May 29, 2025 • 37 mins
Hi This is Brad Weisman - Click Here to Send Me a Text Message
What happens when you reach the pinnacle of your career only to discover you've left behind everything that matters? In this raw and transformative conversation, Mat Lewczenko—Author of The Entrepreneur's Regret, performance coach, and regional growth director at EXP—reveals the dark side of entrepreneurial success that few talk about.
Matt shares his journey of climbing to what he calls "rock top"—when you've broken through the clouds of success only to find yourself alone, with thinner air and the sobering realization that everyone else seems happier than you. Despite recruiting 176 agents in a single year and earning national recognition within his company, Mat found himself unable to look in the mirror, disconnected from his family, and numbing himself just to reach emotional neutral.
The turning point came when his wife delivered five powerful words: "You don't get to do this." This confrontation launched Matt's development of the "Three L's Framework"—leadership, love, and life—that forms the backbone of his book "The Entrepreneur's Regret." Through practical insights like the T.I.M.E approach and brutally honest anecdotes, Mat demonstrates how entrepreneurs can be fully present in both business and family life without sacrificing either.
What makes this conversation particularly compelling is Mat's challenge to the dominant hustle culture narrative. "You can absolutely fund the life of your dreams and still have the people in it that you care the most about," he asserts, debunking the myth that success requires sacrificing your relationships, health, or emotional well-being.
For anyone who's ever felt torn between business growth and personal fulfillment, this episode offers both validation and a roadmap. As Mat points out, with entrepreneurs 46% more likely to divorce than other professions, the cost of imbalance is too high to ignore. Discover how to be "all in" where it matters, set boundaries that protect what's precious, and achieve success that feels meaningful when you're alone with your thoughts at night.
Ready to build success without regret? Grab Matt's book on Amazon and join his masterclass at noregretslive.com to transform your approach to business and life.
---
Welcome to The Brad Weisman Show, where we dive into the world of real estate, real life, and everything in between with your host, Brad Weisman! 🎙️ Join us for candid conversations, laughter, and a fresh take on the real world. Get ready to explore the ups and downs of life with a side of humor. From property to personality, we've got it all covered. Tune in, laugh along, and let's get real! 🏡🌟 #TheBradWeismanShow #RealEstateRealLife
Credits - The music for my podcast was written and performed by Jeff Miller.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You can absolutely fund the life of your dreams and
then still have the people init that you care the most about
and look freaking good, and thenbe an emotionally regulated
human being.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
From real estate to the market as a whole, which
then sometimes will affect thereal life.
We all learn in different ways.
If you think about it, wayneDyer might not attract everybody
, and everything in between.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Mission was really to help people just to reach their
full potential.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
The Brad Wiseman Show and now your host, brad Wiseman
.
All right, man, I'm excitedabout this show.
I have to say I know I say thata lot, but this is a guy that,
um, I was in.
I was in a class, or whateveryou want to call it in in KW or
in Keller Williams.
We call it bold.
It's a, a class that you takein order to be bold about your
(00:54):
business and to take yourbusiness to the next level, and
at the time this is seven yearsago this guy here was working,
uh, at KW, at Keller Williams,and always and he always stuck
in my mind We've stayed in touch.
He has now moved on to adifferent company.
He's now with EXP and he'sdoing great things.
He just wrote a book and when Isaw he wrote a book, I said you
know what you got to get on theshow here.
(01:15):
I would love to talk about yourbook, talk about what you're
doing, because he made a bigimpression on me when we took
this class called Bold, and Iwas just a great coach for that
class.
And I'm just going to bringthem all right now.
Matt lachenko, man, how are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I'm so good.
I'm so good.
This is so exciting for me.
I've been really waiting forthis.
I've been like man when bradgonna ask me on the show.
Like full circle that'shilarious, man.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Well, what's funny is I only charge him 50 to say
that hugo we normally charge 100for that.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
That's right.
Hold on.
I already said hugo, a muchdifferent number.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
This is this is a total switch oh my god, it's so
different.
So, yeah, so your, your yourtitle.
Author performance coach,keynote speaker, regional growth
director at exp.
I mean you're, you're and theauthor thing.
That's recent right.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I mean that that just happened, yeah, Just uh, just
this past February, uh, againalmost seven years in the making
as well.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Really that long Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeah, that's that seed was planted.
So, like I was taking boldwhile I was also learning to be
a bold coach, like I was alwaysin bold as a student, and it was
during step three.
Whenever you do the, the, the,it's the goal setting, and then
the, the, the, the walk withyour future self, etc.
And there was a, there was amoment where I was talking to my
future self and he said tellthe story yeah wow.
(02:35):
And I and I was like cool, whatstory.
Because everybody that I'veever like talked to in like
either the speaking space orlike the, the influencers and
the authors that I, I watch andI listen to that.
That resonate've ever liketalked to you in like either the
speaking space or like the, theinfluencers and the authors
that I, I watch and I listen tothat.
That resonate with me like theyall have like this hard story,
like foster family, drugs, likeall, like all of these horrible
(02:56):
things, and I was like I don'thave that like I'm, my life has
been so mid and like pretty,like average and like kind of
privileged and like what storydo I have?
um, and so like it just wasalways in the back of my mind.
And then, uh, just this pastyear was like I always, I always
share, like be careful what youput out into the universe,
because god's listening, andlike you're ready.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, you're so true it is funny, though, what you
say about that with the whole.
Like you know, you do read someof these books and you're like,
oh man, man, this person'sreally had it bad, you know, and
you know, and you feel bad forthem at the time.
And then they come through withthese just amazing stories and
and, uh, you know it's, it's,it's pretty, pretty amazing.
But I'm reading some of thenotes on your book that were on
Amazon and some of the stuff.
(03:38):
As soon as I started reading itI'm like, oh my gosh, matt went
through something with thisMatt he's had.
And it says for your book it'scalled the Entrepreneur's Regret
, which right away you'resitting there going.
Okay, that hits home.
I get it.
Obviously, no matter what, whenyou succeed, it's not like we
all get to a place of success ora place or a goal and we go.
(03:59):
I have no regrets at all, nopeople.
Sometimes you're hurt along theway or there's things that you
don't do, that maybe you weren'tso proud of, and those things
are real.
I think a lot of times thatdoesn't get told.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And it seems like that's what this is about.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Yeah, so true.
Right, so true, so true.
So it says this this is the.
And then I want you to talkabout your book.
This is the.
And then I want you to talkabout your book.
This is the book your familywants you to read.
Awesome thing to say.
And then it says your businesscan grow, your family
relationships can, too.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I love that.
So tell me.
So tell me a little bit moreabout the book.
So I've been a coach and I'veworked with like high performing
entrepreneurs business owners,team leaders, brokerage owners
for the last 13 years, and I wasalways really good at helping
others see the greatness that Isaw in them and helping people
put together you know systemsand tactics and strategies to
(04:57):
continue to level up in life,and one of the things that I
kept also noticing was there wasalso a high cost in that, and I
started seeing firsthand in inthe entrepreneurial space.
I think there's a study thatshows that we're 46% more likely
to get divorced than any otherprofession out there in the
entrepreneurial space.
(05:17):
There's this fallacy that thatwe taught that I talk about in
the book, and it's it, it.
It simply it stems from thisand and I was guilty of this and
I've been, I've been privy to alot of seeing this as well is
that the very people that we saywe're doing this for, the first
ones that we sacrifice alongthe way on each level.
Yeah, right, and the thing is,is that one of the coaches that
(05:37):
I share with me is they'rethey're like you know, life when
you juggle has rubber balls andglass balls and you just got to
be really privy of the onesthat are glass and a rubber.
The rubber ones you can drop,the glass ones you can't yeah
and and so often, when we're aswe're building and we're growing
and we're creating this, thisworld that we think we desire,
oftentimes we forget or we getoverwhelmed, and sometimes those
(05:59):
glass balls drop and we get alot of grace from the people
that we care about the most.
Until we don't, and until it'stoo late and oftentimes it can
be too late or we take it forgranted for too long and it can
be irreparable.
So for a while I was just kindof noticing this and I never
really understood, like still,like up to this point, like I'm
(06:20):
still going back.
You know, five, six, four, five, six years, until about three
years ago, alex Ramosi I don'tknow if the listeners or
followers listen to Alex Ramosiand if you don't Alex and Layla
put out some of the best contentfor business ownership and
entrepreneurship out there.
Get in there, dive deep andlisten.
One of the things that heshares was something that I
(06:41):
never heard articulated this way, and he that everyone
understands what rock bottom is,but so many people are
suffering from rock top and theydon't know it, oh man and I was
like and I was like oh, I waslike I don't like do people
swear on your podcast?
I'm gonna try yeah, you canswear, just the f-bomb probably
not so much, but you could sayshit, hell, damn, whatever yeah,
I was like, oh shit, right, solike, because here's the thing,
(07:01):
like I, literally, literally, Ijust got like so, covid, so I
was, I was literally living mydream as a bold coach.
It was, by far without a doubt,exactly where I was supposed to
be.
I was.
I really felt like I was makingan impact and living my purpose
.
And then COVID pulled it,pulled it off, pulled us off the
road.
I went from making over$400,000 a year to zero, isn't?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
that crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Right, and then and then.
So they did the best they couldand try to like pivot and go
digital et cetera.
But then we were yeah, like, thereason why I have great
lighting and a microphone isbecause, at bold, they forced us
all to like we were.
We were going to go like this,we were going to start doing
this and then, but that didn'tpan out and it couldn't provide
the life that we needed at themoment.
So I went back into leadershipand I just remember at that
(07:46):
moment going you know, if I'mgoing to do it, I need to see
what the next path is.
I really wasn't wanting to goback into leadership, and yet I
was.
I knew it, I was familiar withit, I was good with it.
And then that year I just I putmy head down, I put the pedal to
the metal and that year I hadhired over 176 agents.
I grew our office from three,70 to four, 60, uh, net 73,
(08:08):
number one recruiter in theregion, number 18 out of 832
offices nationwide.
I got to be on stage with MarkKing at mega camp and every
night when I came home Icouldn't look myself in the
(08:29):
mirror.
Oh, wow, I was going way toodeep into a beverage just to
even get to neutral, to where Icould even deal with myself.
My relationships at home werestarting to fall apart.
My family didn't want to bearound me.
My kids were really not.
They didn't care if I was homeor not and, like from outside,
looking in and on paper, I waswinning in every single category
and I was losing everything.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's amazing.
Yeah, and that, and that's notuncommon.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
No Well, but the thing is like.
So I just remember, like comingoff stage from family reunion
after achieving this milestonethat I thought was going to be
like that, like that was thething.
I just remember walking downthe hallway and all I could hear
is my own footsteps, and thenthe stage was continuing, the
show was going on.
I just remember going.
I'm absolutely alone in this,and so when we, when we talk
(09:14):
about being at rock top, it'slike when you go climbing that
mountain and when you finallybreak through that cloud layer
which you think, like on theother side of that's going to be
this amazing life that youpictured and desire, what I
discovered it was like I'm aloneand the air is thin, and then
what happened is I could see allthese other mountains and it
seemed like everybody else washaving a lot more fun than I was
(09:34):
.
Interesting.
The challenge is, is there'sonly one way off the mountain?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's down, back, down to the valley, yeah,
exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
And and it was just, it was really clear.
I mean, there was a momentwhere, you know, my wife and I
we were sitting on the frontporch and it was one of those
moments right where she just she, she's like what is what is
happening?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
yeah, and along along the way?
Were there something like?
Was there anything?
I mean, you guys are together,everything's good, but was there
?
Was there?
Was there other moments whereyou're sitting there, going you
know what?
I wonder, if this bothers her,is this, is the?
Are the kids?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
bothered.
Yeah, no, I mean it's not likeit just happened one day.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's this.
Had to be some stuff happeningover time everything in life is
like a hockey stick it's gradual, it's gradual, it's it's nobody
, nobody goes bankrupt from onedecision.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's gradual and then sudden, and then relationships
break gradually and thensuddenly, and then it seems like
out of nowhere, right, and sothis was just, uh, it was just
finally just a culmination, andI was just really, really
struggling and then she justsaid she, she, I, just this was
for me one of the biggestmoments, and what saved me was
the fact that at my lowest, shecame and was the strongest I've
(10:47):
ever seen.
Oh wow.
And she, basically she lookedme dead in the eye and she goes
you don't get to do this fix itwow that's pretty like just dead
in the eye.
She goes fix your shit, wow fixit.
And then I was like all rightand and then I just go, okay,
(11:07):
I'm going to go back into thewood shop, I'm going to go into
the tool shed, I'm going to get.
You know, I we were already inindividual therapy, couple
therapy, like I was.
I'm all about coaching and youcan call, like everyone gets
weird about therapy.
But I'm like let's just startcoach, it's my coach, my family
coach, right, it's just coaching.
Right, we pay for coaching allthe time.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
It's something to see , something you don't.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Correct, yeah, and so I just remember going okay, I'm
all in and we're going to fixit.
However, I I'm going todocument this process and I'm
not going to let this sufferinggo without helping somebody else
, because my story is going tobe somebody else's survival
guide.
There's a family out there thatdoesn't have to experience what
(11:48):
I just experienced.
There's there's there's somekids, there's a wife and a
husband that don't have to dothis, and that was the goal.
And so, for me, the goal of thestory was simply that, like I'm
done, like I'm like, I can helpyou increase your net worth.
I can help you increase yournet revenue and your gross
income, but for me, that's nolonger the case.
I'm here to.
I'm here to save families.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Wow, that's cool, very cool, that's awesome man,
it's really cool.
And and you know, and there'sso many people going through
that I mean I think I lost myfirst real serious relationship,
uh, from being a workaholic.
Um, you know, and I think youknow we throw that term around
and we laugh I'm a workaholic,but you know, I thought that I
think sometimes we think, asentrepreneurs and workaholics,
that everybody downline from usfamily, kids that all they care
(12:34):
about is is the money and or orbeing able to do the things that
they, that that you, you'reproviding for, and it's not
always the case.
I mean, a lot of times it's notthe case.
I think another thing that wetend to do as entrepreneurs, you
know, a lot of things in lifeare about building expectations
for what we're going to gothrough.
And I know when, when Susan andI did and I learned that from a
(12:56):
losing a relationship beforewith my wife now and kids is
that, um, when we went to do thecouple banker to Keller
Williams franchise and we boughtthe franchise, you know I sat
down and said to my wife at thetime and my wife is now my same
wife, not at the time, but itwas at that time my wife's going
to be like, wait, did we breakup?
Oh my God.
(13:16):
So.
But at that time I said to herI said you know, I built an
expectation I'm going to beworking until midnight again,
just so you know.
I mean, I'm going to be in theoffice till midnight.
It's going to be probably sevendays a week until we get this
company, you know, working andgoing and whatever.
And are you OK with that?
And I think sometimes asentrepreneurs we don't, we don't
(13:37):
set that expectation, we justexpect them to go along with the
ride because, oh, it's justwhat we want to do, you know.
So that's, it's interesting.
And there's a lot of thingswith the, with being an
entrepreneur, that we kind ofjust railroad through things.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yes, absolutely yes, the key premise inside all of
that.
So there's there's threeframeworks that I talk about
through the book and it's thethree L's, and it goes around
leadership, love and life.
And so leadership is around howyou show up in your work world,
right, and then the love isyour personal relationships, and
(14:17):
then life is your physical andyour mental health, about the
power of being present.
It's about being all in, andwhen you're all in in each of
these areas, you earn the rightto be in the other.
Otherwise there's guilt.
So the thing is, is that, like,just because you're at the
(14:37):
office for 10 hours, thequestion is how productive were
you?
Were you on task?
Did you stay loyal to yourcalendar?
Or were you just busy?
Did you play around and realtoryour face off all day?
But did you?
Or and did you not move theneedle?
Cause what happens is justbecause you're gone all day.
When you come home, if youdidn't do the activities to fill
(14:59):
the pipeline and you don't haveenough at bats or appointments
set, when you're home, guesswhat?
The phone's on and the fateit's facing up.
And when you're at dinner, yougot.
And when it rings, you got toanswer why?
Because you didn't do what youwere supposed to do when you
said you would.
So now you've got.
I don't know if you're like meor not.
My kids right now are 12 and 15.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, we got 10 and 13.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So I did an audit.
I get up at 530.
They get up 15 minutes beforethey got to go to school.
I see them for 10 minutesbefore and then they come home
at 330 to five.
They're deregulating from theirday over where they're at.
We make it a real priority tohave dinner together.
(15:44):
That's 30.
That's 35 or 40 minutes total,and then after that they don't
really want to be around us.
So I really like legit like Iagree.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Do you have a camera in our kitchen?
Do we have to hang out?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
no, and so the thing is it's like I have about 45
minutes a day to make an impactand make a difference and let
them feel loved, let them feelheard, let them be seen, like
and really engage with them.
And if I can't do that, man,you're failing at everything
(16:21):
Right.
So so there's that and like,and so I'm all in at work to
earn the right to be all in athome.
And then, when I'm all in athome and I'm really purposeful
with my kids, really purposefulwith my wife, I've earned also
the right to be very purposefulwith my physical and my mental
health.
I've got my activities and mygym and I've got my.
I play a lot of disc golf withthose guys, and so that's that's
(16:44):
my physical and my mentalhealth space.
The thing is is that self loveis selfish when you're not all
in in your other areas, and itshouldn't ever have to be that
way.
And so it's about presencebeing all in over presence,
cause there's a lot of peoplethat are there but they're not
there, they're disconnected,they're scrolling, they're in
(17:06):
their phone, they like, theyhave an earpiece in and somebody
says something like what, huh,what?
And I'm guilty of it, I'm notperfect.
That's why I had to write thebook, like I had to write the
book really as a manual for me,and yet that that's the thing
right.
So my, my mission is I workwith entrepreneurs and
entrepreneurial parents to gettheir nights and weekends back
(17:28):
through ruthless prioritizationand systems so they can actually
be present instead of having tobuy presents to show their kids
and family that they still lovethem.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, and a lot of it .
Do you think a lot of it's justbeing aware of it, you know, if
you're aware of your time too,and aware, I think a lot of
times people are not even awareof how they show up.
We talk about, yeah, we talkabout showing up yeah, awareness
is the first step.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Right, like, being aware that you have a problem is
the first step and then, butthen also getting, get like.
You have to get pissed offenough that the like, the status
quo, is no longer good enough.
Yeah, like, you have to makelike there there needs to be an
identity shift.
Yeah, around, okay, I can'tlike, just because this is what
I'm used to and this is whatI've developed and this is kind
(18:13):
of the routine that we're in.
It's not working.
Yeah, so it's going to bemanual for a minute.
It's going to feel a littledisingenuous or a little bit
rehearsed until it isn't Right.
And so the frameworks that Italk about in the book around
you know, leadership and loveand life, um, at first are, you
know, laborious and and kind ofyou know, until they're not.
(18:35):
But, like the thing is, this islike you can be genuinely
purposeful.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, I think awareness is huge and awareness
is the first step to change.
But then you got to make achoice to make some changes.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Right, Do you find?
Do you find that you stillbalance these things?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh, it's a nonstop counterbalance.
Is it like there's?
There is no balance.
I have to I like, I'mconstantly, I like, I'm
constantly, I like.
Have little alarms to askmyself are you all in?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, in each in each phase, in each, in each
(19:29):
no-transcript.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Here's something that you should do, like like
schedule some unscheduled timewith somebody that you love and
don't let them know until it'stime Right, like, just like some
cool little tasks to get you,like into a new mindset of
proactive and purposeful actionabout how to be more present.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Right, right.
Do you think?
Some people look at that and gothis is more mechanical, it
seems forced.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I'm sure they will.
I mean, I did, yeah, but likeso, like okay, so my daughter
suffers from like ADHD andanxiety and and before we were
able to really help regulate her, she was, she would, she would
go into these emotional spiralsand go and get like just
negativity and all this.
(20:18):
And then so like as a coach, asa mindset guy, I'm always like,
all right, let's hear it.
We got to jump in, we got to dolike flip, flip, change the way
you look at things.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You got to fix this.
We got to jump in, we got to dolike flip flip change the way
you look at things.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
We got to fix it, complaining garbage magnet, like
all the things.
And then yep and so, uh, Iwould, I would sit, so I would
be sitting in there with hercoach.
She would say, okay, like sowhen, when your daughter gets
into these things, like dad, howdo you do it?
I was like I'm gonna tell you,like it's a real challenge for
me.
And she goes, why?
And I was like, because I like,cause I'm a coach, I'm a
mindset guy, like I just I don'tlike sitting and living in the
(20:50):
negativity.
And she's like how's thatworking?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, that's pretty funny Coach.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, how's it work?
Are you ready to call a newplay?
And I'm like, yeah, she goesokay.
So maybe you can take a secondand sit with her when she's
feeling the most vulnerable andlet her know that it's okay to
feel the way that she's feeling,and when she's ready to come
out of the hole now you pick herup.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And I'm like okay, that goes against every instinct
I have.
So for me I have to gocompletely opposite in the way
that I'm wired in order to to bethere for my daughter the way
that she needs.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah.
Well, you said the way you'rewired.
You said the way you're wired.
Yeah, I mean so.
So at that moment, it's notabout how you're wired, because
she's wired differently right,Correct this whole thing.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Here's the thing If you only care about you, then
there is no regret.
So so true, yeah, absolutelyRight, if this book is
resonating with you, then it isabout others.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, regret is about others.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
You gotta be out of your, you gotta be come out of
yourself, and so it's going tobe unnatural for some, and so I
share some hacks like how toleverage chat, gpt to help, and
like some other store, someother stories around it.
And you know, on the especiallyon the relationship side, for
cause, for me, like I'm a highdriver, I'm a builder, I'm a
quick start, like I'm always,I'm out there messing things up
(22:24):
Like I'm taking risks, I lovegetting after it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's so hard for me to slow down.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And that's and, and so my life became symptomatic of
my inability to slow down, andso I was pushing the people away
that really needed their dadand not a coach.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Well, out of those three things, the three L's,
which one's the most challengingfor you?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
The, the relationships, yeah, yeah, the
love.
And so I had to create aframework and it's called for me
.
In our world, love is spelledtime, t, I, m, e and the T
stands for take a second anddisconnect.
And so, like there was a, therewas a moment that when I came,
like I was, I was on, a deal wasfalling apart and I was coming
through the door in the garageand I was just trying to keep it
(23:10):
together.
It was that commission was likereally mattered for that month
and like everything was on theline and I'm freaking out.
I had like the cold sweat.
I remember, coming through thedoor, my daughter was only about
five years old and she'srunning up like with this paper
in her hand daddy, daddy, daddy.
And I just was like I can'tstop.
And I look at my wife.
I was like please get, will youtake care of this?
(23:30):
And I go in the other room andand I and I get it settled down,
etc.
I come over and I come back andI think like hey, nothing,
nothing happened nothing's goingon and my daughter's gone and
my wife just comes to me, shegoes.
you, you just crushed her.
She waited all day.
She got an award at daycare andshe was so excited to tell you
(23:54):
and she was waiting all dayWhen's daddy coming, When's
daddy coming, When's daddycoming.
And the garage door opened andshe heard and she was ready to
share with you this thingbecause she knew you'd be so
proud because she won.
You messed up and I was like.
I was like, oh, I have a.
Now there's a hard and fastrule I never come through the
(24:15):
door on the phone.
Yeah that's good.
It's a, so I got to take asecond disconnect working from
home, it's a lot.
It's a it's a bigger challengeright.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So I've learned that too.
It's funny.
You know what I do.
I stay in the car and Ifinished the conversation in the
car.
I would go around and they'lllaugh at me because I'll be like
dad, you've been home for likefive minutes, what are you doing
?
Like I was still on a call.
I'd rather deal with it rightthere in the car on the way home
, and then that way, when I comein the door, like you said,
then I'm.
I'm not on the phone, I'mpresent.
At that moment I mean, yeah, Idon't, I it's just something
(24:47):
I've done.
I don't, I didn't do itpurposely.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
It yeah, yeah, cause I was leaving scorched earth.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, oh, I've done that too.
Believe me, I've done that manytimes.
Yeah, it's, it's and it's, youknow.
And then you do it and we don'teven think anything right at
that moment and, like you said,then you come back and you
realize what effect that you'vehad on somebody really really
care about you.
Let you love, yeah, it's, it'stough, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
That's.
That's a core memory for her.
Luckily, I share the story.
She's heard the story.
She goes.
I don't even remember that.
I'm like, okay, good, Thankgoodness, Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, right, right, we don't need more therapy,
thank goodness you know, justfrom that one.
So I'm just going to look atsome of my notes.
So anything else about the bookthat really stands out.
I love how you say it's thebook your family wants you to
(25:40):
read.
I mean that's such a great.
I don't think I've ever heardof something like that about a
book.
You know that a lot of times.
Entrepreneurs, I think we don'tthink we have these issues.
We don't think we have thesethings going on because we're so
we're so focused on just goingforward that we don't look here
and we don't look behind us,because in business they tell us
not to do that, but we haveroadkill back there.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's so that again I I balanced, but so there's
like this hustle culture that'sout there, that's real prevalent
.
You've got like your Gary V'sand there's there's even there's
even some coaches that are likeI'm up at three and I do these
and I don't go to sleep untilone and I only sleep for 90
minutes a day and I'm like nothanks.
(26:20):
No, like.
Here's the thing you can haveit all without risking it all.
You can absolutely fund thelife of your dreams and then
still have the people in it thatyou care the most about and
look freaking good and then bean emotionally regulated human
being.
Right Like you don't have to bean emotionally regulated human
being, right Like you don't haveto be an absolute asshole just
because your profile says I'm ahigh D.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
That's garbage.
Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's a super low EQ move, like it's just it's
garbage and you're a bully,right.
So there's people like they'vejust kind of normalized the
aggressiveness of what it takessometimes to be successful.
But it of normalized theaggressiveness of what it takes
sometimes to be successful.
But it doesn't takeaggressiveness, it takes
assertiveness and discipline andconsistency and just a
(27:05):
willingness to just continue tomove forward and look for more
people to serve and not morepeople to close or to hammer
Right.
So there's just there has to bea mindset shift around it.
Or to to hammer Right.
So there's just a there has tobe a mindset shift around it.
And the thing is is like sure,some people have to hustle for
12 hours because they reallyonly ever put in three hours
(27:26):
worth of effort in those 12hours Cause they're not being
all in.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, totally true Right.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Cause.
Think about how productive youare right before vacation.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Oh, yeah, we talk, yeah, we talk about that all the
time.
It's because you have to be,you have to be, and you know
that you need to get a certainamount of things done in a
certain amount of time in orderfor me, especially for me, to be
able to actually let go andactually relax on vacation, you
know.
So, I, I, yeah, totally.
So if you can do it for one day, you can do it together, you
can do it every day.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So, like if every day like so, think about it, Like
how important is your family,how important is your own
personal time.
You should treat it as as asyou do, vacation and you should
be so all in on your work togive you the freedom to
disconnect at home as well asyou do on the beach.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, absolutely, I agree, agree, a hundred percent.
I love to hear you.
You said your favorite quotewas was from henry ford and it
said uh, whether you think Ilove this quote, whether you
think you can or you think youcan't, you're right, you're
right, I mean that that is agreat quote.
I've heard it before.
Why is that your favorite?
Just because I mean it's, it'sso clear well.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
So for me, it was one of the the biggest shifts was
that, like, I have totalownership and control of my life
.
Right, and like the, thegraveyards are full of people
that still have unspent dreams.
Right like that, that there'sthere's, there's all these goals
that are just buried there.
Right, like what somebody saidis like the richest, the richest
land on earth.
Like there's there's millionsand billions of dollars worth of
(28:53):
untapped dreams, uh, thegraveyard.
And so I've always just believed.
I've just simply believed, ok,like, why not me?
Why not do it?
Right, like if, for anyone whoknows me like knows that I still
also deal with a lot ofimposter syndrome and judgment
as well.
And so, even just writing thisbook, my goal was to have.
(29:17):
I started the book a year and ahalf ago and my goal was to
have it out in six months, andit took me a year and a half.
Yeah, not because the processtook a year and a half, like I
was Sabbath, likeself-sabotaging myself, to even
release it, cause there's a,there's a really amazing like
this, this funny thing that youdiscover, like when writing the
book, is like, oh, noweveryone's going to read it and
(29:39):
have, like, they're going to getto form their own thoughts
around it.
Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I trustthis makes sense and maybe,
like I, I hope it helps well,yeah, because you're.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
you're sitting there going what made me the expert on
this, or what made me, butreally, it's your story, though,
and our stories tend to be socommon, believe it or not.
You know we tend to.
You know, darn well, I mean,how many people are reading this
book?
Oh, by the way, this is whatthe book looks like.
I just printed out the paper soyou could see it.
That's what the book looks like.
(30:11):
You know, there's other.
There's a lot of people there.
We go, there we go, oh, there'sthe field guide that you talked
about.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it goes it goes with it.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, so you, you know that there's a ton of
people are going to read thisand go.
Holy shit, this guy's in myhead.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Well, I hope so, I, I really trust so and and of
people.
I've had a really fun career sofar, but it's pretty prevalent.
It's definitely something thatwe're not talking enough about,
(30:45):
and I wish I had an interviewwith Leo Perea, the CEO of eXp,
and I quote him in the book he'sin the back as far as case
studies because he had shared apost as well that he's
absolutely ruthless about hisfamily time and he said I forget
what the time period was, butno one has.
(31:06):
He's not had dinner with anyoneother than his family for a
certain period of time and hegoes I don't care who you are,
like, wow, you get me.
You get me during businesshours, but my family, my
family's dinner.
I don't care who you are.
Like, you get me, you get meduring business hours, but you,
my family, my family's dinner.
I don't care who you flew inwith, whatever Right, and he's
exited some really big companiesand you know his, his circle is
(31:27):
pretty influential and he goes.
I have dinner with my family.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It's a.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
It's a it's a, it's a non-negotiable, and I'm like
that's cool, yeah.
So I asked him.
I said, is there any part ofwhat we talk about in this book?
If it were mentioned to you ortalked to you about before
having gone through what youwent through, would it have
resonated?
And he goes, I would like tosay so, but I'm not sure Right
(31:52):
Like, and so I know that there'ssome.
Sometimes we've got to feel thefeel the burn of the stove to
pull our hand away.
But sometimes the right story,said in the right way, can
resonate or be enough of awarning sign for someone to
course correct.
Yeah, I, I trust, I hope thatsomeone reading can, can see
themselves in some of these,some of these lessons and
anecdotes and pull that out andand make a different choice.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, right, yeah, absolutely no, that's cool.
And then, uh, so how's yourbicep doing?
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Oh, bro, is it the bruise?
Is the bruise going away?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I still see a little bit of it.
No, I saw it when that happened, when you, when you were on, so
it was a tour.
You tore your bicep right.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So it's yeah, it's partially torn in two spots, but
like it's still connected.
So I have range of motion andlike which I forget about it
until I have to move it acertain way and then it brings
me right to my kneesUnbelievable.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Just so real quick, my brother tore his bicep
completely off and actuallyended up in the back of his up
and on up in his shoulder uphere, and he was actually did it
from golfing.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
He was holding onto the golf cart and went down to
pick up the ball and it just, itjust snapped.
He said it's the mostexcruciating pain.
Yes, it's not awesome, would?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
not recommend.
That's pretty well, that's good.
I was thinking about tearing mybicep.
I'm glad that I talked to younow, so I, and my story is not
really glamorous either.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I mean, I was playing disc golf, I was I.
I just really threw it reallyhard.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Oh, you must have really threw it hard.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Well, I just I had an obstacle to my right and I
watched somebody break theirhand, hitting their hand off of
the tree, and I saw I watched itin a tournament and so I was
like in my mind, I was likedon't break your hand, bro.
So I went to throw and thenstop my hand at the same time
and it popped and it just, ohyeah, that's a good feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Thanks for for being on the show.
For one, I appreciate it.
The other thing is I want youto tell me where do we get the
book, where's like all yoursocials and things like that, so
people can find you and get intouch with you.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
You can find me anywhere on social media.
My Facebook, my Instagram isjust Matt dot left Schenko, um,
and then I I've got a.
We have a YouTube channel, theleveraged agent coaching, where
we have.
We have a podcast that we doevery Monday, wednesday, friday,
and it's you know.
We do mindset conversations onMonday, workshop Wednesday where
we go over tactics andstrategies, and then freestyle
(34:10):
Friday where anyone who jumps inon the call those calls are
nine to nine, thirty, centralAnyone can come on and they can
just log in.
If you go to the Facebook pageand look for leverage agent
coaching, you can join thatgroup.
It's open to all brands there'sno selling, there's no
recruiting on their periodwhatsoever.
It's just full value there.
Um amazoncom for the book andthen I'm doing like a three hour
(34:33):
masterclass deep dive on thecontents of the book, on May
28th, I believe.
I think that's when we'relaunching it and you can go and
sign up and register for it atno regrets, live dot com.
So just no, no regrets, livedot com.
Fill out the form.
There's, there's, there's noother funnel.
(34:53):
You're not going to be likeit's just to get registered for
the event.
Three hours going deep into thecontent, and there's some
bonuses that we'll be throwingout there as well.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Awesome man.
That's great.
So thanks for being on the show, man.
I really appreciate it Anytime.
That's awesome man.
All right, there we go, mattLachenko.
He is an author, performancecoach, keynote speaker, regional
director for EXP, theEntrepreneur's Regret.
There's all kinds of greatstuff in here.
You definitely have to check itout and check out all of his
(35:25):
socials and all the things he'sdoing.
You're going to love him.
He's awesome.
All right, that's about it.
Thanks for being here everyThursday at 7 pm.
All right, we're out of.
You can absolutely fund the life of your dreams and
then still have the people init that you care the most about
and look freaking good, and thenbe an emotionally regulated
human being.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
From real estate to the market as a whole, which
then sometimes will affect thereal life.
We all learn in different ways.
If you think about it, wayneDyer might not attract everybody
, and everything in between.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Mission was really to help people just to reach their
full potential.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
The Brad Wiseman Show and now your host, brad Wiseman
.
All right, man, I'm excitedabout this show.
I have to say I know I say thata lot, but this is a guy that,
um, I was in.
I was in a class, or whateveryou want to call it in in KW or
in Keller Williams.
We call it bold.
It's a, a class that you takein order to be bold about your
(00:54):
business and to take yourbusiness to the next level, and
at the time this is seven yearsago this guy here was working,
uh, at KW, at Keller Williams,and always and he always stuck
in my mind We've stayed in touch.
He has now moved on to adifferent company.
He's now with EXP and he'sdoing great things.
He just wrote a book and when Isaw he wrote a book, I said you
know what you got to get on theshow here.
(01:15):
I would love to talk about yourbook, talk about what you're
doing, because he made a bigimpression on me when we took
this class called Bold, and Iwas just a great coach for that
class.
And I'm just going to bringthem all right now.
Matt lachenko, man, how are youdoing?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I'm so good.
I'm so good.
This is so exciting for me.
I've been really waiting forthis.
I've been like man when bradgonna ask me on the show.
Like full circle that'shilarious, man.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Well, what's funny is I only charge him 50 to say
that hugo we normally charge 100for that.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
That's right.
Hold on.
I already said hugo, a muchdifferent number.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
This is this is a total switch oh my god, it's so
different.
So, yeah, so your, your yourtitle.
Author performance coach,keynote speaker, regional growth
director at exp.
I mean you're, you're and theauthor thing.
That's recent right.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
I mean that that just happened, yeah, Just uh, just
this past February, uh, againalmost seven years in the making
as well.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Really that long Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeah, that's that seed was planted.
So, like I was taking boldwhile I was also learning to be
a bold coach, like I was alwaysin bold as a student, and it was
during step three.
Whenever you do the, the, the,it's the goal setting, and then
the, the, the, the walk withyour future self, etc.
And there was a, there was amoment where I was talking to my
future self and he said tellthe story yeah wow.
(02:35):
And I and I was like cool, whatstory.
Because everybody that I'veever like talked to in like
either the speaking space orlike the, the influencers and
the authors that I, I watch andI listen to that.
That resonate've ever liketalked to you in like either the
speaking space or like the, theinfluencers and the authors
that I, I watch and I listen tothat.
That resonate with me like theyall have like this hard story,
like foster family, drugs, likeall, like all of these horrible
(02:56):
things, and I was like I don'thave that like I'm, my life has
been so mid and like pretty,like average and like kind of
privileged and like what storydo I have?
um, and so like it just wasalways in the back of my mind.
And then, uh, just this pastyear was like I always, I always
share, like be careful what youput out into the universe,
because god's listening, andlike you're ready.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, you're so true it is funny, though, what you
say about that with the whole.
Like you know, you do read someof these books and you're like,
oh man, man, this person'sreally had it bad, you know, and
you know, and you feel bad forthem at the time.
And then they come through withthese just amazing stories and
and, uh, you know it's, it's,it's pretty, pretty amazing.
But I'm reading some of thenotes on your book that were on
Amazon and some of the stuff.
(03:38):
As soon as I started reading itI'm like, oh my gosh, matt went
through something with thisMatt he's had.
And it says for your book it'scalled the Entrepreneur's Regret
, which right away you'resitting there going.
Okay, that hits home.
I get it.
Obviously, no matter what, whenyou succeed, it's not like we
all get to a place of success ora place or a goal and we go.
(03:59):
I have no regrets at all, nopeople.
Sometimes you're hurt along theway or there's things that you
don't do, that maybe you weren'tso proud of, and those things
are real.
I think a lot of times thatdoesn't get told.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
And it seems like that's what this is about.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Yeah, so true.
Right, so true, so true.
So it says this this is the.
And then I want you to talkabout your book.
This is the.
And then I want you to talkabout your book.
This is the book your familywants you to read.
Awesome thing to say.
And then it says your businesscan grow, your family
relationships can, too.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
I love that.
So tell me.
So tell me a little bit moreabout the book.
So I've been a coach and I'veworked with like high performing
entrepreneurs business owners,team leaders, brokerage owners
for the last 13 years, and I wasalways really good at helping
others see the greatness that Isaw in them and helping people
put together you know systemsand tactics and strategies to
(04:57):
continue to level up in life,and one of the things that I
kept also noticing was there wasalso a high cost in that, and I
started seeing firsthand in inthe entrepreneurial space.
I think there's a study thatshows that we're 46% more likely
to get divorced than any otherprofession out there in the
entrepreneurial space.
(05:17):
There's this fallacy that thatwe taught that I talk about in
the book, and it's it, it.
It simply it stems from thisand and I was guilty of this and
I've been, I've been privy to alot of seeing this as well is
that the very people that we saywe're doing this for, the first
ones that we sacrifice alongthe way on each level.
Yeah, right, and the thing is,is that one of the coaches that
(05:37):
I share with me is they'rethey're like you know, life when
you juggle has rubber balls andglass balls and you just got to
be really privy of the onesthat are glass and a rubber.
The rubber ones you can drop,the glass ones you can't yeah
and and so often, when we're aswe're building and we're growing
and we're creating this, thisworld that we think we desire,
oftentimes we forget or we getoverwhelmed, and sometimes those
(05:59):
glass balls drop and we get alot of grace from the people
that we care about the most.
Until we don't, and until it'stoo late and oftentimes it can
be too late or we take it forgranted for too long and it can
be irreparable.
So for a while I was just kindof noticing this and I never
really understood, like still,like up to this point, like I'm
(06:20):
still going back.
You know, five, six, four, five, six years, until about three
years ago, alex Ramosi I don'tknow if the listeners or
followers listen to Alex Ramosiand if you don't Alex and Layla
put out some of the best contentfor business ownership and
entrepreneurship out there.
Get in there, dive deep andlisten.
One of the things that heshares was something that I
(06:41):
never heard articulated this way, and he that everyone
understands what rock bottom is,but so many people are
suffering from rock top and theydon't know it, oh man and I was
like and I was like oh, I waslike I don't like do people
swear on your podcast?
I'm gonna try yeah, you canswear, just the f-bomb probably
not so much, but you could sayshit, hell, damn, whatever yeah,
I was like, oh shit, right, solike, because here's the thing,
(07:01):
like I, literally, literally, Ijust got like so, covid, so I
was, I was literally living mydream as a bold coach.
It was, by far without a doubt,exactly where I was supposed to
be.
I was.
I really felt like I was makingan impact and living my purpose
.
And then COVID pulled it,pulled it off, pulled us off the
road.
I went from making over$400,000 a year to zero, isn't?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
that crazy.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Right, and then and then.
So they did the best they couldand try to like pivot and go
digital et cetera.
But then we were yeah, like, thereason why I have great
lighting and a microphone isbecause, at bold, they forced us
all to like we were.
We were going to go like this,we were going to start doing
this and then, but that didn'tpan out and it couldn't provide
the life that we needed at themoment.
So I went back into leadershipand I just remember at that
(07:46):
moment going you know, if I'mgoing to do it, I need to see
what the next path is.
I really wasn't wanting to goback into leadership, and yet I
was.
I knew it, I was familiar withit, I was good with it.
And then that year I just I putmy head down, I put the pedal to
the metal and that year I hadhired over 176 agents.
I grew our office from three,70 to four, 60, uh, net 73,
(08:08):
number one recruiter in theregion, number 18 out of 832
offices nationwide.
I got to be on stage with MarkKing at mega camp and every
night when I came home Icouldn't look myself in the
(08:29):
mirror.
Oh, wow, I was going way toodeep into a beverage just to
even get to neutral, to where Icould even deal with myself.
My relationships at home werestarting to fall apart.
My family didn't want to bearound me.
My kids were really not.
They didn't care if I was homeor not and, like from outside,
looking in and on paper, I waswinning in every single category
and I was losing everything.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
That's amazing.
Yeah, and that, and that's notuncommon.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
No Well, but the thing is like.
So I just remember, like comingoff stage from family reunion
after achieving this milestonethat I thought was going to be
like that, like that was thething.
I just remember walking downthe hallway and all I could hear
is my own footsteps, and thenthe stage was continuing, the
show was going on.
I just remember going.
I'm absolutely alone in this,and so when we, when we talk
(09:14):
about being at rock top, it'slike when you go climbing that
mountain and when you finallybreak through that cloud layer
which you think, like on theother side of that's going to be
this amazing life that youpictured and desire, what I
discovered it was like I'm aloneand the air is thin, and then
what happened is I could see allthese other mountains and it
seemed like everybody else washaving a lot more fun than I was
(09:34):
.
Interesting.
The challenge is, is there'sonly one way off the mountain?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
That's down, back, down to the valley, yeah,
exactly.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
And and it was just, it was really clear.
I mean, there was a momentwhere, you know, my wife and I
we were sitting on the frontporch and it was one of those
moments right where she just she, she's like what is what is
happening?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
yeah, and along along the way?
Were there something like?
Was there anything?
I mean, you guys are together,everything's good, but was there
?
Was there?
Was there other moments whereyou're sitting there, going you
know what?
I wonder, if this bothers her,is this, is the?
Are the kids?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
bothered.
Yeah, no, I mean it's not likeit just happened one day.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It's this.
Had to be some stuff happeningover time everything in life is
like a hockey stick it's gradual, it's gradual, it's it's nobody
, nobody goes bankrupt from onedecision.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
It's gradual and then sudden, and then relationships
break gradually and thensuddenly, and then it seems like
out of nowhere, right, and sothis was just, uh, it was just
finally just a culmination, andI was just really, really
struggling and then she justsaid she, she, I, just this was
for me one of the biggestmoments, and what saved me was
the fact that at my lowest, shecame and was the strongest I've
(10:47):
ever seen.
Oh wow.
And she, basically she lookedme dead in the eye and she goes
you don't get to do this fix itwow that's pretty like just dead
in the eye.
She goes fix your shit, wow fixit.
And then I was like all rightand and then I just go, okay,
(11:07):
I'm going to go back into thewood shop, I'm going to go into
the tool shed, I'm going to get.
You know, I we were already inindividual therapy, couple
therapy, like I was.
I'm all about coaching and youcan call, like everyone gets
weird about therapy.
But I'm like let's just startcoach, it's my coach, my family
coach, right, it's just coaching.
Right, we pay for coaching allthe time.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
It's something to see , something you don't.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Correct, yeah, and so I just remember going okay, I'm
all in and we're going to fixit.
However, I I'm going todocument this process and I'm
not going to let this sufferinggo without helping somebody else
, because my story is going tobe somebody else's survival
guide.
There's a family out there thatdoesn't have to experience what
(11:48):
I just experienced.
There's there's there's somekids, there's a wife and a
husband that don't have to dothis, and that was the goal.
And so, for me, the goal of thestory was simply that, like I'm
done, like I'm like, I can helpyou increase your net worth.
I can help you increase yournet revenue and your gross
income, but for me, that's nolonger the case.
I'm here to.
I'm here to save families.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Wow, that's cool, very cool, that's awesome man,
it's really cool.
And and you know, and there'sso many people going through
that I mean I think I lost myfirst real serious relationship,
uh, from being a workaholic.
Um, you know, and I think youknow we throw that term around
and we laugh I'm a workaholic,but you know, I thought that I
think sometimes we think, asentrepreneurs and workaholics,
that everybody downline from usfamily, kids that all they care
(12:34):
about is is the money and or orbeing able to do the things that
they, that that you, you'reproviding for, and it's not
always the case.
I mean, a lot of times it's notthe case.
I think another thing that wetend to do as entrepreneurs, you
know, a lot of things in lifeare about building expectations
for what we're going to gothrough.
And I know when, when Susan andI did and I learned that from a
(12:56):
losing a relationship beforewith my wife now and kids is
that, um, when we went to do thecouple banker to Keller
Williams franchise and we boughtthe franchise, you know I sat
down and said to my wife at thetime and my wife is now my same
wife, not at the time, but itwas at that time my wife's going
to be like, wait, did we breakup?
Oh my God.
(13:16):
So.
But at that time I said to herI said you know, I built an
expectation I'm going to beworking until midnight again,
just so you know.
I mean, I'm going to be in theoffice till midnight.
It's going to be probably sevendays a week until we get this
company, you know, working andgoing and whatever.
And are you OK with that?
And I think sometimes asentrepreneurs we don't, we don't
(13:37):
set that expectation, we justexpect them to go along with the
ride because, oh, it's justwhat we want to do, you know.
So that's, it's interesting.
And there's a lot of thingswith the, with being an
entrepreneur, that we kind ofjust railroad through things.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Yes, absolutely yes, the key premise inside all of
that.
So there's there's threeframeworks that I talk about
through the book and it's thethree L's, and it goes around
leadership, love and life.
And so leadership is around howyou show up in your work world,
right, and then the love isyour personal relationships, and
(14:17):
then life is your physical andyour mental health, about the
power of being present.
It's about being all in, andwhen you're all in in each of
these areas, you earn the rightto be in the other.
Otherwise there's guilt.
So the thing is, is that, like,just because you're at the
(14:37):
office for 10 hours, thequestion is how productive were
you?
Were you on task?
Did you stay loyal to yourcalendar?
Or were you just busy?
Did you play around and realtoryour face off all day?
But did you?
Or and did you not move theneedle?
Cause what happens is justbecause you're gone all day.
When you come home, if youdidn't do the activities to fill
(14:59):
the pipeline and you don't haveenough at bats or appointments
set, when you're home, guesswhat?
The phone's on and the fateit's facing up.
And when you're at dinner, yougot.
And when it rings, you got toanswer why?
Because you didn't do what youwere supposed to do when you
said you would.
So now you've got.
I don't know if you're like meor not.
My kids right now are 12 and 15.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah, we got 10 and 13.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
So I did an audit.
I get up at 530.
They get up 15 minutes beforethey got to go to school.
I see them for 10 minutesbefore and then they come home
at 330 to five.
They're deregulating from theirday over where they're at.
We make it a real priority tohave dinner together.
(15:44):
That's 30.
That's 35 or 40 minutes total,and then after that they don't
really want to be around us.
So I really like legit like Iagree.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Do you have a camera in our kitchen?
Do we have to hang out?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
no, and so the thing is it's like I have about 45
minutes a day to make an impactand make a difference and let
them feel loved, let them feelheard, let them be seen, like
and really engage with them.
And if I can't do that, man,you're failing at everything
(16:21):
Right.
So so there's that and like,and so I'm all in at work to
earn the right to be all in athome.
And then, when I'm all in athome and I'm really purposeful
with my kids, really purposefulwith my wife, I've earned also
the right to be very purposefulwith my physical and my mental
health.
I've got my activities and mygym and I've got my.
I play a lot of disc golf withthose guys, and so that's that's
(16:44):
my physical and my mentalhealth space.
The thing is is that self loveis selfish when you're not all
in in your other areas, and itshouldn't ever have to be that
way.
And so it's about presencebeing all in over presence,
cause there's a lot of peoplethat are there but they're not
there, they're disconnected,they're scrolling, they're in
(17:06):
their phone, they like, theyhave an earpiece in and somebody
says something like what, huh,what?
And I'm guilty of it, I'm notperfect.
That's why I had to write thebook, like I had to write the
book really as a manual for me,and yet that that's the thing
right.
So my, my mission is I workwith entrepreneurs and
entrepreneurial parents to gettheir nights and weekends back
(17:28):
through ruthless prioritizationand systems so they can actually
be present instead of having tobuy presents to show their kids
and family that they still lovethem.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Yeah, and a lot of it .
Do you think a lot of it's justbeing aware of it, you know, if
you're aware of your time too,and aware, I think a lot of
times people are not even awareof how they show up.
We talk about, yeah, we talkabout showing up yeah, awareness
is the first step.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Right, like, being aware that you have a problem is
the first step and then, butthen also getting, get like.
You have to get pissed offenough that the like, the status
quo, is no longer good enough.
Yeah, like, you have to makelike there there needs to be an
identity shift.
Yeah, around, okay, I can'tlike, just because this is what
I'm used to and this is whatI've developed and this is kind
(18:13):
of the routine that we're in.
It's not working.
Yeah, so it's going to bemanual for a minute.
It's going to feel a littledisingenuous or a little bit
rehearsed until it isn't Right.
And so the frameworks that Italk about in the book around
you know, leadership and loveand life, um, at first are, you
know, laborious and and kind ofyou know, until they're not.
(18:35):
But, like the thing is, this islike you can be genuinely
purposeful.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, I think awareness is huge and awareness
is the first step to change.
But then you got to make achoice to make some changes.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Right, Do you find?
Do you find that you stillbalance these things?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Oh, it's a nonstop counterbalance.
Is it like there's?
There is no balance.
I have to I like, I'mconstantly, I like, I'm
constantly, I like.
Have little alarms to askmyself are you all in?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yeah, in each in each phase, in each, in each
(19:29):
no-transcript.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Here's something that you should do, like like
schedule some unscheduled timewith somebody that you love and
don't let them know until it'stime Right, like, just like some
cool little tasks to get you,like into a new mindset of
proactive and purposeful actionabout how to be more present.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
Right, right.
Do you think?
Some people look at that and gothis is more mechanical, it
seems forced.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
I'm sure they will.
I mean, I did, yeah, but likeso, like okay, so my daughter
suffers from like ADHD andanxiety and and before we were
able to really help regulate her, she was, she would, she would
go into these emotional spiralsand go and get like just
negativity and all this.
(20:18):
And then so like as a coach, asa mindset guy, I'm always like,
all right, let's hear it.
We got to jump in, we got to dolike flip, flip, change the way
you look at things.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
You got to fix this.
We got to jump in, we got to dolike flip flip change the way
you look at things.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
We got to fix it, complaining garbage magnet, like
all the things.
And then yep and so, uh, Iwould, I would sit, so I would
be sitting in there with hercoach.
She would say, okay, like sowhen, when your daughter gets
into these things, like dad, howdo you do it?
I was like I'm gonna tell you,like it's a real challenge for
me.
And she goes, why?
And I was like, because I like,cause I'm a coach, I'm a
mindset guy, like I just I don'tlike sitting and living in the
(20:50):
negativity.
And she's like how's thatworking?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, that's pretty funny Coach.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Yeah, how's it work?
Are you ready to call a newplay?
And I'm like, yeah, she goesokay.
So maybe you can take a secondand sit with her when she's
feeling the most vulnerable andlet her know that it's okay to
feel the way that she's feeling,and when she's ready to come
out of the hole now you pick herup.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
And I'm like okay, that goes against every instinct
I have.
So for me I have to gocompletely opposite in the way
that I'm wired in order to to bethere for my daughter the way
that she needs.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah.
Well, you said the way you'rewired.
You said the way you're wired.
Yeah, I mean so.
So at that moment, it's notabout how you're wired, because
she's wired differently right,Correct this whole thing.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Here's the thing If you only care about you, then
there is no regret.
So so true, yeah, absolutelyRight, if this book is
resonating with you, then it isabout others.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Yeah, regret is about others.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
You gotta be out of your, you gotta be come out of
yourself, and so it's going tobe unnatural for some, and so I
share some hacks like how toleverage chat, gpt to help, and
like some other store, someother stories around it.
And you know, on the especiallyon the relationship side, for
cause, for me, like I'm a highdriver, I'm a builder, I'm a
quick start, like I'm always,I'm out there messing things up
(22:24):
Like I'm taking risks, I lovegetting after it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's so hard for me to slow down.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
And that's and, and so my life became symptomatic of
my inability to slow down, andso I was pushing the people away
that really needed their dadand not a coach.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Well, out of those three things, the three L's,
which one's the most challengingfor you?
Speaker 1 (22:47):
The, the relationships, yeah, yeah, the
love.
And so I had to create aframework and it's called for me
.
In our world, love is spelledtime, t, I, m, e and the T
stands for take a second anddisconnect.
And so, like there was a, therewas a moment that when I came,
like I was, I was on, a deal wasfalling apart and I was coming
through the door in the garageand I was just trying to keep it
(23:10):
together.
It was that commission was likereally mattered for that month
and like everything was on theline and I'm freaking out.
I had like the cold sweat.
I remember, coming through thedoor, my daughter was only about
five years old and she'srunning up like with this paper
in her hand daddy, daddy, daddy.
And I just was like I can'tstop.
And I look at my wife.
I was like please get, will youtake care of this?
(23:30):
And I go in the other room andand I and I get it settled down,
etc.
I come over and I come back andI think like hey, nothing,
nothing happened nothing's goingon and my daughter's gone and
my wife just comes to me, shegoes.
you, you just crushed her.
She waited all day.
She got an award at daycare andshe was so excited to tell you
(23:54):
and she was waiting all dayWhen's daddy coming, When's
daddy coming, When's daddycoming.
And the garage door opened andshe heard and she was ready to
share with you this thingbecause she knew you'd be so
proud because she won.
You messed up and I was like.
I was like, oh, I have a.
Now there's a hard and fastrule I never come through the
(24:15):
door on the phone.
Yeah that's good.
It's a, so I got to take asecond disconnect working from
home, it's a lot.
It's a it's a bigger challengeright.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
So I've learned that too.
It's funny.
You know what I do.
I stay in the car and Ifinished the conversation in the
car.
I would go around and they'lllaugh at me because I'll be like
dad, you've been home for likefive minutes, what are you doing
?
Like I was still on a call.
I'd rather deal with it rightthere in the car on the way home
, and then that way, when I comein the door, like you said,
then I'm.
I'm not on the phone, I'mpresent.
At that moment I mean, yeah, Idon't, I it's just something
(24:47):
I've done.
I don't, I didn't do itpurposely.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
It yeah, yeah, cause I was leaving scorched earth.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Yeah, oh, I've done that too.
Believe me, I've done that manytimes.
Yeah, it's, it's and it's, youknow.
And then you do it and we don'teven think anything right at
that moment and, like you said,then you come back and you
realize what effect that you'vehad on somebody really really
care about you.
Let you love, yeah, it's, it'stough, it's tough.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
That's.
That's a core memory for her.
Luckily, I share the story.
She's heard the story.
She goes.
I don't even remember that.
I'm like, okay, good, Thankgoodness, Thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, right, right, we don't need more therapy,
thank goodness you know, justfrom that one.
So I'm just going to look atsome of my notes.
So anything else about the bookthat really stands out.
I love how you say it's thebook your family wants you to
(25:40):
read.
I mean that's such a great.
I don't think I've ever heardof something like that about a
book.
You know that a lot of times.
Entrepreneurs, I think we don'tthink we have these issues.
We don't think we have thesethings going on because we're so
we're so focused on just goingforward that we don't look here
and we don't look behind us,because in business they tell us
not to do that, but we haveroadkill back there.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
That's so that again I I balanced, but so there's
like this hustle culture that'sout there, that's real prevalent
.
You've got like your Gary V'sand there's there's even there's
even some coaches that are likeI'm up at three and I do these
and I don't go to sleep untilone and I only sleep for 90
minutes a day and I'm like nothanks.
(26:20):
No, like.
Here's the thing you can haveit all without risking it all.
You can absolutely fund thelife of your dreams and then
still have the people in it thatyou care the most about and
look freaking good and then bean emotionally regulated human
being.
Right Like you don't have to bean emotionally regulated human
being, right Like you don't haveto be an absolute asshole just
because your profile says I'm ahigh D.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
That's garbage.
Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
That's a super low EQ move, like it's just it's
garbage and you're a bully,right.
So there's people like they'vejust kind of normalized the
aggressiveness of what it takessometimes to be successful.
But it of normalized theaggressiveness of what it takes
sometimes to be successful.
But it doesn't takeaggressiveness, it takes
assertiveness and discipline andconsistency and just a
(27:05):
willingness to just continue tomove forward and look for more
people to serve and not morepeople to close or to hammer
Right.
So there's just there has to bea mindset shift around it.
Or to to hammer Right.
So there's just a there has tobe a mindset shift around it.
And the thing is is like sure,some people have to hustle for
12 hours because they reallyonly ever put in three hours
(27:26):
worth of effort in those 12hours Cause they're not being
all in.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, totally true Right.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Cause.
Think about how productive youare right before vacation.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Oh, yeah, we talk, yeah, we talk about that all the
time.
It's because you have to be,you have to be, and you know
that you need to get a certainamount of things done in a
certain amount of time in orderfor me, especially for me, to be
able to actually let go andactually relax on vacation, you
know.
So, I, I, yeah, totally.
So if you can do it for one day, you can do it together, you
can do it every day.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So, like if every day like so, think about it, Like
how important is your family,how important is your own
personal time.
You should treat it as as asyou do, vacation and you should
be so all in on your work togive you the freedom to
disconnect at home as well asyou do on the beach.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
Yeah, absolutely, I agree, agree, a hundred percent.
I love to hear you.
You said your favorite quotewas was from henry ford and it
said uh, whether you think Ilove this quote, whether you
think you can or you think youcan't, you're right, you're
right, I mean that that is agreat quote.
I've heard it before.
Why is that your favorite?
Just because I mean it's, it'sso clear well.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
So for me, it was one of the the biggest shifts was
that, like, I have totalownership and control of my life
.
Right, and like the, thegraveyards are full of people
that still have unspent dreams.
Right like that, that there'sthere's, there's all these goals
that are just buried there.
Right, like what somebody saidis like the richest, the richest
land on earth.
Like there's there's millionsand billions of dollars worth of
(28:53):
untapped dreams, uh, thegraveyard.
And so I've always just believed.
I've just simply believed, ok,like, why not me?
Why not do it?
Right, like if, for anyone whoknows me like knows that I still
also deal with a lot ofimposter syndrome and judgment
as well.
And so, even just writing thisbook, my goal was to have.
(29:17):
I started the book a year and ahalf ago and my goal was to
have it out in six months, andit took me a year and a half.
Yeah, not because the processtook a year and a half, like I
was Sabbath, likeself-sabotaging myself, to even
release it, cause there's a,there's a really amazing like
this, this funny thing that youdiscover, like when writing the
book, is like, oh, noweveryone's going to read it and
(29:39):
have, like, they're going to getto form their own thoughts
around it.
Yeah, and I'm like, oh, I trustthis makes sense and maybe,
like I, I hope it helps well,yeah, because you're.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
you're sitting there going what made me the expert on
this, or what made me, butreally, it's your story, though,
and our stories tend to be socommon, believe it or not.
You know we tend to.
You know, darn well, I mean,how many people are reading this
book?
Oh, by the way, this is whatthe book looks like.
I just printed out the paper soyou could see it.
That's what the book looks like.
(30:11):
You know, there's other.
There's a lot of people there.
We go, there we go, oh, there'sthe field guide that you talked
about.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, so it goes it goes with it.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yeah, so you, you know that there's a ton of
people are going to read thisand go.
Holy shit, this guy's in myhead.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Well, I hope so, I, I really trust so and and of
people.
I've had a really fun career sofar, but it's pretty prevalent.
It's definitely something thatwe're not talking enough about,
(30:45):
and I wish I had an interviewwith Leo Perea, the CEO of eXp,
and I quote him in the book he'sin the back as far as case
studies because he had shared apost as well that he's
absolutely ruthless about hisfamily time and he said I forget
what the time period was, butno one has.
(31:06):
He's not had dinner with anyoneother than his family for a
certain period of time and hegoes I don't care who you are,
like, wow, you get me.
You get me during businesshours, but my family, my
family's dinner.
I don't care who you are.
Like, you get me, you get meduring business hours, but you,
my family, my family's dinner.
I don't care who you flew inwith, whatever Right, and he's
exited some really big companiesand you know his, his circle is
(31:27):
pretty influential and he goes.
I have dinner with my family.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
It's a.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
It's a it's a, it's a non-negotiable, and I'm like
that's cool, yeah.
So I asked him.
I said, is there any part ofwhat we talk about in this book?
If it were mentioned to you ortalked to you about before
having gone through what youwent through, would it have
resonated?
And he goes, I would like tosay so, but I'm not sure Right
(31:52):
Like, and so I know that there'ssome.
Sometimes we've got to feel thefeel the burn of the stove to
pull our hand away.
But sometimes the right story,said in the right way, can
resonate or be enough of awarning sign for someone to
course correct.
Yeah, I, I trust, I hope thatsomeone reading can, can see
themselves in some of these,some of these lessons and
anecdotes and pull that out andand make a different choice.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, right, yeah, absolutely no, that's cool.
And then, uh, so how's yourbicep doing?
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Oh, bro, is it the bruise?
Is the bruise going away?
Speaker 2 (32:25):
I still see a little bit of it.
No, I saw it when that happened, when you, when you were on, so
it was a tour.
You tore your bicep right.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
So it's yeah, it's partially torn in two spots, but
like it's still connected.
So I have range of motion andlike which I forget about it
until I have to move it acertain way and then it brings
me right to my kneesUnbelievable.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Just so real quick, my brother tore his bicep
completely off and actuallyended up in the back of his up
and on up in his shoulder uphere, and he was actually did it
from golfing.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
He was holding onto the golf cart and went down to
pick up the ball and it just, itjust snapped.
He said it's the mostexcruciating pain.
Yes, it's not awesome, would?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
not recommend.
That's pretty well, that's good.
I was thinking about tearing mybicep.
I'm glad that I talked to younow, so I, and my story is not
really glamorous either.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
I mean, I was playing disc golf, I was I.
I just really threw it reallyhard.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Oh, you must have really threw it hard.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Well, I just I had an obstacle to my right and I
watched somebody break theirhand, hitting their hand off of
the tree, and I saw I watched itin a tournament and so I was
like in my mind, I was likedon't break your hand, bro.
So I went to throw and thenstop my hand at the same time
and it popped and it just, ohyeah, that's a good feeling.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Thanks for for being on the show.
For one, I appreciate it.
The other thing is I want youto tell me where do we get the
book, where's like all yoursocials and things like that, so
people can find you and get intouch with you.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
You can find me anywhere on social media.
My Facebook, my Instagram isjust Matt dot left Schenko, um,
and then I I've got a.
We have a YouTube channel, theleveraged agent coaching, where
we have.
We have a podcast that we doevery Monday, wednesday, friday,
and it's you know.
We do mindset conversations onMonday, workshop Wednesday where
we go over tactics andstrategies, and then freestyle
(34:10):
Friday where anyone who jumps inon the call those calls are
nine to nine, thirty, centralAnyone can come on and they can
just log in.
If you go to the Facebook pageand look for leverage agent
coaching, you can join thatgroup.
It's open to all brands there'sno selling, there's no
recruiting on their periodwhatsoever.
It's just full value there.
Um amazoncom for the book andthen I'm doing like a three hour
(34:33):
masterclass deep dive on thecontents of the book, on May
28th, I believe.
I think that's when we'relaunching it and you can go and
sign up and register for it atno regrets, live dot com.
So just no, no regrets, livedot com.
Fill out the form.
There's, there's, there's noother funnel.
(34:53):
You're not going to be likeit's just to get registered for
the event.
Three hours going deep into thecontent, and there's some
bonuses that we'll be throwingout there as well.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Awesome man.
That's great.
So thanks for being on the show, man.
I really appreciate it Anytime.
That's awesome man.
All right, there we go, mattLachenko.
He is an author, performancecoach, keynote speaker, regional
director for EXP, theEntrepreneur's Regret.
There's all kinds of greatstuff in here.
You definitely have to check itout and check out all of his
(35:25):
socials and all the things he'sdoing.
You're going to love him.
He's awesome.
All right, that's about it.
Thanks for being here everyThursday at 7 pm.
All right, we're out of.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com