Ep. 31 - Who Stole My Cheese? Life Transitions Nobody Warns You About

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"Life's like a vapor—here today, gone tomorrow." These words resonate deeply throughout this candid exploration of life's unpredictable seasons. Unlike hunting seasons with their clear opening and closing dates, our personal seasons transition without warning. One day you're changing diapers, the next you're watching your child leave home, with no ceremonial moment marking the shift from one phase to another.

The conversation weaves through the challenges and joys of parenting at different stages—from the sleep-deprived early years when simply "keeping everyone alive" feels like achievement, to the delicate balance of letting children experience skinned knees while protecting them from genuine danger. As John puts it, parenting begins as "occupying another country," providing total support before strategically withdrawing as children develop independence. We share personal stories of how boys and girls navigate this territory differently, with boys often claiming independence prematurely while girls seek connection differently.

Beyond parenting, the discussion explores a profound mid-life transition many face: shifting from being a "striver" in our 20s and 30s to becoming more of a wisdom-giving "sage" in later decades. Many resist this change, fearing loss of position or relevance, yet embracing it leads to renewed purpose. This perspective shift represents one of life's great ironies—we only truly understand a season after we've moved beyond it, yet must find meaning while in the midst of it.

Faith emerges as the essential anchor through these transitions. Through biblical examples and personal testimonies, we illustrate how developing trust in something beyond ourselves provides stability when circumstances change. The wisdom shared offers a refreshing counterpoint to our culture's frantic pace: "If it's not going to matter in 30-60 days, don't worry about it." This perspective helps listeners focus on what truly matters while navigating their own changing seasons with purpose and hope.

Thanks for joining us on The Bowtreader Podcast. Leave a comment to let us know where you are listening from as well as any topics that you would like to hear us cover. Be sure to like the episode and subscribe to follow along.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
okay, here we go, listen, you hear that there's no
liquid death, that's exactlyright, it's not there it's not
there.
Sorry, dub, sorry, you feel badbuddy yep, yep, so dub's not
here this morning, so we didn'tget our our uh, what has
apparently become the signaturepop-a-top there?

(00:23):
Yeah, that's funny.
Anyway, yeah, I think he's onthe last day of whatever he's
got.
Yeah, good.
But anyway, you know, dub, whenhe gets sick man, he usually
burns hot Really.
I mean, he'll get a fever andhe'll hit 101 just randomly.

(00:46):
It's like you know, used tofreak us out.
I mean not when he was likereally little.
I guess it would freak us out.
The second kid's always you'relike.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I bet You're good.
The third one you're like wait,we have a kid.
Wait a minute, we've gotanother kid, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, so anyway.
But yeah, he's under theweather.
This morning I woke him up andhe was like I said, bud, you
just get some more sleep.
Yeah so, but anyway, all right.
So today we are going to talkabout seasons of life.
Yeah, you know, we talk abouthunt seasons all the time.

(01:25):
We love hunt season, whateverit is, whether it's turkey
season or quail season or deerseason or whatever it is.
We've got all these seasonsthat we love.
When we really stop and thinkabout it, we're living through
seasons as well, whereas ourhunting seasons are very defined

(01:46):
, you know.
We know what day is going toopen and we know what day it's
going to close.
The seasons we go through inlife are not as defined for us.
Like, so I've, I've got, I'vegot two kids and a wife, and my
kids are 20 and going to be 17here in a couple months.

(02:09):
And, like, I knew when I wasgoing to see my child for the
first time, right, and I knew Iwas going to be changing diapers
and all that kind of stuff, butI didn't know when I was going
to change my last diaper, Ididn't know when that season was
going to be changing diapersand all that kind of stuff.
But I didn't know when I wasgoing to change my last diaper.
I didn't know when that seasonwas going to end.

(02:29):
It's just like dang it's over.
I was not sad that that wasover.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Let me clarify that.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
But you go through these seasons that you don't
know how long you're going to bein a particular season.
You don't know what it's goingto look like, how it's going to
affect the rest of your life.
Because I can tell you rightnow, at 17 and 20, 16 and 20,
things are a whole lot differentthan it was when it was two and
four.
Yeah, right.

(03:00):
I get so so let's talk throughthat this morning, you know, in
an effort to I mean, we want tobuild you guys up, we want to
build everybody up that's goingto listen to this and help you
to persevere, right To get to aplace where you realize, you

(03:20):
know, regardless of what you'regoing through, it's a season.
You know it's not the way, it'sgoing to be forever and ever.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Amen.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
You know, that's just not the way.
That's not the way this worldworks.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
No absolutely.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
You know.
So let's talk through that andwhat it looks like and we can
start wherever y'all want to.
Yeah, you know, I've kind oflaid the groundwork of what it
looks like I mean you hit on achord because I've got James is
two and a half.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
He'll be three in July.
We've just hit the milestone ofpotty training and he is, I
mean, as of right now.
He hadn't missed Good aim.
Yeah, good aim and one in twoand everything's going as
smoothly as possible.
There you go.

(04:06):
It's been a been a blessing,but, like you said, I didn't
know when my last diaper for himwas was gonna be and it sounds
silly to even say no, it does,it does.
But but really when you thinkabout it like we're in the like,
my wife and I are in the thickof it.
We got a two and a half yearold, almost three year old, and
then a nine month old baby girlyeah that's like on the verge of

(04:26):
crawling and standing up andall the things.
But like those little, littlemoments in time, like they're.
They're big, they're bigmilestones, but they're also
like we're talking about thesetransitional times where we're
sleep deprived and busy withwork and trying to be an

(04:47):
actually functioning marriedcouple, um to where we're
communicating properly.
But we have these two humanswe're trying to keep alive and
nourished and all the thingsabout you and tara yeah, yeah,
exactly sometimes it feels likethat's all you're doing.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
It's just keeping everybody alive, just making
sure everyone's alive andbreathing, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, no, it is.
It's crazy and I think for theseason we're in right now with
James and just kind of the Imean, he's just a little man.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
And it's just crazy.

Speaker 3 (05:21):
It's just crazy to see the little transitions and
stuff like that and what hepicks up.
And now Madeline, she's nottalking or anything, but like
she sees a dog and like she'sgot like, she's like doing stuff
.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
She's got something to say, she just don't know how
to say it.
She doesn't know how to say it,but she, it's coming out.
It's coming out and it's justlike so cool to see that.
So, yeah, um, so how does thataffect?
All right.
So so you talked a lot aboutwhat it looks like.
You know in your, in yournuclear family right now, what
all those things look like, allthese moving pieces that you've

(05:58):
got going on.
How's it affecting every otherpart of your life?

Speaker 3 (06:02):
oh, oh, yeah, no, all right so.

Speaker 1 (06:04):
James is two and a half, so obviously Jace and Tara
are not living the same waythey were three years ago.
Absolutely not Three and a halfyears ago.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
Yeah we were very selfish and I think that's one
thing.
With kids, you realize howselfish you are, or just
self-centered you are.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Selfish is good.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
Selfish is good.

Speaker 3 (06:26):
We're here for you.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
I think, uh, I mean justspeaking on the like, doing the
things that I love hunting andfishing and all the things.
If you were to have met meseven to ten years ago, um, it
was every weekend I was huntingor fishing in some destination,

(06:47):
um, or locally, um, we weretalking about it earlier.
I've turkey hunted twice, uh,in georgia, uh, this season thus
far, and it's the 24th of april, um, so, between work and and
the season of life, things,things transition.
I would have probably alreadylimited out with a three turkey

(07:11):
limit probably right three kids,but uh yeah, not a bragging,
but just like, the amount oftime I was able to spend doing
what I loved was a lot more time, whereas now I've got little
blips on the radar of what I'mable to do, and fortunately my
wife recognizes that and andallows me to still do some of

(07:33):
that, even though it's it's asacrifice.
Um, so, but yeah, I would saythe the transition from um pre
pre-marriage to just Tara and I,and then now with kids, that
those three stages have beenpretty abrupt, um, across the
board for the most part, buttemporarily, uh, it's, it stinks

(07:58):
, but I know down the road I'llbe able to take james and
madeline with me in the woodsand hunt and fish and do all the
things.
It's just it'll be their time,not my time.
So, um, I'm really excitedabout that.
Um, james already got him, Igot him a little play shotgun
and he already walking in thebackyard acting like he's

(08:18):
shooting woodcock and quail, uh,with the bird dog.
So I'm looking forward to thatseason of life too, and that'll
be another transition ofintroducing them, immersing them
into God's creation.
So that's good.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, that's good stuff, brandon, what about you?
Where are you?

Speaker 2 (08:38):
at right now.
So I'm kind of the opposite endof the spectrum.
So I've got one who's alreadyout of the house, engaged,
getting married in October, gotanother one who will be moving
out in about a month, month anda half, and then I've got a
14-year-old.
So I've got a lot of time Ifwe're not at a ball game or

(09:03):
practicing baseball, that ifwe're not at a ball game or
practicing baseball, you knowI'm a lot more freed up than
I've been in years and years togo.
But I remember the stage thatjace is talking about where I
really didn't even hunt, yeah,oh, yeah, um, until my oldest
got to be three or four, two,well, probably three, and I

(09:25):
would carry him into a groundblind and usually he would fall
asleep on the way to the huntingclub.
in the afternoon I would carryhim in on my shoulder, take a
sleeping bag, take some gummybears and something for him to
do a coloring book or somethingand we'd sit in the ground blind
together and we actually endedup killing a couple of deer that
way, you know, and I was like,oh, that's just kind of the

(09:45):
bonus, you know, but just beingin the woods and him
experiencing that, um, and usdoing that together was really
cool.
Um, but that was about thelimit of my hunting at that time
.
And so you go through thoseseasons and now some of the guys
that I turkey hunt with anddeer hunt with, they're in the

(10:06):
season you're in, and so youknow it's always hey, let me see
if I can get a pass.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Let me cash my tokens .
Yeah, let me see if.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
I've built up enough tokens to cash those in.
But it's a different seasonwhere I do get to go more.
You know, and um, and you knowthey can go kind of when they
want to.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
You know, um, and they being the kids, kids, your
boys, yeah um and so, um, it'sjust a different season.

Speaker 2 (10:44):
So I do get to hunt a good bit and I enjoy that and
the thing that I've seen isevery season's different but
every season's got its ownaspects that are special about
it.
So you know, when my boys wereone, four and seven, that was a

(11:08):
fun season.
When they were, you know, five,eight and eleven.
That was a real fun season youknow, and now, as they're
getting older, it's still.
It's still good seasons, it's'sjust different.
You know, before we started thepodcast, we're renovating a
house for my son and his fianceto move into when they're

(11:31):
married, and so you just haveall these different things that
are happening.
I think the thing that'schallenging for a lot of people
is what you said is giving upthose things that you like
because it's not about youanymore and having your first

(11:54):
child exposes that more thananything else, because you
realize it's not about youanymore and being able to say no
to those things.
And it's not that you have tojust become a recluse and stay
at home and never do anything,but the priority is now kids and

(12:16):
family, making sure family'sgood, and all that.
I remember when we had ouroldest man, it was like I
couldn't take a nap when Iwanted to.
I couldn't go hunting when Iwanted to, I couldn't go fishing
when I wanted to, I couldn't goplay golf when I wanted to, and
I was like whatever, or you dotry to go do those things and

(12:38):
it's an absolute dumpster fire.
Yeah, absolute dumpster fire.
Yeah, you know, it's just likeabsolutely like plant.

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Your plans are to go and do and enjoy, and it's you
end up breaking the tip off yourfishing rod or spending the
whole time like just not doingwhat you want to do.
But again, like you're saying,the focus isn't again on that
season is not on you, right, um?

Speaker 2 (13:02):
and and you get.
You know it's funny, cause alot of times young people before
they're married they thinkthey're busy.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
And definitely.
I mean really you don't haveany perspective on anything else
and I talked to.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
I talked to a lot of college students at the church
and I'm like man, I'm so busyand I'm like and.
I'm like man, I'm so busy andI'm like shut up, yeah, be quiet
, you know, and I'm like I getit.
Yeah, I get it because Iremember the stress of finals.
I remember, you know, takingthat last final, every, and we
were on quarter system, but Iremember taking that last final
and not even care if I passed.

(13:39):
It's like it's just over, youknow, and like I remember that
feeling of thinking I was busybut you weren't.
And and um, when you have a kidand you're up two, three times
a night and you know, unlessyour wife's breastfeeding or
whatever, you're making bottles,and like y'all talked about not

(14:00):
knowing when you change thelast diaper, or you know, for me
it was when I made the lastbottle, like those are the
things that.
And I was at a restaurant theother day and there was a little
girl screaming her head off andshe's sweet, sweet as she could
be, but she could tell she wasworn out and I was like don't
miss it yeah I just don't?

(14:21):
you know, I I don't mean thatbad, but I'm like, don't miss it
and you get to this stage whereyou go from being just like dad
to being advisor almost, andjust more of a voice in their

(14:54):
life, versus telling them orshowing them what to do.
You're more of an advice giverin a way, and I think that goes
with a lot of transitions inlife.
You move from being the doer,the the one who tries to give
wisdom to people you know so.
But yeah, those seasons are arequick and they're changing and I

(15:17):
remember getting two, threehours sleep at night and
thinking I cannot do this forthe rest of my life and I didn't
realize it is a season, likeyou said.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
It's hard to feel it and see it when you're in the
middle of it, when you're in thethick of it, you know so I was
told this when I was younger,before kids came along, and it
was or, as you know, as we'regetting ready, preparing for
Allie to be born, people wouldtell me it's going to go by fast

(15:49):
.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
Right, you know, don't get stressed about little
stuff, don't get overwhelmed,because it's going to be over
before you know it yeah.
And I'm like these people arecrazy.
This is taking forever For thefirst five years, years, you
know, for the first five years,or first, you know four years,

(16:10):
or whatever.
I'm like man, she came to afootball.
Yeah, you know.
What do you mean?
This is gonna blow by, you know.
And then, and you know, I lookback on it now and I'm like
where?
In the world did the time go?

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, and it's the seasons of life there's a season
for everything.
And it goes by.
It does go by quick, but lifegoes by quick.
And the Bible tells us thatthat life's like a vapor.
It was here today and gonetomorrow.
And you think about how manybillions and billions or

(16:45):
trillions of people have gonebefore us?
And you know we're going to bethe same way, um, and so it's.
It's quick and unfortunately, Ithink we spend a lot of our
time worried about things thatdon't really matter?

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Don't really matter at all.

Speaker 2 (17:05):
So many frivolous things rob our joy that they
don't matter in the long run andI had a friend of mine tell me
one time I thought it was greatadvice.
He said if it's not going tomatter in 30 to 60 days, don't
worry about it.
I thought it was pretty goodadvice.
It was pretty sound, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:23):
Yeah, because the situation you're in today, like
you're saying, if you thinkabout it long-term, like does
this really even going to matteror am I even?
Going to remember this littlething.
Yeah, that's really good.
Yeah, I think the season likeTara and I are in is we're
really trying to focus onnurturing and guiding our kids

(17:47):
and giving and just putting themin environments where they
scrape their knees or they'redoing things and teaching them,
but we're also really trying tofocus on our relationship.
I think one thing that is reallyhard when you're in a season
like we're in, where we've gotyoung kids, is you constantly

(18:10):
focused on the kids, and it'sthe kids and this, the kids,
that you all your schedule iscompletely around them, but then
you forget, oh, I'm, I'mmarried to this person and, uh,
you feel like you're on othersides of the world.
But trying to maintain that andhave date nights and and

(18:31):
realize that we are in the thickof it, it is but just a blip on
the radar and the longterm whenyou're looking at it, long term
but, john, just like you weresaying, like when you're in it,
you're like man, this is like.
This is seasons, the seasonsforever, yeah, but they all feel
like they all feel like thatand then you blink your eyes and
yeah, you're, you're past it.

(18:52):
or you look back and you laughand you're like, wow, that was,
that was pretty funny.
Pretty interesting time but,yeah, trying to be present in
the moment, be excited aboutwhat's to come, but to also kind

(19:14):
of use the time that you haveor to make that time and to
utilize that in a positive way.
We had men's group last nightand kind of reflected on that.
We've been working through Actsand just Paul's.
We're kind of on the tail endof Acts and really seeing Paul's
ministry and I think one thingthat we can kind of take from

(19:36):
his ministry is just theselfless acts of knowing that
God's got him, even thoughthere's a couple of times where
he's thrown in jail and on theverge of being killed.
Last night we were in Acts 23,and there were 40 Jews that
committed to not eating ordrinking until Paul died.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
And we were talking last night like holy smokes.
That's some serious activity.

Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, we were talking lastnight like holy smokes, like
that's some serious that's some.

Speaker 3 (20:06):
Yeah, that's right, yeah, yeah, we also went on the
topic of like did they end updying or starvation because?

Speaker 2 (20:11):
he didn't.
He didn't die.
I'm sneaking a snicker.
Yeah, let's not eat.
How committed are you aroundthe corner?

Speaker 3 (20:20):
yeah you're not yourself when you're hungry.
Um, either way, we were justtalking through like, that of
like I wonder they were mad.
Yeah, I'd be bad too.
Um, but just knowing, like paul, very easily, I mean he, he
could, I mean for him in thatseason he was committed to god
either way, but the selfless actof like letting god guide him,

(20:43):
and he ends up getting throughthe night, having guarded
soldiers take them to a Romancity, and just it's just cool to
see like you can be in thethick of the thick, but God's
going to have you if you're, ifyou're committed and you're,
you're living a life for him andthrough him.
So I don't know, it's kind ofgood.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, you, you know we look at, we look at our, our
child rearing days, we look atour families and you know you
talked about you know you'reyou're kind of trying to do
things to put your kids insituations where you know james
might skin his knee or whatever.
Madeline's not doing that yetnot yet.
I mean really really, you'restill at the stage where you're

(21:28):
having to do everything.
Oh yeah, for them.
Yeah, because they, they areincapable of doing anything for
themselves.
The bath time everythingeverything I mean it's all yeah
james hadn't had a, hadn't had amishap yet with his, with his
potty training, with his, withhis bathroom, with his new
bathroom routine, you know, butit's coming oh, yeah, no because

(21:50):
there's gonna be a.
There's gonna be a time whereyou're not able to get him to
the bathroom fast enough or whatyou know, what, whatever you
know, something's gonna come upand and it's gonna slip your
mind.
It's not gonna happen to tara,it's gonna happen to jay oh,
it'll happen to me for sure.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
I'm just gonna let you know how this is gonna go.
I know, I already know, everytime I'm with her she's like
make sure he goes to thebathroom.
Yeah, I'm like oh, I have like30 other things I thought I
needed to do.
Right, bathroom was like on theback of the it's.

Speaker 1 (22:17):
Hey, it's natural, it's gonna come one way or the
other.
Buddy, whether you remember ornot, it's gonna come you know,
but, but so you're.
You're at that place whereyou're doing everything.
Right now, you and I are at theplace where I heard somebody
put it that that being a parentis like occupying another
country, right?

Speaker 2 (22:38):
so you're, that's pretty much what my house feels
like yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Sometimes hostile, sometimes it's a hostile
occupation, sometimes it's afriendly occupation, right?
But but you, you've done thingsto to get that country to a
place where it can supportitself, right?
So you start pulling back?
Yes, right, and that's natural.
That's what we should be doing.
That's the whole.
Goal is to help these littlehuman beings become adult human

(23:06):
beings that are productive yeahwhich means they can start doing
what we've done for them, right?
Yeah, now you're, you don'thave the joy of having a
daughter no, no that We've gotthree boys.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
It'd be, wow, it'd be different.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Boys and girls are very different.
I don't care what anybody says.
This isn't a sports thing, I'mkidding.
This isn't a sports thing.
This isn't a political thing.

Speaker 2 (23:43):
We can make it work.
It would be very easy.
This isn't a political thing.
We can make it work we can.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
It would be very easy .
But boys and girls are verydifferent.
So when I'm going through andmy wife and I we're working to
lead our daughter, she looks tous for a lot.
She wants to have our input.
She wants her mom's input.
Her best friend's her mom.
I remind her her all the timeI'm not her friend, yeah, but

(24:09):
her best friend is her mom, youknow I do that gently, yeah,
yeah, just, I don't even likeyou now, yeah right now with my
son.
I remind him all the time I'mnot his friend and I don't care
if I hurt his feelings, right,and and the difference with him.
So you've got this, you know,you've got this nation that
you're occupying and your, yourdesire is to pull back and and

(24:32):
to make a withdrawal and to doit, you know, in in a very
strategic and ordered fashion.
With boys, they start trying totake things earlier.
Yeah, they're like nope, thispart's mine get out.
Yeah, I'm claiming claiming yeah, I'm putting my flag right here
you don't touch this anymore,dad, and they try to do it too

(24:54):
soon.
Girls don't do that.
Yeah, in my, in my experienceand I'm not just talking about
with my daughter yeah, you knowthey'll.
They'll test waters in otherways, but they don't do that,
you know.
And boys do, and I know thatyou can vouch for that because
you've got three of them.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
I even you know it's funny because boys are like my
dog remo, so every now and thenhe and I have whom he loves
dearly, probably as much as mykids.
But my kids cost me money.
Remo makes me.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
But so every now and then we have to have this come
to Jesus moment Right, when hestarts stretching the boundaries
a little bit.
He doesn't want to necessarilycome to me when I call, or he
wants to, and he just gets ahard-headed streak of wanting to
kind of do his things and haveto reestablish like you don't

(25:54):
call the shots Baseline, yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
This is what we're doing.
Just get back to this and youknow, once we do that it's good.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
And I think boys are very similar in that, in that in
that over time they're going totry to stretch and see how far
they can get into you know theirown world, which I think is
natural and healthy.
It's good, yes, it's good.
I think where our job is is toset boundaries that they can

(26:22):
grow in but also are safe within.
I love what you said, jace, ofbeing able to let James have
room to skin his knee.
You're not hovering over him somuch that he can't go explore,
learn, experience some adversity, make mistakes, but you're not

(26:47):
going to let him go play on theyellow line in the road.
No, absolutely not, you know andso there are boundaries that
are healthy, that let them staketheir flag in places that they
should and then places wherethey shouldn't.
You know, you still draw thatline and say no, no, this is not
.
And you do it because you careabout them, because you want

(27:09):
them to develop into people whocan run their own household
their own family in a healthyway.

Speaker 1 (27:17):
And the way that you're going to see that right
now you know you've got two kidsthat are not good at
communicating because they'reyoung.
We have kids that are not goodat communicating because they're
stubborn and stupid.
So the way you're going to seesmall kids rebel to something

(27:41):
like that is it'll look likethey are throwing a temper
tantrum or something you knowthey'll.
They'll throw a toy or they'llum, they'll start crying or
something like that.
It's because they don't knowhow to verbally communicate
their emotions.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
They don't know how to express their emotions and
we're we're seeing that with,with james, and, honestly,
madeline started the other dayof of yeah, the girls are going
to start it sooner.
If you leave her in a situationshe doesn't want to be in,
she's going to let you know.
Yeah, but she's also a lot morevocal too.
But no, James is he's in thattwo to three is a very emotional

(28:16):
like not knowing how to controlemotions, Like he's upset so
he's going to throw something.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, or take a swing at you, right, I mean like
legit man I don't know that, butI'm just telling you, I, I
remember, yeah, I remember myoldest, like I learned quickly
that, like you know, spanking orsomething like that, which, if
you don't believe in spanking, Idon't care you're on, but you

(28:43):
know it's, it's necessary alittle like spanking him.
It didn't matter.
Yeah, like he was, he was justlike you want to do that about
me, bro, yeah, and and then likethere were times where I would
spank him and he'd swing at meand I'm like dude, like I know
you're three, but hey, I'mkidding.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
But he would, I mean like he, and.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
But what I learned with him was if you took
something away from him, oh mygosh, it was like you just
ruined his whole world.
And so having to learn how todiscipline each one different
and you know what gets theirattention and what doesn't, and
that kind of thing, I think itwas part of the whole learning
process and they were alldifferent.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
Oh, for sure, yeah.

Speaker 2 (29:27):
It's interesting with my 22-year-old now.
It's like I sort of wait andlet him come to me.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
That's where you're at.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
That's the season you're in right now.
He's a man.
Yep season you're in right now.
He's that he's.
He's a man yep.
Um, when he needs me, I'll lethim come to me and I'll do
whatever I can do to help um, myuh, 18 year old, who's about to
move out.
I'm a little more vocal.
In his life there's still timeswhere I'm like you better.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, yeah, get this straight, you know and see, and
you don't know when that's goingto change, yeah, like you
didn't know when that was goingto change for Dake.
You know that's where you arenow.
Yeah, and and, and.
You would have to really searchback through and figure out
okay, when did that transitionhappen, right, when did really?
When did that season change tocollege?
So he moved off for about ayear and then came back to

(30:25):
southern.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
That was when it changed a lot and we talked
probably every single day whilehe was at school and there were
a lot of questions and a lot ofstruggles and challenges he went
through during that um with mymiddle son, jackson, like
there's very few times that Ihave to be real firm with him.

(30:46):
He's just a good-heartednatured kid that he wants to do
right Now.
My 14-year-old Reed if you'veever met him, you understand
he's just hard-headed man.
He's just, he's just hardheaded.
And so he and I man like wewon't come to blows but it's

(31:07):
like he's a, he's another.
I got two redheads and um, manlike I'm like dude, I will not
the red out of your hair.
If you don't you know, and it'slike, just because he's just,
he's just wired that way, he'sgonna, he's gonna try to argue
with me.
If I say it's foggy outside,he's gonna be like, nah, dad,

(31:30):
that's just smoke.
And I'll be like, no, that'sfog.
And then he's gonna be like, no, dad, that's smoke.
I'm like you're a moron, youknow you're wrong, yeah and so,
but yeah it.
But.
But he's a lot of fun too, man,and and so they've all got
their own personalities.
But you know, he's so, he's funand um, but just hard-headed.

(31:54):
And he got that from his mom,of course, that's very sarcastic
I was about to say you got that100.
Definitely not me yeah and so um, but yeah, it's just different,
so yeah I love it.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
I mean, I really do.
I love the hard parts.
I love the fun parts.
You know, obviously everybodyloves the fun parts.
I love the hard parts.
I love looking back on thingsthat I prayed for for my kids
and then seeing that stuff,seeing the Lord answer prayers

(32:34):
and listen.
There have been numerous timeswhere he's answered prayers in
ways that I wasn't necessarilythinking he would, but I still I
see it as an answer prayerbecause he, he, he still
provided what I was hoping for,man, it was just way different
than I thought it was going tobe.

(32:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
And you know, the one thing as a parent to you can't
expect is perfection, like we'renot perfect, they're not going
to be but helping them learnthrough the bad choices as well,
and I think is super important,and um cause they're going to
make them.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
And.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
I think they, I think we help them grow into the
people that we want them tobecome, that the Lord wants them
to become, by helping themunderstand their bad choices as
much as them getting it rightall the time and that's
something that we've seen as ourboys have gotten older is all

(33:38):
right that wasn't a great choice.
Let's learn from it and we'renot gonna just harp on that as
far as we're gonna deal with itand that's gonna be it and y'all
keep talking, I'm gonna takehim out real quick okay and uh.
So yeah, that part's, um, thatpart's, you know, challenging,

(34:01):
because it kind of hurts yourheart when something doesn't go
the way you feel like it shouldwith them, but then having to
regroup and go okay, what do welearn from this, you know, is
super important so yeah, I thinkthe hard part too is like you.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
You see the the train wreck about to happen yeah and
you know the solution, butgiving them enough grace and and
distance to make that decisionon their own, and then, like
you're saying, kind of have adebrief afterwards like, hey,
probably could have done it thisway and it'd been a little
better.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
Um, and certainly not letting them walk off a cliff,
no, no, absolutely.
But like you, the great exampleis go skin your knee go run on
the asphalt and let them learnthat when you do fall and skin
your knee, I'm not going to bethere to just say I told you so

(35:00):
you can run to me not from meand I think that that's
important that they know if Imake a mistake I don't have to
run from.
Yeah, I can go to yeah, we uh,we uh.

Speaker 3 (35:14):
a 35 dollar slip and slide from walmart, uh, this
weekend.
So j, james and I, we weretasked.
Tara had some stuff she wasdoing Saturday morning, so James
and I went and got some stufffrom the great establishment of
Wally World.
Oh boy, that was an adventureall in itself.

(35:36):
But you have atwo-and-a-half-year-old in
Walmart.
It's just grabbing and tryingto get all the things.
He's the most mature personthere yeah, a thousand percent
and well dressed.
Oh my gosh.
Either way, we walk in therewith.
The goal was to find some formof slip and slide, something
that holds water.

(35:56):
Yeah and uh, we walk around, wego to the outdoor section, we
go, go to the actual outdoorgardening and where you would
think some outdoor equipmentwould be.
You ask someone that worksthere and they don't know where
anything is either.

(36:18):
So I ended up being in theseasonal and I get over there
and it's like the last slip andslide.
They got like one little kiddiepool and then like this, like
slip and slide, with a pool anda slide and a shoot nozzle
thingamajigger.
And while we're walking around,james picks up like a wiffle
ball bat and a ball because oneof the dogs chewed up one.

(36:39):
So we got him that.
But we got him this slip andslide and, um, we get it all
back to the house.
We had made a pit stop and gotsome worm and worms and crickets
too, because we wanted, wewanted to fish as well.
So I was like, all right, james,what?
What do you want to do?
Well, and he's like, well, Ithink I and he's this is in

(37:01):
James terms but he's like I waslike you want to slip and slide,
or you want to go catch somefish with worms and crickets?
And he's like, oh, hmm, wormsand crickets.
I said, all right, well, youwant to go fishing?
And then he'd like change hismind.
He's like he'd make his onworms and crickets.

(37:22):
And then he I think he lookedback at the, the little box with
the slip and slide, and he'slike no slip and slide.
So we get a slip and slide.
And it's funny, like when wefirst first busted out, like
he's you can see him testing,testing the water, literally,
yeah, um, and I mean by the endof the day, like he was like
tiptoeing in it, trying tofigure it out.
By the end of the day he's'srunning circles and doing
cannonballs, giving him like wewere talking about the freedom,

(37:47):
because there was a couple timeshe made some slips and it
looked like it hurt and he'dcome crying, but about five
minutes later he'd be back at itand figuring it out.
But it's just giving him that,not putting him on a leash, but
letting him kind of come and goand figure it out and do all
that stuff.
So it's fun.
It's a fun season for sure.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah, it's good stuff .
I've been reading a book.
It's written by a Christian guy.
It's not necessarily aChristian book, but the name of
the book is called Strength toStrength Christian book.
But the name of the book iscalled Strength to Strength and
it's about transition from sortof your earlier years in life to

(38:31):
how do you find successhappiness that kind of thing in
the second half of life, becauseI'm about to be 50 in October
and I'm kind of sensingtransition in my own life.
And so one of the things he saidwas he, he had either two or
three children.
And he said he sat down and hewrote out the three most

(38:51):
important things he wanted forhis children and he said like to
be honorable, or faith to behonorable.
And then there was somethingelse.
And so then he said how much ofmy time am I allotting to
invest in them so that thesethree things are actually true

(39:14):
of them?
And I thought that was like areally intentional, smart-wise,
intentional, smart, wise,whatever way of being able to
shape and mold your childreninto the people they should be
and what God wants them tobecome.

(39:34):
And I thought that was reallyinteresting.
And in that being able to moldthem that way, and in that being
able to mold them that way, theother thing and this is what
I'm sensing in a transition thatI'm in as I'm approaching 50 is
, you know, all my life I'vebeen what he would call a
striver.

(39:55):
You know, and I know you're thatway, you're that way where you
want to always build something.
You want to always.
You know you're always pushingwhere you want to always build
something you want to always.
You know you're always pushingfor the next thing and there's a
lot of research that shows mostof what you do as far as
achievement um actually comesfrom the work you do in your 20s

(40:19):
and 30s.
So sort of like the life workthat you accomplish may happen
in your 40s or 50s, but it's dueto what you did in your 20s and
30s, because that's when you'regaining knowledge.

(40:40):
And that's when you're gainingknowledge and that's when you're
experiencing things and as youbegin to shift from that.
You know and he said, ithappens as early as sometimes in
your late 30s, but especiallyby the time you're in your early
50s um, there's a lot ofresearch that supports that if
you're going to be successful inthe second half of your life,

(41:01):
you have to make a shift fromthe striver doer and gaining
knowledge.
Not you ever quit learningthat's not what he's saying but
to a place of more, like a sage,you're the one who is pouring
into other people who are whereyou?
are people who are where you areand that that's an important

(41:29):
transition to be able to make asyou get older in life, because
you begin to decline.
I mean it just.
It just is what it is and Idon't want to admit that any
more than anybody else.
But I know that the drive I hadwhen I was 25 is very different
than the drive I have at 50.
But I want to be able to spend.
I don't think it's the secondhalf of my life.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
I don't think I'm making it to 100.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
But I want to be able to spend these years making the
best investment I can, and I dobelieve that that is going to
be more investing in people thanit is investing in what I'm
putting my hands on as far aswork, you know, and so I think

(42:15):
that's an interesting transitionthat you're still quite a ways
away, for sure.
But as for you, and I like, andI know you're intentional with
the, the guys who work here inthe shop, like how do I pour
wisdom into them?
And being really intentional inmaking the transition of of
that it's it's me building or megaining knowledge, or me doing

(42:42):
to now, how do I invest in otherpeople so that they are able to
do what God wants them?

Speaker 1 (42:50):
to do.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
And I just thought that was a.
Really it was really helpfulfor me to help me understand
where.
I am you know, and the abilityto even take a little pressure
off of me from feeling like goshI'm, I'm kind of suck at my, at
what I'm doing in life, youknow, and but realizing, okay,

(43:13):
there's kind of a differentpurpose in my life now.
Um, not necessarily to drivethings as much as give wisdom on
how to do things.

Speaker 3 (43:26):
Yeah, you're no longer in the driver's seat per
se, you're in the passenger seatgiving directions.

Speaker 2 (43:31):
Yeah, I'm a backseat driver, Exactly.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
No, no, let's put you in the front seat.
I'd say at least let you be thenavigator, slash DJ.

Speaker 3 (43:40):
That's right yeah.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Because whoever's riding shotgun, your
responsibility is to make sureyou don't get lost and to play
good music.
Yep, if you can't do one ofthose things, get in the back
seat.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
And you've got to be able to use the Google machine
pretty effectively, becausethere's times where it's like
all right, where's a goodrestaurant.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
It's like well crap, I got three seconds to put that
together.
There you go, you just typefood, Food, yeah.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Food near me.
No, I think that's an awesomeperspective.
I'm not obviously in thatseason, but it's cool to hear
you talk about that and hashtaggoals.
You know what I mean.
That's something that we canjust looking forward to that
time.
But I don't want to cut thetime that I have right now short
because, like you're saying,like right now the groundwork is

(44:29):
being put in for the rewarddown the way.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
You know, and the reality is in your 20s and 30s,
and I agree with what you'resaying in your 20s and 30s,
you're laying a lot ofgroundwork.
You're laying a lot ofgroundwork.
You're laying a lot offoundations.
Listen, you might be doingsomething in your forties.
It is completely, altogetherdifferent than what you were
actually physically, tacticallydoing in your twenties and

(44:57):
thirties.
But that doesn't mean that whatyou went through in your
twenties and thirties didn'thelp you get to where you are
right now.

Speaker 2 (45:04):
It's not wasted, yeah .
So running a business in my 20sdid not.
It has only helped me lead achurch in my 30s, 40s and now
almost 50s.

Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
You know, it certainly didn't take away.
Oh, absolutely, it added valueto being able to do that.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, you got to learn a lot of things that
otherwise you were not going tolearn.
Yeah, you got to have thosestressful days and stressful
nights.
There's times when you werelike man, am I going to make
payroll this?

Speaker 2 (45:34):
week.

Speaker 1 (45:36):
I got this big job coming up but I hadn't been paid
for this last job.
But I got to get thesematerials ordered.
I got to figure out how I'mgoing to do this.
I'm gonna have to hire somebodyto go get that invoice paid.
You know, yeah, yeah, I have toget off somebody.
All right, easy, easy.
It wasn't that long ago, easy,easy, yeah, I mean.

(45:56):
But all all those things are,you know, build us to where
we're, where we're going, andhelp us get to that point.
You know the the sad thing thatI've noticed, and I know that
you guys have noticed this too.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Wisdom and age don't always go together.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Yeah, you know, and and you'll, you'll have this,
this older guy.
Just me saying that every oneof us thought about this older
guy, that we know that thewisdom hasn't followed.
Yeah, you know, and you look atit and you're like man, you know
what, what happened, where were, where was a, where was a
decision made or a series ofdecisions made where that wisdom

(46:34):
didn't come?
You know, and sometimes it'seasy to put your finger on it.
Sometimes it's not that easy toput your finger on it because,
um, you know it's, it's um, wecould be really good about
holding our cards really closeto our chest and people not know
what's really going on in yourlife.

(46:54):
Um, sometimes you just getdefeated by something and you
never overcome it, for whateverreason.
You know, you get hung up onthat thing and it becomes an
anchor in your life and you'reanchored to something that
happened 20 years ago, insteadof having your anchor in heaven,
where it's supposed to be.
You know, like what we'vetalked about, jace you've said

(47:14):
it several times this morningtalking about milestones and
these mile markers that we gothrough in life.
And as we're talking aboutgoing through transitions and
going through seasons seasons inparenting, seasons in marriage,
seasons in our careers, huntingseasons that we get to go
through there's all thesemarkers along the way that help

(47:36):
us become better if we willallow them to help us become
better.
The reality is it probably was aterrible situation.
The things that help us growthe most probably were not
comfortable.
Yeah, something that we didn'tenjoy, something that didn't
turn out exactly like we wantedit to.
Now it's easy to talk aboutthat from a hunting perspective.

(47:57):
I was Turkey hunting and thishappened and man, I just didn't
get that bird.
And I'm disappointed, you know,but we don't, we won't really
get hung up on that, that'sright.
But when something happens inlife that doesn't go the way we
wanted it to, we'll we'll letthat, we'll get really hung up
on that and we'll get chained toit?

Speaker 3 (48:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
You know, and and I think that's what will cause us
to our age is going to continueto grow.
If we're alive, we're going toget older.
That's just the way it works.
There's no way to stop thatclock.
I don't care what thecommercial says about what's in
that bottle that you can put onyour face or that you can put in
your body.
It's not stopping the clock.

(48:38):
That's right.
Okay Now, I think it's good tobe healthy.
I think it's good to be healthy.
I think it's good to do thingsto take care of your body, but
you're still gonna age.

Speaker 2 (48:46):
Your drive's still different today than it was when
you were 25.
Just like you're talking aboutyou can.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
You can nip it, tuck it, stuff it, whatever but, it's
, it's still gonna suck I meaneventually yeah, that's right,
that's so true yeah absolutelyVery vivid.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Yeah, but he shook it , he shook it.
You got me on that one.
You got me, I'll admit you gotme.
But how do we get to that pointwhere we identify those things
so, like in the book that youtalked about, Strength to

(49:25):
Strength, he gave very objectivethings to look at, right?
How do we get to that spotwhere we look at things in a
very objective way?
You know, one of the ways to dothat is to have people in your
life that are going to be numberone people in your life that

(49:46):
you're going to be transparentwith.
I don't mean very transparent.
You're either transparent oryou are not.
Okay, that's it.
So who do you have in your lifethat you're willing to share
things with that they're goingto help you go through it?
You've got to have that.

(50:08):
And I'm not talking about adozen people.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
I'm not talking about 30 people I'm talking about
like one or two, and he eventalks about that in the book.
He's like you've got to haveone, two, three people in your
life that you can be thatvulnerable, that vulnerable with
that um.
And he talks about theimportance of relationships
which I'm not a great relatelike, I'm relationally just

(50:34):
awkward in a lot of ways until Iget to know somebody.
But, like you, you have to havethose people.
There's just no way around it,like we're created for a
community and you can't I can'tbecome all that I'm supposed to
be without people and peoplecan't become all they're
supposed to be without me.
You know, it's like some people, you know, and so it's so true.

Speaker 3 (50:56):
And there's on the topic of transition, like those
people that we're talking aboutbeing transparent with and best
friends with and all thosethings those transition over
time too, like those change withseasons and kids and before
kids and then after kids and allthe things.

(51:19):
So being able to find your,your community, is super, super
important.
And uh, like I mentionedearlier with the small group,
we've got on wednesday, likewe've got kind of a mixed bag of
of guys that are kind of in theseason of uh not, or we got
single guys, we got guys thatare engaged and we got guys that

(51:40):
are engaged and we got guysthat are married and then we got
guys that are married with kids.
So we kind of got the wholespectrum.
But being able to kind of pourinto each other, even where you
are individually, really allowshaving that transparency or just
a time for us as guys to justtalk through being in the crap,

(52:06):
like I think for us.
I know for me I like to stufflike, I like to stuff the stress
or the whatever I've got.
I like to stuff it and I don'treally like to share it all the
time.
But having that, creating anenvironment to have that
opportunity to share, is superimportant and it's just good to
kind of work through that and,if you have, if we put ourselves

(52:30):
on the island thinking, well,this is something that I'm just
going through, whereas, likeyour brother in Christ across
the table, he just went throughthat six months ago or five
years ago.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Or five years ago.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
And he knows the end result.
But you don't see it becauseyou're in the thick of it.

Speaker 1 (52:47):
Well, and the other three guys that are you know.

Speaker 3 (52:50):
I don't even know, that's a thing.

Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yeah, yeah, the other three guys that haven't gotten
there yet.
They're watching.
They're watching, Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
So that was really cool.
We had a couple moments likethat last night, uh, in group
and it that those creating thosetype of environments or or um
experiences super, superimportant in this, in that
season.

Speaker 2 (53:14):
So, yeah, um, speaking like I'm actually
meeting with a, a friend of mine, who we've been through all
kinds of things together overthe last 25, 26 years, I'm
actually meeting with him today,oh cool, and just to talk
through some of the stuff thatI've been reading and just to

(53:37):
process and you know, what doesthis really look like?
Like I understand the concept,but what does this look like?
You know what is this?
What does this really look like?
Like I understand the concept,but what does this look like?
You know to to do this, and Ithink you know that's important
to be able to do.
The other thing you were talkingabout, john, is people who we
can think of, who just neverentered into that place of of

(53:58):
being the wise person who isable to give other people
insight.
I think some of that happensbecause we refuse to make the
transition, so we don't want togo from striver to mentor,

(54:19):
because we feel like we'relosing something or we're afraid
of what we'll lose.
Um, he talks a lot about beingafraid of losing respect, being
afraid of losing position, beingafraid of losing um sort of the
spotlight yeah, I mean we never.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
We don't want people messing with our cheese.
You know, yeah, yeah, yes, whostole my?
Who stole?
Yeah, you know that book?

Speaker 2 (54:42):
I remember reading that years ago and it's that
whole thing is.
You know, if we're not willingto make that transition, it is
going to affect our joy, youknow, and our purpose.
So, even more important.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
Yeah, I think it's.
It's another one of thosethings where you don't know when
it's going to happen.
You don't know when it's.
You know, you don't know when,when you're, when you're going
to transition from being the theyou know the primary driver to

(55:28):
supporting the group of primarydrivers.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
Yeah, um so, and and I I think it's I don't know, I
think it's just something thatwe should talk through, that we
should acknowledge that.
Hey, this is a thing you know,how do we, how do we position
ourselves to be in this place,where we're, you know, not just
hoping for growth, but we'reexpecting it to happen.
And I think being in a churchis so important because outside

(55:58):
of that community, I think it'sjust so easy to just be
floundering in the world.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Yeah, you just go through the motions for 75 years
.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
The world's just going to toss you around like a
ragdoll too.
I mean, there's no moralcompass, there's no true north,
so you're just going to bepulled in all the different
directions.
When y'all were just talking,thinking about transitions, it
really made me think about thedisciples.
Think about the disciples.

(56:32):
You had guys that were fishingand had Jesus come and say
follow me and drop what theywere doing.
Well, that morning they werefishermen.
Well, after that they droppedwhat they were doing and they
had a period of time there withJesus.
So they were in the transitionof from fishermen to now I'm,

(56:56):
I'm being discipled, I'mlearning from the creator.
Then you have we just hadeaster, you have the death and
the resurrection, and and nowyou have guys that over three
year period they were, they werelearning and they were being
poured into.
Well, now jesus has died and isthe right hand of God.
Now the Holy Spirit's come downand the deployment of hey, go

(57:18):
to make disciples of all nations.
So they went from fishermen toa season of learning and
discipleship.
And now, go make disciples ofall nations, go grow the church,
go make disciples of allnations, go grow the church.
And you look at that as aseasonality of they didn't know

(57:40):
what that was going to look likeif you asked them.
So I think we can look at theBible and how godly men took
that transition and how theyadjusted.
Did they make mistakes?
Absolutely, they're human.
And did they miss a?
Did they make mistakes?
Absolutely, they're human.
And where did they miss?
A lot of the things.
And we have a great perspectivebecause we can see it from a
30,000 foot view.
But I think there's times wherewe kick ourselves for not being

(58:04):
able to see the big picture.
But it's, it's okay.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
I think in the end.

Speaker 3 (58:07):
I think as long as we keep the main thing, the main
thing and we we focus on Christand know that he is lighting the
path before us.
We're going to have seasons ofdoubt or seasons of this and
that, but I think if we can lookat examples, it gives us
excitement for what is to comeand I think understanding too.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
Circumstances can change in a moment, transitions
happen over time.
So the circumstances for thedisciples when they were called
to become fishers of men andfollow Jesus, the circumstance
changed immediately, but thetransition from fishermen to you
know, fishers of men wassomething that took them three

(58:54):
years to really begin to evengrasp a little bit of.

Speaker 3 (58:58):
And even then, even until the end, I mean, they
still had no idea.
Jesus is telling them hey, I'mgoing to die.
And no, no no, no, no,Everything's good yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Yeah, they just couldn't get it Right.
So you've got that verse inJohn where it says Jesus wept
right and he's there to seeMartha and Mary and what's going
on with Lazarus.
Lazarus died and he's been deadfor four days and in the tomb

(59:29):
and he wept in that momentbecause all right.
So they sent word to him and hedelayed going.
He didn't go when they sent wordsaying he was sick, you know,
and he did that to help hisdisciples believe, and a lot of

(59:53):
others, a lot of other peoplethat were there he did it to.
He did it to put the, the, thewheels in motion to, you know,
lead to his crucifixion, um,because that that gave some
pretty um, um, some pretty firmfooting to the, to the Sanhedrin

(01:00:13):
that wanted torin, that wantedto take him out.
But he wept because, you know,just in my mind's eye, I picture
him looking at his disciplesand realizing that they don't
get it, at his disciples andrealizing that they don't get it
.
Everything I've said to themabout that.

(01:00:37):
I came into this world to paythe price.
You know they don't get it.
They still think I'm here tooverthrow Rome you know, and I
truly believe that's why hecried, that's why he wept, was
because he was overwhelmed withthe fact that he was trying to

(01:00:57):
help them understand and theirhuman flesh stayed in the way.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yeah, and I think that's the nature of any
transition as well.
Is we never see?

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
everything that's happening.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
So that's where I think, faith has to come in is
I'm going to trust in the midstof not fully understanding.
The meantime is the mostdifficult time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
And the benefit is it's not a blind faith, it's not
just some whimsical hope thatwe have Right.
So I read a story this week inDaniel so Nebuchadnezzar.
Um has these dreams and he'sbecome an insomniac.
He can't sleep anymore becausehis dreams have taken his sleep.
And so he calls all of hisChaldeans and magicians and all

(01:01:52):
these people before him and saysyou know, I want you to tell me
what in the world is my phonedoing?
I'm sorry.
I want you to tell me my dream,and then I want you to
interpret my dream for me.
Well, they couldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
You know, and I think I don't know if I don't know,
you know the, the dynamic, Idon't know the, the, the, the
relationship or the situation hehad with them or whatever, but
I don't think he fully trustedthem.
I think, he thought they werefull of crap, right Duh, yeah,
they were, and you know.
So they go back to him and saylisten, there's nobody that can

(01:02:28):
do this, only the gods knowlittle g.
Gods know the dreams of men,and gods don't live in men.
Gods are not flesh.
And then Daniel gets anaudience with the king and says
hey, if you'll give me untiltomorrow, I'll tell you what
this dream is andNebuchadnezzar's.

(01:02:51):
Like You're just stalling,you're not going to be able to
do this.
They'd already started killingthese guys Before Daniel gets
Before him, and then he reachesout his golden scepter and boops
Daniel and says Okay, I'll seeyou tomorrow, bro.
That's my version of how itwent.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
You don't find that in the text.
That's the John King.
You booped people.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Yeah, you booped people with the scepter.
That's a blessing Boop right.
And then Daniel goes and getshis.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Some I'm praying for, some I'm just going to like
You're so weird.

Speaker 1 (01:03:36):
Anyway, one of us is weird, we're all, we're all
weird.
Um, anyway, daniel goes andgets his closest friends and
says we have to pray and and godwill provide, god will show us
right, and the lord provided hisfaith was God's going to do
this, he's going to provide thisfor us.

(01:03:57):
And then he goes and meets withNebuchadnezzar the next day.
All right, hold on Before thatand this is in Daniel 2, you can
go and read it.
So he goes, they get togetherand they pray.
So they get together and theypray.
And then the next morningDaniel gets up and he knows what

(01:04:18):
the dream is.
He knows the interpretation ofthe dream.
He may have dreamed the exactsame dream.
I don't know how the Lord gaveit to him.
The first thing Daniel does ispraise God.
That's the first thing Danieldoes is praise God.
That's the first thing he does.
So I tell that story to say andthen he goes and tells

(01:04:39):
Nebuchadnezzar what the dream isand tells him the dream, and
then he interprets the dream andnone of it is good.
None of what he's getting readyto tell the king is good.
Now we're done with that partof the story.
Now let's look at how we applyit to our lives today.
How often or how good are we athaving true faith that God's

(01:05:01):
going to answer our prayer,right?
And then, when he does, howgood are we at immediately
praising him for it?
He does, how good are we atimmediately praising him for it?
Yeah, you know, I mean to me.
To me, wisdom doesn't come apartfrom that, you know.

(01:05:24):
It just doesn't If wisdom, allright.
So if we, if we go through lifeand we think everything that
we've done is is due to oureffort and and as results of
what we have put in and it's allus you're gaining no wisdom
through that, I'm just, I hateto break it to you, but we're

(01:05:44):
not going to gain any wisdomfrom that, right, you know,
because we think we got this,yeah, so if you think you got it
all the time, how in the worldare you going to grow?
You think you have no room forgrowth, Right?
So my base question there ishow do we put feet to our faith

(01:06:08):
and our belief and our hope andsay we can, we can trust god.
You know to do this, and I'mnot saying mama's sick, okay,
I'm gonna pray and god's gonnaheal her.
That is not what I'm saying,that's not what.
This is okay, but how do I havefaith in god and do so in a

(01:06:30):
tangible, real way?

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
I think some of it comes from life experience, like
God's proven himself faithfulover time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
And listen.
If you're not keeping a recordof that, if you're not keeping
up with it I mean, I don't knowabout you, but I forget stuff
really easily, right and if Idon't keep a record of what's
going on, what he's doing?
I'll give you an example,without sharing any names or any
details A couple years ago hadjust a terrible situation with a

(01:07:05):
person and it just wasn't good.
You know there was no part ofit that was good, everything
that surrounded it, and you knowthere was some anger on my part
.
You know I was pretty upsetabout how some things had shaken

(01:07:26):
out, and I was.
You know I had the opportunityto get hung up on that, right,
and I remember distinctlypraying God, I need you to
release me of this, I need toput this behind me.
And it wasn't a situation whereit was something that I was

(01:07:50):
going to get hung up on becauseof there being lasting
ramifications from it oranything like that.
It was just like a hurt I guesswould be the best way to put it
Like this person hurt me, Iwant to hurt them, right?
I mean that's kind of like ournatural tendency.
I mean truly the flesh.

(01:08:12):
That's the flesh's naturaltendency.
Somebody hurts me, I'm going tohurt them.
I don't know what it's going tolook like.
I don't know how I'm going todo it.
I don't know if I'm going tophysically hurt them or if I'm
going to verbally abuse them orgossip about them or whatever.
Do their Tesla, yeah, I mean allthese different ways that that
can manifest itself, right?

(01:08:32):
I distinctly remember prayingGod.
I want to forgive because Idon't want to be hung up on this
and I want the best for thisperson.
I don't wish ill against themBecause if I did, then I'm still
tied to that.
I'm still kind of watching okay, the other foot's going to drop
, I'm going to sit here andwatch this.
That's not a good place to that.

(01:08:53):
I'm still kind of watching Okay, the other foot's going to drop
, I'm going to sit here andwatch this.
That's not a good place to be.
You know and listen, I'm notcoming at this saying, boy, look
at how good I am, because I'mnot Okay.
Don't, don't misunderstand me.
I'm not saying I'm good and I'mwonderful and I did everything
the right way.
That's not who I am.
I am a sinner.
I fall short every single day.

(01:09:16):
I have to repent of somethingevery day.
Every day, I catch myself insomething and I have to repent
of it.
Yeah, all right.
So fast forward.
You know, two years.
I get a phone call from somebodyand, um, this guy, I know him,
but I I don't, I don't know himreally well, you.
He calls me.
He says, hey, john.
I said hey, man, how you doing?

(01:09:36):
He said you got a minute?
I said, yeah, sure, what'sgoing on?
He said I needed to call youand apologize to you.
I said, okay, what happened?
What are you apologizing for?
He said I cast judgment on youthat I shouldn't have.
I said okay.
I said you know.
He explained the situation.

(01:09:58):
Things were said and he believedthe things that were said, even
though we knew each other wellenough for him to know.
You know, yeah, that wasn't whoI was.
And he said I cast judgment onyou.
He said I said things about youI should have never said, and I

(01:10:19):
just want to apologize to youfor that.
And I'm like.
I said, man, listen.
I said I accept your apology, Iforgive you.
I don't know what was said, whatwas done.
I appreciate you reaching outto me and everything and um, and
that was part of what I askedgod to release me of because I

(01:10:40):
knew, because I knew thecharacter of the person, I knew
that there was going to be a lotof squawking, right, yep, I
knew that there was going to bethings said that probably were
not true, because when you dosomething wrong, you paint a
picture of how you didn't doanything wrong.
You know, because two years agoI said, god, I trust you to

(01:11:06):
handle this.
I'm not thinking about thisanymore.
But I can't do this unless youmove in and help me, because me
and my flesh.
I'm going to think about it,I'm going to dwell on it.
It's going to be a thought thatI have.
I'm going to be curious aboutit and I'm telling you I never
even thought about it anymore.
You know, outside of I'd prayfor the individual a little bit

(01:11:29):
because I truly do want the bestfor him.
I truly do want the best forhim and I would pray for him
every now and then, but that wasit.
And then to get that phone call, I'm like you know, I get off
the phone and I pull my journalout and I just write a praise to
God, thanking him for notthanking him for, you know, any

(01:11:54):
deterioration that's happenedbetween those two individuals,
because that's not my prayer, Idon't want that to happen, but
thanking him for going ahead ofme and protecting me, even
though it was two years later.
Later, you know, he pointed outthat.

(01:12:16):
You know he, he moved in thisperson's life enough to the
point where this guy calls andis like man.
I was wrong, you know, andthat's not natural.

Speaker 2 (01:12:24):
I was going to say that's that's not natural.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
I praise the Lord for the work that he's doing in his
life, not only for theprotection that he gave to me
answering my prayer from twoyears ago, but for the work that
he's doing in this individual'slife, because that was not a
natural thing for him to do,right?
So, and I say all that and I'llgo back to say you know, I'm

(01:12:46):
not perfect, I don't do thingsin a perfect way.
None of us do.
But how do we get to that placewhere?
we're going to becomeintentional about saying my hope
is in something that's real andalive, my faith is in truth,
and then put our feet to it.

(01:13:06):
It is critically important thatwe do that.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:13:12):
If that's not where our hope is, then we have none.

Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
Right.
I mean, if we do, it's fake,it's superficial, it's certainly
not something we would die for.
No, yeah, yeah, but anywaythat's good stuff.
Yeah, we'll kill it there.
Hope you guys enjoyed.
We got off cadence a little bitthis week, but it's okay.
This will post today so andwe'll get back on track for next

(01:13:39):
week.
So appreciate everybody.