January 8, 2025 • 20 mins
Message me with comments or questions
Can you imagine a life where food is simply fuel, not a source of stress or guilt? On this episode of the Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast, we dive deep into the power of identity-based habits – a revolutionary approach inspired by James Clear's "Atomic Habits."
Forget restrictive diets and unsustainable changes. We'll uncover how aligning your self-talk with the person you want to be can unlock lasting transformation.
Inside this episode, you'll discover:
- The surprising connection between your identity and your eating habits.
- Simple strategies to shift your self-talk and build new, empowering beliefs.
- Why gradual, sustainable changes are key to long-term success.
- How to overcome the urge for instant gratification and embrace the journey.
- A sneak peek into future episodes on habit stacking and non-food rewards.
Listen now and start your journey to lasting transformation.
Don't forget to leave a 5-star review and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it!
Connect with me online:
1. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/breakthroughemotionaleating/
2. You Tube channel, Kristin Jones Coaching: https://www.youtube.com/@KristinJonesCoaching44
3. You Tube channel, Breakthrough Emotional Eating Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@breakthroughpodcast-44
3 . Website: https://www.kristinjonescoaching.com
If you want to learn more about how to stop overeating at meals and lose weight easily, get my How To Stop Overeating At Meals Guide: https://go.kristinjonescoaching.com/stop-overeating
Needing more specific and direct support for your emotional eating and overeating? Check out my online course, Stop Dieting Start Feeling, and my personalized coaching program, Breakthrough To You.
If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to leave a review on the platform you used to listen and share it with your friends on your Instagram stories. Also, be sure to follow me o...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Do you want to lose weight but struggle to stay
committed to a meal plan becauseyou constantly feel hungry?
Does food provide you comfortwhen you are bored, angry,
lonely or sad?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
My name is Kristen Jones andI'm a life coach specializing in
emotional eating and weightloss, and I'm also a lifelong
(00:29):
emotional eater.
I want to provide you withinformation, motivation and
support so you, too, can learnto manage your issues with food
and develop a healthyrelationship with yourself.
Welcome to the BreakthroughEmotional Eating Podcast.
Hi and welcome to theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
(01:03):
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
Being that it's new year, it isa time where people are
oftentimes want to make big,huge, sweeping changes to their
lives, and I will be honest andsay that one of the things that
I've been talking about in myyoga classes and in my fitness
(01:23):
classes that I teach is that Iam not a huge advocate of that.
I'm not a huge advocate of NewYear's resolutions and I'm not
an advocate, in any way, shapeor form, of making huge,
dramatic, sweeping changes inyour life.
I do not think they work, and Iknow they don't work because
your brain doesn't operate thatway.
(01:44):
They work, and I know theydon't work because your brain
doesn't operate that way.
Your brain does not like changeand anything that is dramatic,
that is drastic and moves youout of your normal routine.
Your brain is going to fightagainst and it will do
everything it possibly can tomake you go back to the way you
originally were.
Whether it's healthy or not, itdoesn't matter.
(02:05):
Your brain doesn't care.
It just wants you to stay thesame.
So, knowing that information,when it comes to making changes
or and there's never anythingwrong with making changes it's
not that I'm against peoplechanging.
In fact I am.
I am, I'm a huge supporter ofthat and in fact, I think if we
are stagnant and we don't growand change, that it just it
(02:27):
leaves us stuck in our lives andcan create a lot of unhappiness
in our lives.
So it's really, it really isimportant.
If you feel like there'ssomething that you want to work
on and you want to change, youabsolutely want to be able to do
that and you want to be makethose changes as necessary.
But, with that said, it is soimportant to go about it in a
(02:50):
way that actually is going toget, not necessarily the way you
want to create change, andthere's a different way of
(03:19):
creating change.
Now, I am a researcher.
I study things, I read things.
I did not create this conceptand I will not take credit for
this concept.
I will give credit where creditis due.
This concept it was originallyput forth by James Clear, who
wrote the New York Timesbestselling book Atomic Habits,
(03:41):
and in his book he proposes thatthe regular way that people go
about creating change is bychanging habits and then, over
time, by doing the habits day inand day out and repeating those
habits, they become a part ofyour routine.
(04:02):
And once you have that routineestablished, in theory that
change is supposed to beestablished.
And he pushes against that andsays actually what people do is
the exact opposite of what weshould be doing.
And so what he and what I'mgoing to talk about today, what
he proposes and I have seen thisbe very successful is creating
(04:26):
identity-based habits for change.
So instead of saying I'm goingto do these habits and then,
over time, I'm going to do themand then I'm going to create a
change and that change is goingto become a part of my lifestyle
and then that lifestyle willthen change my identity.
Instead, he says, you do itbackwards.
(04:47):
Instead, you decide youridentity first who do you want
to become and then slowly startto adopt habits that are based
upon the new identity that youwant to have, based upon the new
(05:08):
identity that you want to have,and that you then start proving
that you are adopting thatidentity by doing these small
habits and having these smallsuccesses and wins, and that
reinforces to your identity thatthat is, in fact, who you are.
So it's a very, veryinteresting concept and it
really it.
It kind of just flips the wholeuh, habit, habit formation and
(05:29):
change theorem on its ear.
So it's and it's really, it'sactually quite exciting, and so
it really is something that isvery, um, very doable and it
makes sense when we talk aboutit.
So how do you go about doingthis?
Well, the first thing is youhave to decide okay, so what
(05:51):
area of my life do I want tochange?
What is the thing in my lifethat needs to be changed?
And since this is theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
group and this is theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
podcast, it makes sense that itwould have something to do with
your eating.
So I'm going to just proposethat, say that the identity
(06:13):
change is.
Or the change that we want is wewant to change our relationship
with food.
We want to only eat when we'rehungry.
That's what I will say.
Is that that when somebody onlyuses food as a source of
nutrition, you can enjoy it, butyou don't use it to soothe.
(06:34):
So that that changes.
I want to change myrelationship with food and I
want it.
I want, I want food to becomethe thing that just sustains me,
gets me through the day,provides me with energy, and
it's no longer the thing that Irely on.
It's no longer the crutch, it'sno longer the comforter.
So when you think about likeokay, traditionally we would
(06:58):
think about and say, okay, well,what habits do we need to start
adopting?
Let's not do that.
Let's instead look at what isthe identity that we want to
become?
So we want to become a personwho is uses food for sustenance
(07:19):
and enjoys it, but that's it.
So that is the identity that wewant to take on.
That's the identity.
And so what are the habits thata person who decides that I'm
going to change my identity frombeing a person who turns to
food when they need support,when they need emotional comfort
(07:42):
, when they want to avoid things.
Instead, I'm going to be thatperson who only eats when I'm
hungry and only eats forsustenance.
I enjoy it, but that's it.
It's not for any other purpose.
I use food for what it's for.
So when we make that decision,that that's the new identity it
(08:02):
then becomes, and it begs thequestion, and the questions then
start to be as you move throughyour day and you are presented
with opportunities to use foodto comfort you, to use food in a
way that you have in the past.
That's, when you stop yourselfand you say how would a person
(08:23):
who only eats to survive, howwould they respond when somebody
says something that upsets themand they want to go eat
something?
What would they do instead?
What would that person do?
That person with that identity?
That's what you want to startthinking about, and maybe, so
maybe, in that case, it's whatwould that person do?
(08:46):
Well, that person might callsomebody and talk it out and say
, oh my gosh, this is whathappened.
I'm so upset.
Instead of just automaticallyturning to food, I'm going to
find somebody.
I'm going to find a resource.
That's what that person does, aperson who only uses food for
what it's meant for and not fora comfort actually seeks out a
(09:07):
resource, seeks out somebody totalk to instead of turning to
food.
Okay, we did that.
That's one win.
Okay, that's a win that provesto us that we've done something,
that we can adopt that habit orthat skill and that becomes
that habit.
Is there Now?
Is the habit ingrained?
Absolutely not.
But we recognize that victoryand we take it and we say, okay,
(09:31):
that's something to build on.
So the next time they'represented with another
opportunity to want to go inbecause somebody said something
that really upset them and theywant to go in and they want to
eat everything in therefrigerator, again, it's that
wait a minute, what would aperson who just uses food for
something?
What would they do?
How would they handle things?
(09:52):
Well, maybe what they would dois they would journal about it,
or maybe they would actuallytalk to the person that they're
having an issue with.
Imagine that They'd talk to theperson they're having an issue
with and they'd actually havesome communication.
Maybe that's what they would do.
But again, it's learning andfiguring out.
Okay, if I'm going to take onthis identity, what does that
(10:14):
identity look like and what arethe habits.
So one of the habits that we'vealready established is that
they turned to a friend, theyget a resource, they talk to
somebody about something.
Another habit that they have isthey actually maybe communicate
with the person that they'rehaving issues with.
And so, again, you can see thatnot only are now they are
(10:35):
establishing these habits, butthey're reinforcing them.
They're reinforcing theiridentity, this new identity, and
all the while they're tellingtheir brain that this is who
they are now.
How many times have you toldyourself something that you knew
(10:57):
was going to hold you back, butyou did it to make yourself
feel better?
How many times have you said,oh, I just can't lose weight
because I've got a slowmetabolism or I've got that
thyroid issue.
I can't lose weight becausethat makes you feel better.
But what it actually does is itreinforces with your brain that
(11:17):
, yeah, you can't lose weight.
That's all your brain hears.
It doesn't care about yourthyroid, it doesn't care about
about any of that other stuff.
It just cares about you saying,yeah, but I can't lose weight,
and it says, okay, you're right,you can't, and so you're you.
We want you to.
Your brain always wants you tobe right, so your brain is going
(11:38):
to go along with that all thetime.
So we have to be really careful.
It's kind of that double-edgedsword.
We have to be very, verycareful about what we say,
because our brain hears that andit listens to everything we say
and it does exactly what we say, that we are so your identity.
(11:58):
You have to be very, verycareful about how you speak
about yourself and how you speakabout this identity that you
want to take on.
But the identity and theidentity that you've decided to
take on, every time you do oneof those habits, you're
reinforcing with your brain andwith yourself that this is your
(12:21):
new identity, and then youbecome that person and the
habits just fall into place.
It's pretty stinking amazing.
It really is quite amazing theway um James Clear has kind of
has laid all of this out.
Now, is it going to happenovernight?
Absolutely not, absolutely not,because no change happens
(12:44):
overnight.
And what we get frustrated byis that identity is not
something that changes from oneday to the next.
It's not like you all of asudden wake up and you have this
new identity, and so, like mostof us, when we make a change,
we want it to happen yesterday.
We want that change to happenlike it should have happened,
(13:06):
because I thought about it andthat's just not how it works.
And so, unfortunately for mostpeople, because they don't have
that, they don't see theidentity change right away.
They immediately get frustratedand they're like, oh, this
isn't working.
This isn't working, I shouldjust go back to the way I am,
back, the way things were, andthey just kind of push things
aside.
And so I encourage you to notbe so quick to say, oh no, it's,
(13:33):
it's, it's not working, becauseidentity is not something that
is going to just show itself.
It's going to be a process andit's going to take time.
But with each of those habitsthat you adopt, each of those
things that you do, each timeyou ask that question of what
would a person who is fill inthe blank, whatever the changes
(13:55):
that you want to have happen,whenever you ask yourself that,
and then you actually dosomething based upon, whenever
you ask yourself that, and thenyou actually do something based
upon what you think that personwould do, you are taking a step
in the direction of solidifyingthat as your new identity.
What we tell ourselves is whowe become, and so, if you want
(14:19):
to be a person who has a goodrelationship with food, who can
lose weight and keep it off, youhave to tell yourself I am that
person, and then you have tostart doing things to prove to
yourself that you are thatperson and to prove that those
(14:39):
identity, that identity, isactually becoming ingrained.
I hope that makes a sense.
It really is something that itis.
It's so counter to anythingthat we have ever been taught or
anything that we are ever shown, and so it really is a game
(15:04):
changer.
But again and James Clear talksabout this a lot Change is not
something that happens overnight, and for most of us, because of
this thing that I'm sitting onright now technology.
Because of technology, like, wewant change to happen, like in
(15:25):
an instant.
I mean, how many of you go toclick on a website and if it
doesn't pop up right away,you're like okay, let me check,
is my, is my internet working?
Okay, there's something wrongLike it.
Like, if we get any sort ofdelay, we just we can't tolerate
it.
We cannot tolerate it, and thatis part of our problem is that
(15:46):
we want that instant.
I want change to happen.
I want it to happen now, andthat is not reality and that's
not how it's ever going to go.
And so changing and alteringyour expectations about how
quickly things are going tohappen is extremely important
because, again, when it doesn'thappen right away and you start
(16:08):
telling yourself, oh, this was astupid idea, this isn't going
to work, this is dumb.
Yeah, it's not going to workbecause your brain is going to
go, no, she told me it wasn'tgoing to work, so it's not going
to work.
It's not going to work and I'mgoing to make sure it's not
going to work.
So we have, again, we have tobe very, very careful to not
allow, to not put ourselves inthe position of automatically
(16:32):
sabotaging ourselves, especiallywhen it becomes to these
changes that we know we want tomake.
Okay, all right, I hope thatthat this is a very and I'm
going to be talking aboutidentity I'm going to.
This is a.
This is just the beginning of aseries on how do we create these
(16:55):
habits, just because, again,it's January.
So how do we create habits thatthat, that last, you know how
do we create first.
You know, we're now talkingabout the identity based habits.
Next week We'll be talkingabout, or in the next few weeks,
we'll be talking about how tostack, how to habit stack.
How do you create a habit thatis associated with something
(17:18):
that you already doautomatically?
That's a really cool way ofadding a new habit.
How do you have a reward systemset up for your new habits that
don't involve food?
And so all of these things,they're all so important because
change if we're not again, ifwe're not changing we're, we're,
we're dying.
(17:39):
So we have to.
We have to put ourselves in aposition of being able to grow
and change and learn and developand become the best versions of
ourselves, because we want to.
But how do we go about doingthat while still building
ourselves up and keeping ourself-esteem high and really
living the lives that we want tolive?
(17:59):
That's what this is all about.
I mean, yes, are we here tohave a better relationship with
food and to lose weight?
Absolutely, but it's not assimple as like.
Okay, I just want to make thathappen.
There are so many other layersto this whole thing, because we
are not simple creatures.
We are complex and we have tolook at all the areas before we
(18:21):
take on any sort of change thatwe want to have.
All right.
So, again, moving forward, therewill be subsequent podcasts in
relationship to identity andhabits and how do we go about
creating those habits and thenhow do we actually do them so
they actually stick and how dowe reward ourselves, because,
(18:44):
like anything else, human beingsrespond to reward.
So we'll be talking about thosein the future.
So hope this podcast was thisepisode was helpful and, if it
was, if you would be ever sokind to leave a review and on
the on the platform that you'velistened to, that would be so
greatly helpful and I reallyappreciate you spending your
(19:06):
time.
So, again, lots of otherepisodes to look at and to
listen to, but we'll be comingback next week and in the
subsequent weeks in January totalk more about habits and habit
formation.
All right, we'll see you nextweek.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode.
(19:28):
If you would like to learn howto lose the weight you want and
understand and manage youremotional eating, sign up for my
free Stop Dieting 5-Step Guide.
Go towwwKristenJonesCoachingcom
that'sK-R-I-S-T-I-N-JonesCoachingcom,
(19:50):
and click the stop dieting guidebutton.
Do you want to lose weight but struggle to stay
committed to a meal plan becauseyou constantly feel hungry?
Does food provide you comfortwhen you are bored, angry,
lonely or sad?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
My name is Kristen Jones andI'm a life coach specializing in
emotional eating and weightloss, and I'm also a lifelong
(00:29):
emotional eater.
I want to provide you withinformation, motivation and
support so you, too, can learnto manage your issues with food
and develop a healthyrelationship with yourself.
Welcome to the BreakthroughEmotional Eating Podcast.
Hi and welcome to theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
(01:03):
Podcast.
My name is Kristen Jones andthank you so much for joining me
this week.
Being that it's new year, it isa time where people are
oftentimes want to make big,huge, sweeping changes to their
lives, and I will be honest andsay that one of the things that
I've been talking about in myyoga classes and in my fitness
(01:23):
classes that I teach is that Iam not a huge advocate of that.
I'm not a huge advocate of NewYear's resolutions and I'm not
an advocate, in any way, shapeor form, of making huge,
dramatic, sweeping changes inyour life.
I do not think they work, and Iknow they don't work because
your brain doesn't operate thatway.
(01:44):
They work, and I know theydon't work because your brain
doesn't operate that way.
Your brain does not like changeand anything that is dramatic,
that is drastic and moves youout of your normal routine.
Your brain is going to fightagainst and it will do
everything it possibly can tomake you go back to the way you
originally were.
Whether it's healthy or not, itdoesn't matter.
(02:05):
Your brain doesn't care.
It just wants you to stay thesame.
So, knowing that information,when it comes to making changes
or and there's never anythingwrong with making changes it's
not that I'm against peoplechanging.
In fact I am.
I am, I'm a huge supporter ofthat and in fact, I think if we
are stagnant and we don't growand change, that it just it
(02:27):
leaves us stuck in our lives andcan create a lot of unhappiness
in our lives.
So it's really, it really isimportant.
If you feel like there'ssomething that you want to work
on and you want to change, youabsolutely want to be able to do
that and you want to be makethose changes as necessary.
But, with that said, it is soimportant to go about it in a
(02:50):
way that actually is going toget, not necessarily the way you
want to create change, andthere's a different way of
(03:19):
creating change.
Now, I am a researcher.
I study things, I read things.
I did not create this conceptand I will not take credit for
this concept.
I will give credit where creditis due.
This concept it was originallyput forth by James Clear, who
wrote the New York Timesbestselling book Atomic Habits,
(03:41):
and in his book he proposes thatthe regular way that people go
about creating change is bychanging habits and then, over
time, by doing the habits day inand day out and repeating those
habits, they become a part ofyour routine.
(04:02):
And once you have that routineestablished, in theory that
change is supposed to beestablished.
And he pushes against that andsays actually what people do is
the exact opposite of what weshould be doing.
And so what he and what I'mgoing to talk about today, what
he proposes and I have seen thisbe very successful is creating
(04:26):
identity-based habits for change.
So instead of saying I'm goingto do these habits and then,
over time, I'm going to do themand then I'm going to create a
change and that change is goingto become a part of my lifestyle
and then that lifestyle willthen change my identity.
Instead, he says, you do itbackwards.
(04:47):
Instead, you decide youridentity first who do you want
to become and then slowly startto adopt habits that are based
upon the new identity that youwant to have, based upon the new
(05:08):
identity that you want to have,and that you then start proving
that you are adopting thatidentity by doing these small
habits and having these smallsuccesses and wins, and that
reinforces to your identity thatthat is, in fact, who you are.
So it's a very, veryinteresting concept and it
really it.
It kind of just flips the wholeuh, habit, habit formation and
(05:29):
change theorem on its ear.
So it's and it's really, it'sactually quite exciting, and so
it really is something that isvery, um, very doable and it
makes sense when we talk aboutit.
So how do you go about doingthis?
Well, the first thing is youhave to decide okay, so what
(05:51):
area of my life do I want tochange?
What is the thing in my lifethat needs to be changed?
And since this is theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
group and this is theBreakthrough Emotional Eating
podcast, it makes sense that itwould have something to do with
your eating.
So I'm going to just proposethat, say that the identity
(06:13):
change is.
Or the change that we want is wewant to change our relationship
with food.
We want to only eat when we'rehungry.
That's what I will say.
Is that that when somebody onlyuses food as a source of
nutrition, you can enjoy it, butyou don't use it to soothe.
(06:34):
So that that changes.
I want to change myrelationship with food and I
want it.
I want, I want food to becomethe thing that just sustains me,
gets me through the day,provides me with energy, and
it's no longer the thing that Irely on.
It's no longer the crutch, it'sno longer the comforter.
So when you think about likeokay, traditionally we would
(06:58):
think about and say, okay, well,what habits do we need to start
adopting?
Let's not do that.
Let's instead look at what isthe identity that we want to
become?
So we want to become a personwho is uses food for sustenance
(07:19):
and enjoys it, but that's it.
So that is the identity that wewant to take on.
That's the identity.
And so what are the habits thata person who decides that I'm
going to change my identity frombeing a person who turns to
food when they need support,when they need emotional comfort
(07:42):
, when they want to avoid things.
Instead, I'm going to be thatperson who only eats when I'm
hungry and only eats forsustenance.
I enjoy it, but that's it.
It's not for any other purpose.
I use food for what it's for.
So when we make that decision,that that's the new identity it
(08:02):
then becomes, and it begs thequestion, and the questions then
start to be as you move throughyour day and you are presented
with opportunities to use foodto comfort you, to use food in a
way that you have in the past.
That's, when you stop yourselfand you say how would a person
(08:23):
who only eats to survive, howwould they respond when somebody
says something that upsets themand they want to go eat
something?
What would they do instead?
What would that person do?
That person with that identity?
That's what you want to startthinking about, and maybe, so
maybe, in that case, it's whatwould that person do?
(08:46):
Well, that person might callsomebody and talk it out and say
, oh my gosh, this is whathappened.
I'm so upset.
Instead of just automaticallyturning to food, I'm going to
find somebody.
I'm going to find a resource.
That's what that person does, aperson who only uses food for
what it's meant for and not fora comfort actually seeks out a
(09:07):
resource, seeks out somebody totalk to instead of turning to
food.
Okay, we did that.
That's one win.
Okay, that's a win that provesto us that we've done something,
that we can adopt that habit orthat skill and that becomes
that habit.
Is there Now?
Is the habit ingrained?
Absolutely not.
But we recognize that victoryand we take it and we say, okay,
(09:31):
that's something to build on.
So the next time they'represented with another
opportunity to want to go inbecause somebody said something
that really upset them and theywant to go in and they want to
eat everything in therefrigerator, again, it's that
wait a minute, what would aperson who just uses food for
something?
What would they do?
How would they handle things?
(09:52):
Well, maybe what they would dois they would journal about it,
or maybe they would actuallytalk to the person that they're
having an issue with.
Imagine that They'd talk to theperson they're having an issue
with and they'd actually havesome communication.
Maybe that's what they would do.
But again, it's learning andfiguring out.
Okay, if I'm going to take onthis identity, what does that
(10:14):
identity look like and what arethe habits.
So one of the habits that we'vealready established is that
they turned to a friend, theyget a resource, they talk to
somebody about something.
Another habit that they have isthey actually maybe communicate
with the person that they'rehaving issues with.
And so, again, you can see thatnot only are now they are
(10:35):
establishing these habits, butthey're reinforcing them.
They're reinforcing theiridentity, this new identity, and
all the while they're tellingtheir brain that this is who
they are now.
How many times have you toldyourself something that you knew
(10:57):
was going to hold you back, butyou did it to make yourself
feel better?
How many times have you said,oh, I just can't lose weight
because I've got a slowmetabolism or I've got that
thyroid issue.
I can't lose weight becausethat makes you feel better.
But what it actually does is itreinforces with your brain that
(11:17):
, yeah, you can't lose weight.
That's all your brain hears.
It doesn't care about yourthyroid, it doesn't care about
about any of that other stuff.
It just cares about you saying,yeah, but I can't lose weight,
and it says, okay, you're right,you can't, and so you're you.
We want you to.
Your brain always wants you tobe right, so your brain is going
(11:38):
to go along with that all thetime.
So we have to be really careful.
It's kind of that double-edgedsword.
We have to be very, verycareful about what we say,
because our brain hears that andit listens to everything we say
and it does exactly what we say, that we are so your identity.
(11:58):
You have to be very, verycareful about how you speak
about yourself and how you speakabout this identity that you
want to take on.
But the identity and theidentity that you've decided to
take on, every time you do oneof those habits, you're
reinforcing with your brain andwith yourself that this is your
(12:21):
new identity, and then youbecome that person and the
habits just fall into place.
It's pretty stinking amazing.
It really is quite amazing theway um James Clear has kind of
has laid all of this out.
Now, is it going to happenovernight?
Absolutely not, absolutely not,because no change happens
(12:44):
overnight.
And what we get frustrated byis that identity is not
something that changes from oneday to the next.
It's not like you all of asudden wake up and you have this
new identity, and so, like mostof us, when we make a change,
we want it to happen yesterday.
We want that change to happenlike it should have happened,
(13:06):
because I thought about it andthat's just not how it works.
And so, unfortunately for mostpeople, because they don't have
that, they don't see theidentity change right away.
They immediately get frustratedand they're like, oh, this
isn't working.
This isn't working, I shouldjust go back to the way I am,
back, the way things were, andthey just kind of push things
aside.
And so I encourage you to notbe so quick to say, oh no, it's,
(13:33):
it's, it's not working, becauseidentity is not something that
is going to just show itself.
It's going to be a process andit's going to take time.
But with each of those habitsthat you adopt, each of those
things that you do, each timeyou ask that question of what
would a person who is fill inthe blank, whatever the changes
(13:55):
that you want to have happen,whenever you ask yourself that,
and then you actually dosomething based upon, whenever
you ask yourself that, and thenyou actually do something based
upon what you think that personwould do, you are taking a step
in the direction of solidifyingthat as your new identity.
What we tell ourselves is whowe become, and so, if you want
(14:19):
to be a person who has a goodrelationship with food, who can
lose weight and keep it off, youhave to tell yourself I am that
person, and then you have tostart doing things to prove to
yourself that you are thatperson and to prove that those
(14:39):
identity, that identity, isactually becoming ingrained.
I hope that makes a sense.
It really is something that itis.
It's so counter to anythingthat we have ever been taught or
anything that we are ever shown, and so it really is a game
(15:04):
changer.
But again and James Clear talksabout this a lot Change is not
something that happens overnight, and for most of us, because of
this thing that I'm sitting onright now technology.
Because of technology, like, wewant change to happen, like in
(15:25):
an instant.
I mean, how many of you go toclick on a website and if it
doesn't pop up right away,you're like okay, let me check,
is my, is my internet working?
Okay, there's something wrongLike it.
Like, if we get any sort ofdelay, we just we can't tolerate
it.
We cannot tolerate it, and thatis part of our problem is that
(15:46):
we want that instant.
I want change to happen.
I want it to happen now, andthat is not reality and that's
not how it's ever going to go.
And so changing and alteringyour expectations about how
quickly things are going tohappen is extremely important
because, again, when it doesn'thappen right away and you start
(16:08):
telling yourself, oh, this was astupid idea, this isn't going
to work, this is dumb.
Yeah, it's not going to workbecause your brain is going to
go, no, she told me it wasn'tgoing to work, so it's not going
to work.
It's not going to work and I'mgoing to make sure it's not
going to work.
So we have, again, we have tobe very, very careful to not
allow, to not put ourselves inthe position of automatically
(16:32):
sabotaging ourselves, especiallywhen it becomes to these
changes that we know we want tomake.
Okay, all right, I hope thatthat this is a very and I'm
going to be talking aboutidentity I'm going to.
This is a.
This is just the beginning of aseries on how do we create these
(16:55):
habits, just because, again,it's January.
So how do we create habits thatthat, that last, you know how
do we create first.
You know, we're now talkingabout the identity based habits.
Next week We'll be talkingabout, or in the next few weeks,
we'll be talking about how tostack, how to habit stack.
How do you create a habit thatis associated with something
(17:18):
that you already doautomatically?
That's a really cool way ofadding a new habit.
How do you have a reward systemset up for your new habits that
don't involve food?
And so all of these things,they're all so important because
change if we're not again, ifwe're not changing we're, we're,
we're dying.
(17:39):
So we have to.
We have to put ourselves in aposition of being able to grow
and change and learn and developand become the best versions of
ourselves, because we want to.
But how do we go about doingthat while still building
ourselves up and keeping ourself-esteem high and really
living the lives that we want tolive?
(17:59):
That's what this is all about.
I mean, yes, are we here tohave a better relationship with
food and to lose weight?
Absolutely, but it's not assimple as like.
Okay, I just want to make thathappen.
There are so many other layersto this whole thing, because we
are not simple creatures.
We are complex and we have tolook at all the areas before we
(18:21):
take on any sort of change thatwe want to have.
All right.
So, again, moving forward, therewill be subsequent podcasts in
relationship to identity andhabits and how do we go about
creating those habits and thenhow do we actually do them so
they actually stick and how dowe reward ourselves, because,
(18:44):
like anything else, human beingsrespond to reward.
So we'll be talking about thosein the future.
So hope this podcast was thisepisode was helpful and, if it
was, if you would be ever sokind to leave a review and on
the on the platform that you'velistened to, that would be so
greatly helpful and I reallyappreciate you spending your
(19:06):
time.
So, again, lots of otherepisodes to look at and to
listen to, but we'll be comingback next week and in the
subsequent weeks in January totalk more about habits and habit
formation.
All right, we'll see you nextweek.
Thank you for listening to thisweek's episode.
(19:28):
If you would like to learn howto lose the weight you want and
understand and manage youremotional eating, sign up for my
free Stop Dieting 5-Step Guide.
Go towwwKristenJonesCoachingcom
that'sK-R-I-S-T-I-N-JonesCoachingcom,
(19:50):
and click the stop dieting guidebutton.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.