth, but like attimes maybe you felt like I now
(15:28):
that I maybe want to believe orgo into it, I I feel ashamed to
kind of do that.
And I feel like my past isstopping me to moving forward in
that.
And I think you found thatconfidence to come forward and
go, I'm open, I'm here and I'mopen.
And that's kind of my story aswell.
You know, like I was I kind ofhit in a way some kind of rock
bottom, and I was open toreceive any kind of spiritual
thing or kind of help.
(15:48):
I was grabbing, you know, anykind of direction in a way, and
with that openness, God foundme.
And within that openness, Icontinue to, you know, search
further.
And I think that's one of thethings is and we could rest
assured with our faith thatJesus Christ came for us, you
know, He He died and bled forus, and our sins are forgiven.
(16:10):
Our past is done.
We've we've been washed away.
Like that shame that you felt,or you feel weird, or you feel,
you know, you feel anxietybecause people are not gonna see
you in a way, like that that'sdone.
That's due away.
So we can move forward inconfidence, knowing that we
could build a relationship withothers, you know, and most of
all with God.
So I love that that you came toyou, you were open coming into
(16:31):
that.
You would if you weren't open,Jason.
I feel like it would be reallyhard.
I would be lonely.
I would be far more lonely thanthat.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
I mean, that's that's that's what it comes down
to, right?
Like I I yeah, I feel for thelonely people.
I feel tremendous empathy forthe lonely people.
And and I think that's anotherthing we need to acknowledge is
there's a lot of differentpeople who are lonely for
different reasons.
There are people who are lonelyin their relationships, there's
people who are lonely because oftheir friend groups, there's
people who are lonely becausethey feel like they have nobody,
(16:59):
there's people who feel lonelybecause of a larger family
structure.
I mean, there's a lot of peoplewho feel lonely for a lot of
reasons.
And the beauty of the gospel isthat even though the physical
people around you that you'vesurrounded with yourself so far
may have not been filling thatvoid, A, God is there to fill
that void.
(17:19):
God is there, Jesus is there tofill that void, to be beside
you, to understand you.
Going back to the Carl Jungquote about earlier about not
feeling understood, Godunderstands.
You know, there's you don't youdon't need to express it out to
a person to have them understandit if at the very minimum, if
you can say it to God and hegoes, I know, I get it, I
understand.
I think there's a there's suchbeauty and such power in that.
(17:41):
But beyond that, he's given usthe the church, the body of the
church.
And the body of the church isthe expression of God through
humans, at least if you'rearound godly people, right?
That's a I think that's a reallyvalid, valuable part of this.
It has to be people who areexpressing the the values of
God.
But if you're around them, thenyou're also going to be seeing
(18:04):
you're gonna be seeing God inphysical form.
You know, you're going to beseeing in a tangible form.
And it's such a blessing to beable to do that and to find
people who share those beliefs,to find people who are willing
to listen to your story nomatter what.
And you've mentioned a few timesin this podcast already the
shame that you might have.
People who've been through thesame things and yet they're
(18:24):
moving forward.
To be able to see that makes youfeel far less lonely because
you're not the only person whoscrewed up.
The you're not the only personwho's yeah, we we all, I mean,
spoiler alert, every single oneof us has screwed up
tremendously in our lives, andyet we got to keep going.
And God says, keep going, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (18:43):
You know, Jason, you mentioned multiple types of
reasons to feel lonely, and itreally makes me I start thinking
about King David.
And King David was rejected byhis family.
Yep.
Uh, he was outcast, then he wentalone, running from Saul, spent
a lot of time alone, probably inin biblical characters.
He's the one who I think of themost when it comes to being
(19:04):
alone, and he wrote laments inPsalms about it.
Psalm 68, six, literally, hewrote, God sets the lonely in
families.
And I think about the three ofus, and God set the three of us
who we all just admitted we havethese introvert tendencies, we
have our past, we have thesereasons, and yet we come
(19:24):
together so naturally becauseGod put us into a family.
And I feel as though when peopleare feeling like, hey, I'm
alone, I'm lonely, whether it'sa family rejection, whether it's
I chose to be alone and now Idon't want to be anymore,
whether it's I'm running fromsomething and I feel alone
because I'm running from thatthing, God will put you with a
(19:46):
family.
And I think that's one of themost beautiful things.
Now we can talk about theloneliness that where God's
presence is always there, butGod is also making a way for us
to feel connected with others.
Yeah.
That way we're never lonely,we're always in a family.
And I think that's one of themost beautiful things that he
does.
unknown (20:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
I mean, he Hebrews 10, 24 through 25 says, let us
consider how we may spur oneanother on toward love and good
deeds, not giving up meetingtogether, but encouraging one
another.
I mean, again, we are we arebuilt to be in community,
whether we are introverts,extroverts, or otherwise, we are
built because we just we can'tdevelop ourselves in a vacuum.
(20:23):
We can't, and and I also don'tthink, and I this may be even
even a point further than Iexpected to go here, but like
we're not expected to do it in asmaller group either.
Like if we if we just getourselves into an echo chamber
of, you know, the three or fourpeople that that agree with us
all the time, that's not goingto help us either.
Like we have to be in larger,larger groups, and we have to
force ourselves, even if it'svery uncomfortable sometimes, to
(20:46):
connect with people who are veryunlike us, who are come from
different walks of life anddifferent backgrounds and
different political leanings,and and to continue to express
those things so that we canlearn about ourselves and again
do it for the glory of God.
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
We we cover that in Job, where we looked at Job's
three friends who who arelike-minded and they were giving
the same advice, and it wasterrible advice.
And if you have just the thesame people as you, I agree a
hundred percent.
You know, we we we're called tofind different people to share
and do life with.
But yes, I agree.
It's it's you know, sometimespeople surround themselves with
(21:21):
three of themselves.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
And you can still feel very lonely.
SPEAKER_02 (21:25):
Yeah, I and I I'll even say that one of the things
I think I mentioned thisearlier, but I'm not sure how
deep I went into it.
Is look, I I think that there'sa certain amount of selfishness
that comes with loneliness.
And I know that might may sounda little harsh, but I mean, if
I'm sitting in a room by myselftelling me I'm not worth it, I'm
not good enough, I don't deservethis, uh why should I get
(21:46):
anything?
That's a very personal,internalized, selfish thing.
And I can't say that I'm notguilty of feeling those things.
I think we're all guilty offeeling those things, but it's
when you really stop and look atit, that's not what God has ever
asked us.
It's not how God sees us, it'snot the way other people see us.
It's how we see ourselvesbecause we get stuck in our own
(22:08):
little circles of our of our owninterior life.
And so part of the part of thethe most important parts of
stepping out into a largercommunity is being able to step
out of your own head.
Being able to I I remember evenwhen I first started jumping in,
if I'm being really honest, Iwould say, Well, I still don't
fit in here.
This I don't fit in here.
(22:28):
People aren't like me.
They're they're not like me,they don't think the same things
as I do.
That's thing that that personsaid just it doesn't resonate
with me.
And the big change for me was tobe able to say, let me stop
looking at it from myperspective, let me look at it
from theirs.
And maybe this person isn'tgonna be like me in 50 things,
but let me find the singularthing that we relate in.
(22:52):
And that took some selflessnesson my part.
This this is not a pat me on theback scenario.
This is something I've gonethrough that somebody else might
benefit from hearing.
Is like I had to physically say,like, okay, let me find the
connection point between me andthis person.
And when I did that, my ownwalls were able to come down.
And I was able to look at thesepeople differently, and I was
(23:12):
able to then, by extension, lookat myself differently and go,
man, I really was being a littlebit, I don't know, uppity.
I was being a little bit, youknow, uh me, me, me, me, me.
And it wasn't until I looked atthese people and said, Oh, this
is what we have in common.
It's these two things.
And now I can connect with themon these two and and God, right?
We we all have God in common.
But sorry, I'm right, I'm I'mrambling a little bit, but it's
(23:32):
it's it's just important to me.
SPEAKER_01 (23:34):
No, that's the beauty of relationships.
That's the beauty ofrelationships.
I think it's there's this thing,there's this iron sharp and iron
things that happen.
There's just perseverance thathappens, right?
There's I know a lot of people,you know, that do not want to go
to churches because they feelhurt, or they feel like I don't
want to deal with people becausethey hurt me or the way they
(23:55):
are, or I gotta go through theseweird, awkward conversations
that I don't want to go through.
And I think that's the beauty ofrelationship.
The beauty of relationship is tobuild one another, is to I need
to be humble to listen to whatyou're saying, right?
And and listen, and then I'mable to receive maybe so
hopefully a relationship there.
I'm able to find commonity.
Common, find similarities,right?
(24:17):
Sorry, I guess so findsimilarities in that that I
could build off of.
You know, I need to go throughthe hurt, right?
Somebody lied to me or didsomething to me, and I'm able to
persevere through that throughGod, through other
relationships, and go, allright, I'm better for it.
I know how to guard myself.
But guarding yourself andputting yourself in a room,
putting yourself alone, that'swhat the enemy wants.
He wants you to be alone, hewants you to have your own
(24:40):
thoughts, your own feeling ofthings.
And we need to remember that,like going back to what you were
saying, like you are worth it.
God loves you, you are perfectthe way you are, and he wants to
put you in a group of people tobuild this community, build this
relationship so you can allflourish.
You could be the hand, I couldbe the foot, Jason could be the
head, he could be David, couldbe the chest.
(25:00):
Like we're all parts of a bodythat builds this bigger kingdom.
No, I'm not sure.
Sorry, I'm like preaching out,but I I just feel like you said
the right words, and youexpressed it better than I did.
SPEAKER_02 (25:09):
It's it's getting into a relationship with other
people is more about loweringyour own walls than anything
else.
Like, I can't succeed in arelationship if I'm all walls,
right?
I can't succeed in arelationship if I already know
everything.
I can't succeed in arelationship if I'm already
perfect.
(25:30):
And so if you're trying tosucceed in those relationships,
it requires you to humbleyourself, to break down your
walls of separation betweenothers, and it forces you to
connect, and then thatconnection is what changes you.
I mean, it's I I think a lotabout again, and now we're let's
go back to maybe some moretheological stuff, but I mean,
(25:51):
this is what the entire Bible isabout.
Like, it's about re-rebirth.
Like, you know, it's it's thisis this is our opportunity to
resurrect ourselves.
Our our we're you know, we'reoftentimes we're dead men
walking because we believe weknow everything.
It's not until we die to ourflesh, die to our ego, die to
ourselves, that we are able tobe reborn into a much bigger
(26:12):
community, into the community ofGod.
SPEAKER_01 (26:16):
I wanted to say, like, you're you're you're not
alone in your loneliness, right?
When you look at the Bible,there's multiple characters, and
David might jump into it, likeJoseph, right?
He was lonely, he was sold offby his brothers.
Moses killed somebody and wantedto go into Zezre for how long he
was.
He was lonely in that.
Elijah is a big one.
Elijah was so big.
(26:37):
He went off, he ran away, he dideverything he did for God.
He ran away, and he wanted tokill himself, right?
He prayed for death in what hejust did.
How how deep of loneliness hewas feeling within that.
You know, and then God was like,No, no, no, you go back, go, you
go back there, right?
Right?
That's funny.
He did take a nap, he did acouple naps, and then David,
(26:58):
right?
We got so many multiple stories,and then of course, I feel like
the the biggest one is Jesus.
Jesus, I feel like we mentionedbefore, maybe Jesus went out to
be alone.
I don't think he was lonely inthe desert, he was alone, he had
to be by himself to pray, andthat's where the devil was
trying to get him, right?
And alone, but he had God'sword.
But where he felt the mostlonely and deserted is him being
(27:20):
on the cross.
His disciples ran away from him,everything was like just taken
away from him.
He's like, Where is everybody?
God, why have you forsaken meand putting me in this
situation?
And to feel just to I say thatto say, just know you're not
alone in your loneliness, and wecould overcome that through the
stories, through the stuff thatwe see in the Bible, and how God
(27:40):
redeems his character.
SPEAKER_00 (27:42):
What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna combine what the two
of you are saying because Ithink it's really important that
you know we see a lot of peoplein distress, and I always say
that with the Bible, you knowthe ending of the story, so it's
almost easier.
You go, Well, yeah, he wasalone, but I know he ends up
fine because this.
Right.
And there are times in our liveswhen we are truly feeling uh
alone, yes, but we have thosewalls up and they are secure,
(28:06):
boy.
And and us saying you have totake the walls down, they're
going, yeah, right.
That's like telling somebodywith an anxiety attack, just
calm down.
Just calm down.
It's just not something thatthey go, it's it's impossible.
And the only thing I can say isthat the one person that deeply
knows you is God.
And if you look at Deuteronomy31, 6, Lord your God goes with
(28:28):
you, he will never leave you.
Yeah, this is somebody who nowknows everything you did.
So when you go, hey, I'm notgonna go to this group, they
have no idea what I did, theyhave no idea what I'm going
through, God does.
Right.
And he will never leave you.
So the creator himself, wholoves you, will always be there,
knows everything that's goingon, knows how you're feeling,
and he's still there with you.
(28:49):
So in the moment when you'refeeling alone, when you have
that loneliness built up in you,and you can't, you go, I can't,
I just can't make it to a groupright now.
I can't make it to a group.
It is crippling loneliness.
I can't even get out of my ownway.
At the bare minimum, know thatthe creator of everything who
loves you, who sacrificedhimself for you, will never
(29:12):
leave you.
He's there with you.
It's it's something to work offof.
So, yes, he wants us to havecommunity, but for somebody who
says, I can't step intocommunity right now, the
community he wants is with himas well.
Yeah.
And you have to just lean intothat a little bit.
SPEAKER_02 (29:26):
Well, there's a bunch of psalms about that.
I mean, you know, the Lord isclose to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed inspirit.
I mean, I think for anybody whois out there who is really going
through it and feeling isolatedand feeling both alone and
lonely, you're not.
And the Bible's very clear aboutthat.
You are not.
You are not alone.
You are you are in the presenceof God who loves you, who's
(29:49):
standing right behind you andjust waiting for you to turn
around.
You know, there's a weird song,there's a song called What's
What's that song that we sing atchurch?
I forget what the name of thesong is, but it says something
about meet me in the middle.
You know, you'll meet me in themiddle, you'll meet me in the
middle.
Middle.
And we were singing this song inchurch the other day, and it
really hit me.
Something something hit mereally hard is that we're so
used to thinking meet in themiddle.
If I walk halfway, you'll walkhalfway.
(30:09):
God doesn't walk halfway.
If you take a single half stepin the opposite direction, he'll
cover the other 10 miles.
And yeah, this is, I mean, whata like I got chills thinking
about it.
Like, what a glorious idea thatI don't even need to take a
hundred steps towards yourhundred steps.
If I just turn my head towardsyou and surrender and say, I
(30:32):
need you, he's there.
Immediately he's there.
SPEAKER_00 (30:36):
And I that a better feeling.
I I have I've said this on on, Ibelieve, this podcast.
I've been interviewed and talkedabout my testimony.
Yeah.
Having a rough go with myearthly father, and and coming
to Christ ultimately by knowingthere's a heavenly father that
loves me.
Psalm 2710 gets to me probablymore than any other psalm.
And it is though my father andmother have received forsaken
(30:59):
me, the Lord will receive me.
Ouch.
And it's something where I don'tknow if there's anything in my
life more harmful or hurtfulthan being rejected constantly
by my earthly father.
And to have the heavenly fatherreceive me and as you said,
cover 10 miles, even if I turn,to still be there every time I
(31:22):
turn away.
And I think of like a cartoonwhere as far as the guy walks
away, he turns around over hisshoulder and the guy's still
right there.
And I'm going, that's that'sGod.
And I'm I'm so blessed that Godhad found me in that moment
because I was very alone.
I was very lonely.
And he knew it and said that,you know, your heavenly father
(31:42):
is here to receive you forever.
Yeah.
And he's never left me.
SPEAKER_01 (31:49):
I I feel like in the in the midst of being lonely and
doing the things that, you know,depress, anxiety, being
shameful.
You know, I think there issomething up, and I'm learning
this myself.
God calls us to also be we haveto be totally right, we have to
be obedient.
He could he he could go, hey, Iknow you're lonely, and you feel
(32:11):
like you want a uh uh friendswith you.
Hey, here's this flyer to thisthis music thing that you like,
go to it.
You might meet some people, andyou're like, no, no, no, no.
Like you still have to walk anddo that.
He's not gonna take it, I don'tthink he's gonna take it away
and get rid of it.
I mean, we look at characterslike David, right?
David was out, yeah, he wasbeing chased by Saul, he felt
(32:35):
lonely.
I mean, he says it in Psalm 25,16, 17.
He goes, Turn to me and begracious to me, for I am lonely
and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heartand free me from my anguish.
And then the famous oneobviously is you know, in the
valley, right?
Psalm 23, 4.
Even though I walk through thedarkest valley, I will fear no
(32:55):
evil, no evil, for you are withme.
Your rod and your staff, theycome for me.
That is good, but he still hadto walk through it.
He still had to go through it.
Oh, Javi, what a good onecoming.
And I'm I'm learning thismyself.
I'm I'm I'm preaching this tomyself because I still need to
learn to take action, right?
David smacks me in the top ofthe head all the time.
No, not physically, but alwaysverbally.
(33:16):
It's like I need to take actionin the things that he's calling
me because although I am scaredof those things, although I am
sometimes it gives me anxiety tokind of walk through those
things.
I know there is a there'ssomething greater within that,
and I think I'm afraid to takethat on.
And I think we have to be okaywith walking through that, you
know.
So I say that to say, takeaction in what God is calling
(33:36):
you.
The Holy Spirit is speaking tous always, and community is a
good thing, it's not a badthing.
Community is a great thing.
SPEAKER_02 (33:43):
I couldn't agree more, and I mean, I think I've
I'm I feel like I'm beingredundant at this point, but I'm
being redundant purposefullybecause it's so important to me.
The like you said, the obedienceto God is how God's will gets
executed.
Like, God's will can't beexecuted if you go, yeah, not
today.
(34:04):
Like, nope, not this week.
Nope, I'll go next Sunday.
Like it that his will can't bedone.
We we have to express, we haveto be the living expressions of
his will.
We have to be the livingexpressions of you know what
will ultimately be God'sprovidence.
And if we don't act, thingsdon't change, you know, and and
(34:26):
particularly as it comes toloneliness.
And again, this is somethingthat I don't think I ever
understood the level ofloneliness that I had before I
started joining these groups,but I have far less now.
I mean, look, life is neverperfect and nobody's ever
perfect, but I have far lessloneliness than I had before
because I have a communityaround me.
I do have a group of peoplearound me, and it and I did have
(34:47):
to do the work to show up, and Idid have to do the work to
figure out how to connect, and Idid have to do the work on
myself to stop being soegotistical that I was like,
well, I don't fit here, or oreven self-critical.
It's maybe not the wordegotistical, but so
self-critical, I don't fit here.
This isn't for me.
These people aren't for me.
This isn't like me.
SPEAKER_01 (35:06):
And you have so much to give too, Jason.
Like your experiences of whatyou went through through your,
you know, through your childhoodand just kind of your adulthood,
right?
But also your experience througheducation and everything like
that.
Like you have so much to give,you know, not only Jason, but
all of us, right?
And I think that's what he callsus to is not only to receive, to
(35:26):
receive relationship, but alsoto give what's going on.
SPEAKER_02 (35:29):
But when you're so lonely, and this is the thing,
when you're so lonely, you don'tsee the things you have to give.
Because you're thinking, well,this is especially when you're
in a when you're in a vacuum,everything sounds abstractly or
it sounds super normal becauseit's just what's in my head.
Like, so to me, it was neveranything to give.
It was never, I never hadanything to offer anybody.
But then I get in a group ofpeople and they're like, oh,
that's cool.
But what is that?
Tell me about this, tell meabout this, what about that?
And I'm like, wow, I might haveI might actually have something
(35:51):
to give.
But I wouldn't have found thathad I continued to live in the,
you know, live without theaction that God had called me to
do to be in to be in a group ofpeople.
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
So yeah, I mean I'll tell you if if you're in this
moment and you're feeling I meantruly lonely, if you're feeling
alone and you can't, you know,you just don't have the ability
to reach out, just remember theconnection starts vertically
before horizontally.
SPEAKER_02 (36:15):
And if you just reach out to me clear, I know, I
know we know what that means,but explain what that means.
SPEAKER_00 (36:20):
So the connection vertically means with God, who
above.
I mean, that's that's theconnection piece right there is
I'm connecting with God beforeI'm connecting with man.
And it's so important to havethat relationship and God will
help guide you through.
You know, we said it, God setsthe lonely in families, God does
things, God will not leave us.
So we need to have thatrelationship vertically, and he
(36:43):
will give us those opportunitiesand put those people in our
lives, he will put that familyin our lives that we can connect
with.
We just need to connect withhim.
And and I just think that, youknow, if you're in that position
where you feel like, hey, I'mtrying everything, or I'm an
introvert and I just can't getout there, build that
relationship vertically, and Iguarantee you the horizontal one
(37:03):
will fall into place a loteasier.
SPEAKER_02 (37:06):
And I and I'll and I'll leave it with this too.
I think there's a lot of peoplewho are lonely who don't know
what is next, or they think theyknow what's next and it's not
working out for them.
And I'll leave you with Proverbs3, which is the 3-5, which is
trust in the Lord with all yourheart and lean not on your own
understanding.
We think we know so much, we tryto control so much, but we just
don't we don't know.
(37:26):
And so if you get right with theLord, that's trusting in the
Lord with all your heart.
And if you are being humble inthat relationship, it means
you're not going to lean on yourunderstanding.
And if you do submit your waysto him, he will make those paths
straight.
He will help you find thatcommunity, he will lead you out
of that loneliness, he will leadyou out of that aloneness.
And I think that that's justsuch a such a beautiful thing to
(37:49):
remember is that I every personlistening, I love you deeply,
but you don't know.
God knows.
Trust trust in the Lord with allyour heart and lean not on your
understanding because yourunderstanding is not as as great
as his is.
And I and and I say that withall the love and care and
compassion I can possibly give,but it's it's it's a worthy
thing to remember in all that wedo.
So, guys, this has been quite aconversation.
(38:12):
You you all have shared thingsthat I didn't know about you,
also.
So I appreciate that.
I always appreciate learningabout you.
I also appreciate learning aboutour people who follow and listen
as well.
So please write to us, let usknow where you're at.
If you're particularly somebodywho's feeling lonely and you're
somebody who's feeling like, youknow, this is this is something
that's really, you know, hurtingyou right now and a pain in your
(38:33):
life and feeling a deep feelingfor you.
Reach out to us.
Seriously, reach out to one ofus, reach out to all of us.
We'd all like to talk to you andyou know help you through
whatever that next step is.
Um, but until then, we're gonnago and we'll see you again next
week.
So thanks again for listeningand uh God bless you all.
SPEAKER_01 (38:51):
Bye bye.
See you guys.
Welcome to the Boundless Bible.
My name is David Shapiro.
Hey, I'm Javi Marquez.
And I'm Jason Holloway.
Hey guys, so I'm going to starttoday's episode a little bit
different.
I'm going to start with a Hebrewword, Yehidim.
And yehidim is comes from theBible, and what it means is
lonely.
But it's not loneliness like weknow it.
(00:22):
It actually means only child, orit's the beloved but vulnerable
person.
So they don't see it as anemotion, as a feeling, even
though there are times whereI've been in a room and it's
been filled with people, and Ijust feel like I'm invisible.
And and loneliness is it's notjust the absence of people, but
it's the absence of being seen,being heard, feeling like you're
(00:46):
part of something.
Have you guys felt that?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Yeah, wholeheartedly.
And as somebody who's an onlychild, I love that definition.
Thank you very much.
It means I'm more loved thanother people with siblings.
So thanks for that.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Um, yeah, look, I I Carl Junghas a quote that loneliness does
not come from having no peoplearound, but being unable to
communicate.
(01:09):
So I think you're right ontarget with that.
I too, I mean, especially whenyou're, you know, an angsty
teenager or an angsty 20something, you know, it's it's
easy to find yourself in largecrowds or groups or parties and
go, why do I feel so alone?
Why do I feel so separate fromother people?
And one of the things that I,you know, kind of found out from
(01:31):
that Carl Jung quote and some ofthe things I think we'll talk
about today is that it'sloneliness and alone are two
very different concepts.
And they're and biblically, aswe talk about it too, you know,
they express themselves verydifferently.
There's there's a purpose or anunderstanding of alone, which is
a different purpose and adifferent understanding of
loneliness.
SPEAKER_00 (01:51):
Listen, in church we're told that we should be
part of a community, church is acommunity, but we have to
realize that that community isnot proximity, it's
participation.
So you could be part of acommunity and not participate,
and you're gonna feel veryalone.
Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
No, I love that's a good distinction because I could
see people being lonely atchurch.
You know, like they could besurrounded, they believe in the
same God, they believe in JesusChrist and this walk, but still
feel lonely, still feel unseen,still feel, you know, I don't
fit in, you know, this is weirdfor me, or people don't see me.
And I think we were talking alittle bit offline, Jason.
(02:26):
You were saying I think it waskind of key.
It's you can still feeldisconnected in some kind of way
because you're thinkinginternally.
Like, how can I listen to youwhen I'm thinking about myself?
You know, and I think that waskind of kind of interesting.
I think there's a there's abattle that's going on between
there's an internal battlethat's happening that you can't
enjoy the physical, you can'tenjoy other people's presence
(02:46):
and what they're going throughbecause you're so internally
thinking about your own self.
And not to say that's selfish inany kind of way, I just think
it's hard, it's a tough battle.
SPEAKER_02 (02:55):
It's in your head.
It's like an eternal battle,right?
We are we are sinners, we arepeople who tend to think of
ourselves first and not put Godfirst.
And one of the many challengesthat come when we put ourselves
first is the amount of internalstruggle we put upon ourselves.
And again, we'll we'll talkabout this later.
I think we should probablyseparate this into two parts,
(03:16):
right?
Like what about alone andloneliness.
So at the at the end, we cantalk maybe more about the
loneliness part, but I I I willprecurse it by saying I think a
lot of people get in theirheads, especially when they're
feeling lonely or alone, tostart thinking about, well, I'm
not worthy and I'm not enoughand I'm not good enough, and and
nobody does, you know, I don'tdeserve the attention or the or
(03:36):
the connection.
And that's something thathappens when you're when you're
by yourself, when you'rethinking of oneself and you're
not thinking of God first orGod's people first.
And and it's not to say thatthose thoughts aren't normal
because they are entirelyprobably the most normal thing
in the world, but there, butthere is an antidote to them.
And the antidote is, you know,acknowledging God first,
acknowledging God's communityfirst, putting your putting them
(03:59):
before yourself, and you'll see,you know, a huge transformation.
But but again, that's that's alater topic.
SPEAKER_00 (04:05):
So let's let's talk about a lot of things.
I love that you said Jason, yousaid lonely and loneliness, you
know, it's something to thinkabout because you said, you
know, that you don't believethey're they're together, that
they're they belong separate,which is you have loneliness and
lonely and you know the feelingof being lonely.
Uh I'm just curious if you knowwhat to you is the difference
between the two?
SPEAKER_02 (04:23):
Well, I mean, alone, alone is is when you are not
with other people, you areisolated or you're, you know,
when when you feel see, it'stricky, right?
Because they're there, you know,when you feel alone is also the
feeling of loneliness.
But when you're actuallyphysically alone is when you no
one's around you.
So I would say that there's a Iwould actually say that alone
(04:44):
can be a benefit.
When you pray, you shouldprobably play alone sometimes.
We we talk about characters inthe Bible who needed to be alone
in order to in order to findtheir next step or what God's
will was.
And so Jesus is one and Moses isone who had to be alone for a
while, but they they weren'tnecessarily lonely.
They may have been.
(05:04):
I'm not gonna say that theyweren't at that time, but they
may they that's not a necessitythat they were lonely just
because they were alone.
SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
So yes, I think solitude is necessary to reveal
your identity, your calling.
I think that's we what you'rementioning.
You know, you look at Moses andKing David, they needed to be in
solitude to find their calling,where Jesus he withdrew many
times from his disciples andchose to be alone to spend time
with the father.
(05:31):
And and you know, I just a quickstory.
I think about this all the time.
When I was learning to be acoach in in the ring, when I was
a fighter for years, and I waslearning to be a coach, one of
the things my coach told me isyou don't reprimand your fighter
in the presence of others.
You take them away, youreprimand them alone, and then
they bring them back.
(05:52):
I go, man, God has God hasprivately trained me for a
public calling.
Yeah.
And I'm so glad that God hasfollowed that rule as well for
me because man, it would havebeen hard to publicly go through
some of the things I've gonethrough.
SPEAKER_02 (06:08):
Right.
Yeah, I mean, that I thinkthat's a really great point.
I mean, the the idea thatsometimes you're again, we're
it's a very fine line, but yourbeing alone and maybe feeling
lonely in that moment of alonecan be God shaping you.
It can definitely be God, youknow, helping you to sharpen
your blade, to hone your craft,to deal with some of your own
(06:31):
demons so that you're able tobetter help other people deal
with their demons.
And like you said, you don'twant to do that, you don't want
to do that in public.
Very true.
SPEAKER_01 (06:39):
Yeah, I get Javi.
You know, there's this there'sthis thing that we have to
remember that we're we are notalone, right?
We're we're all God is alwayswith us, right?
And we always have somebody tolean on, to to speak to, right?
And and build a relationshipwith.
And I think if we lean into hiswords and lean into that
relationship we have with God,we could start finding our
(07:03):
crowd, our people, people thatunderstand us, people that want
to, you know, form arelationship with us, which is
also an important thing of howto combat.
I mean, maybe we'll get intothat, how to like overcome
loneliness is throughrelationships.
You know, I think that's the bigkey.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
You know, Javi, you mentioned loneliness, you know,
people that sometimes you needto rid yourself of people.
And I think about that.
I go, you know, there are timesthat people are in my life that
I have to, for the betterment ofthe presence of my purpose, I
actually choose to be alone andnot in their presence, which
makes perfect sense.
But but I'm gonna I'm gonnachallenge both of you for a
(07:40):
second because there are peoplewho are introvert to extrovert.
There are people who being aloneis something that they actually
look forward to and it refillsthem.
And then you have people thatbeing alone scares them and they
don't want to be part of that.
And I just kind of want to hiton it for a second, you know,
introvert to extrovert.
First of all, I already knowwhat it is, but which one are
(08:01):
you guys?
Are you introvert or extrovert?
And what does that mean for you?
Uh yeah, go ahead, Javi.
SPEAKER_01 (08:06):
Please.
Uh let me start first.
So I find myself to be both,which is kind of weird.
I I get my feel, like I get myenergy from others and speaking
to others.
I'm a verbal thinker.
Sometimes you hear it on thepodcast.
I'm thinking through what I'mthinking, and I have to let it
out.
And I think I get energy fromjust being around others.
And then there's times that Ijust want to be alone.
(08:27):
I just want to just kind of bein my own little room, think
about things, but I never letmyself go too deep in that.
That I get into some kind of youknow depression or kind of
feeling loneliness.
But there is that too that Ikind of battle with.
I think I'm more of an extrovertif I have to pick one, but I
think I love the both.
SPEAKER_00 (08:46):
Is what you would say you are.
I think I know.
I am actually an introvert thatmasquerades as an extrovert.
I I, if you look at my life, Ihave very few friends, close
people to me, a very smallcircle.
I would prefer the time ofreflection and loneliness than a
time filled with noise.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Aloneness.
We gotta we gotta think of it.
Aloneness.
Aloneness, right?
Look, I'm I'm that's good.
I think a lot of people might besurprised by this, but I am
definitely an introvert, likehardcore introvert.
The fact that I'm able to, youknow what I learned one time is
that an introvert is somebodywho recharges alone.
An extrovert is somebody whorecharges with other people.
(09:29):
And I have friends who, if theythey I mean, I think everybody
like turns up the heat a littlebit when other people are
around, but there's some peoplewho literally draw energy from
it.
And I'm on the other side.
I'm like, I I love talking topeople and I enjoy our
conversations, but I'm spentwhen it's over.
I am spent.
So yeah, I'm very much anintrovert.
So going back to this wholeconcept of people who love to be
(09:50):
alone versus people who don't,right?
That's where we're the wherethis is going.
And I think I again, for me,it's very important to separate
the idea of alone and lonelybecause I can be alone for long
periods of time and write andread and recharge and think and
consider, but I don't feellonely in those moments.
I I feel alone, but I don't feellonely.
(10:12):
And you know, I think thatthat's that's the big
difference.
It's like the question is do youfeel do you feel lonely?
And do you feel lonely?
If you're an extrovert or anintrovert, do you feel lonely or
do you feel not lonely?
SPEAKER_01 (10:22):
No, no, no, no.
I I no, I'm I don't know.
I'm no.
I feel like when I'm alone, Iknow that I have people that
that love me, that want to toknow about me.
I am secure with who I am and mylove.
And for myself, you know, not tosay that that's the reason why
(10:43):
people are lonely, but formyself, I I feel like I'm okay
with being alone.
I think through my faith anddiving into my faith a little
bit more, I found being alone isa recharge to be we need to be
alone.
We need to to to really shapeout what's going on in our head
and really give it up to God,you know, kind of let it go.
(11:03):
There's there's a there's athere's a recharge in praying,
there's a recharge in readingthe Bible and re getting
refilled in that way.
And then we also, you know, Ihave to go out there.
Like I I call myself anextrovert because I see people
and I I go up to you and I'lltalk to you just because I'm
curious about you.
And and I try to be humble inthe in a sense to listen to you
(11:24):
and hear from you, and hopefullyI'm able to offer something from
you, right?
And that's of course, that's thegift of God.
SPEAKER_02 (11:29):
So, right?
It's like you have you have Godby your side, you have a
community of believers by yourside.
You have those things.
And again, this is kind of why Iseparate the alone versus
lonely.
I I think that's what thisconversation is is about, is
like being able to segment alonefrom lonely and and being able
to see either the benefit or thepower of aloneness and the and
(11:50):
the maybe the finding theantidotes to the loneliness.
SPEAKER_00 (11:55):
Yeah, I mean, I think that I was gonna flip the
script anyway, so I'm glad youdid.
But but mine was, you know, I'msomebody who feels as though,
yes, when I'm alone, and I'vesaid it, when I'm alone, I I
feel like I get recharged.
The thing is, and I think aboutthe the show alone that's on
right now, and that show, I'm onit going, man, these guys are
leaving after six, seven days.
(12:16):
I can go years, no problem.
But the truth of the matter isthat God knows this and he knows
we're not meant to be alone.
And flipping that from you know,us kind of going, look, it's
okay to be alone, and there aretimes we want to be alone, to
God is saying to us, it's notgood to be alone all the time.
And that, you know, people wantto be seen, they want to be
(12:38):
heard, they want to be known,and that's nothing wrong with
that.
That's actually how God made us.
So I feel like even being anintrovert, when I watch that
show, I'm going, no, I really Ithink if I'm alone too much, it
would get to me.
And I do want company frompeople not just to say hi to,
but you know, hobby, you got thenail on the head with that,
which is, you know, you want toknow people and their story and
(13:00):
what they're about, and you wantsome meaningful relational
conversation.
Somebody coming up just sayinghi doesn't do it for me.
When I'm engaged in conversationabout the Lord, I light up and I
can go for days and feelrecharged through it because
it's meaningful conversation.
And I think that that's nowwe're getting the heart of
lonely versus alone, yeah, whichis do you want to be, you know,
(13:23):
unseen, deeply known?
What where's your, you know,your motivation and how do you
feeling this lonely versusalone?
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Well, and I and I should also temper the idea of
like, oh, I'm an introvert andyou're an introvert and we're
introverts, and we like to bealone, but not forever.
None of us wants to be aloneforever, right?
And that and and there's a timewhen loneliness or excuse me,
aloneness can turn to lonelinessor even sinfulness.
Um, I was looking this week andfor no particular reason, but
(13:52):
Proverbs 18 came up and it says,He who isolates himself pursues
selfish desires.
He rebels against soundjudgment.
I mean, the Proverb is tellingus that we are meant to be
communal animals.
Even even if we are exhausted byit sometimes, we're called to be
that.
Because uh the reality is wecan't know ourselves wholly
without putting ourselvesthrough the rigor of other
(14:14):
people.
We have to, how do we react toother people?
How do we connect with otherpeople?
What parts of ourselves do weneed to develop in order to
connect with other people?
What part of our it's very easyto be alone and think that
everything's perfect and you'reperfect because nobody's telling
you otherwise because you're notgetting any feedback to the to
the contrary.
But I think that one of thethings for me particularly,
(14:36):
coming back to the faith, I'vesaid this before that community
that I've found in the Christianchurch or in our church is
second to none.
I mean, I I wouldn't have hadthat otherwise.
There, there's parts of myselfthat have been developed that
I've been able to practice, thatI've been able to execute
against, that I've learned aboutmyself, that I never would have
been able to do if I sat alone,you know, with myself.
(14:58):
I mean, I have a family too,don't get me wrong.
I mean, I my my family is ultraimportant in this as well.
And I think that's probablyanother side of the loneliness
we should talk about.
But yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:06):
But I I feel like I feel like with you know, Jason,
like letting go of maybe whathas been done in the past for
you, I think you came, like youryour story's interesting, right?
For you not, you know, kind ofcombating this faith in God and
just trying to find your way.
And maybe, you know, at times,you know, I don't want to put it
words in your mouth, but like attimes maybe you felt like I now
(15:28):
that I maybe want to believe orgo into it, I I feel ashamed to
kind of do that.
And I feel like my past isstopping me to moving forward in
that.
And I think you found thatconfidence to come forward and
go, I'm open, I'm here and I'mopen.
And that's kind of my story aswell.
You know, like I was I kind ofhit in a way some kind of rock
bottom, and I was open toreceive any kind of spiritual
thing or kind of help.
(15:48):
I was grabbing, you know, anykind of direction in a way, and
with that openness, God foundme.
And within that openness, Icontinue to, you know, search
further.
And I think that's one of thethings is and we could rest
assured with our faith thatJesus Christ came for us, you
know, He He died and bled forus, and our sins are forgiven.
(16:10):
Our past is done.
We've we've been washed away.
Like that shame that you felt,or you feel weird, or you feel,
you know, you feel anxietybecause people are not gonna see
you in a way, like that that'sdone.
That's due away.
So we can move forward inconfidence, knowing that we
could build a relationship withothers, you know, and most of
all with God.
So I love that that you came toyou, you were open coming into
(16:31):
that.
You would if you weren't open,Jason.
I feel like it would be reallyhard.
I would be lonely.
I would be far more lonely thanthat.
SPEAKER_02 (16:36):
I mean, that's that's that's what it comes down
to, right?
Like I I yeah, I feel for thelonely people.
I feel tremendous empathy forthe lonely people.
And and I think that's anotherthing we need to acknowledge is
there's a lot of differentpeople who are lonely for
different reasons.
There are people who are lonelyin their relationships, there's
people who are lonely because oftheir friend groups, there's
people who are lonely becausethey feel like they have nobody,
(16:59):
there's people who feel lonelybecause of a larger family
structure.
I mean, there's a lot of peoplewho feel lonely for a lot of
reasons.
And the beauty of the gospel isthat even though the physical
people around you that you'vesurrounded with yourself so far
may have not been filling thatvoid, A, God is there to fill
that void.
(17:19):
God is there, Jesus is there tofill that void, to be beside
you, to understand you.
Going back to the Carl Jungquote about earlier about not
feeling understood, Godunderstands.
You know, there's you don't youdon't need to express it out to
a person to have them understandit if at the very minimum, if
you can say it to God and hegoes, I know, I get it, I
understand.
I think there's a there's suchbeauty and such power in that.
(17:41):
But beyond that, he's given usthe the church, the body of the
church.
And the body of the church isthe expression of God through
humans, at least if you'rearound godly people, right?
That's a I think that's a reallyvalid, valuable part of this.
It has to be people who areexpressing the the values of
God.
But if you're around them, thenyou're also going to be seeing
(18:04):
you're gonna be seeing God inphysical form.
You know, you're going to beseeing in a tangible form.
And it's such a blessing to beable to do that and to find
people who share those beliefs,to find people who are willing
to listen to your story nomatter what.
And you've mentioned a few timesin this podcast already the
shame that you might have.
People who've been through thesame things and yet they're
(18:24):
moving forward.
To be able to see that makes youfeel far less lonely because
you're not the only person whoscrewed up.
The you're not the only personwho's yeah, we we all, I mean,
spoiler alert, every single oneof us has screwed up
tremendously in our lives, andyet we got to keep going.
And God says, keep going, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (18:43):
You know, Jason, you mentioned multiple types of
reasons to feel lonely, and itreally makes me I start thinking
about King David.
And King David was rejected byhis family.
Yep.
Uh, he was outcast, then he wentalone, running from Saul, spent
a lot of time alone, probably inin biblical characters.
He's the one who I think of themost when it comes to being
(19:04):
alone, and he wrote laments inPsalms about it.
Psalm 68, six, literally, hewrote, God sets the lonely in
families.
And I think about the three ofus, and God set the three of us
who we all just admitted we havethese introvert tendencies, we
have our past, we have thesereasons, and yet we come
(19:24):
together so naturally becauseGod put us into a family.
And I feel as though when peopleare feeling like, hey, I'm
alone, I'm lonely, whether it'sa family rejection, whether it's
I chose to be alone and now Idon't want to be anymore,
whether it's I'm running fromsomething and I feel alone
because I'm running from thatthing, God will put you with a
(19:46):
family.
And I think that's one of themost beautiful things.
Now we can talk about theloneliness that where God's
presence is always there, butGod is also making a way for us
to feel connected with others.
Yeah.
That way we're never lonely,we're always in a family.
And I think that's one of themost beautiful things that he
does.
unknown (20:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
I mean, he Hebrews 10, 24 through 25 says, let us
consider how we may spur oneanother on toward love and good
deeds, not giving up meetingtogether, but encouraging one
another.
I mean, again, we are we arebuilt to be in community,
whether we are introverts,extroverts, or otherwise, we are
built because we just we can'tdevelop ourselves in a vacuum.
(20:23):
We can't, and and I also don'tthink, and I this may be even
even a point further than Iexpected to go here, but like
we're not expected to do it in asmaller group either.
Like if we if we just getourselves into an echo chamber
of, you know, the three or fourpeople that that agree with us
all the time, that's not goingto help us either.
Like we have to be in larger,larger groups, and we have to
force ourselves, even if it'svery uncomfortable sometimes, to
(20:46):
connect with people who are veryunlike us, who are come from
different walks of life anddifferent backgrounds and
different political leanings,and and to continue to express
those things so that we canlearn about ourselves and again
do it for the glory of God.
SPEAKER_00 (20:59):
We we cover that in Job, where we looked at Job's
three friends who who arelike-minded and they were giving
the same advice, and it wasterrible advice.
And if you have just the thesame people as you, I agree a
hundred percent.
You know, we we we're called tofind different people to share
and do life with.
But yes, I agree.
It's it's you know, sometimespeople surround themselves with
(21:21):
three of themselves.
SPEAKER_02 (21:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:23):
And you can still feel very lonely.
SPEAKER_02 (21:25):
Yeah, I and I I'll even say that one of the things
I think I mentioned thisearlier, but I'm not sure how
deep I went into it.
Is look, I I think that there'sa certain amount of selfishness
that comes with loneliness.
And I know that might may sounda little harsh, but I mean, if
I'm sitting in a room by myselftelling me I'm not worth it, I'm
not good enough, I don't deservethis, uh why should I get
(21:46):
anything?
That's a very personal,internalized, selfish thing.
And I can't say that I'm notguilty of feeling those things.
I think we're all guilty offeeling those things, but it's
when you really stop and look atit, that's not what God has ever
asked us.
It's not how God sees us, it'snot the way other people see us.
It's how we see ourselvesbecause we get stuck in our own
(22:08):
little circles of our of our owninterior life.
And so part of the part of thethe most important parts of
stepping out into a largercommunity is being able to step
out of your own head.
Being able to I I remember evenwhen I first started jumping in,
if I'm being really honest, Iwould say, Well, I still don't
fit in here.
This I don't fit in here.
(22:28):
People aren't like me.
They're they're not like me,they don't think the same things
as I do.
That's thing that that personsaid just it doesn't resonate
with me.
And the big change for me was tobe able to say, let me stop
looking at it from myperspective, let me look at it
from theirs.
And maybe this person isn'tgonna be like me in 50 things,
but let me find the singularthing that we relate in.
(22:52):
And that took some selflessnesson my part.
This this is not a pat me on theback scenario.
This is something I've gonethrough that somebody else might
benefit from hearing.
Is like I had to physically say,like, okay, let me find the
connection point between me andthis person.
And when I did that, my ownwalls were able to come down.
And I was able to look at thesepeople differently, and I was
(23:12):
able to then, by extension, lookat myself differently and go,
man, I really was being a littlebit, I don't know, uppity.
I was being a little bit, youknow, uh me, me, me, me, me.
And it wasn't until I looked atthese people and said, Oh, this
is what we have in common.
It's these two things.
And now I can connect with themon these two and and God, right?
We we all have God in common.
But sorry, I'm right, I'm I'mrambling a little bit, but it's
(23:32):
it's it's just important to me.
SPEAKER_01 (23:34):
No, that's the beauty of relationships.
That's the beauty ofrelationships.
I think it's there's this thing,there's this iron sharp and iron
things that happen.
There's just perseverance thathappens, right?
There's I know a lot of people,you know, that do not want to go
to churches because they feelhurt, or they feel like I don't
want to deal with people becausethey hurt me or the way they
(23:55):
are, or I gotta go through theseweird, awkward conversations
that I don't want to go through.
And I think that's the beauty ofrelationship.
The beauty of relationship is tobuild one another, is to I need
to be humble to listen to whatyou're saying, right?
And and listen, and then I'mable to receive maybe so
hopefully a relationship there.
I'm able to find commonity.
Common, find similarities,right?
(24:17):
Sorry, I guess so findsimilarities in that that I
could build off of.
You know, I need to go throughthe hurt, right?
Somebody lied to me or didsomething to me, and I'm able to
persevere through that throughGod, through other
relationships, and go, allright, I'm better for it.
I know how to guard myself.
But guarding yourself andputting yourself in a room,
putting yourself alone, that'swhat the enemy wants.
He wants you to be alone, hewants you to have your own
(24:40):
thoughts, your own feeling ofthings.
And we need to remember that,like going back to what you were
saying, like you are worth it.
God loves you, you are perfectthe way you are, and he wants to
put you in a group of people tobuild this community, build this
relationship so you can allflourish.
You could be the hand, I couldbe the foot, Jason could be the
head, he could be David, couldbe the chest.
(25:00):
Like we're all parts of a bodythat builds this bigger kingdom.
No, I'm not sure.
Sorry, I'm like preaching out,but I I just feel like you said
the right words, and youexpressed it better than I did.
SPEAKER_02 (25:09):
It's it's getting into a relationship with other
people is more about loweringyour own walls than anything
else.
Like, I can't succeed in arelationship if I'm all walls,
right?
I can't succeed in arelationship if I already know
everything.
I can't succeed in arelationship if I'm already
perfect.
(25:30):
And so if you're trying tosucceed in those relationships,
it requires you to humbleyourself, to break down your
walls of separation betweenothers, and it forces you to
connect, and then thatconnection is what changes you.
I mean, it's I I think a lotabout again, and now we're let's
go back to maybe some moretheological stuff, but I mean,
(25:51):
this is what the entire Bible isabout.
Like, it's about re-rebirth.
Like, you know, it's it's thisis this is our opportunity to
resurrect ourselves.
Our our we're you know, we'reoftentimes we're dead men
walking because we believe weknow everything.
It's not until we die to ourflesh, die to our ego, die to
ourselves, that we are able tobe reborn into a much bigger
(26:12):
community, into the community ofGod.
SPEAKER_01 (26:16):
I wanted to say, like, you're you're you're not
alone in your loneliness, right?
When you look at the Bible,there's multiple characters, and
David might jump into it, likeJoseph, right?
He was lonely, he was sold offby his brothers.
Moses killed somebody and wantedto go into Zezre for how long he
was.
He was lonely in that.
Elijah is a big one.
Elijah was so big.
(26:37):
He went off, he ran away, he dideverything he did for God.
He ran away, and he wanted tokill himself, right?
He prayed for death in what hejust did.
How how deep of loneliness hewas feeling within that.
You know, and then God was like,No, no, no, you go back, go, you
go back there, right?
Right?
That's funny.
He did take a nap, he did acouple naps, and then David,
(26:58):
right?
We got so many multiple stories,and then of course, I feel like
the the biggest one is Jesus.
Jesus, I feel like we mentionedbefore, maybe Jesus went out to
be alone.
I don't think he was lonely inthe desert, he was alone, he had
to be by himself to pray, andthat's where the devil was
trying to get him, right?
And alone, but he had God'sword.
But where he felt the mostlonely and deserted is him being
(27:20):
on the cross.
His disciples ran away from him,everything was like just taken
away from him.
He's like, Where is everybody?
God, why have you forsaken meand putting me in this
situation?
And to feel just to I say thatto say, just know you're not
alone in your loneliness, and wecould overcome that through the
stories, through the stuff thatwe see in the Bible, and how God
(27:40):
redeems his character.
SPEAKER_00 (27:42):
What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna combine what the two
of you are saying because Ithink it's really important that
you know we see a lot of peoplein distress, and I always say
that with the Bible, you knowthe ending of the story, so it's
almost easier.
You go, Well, yeah, he wasalone, but I know he ends up
fine because this.
Right.
And there are times in our liveswhen we are truly feeling uh
alone, yes, but we have thosewalls up and they are secure,
(28:06):
boy.
And and us saying you have totake the walls down, they're
going, yeah, right.
That's like telling somebodywith an anxiety attack, just
calm down.
Just calm down.
It's just not something thatthey go, it's it's impossible.
And the only thing I can say isthat the one person that deeply
knows you is God.
And if you look at Deuteronomy31, 6, Lord your God goes with
(28:28):
you, he will never leave you.
Yeah, this is somebody who nowknows everything you did.
So when you go, hey, I'm notgonna go to this group, they
have no idea what I did, theyhave no idea what I'm going
through, God does.
Right.
And he will never leave you.
So the creator himself, wholoves you, will always be there,
knows everything that's goingon, knows how you're feeling,
and he's still there with you.
(28:49):
So in the moment when you'refeeling alone, when you have
that loneliness built up in you,and you can't, you go, I can't,
I just can't make it to a groupright now.
I can't make it to a group.
It is crippling loneliness.
I can't even get out of my ownway.
At the bare minimum, know thatthe creator of everything who
loves you, who sacrificedhimself for you, will never
(29:12):
leave you.
He's there with you.
It's it's something to work offof.
So, yes, he wants us to havecommunity, but for somebody who
says, I can't step intocommunity right now, the
community he wants is with himas well.
Yeah.
And you have to just lean intothat a little bit.
SPEAKER_02 (29:26):
Well, there's a bunch of psalms about that.
I mean, you know, the Lord isclose to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed inspirit.
I mean, I think for anybody whois out there who is really going
through it and feeling isolatedand feeling both alone and
lonely, you're not.
And the Bible's very clear aboutthat.
You are not.
You are not alone.
You are you are in the presenceof God who loves you, who's
(29:49):
standing right behind you andjust waiting for you to turn
around.
You know, there's a weird song,there's a song called What's
What's that song that we sing atchurch?
I forget what the name of thesong is, but it says something
about meet me in the middle.
You know, you'll meet me in themiddle, you'll meet me in the
middle.
Middle.
And we were singing this song inchurch the other day, and it
really hit me.
Something something hit mereally hard is that we're so
used to thinking meet in themiddle.
If I walk halfway, you'll walkhalfway.
(30:09):
God doesn't walk halfway.
If you take a single half stepin the opposite direction, he'll
cover the other 10 miles.
And yeah, this is, I mean, whata like I got chills thinking
about it.
Like, what a glorious idea thatI don't even need to take a
hundred steps towards yourhundred steps.
If I just turn my head towardsyou and surrender and say, I
(30:32):
need you, he's there.
Immediately he's there.
SPEAKER_00 (30:36):
And I that a better feeling.
I I have I've said this on on, Ibelieve, this podcast.
I've been interviewed and talkedabout my testimony.
Yeah.
Having a rough go with myearthly father, and and coming
to Christ ultimately by knowingthere's a heavenly father that
loves me.
Psalm 2710 gets to me probablymore than any other psalm.
And it is though my father andmother have received forsaken
(30:59):
me, the Lord will receive me.
Ouch.
And it's something where I don'tknow if there's anything in my
life more harmful or hurtfulthan being rejected constantly
by my earthly father.
And to have the heavenly fatherreceive me and as you said,
cover 10 miles, even if I turn,to still be there every time I
(31:22):
turn away.
And I think of like a cartoonwhere as far as the guy walks
away, he turns around over hisshoulder and the guy's still
right there.
And I'm going, that's that'sGod.
And I'm I'm so blessed that Godhad found me in that moment
because I was very alone.
I was very lonely.
And he knew it and said that,you know, your heavenly father
(31:42):
is here to receive you forever.
Yeah.
And he's never left me.
SPEAKER_01 (31:49):
I I feel like in the in the midst of being lonely and
doing the things that, you know,depress, anxiety, being
shameful.
You know, I think there issomething up, and I'm learning
this myself.
God calls us to also be we haveto be totally right, we have to
be obedient.
He could he he could go, hey, Iknow you're lonely, and you feel
(32:11):
like you want a uh uh friendswith you.
Hey, here's this flyer to thisthis music thing that you like,
go to it.
You might meet some people, andyou're like, no, no, no, no.
Like you still have to walk anddo that.
He's not gonna take it, I don'tthink he's gonna take it away
and get rid of it.
I mean, we look at characterslike David, right?
David was out, yeah, he wasbeing chased by Saul, he felt
(32:35):
lonely.
I mean, he says it in Psalm 25,16, 17.
He goes, Turn to me and begracious to me, for I am lonely
and afflicted.
Relieve the troubles of my heartand free me from my anguish.
And then the famous oneobviously is you know, in the
valley, right?
Psalm 23, 4.
Even though I walk through thedarkest valley, I will fear no
(32:55):
evil, no evil, for you are withme.
Your rod and your staff, theycome for me.
That is good, but he still hadto walk through it.
He still had to go through it.
Oh, Javi, what a good onecoming.
And I'm I'm learning thismyself.
I'm I'm I'm preaching this tomyself because I still need to
learn to take action, right?
David smacks me in the top ofthe head all the time.
No, not physically, but alwaysverbally.
(33:16):
It's like I need to take actionin the things that he's calling
me because although I am scaredof those things, although I am
sometimes it gives me anxiety tokind of walk through those
things.
I know there is a there'ssomething greater within that,
and I think I'm afraid to takethat on.
And I think we have to be okaywith walking through that, you
know.
So I say that to say, takeaction in what God is calling
(33:36):
you.
The Holy Spirit is speaking tous always, and community is a
good thing, it's not a badthing.
Community is a great thing.
SPEAKER_02 (33:43):
I couldn't agree more, and I mean, I think I've
I'm I feel like I'm beingredundant at this point, but I'm
being redundant purposefullybecause it's so important to me.
The like you said, the obedienceto God is how God's will gets
executed.
Like, God's will can't beexecuted if you go, yeah, not
today.
(34:04):
Like, nope, not this week.
Nope, I'll go next Sunday.
Like it that his will can't bedone.
We we have to express, we haveto be the living expressions of
his will.
We have to be the livingexpressions of you know what
will ultimately be God'sprovidence.
And if we don't act, thingsdon't change, you know, and and
(34:26):
particularly as it comes toloneliness.
And again, this is somethingthat I don't think I ever
understood the level ofloneliness that I had before I
started joining these groups,but I have far less now.
I mean, look, life is neverperfect and nobody's ever
perfect, but I have far lessloneliness than I had before
because I have a communityaround me.
I do have a group of peoplearound me, and it and I did have
(34:47):
to do the work to show up, and Idid have to do the work to
figure out how to connect, and Idid have to do the work on
myself to stop being soegotistical that I was like,
well, I don't fit here, or oreven self-critical.
It's maybe not the wordegotistical, but so
self-critical, I don't fit here.
This isn't for me.
These people aren't for me.
This isn't like me.
SPEAKER_01 (35:06):
And you have so much to give too, Jason.
Like your experiences of whatyou went through through your,
you know, through your childhoodand just kind of your adulthood,
right?
But also your experience througheducation and everything like
that.
Like you have so much to give,you know, not only Jason, but
all of us, right?
And I think that's what he callsus to is not only to receive, to
(35:26):
receive relationship, but alsoto give what's going on.
SPEAKER_02 (35:29):
But when you're so lonely, and this is the thing,
when you're so lonely, you don'tsee the things you have to give.
Because you're thinking, well,this is especially when you're
in a when you're in a vacuum,everything sounds abstractly or
it sounds super normal becauseit's just what's in my head.
Like, so to me, it was neveranything to give.
It was never, I never hadanything to offer anybody.
But then I get in a group ofpeople and they're like, oh,
that's cool.
But what is that?
Tell me about this, tell meabout this, what about that?
And I'm like, wow, I might haveI might actually have something
(35:51):
to give.
But I wouldn't have found thathad I continued to live in the,
you know, live without theaction that God had called me to
do to be in to be in a group ofpeople.
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
So yeah, I mean I'll tell you if if you're in this
moment and you're feeling I meantruly lonely, if you're feeling
alone and you can't, you know,you just don't have the ability
to reach out, just remember theconnection starts vertically
before horizontally.
SPEAKER_02 (36:15):
And if you just reach out to me clear, I know, I
know we know what that means,but explain what that means.
SPEAKER_00 (36:20):
So the connection vertically means with God, who
above.
I mean, that's that's theconnection piece right there is
I'm connecting with God beforeI'm connecting with man.
And it's so important to havethat relationship and God will
help guide you through.
You know, we said it, God setsthe lonely in families, God does
things, God will not leave us.
So we need to have thatrelationship vertically, and he
(36:43):
will give us those opportunitiesand put those people in our
lives, he will put that familyin our lives that we can connect
with.
We just need to connect withhim.
And and I just think that, youknow, if you're in that position
where you feel like, hey, I'mtrying everything, or I'm an
introvert and I just can't getout there, build that
relationship vertically, and Iguarantee you the horizontal one
(37:03):
will fall into place a loteasier.
SPEAKER_02 (37:06):
And I and I'll and I'll leave it with this too.
I think there's a lot of peoplewho are lonely who don't know
what is next, or they think theyknow what's next and it's not
working out for them.
And I'll leave you with Proverbs3, which is the 3-5, which is
trust in the Lord with all yourheart and lean not on your own
understanding.
We think we know so much, we tryto control so much, but we just
don't we don't know.
(37:26):
And so if you get right with theLord, that's trusting in the
Lord with all your heart.
And if you are being humble inthat relationship, it means
you're not going to lean on yourunderstanding.
And if you do submit your waysto him, he will make those paths
straight.
He will help you find thatcommunity, he will lead you out
of that loneliness, he will leadyou out of that aloneness.
And I think that that's justsuch a such a beautiful thing to
(37:49):
remember is that I every personlistening, I love you deeply,
but you don't know.
God knows.
Trust trust in the Lord with allyour heart and lean not on your
understanding because yourunderstanding is not as as great
as his is.
And I and and I say that withall the love and care and
compassion I can possibly give,but it's it's it's a worthy
thing to remember in all that wedo.
So, guys, this has been quite aconversation.
(38:12):
You you all have shared thingsthat I didn't know about you,
also.
So I appreciate that.
I always appreciate learningabout you.
I also appreciate learning aboutour people who follow and listen
as well.
So please write to us, let usknow where you're at.
If you're particularly somebodywho's feeling lonely and you're
somebody who's feeling like, youknow, this is this is something
that's really, you know, hurtingyou right now and a pain in your
(38:33):
life and feeling a deep feelingfor you.
Reach out to us.
Seriously, reach out to one ofus, reach out to all of us.
We'd all like to talk to you andyou know help you through
whatever that next step is.
Um, but until then, we're gonnago and we'll see you again next
week.
So thanks again for listeningand uh God bless you all.
SPEAKER_01 (38:51):
Bye bye.
See you guys.
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