From Cancel Culture to Kitchen Tables: A Parenting, Family Values, and Weight Loss Discussion with Matty Lansdown

Episode Transcript
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Dr. Amy Moore (00:31):
Hi, smart moms and dads.
I'm so glad you've joined usfor this unique episode with one
of our favorite returningguests, Maddie Lansdowne, the
real weight loss coach.
Maddie is a scientist turnnutritionist who helps women
finally step off the yo-yodieting roller coaster, teaching
them that diets fail notbecause people are lazy or

(00:52):
undisciplined, but because theroot causes of food struggles
are emotional and psychological.
Maddie's a new dad, so on thisepisode, Maddie turns the tables
and interviews us for someparenting advice.
Recording this episode the dayafter the assassination of
Charlie Kirk, we spend the firsthalf talking about how parents

(01:12):
can fundamentally change cultureat the dinner table by modeling
what it looks like to honorhumanity despite disagreements
and differences in opinions andbeliefs.
It's an honest and raw andimportant conversation, no
matter where you land on thepolitical spectrum.
Then we put Maddie in the guestchair and we ask him about

(01:34):
GLP1s for weight loss, and heschools us a little bit on the
psychology behind weight issuesand how that's the secret to
beating yo-yo dieting.
Now, those two topics seemworlds apart, but somehow we tie
it all back to parenting, andthat's part of the magic of
talking with Matty Lansdown andwhy we keep inviting him back.

(01:55):
So smart moms and dads, this isthe Brandy Moms podcast.
Hi Matty.

Matty Lansdown (02:01):
Hey! What's going on?

How are you?

Great.
How are you?

We're having a rough couple days.
Yeah.

Oh, is this Charlie Kirk related?

Yeah, I have so much respect for you for putting
a video out.

Um, thank you.

Yeah, I just made one too, so it'll go out here
in an hour or two when we'redone.
But um, yeah, I saw that thismorning and I thought to be on
the other side of the world umand to be impacted and and to be
sad for what that means for ourculture and our world and as

(02:41):
parents.
Um I just I appreciated seeingthat.

Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I mean, uh like obviously I'mnot in the the US and so I don't
understand the c complexitiesthat you know living there would
come with, but um but in we'rewe're a tiny country that
follows the USA.
Like the USA is our bigbrother.
We just do what we're told bythe USA, basically.
So the thing so a lot ofAustralians are really aware of

(03:09):
US politics for that reason.
Um, and so yeah, it was, Imean, you know, in this time of
crazy wokeism, whatever, it'snice to have a voice of reason.
And I didn't agree with 100% ofthe things that he said.
Um, and I think that's one ofthe issues.
Like, you know, this morning Iwoke up to DMs from people being

(03:30):
like, you know, attacking mefor supporting him, you know,
and like, I guess you're a Trumpsupporter, and I guess you're
this.
And I'm like, well, siloingpeople like that is part of the
problem.
Like, there is nuance andcontext in these conversations.
So anyway, it's um, it's yeah,it's just it's you know, for
having opinions on the internet,especially when you speak about

(03:53):
controversial topics, it feelslike a day of like just checking
yourself, you know, like, oh,should I be speaking less?
Should I be more safe about mylanguage?
Like, yeah, it's just not thatI'm talking about gun control or
religion or anything like youknow, that's super triggering
like that.
But sometimes I talk aboutvaccines, people get pretty

(04:13):
unhappy about that.

Sandy Zamalis (04:14):
Or they do.
Yeah, yeah, we we were talkingabout like I was actually having
the opposite feeling of that islike I operate in a way too
safe space.
Like, do I need to be morechallenging in my speech?

So yeah, I don't know, I don't know if you
agree, but so for I've had thepodcast going on seven years,
and every time I've had someonethat disagrees for whatever
reason, I invite them onto thepodcast.
Like, I'm like, let's have adebate.
Um, and multiple people thathave contacted me to be on the
podcast not knowing that Idisagree with them, I send them

(04:49):
a video back so they can pick upon my vibe and be like, oh,
Maddie's not out to d publiclydefame me.
And I'll say, Hey, look, I'mI'm not on the same page with a
lot of the stuff, but I stillwant you to come on the podcast
because I think debate isimportant.
And a hundred percent of themnever wrote back.
Um, and so I I think you know,we're all shouting into the void
on social media and having thisecho chamber created, but we

(05:13):
need like we need to sit downwith these people, you know, and
just like have conversationswith them because I I think
that's the only way forward.
Otherwise, we just get louderand louder and louder to our own
people, to our own followers.

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I I was talkingearlier.
The one of the best lessons mymom taught me was to be open to
all possibilities.
And um, while I have verystrong opinions, I have very
strong religious beliefs, verystrong political beliefs.
I can separate um otherpeople's perspectives from their

(05:49):
personhood, right?
And so I can still respect youand love you, even if I don't
agree with you.
And I think that's where thebreakdown is in this cancel
culture is yeah that it's anit's all or nothing black or
white thinking.

Yeah.

And it's just another form of insidious
bigotry, is what it is, is justthat aggressive intolerance of
beliefs and opinions that aredifferent than yours.
And we're killing people forit.

Yeah.
Yeah.

It's all so in the space where I sit as you
know, a psychologist and aparent educator, what do we need
to do differently?
I mean, this starts with us.
This starts at our dining roomtables and the conversations
that we're having and what ourkids hear us say to each other,
what words we're using to talkto them, how we talk about other

(06:40):
people.
If we're spewing vitriol at ourdining room table, then that's
what our kids think that we do.
Like that's what we're modelingthat.
And so we have to be able tosay, hey, we're gonna honor
humanity no matter what.
Right?
And we're gonna be curiousabout why people believe what
they believe.
And maybe we shouldn't be soingrained in our strong beliefs.

(07:02):
Maybe we should be open.
And even if we decide not tochange our minds, we can still
love you, even though you thinkdifferently than I do.
And if we're not having thoseconversations, then where are
kids and teens getting the ideathat it's okay to kill someone
because they disagree with them?

Yeah, I'm in the very early stages of being a
father.
Um, you know, and there was apart of that that connected with
the whole Charlie thinghappening.
Like these two young girls, Ithink they're both girls that
he's gotten growing up without afather.
But the the I was speaking tothis with a client who is, you
know, has grandchildren, um, andshe was talking about parenting

(07:44):
like a pyramid.
It's like you start with likebut the upside-down pyramid,
basically, is that like youstart with like strong
boundaries, strong limitations,and then you go the other way.
But the problem is we'vecreated this society where um
the parents generation before,so maybe my parents or the one
before that were raised soharshly that then the next
generation was raised with youcan be anything, do anything you

(08:07):
want, like um, and then and so,and this is the you know, the
woke victim mentality that we'vegot now, because they didn't
have those rules and structurein the beginning.
They were told they could beand do anything, only to
discover that the world wouldn'tlet them, and so they have
tantrums on the regular basis.
Um, and so I think as well,it's like getting back to um the

(08:30):
parents, like uh raisingchildren, not relying on
childcare and not relate relyingon teachers to rate doing do
the raising, and that that thenopens an economic conversation,
which is um, and there'sobviously lots of good things
about feminism and women in theworkforce, and I definitely
think that's fantastic, butthere's a fallout, and the
fallout is that the schoolraises your children, right?

(08:53):
And and whether the fatherstays home or the mother stays
home, it's not the family thatare raising the the children,
it's one woman or man in a roomof 30 people, 30 different
personalities from 30 differentbackgrounds, 30 different trauma
stories, and the consequence ispoorly raised generations of
people.
Um, and so there's you know,there's so many layers to this.

(09:14):
Um, so one, it's like bringingstructure back into um a child's
life to give them a worldviewthat makes sense, but also that
ideally needs to come fromsomebody who loves that child
because that the person who isemotionally invested in the
child cares about what thatchild's gonna do in the world.
Whereas a teacher, I'm notsaying teachers are awful, but

(09:35):
I'm saying you can't love 30children every year, a different
30 children every single yearlike they're your own.
So you know you're not gonna beable to raise them.
And nor I don't think we shouldbe relying on the system to
raise our children.

Well, and I would argue that, and I was a former
teacher before I was apsychologist, so I would argue
that it isn't actually theteacher who's even attempting to
raise the kids.
The kids are raising oneanother because they're with
each other all day, every day.
It's Lord of the Flies.
And so the influence, the mostpowerful influences are peers.

(10:12):
Right?
The teacher can impartknowledge and guide instruction,
but in terms of, hey, how do weact in society and what are we
gonna believe and how are wegonna dress?
And you know, who are we gonnafollow on social media?
That's not coming from theteacher.
That's coming from peers.

Yeah, and then add on top of that, the
corruption that I would sayexists within social media
companies and their algorithmsand their advertisers and the
way that they're like thedifference between China and the
rest of the world with TikTokis if you're under 16, your
TikTok only has educationalcontent and it switches off at

(10:53):
10 p.m.
And so it's like a genius likewar strategy, you could even
argue, or world dominationstrategy.
It's like we'll keep the rulesfor our population to make sure
they grow up smart, strong, andresilient, and we'll give the
heroine version of TikTok to therest of the world to just
totally destabilize everyone.

Yes.
Yes.

So it's yeah, it's a it's a it's a dark time.
Like, and and and yeah, thesecompanies know that they create
dopamine addictive apps, and youknow, they I saw an interview
with um it was one of the codersin the early days of Facebook,
and they even talked about theway that you open or you go
click see more on a comment tosee other comments.

(11:37):
What they were trying toreplicate the pressing of a
button on a pokey's machine on agambling machine.
Um, and so like every minutedetail is manipulated.
And then you get thesevulnerable kids that are just
attracted to bright colours andloud things, and and there's you
know, going into the you know,the the their brainwave states,
yeah, obviously below the age ofseven are very different.

(11:57):
Um so they're just absorbingall of this content um, you
know, without consciouslyputting it through any filter,
the filter should be the adultin the room, right?
Um, and because we're busy andoverwhelmed and everyone's got
3,000 million things to do inthe modern world, most parents
just hand the phone or hand atablet to their kid to just shut
them up and distract them whilethey do the dishes or go and

(12:20):
get the groceries or try andorganize the next thing because
it seems like whether by designor just as a natural consequence
of capitalism, we've ended upin a world where we are so so so
busy, committed to so manythings.
Kids have got 24 differentsports and 14 different
instruments, and you know, andwe've got to give them every

(12:42):
opportunity.
Um, and I would argue, beingnot really a parent yet, you
know, I'm just keeping a thingalive at the minute, I'm not
really parenting, but that thatsurely leads to confusion on
some level.
It's like so many choices, somany opportunities.
And I was definitely raisedwith the idea, it's like if you
you can either half-asseverything or commit to one

(13:03):
thing and try and do it well.
Um, and so, and and actuallysomething you know, we've been
obviously doing a lot ofresearch um with Gabriel being
in our lives now and how we'regonna raise him and what we're
gonna expose him to, and screensand sugar, and all that kind of
stuff, and and even even kids'shows.
So when I was a kid, I used tolove Thomas the Tank Engine.

(13:23):
I'm not sure if your your yeah,your kids are raised.

I've always loved it, yeah.
Yeah, we had a Thomas the TankEngine train table.

unknown (13:32):
Yeah.

Oh, I love this.
I love I won't.

With all the drawers and all the pieces, and
I mean, but it took up half theliving room.

Yeah, well, the the comparison in this um study
that I saw, it was sort of likean observational study.
Um, but they compared Thomasthe Tank Engine in the 90s um to
Peppa Pig in 2019 or somethinglike that, and it found that the
frame rate was three uh orscene rate, so it's three

(13:59):
different scenes per minute inThomas the Tank, so it moved
very slowly.
And in Peppa Pig in the 2000s,it was like 27 scenes per
minute.
And it's again the idea is thatit creates this like, oh, here,
there, there, there, here, likethis addictive kind of trying
to keep up with what's going on.
And then you see that youswitch Thomas the Tank engine
off, and it's like most of thekids were like, Oh, that's over.

(14:21):
What's next?
You know, um, some were stillupset, probably me.
Um, and but but then Peppa Pig,almost all of the children you
turn it off screaming, right?
Because they're on thisdopamine cyclone in their brain,
and that you've just taken awaythe dopamine stimulant.

Yeah.

So it's fascinating.

It is fascinating.
I love that.
I would be overwhelmed if Iwere in your position, Matty.
Like, I mean, because when Amyand I raised our kids, I mean
that was overwhelming enough.
Like, um, but we didn't haveall of the the digital and the
like you know, there was stillroom for for quiet.

Yeah, well, and the question becomes, you know,
like I grew up to very muchrebel against my mum, right?
And it's taken me a long timeto come back around.
She's on her way to help ustoday, actually.
She's a fantastic woman, but Iwas the I was just like her,
basically.
Um, loud, opinionated,strong-willed.
Um, and so we clashed for for along time until I got enough

(15:20):
grown-up maturity to sort myshit out.
Um, but um, but the interestingthing too is in this world,
with the with me having theperception or us having the
perception that it is quitetoxic with all the screens and
all the sugar, and that it'sreally easy to slip, you know,
slip down the slope of uh intothat world of messy addiction

(15:41):
and your life really goingnowhere because you're so
distracted.
The question then becomes, andmaybe you both have wisdom, how
do you raise your children tonot rebel against what you're
trying to create for them?

Well, so the reality is there's this term
called psychological reactance.
And it's basically whathappened, you know, with Adam
and Eve in the garden, right?
God says, Don't eat this fruit,and they say, Here, hold my
beer.
And so it's this when you'retold no, and first of all, I'm
an evangelical Christian, so Iwas not being sacrilegious by

(16:18):
saying that.
I literally that's whathappened, right?
They said uh he said no.
That makes me want to do iteven more.
And that's what psychologicalreactance is, right?
When you are told no, it's thisoverwhelming desire to do it
anyway.
And so we have to work really,really hard to fight that urge.

(16:40):
And as adults, you know, ourprefrontal cortex is fully
developed, right?
So we can reason, we can holdall of the alternatives in
working memory so that we candecide what the best choice is.
But young children, they'redriven by desire and what they
want and what they want now andwhat they want not 10 minutes

(17:03):
from now, right?
And so it's going to be achallenge, right?
It's going to be a challenge.
And so my advice is always tocreate invitations rather than
demands.
And so when you can phrasethings in a way that um sparks
curiosity for your child, thenthey want to know a little bit

(17:25):
more, right?
Then they want to do it alittle bit more that way, right?
And then if you can givechoices, give choices as much as
you can.
Because the more power we givekids, the more relational equity
we build, right?
So that then when you do haveto say, well, it's this way and
no other way this time, right?
They're more likely to go,okay, because I know that I will

(17:49):
have choices every other time.
So power control and choices,and then just create
invitations, invitations forlearning, invitations for
engagement and connection andfun.

And I just know it'll be messy.
It's gonna be messy though.
Oh, for sure.

I don't even know how my brain's working
right now with like four hourssleep last time.

Right.

We know that looks I feel messy.
Yeah.
So, but I'm curious, where isthe the place for no?
Um, like, you know, and thosehard boundaries.
I mean, obviously when it comesto safety.
Yep.
Um, you know, because the likeand in a way it's like what we
were touching on before is thatyou know, the this generation
that we're told anything's okayall of the time, do what you

(18:37):
like, your feelings are true.
Um, and then they come into theworld and met people maybe like
us who are like, no, you know,and they're like, ah yeah.

And so I I think it's um important to ask
yourselves as parents, okay,what do we value?
What do we value about being afamily?
And what do we want and what dowe value in how we want to
raise our children?
So what is the end game?
And it's the end game istypically not to raise people

(19:12):
who do exactly what they'retold, right?
I don't think when you sitaround going, what am I most
excited about about being afather?
To make sure that my child doesexactly what he's told.
I don't think that's whatyou're saying.
And so you're probably sayingsomething like, I want my child
to love others, be acontributing member to society,
you know, appreciate beauty.

(19:33):
Like there are things you wantthem to grow up to be
well-rounded adults, right?
Who love each other and treateach other with kindness and
respect and love you andcontribute in some way.
Okay, so then then the questionis, how do I get from here to
there?
And so when we think aboutparenting as teaching rather

(19:56):
than disciplining, and actually,if you look at the word
discipline, it comes from theword disciple, which means to
teach or to lead.
And so if we think, okay, howdo I lead my child in this
direction?
What skills do I need to teachmy child in order to make him be
successful in this direction?
Then the rest starts to fallinto place.

(20:18):
But when we walk into it with amindset of, because I said so,
then that's never going to besuccessful.
Your child might behave out offear, but does that get you to
the endpoint that you're lookingfor?
But boundaries around healthand safety, those are
non-negotiable.
Most other things arenegotiable, right?

(20:38):
And so again, when you have toset a hard line and go, nope,
sorry, I have to keep you safe.
My job as a parent is to keepyou healthy.
So this is how it's gonna be.
However, I will let you choosedo you want a red apple or a
green apple?
Because then you're giving themchoice and then you're still
giving them some power.

(20:59):
Not do you want a red apple oran Oreo?

No, the Oreo is not in the question.

Exactly.
Right?
So they have to be the choicesthat you give them have to be
ones you can live with.

Yeah, that reminds me of Jordan Peterson.
One of his rules or somethinghe talks about is don't raise a
kid that you don't like, orsomething like that.
It's like, you know, don'traise them with with attributes
that you don't actually like,because that's the beginning of
the dissolution of your family.
And and it's it's really goodthat you raise that because in
this world, like we're literallyhere talking about someone that

(21:34):
was a bit of a renegade, likethat we were before, like with
Charlie Kirk, you know, and thelast thing that in order to
lead, like and to be a goodleader, you need to be as
compliant.
Like compliant leaders are whoare they?
Nobody knows them, right?
Um, because you need to bepushing the boundaries, you need
to be challenging people, youneed to be holding people to

(21:56):
account.

So yeah, um challenging ideas and you know
sharing, you know, speakingwithout fear, all that stuff.

Yeah, completely, completely.
So I guess, yeah, in raisingchildren, in some ways, the last
thing you want, maybe not thelast, but is is compliant
adults, like you know, oncethey're adults.
Maybe you don't want them to bedrug addicts and speeding and
crashing and you know, doing youknow, there's not there's a
line for the compliance, but uhum, but I guess that that

(22:25):
compliance and thenon-compliance is based on, as
you said, Amy, like the valuestructure that you want to to
build in the family or you wantto uphold.

Yeah.
Like I I never grounded my boysever.
Not once.
They were never grounded.

I wish you were my mom.

Um but they're doing really, really well.
They're adults now, they're all20 and up.
And um, so they didn't theydidn't turn out to be hooligans
who are imprisoned.
I just had some boundaries thatwere hard and fast.
And those were I need to knowwhere you are and who you're

(23:05):
with.
Well, that actually gives me aton of information, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Where are you and who are you with?
Because then I'd be able tospeak into that.
Hey, I don't think that that'sa safe choice.
So how about you guys picksomething else to do instead?
Right.
And then it would enable aconversation, right?
Or hey, I'm concerned um thattheir parents are out of town

(23:33):
for the weekend.
So why don't you guys hang outhere?
And so uh there were alwaysalternatives that you could
throw out there that you couldlive with, but that still
empowered them and helped themmake choices based on your
values.

Little did I know getting on here that I was
gonna have a parent coachingsession this morning.
This is fantastic.

That'll be $150, Maddie.

Amazing.
I'll send the carrier pigeons.

Okay.
That's what happens when youget into the trenches of
parenthood and start deepthinking.
Yeah.
Like, oh I have people ahead ofme that have done this before.
Let me get their thoughts for asecond.

Yeah, it's it's interesting too because I mean,
I grew up and I'm in a worldwhere you hear so many times
there's no manual, there's nomanual, there's no manual.
Um, these kids aren't born witha manual.
Uh and I'm like, but a billionhumans have been born.
Surely there's some like surelysomebody knows like like

(24:40):
however many hundreds ofbillions over the course of
human history, surely there'ssome a bit of information that's
been recorded.

Yeah.
Well, and I think that thereare plenty of um smart people
who have written smart thingsthat uh you can glean something
from.

Right.
Yeah.

Right.
But I my contention has alwaysbeen if there were a perfect way
to parent, we wouldn't need anyprisons.

That's a good, yeah.
I like that line.
That's good.

And so a lot of it is trial and error.
And every child is different.
Every child is different.
So what works for one, evenwithin your own family, what
works for one might not work foranother.
And that's okay too.

And there's so much personal growth that has to
happen too.
Because one of the things thatmaybe, you know, I know how old
is your baby, Maddie?

Six months.
Six months, yeah.

So little the fun snuggle at times.

Yes.

You know, one of the things you realize as a
parent, especially as you havemore than one.
So one will do it too, youknow, you'll get that mirror
back to you, and all of a suddenyou'll think you've got your
you know, your stuff together,and then your child will do
something, and you're like, oh,well, that triggered something.
Who am I?
What I thought I was a sensiblehuman, and all of a sudden I'm

(26:06):
you gotta pull me off theceiling.
What's going down?
Um uh, but then another childwill come up and you'll get it
all managed with one, and thenthe other one mirrors something
else at you and triggers you ina different way.
So, you know, it's part of theparenting piece is learning how
to wrestle in those intimaterelationships um with the humans

(26:28):
that have been put in yourcare.
Um, so it isn't really evenall, you know, sometimes I think
we think, yeah, we're theadults and we've got it all
together, but really it's inthat growth of our own journey
too, of learning how to be thisnew adult that is now
responsible.
Yeah.

And and recognizing that you're gonna
mess it up.
And you're gonna mess it up.
And show yourself some gracefor that, right?
We do the best that we can withthe information that we have at
the time.
Yeah, and if you walk into asituation like that and
recognizing that connectionshould be your mindset,
everything else, you're gonnascrew it up.
So don't expect, right?

(27:08):
But love and do it.
And we sometimes we have to dorepair work.
Sometimes we have to say, Well,of course, you know, mom or dad
got that wrong, and we'rereally sorry.
Will you accept our apology?
I think we should have done itthis way instead.
And I promise to try itdifferently next time.
And we have to be vulnerablelike that and be willing to do
that repair work, and it goes along way.

I've already noticed the feeling of being
more accountable to you knowhard conversations and
apologies, and and you know, ifI'm in my stubbornness, um, I'm
like, oh, would I be annoyed atGabriel for not manning up and
apologizing or doing the task orwhatever?
And it's like, is this the hillI'm gonna die on?

(27:50):
No, like so it's like, oh,actually, it's interesting.
I don't know if either of youhad this experience, or but for
me as as a man, um when he wasborn, it's like it cleared my
mind in the sense that like allthe noise of possibility, of
romantic ideas about what'spossible and what I could do,

(28:11):
and you know, with business,with life, with who knows what,
all of it just disappeared.
And it was like soul focus.
I gotta look after the familynow.
And you know, there's it was itwas just such a I didn't expect
it to be such a moment ofclarity and to just get rid of
all the noise that a young myyounger self was, you know, kind
of I guess disappointed atlike, oh I can't live a hundred

(28:34):
lives to do all of the things inmy head, you know?

Yeah.

Um, and and um, and I guess social media really
plays into that FOMO and youknow the fear of I guess not
experiencing lives that youcould have experienced or
probably you really couldn'thave.
It's just social media makesyou think you could have.

Right.

Um, but but yeah, it was so it was so it's
been so refreshing to just havethat clarity of mind and that
sort of single direction of justlike, oh, it's so much easier
like this.
And it's funny because Yali andI was gonna say Yali and I are
late 30s.
Um, and so uh we both have beenlike, oh my god, why didn't we
do this sooner?

I've heard it described, it's that shift
between, you know, up until youknow your first child, you're
living for yourself.
And so all your decisions arebased around your needs and
wants.
But once you have a child,you're now living for someone
else like you've never had tothink about the world before.
So that's the shift.

Well, I will say I had the exact opposite uh
experience that than you had.
I I knew everything before Ihad kids, like I knew it all.
Um, and I was so secure in mycareer choices and how I was
handling my relationships.
And uh I just I was, you know,I was an expert in in all of it.

(29:57):
You see, you hear my sarcasm.
Okay.
So I can remember I was givinga presentation to a bunch of
teachers, and uh it was a youknow, some curriculum ideas, and
it was really cool.
I was a curriculum coordinatorat the time, and I would I like
I had so much passion and so somuch excitement, and they would

(30:18):
ask me questions and I go, Well,you just need to tell the kids
to do it this way, right?
And I had this guy, midforties, late 40s, stand up and
he went, You don't have any kidsof your own, do you?
And it was this aha moment thatmaybe I didn't know as much as
I thought I did, right?
That that here I was with amaster's degree in early

(30:43):
childhood education.
Therefore, I was a master atall children zero through eight,
right?
And being questioned because Idon't have my own children,
right?
That I started thinking, oh, amI missing something?
And then as soon as I had myfirst one, all hell broke loose,
the wheels fell off the bus.
I had no idea what I was doing.

(31:04):
And it was this race to figureit all out that I might have
just won.

unknown (31:14):
Yeah.

Right.
Well, yeah, right.
And then and then even goingback and getting a PhD, it
didn't help me be a better mom.
It helped me be better at myjob.
But until you're in it, youknow, I so it clouded my mind.
It totally scrambled my mind.
Uh and it was uh it was totalon-the-job training.

Well, it's it's it's funny that you say this the
mind scramble happened.
Um, because I guess beforewitnessing Yali go through like
baby brain and just like sortof, you know, she went through
this phase where she wasdropping shattering glasses and
she chopped the top of herfinger off and she's so tired,
so exhausted.
Um, and before that, like Isort of, I guess unconsciously

(31:59):
or just the lack of awareness,would think you'd hear these
situations happen with babies ormums, or and you'd be like, how
could you let that happen toyour child?
And then witnessing, like, youknow, Yali kind of mentally fall
apart just because she's soexhausted.
Um, I'm like, oh, you know, Iunderstand now how the woman for
one second let go of the pramand it ended up on the train

(32:21):
tracks, you know, or thoselittle things like we
beforehand, you just have noconcept of what sleep deprived
is.
Like I'm comparing right now towhen I was like really, really
drunk regularly at university,uh, you know, like 20 years ago.
And this is this is so muchworse.
Like the sleep deprivation andthe need to perform and get on

(32:42):
conversations like this and tryand sound like I've got more
than three brain cells.
So this feels prettychallenging someday.

It's probably why you're asking us all the
questions, right?
Like if you have this allplanned, Maddie.
You know what?
I'm just gonna ask them andthey can do all the talking.
And ironically, we had the sameconversation disclosure this
morning.
So fun.
Yeah.
So Sandy texts me this morningand she said, Hey, I just need
to give you a heads up that I'mjust not in a good headspace

(33:09):
because of what happened withCharlie Kirk yesterday.
And and I said, Well, I haven'tbeen able to stop weeping.
And this was probably 11 a.m.,right?
And so, like, I've been tryingto get myself together and just
was really struggling.
And um, and I said, But youknow what, it'll be fine.
I said, because we'll justthrow a couple of questions to
Maddie and he will talk theentire time.

(33:32):
And I said, all of our younglisteners will love his sexy
Aussie accent.
They'll be totally captivated.
We'll be fine.
We just have to sit there andlisten.

That's hilarious.
Oh my god.

It's all the best way plans, right?

So this is just the musings of three really
tired, destabilized humans.

Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, for sure.
Um okay, so we do want to askyou a couple of questions.

Sure, let's do that.

Yeah.
So uh you have rebranded andrenamed your entire universe,
right?

Yeah.

Yeah, tell us a little bit about that.

Sure.
Um, so yeah, we've rebranded tothe real weight loss coach.
Uh, formerly, the podcast wasHow to Not Get Sick and Die,
which is a fantastic name.
And I'm sad to live in thebook.
It's so sticky.

It was so sticky.

So sticky.
But um, but what I found is Iguess between the How to Not Get
Sick and Die podcast, and thensort of maddylandsdown.com, and
then my program was Mind BodyNourishment.
I had all, and then myInstagram was The Real Weight
Loss Coach.
I had these four differentbrands, and and and it didn't
really seem obvious how theywere connected.

(34:52):
And the reason that weeventually landed, I say we
because Yali and I werebrainstorming rebrand ideas for
a while, and it was Yarly thatcame up with it in the end,
which was just the word real,that we do real work.
We do emotional bingeovereating, psychology hormones,
like all of the things thataren't calories and workouts,
basically.
And so, um, and we lean veryheavily into the psychological

(35:14):
um stuff as well.
So that's the idea of the wordreal.
And so, yeah, I just wanted topaint all of the doors on the
internet the same color so thatanybody that found me anywhere,
they knew what was behind thedoor, you know.
And then at some point inthere, I just started getting
real excited because the wordreal, I can use it in all these
context contexts, and I've gotthese like little branding
things like uh eat real clean,get real healthy, feel real

(35:37):
good, like you know, real talksegment on the podcast, and like
I'm just real, real, realeverything.

And that actually is a great adjective for you.

Yeah, I think so.

As you are, I mean, you're so authentic.

Oh, thank you.
I'm glad that comes across.
Like, yeah, it's it'sinteresting.
Um, I'm about to run my firstretreat, but um, over the years
I've caught up with clients oryou know, podcast listeners
randomly in person, or I'll bein the city and somebody will
recognize me, which doesn'thappen often, but when it does,
I feel pretty special.
Um, but it's the in thesemoments people actually say this

(36:10):
I get two pieces of feedbackwhen people spend time with me
in real life.
One is uh you're a lot tallerthan I expected.
And two is you're so much morechill because people hear me on
podcasts where I'm like, I'mpassionate.
I'm like, this is what I think,and I'm I care a lot.
And and so they just expectthat I'm like that all of the
time.
I'm like, when you're aroundme, all I'm gonna do is campaign

(36:32):
for health, nothing else.
Um and so so I'm pretty happywith that feedback.

Well, and I think people automatically assume
that what we do is who we are.
And so I have this t-shirt thatsays, keep talking, I'm
diagnosing you.
Because once people realize I'ma psychologist, they're all of
a sudden afraid to say anythingin front of me because they
think that I'm gonna be done.
I don't want to sit arounddiagnosing you.
That isn't even the type ofpsychology that I practice.

(36:58):
So they just all of a suddenit's like, okay, you're a weight
loss coach.
So you're looking me up anddown, trying to decide, you
know, she'd be really pretty ifshe lost 20 pounds, right?
I mean, that is that is what wethink when we find out what
people do, right?

Yeah.

You know, you find out somebody's a doctor and
you're like, hey, can I ask youa question?
Right.
And they're like, no, I'm notworking right now.

Well, it's funny you say that too, because I've
um, as part of the retreat, I'veyou know been getting all of
this physical merch together andand stuff to gift everybody,
and um, and I've created like ahoodie um which has got the real
weight loss coach podcastbranding on it.
But I'm very aware that nobodywill buy that because nobody
wants the branding of the wordsweight loss on them, right?

(37:42):
So I'm wearing it, I'm thebillboard at the gym, so you
know I'm proudly wearing it.
Uh, and hopefully people willask about it, but uh either way,
they might search the podcast.
But it's interesting toobecause this rebrand is really
good for for incoming business,but nobody wants to, it's kind
of like uh personal developmentand particularly psychological
self-help books took spikedmassively when audio came in.

(38:05):
Because you don't need to bewitnessed doing this private
work.
Um, and so that's why I'mtrying to lean into this, I
guess, other part of the brandthat's kind of fun, you know,
like you know, get real healthy,feel real good, uh, get real,
real talk, like, you know, whata lot of us can relate to that.
And in this world where I thinkwe're in a trust recession um
with the internet and all theediting and all the AI that's

(38:28):
coming in, um, you know, Ireally want to lean into that so
people, you know, come totowards what we do in a way
that's like authentic and theyfeel that they can show up as
who they are, and I'm gonna showup as who I naturally am.
And it's not Maddie on camera,and then you know, I'm really
secretly, you know, anarcissistic, arrogant, awful
person that's like trying todominate the world through my

(38:49):
pretend online personality, youknow.

Yeah, that's funny.
All right.

Yeah.

Well, then I want to talk to you about a couple
of things related to being areal weight loss coach.

Yeah.

And that is, I would like to talk to you about
GLP1s.
Um, and I I think just fromhearing you speak and um, you
know, some of the comments thatI've seen, that you're not a
super fan.

Well, I mean, my background was in I spent, you
know, I was a scientist, I spenttime uh in laboratories, I
spent a lot of time in cancerresearch.
Um before that I was in vaccineresearch.
And so the position that I holdnow is informed by a background
of working on medical research,medical science, you know, uh

(39:39):
drugs, that kind of stuff.
And so, and often, you know, Ioften get medical experts that
slip into my DMs to tell me whatthey think of my natural health
position, which is alwayswonderful.
Um, but but I I share thatfirst and foremost because I was
once all for Western medicineas the answer to all of our
problems.
My mum was a nurse, you know.

(40:00):
I grew up going to work withher in a small country town, you
know, the hospital I thoughtwas the best thing ever.
Um, and this is not to saydrugs don't have have utility
and that hospitals are bad, likethey're they're great.
Um, they do like you know, likeif I'm in a car crash, don't
put herbs on my broken neck.
You know, like take me to ahospital.

Rub some essential oil on it, right?
Yeah, right.

Well, and the essential oil might be part of
the healing, but that's later.
Exactly.
You know?
Um, but but all of that to saythat, you know, and this
probably leans into all of thepolitical stuff we've we've
already touched on in some ways,is that capitalism, especially
in big when it comes to bigpharma and the biggest
industries on the planet,there's corruption in there.

(40:43):
And and I personally, from whatI've seen, what I've
researched, I came to theconclusion that a lot of the
highest-grossing drugs uh comewith, should come with a strong
degree of skepticism as to whythat money isn't put into curing
the problem as much as it as itis selling drugs to manage the
problem.
And so, with that logic is whyI then started looking at ways

(41:07):
to help fix people permanently,like cure people.
And on that journey, Idiscovered lots, you know, lots
of different doctors that hadleft the system, scientists that
had left the system, uh, peoplethat had gone and re-educated
in uh different modalities,Chinese medicine, Ayurveda,
nutrition, whatever it might be.
And so I think somewhere inthere is the ultimate
combination of like naturalhealth and sort of conventional

(41:29):
medical, and where we land onthat spectrum is going to be
different for everyone.
Um, but when it comes to GLPones, again, this is gonna be
another hundred billion dollardrug, you know.
So insert that degree ofskepticism that I mentioned
before.
Why are we not solving theproblem?
Um, and I mean, the I did apodcast not too long ago on the
side effects of Ozempic, and andI referenced data all

(41:52):
throughout that.
And they like the side effectsare awful.
And I know that we're in a avanity metrics society of you've
got to look Instagrammable oryou know, you've got to be look
good on TikTok or look good infront of a camera.
And so, you know, we leave leanheavily in the direction of do
I look good, you know, do I havesexual appeal in the
marketplace, you know, men andwomen.
Um, and and and that that onlygets you so far because when

(42:16):
you're and I often talk aboutlayers of motivation, so you can
take the GLP ones, you can takethe drugs, and you can get
skinny, but awesome.
But if you're on the other sideof that, still hating yourself,
still uh say you stop the drugand you go back to binge eating,
or in the process of taking theGLP one, you've destabilized
your microbiome, so you don'tactually absorb iron anymore.

(42:38):
So your low energy, yourmitochondria is dysfunctional.
Like, what is the price formost people of taking a GLP one?
Um, unless you have to be on itfor the rest of your life, of
which many people have a reallyunpleasant experience.
And so one of the reasons I'mI'm like, if I have a client
that's on it, I'm not gonnajudge them.
I'm gonna be like, all right,let's work on, let's figure out

(42:59):
a way to slowly reduce the doseand get you off it so that you
can live a life that actuallymaintains the weight loss and
maintains the health.
Um, because I'm all for gettingpeople healthy, strong, and and
stable within who they are,rather than you know, trying to
maintain because evenmaintaining weight loss feels
like this.
I'm holding back this reallybig boulder that's trying to

(43:22):
roll over me.
Um, and really we want to juststep into who we are.
Um, and I'm almost certain mostpeople listening don't want to
inject themselves every day.
They don't want to have gutissues, they don't want to have,
uh, you know, there's been uhthe the um CEO uh of of Ozempic
was hit with a hundred billiondollar um lawsuit because of the

(43:43):
number of people that wentblind as a result of Ozempic.
Um and and I like again, I getthat this vanity culture says
I'm willing to risk that just tobe skinny.
But I have so many clients thatachieved that result through
yo-yo dieting in the yearsbefore, only to end up working
with me because they're like, Istill hate myself, right?

(44:04):
Um, and this is the real work,like this is the idea of what we
do is that we go those layersdeeper.
Um, do some people have areally burnt-out, messed up
metabolism that drugs couldhelp?
Yes.
Do I think Ozempic is theanswer to that?
Mostly no.
The other thing is alongsidethese um uh drugs, when it comes

(44:26):
to weight loss drugs, it'soften recommended that you eat a
really good diet and you'rereally active.
Um, and people that get thebest results are usually, you
know, adhering to multipleaspects of their regime, not
just the medication.
Yeah.
Um, and so, and you know, whenI look at the recommended
Ozempic diet, uh it's not toofar away from something that I

(44:48):
think is a good idea to loseweight anyway.
Um, however, I am very awarethat women, particularly whose
bodies have been throughpregnancies and trauma uh and
multiple other factors, it's notjust burning fat that is, and
this is why I get fired up aboutuh personal trainers on social
media that are just like caloriedeficit, calorie deficit, all

(45:09):
it is is a calorie deficit.
And then you've got millions ofwomen that are like, I've been
doing that forever.
I literally eat one lettuceleaf per meal, and I I can't
lose any weight.

Yeah.

Um, and that's because there are other systems
in the body that are um damaged,compensating, missing,
traumatized, like or bracingpatterns that are holding that
there for maybe there was sexualabuse, maybe there was you know
something awful.
And and I've had thisconversation a very sad amount
of times with clients that weget to the root cause, which is

(45:41):
like I keep myself fat becausethis layer of fat means that I'm
not pretty or beautiful, andtherefore I do not get male
attention.
And whenever I start to loseweight, people start to notice
and they'll comment and be like,oh, you're looking good, and
then that that it's reactivated.
This old trauma is reactivated,and I go back into a binge
eating cycle, which then putsthe weight back on.

(46:02):
But for years, because of youknow, marketing being just about
weight loss and calories, um,we but you know, we all beat
ourselves up because it's like,oh, it it it must be my fault.
I'm not strong enough, whilstneglecting this trauma which
we're not acknowledging.
And second to that,acknowledging, just like we
talked about with social mediaapps, like supermarkets are

(46:22):
designed by psychologists tomanipulate our behavior.
And and and so we go into theseenvironments thinking that
we've got a great, you know,free thinking mind on our head
and in our mind, and we're like,oh, I made this choice to eat
this, I made this choice to eatthis.
And it's like, sure, on somelevel you made that choice, but
that was a very, very massagedecision by the marketing and

(46:44):
branding companies, which makebillions from manipulating your
behavior.
So I think there's there's allof these other aspects which
need to be acknowledged in orderto be able to create a life
that is is healthy and torecognize as well that our
bodies, particularly women,fluctuate a little bit,
especially with hormones and themonthly cycle and then going

(47:04):
through menopause.
Um, and and so maybe a GLP1 isa useful bridge, maybe it's a
part of that solution.
But I would always be lookingfor like what is the root cause
of the weight gain or thecycling weight in and out up and
down, um, or in this case themast cell, or if I have someone
that's got cancer or heartissues, it's always like what is

(47:25):
causing that?
And the list is long andfrustratingly so, which is no
wonder drugs are appealingbecause it's like, oh my God, so
there's obesogens in my kitchenunder the sink, there's
obesogens in my makeup, there'sobesogens in the deodorant that
I use, there's obesity, likeit's everywhere, you know.
Um, so when you put the listtogether, no wonder people are

(47:46):
like, I don't have time forthat.
You know, I don't have themoney to replace every plastic
thing in my house, you know?
So um, so anyway, that's mythoughts.
Where are we at?

Yeah, so what do you make of um the natural GLP1
um promoters or like the seasalt thing that I've seen all
over?
Have you seen that?
Like the pink salt mimic, orwhat I mean, what do you say to
paint people who are seeing thisstuff on social media and

(48:17):
saying, okay, well, maybe thisis a natural alternative.
I can just take this.
What do you think?

Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, experiments aregood.
Like we're all an N of one,like a research study of one,
and something different worksfor everyone.
And and I say that because likethe again, when we're talking
about women that areparticularly, you know, 40, 50,
60, 70 years old, that body hasbeen through a complex life.
And and if we take it to thepart of the body that absorbs

(48:48):
all of it, it's the nervoussystem, right?
The nervous system has hasabsorbed that entire life.
Um, and so stress of everykind, you know, deaths, um,
hunger, sadness, annoyance,laughter, like the whole life.
And and most of the people Iwork with have never been taught
how to release their emotions,to relax their nervous system.
And many people feel unsafe intheir nervous system.

(49:11):
Like when they actually calmdown or they go somewhere where
there's no stimulation, theystart to get really anxious and
anxiety comes up in peoplebecause they're not they're so
unfamiliar with that state, andand therefore as a result, it
feels unsafe.
Um, so I would say try all ofthe things you know that are
available to you and trying thegood thing about trying natural

(49:32):
alternatives or suggestions, ifthey work for some people and
they might not work for you,there's little to no side
effect.
That's the really great thing.
And and I love that about foodas medicine and nutrition and
herbs.
And I've even got a glass ofdisgusting herbs right here.
I'm on a parasite cleanse rightnow.
Um, and but the good thing is Icould have heaps of those, and
sure, they might not taste goodin my mouth, but um beyond that,

(49:54):
you know, it's not gonna causegastroparesis, it's not gonna,
you know, cause me to, you know,go blind or anything like that.
So that it's a very low-riskintervention to explore.
So I would encourage people toexplore those things because
there's I've had clients beforeuh that have said, or people in
my DMs that just sort of say,Oh, I tried this and it worked.

(50:14):
And I was like, Oh, really?
Amazing.
Didn't expect that.

Right.
So then what is at the core ofwhat you want women to know,
right?
Like, so these are kind ofancillary, right?
Like that that can be a tool,or this can be a tool, or try
this, experiment with that.
But foundationally, what isyour message?

Foundationally, I bel I think that our body
keeps the score, essentially,um, which is that our body is
the consequence of our beliefs,our ideas, the stuff we put into
it, uh, the company that wekeep.
Um, it's a it's a mirror inmany ways.
Uh, and so understanding whatis at the core of who you are is

(51:05):
going to tell you what kind ofbody you've got.
And that might trigger somepeople.
Um, I totally get that thatmight be really offensive to
some people, but um, it's notuntil we start peeling back
these layers that we can seewhat's really at that core.
And and it that core might bejust a seven-year-old little
girl that's really scared ofbeing hurt again, you know.

(51:26):
Um, and it can be reallyintensely emotional to go
through this process.
And, you know, if I spoke towhenever I speak to business
coaches, they basically tell meI'm an idiot because I'm too
honest and that discouragespeople from working with me.
Um, because I'm honest aboutlike the real work is hard work,
like, and and it's even evenusing the word work is a bit

(51:46):
like, oh, I don't want to dothat, just give me the drug.
Like, you know, I don't have tothink.
Um, and really it's a it's alife intervention, and we just
we start with the conversationabout weight loss, but we end up
at all of these ancillaryideas, which is yeah, we might
need to have a really, reallyimportant conversation with your
husband that might reallydestabilize that relationship,
or you might need to go and dosome healing over some horrible

(52:09):
things that happened to you onetime it's not going to fix
overnight, and or you you'remissing your gallbladder, and
you, you know, that producesweight um uh hormones that help
with weight loss, or um, youknow, so there's so many,
there's so many factors thatthat go into this.
And with each individual infront of me, we can usually get
a few of those things off thelist quite quickly and sort of

(52:30):
say, all right, these are thethings we need to focus on.
Um, but again, I'm going backto that, you know, you're a
research study of one, um, andI'm honest with people, which is
like, I don't know what's wrongwith you, and I'm not the
answer to your problems.
You are, but I'm here to guideyou on that journey.
Um, and so, and then we juststart, we have a big session, we
write everything down, then weprioritize that list, and then

(52:52):
we just start with number one.
And if we get a rot result withnumber one, awesome.
Um, but we might need to gotwo, three, four.
And the good thing is once youwork through those layers,
you're not going to get to theother side and be like, well,
that was a waste of time,because you've usually done,
even if there's no weight loss,right, you've still done a lot
of emotional healing and sort oftransformation, if you like,

(53:12):
that sort of fluffy word.
But um, but yeah, so I thinkthe underlying message is that
you're the answer to yourproblems and you're totally
fixable.
And you could even say, youdon't need fixing, we just need
to evolve and write a newchapter.

Susie was a working professional and a mom
whose son Matthew was kicked outof preschool for attention and
sensory challenges.
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missing until a friend pointedher to Learning RX.
After seeing the one-on-onebrain training programs in
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(53:48):
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And now he's a roboticsengineering major in a college
and on the dean's list.
What an amazing Learning RXtestimonial.
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(54:10):
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All right.
So let's talk about teenagegirls.
So you've got a teen girl whois struggling with weight.
How do you sensitively, as aparent, how do you sensitively
handle that kind ofconversation?
When is the right time tointervene?

(54:49):
Should you intervene in theteenage years?
My my thinking is you've got apre-diabetic teen that maybe you
want to go ahead and intervenefor health reasons, but what is
the what I mean, what's theprofessional guidance there?
Like what should moms do whohave a um a teen daughter who's
struggling with their weight, oreven a teen son for that

(55:11):
matter?

So I think the most important thing is just
like we talked about with thevalues in the family and the
values at home, um, andsomething that Yali and I talk
about, even in all the chaos oflife at the moment, and we've
only got one.
Oh my god, there's gonna bemore chaos with more kids.
Like, is that our our as mumand dad, as the you know, the
people at the driving the ship,that our health and wellness is

(55:36):
is really, really still equal onon par with the kids in in on a
level of importance.
Um, and so that means that I Ihave to get to the gym.
Like, you know, um my goal inlife is to be a jacked dad.
Um for the for the sole reason,or if not for the primary
reason, of being an embodimentof our our family values, um,

(56:00):
and the kids growing up beinglike, yeah, most of my friends'
dads are overweight, have a beerbelly.
Um, and this isn't to judgepeople, we all make different
choices, but um, but it is toshow that health is important.
Even my busy parents are bothstill very healthy and strong
and able, and it's somethingthat we all prioritize as a
family.
Does that mean we're gonna havea rebellious teenager that, you

(56:23):
know, uh is like, well, I'mgonna, you know, eat KFC all of
the time, and I'm gonna be theopposite of you because you are
the antithesis of my existence.
Um, you know, maybe that was meas a teenager.
Um, but I guess the point isit's like talking to teenagers,
obviously super, super delicate.
Even women of all ages, to behonest, but the younger, the
more, usually the more fragile,the younger they are, and the

(56:46):
more influential.
But I think embodiment um andyeah, because we're all the the
average of the closest fivepeople, and even if we are still
living with our parents orliving in it with the family,
but you know, not reallyfollowing their their uh way of
life, I think most kids in arelatively healthy family
environment end up making theirway back around to like, oh,

(57:08):
actually, some of the stuff Iwas rebelling against, most of
them most of that actually Ikind of do now, you know.
Um, or at the very least, theygrow up with the knowledge of
what what it is.
I've got a friend with a17-year-old anorexic daughter
and talk to her regularly, andshe's a beautiful mum, she's a
beautiful human, and justconstantly upset about her the

(57:29):
the health issues her daughter'sgonna have.
And um, and I honestly, she'sbeen one of my biggest learnings
about how she navigates it,because from where I am, she
seems to do a great job, um, butalso being very aware that
between school and her phone,how much influence does she have
right now?
And and so her thing is thatshe just keeps getting up and

(57:50):
going to the gym herself.
So, in the hope that one dayher leadership and her health
prioritization as the motherwill have some influence down
the track.

Yeah.
Yeah.
I think that what you'rehighlighting is the complexity
of raising teenagers in general.
And health and weight issuesare just one of those many
challenges that as parents wemay face in figuring out, okay,

(58:22):
how do I sensitively communicatethat I'm concerned about my
child's health, right?
Not necessarily from anaesthetics perspective, but
truly fundamentally from ahealth perspective.
You know, I've I've counseledmany families casually and
professionally, where theycomplain that all their child

(58:44):
wants is junk food.
And so I might I throw it backto them and say, well, who's
going grocery shopping?
Who's buying the food?
Right.
If you're stocking your pantrywith Oreos and Laise potato
chips, then you're creatingtemptations.
Whereas if we're stocking ourkitchens with choices that you
can live with that you're notgonna come complain about,

(59:07):
right?
You're the one buying the food.
The problem is your kid turns16, starts driving, gets a job,
can buy their own McDonald's inthe drive-thru, which is exactly
what I started doing, right?
Like my mom never cooked friedfood ever.
I only had ocean to table mealsbecause I grew up on the beach,

(59:29):
right?
And so everything was super umgood for me until I got a
driver's license.

The opposite problem.
You had the opposite problem?
Yeah, totally.
My mom, um, my mom and dad wereboth in the military.
They both, you know, had towork, they rarely had time off
and you know, limited income.
And so I mean, we lived onOreos and had the whole hostess

(59:57):
choice collection, like my wholememory.
And so for me, like back towhat Maddie's saying, like we go
back to old habits um andtrying to dig down into that.
Like, you know, I think for onTikTok or somewhere for a while,
it was like the question, Ican't remember what the opposite
was, but one of it was, youknow, are were you an
ingredients household, or wereyou whatever the opposite of

(01:00:19):
that is, you know?
And like, Amy, it sounds likeyou were the ingredients
household and I was theopposite.
It was all pre made craftmacaroni and cheese, anything I
could read the instruction labelon and Whip it together.
Because that's how I learned tocook, right?
Um and try to reframe that asan adult, you know.

(01:00:39):
I you know, I don't know that Imodeled that well for my kids.
I did try, I had to learn a lotwhen I got married because my
husband came from an ingredientshousehold.
Very Greek.
And so I know to figure thatout.
Um so funny though, my myfather-in-law told me a couple
years ago, he's like, You you'vecome a long way.

(01:01:02):
He loves me dearly.
But he's like, this was reallygood.
You've come a long way.
That's awesome.
Thanks.

Matty Lansdown (01:01:13):
I was an ingredients household too.

Sandy Zamalis (01:01:15):
Yeah, like so you know, there's many of us, I
probably many of you, I would beI'm only I'm your I'm your
charter member in the you know,when you think of people, it's
me.
Um but that's what we grew upon.
It's so easy, convenience.
It's that convenience, and youknow, when life is busy, when

(01:01:37):
both parents are working,there's not enough time.
Um it tastes good, it's youknow, yeah.

Well, and and I would add to that.
Well, there's two first thing Iwant to mention is like I grew
up in an ingredients household,and for all of the challenges
with my mom, she did many thingsamazingly.
Um, and one was that cooking,and she made sure we all had a
cooking night.
I rebelled against that for along time, but I did pick up a
lot of skills along the way.
Um, and when we wanted pizza,it was homemade pizzas.

(01:02:06):
And when we wanted burgers, itwas like, I want to I want a
cheeseburger from McDonald's.
So we made cheeseburgers.
We still ended up theresometimes.
Um, but like it was the pointthat, like, oh, you can actually
create this at home.
And then I think one thing youdiscover um as an adult is that
actually a lot of the homemadesweets you can make are so much
better than the ones you can buyfor a dollar at the supermarket

(01:02:28):
anyway.
Um, but I mean I I'm I'm I'malways like feel like I'm
defaulting to corruption, butthe corruption of the food
industry is that the theterrible food is so so so
affordable, right?
Um, and and it's just so cheap.
It's a dollar, two dollars,five dollars to buy a whole
family's worth of Oreos, youknow, or whatever it is, versus

(01:02:51):
all of the individualingredients that then cost $100
to then I've got to also gohome, I've spent all this money
and now I've got to go and dothe labor.
That seems like a raw deal.
Um, and so that's an element ofit too.
And so, um, and also maybe partof the family values
conversation is um, I feel likeas part of that capitalism, you

(01:03:13):
know, products selling thingsthat the world in the world
we're in is in there, they'vemade meal time not important.
Like once it was only twogenerations ago that it at the
same time every day, mom orsomebody entered the kitchen um
to begin the process of mealsfor the day, um, or the women in
the house, or what you know,whatever it was, could be the

(01:03:34):
men.
I cook a lot here.
Um, but the point is thatthere's a time for meal prep to
begin uh and the and time forthe meal to cook.
And so we're gonna try reallyhard to not get sucked in, it'll
happen sometimes, but to thebeing ultra busy is is what nor
normal people do.
Um, and sure, we'll still bebusy, but the point is that meal

(01:03:54):
time still matters.
Mealtime is a part of thatbusyness, it's something you
need to do.
We need to sit down at thetable, we need to cook the food,
we need to prepare it.
Um, because minus the last 50years, everything before that
for human history, food wasimportant because it meant we
didn't die.
Right?
Whereas now there's such anabundance that it's like, oh,

(01:04:15):
you can drive, be on the phone,and have a burger in your mouth,
not even consciously thinking,which by the way affects your
digestion, affects how much howmany calories you put in, means
that you're more likely toovereat, means you're more
likely to go towards sugaryfoods, because you're not
consciously eating, you're notbeing present with your food.
And you've got your stresssystem triggered.
So I think this loss of mealtime being important works in

(01:04:38):
favor of the food industry thatwe're in, fast food, you know,
convenience food, and this ideathat, yeah, I need something,
food to be convenient becausemodern society says it doesn't
matter.
Food doesn't matter.
Solve the problem with OZMPICin 20 years.

Dr. Amy Moore (01:04:53):
Yeah.
Well, and I think it'simportant to point out the
opportunity that we have forconnection around the dining
room table.
That it's not just about ourphysical health, but our social
and emotional health as well, tobe able to connect with our
kids and with each other everyday around the dining room

(01:05:13):
table, the conversations and theopportunities that that can
create.
Um, again, it goes back to whatdo we value as a family.
And so we do value physicalhealth and emotional health.
And you're killing two birdswith one stone by having uh an
ingredients-based meal aroundthe dining room table.

Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely will do everything
that I can to make sure that thekids, we've only got one now,
but Yali's at the point whereshe's telling me she wants six
at the minute, so that's gonnabe interesting.
Um, I might have to lock myselfin this room.
Um, but um, but yeah, I'm gonnado everything I can to be an
ingredients household where allof the kids um know how to cook,

(01:05:54):
you know, know why food isimportant.
And sure, there'll be a rebelin there, or or all of them will
be, and they'll pretend not tocare for an amount of years.
But at some point later inlife, in their 20s, ideally, or
their 30s, they'll be like, oh,they'll they'll be with a
partner or they'll be in a housewhere they're sharing, and
it'll just be like, Oh, youdon't know how to cook?

(01:06:14):
Here, just give it here, I'lljust do it.
Then they'll have this momentof like, oh my god, I'm so glad
that my mom and dad taught mehow to do this.

Absolutely.

One can only hope.

Actually, all three of my boys are phenomenal
cooks and awesome, so yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.

Maddie, we've been talking to you for a long
time, and you probably have ababy that you want to get back
to because it's early in themorning for you.
Um, what do you want to leaveour listeners with?
How can they find you?
What do they need to know thatyou haven't gotten to say today?

Um I mean, so many things really.
Uh, we could just talk all day.
But um, I mean, first, yeah,you can find me at the Real
Weight Loss Coach Podcast oranywhere online.
It's the same brand everywherenow.
So that's good.
Um, but I think the thing thatum I would leave people with
today is that is is just tofocus on doing less.

(01:07:12):
I think that's kind of thetheme overall, is that we're
trying to fit so many solutions,activities, experiences, and
we're trying to cram it all intothe same life.
And sure, we should liveabundantly, but I really lean
into that idea of sort of nothalf doing everything and living
a life incomplete, if thatmakes sense.

(01:07:32):
Um, I think it's better to justdo slightly less and fully
experience it.
Put your phone down, put thefood down, be present.
Uh, and I think that you know,lowering that cortisol and
adrenaline in our system isgonna benefit weight loss, it's
gonna benefit our mental health,it's gonna benefit our
relationships.
Um, so I think in thisparticular moment, the take-home

(01:07:54):
message is um do less and do itbetter.

I love that.
Matty Lansdown, thanks forbeing with us again.
I think this is your thirdvisit to us, and uh, yeah.
Well, we always love uhspending an hour or more with
you.
Um, you're just engaging andsuper smart, and we love
learning from you, talking toyou.

Love blessed.

Um, and you always make us feel good because
we get to, you know, share someuh tidbits with you as well.
So yeah.

Well, thanks for having me.
I like I love hanging out andtalking, and um and yeah, this
has been great.
And I'm I'm glad that um we alldidn't fall asleep.

Right, absolutely.
Uh so listeners, thanks forbeing with us today.
We hope you feel a littlesmarter after spending this hour
with us and Matty Lansdown.
You can find us at the BrainyMoms um or go to our website,
thebrainymoms.com, to find thisand the other two episodes Matty
has joined us on.
And we will put the links toboth of those episodes in the
show notes of this one so thatyou can hear all of his wisdom.

(01:08:55):
So we'll talk to you next time.
Thanks.

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