May 4, 2025 • 19 mins
Hi This is Brad Weisman - Click Here to Send Me a Text Message
Trust is the invisible foundation upon which all meaningful relationships are built. But how do you establish it quickly, especially in professional settings where time is limited? This deeply personal exploration reveals why your knowledge and experience matter far less than your ability to connect authentically with others.
Drawing from 33 years in real estate and a childhood spent constantly relocating, I share the profound realization that changed my approach to business relationships: "My experience and knowledge is only as good as your trust in it." This simple truth explains why newer professionals sometimes win business over seasoned veterans—they may know less, but they've mastered the art of building trust.
The distinction between merely meeting someone and truly discovering them lies at the heart of meaningful connection. While we meet dozens of people daily—in elevators, at networking events, in grocery store aisles—discovery happens only when we approach others with spontaneous, authentic curiosity. It's not about running through a mental checklist of questions; it's about genuinely caring about the answers.
Different personality types require different trust-building approaches. An engineer might need precise data points before trusting your expertise, while an artist might connect through shared values and emotional resonance. Understanding these nuances allows you to customize your approach while remaining authentic.
The path to trust begins with consistent follow-through. Each time you deliver on a promise—whether arriving on time or completing a task by the deadline you set—you earn a "trust point." These accumulate over time, creating a foundation of reliability that's essential for deeper connection.
Have you been focusing too much on showcasing your knowledge rather than building genuine connections? Are you meeting people or truly discovering them? Let's explore how shifting your focus from experience to relationship-building might transform your personal and professional interactions.
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Welcome to The Brad Weisman Show, where we dive into the world of real estate, real life, and everything in between with your host, Brad Weisman! 🎙️ Join us for candid conversations, laughter, and a fresh take on the real world. Get ready to explore the ups and downs of life with a side of humor. From property to personality, we've got it all covered. Tune in, laugh along, and let's get real! 🏡🌟 #TheBradWeismanShow #RealEstateRealLife
Credits - The music for my podcast was written and performed by Jeff Miller.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, this is Brad Wiseman.
I'm gonna be doing something alittle different over the next
couple months.
It's not the Brad Wiseman show,it's not a real estate show.
It's gonna be just my thoughtsand experiences collectively
over the past well, pretty muchall my life.
There's things that I've beentold that are my superpowers.
(00:23):
There's things that I'vediscovered that I think are my
superpowers, and I wanted toshare them with you.
I wanted you to see my thoughts, hear my thoughts on this type
of level.
This is my first time doingthis.
I've never done a recordinglike this before, but it's
(00:43):
something that I'm excited about.
I'm excited about doing stufflike this more often, where I
share my feelings, my thoughts,my experiences, hoping that it's
going to help other people inwhatever they're dealing with in
life.
Maybe this will be helpful.
So the first topic that I'vebeen talking about for a while
(01:06):
and I've been bringing this upand I'm talking about writing a
book, and it hasn't happened yet.
Of course, I don't have a bookyet, but I wanted to share these
thoughts and see what theaudience thinks, or what you
think, to see if it's worthwhileto put this in a book, because
I'm not sure how many people aregoing to listen to what I'm
saying right now.
The main topic, or the two maintopics, let's just say, and
(01:28):
these are the things that I'mstruggling with with this book
is, you know, one is buildingrelationships and one is trust,
and obviously the two of thoseare very much related because,
you know, in order to get trust,you need to build relationships
.
And then there's things abouttrust that are interesting is
(01:49):
that you have long-term trustthat are like your parents, your
family, your brother, yoursister or a friend that you've
had since kindergarten.
Those are long-term trusts, sothey've been built for a very
long time.
If you want to look at it thisway, those type of trusts you
can probably either one of youcould screw up or do something
(02:12):
that maybe wasn't asintegrity-based, and you'll
still have them as your bestfriend, your mother, your father
, brother, and they will forgiveyou for that.
In any type of business orsales we don't have that type of
trust.
We have short-term trust orshort-term relationship building
(02:33):
, which is not the easiest to do.
It's definitely not, and it'sone of the things that I've been
told over my life that I havekind of if you want to call it a
superpower I think that wordgets thrown around too often
lately, but I have a way ofmeeting people, getting to know
(02:55):
them or discovering them, andthis is a thing that I've
written about.
Now, on this stuff that I'mgoing to be telling you is
there's two different thingswhen you meet a person.
The one is meeting the person,which is basically like you're
in an airport walking downthrough hey, how you doing, you
say hi, or you meet him comingout of the bathroom, or you meet
him whatever.
There's no questions back andforth, there's nothing.
(03:15):
It's just basically a meet.
Or you meet somebody at a party.
They say, hey, my name's Danand you shake their hand and
that's over.
Then there's the other part ofmeeting somebody, which I call
discovery and curiosity.
The discovery part is when youactually become curious about
that person, and that's how youbuild relationships.
(03:38):
So there's a quote I have, andthe quote is my experience and
or knowledge is only as good asyour trust in it.
That's a quote that I wrotedown May 8th 2019.
Don't know why, it just kind ofhit me and I think, from being
in business over the past 33years as a realtor, what I
(03:59):
noticed I have a lot ofexperience now in real estate
and what I've noticed is peopledon't always really care about
those 33 years.
And John Maxwell has a greatquote.
He said people will care whatyou know when they know that you
care.
And that's kind of where I'mgoing with this a little bit is
(04:22):
that you know people won'treally care about your
experience or trust there's thatword again trust your
experience until they you have arelationship with them or you
have, they have a reason totrust you, to trust you.
(04:47):
This is why we need to, assalespeople or in any situation,
is to build those relationshipsas fast as we can so that we
can have them trust us as fastas we can.
So here's more about that quote.
So my experience and end-worldknowledge is only as good as
your trust in it.
So here's where this goes.
I've been thinking about thatquote, coming up with more
realizations about that quote,and what I'm finding is it's
(05:09):
really interesting because it'sabout building rapport with your
clients in order for yourknowledge and experience to
actually mean something to them,which comes back to the word
trust in that quote.
So what you're saying doesn'tmean anything to them.
Your experience doesn't meananything to them because they
(05:31):
don't trust you okay.
So if you want your clients orcustomers to take in your
experience and your knowledge,you need to build that bond.
Connect with them and thenshare what you know.
Connect with them and thenshare what you know.
Show them you care and they'llcare what you know.
Back to the John Maxwell.
(05:55):
What's interesting about this isyour experience and knowledge
is not measured by how longyou've been in business.
It's measured by how muchyou're trusted by those that
receive it.
With that being said, this isthe reason that you could find a
new person in business.
A new person, a new realtor, anew salesperson, a new, whatever
it is that may have very littleknowledge but will win the
(06:19):
business of somebody before amore experienced person, because
the new person may be better atbuilding relationships,
therefore winning over thatcustomer's trust.
So right there, you couldactually be losing business,
losing customers, losing clients, because you never got good at
(06:40):
building relationships and trustin a short period of time.
To keep going on this, the newperson may have less to share,
but they've gained more trust.
They only have a little bit ofknowledge, but the client trusts
them.
So that's the reason they pickthem, because that means
relationships mean more to themin many situations than your
(07:03):
experience.
So if you have a ton moreexperience but no one trusts you
, what are you sharing?
It means nothing.
So if you think only learningsomething, only being book smart
, only being the mostexperienced and having the most
wisdom, you think that'severything that's going to get
(07:24):
you further in life, I think youshould question yourself on
that, because I don't thinkthat's exactly true.
So, furthermore, the realizationthat my experience and
knowledge doesn't change fromclient to client, but what does
change is the level of trust theclient has in my experience.
(07:44):
So my experience is always thesame.
My knowledge is pretty much thesame.
Yes, it's growing, I'm learningmore, all those things but the
thing that changes is the trustthat the current client has in
me, and that means certainpeople need to be treated
(08:06):
differently in order to gain thetrust.
Okay, and that's becausecertain people approve your
trust or approve yourinformation differently.
An engineer is going to bedifferent than an artist.
You know, an artist is going tobe more of the warm and fuzzy
person.
They're probably going to be alittle bit easier for my
(08:27):
personality to warm up to or forthem to trust me.
The engineer is not going to bemaybe as warm and fuzzy.
So you got to be a little bitmore about details, things like
that.
And then once they see thatyour numbers and your details
were correct, then that engineerwill start trusting you.
Okay, back to that again, therealization that my experience
(08:51):
and knowledge does not changefrom client to client.
But what does change is thelevel of trust the client has.
In my experience, that makesthe difference.
Trust is absolutely the mostimportant part of any
relationship the skill.
The skill is in building it.
Trying to rush trust can comeacross as fake or salesy.
(09:16):
So be careful with that, bevery careful with that.
So how do we gain trust fromanother?
How do we gain it?
What do we do?
We don't have the time that ourparents and our brothers and
sisters and friends fromkindergarten had to build that
trust.
We don't have that time, so wehave to get really good, really
good at fine-tuning ourrelationship building.
(09:38):
That's the part that gets to befun.
So one of the first things youcan do and these are the easy
things set expectations and thenfollow through.
If you say you're going to besomewhere at 9 am, be there, be
early, be there, bam.
That gives you a trust point.
Okay, but people want to seeyou do what you say you will do.
(09:59):
Repetition of this is whatbuilds more and more trust.
So keep setting thoseexpectations, following through,
and that will give you trustpoints.
Show that you've had challengesin life and share what worked
for you.
People want to know that youfailed.
People want to know that youare not perfect.
(10:20):
People want to know that you'vebeen through certain things
before.
Be vulnerable, open and caring,and that'll move you closer to
trust.
So you're going to ask me why dowe trust?
Why do we trust, or how do wetrust?
Who do we trust?
Where does it come from?
Well, it starts with ourparents.
(10:41):
They're the first people wetrust in most cases.
Starts with our parents.
They're the first people wetrust in most cases.
Not speaking for everybody, noteverybody has a relationship or
has, you know, been on the onthe good side of maybe parenting
their whole life or beingparented, but you know, for 99%
of the time, okay.
So the since the first day, ourparents have guided us.
(11:01):
What'd they say?
Don't touch the stove, it's hot.
We touch the stove becausethat's what we do, and they were
right.
It was hot, it hurt.
You may want to walk aroundinstead of jumping off that
landscape wall because you'regoing to get hurt.
You jump because that's what wedo and you get hurt.
(11:23):
Okay, so those two things ourparents told us at a young age
both of those things they toldus came true.
Those are trust points.
Now this happens 16, 17, 18years in a row.
Of course, there's a point inyour teenage years where you
know more than your parents, butthat's a different story there.
So this happens many, manytimes a day.
(11:46):
We learn to trust what theysaid until they became we become
teenagers and then they, like Isaid, we don't believe anything
, so we want to buildrelationships.
Now I'm going to tell you alittle bit about why I think I'm
good at building relationshipswould then ends up turning into
(12:07):
trust, and I think the mainreason I think I've been good at
building relationships andpeople say, oh my God, I feel
like I've known you forever.
And these are not things I'msaying to pat myself on the back
, it's just things you know.
There's things that we all havesomething we're good at.
Okay, these are the things thatI've learned over the years,
that I've heard from otherpeople because they've told me
(12:30):
that these are things that I'm,that I'm good at, and one of the
reasons I think I'm good at itis because of this I moved many
times as a kid.
Many, many times we moved around.
Oh man, we moved around a lot.
Let me just say we had let'sjust put it this way
(12:51):
Kindergarten I was at.
Our first school was at oneplace Okay, from there we moved,
and the next place was we movedback, I think with my
grandparents Okay, so actuallyno Grandparents.
I think with my grandparentsOkay.
So actually no grandparents,just born.
That's where we lived.
We moved to Moton, another town,doesn't really matter what the
town is.
It's the first house my parentsowned.
It was in government-ownedschools.
(13:12):
That's where we were Okay.
So from there we moved to TwinValley schools, another school
district, another home.
It was in, yeah, twin Valley.
It was in Plowville, actually,not to say this was a good time,
but I ended up we called itback then flunking first grade.
I couldn't read at a good level, so I had to watch all my
friends go to the next grade asI stayed behind.
(13:35):
Huge education in buildingrelationships.
If you want to buildrelationships or learn how to
build relationships, be heldback a grade when you're a kid.
So we then moved from there toConard Weiser, another school.
Okay, we at one point, beforewe moved there, we moved back to
my grandparents, which wasanother school, and then we
ended up at another house.
So I think it was one, two,three, four, five, six, seven
(13:58):
times we moved, plus I flunkedfirst grade.
I'll tell you what happens whenyou do that, when you move that
many times and, by the way,this is nothing against my
parents.
These were all reasons that wemoved.
We're good, we were buildingnew houses, found new homes, my
parents were improving our livesand our lifestyle, things like
that, and it was all good.
But we moved and I think whathappened all this moving around
(14:22):
to different houses anddifferent schools and different
neighborhoods?
It cultivated my skills atdiscovering new people, not just
meeting them, discovering them.
Curiosity is what happens whenwe discover people.
The curiosity is what helps usdiscover people, but it's
genuine curiosity.
It's not just asking a questionor how are you doing.
(14:45):
It's really kind of, you know,without being nosy, digging in
finding who they are, what makesthem tick, what makes them who
they are, laughing with them,asking them about their family,
you know.
So it forced me to put my handout first, introduce myself and
naturally interact with people.
(15:05):
The first time I met them asthough I've known them forever
because I knew, after movingseven times, I was good at that.
But I wasn't good at it rightaway.
You know, when I flunked firstgrade I remember bawling my eyes
out to my parents saying don't,don't, don't do this to me.
You know, all of your friendsgo ahead and you stay there and
(15:29):
it's not like you'll never seethose friends again.
They're moving one grade ahead,maybe one classroom different.
You know, moving to a school isdifferent, but moving, having
your friends move ahead of you,that was definitely some
character building, but to thegood.
I think it's what it really isthe foundation of me building
relationships and learning howto get along with people.
(15:51):
So there's a big differencebetween meeting somebody in
comparison to actuallydiscovering somebody.
We meet people all the time,like I said before, on a plane,
a mall, a grocery store.
That's not what we do when wediscover people.
We just want to be able to knowthe difference of that.
There's no depth in justmeeting somebody.
It goes no further than a hello.
But be careful not to treat allpeople that way In business, in
(16:17):
life.
It's good to know thedifference between meeting and
discovering.
Now, we can't discovereverybody, we wouldn't have time
.
But as discovering goes so muchdeeper, it shows you care, it
shows you're interested in them.
Now, of course, a major part ofdiscovering a person is
(16:39):
listening, not just hearing.
Listening Also, don't ask thequestion just to ask the
question.
Sincerity in discovering ofpeople comes from authentic
curiosity.
That's something that I feelthat you know.
I have a podcast called theBrad Wiseman Show and I think
you know I call it spontaneouscuriosity, but I love authentic
curiosity.
How about spontaneous,authentic curiosity?
(17:01):
We do that too, and I think youknow the reason.
What that means is you don'twant to just ask questions like
you're sitting there goingthrough a checklist.
Be curious.
It's so important to be curious.
Don't worry, curiosity onlykilled the cat.
It did not kill people, okay,so I think sometimes you know we
(17:22):
hear that curiosity killed thecat.
No, I, you know, I don't.
I'm not down with that.
That's a cat, it's not people.
Now, some people, yes, maybewill be tough to get to know,
and then you got to know when toback off.
Don't forget about eye contact,body language, sometimes
repeating back when they whenthey say something.
So that's about all I have forright now.
(17:44):
I wanted to just give this ashot to see if it's something
that people like.
Do you want to hear more abouttrust?
Do you want to hear more aboutbuilding relationships?
Do you want to know more aboutwhy it's important to be able to
build relationships?
Would you want to know aboutdiscovering your talents and
your gifts and what that means?
Those are other topics that Ihave.
(18:05):
I have topics about failure,all kinds of different things.
So let me know if this issomething that you enjoyed, and
if it is, I'll do more of it.
All right, thanks a lot.
Hi, this is Brad Wiseman.
I'm gonna be doing something alittle different over the next
couple months.
It's not the Brad Wiseman show,it's not a real estate show.
It's gonna be just my thoughtsand experiences collectively
over the past well, pretty muchall my life.
There's things that I've beentold that are my superpowers.
(00:23):
There's things that I'vediscovered that I think are my
superpowers, and I wanted toshare them with you.
I wanted you to see my thoughts, hear my thoughts on this type
of level.
This is my first time doingthis.
I've never done a recordinglike this before, but it's
(00:43):
something that I'm excited about.
I'm excited about doing stufflike this more often, where I
share my feelings, my thoughts,my experiences, hoping that it's
going to help other people inwhatever they're dealing with in
life.
Maybe this will be helpful.
So the first topic that I'vebeen talking about for a while
(01:06):
and I've been bringing this upand I'm talking about writing a
book, and it hasn't happened yet.
Of course, I don't have a bookyet, but I wanted to share these
thoughts and see what theaudience thinks, or what you
think, to see if it's worthwhileto put this in a book, because
I'm not sure how many people aregoing to listen to what I'm
saying right now.
The main topic, or the two maintopics, let's just say, and
(01:28):
these are the things that I'mstruggling with with this book
is, you know, one is buildingrelationships and one is trust,
and obviously the two of thoseare very much related because,
you know, in order to get trust,you need to build relationships
.
And then there's things abouttrust that are interesting is
(01:49):
that you have long-term trustthat are like your parents, your
family, your brother, yoursister or a friend that you've
had since kindergarten.
Those are long-term trusts, sothey've been built for a very
long time.
If you want to look at it thisway, those type of trusts you
can probably either one of youcould screw up or do something
(02:12):
that maybe wasn't asintegrity-based, and you'll
still have them as your bestfriend, your mother, your father
, brother, and they will forgiveyou for that.
In any type of business orsales we don't have that type of
trust.
We have short-term trust orshort-term relationship building
(02:33):
, which is not the easiest to do.
It's definitely not, and it'sone of the things that I've been
told over my life that I havekind of if you want to call it a
superpower I think that wordgets thrown around too often
lately, but I have a way ofmeeting people, getting to know
(02:55):
them or discovering them, andthis is a thing that I've
written about.
Now, on this stuff that I'mgoing to be telling you is
there's two different thingswhen you meet a person.
The one is meeting the person,which is basically like you're
in an airport walking downthrough hey, how you doing, you
say hi, or you meet him comingout of the bathroom, or you meet
him whatever.
There's no questions back andforth, there's nothing.
(03:15):
It's just basically a meet.
Or you meet somebody at a party.
They say, hey, my name's Danand you shake their hand and
that's over.
Then there's the other part ofmeeting somebody, which I call
discovery and curiosity.
The discovery part is when youactually become curious about
that person, and that's how youbuild relationships.
(03:38):
So there's a quote I have, andthe quote is my experience and
or knowledge is only as good asyour trust in it.
That's a quote that I wrotedown May 8th 2019.
Don't know why, it just kind ofhit me and I think, from being
in business over the past 33years as a realtor, what I
(03:59):
noticed I have a lot ofexperience now in real estate
and what I've noticed is peopledon't always really care about
those 33 years.
And John Maxwell has a greatquote.
He said people will care whatyou know when they know that you
care.
And that's kind of where I'mgoing with this a little bit is
(04:22):
that you know people won'treally care about your
experience or trust there's thatword again trust your
experience until they you have arelationship with them or you
have, they have a reason totrust you, to trust you.
(04:47):
This is why we need to, assalespeople or in any situation,
is to build those relationshipsas fast as we can so that we
can have them trust us as fastas we can.
So here's more about that quote.
So my experience and end-worldknowledge is only as good as
your trust in it.
So here's where this goes.
I've been thinking about thatquote, coming up with more
realizations about that quote,and what I'm finding is it's
(05:09):
really interesting because it'sabout building rapport with your
clients in order for yourknowledge and experience to
actually mean something to them,which comes back to the word
trust in that quote.
So what you're saying doesn'tmean anything to them.
Your experience doesn't meananything to them because they
(05:31):
don't trust you okay.
So if you want your clients orcustomers to take in your
experience and your knowledge,you need to build that bond.
Connect with them and thenshare what you know.
Connect with them and thenshare what you know.
Show them you care and they'llcare what you know.
Back to the John Maxwell.
(05:55):
What's interesting about this isyour experience and knowledge
is not measured by how longyou've been in business.
It's measured by how muchyou're trusted by those that
receive it.
With that being said, this isthe reason that you could find a
new person in business.
A new person, a new realtor, anew salesperson, a new, whatever
it is that may have very littleknowledge but will win the
(06:19):
business of somebody before amore experienced person, because
the new person may be better atbuilding relationships,
therefore winning over thatcustomer's trust.
So right there, you couldactually be losing business,
losing customers, losing clients, because you never got good at
(06:40):
building relationships and trustin a short period of time.
To keep going on this, the newperson may have less to share,
but they've gained more trust.
They only have a little bit ofknowledge, but the client trusts
them.
So that's the reason they pickthem, because that means
relationships mean more to themin many situations than your
(07:03):
experience.
So if you have a ton moreexperience but no one trusts you
, what are you sharing?
It means nothing.
So if you think only learningsomething, only being book smart
, only being the mostexperienced and having the most
wisdom, you think that'severything that's going to get
(07:24):
you further in life, I think youshould question yourself on
that, because I don't thinkthat's exactly true.
So, furthermore, the realizationthat my experience and
knowledge doesn't change fromclient to client, but what does
change is the level of trust theclient has in my experience.
(07:44):
So my experience is always thesame.
My knowledge is pretty much thesame.
Yes, it's growing, I'm learningmore, all those things but the
thing that changes is the trustthat the current client has in
me, and that means certainpeople need to be treated
(08:06):
differently in order to gain thetrust.
Okay, and that's becausecertain people approve your
trust or approve yourinformation differently.
An engineer is going to bedifferent than an artist.
You know, an artist is going tobe more of the warm and fuzzy
person.
They're probably going to be alittle bit easier for my
(08:27):
personality to warm up to or forthem to trust me.
The engineer is not going to bemaybe as warm and fuzzy.
So you got to be a little bitmore about details, things like
that.
And then once they see thatyour numbers and your details
were correct, then that engineerwill start trusting you.
Okay, back to that again, therealization that my experience
(08:51):
and knowledge does not changefrom client to client.
But what does change is thelevel of trust the client has.
In my experience, that makesthe difference.
Trust is absolutely the mostimportant part of any
relationship the skill.
The skill is in building it.
Trying to rush trust can comeacross as fake or salesy.
(09:16):
So be careful with that, bevery careful with that.
So how do we gain trust fromanother?
How do we gain it?
What do we do?
We don't have the time that ourparents and our brothers and
sisters and friends fromkindergarten had to build that
trust.
We don't have that time, so wehave to get really good, really
good at fine-tuning ourrelationship building.
(09:38):
That's the part that gets to befun.
So one of the first things youcan do and these are the easy
things set expectations and thenfollow through.
If you say you're going to besomewhere at 9 am, be there, be
early, be there, bam.
That gives you a trust point.
Okay, but people want to seeyou do what you say you will do.
(09:59):
Repetition of this is whatbuilds more and more trust.
So keep setting thoseexpectations, following through,
and that will give you trustpoints.
Show that you've had challengesin life and share what worked
for you.
People want to know that youfailed.
People want to know that youare not perfect.
(10:20):
People want to know that you'vebeen through certain things
before.
Be vulnerable, open and caring,and that'll move you closer to
trust.
So you're going to ask me why dowe trust?
Why do we trust, or how do wetrust?
Who do we trust?
Where does it come from?
Well, it starts with ourparents.
(10:41):
They're the first people wetrust in most cases.
Starts with our parents.
They're the first people wetrust in most cases.
Not speaking for everybody, noteverybody has a relationship or
has, you know, been on the onthe good side of maybe parenting
their whole life or beingparented, but you know, for 99%
of the time, okay.
So the since the first day, ourparents have guided us.
(11:01):
What'd they say?
Don't touch the stove, it's hot.
We touch the stove becausethat's what we do, and they were
right.
It was hot, it hurt.
You may want to walk aroundinstead of jumping off that
landscape wall because you'regoing to get hurt.
You jump because that's what wedo and you get hurt.
(11:23):
Okay, so those two things ourparents told us at a young age
both of those things they toldus came true.
Those are trust points.
Now this happens 16, 17, 18years in a row.
Of course, there's a point inyour teenage years where you
know more than your parents, butthat's a different story there.
So this happens many, manytimes a day.
(11:46):
We learn to trust what theysaid until they became we become
teenagers and then they, like Isaid, we don't believe anything
, so we want to buildrelationships.
Now I'm going to tell you alittle bit about why I think I'm
good at building relationshipswould then ends up turning into
(12:07):
trust, and I think the mainreason I think I've been good at
building relationships andpeople say, oh my God, I feel
like I've known you forever.
And these are not things I'msaying to pat myself on the back
, it's just things you know.
There's things that we all havesomething we're good at.
Okay, these are the things thatI've learned over the years,
that I've heard from otherpeople because they've told me
(12:30):
that these are things that I'm,that I'm good at, and one of the
reasons I think I'm good at itis because of this I moved many
times as a kid.
Many, many times we moved around.
Oh man, we moved around a lot.
Let me just say we had let'sjust put it this way
(12:51):
Kindergarten I was at.
Our first school was at oneplace Okay, from there we moved,
and the next place was we movedback, I think with my
grandparents Okay, so actuallyno Grandparents.
I think with my grandparentsOkay.
So actually no grandparents,just born.
That's where we lived.
We moved to Moton, another town,doesn't really matter what the
town is.
It's the first house my parentsowned.
It was in government-ownedschools.
(13:12):
That's where we were Okay.
So from there we moved to TwinValley schools, another school
district, another home.
It was in, yeah, twin Valley.
It was in Plowville, actually,not to say this was a good time,
but I ended up we called itback then flunking first grade.
I couldn't read at a good level, so I had to watch all my
friends go to the next grade asI stayed behind.
(13:35):
Huge education in buildingrelationships.
If you want to buildrelationships or learn how to
build relationships, be heldback a grade when you're a kid.
So we then moved from there toConard Weiser, another school.
Okay, we at one point, beforewe moved there, we moved back to
my grandparents, which wasanother school, and then we
ended up at another house.
So I think it was one, two,three, four, five, six, seven
(13:58):
times we moved, plus I flunkedfirst grade.
I'll tell you what happens whenyou do that, when you move that
many times and, by the way,this is nothing against my
parents.
These were all reasons that wemoved.
We're good, we were buildingnew houses, found new homes, my
parents were improving our livesand our lifestyle, things like
that, and it was all good.
But we moved and I think whathappened all this moving around
(14:22):
to different houses anddifferent schools and different
neighborhoods?
It cultivated my skills atdiscovering new people, not just
meeting them, discovering them.
Curiosity is what happens whenwe discover people.
The curiosity is what helps usdiscover people, but it's
genuine curiosity.
It's not just asking a questionor how are you doing.
(14:45):
It's really kind of, you know,without being nosy, digging in
finding who they are, what makesthem tick, what makes them who
they are, laughing with them,asking them about their family,
you know.
So it forced me to put my handout first, introduce myself and
naturally interact with people.
(15:05):
The first time I met them asthough I've known them forever
because I knew, after movingseven times, I was good at that.
But I wasn't good at it rightaway.
You know, when I flunked firstgrade I remember bawling my eyes
out to my parents saying don't,don't, don't do this to me.
You know, all of your friendsgo ahead and you stay there and
(15:29):
it's not like you'll never seethose friends again.
They're moving one grade ahead,maybe one classroom different.
You know, moving to a school isdifferent, but moving, having
your friends move ahead of you,that was definitely some
character building, but to thegood.
I think it's what it really isthe foundation of me building
relationships and learning howto get along with people.
(15:51):
So there's a big differencebetween meeting somebody in
comparison to actuallydiscovering somebody.
We meet people all the time,like I said before, on a plane,
a mall, a grocery store.
That's not what we do when wediscover people.
We just want to be able to knowthe difference of that.
There's no depth in justmeeting somebody.
It goes no further than a hello.
But be careful not to treat allpeople that way In business, in
(16:17):
life.
It's good to know thedifference between meeting and
discovering.
Now, we can't discovereverybody, we wouldn't have time
.
But as discovering goes so muchdeeper, it shows you care, it
shows you're interested in them.
Now, of course, a major part ofdiscovering a person is
(16:39):
listening, not just hearing.
Listening Also, don't ask thequestion just to ask the
question.
Sincerity in discovering ofpeople comes from authentic
curiosity.
That's something that I feelthat you know.
I have a podcast called theBrad Wiseman Show and I think
you know I call it spontaneouscuriosity, but I love authentic
curiosity.
How about spontaneous,authentic curiosity?
(17:01):
We do that too, and I think youknow the reason.
What that means is you don'twant to just ask questions like
you're sitting there goingthrough a checklist.
Be curious.
It's so important to be curious.
Don't worry, curiosity onlykilled the cat.
It did not kill people, okay,so I think sometimes you know we
(17:22):
hear that curiosity killed thecat.
No, I, you know, I don't.
I'm not down with that.
That's a cat, it's not people.
Now, some people, yes, maybewill be tough to get to know,
and then you got to know when toback off.
Don't forget about eye contact,body language, sometimes
repeating back when they whenthey say something.
So that's about all I have forright now.
(17:44):
I wanted to just give this ashot to see if it's something
that people like.
Do you want to hear more abouttrust?
Do you want to hear more aboutbuilding relationships?
Do you want to know more aboutwhy it's important to be able to
build relationships?
Would you want to know aboutdiscovering your talents and
your gifts and what that means?
Those are other topics that Ihave.
(18:05):
I have topics about failure,all kinds of different things.
So let me know if this issomething that you enjoyed, and
if it is, I'll do more of it.
All right, thanks a lot.
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