November 26, 2024 • 30 mins
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Holiday Happiness Without the Holiday Hangover
As the holiday season approaches, it's easy to get caught up in the stress and emotional eating that often comes with it. But it doesn't have to be that way. In this episode, I share my personal journey through the mixed emotions of the holidays and offers practical strategies to help you navigate this challenging time.
Learn how to:
- Plan ahead for social events and make informed food choices
- Balance indulgence with moderation, categorizing foods into "must-haves," "maybes," and "waste of time"
- Manage social interactions and embrace gratitude to enrich your holiday experience
- Overcome emotional triggers and practice self-care during the festive season
Join me as I explore how to make this holiday season a brighter one, filled with peace, joy, and a renewed sense of appreciation for the blessings in our lives.
Connect with me online:
1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44
3. You Tube channel, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@breakthroughpodcast-44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com
If you want to learn more about how to stop overeating at meals and lose weight easily, get my How To Stop Overeating At Meals Guide: https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-overeating
Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.
If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to leave a review on the platform you used to listen and share it with your friends on your Instagram stories. Also, be sure to follow me o...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi and welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
This recording is taking placeon the Monday before
Thanksgiving on 2024, and I havedone similar podcasts in
(00:23):
regards to how to handle um theholidays and how to handle any
sort of social gathering,especially during this time of
year, because I think this issuch a unique time of year, Um,
and and honestly, there arethere's a real mixed bag of
responses when you ask peoplelike are you excited about the
(00:45):
holidays?
And many people I'm realizingas I get older, there are more
and more people who do not enjoythe holidays as much as they
once did, or they've had eventsthat have happened that make the
holidays very, very challenging, and so, for anyone who is an
(01:08):
emotional overeater or a personwho struggles with food and
struggles to be in control oftheir emotions around food, this
can be an incrediblychallenging time of year and it
can be really, really hard, andso I really want to provide you
today with some really practicalthings that you can do and some
(01:33):
thoughts that you could haveabout not only the holidays, but
about your empowerment and howyou can empower yourself when it
comes to how you end up dealingwith everything that goes on in
your life during the holidays,as well as what you consume
during the holidays, becausethat's going to dictate how you
(01:54):
feel.
Your consumption of food andhow you feel in control of
yourself is going to dictate howone day leads to another day,
leads to another day, leads toanother day, and so it is
important that we get a handleon that and that you are able to
kind of create some positivemomentum for yourself so you
feel like you can handle theholidays, regardless of really
(02:16):
what you think of them ingeneral.
Anyway, just on a personal note, for me this holiday season I
ordinarily very much enjoy theholiday season, but this holiday
season is going to be really,really challenging.
It's the first holiday, thefirst major holiday, that we
will be having without my dadand my niece, and so we lost
(02:38):
both of them in January of lastyear, and so that is really.
This is going to be a hard time.
It's going to be a hard timefor myself, for other family
members, especially for my momand for my sister, and so we
really you know, I know for me Ihave to really be sensitive to
other people's emotions andother people's feelings and how
(03:01):
I come into those events and howI handle myself.
So for me, this is justdefinitely very different.
The holidays are usuallysomething I really look forward
to, and I'm kind of going inwith a lot of trepidation, so,
yeah, so this is as much for meas it is for all of you, so I'm
really really happy you're here.
(03:22):
If you have not joined myFacebook group, Breakthrough
Emotional Eating Stop Overeatingfor Good.
That group is active.
I post all of my podcasts inthere and any YouTube videos
that I do.
I do a weekly YouTube video aswell.
I have a YouTube channelentitled Kristen Jones Coaching
(03:45):
as well, and you can subscribeto that.
I also have all my podcastepisodes up on YouTube as well.
So lots of information, lots ofthings that you can get.
But this I think this episode inparticular is going to be most
appropriate for people to listento throughout the holidays, to
kind of remind themselves ofwhat they need to do in order to
put themselves in the bestpossible position.
(04:07):
To, you know, wake up onJanuary 2nd and feel really good
about either maintaining theirweight or possibly losing weight
during the holidays you neverknow.
So, um, starting off the the Icall this the holiday eating
survival guide and um, so I have, I have some some basic things
(04:27):
that I want to kind of relate toyou and and provide for you.
So the first thing is going tobe the first few things are
going to be related, or aregoing to be related to food, and
so we'll.
We'll address those first,because food is just a very
small portion of the holidays,and more so the social
interactions are the things, andthe familial interactions are
(04:50):
oftentimes the things that bringpeople the most angst and then
cause them to eat in a way thatdoesn't serve them and their
goals and their lives.
So we'll address the food firstand then we'll get to the
family piece afterwards.
So the first thing that Ialways recommend and I recommend
this all the time but you needto make a decision ahead of time
(05:12):
.
If you have an event coming up,an event in the evening, an
event at lunch, you need to makea plan and make decisions ahead
of time about how you are goingto go into that particular
event.
So you need to make a decisionone by looking at, okay, where's
(05:33):
this event happening?
One or actually, where's theevent happening?
Do I actually really want to go?
Um, do I know what they'reserving?
Do I know, um, how?
You know how the structure ofthe food is going to be?
Is it going to be a buffet, Isit going to be a sit down?
Is it going to be justappetizers?
And then plan your eating forthat day around that party?
(05:57):
I think the worst thing thatanyone can do is to not eat at
all all day and then go to aparty completely famished of a
couple of cocktails and then,and then all bets are off.
Then you, you end up eating waymore than you ever planned on
eating, and usually you're goingto make the choices that are
not going to be in your bestinterest.
So, making a plan and thensticking to it for that day,
(06:21):
based upon whatever the layout,is it for that day, based upon
whatever the layout is, however,the party structure is going to
be make that plan of how youwant to eat throughout the day
and then commit to that anddecide this is really important
to me I'm going to make adecision about what I'm going to
eat and how I'm going to eatand how I plan on eating, going
(06:41):
into whatever this gathering is,and then make that plan and
then commit to it.
So part of that planning iswhat I call being selective.
Is we have to go into theseholiday gatherings?
We don't have to.
I suggest you go into theseholiday gatherings with the
thought of these foods are here,Many of these foods are here
(07:06):
once a year.
You don't see them veryfrequently.
You don't see them, but youknow, at Thanksgiving, at
Christmas, at holiday gatherings, and so you, you, one of the
things that I've always preachedis I've never encouraged people
to deny themselves to go to aparty and say I'm not going to
eat any of those things, becauseyou may be really good at the
(07:27):
party and not eat anything.
And then you go home and youeat everything in your
refrigerator because you're so,you feel so deprived, You're so
angry, you feel so left outbecause you didn't partake of
the things that you reallywanted.
So I encourage people to beselective about what are the
things in the holidays and thisis something that you want to do
pre-party, you want to thinkahead of time.
(07:50):
What are the things that reallymean something to me, food-wise,
during the holidays?
What is it that really bringsback positive memories, positive
emotions that I feel like, ohGod, that reminds me of my
childhood.
I really like that type ofthing.
I really like that horsd'oeuvre or I like those types
of foods and you really feelcompelled, you want to be able
(08:12):
to partake of them.
I don't think anyone shoulddeny themselves.
I think that just sets us upfor binges later on.
So really have a thoughtprocess about this.
So I divide food into threecategories, and the three
categories are must-haves,maybes and waste of time.
(08:33):
Okay, so must-have, maybes andwaste of time.
Those are my kind of my holidayfood categories.
So the must-ves obviously arethe foods that you absolutely do
not want to go without.
I know I, cause I make itmyself.
One of the things that we haveat our, our, our any.
(08:55):
We'll have it at Thanksgiving.
We usually have it at Christmasas well is this bacon dip, and
it is so good and we take, weget those scoops, uhito-Lay
scoop chips and you eat them,for you eat it out of a cast
iron skillet.
It is so good.
I make it, I'm the one whomakes it in my family.
It is so delicious and I lovethat.
I love it.
(09:15):
So bacon dip is definitelysomething I like to have.
I like to have it.
We also make the appetizerswith the little town butter
crackers and we put bacon andthen sometimes we sprinkle
Parmesan cheese or brown sugarand you wrap them in bacon and
(09:35):
then you cook them.
Oh my God, y'all, if youhaven't had those.
They're so good, those areamazing.
Love those.
Those are things that I don'twant to go without.
I don't need to have 50 of them, but I don't want to go without
them.
So in my mind, I make sure thatmy sister's going to make them
and I'm in my mind I'm alwayslike, okay, if I see those,
that's something I want to have.
(09:56):
That is an event, that is a,that is something that reminds
me of the holidays.
It's special.
I usually don't have them anyother time of year.
That's something I want to haveand I'm going to allow myself
to have that.
I'm also going to allow myselfto realize that I don't have to
eat a ton of it.
I don't have to eat it.
I don't have to eat a year'sworth.
In this one sitting I can justhave a little bit and then maybe
(10:20):
I can get the recipe.
And if I want to make it, youknow, any other time of the year
I can do that, but for rightnow, this is a special holiday
food that I want to have and Iwant to have a little bit of it.
I don't need to have a ton, butI do want to, I do want to
allow myself to have that.
So, again, you commit to eatingsmall portions of these foods,
but you, but there are the foodsthat are really sentimental to
(10:40):
you, they have, they havemeaning to you and you want to
have them and there's nothingwrong with that.
So, must-haves, the maybe foods, are foods that you would only
eat if you went to a party andthey like really looked good and
you were like, wow, that's kindof different.
Like I see people like makingcheesecakes.
I can have cheesecake anytime,unless it's like a holiday cheat
(11:04):
like.
And I have something I havelike my own personal feelings
about like pumpkin stuff, likepumpkin things.
I can have a little bit of it.
Pumpkin goes a lot, pumpkinflavor goes a long way and I
don't need a lot of it.
So I can have a little bit ofpumpkin and be totally happy.
But like cheesecakes, likecheesecakes, unless it's a,
unless it's a seasonal, autumnalflavor or it's something
(11:27):
special with, you know, likepeppermint or, and I probably
wouldn't even have that.
But if it was some sort ofspecial kind of cheesecake that
somebody was making, I maybewould decide to do that.
But I also am like, eh, thatcheesecake, I could kind of have
that anytime if I really wantedit.
I could go to the cheesecakefactory and I could get my
cheesecake.
Do I really have to have it now?
(11:47):
Those are the decisions.
You have to be a little bitmore thoughtful about that.
So I don't really have anattachment to cheesecake.
I can have it anytime.
I could make one myself, Icould have my sister make one, I
can go to the cheesecakefactory.
So cheesecake's not going tohave that, not going to have
that big of a pull on me.
It's a maybe.
It's like, eh, there wasnothing else, I might have it,
but I give it.
(12:08):
I kind of assign a value to it,and then I'm like, eh, I could
walk by it, I could walk awayfrom it, or I could have some,
and it'll depend on how I feel.
So I don't go in thinking I haveto eat everything at this,
everything at whatever the partyis, wherever the gathering is.
(12:28):
I don't have to eat everything.
I now start to kind ofcategorize things and and those
things that I could have anyother time.
I'm not really that into.
I'm not really that into, Idon't need to have those and it
honestly it kind of eliminates alot of things at parties where
you don't feel like, oh my gosh,I have to eat all this stuff.
It kind of eliminates a lot ofthings at parties where you
don't feel like, oh my gosh, Ihave to eat all this stuff.
The waste of time.
The waste of time category isall the things that you could
(12:52):
have at any other gathering anyother time of year and it isn't
related to the holidays.
And, personally speaking, Ialways tell people you do not
want to waste your stomach spaceon things that you could have
any other time of the year.
What falls into this categoryfor me is salad.
(13:13):
I am not wasting my stomachspace on salad, Not on
Thanksgiving, not on Christmas,not at any gathering.
Salad not going to do it, Notgoing to waste time with that.
Cheese and crackers I can getcheese and crackers at the store
anytime.
Those deli trays that peopleget the sandwiches, y'all.
(13:35):
Anytime of the year you canhave those.
They're not extra special atthe holidays.
You can bypass those.
Bypass those.
The shrimp, the little shrimpwith the cocktail sauce those
are always at parties.
Don't make this be like, oh mygosh.
Oh, look, there's shrimp, let'shave those.
You can have those any othertime.
(13:57):
Save and make your decisionsbased upon what has meaning to
you and what makes you feel good, makes you happy, and really
assign and make that.
If you're going to make food afocal point of going out, make
it worth it.
Make it be something that isconnected to the holidays, that
(14:19):
gives you a nice memory or ithas some sort of positive
connection.
But wasting your time on shrimpand salad and cheese and
crackers and I'll tell youanything else.
And one other thing anythingstore-bought I will not eat If
it's bought.
If somebody bought it in astore and brought it, like if
(14:41):
they have dip, I'm not.
I'm not eating chips and dipunless it's those scoops in my
bacon dip, but I'm not eatingthat Like.
I'm not going to waste my timeand my space and my stomach and
I'm going to be really, reallyselective about what I eat.
So go in with that attitude andit will.
It will reduce the amount ofthings that you're going to eat.
(15:01):
You're going to have a muchmore enjoyable time because
you're going to really beselective and it's not just
going to be like oh, I'm justgoing to eat whatever's here
because it's here.
Let's be a little bit choosier.
Let's take better care of ourbodies and give ourselves what
we truly want and really thinkit through and give yourself the
things that you really actuallywant and enjoy them guilt-free,
(15:23):
and you'll end up not eating asmuch and you'll end up leaving
the party feeling so much better.
So give yourself freedom tohave those foods, but be
selective.
Be selective about what you'regoing to be eating, All right.
The third thing is you need totake care of yourself throughout
the holiday season.
(15:43):
Self-care is always somethingthat's important, but especially
during the holidays, when it'sso stressful there's so many
things going on, People arepulled in so many different
directions you have to startplanning how you are going to
take care of yourself.
So if you are a person whoalready exercises and already
moves their body, you need toprioritize that and put that
(16:03):
into your schedule.
Make it a plan that you are notgoing to neglect, that you are
not going to stop exercisingbecause you just got too busy.
You need to make sure youmaintain your schedule, maintain
your routine, because routinessometimes, during these chaotic
times, are exactly what we needto ground us, to make us feel
good and to keep us focused onwhat our goals are.
(16:25):
So if you are a person whoexercises, you maintain your
exercise regime.
You make sure you put that inyour calendar.
You have it time focused, timeplanned where you can get
exactly what you need, takingcare of yourself.
So schedule your workouts as ifit were a meeting, making sure
that you get it accomplished.
You also want to plan time forspecial things that make you
(16:48):
feel good.
Oftentimes, people are sofocused on oh my gosh, I've got
to buy these gifts, I've got tobuy gifts for everybody else and
you forget to take care ofyourself.
And that's why people go togatherings, or they go to
Thanksgiving or go to Christmas,and they are so stressed out
because they haven't taken careof themselves.
And then how did they take careof themselves?
By eating everything in sight.
(17:08):
And so it's really valuable andreally important to plan
massages, if you like, getting amassage or a facial, or time to
get your nails done, or time to.
One of the things I always,always recommend to people is
that you have a book or apodcast as kind of your go-to.
(17:29):
That is your.
I hate to use the term escape,but it is your your opportunity
to kind of block out the worldand just kind of go inward and
kind of I don't know if you'veever had a really good book,
that you kind of crawl into abook and you become so into it.
A podcast can be the same way,but allow yourself to have those
little breaks away from all ofthe chaos and give yourself that
(17:54):
gift of that book or thatpodcast or that playlist that
just takes you away, makes youhappy, puts you at ease,
de-stresses you and allows youto be able to kind of recharge
yourself so you can go back tobeing all the things you need to
be for everybody during theholidays.
You have to be there foryourself first before you can be
(18:15):
there for anybody else.
All right, Speaking of anybodyelse, now we have to start
talking about the people that weinteract with during the
holidays, and oftentimes this isthe most stressful thing for
people is whether it's familymembers, whether it's friends
they have to run into, whetherit's it's people from work that
(18:36):
they have to now socialize withand they aren't really sure how
they're going to socialize withthem, and that's really awkward
and uncomfortable and I don'tfeel like I need to social, or
should socialize, with my boss,or it feels weird and yucky and
whatever.
All of those things need to belaid out and addressed ahead of
time.
(18:56):
Your brain likes to know yourplan.
Your brain likes to have a plan.
When you go into something andyou just kind of go in
haphazardly and you go inblindly, that's when things are
going to go sideways.
So you have to make sure thatyou make a plan for yourself.
So one of the things that'sreally important is to know what
are your triggers when you goto a social event.
(19:20):
I know for me I cannot standsmall talk.
Like is nothing more awkwardthan to get stuck talking to
somebody that you're like Idon't know how to walk away,
Like I don't know how to get outof this conversation, Like I'm
pulling all of these questionsout.
I'm asking all these questionsbecause I just don't have
anything to say.
I'm not quite sure what I wantto say, and it's, it's those
(19:42):
awkward silences and you justwant to like, you just want to
escape.
And it's, it's those awkwardsilences and you just want to
like you just want to escape.
You need to know, okay, if thatis what my thing is, if that is
what like that's for me, I'mI'm uncomfortable with that.
So I have to go in having aplan of like.
Okay, I always have a drink inmy hand.
It's usually water.
I always have a drink in myhand and if I get into a
(20:03):
situation that is awkward anduncomfortable, I always make
sure that I drink the rest of mydrink and then, oh, I've got to
go refill, I'll be back, andthen I never go back.
But it's important to plant.
My brain relaxes when I know,oh yeah, if I get uncomfortable
I'm just going to go refill mydrink, or if I get uncomfortable
(20:25):
, I'm going to excuse myself andgo to the bathroom.
But I have a plan, I know whatI'm going to do and I have that
in my mind and my brain thenrelaxes and allows me to be able
to be a little bit more socialin those situations.
The other thing is if you knowthat a person in your life is
(20:48):
someone who triggers you whetherit's a relative, whether it's a
friend of the family's and youknow they're coming, you know
they're going to be at an eventthat you're going to be at Right
.
The one thing that I wouldhighly highly recommend is that
you remember that people ingeneral don't change, and so if
(21:13):
somebody has been a thorn inyour side for the last 25 years
and it's that uncle who alwayssays the things about your
weight, or, oh my gosh, are youfinally going to see somebody?
Are you ever going to getsomebody?
Are you ever going to getmarried?
We all have those, those peoplewho say those things that are
just like oh God, they'rekilling me and so don't expect
(21:33):
them to change.
You have to be the one whochanges.
You have to be the one who saysI know where this is going to
go, so I'm not going to engage.
I'm going to try to avoid themas much as possible.
Don't go in thinking, oh, I'mgoing to change them.
I'm going to go in and I'mgoing to try and interact with
(21:54):
them this year.
It doesn't mean that you haveto ignore them, but we all know
people who know our triggers aregoing to step on them, are
going to push those buttonsevery single time.
You have to put it uponyourself to be like I'm going to
protect myself.
If that means somebody startssaying something, I get up and I
(22:15):
walk out and I go to anotherroom, or I busy myself with the
kids, or I take the kids out fora walk, or I do something that
is going to get me out of thatsituation.
Don't put yourself in situationswhere you know inevitably how
someone's going to be and you'rethinking, well, maybe they've
changed, Maybe they're going tobe different.
They're not going to be,they're going to be exactly who
(22:39):
they are and you can allow themto be who they are, but you
don't have to be a part of it.
So, having that plan of whenthe conversation goes in this
direction, that's when I get upand I go into the kitchen and I
start helping, or I ask if I canset the table, or can I take
care of one of the babies, orlet me go take somebody for a
walk If somebody's crying andcrabby, whatever it is.
(23:01):
But have no, no the scenarios,no the scene, and try to set
yourself up to be as successfulas you can.
Because again, you put yourselfin those situations and you get
flustered and the easiest andquickest and most available and
convenient thing for you is toblock out your emotions and just
(23:24):
eat, and that's what.
That's what most of us do is.
Reactions and overeatingoftentimes are a result of
something that somebody says atsome point during the day, and
and just don't allow yourself tohave to even be open to that.
It it you don't have to putyourself in that position.
You can get yourself up and youcan go to another room.
(23:44):
You can get yourself up and youcan go to another room.
You can get yourself up and youcan make yourself busy doing
something else.
It's always about what's bestfor you self-preservation and
protecting your heart and yourfeelings.
And speaking of your feelings,the next thing is you have to
allow yourself to feel youremotions and to feel.
And if, if the holidays arehard, own that and be okay with
(24:08):
it and don't feel guilty anddon't feel like I should really
be happy.
Everybody seems so happy.
Everybody else is stressed too,so don't, don't set yourself up
to have to be anything otherthan who you are.
And if it's hard, that's okay.
It's okay that it's hard.
And if a party rolls around andyou're like, oh, I said I'd go
and you don't want to go, sendthem a text and say you know
(24:31):
what?
I just, I just I'm not up to it, I'm not up to it or I don't
feel well or whatever it is.
But own your emotions, feel them, decide what's going to be best
for you in the long run andthen do that and know that how
you feel is important.
You don't have to go anywherefor anybody else.
(24:52):
It is always going to be what'sgoing to be the best thing for
you, what's going to make youfeel cared for and loved and
valued, and how are you going toconnect with your own emotions?
You have to feel those emotionsbecause if we bottle them up
and we don't feel them, they'regoing to come out in other ways
that are going to be sodetrimental and detrimental to
not only you, but detrimentalalso to other relationships that
(25:15):
you have.
And you want to really try tomaintain positivity throughout
the holidays and not be I'm notsaying be fake, but at the same
time, you want to allow yourselfto be able to feel all your
emotions, everything that youare feeling, and to make sure
that you're able to come out ofthe holidays and come out of any
(25:38):
interaction that you have withpeople feeling like you were
honest with yourself and youwere real and you were your own
person.
And the last thing we have to doduring this time that will
really help you be able tomanage your eating and manage
your emotions is to be grateful,and gratitude is, hands down,
(25:59):
the best thing that anyone cando.
If practiced daily, it willchange your life.
And it's just acknowledging thethings that you have, the
blessings that you have in yourlife.
And when we acknowledge theblessings that we have and we
recognize them and we thinkabout them, we get more of them
(26:22):
because we attract what we thinkabout.
And so always being in thatplace of the glass half empty,
of what I don't have, that isonly going to send out more of
that scarcity mindset, thatscarcity energy, instead of that
abundance energy.
We always, every single person,has something to be grateful for
, something to be thankful for,and we just have to find it.
(26:44):
So sometimes there's some daysthat it's a little bit harder
than others, but we always wantto be as grateful and as
appreciative for all the thingswe have, even if we feel that we
should be treated in adifferent way or we should have
gotten more.
It's just accepting and knowingwhere you are and knowing what
(27:06):
you have, Because, again, whatyou have will expand when you
are appreciative and when you'regrateful, and it just makes you
feel better.
It just brings that positivityand it's not toxic positivity.
It's legitimately beinggrateful for all the things that
we have, Because as I sit herein my home and I look at my dog
(27:30):
who oftentimes makes me insane,but I'm so grateful, I'm so
grateful for him and his placein my life, I'm grateful for
where I live, I'm grateful foryou, I'm grateful for having
this podcast, having my business.
I'm grateful for you, I'mgrateful for having this podcast
, having my business, and I justsometimes forget those things.
So it's important to alwaysremember every day, daily
(27:54):
gratitude, counting yourblessings and being appreciative
, not just because it'sThanksgiving, but all the time,
making that a daily part of yourlife.
It will absolutely change yourlife and it is something that
will help you be able to be atpeace with where you are on your
on any kind of journey you'reon, on any type of goal setting
journey that you're on, butespecially on a weight loss
journey.
We always want to make surewe're appreciative and grateful
(28:16):
for where we are today.
So I hope these tips have givenyou some ideas of some things
that maybe you can do in goinginto your events and making sure
that you're prepared, that youhave the right mindset, that you
decide.
This is how I want to.
This is how I want to handle it.
(28:36):
We want to always go into anyof our events and any of our our
gatherings with what are some,and it's not looking for
negatives, it's just being awareof what are the potential
triggers and how do I want torespond to them.
How do I want?
And then committing this is howI'm going to respond, this is
what I'm going to do and giveyour brain that plan because it
(28:58):
will relax once it has that plan.
So make sure that you kind ofthink things through and go in
with that grateful attitude ofappreciating everything that you
have, but having a plan for howam I going to handle things,
how am I going to handle thisevent and then go in, execute,
honor yourself, give yourselfthose festive holiday foods that
(29:20):
you love and then make it thebest gathering that you can make
it, avoiding those people thatpossibly could be landmines for
you.
So I hope that everyone has.
I hope this has been helpful.
I hope everyone has an amazingholiday season and, again, we
are all so blessed.
We have so many things in ourlives that we can be thankful
(29:42):
for and appreciative of, and sostarting with that, starting
with gratitude, will always makeevery situation so much
brighter and give you somethingto really really focus on that
will uplift your lives your lifeas well as the lives of those
people around you.
I hope you have an amazingholiday and I will see you all
next week.
(30:02):
And take care and have a goodone.
Hi and welcome to the Breakthrough Emotional Eating
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
This recording is taking placeon the Monday before
Thanksgiving on 2024, and I havedone similar podcasts in
(00:23):
regards to how to handle um theholidays and how to handle any
sort of social gathering,especially during this time of
year, because I think this issuch a unique time of year, Um,
and and honestly, there arethere's a real mixed bag of
responses when you ask peoplelike are you excited about the
(00:45):
holidays?
And many people I'm realizingas I get older, there are more
and more people who do not enjoythe holidays as much as they
once did, or they've had eventsthat have happened that make the
holidays very, very challenging, and so, for anyone who is an
(01:08):
emotional overeater or a personwho struggles with food and
struggles to be in control oftheir emotions around food, this
can be an incrediblychallenging time of year and it
can be really, really hard, andso I really want to provide you
today with some really practicalthings that you can do and some
(01:33):
thoughts that you could haveabout not only the holidays, but
about your empowerment and howyou can empower yourself when it
comes to how you end up dealingwith everything that goes on in
your life during the holidays,as well as what you consume
during the holidays, becausethat's going to dictate how you
(01:54):
feel.
Your consumption of food andhow you feel in control of
yourself is going to dictate howone day leads to another day,
leads to another day, leads toanother day, and so it is
important that we get a handleon that and that you are able to
kind of create some positivemomentum for yourself so you
feel like you can handle theholidays, regardless of really
(02:16):
what you think of them ingeneral.
Anyway, just on a personal note, for me this holiday season I
ordinarily very much enjoy theholiday season, but this holiday
season is going to be really,really challenging.
It's the first holiday, thefirst major holiday, that we
will be having without my dadand my niece, and so we lost
(02:38):
both of them in January of lastyear, and so that is really.
This is going to be a hard time.
It's going to be a hard timefor myself, for other family
members, especially for my momand for my sister, and so we
really you know, I know for me Ihave to really be sensitive to
other people's emotions andother people's feelings and how
(03:01):
I come into those events and howI handle myself.
So for me, this is justdefinitely very different.
The holidays are usuallysomething I really look forward
to, and I'm kind of going inwith a lot of trepidation, so,
yeah, so this is as much for meas it is for all of you, so I'm
really really happy you're here.
(03:22):
If you have not joined myFacebook group, Breakthrough
Emotional Eating Stop Overeatingfor Good.
That group is active.
I post all of my podcasts inthere and any YouTube videos
that I do.
I do a weekly YouTube video aswell.
I have a YouTube channelentitled Kristen Jones Coaching
(03:45):
as well, and you can subscribeto that.
I also have all my podcastepisodes up on YouTube as well.
So lots of information, lots ofthings that you can get.
But this I think this episode inparticular is going to be most
appropriate for people to listento throughout the holidays, to
kind of remind themselves ofwhat they need to do in order to
put themselves in the bestpossible position.
(04:07):
To, you know, wake up onJanuary 2nd and feel really good
about either maintaining theirweight or possibly losing weight
during the holidays you neverknow.
So, um, starting off the the Icall this the holiday eating
survival guide and um, so I have, I have some some basic things
(04:27):
that I want to kind of relate toyou and and provide for you.
So the first thing is going tobe the first few things are
going to be related, or aregoing to be related to food, and
so we'll.
We'll address those first,because food is just a very
small portion of the holidays,and more so the social
interactions are the things, andthe familial interactions are
(04:50):
oftentimes the things that bringpeople the most angst and then
cause them to eat in a way thatdoesn't serve them and their
goals and their lives.
So we'll address the food firstand then we'll get to the
family piece afterwards.
So the first thing that Ialways recommend and I recommend
this all the time but you needto make a decision ahead of time
(05:12):
.
If you have an event coming up,an event in the evening, an
event at lunch, you need to makea plan and make decisions ahead
of time about how you are goingto go into that particular
event.
So you need to make a decisionone by looking at, okay, where's
(05:33):
this event happening?
One or actually, where's theevent happening?
Do I actually really want to go?
Um, do I know what they'reserving?
Do I know, um, how?
You know how the structure ofthe food is going to be?
Is it going to be a buffet, Isit going to be a sit down?
Is it going to be justappetizers?
And then plan your eating forthat day around that party?
(05:57):
I think the worst thing thatanyone can do is to not eat at
all all day and then go to aparty completely famished of a
couple of cocktails and then,and then all bets are off.
Then you, you end up eating waymore than you ever planned on
eating, and usually you're goingto make the choices that are
not going to be in your bestinterest.
So, making a plan and thensticking to it for that day,
(06:21):
based upon whatever the layout,is it for that day, based upon
whatever the layout is, however,the party structure is going to
be make that plan of how youwant to eat throughout the day
and then commit to that anddecide this is really important
to me I'm going to make adecision about what I'm going to
eat and how I'm going to eatand how I plan on eating, going
(06:41):
into whatever this gathering is,and then make that plan and
then commit to it.
So part of that planning iswhat I call being selective.
Is we have to go into theseholiday gatherings?
We don't have to.
I suggest you go into theseholiday gatherings with the
thought of these foods are here,Many of these foods are here
(07:06):
once a year.
You don't see them veryfrequently.
You don't see them, but youknow, at Thanksgiving, at
Christmas, at holiday gatherings, and so you, you, one of the
things that I've always preachedis I've never encouraged people
to deny themselves to go to aparty and say I'm not going to
eat any of those things, becauseyou may be really good at the
(07:27):
party and not eat anything.
And then you go home and youeat everything in your
refrigerator because you're so,you feel so deprived, You're so
angry, you feel so left outbecause you didn't partake of
the things that you reallywanted.
So I encourage people to beselective about what are the
things in the holidays and thisis something that you want to do
pre-party, you want to thinkahead of time.
(07:50):
What are the things that reallymean something to me, food-wise,
during the holidays?
What is it that really bringsback positive memories, positive
emotions that I feel like, ohGod, that reminds me of my
childhood.
I really like that type ofthing.
I really like that horsd'oeuvre or I like those types
of foods and you really feelcompelled, you want to be able
(08:12):
to partake of them.
I don't think anyone shoulddeny themselves.
I think that just sets us upfor binges later on.
So really have a thoughtprocess about this.
So I divide food into threecategories, and the three
categories are must-haves,maybes and waste of time.
(08:33):
Okay, so must-have, maybes andwaste of time.
Those are my kind of my holidayfood categories.
So the must-ves obviously arethe foods that you absolutely do
not want to go without.
I know I, cause I make itmyself.
One of the things that we haveat our, our, our any.
(08:55):
We'll have it at Thanksgiving.
We usually have it at Christmasas well is this bacon dip, and
it is so good and we take, weget those scoops, uhito-Lay
scoop chips and you eat them,for you eat it out of a cast
iron skillet.
It is so good.
I make it, I'm the one whomakes it in my family.
It is so delicious and I lovethat.
I love it.
(09:15):
So bacon dip is definitelysomething I like to have.
I like to have it.
We also make the appetizerswith the little town butter
crackers and we put bacon andthen sometimes we sprinkle
Parmesan cheese or brown sugarand you wrap them in bacon and
(09:35):
then you cook them.
Oh my God, y'all, if youhaven't had those.
They're so good, those areamazing.
Love those.
Those are things that I don'twant to go without.
I don't need to have 50 of them, but I don't want to go without
them.
So in my mind, I make sure thatmy sister's going to make them
and I'm in my mind I'm alwayslike, okay, if I see those,
that's something I want to have.
(09:56):
That is an event, that is a,that is something that reminds
me of the holidays.
It's special.
I usually don't have them anyother time of year.
That's something I want to haveand I'm going to allow myself
to have that.
I'm also going to allow myselfto realize that I don't have to
eat a ton of it.
I don't have to eat it.
I don't have to eat a year'sworth.
In this one sitting I can justhave a little bit and then maybe
(10:20):
I can get the recipe.
And if I want to make it, youknow, any other time of the year
I can do that, but for rightnow, this is a special holiday
food that I want to have and Iwant to have a little bit of it.
I don't need to have a ton, butI do want to, I do want to
allow myself to have that.
So, again, you commit to eatingsmall portions of these foods,
but you, but there are the foodsthat are really sentimental to
(10:40):
you, they have, they havemeaning to you and you want to
have them and there's nothingwrong with that.
So, must-haves, the maybe foods, are foods that you would only
eat if you went to a party andthey like really looked good and
you were like, wow, that's kindof different.
Like I see people like makingcheesecakes.
I can have cheesecake anytime,unless it's like a holiday cheat
(11:04):
like.
And I have something I havelike my own personal feelings
about like pumpkin stuff, likepumpkin things.
I can have a little bit of it.
Pumpkin goes a lot, pumpkinflavor goes a long way and I
don't need a lot of it.
So I can have a little bit ofpumpkin and be totally happy.
But like cheesecakes, likecheesecakes, unless it's a,
unless it's a seasonal, autumnalflavor or it's something
(11:27):
special with, you know, likepeppermint or, and I probably
wouldn't even have that.
But if it was some sort ofspecial kind of cheesecake that
somebody was making, I maybewould decide to do that.
But I also am like, eh, thatcheesecake, I could kind of have
that anytime if I really wantedit.
I could go to the cheesecakefactory and I could get my
cheesecake.
Do I really have to have it now?
(11:47):
Those are the decisions.
You have to be a little bitmore thoughtful about that.
So I don't really have anattachment to cheesecake.
I can have it anytime.
I could make one myself, Icould have my sister make one, I
can go to the cheesecakefactory.
So cheesecake's not going tohave that, not going to have
that big of a pull on me.
It's a maybe.
It's like, eh, there wasnothing else, I might have it,
but I give it.
(12:08):
I kind of assign a value to it,and then I'm like, eh, I could
walk by it, I could walk awayfrom it, or I could have some,
and it'll depend on how I feel.
So I don't go in thinking I haveto eat everything at this,
everything at whatever the partyis, wherever the gathering is.
(12:28):
I don't have to eat everything.
I now start to kind ofcategorize things and and those
things that I could have anyother time.
I'm not really that into.
I'm not really that into, Idon't need to have those and it
honestly it kind of eliminates alot of things at parties where
you don't feel like, oh my gosh,I have to eat all this stuff.
It kind of eliminates a lot ofthings at parties where you
don't feel like, oh my gosh, Ihave to eat all this stuff.
The waste of time.
The waste of time category isall the things that you could
(12:52):
have at any other gathering anyother time of year and it isn't
related to the holidays.
And, personally speaking, Ialways tell people you do not
want to waste your stomach spaceon things that you could have
any other time of the year.
What falls into this categoryfor me is salad.
(13:13):
I am not wasting my stomachspace on salad, Not on
Thanksgiving, not on Christmas,not at any gathering.
Salad not going to do it, Notgoing to waste time with that.
Cheese and crackers I can getcheese and crackers at the store
anytime.
Those deli trays that peopleget the sandwiches, y'all.
(13:35):
Anytime of the year you canhave those.
They're not extra special atthe holidays.
You can bypass those.
Bypass those.
The shrimp, the little shrimpwith the cocktail sauce those
are always at parties.
Don't make this be like, oh mygosh.
Oh, look, there's shrimp, let'shave those.
You can have those any othertime.
(13:57):
Save and make your decisionsbased upon what has meaning to
you and what makes you feel good, makes you happy, and really
assign and make that.
If you're going to make food afocal point of going out, make
it worth it.
Make it be something that isconnected to the holidays, that
(14:19):
gives you a nice memory or ithas some sort of positive
connection.
But wasting your time on shrimpand salad and cheese and
crackers and I'll tell youanything else.
And one other thing anythingstore-bought I will not eat If
it's bought.
If somebody bought it in astore and brought it, like if
(14:41):
they have dip, I'm not.
I'm not eating chips and dipunless it's those scoops in my
bacon dip, but I'm not eatingthat Like.
I'm not going to waste my timeand my space and my stomach and
I'm going to be really, reallyselective about what I eat.
So go in with that attitude andit will.
It will reduce the amount ofthings that you're going to eat.
(15:01):
You're going to have a muchmore enjoyable time because
you're going to really beselective and it's not just
going to be like oh, I'm justgoing to eat whatever's here
because it's here.
Let's be a little bit choosier.
Let's take better care of ourbodies and give ourselves what
we truly want and really thinkit through and give yourself the
things that you really actuallywant and enjoy them guilt-free,
(15:23):
and you'll end up not eating asmuch and you'll end up leaving
the party feeling so much better.
So give yourself freedom tohave those foods, but be
selective.
Be selective about what you'regoing to be eating, All right.
The third thing is you need totake care of yourself throughout
the holiday season.
(15:43):
Self-care is always somethingthat's important, but especially
during the holidays, when it'sso stressful there's so many
things going on, People arepulled in so many different
directions you have to startplanning how you are going to
take care of yourself.
So if you are a person whoalready exercises and already
moves their body, you need toprioritize that and put that
(16:03):
into your schedule.
Make it a plan that you are notgoing to neglect, that you are
not going to stop exercisingbecause you just got too busy.
You need to make sure youmaintain your schedule, maintain
your routine, because routinessometimes, during these chaotic
times, are exactly what we needto ground us, to make us feel
good and to keep us focused onwhat our goals are.
(16:25):
So if you are a person whoexercises, you maintain your
exercise regime.
You make sure you put that inyour calendar.
You have it time focused, timeplanned where you can get
exactly what you need, takingcare of yourself.
So schedule your workouts as ifit were a meeting, making sure
that you get it accomplished.
You also want to plan time forspecial things that make you
(16:48):
feel good.
Oftentimes, people are sofocused on oh my gosh, I've got
to buy these gifts, I've got tobuy gifts for everybody else and
you forget to take care ofyourself.
And that's why people go togatherings, or they go to
Thanksgiving or go to Christmas,and they are so stressed out
because they haven't taken careof themselves.
And then how did they take careof themselves?
By eating everything in sight.
(17:08):
And so it's really valuable andreally important to plan
massages, if you like, getting amassage or a facial, or time to
get your nails done, or time to.
One of the things I always,always recommend to people is
that you have a book or apodcast as kind of your go-to.
(17:29):
That is your.
I hate to use the term escape,but it is your your opportunity
to kind of block out the worldand just kind of go inward and
kind of I don't know if you'veever had a really good book,
that you kind of crawl into abook and you become so into it.
A podcast can be the same way,but allow yourself to have those
little breaks away from all ofthe chaos and give yourself that
(17:54):
gift of that book or thatpodcast or that playlist that
just takes you away, makes youhappy, puts you at ease,
de-stresses you and allows youto be able to kind of recharge
yourself so you can go back tobeing all the things you need to
be for everybody during theholidays.
You have to be there foryourself first before you can be
(18:15):
there for anybody else.
All right, Speaking of anybodyelse, now we have to start
talking about the people that weinteract with during the
holidays, and oftentimes this isthe most stressful thing for
people is whether it's familymembers, whether it's friends
they have to run into, whetherit's it's people from work that
(18:36):
they have to now socialize withand they aren't really sure how
they're going to socialize withthem, and that's really awkward
and uncomfortable and I don'tfeel like I need to social, or
should socialize, with my boss,or it feels weird and yucky and
whatever.
All of those things need to belaid out and addressed ahead of
time.
(18:56):
Your brain likes to know yourplan.
Your brain likes to have a plan.
When you go into something andyou just kind of go in
haphazardly and you go inblindly, that's when things are
going to go sideways.
So you have to make sure thatyou make a plan for yourself.
So one of the things that'sreally important is to know what
are your triggers when you goto a social event.
(19:20):
I know for me I cannot standsmall talk.
Like is nothing more awkwardthan to get stuck talking to
somebody that you're like Idon't know how to walk away,
Like I don't know how to get outof this conversation, Like I'm
pulling all of these questionsout.
I'm asking all these questionsbecause I just don't have
anything to say.
I'm not quite sure what I wantto say, and it's, it's those
(19:42):
awkward silences and you justwant to like, you just want to
escape.
And it's, it's those awkwardsilences and you just want to
like you just want to escape.
You need to know, okay, if thatis what my thing is, if that is
what like that's for me, I'mI'm uncomfortable with that.
So I have to go in having aplan of like.
Okay, I always have a drink inmy hand.
It's usually water.
I always have a drink in myhand and if I get into a
(20:03):
situation that is awkward anduncomfortable, I always make
sure that I drink the rest of mydrink and then, oh, I've got to
go refill, I'll be back, andthen I never go back.
But it's important to plant.
My brain relaxes when I know,oh yeah, if I get uncomfortable
I'm just going to go refill mydrink, or if I get uncomfortable
(20:25):
, I'm going to excuse myself andgo to the bathroom.
But I have a plan, I know whatI'm going to do and I have that
in my mind and my brain thenrelaxes and allows me to be able
to be a little bit more socialin those situations.
The other thing is if you knowthat a person in your life is
(20:48):
someone who triggers you whetherit's a relative, whether it's a
friend of the family's and youknow they're coming, you know
they're going to be at an eventthat you're going to be at Right
.
The one thing that I wouldhighly highly recommend is that
you remember that people ingeneral don't change, and so if
(21:13):
somebody has been a thorn inyour side for the last 25 years
and it's that uncle who alwayssays the things about your
weight, or, oh my gosh, are youfinally going to see somebody?
Are you ever going to getsomebody?
Are you ever going to getmarried?
We all have those, those peoplewho say those things that are
just like oh God, they'rekilling me and so don't expect
(21:33):
them to change.
You have to be the one whochanges.
You have to be the one who saysI know where this is going to
go, so I'm not going to engage.
I'm going to try to avoid themas much as possible.
Don't go in thinking, oh, I'mgoing to change them.
I'm going to go in and I'mgoing to try and interact with
(21:54):
them this year.
It doesn't mean that you haveto ignore them, but we all know
people who know our triggers aregoing to step on them, are
going to push those buttonsevery single time.
You have to put it uponyourself to be like I'm going to
protect myself.
If that means somebody startssaying something, I get up and I
(22:15):
walk out and I go to anotherroom, or I busy myself with the
kids, or I take the kids out fora walk, or I do something that
is going to get me out of thatsituation.
Don't put yourself in situationswhere you know inevitably how
someone's going to be and you'rethinking, well, maybe they've
changed, Maybe they're going tobe different.
They're not going to be,they're going to be exactly who
(22:39):
they are and you can allow themto be who they are, but you
don't have to be a part of it.
So, having that plan of whenthe conversation goes in this
direction, that's when I get upand I go into the kitchen and I
start helping, or I ask if I canset the table, or can I take
care of one of the babies, orlet me go take somebody for a
walk If somebody's crying andcrabby, whatever it is.
(23:01):
But have no, no the scenarios,no the scene, and try to set
yourself up to be as successfulas you can.
Because again, you put yourselfin those situations and you get
flustered and the easiest andquickest and most available and
convenient thing for you is toblock out your emotions and just
(23:24):
eat, and that's what.
That's what most of us do is.
Reactions and overeatingoftentimes are a result of
something that somebody says atsome point during the day, and
and just don't allow yourself tohave to even be open to that.
It it you don't have to putyourself in that position.
You can get yourself up and youcan go to another room.
(23:44):
You can get yourself up and youcan go to another room.
You can get yourself up and youcan make yourself busy doing
something else.
It's always about what's bestfor you self-preservation and
protecting your heart and yourfeelings.
And speaking of your feelings,the next thing is you have to
allow yourself to feel youremotions and to feel.
And if, if the holidays arehard, own that and be okay with
(24:08):
it and don't feel guilty anddon't feel like I should really
be happy.
Everybody seems so happy.
Everybody else is stressed too,so don't, don't set yourself up
to have to be anything otherthan who you are.
And if it's hard, that's okay.
It's okay that it's hard.
And if a party rolls around andyou're like, oh, I said I'd go
and you don't want to go, sendthem a text and say you know
(24:31):
what?
I just, I just I'm not up to it, I'm not up to it or I don't
feel well or whatever it is.
But own your emotions, feel them, decide what's going to be best
for you in the long run andthen do that and know that how
you feel is important.
You don't have to go anywherefor anybody else.
(24:52):
It is always going to be what'sgoing to be the best thing for
you, what's going to make youfeel cared for and loved and
valued, and how are you going toconnect with your own emotions?
You have to feel those emotionsbecause if we bottle them up
and we don't feel them, they'regoing to come out in other ways
that are going to be sodetrimental and detrimental to
not only you, but detrimentalalso to other relationships that
(25:15):
you have.
And you want to really try tomaintain positivity throughout
the holidays and not be I'm notsaying be fake, but at the same
time, you want to allow yourselfto be able to feel all your
emotions, everything that youare feeling, and to make sure
that you're able to come out ofthe holidays and come out of any
(25:38):
interaction that you have withpeople feeling like you were
honest with yourself and youwere real and you were your own
person.
And the last thing we have to doduring this time that will
really help you be able tomanage your eating and manage
your emotions is to be grateful,and gratitude is, hands down,
(25:59):
the best thing that anyone cando.
If practiced daily, it willchange your life.
And it's just acknowledging thethings that you have, the
blessings that you have in yourlife.
And when we acknowledge theblessings that we have and we
recognize them and we thinkabout them, we get more of them
(26:22):
because we attract what we thinkabout.
And so always being in thatplace of the glass half empty,
of what I don't have, that isonly going to send out more of
that scarcity mindset, thatscarcity energy, instead of that
abundance energy.
We always, every single person,has something to be grateful for
, something to be thankful for,and we just have to find it.
(26:44):
So sometimes there's some daysthat it's a little bit harder
than others, but we always wantto be as grateful and as
appreciative for all the thingswe have, even if we feel that we
should be treated in adifferent way or we should have
gotten more.
It's just accepting and knowingwhere you are and knowing what
(27:06):
you have, Because, again, whatyou have will expand when you
are appreciative and when you'regrateful, and it just makes you
feel better.
It just brings that positivityand it's not toxic positivity.
It's legitimately beinggrateful for all the things that
we have, Because as I sit herein my home and I look at my dog
(27:30):
who oftentimes makes me insane,but I'm so grateful, I'm so
grateful for him and his placein my life, I'm grateful for
where I live, I'm grateful foryou, I'm grateful for having
this podcast, having my business.
I'm grateful for you, I'mgrateful for having this podcast
, having my business, and I justsometimes forget those things.
So it's important to alwaysremember every day, daily
(27:54):
gratitude, counting yourblessings and being appreciative
, not just because it'sThanksgiving, but all the time,
making that a daily part of yourlife.
It will absolutely change yourlife and it is something that
will help you be able to be atpeace with where you are on your
on any kind of journey you'reon, on any type of goal setting
journey that you're on, butespecially on a weight loss
journey.
We always want to make surewe're appreciative and grateful
(28:16):
for where we are today.
So I hope these tips have givenyou some ideas of some things
that maybe you can do in goinginto your events and making sure
that you're prepared, that youhave the right mindset, that you
decide.
This is how I want to.
This is how I want to handle it.
(28:36):
We want to always go into anyof our events and any of our our
gatherings with what are some,and it's not looking for
negatives, it's just being awareof what are the potential
triggers and how do I want torespond to them.
How do I want?
And then committing this is howI'm going to respond, this is
what I'm going to do and giveyour brain that plan because it
(28:58):
will relax once it has that plan.
So make sure that you kind ofthink things through and go in
with that grateful attitude ofappreciating everything that you
have, but having a plan for howam I going to handle things,
how am I going to handle thisevent and then go in, execute,
honor yourself, give yourselfthose festive holiday foods that
(29:20):
you love and then make it thebest gathering that you can make
it, avoiding those people thatpossibly could be landmines for
you.
So I hope that everyone has.
I hope this has been helpful.
I hope everyone has an amazingholiday season and, again, we
are all so blessed.
We have so many things in ourlives that we can be thankful
(29:42):
for and appreciative of, and sostarting with that, starting
with gratitude, will always makeevery situation so much
brighter and give you somethingto really really focus on that
will uplift your lives your lifeas well as the lives of those
people around you.
I hope you have an amazingholiday and I will see you all
next week.
(30:02):
And take care and have a goodone.
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