November 20, 2025 • 22 mins
Are we preparing young people to follow instructions or to solve real problems? We explore a better path with Barry Garapedian—financial advisor, mentor, and author of Winning the Game of Life—who makes a compelling case for teaching value creation as the antidote to uncertainty, inflation, and the AI upheaval. Together, we unpack the hidden curriculum, why compliance still shadows classrooms, and how to build graduates who contribute, not just compete.
Barry maps out his Seven Fs—family, faith, friends, fitness, financial, fun, philanthropy—as a practical life blueprint. We dig into the systems that turn big ideas into daily progress: mentors over guesswork, a color-coded calendar, KPIs for sleep and routines, and 90-day goals across work, personal growth, and wellness. He shares the “impossible goal” that raises your baseline, plus a decision-board approach that keeps your aspirations visible and actionable.
We go tactical with micro-leadership: “practice going first,” replace weasel words, and learn to hold “third vault” conversations that create trust and impact. Barry reframes ADHD as a superpower when paired with structure, and offers an anxiety playbook—never worry alone, get the facts, make a plan. For parents and educators, we lay out how to allow healthy struggle while opening doors to mentors and networks. For students, we emphasize AQ—adaptability—as the new edge in an AI-powered economy, backed by four reliability habits anyone can master.
By the end, you’ll have a toolkit to help young adults measure ROI as return on impact, choose better books and better rooms, and codify shared values with a family constitution. Ready to shift from achievement to contribution and help the next generation become confident problem solvers? Follow the show, share with someone who needs a nudge, and leave a review to help more listeners find us.
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Trusted dental care for healthy smiles and stronger communities—building brighter futures daily.
If you have a story about what's working in your schools that you'd like to share, email me at lisa@drlisahassler.com or visit www.drlisahassler.com. Subscribe, tell a friend, and consider becoming a supporter by clicking the link: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2048018/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (00:19):
As a new school year begins, many recent
graduates and young adults arenavigating their first steps
into the real world, a worldfilled with uncertainty.
Educators have been workinghard to prepare them for what
comes next, but how do youprepare someone for a future
where most of the jobs they'llencounter don't even exist yet?
And how do you equip them foran adulthood in the face of
(00:39):
rising inflation, unaffordablehousing, and a looming
recession?
These are daunting challenges,but perhaps the real question
is (00:47):
what are we really teaching our students about success and
security?
Welcome to the brighter side ofeducation, research,
innovation, and resources.
I'm your host, Dr.
Lisa Hassler, here to enlightenand brighten the classrooms in
(01:10):
America through focusedconversation on important topics
in education.
In each episode, I discussproblems we as teachers and
parents are facing and whatpeople are doing in their
communities to fix it.
What are the variables?
And how can we duplicate it tomaximize student outcomes?
In 1968, Philip Jacksonintroduced the idea of the
(01:30):
hidden curriculum, thoseunspoken lessons students absorb
through school culture,modeling, and expectations.
Jean Anion expanded on thisconcept in her study, Social
Class and the Hidden Curriculumof Work.
She uncovered social classdivides in the methods and
philosophies students wereinstructed in, which prepared
them to occupy specific careerson the social ladder.
(01:54):
Working class schools preparedstudents for routine compliant
roles, where they were trainedto follow directions with little
to no autonomy.
Elite schools developedstudents' intellectual powers to
produce products with the goalof solving problems, skills
aligned with leadership,entrepreneurship, and
innovation.
Barry Garapedian, author ofWinning the Game of Life, The
(02:16):
Seven Lessons You Never Learn inSchool, speaks directly to
this.
Drawing from four decades as afinancial advisor and mentor,
Barry argues that students wholearn to create value rather
than simply follow instructionswon't fear economic instability.
They'll meet it withconfidence, knowing that they
can generate solutions.
(02:37):
He invites us to thinkdifferently, to ask students not
just what they want to be, butwhat problems they want to
solve.
This mindset shift from passiveinstruction followers to active
solution creators has the powerto transform both education and
the trajectory of our students'lives.
Today we'll dive into howeducators and parents can foster
(03:00):
that shift, preparing studentsnot just to survive, but to lead
and thrive in a world full ofunknowns.
Barry is with us today to helpus explore how we can move from
theory to practice.
As the founder of Mag 7Consulting, he spent nearly four
decades mentoring young peopleto do just that, think beyond
traditional definitions ofsuccess.
(03:21):
He brings both real-worldexperience and a deep
understanding of what today'sstudents need to thrive.
Barry, welcome to the brighterside of education.
Barry Garapedian (03:30):
I'm so happy to be here, Lisa.
Heard some incredible thingsabout you and your history.
Awesome.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (03:36):
Oh, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Well, I've got your book here,The Winning the Game of Life:
The Seven Lessons You NeverLearn in School.
And you outlined in this book ablueprint for success in life
beyond the classroom.
So, what are those sevenlessons and how can they help
young graduates navigate thereal world with confidence and
(03:57):
clarity?
Barry Garapedian (03:58):
So the seven lessons are real simple.
It's family, faith, friends,fitness, financial, fun,
philanthropy.
Those seven are my definitionof what is winning the game of
life.
So when we say family, there'sguidelines.
(04:19):
When we say faith, there'sguidelines.
So how do you collaborate thoseseven is winning?
So that is the pillars of how Idefine winning the game of
life.
Those are the seven.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (04:31):
One of the lessons focuses on financial
readiness.
You write about investing ineducation, stepping outside your
comfort zone, honoring yourcalendar, focusing on process
over results, and being avisionary.
Can you expand on those ideas?
Barry Garapedian (04:47):
As far as mentoring, ever since I was a
little boy, my parents investedin us to have lessons in things.
So whether it was martial arts,running, tennis lessons, um,
you name it, we learned theproper techniques early in the
game.
And that translated into when Igot into the business world, I
(05:07):
then hired mentors for me in thebusiness world.
The very first thing I did onWall Street in 1982 is I made a
list of the top 10 producers inthe firm.
And my mindset was find outwhat everybody else is doing and
don't do it.
Find out what the onepercenters are doing.
I made a list, I called them,they didn't know me.
(05:28):
I'm a rookie.
I went out and visited everyone of them and asked them, give
me two hours, I just want toshadow you.
I shadowed them, I took bestideas from each of those people.
I created my own brand, my ownculture.
It started with when I was akid, having mentors.
And the best way to learn isfrom people who are actually
(05:48):
doing it.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (05:49):
You're continuing that by becoming the
model that you see as anecessity.
Barry Garapedian (05:55):
You are in my office right now.
Every 15 minutes is color-codedwith things I need to do.
And what I've done over theyears with young minds is create
a digital dashboard for them ofwhat are the key KPIs or
activities they should be doingto get the result.
So it might be what time areyou in bed by Sunday through
(06:19):
Thursday night?
Uh, what's your eatingprotocol?
Um, what time are you waking upin the morning?
What's your morning routine?
We have a process called winthe morning, win the day.
So there's structure inprocess.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (06:32):
Being a visionary, what's a tactic that
you share for that?
Barry Garapedian (06:35):
The visionary piece is all about having goals.
So, not just written goals,which we have 90-day goals on
business, personal, and wellnessgoals.
We also have something that Idid years ago of having an
impossible goal.
Having something so big, how amI gonna get that?
Why would you do that?
Because it raises the floor.
(06:56):
You have this big goal, itraises the bar.
In addition to those goals, wecreate an image board or a
vision board.
I call a decision board.
So 20 images on a vision board.
It's on my screensaver on myphone.
So these images remind mesubliminally what I should be
(07:18):
doing.
So if I want to be this personor whatever, I'm putting
empowering visions on myscreensaver.
That's a that's an example ofbeing a visionary.
And every 90 days we rewritethe goals, not the images, and
we have structure of what weshould be doing.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (07:38):
Do you have a specific strategy that has made
a big difference in your ownlife or in a student's that's
helped you in these areas?
Barry Garapedian (07:45):
Absolutely.
I'd start with the most basicstrategy I learned when I was
probably in elementary school.
Practice going first.
Be the first to initiate.
Be the first to introduceyourself and shake hands with
someone.
Be the first person to smile atsomeone, be the first person to
say good morning or goodafternoon.
Be the first person in anelevator where everybody's on
(08:08):
the elevator and you're near thebuttons and you're asking
everybody on the elevator whatfloor, please?
Three, four, you're pressingthe buttons.
Why?
This is a micro linear mindsetof demonstrating leadership in a
very micro way.
Leadership, this builds intobuilding self-confidence,
building self-esteem, which bythe way, is the biggest issue I
(08:31):
deal with with young minds isbuilding their self-esteem up.
How do you get to buildself-esteem?
You need accomplishments.
You need a lot ofaccomplishments to feel good.
So I would say practice goingfirst is the first step to
building that mindset.
And that's something I learnedvery early from mentors of mine.
Many young minds are frightenedto fail.
(08:52):
And it and it they theysabotage themselves.
They're in this scarcitymindset, and they're not going
to grow that way.
You have to release yourself.
So the mindset is fail forward.
No one wants to fail, but it'sthe only way you're going to get
ahead is by learning.
And it's either winning oryou're learning.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (09:08):
You talked about self-sabotaging language
and mindset.
One of your posts discussedfour weasel words, try, can't,
need, and bad.
Barry Garapedian (09:18):
Yeah, those words are disempowering.
The mindset should be berelentlessly useful.
In other words, you walk into aroom, how can you add value to
anyone?
So value creation is the gameof there's material value, which
most kids don't have money.
There's emotional value andthere's spiritual value.
You can give emotional valueand spiritual value.
(09:40):
The key is to find out wherepeople are suffering or where
their pain is and find a way tohelp them with their pain or
suffering.
That is a third vaultconversation.
A first vault conversation isin the bank, the first vault,
did the Dodgers win?
It's a beautiful day.
Second vault conversation ismore storytelling, a little bit
(10:02):
more in-depth about who you are.
We want to get into third vaultconversations.
That is where the vulnerabilityand the action is to peel the
onion and get into helpingsomeone.
It's all about being a giverand a value creator.
That is the secret to success,besides being, you know, good in
many other areas.
(10:22):
Schools just don't teach Idon't think they teach
extraordinary.
I don't think they really teachyou how to be great.
You need coaches, mentors,parents to help with that.
You need the fundamentals.
By far, you need thateducation.
But to make you extraordinary,there's other things.
So what's that other thing?
(10:42):
Be a giver, not a taker.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (10:44):
You wrote on your book, true success isn't
about you.
It's about the value you createfor others.
Barry Garapedian (10:50):
Exactly.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (10:50):
And you put a strong emphasis on value
creation.
Why do you believe it's soimportant?
Barry Garapedian (10:55):
It's all about the positive energy that you
have.
By doing positive things, itbrings good energy to me.
So for every one negativeepisode, you need three positive
episodes to offset a negative.
You need a five to one ratio tothrive.
So doing nice things forpeople, what I call that are
lightning strikes.
(11:17):
A lightning strike is exceedingsomeone's expectation on
purpose.
But it doesn't take money toexceed someone's expectation.
It could be a handwritten note.
We teach kids how to writepersonal notes.
It might be two hand notes theyneed to write a week.
They meet someone.
What do you do?
How do you stay connected withthat person?
A hand note.
There might be a text, theremight be a video message.
(11:38):
The game really is aboutconnecting with people.
And connecting with people isabout them, helping them,
creating value for them.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (11:47):
So, how can educators and parents help
students create value and thenalign it with their passions?
Barry Garapedian (11:53):
Okay, so it is all about access.
So I start with the parents.
Don't do too much for them.
So let them have healthystruggles.
Quote, healthy struggles.
And that means let them fail,let them go out and see how
tough it is.
Um, besides that, access topeople in introductions would be
(12:14):
helpful.
So if mom or dad knows someonein the part of the networking
thing, let the young mind getexposed to these other people.
That would be something, or getthe kids involved in mentoring
or coaching or programs thathave structure.
At the end of the day, I seeparents doing too much for their
kids, and it's making theirkids like they don't know what
to do when they get outside ofcollege.
(12:35):
They're just sort of deeringaheadlights.
What do I do?
Dr. Lisa Hassler (12:39):
Right.
Too dependent.
So it's really disempowering.
Disempowering when you when youtake away so much of their
potential independence.
Barry Garapedian (12:49):
You are 100% right on the button with that.
And what I've noticed now, thesuperpower 40 years ago used to
be IQ.
How smart you were.
Then it transitioned into EQ,emotional intelligence.
That was a superpower, and thatstill is to a certain extent.
Now, the new superpower todayis AQ, adaptability.
(13:15):
Can you adapt into this newworld of AI?
AI is not going away.
AI is going to get bigger,bigger, faster than over the
next decade.
It's going to take a lot ofjobs away.
The kids coming out of schoolnow are so blessed with
technology.
They can do things quicker,faster than any 50-year-old can.
And so there's jobs availablefor them.
(13:36):
70, 80, 90, $100,000opportunities getting in the
door because they knowtechnology.
It's the best time for kids, inmy opinion.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (13:44):
I had seen that you had posted instead of
asking kids what they want to bewhen they grow up, ask them
what problems they want tosolve.
So why is that mindset shift sopowerful?
And then how does that reshapehow young people approach their
futures?
Barry Garapedian (13:59):
I want someone who can think outside the box.
I want someone who's creative.
I want I don't want a robot.
I want someone who can addvalue and help me with thinking
differently.
I don't know everything.
Things are changing so quickly.
Every 90 days there's newtechnology out.
So I want free thinkers.
I want folks that aren't afraidto share their ideas.
(14:21):
I want kids that are confident.
I like hiring athletes.
Why?
They've had coaching theirwhole life.
They know the process, they'reorganized, they're disciplined.
So show up on time, do what yousay, finish what you start, say
please and thank you.
Four reliability habits.
Easy.
Most adults can't do those fourthings.
(14:42):
ROI, in the true sense, meansreturn on investment.
To me, ROI is return on impact.
What is the impact you havegoing into a room?
That's the kind of kids I'mworking with.
And I'm developing leaders.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (14:56):
So that's the idea of value creation and then
aligning it with their passionsto feel their fullest potential.
Your approach is to shift themindset into we're here to solve
problems.
And how can you create thatsolution, which does create
entrepreneurs and innovators?
Barry Garapedian (15:15):
With that, there is attributes of high
performers.
It's courage, getting outsideyour comfort zone.
It's obviously confidence,self-esteem.
There's so many attributes tomake someone amazing, but
they're hard.
A big part of what I do withyoung minds is books you read,
the people you meet.
It's the books you read and thepeople you meet.
My kids will read 25 books ayear, two a month.
(15:37):
If you haven't read Shoe Dog byPhil Knight, as an
entrepreneur, you got to readit.
So I'm a big advocate of booksbecause if you want to get smart
and be worldly, it's the booksyou read and the people you
meet.
Collaboratively, you have awinning formula.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (15:53):
So you've got the introduction of ideas,
you've got the language thatthat plays into it.
And then you become theexpectations of the people you
surround yourself with.
So if you are surroundingyourself around uh people that
do not reflect your goals andwhat you want for your life,
(16:13):
then are they holding you backthen for the future that you
want for yourself, yourpotential.
Barry Garapedian (16:20):
You are 100% right.
And I call that you are theaggregate of the five people you
most associate with.
And that's true.
You are the aggregate of thefive people you most associate
with.
So who are you hanging aroundwith?
We know in sports, if you hangaround better golfers, better
tennis players, your game'sgonna go up.
Same thing with academics, samething with winners in business.
(16:43):
So think about who are theseyoung minds hanging with?
And it's a very and it's alsothere's studies on if you're
even around a high performer ina 25-foot area, your game still
will go up by almost 20-30%.
Just being around a highperformer.
So there's all kinds of studieson that, and it's true.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (17:01):
And then the weight of mentors, if you have
that access to mentors who areable to then guide you on high
performing expectations, yourskill level, etc.
Barry Garapedian (17:13):
I can think of all the mentors I had in my
young life, and it was vital tome.
I mean, you can learn thingsout of a book, but when you
learn from someone who'sactually doing it, it's a
completely different ballgame.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (17:22):
Yeah.
And you've openly stated thatyou have ADHD.
So can you share some personaltips for managing it so
successfully?
Barry Garapedian (17:30):
Sure.
Um, well, first of all, I viewit as a superpower.
I view it as an asset, not aliability.
And the way I manage it is byhaving structure and process in
my day.
So I'm very organized in mycalendar.
But I also look at it from thestandpoint of anxiety, which is
real.
There's three things that I do.
Number one, if I go intoanxiety or the little bully in
(17:51):
my head, um, I train my silentvoice to talk positively to me
over years.
So my silent voice is talkingto me in a very positive way.
But every now and then I getinto a gap.
And so, one, if the anxietycomes in, I will articulate
number one, never to worryalone.
So never worry alone, worrywith someone.
Number two is get the facts,Jack.
(18:13):
Usually the information or theit's in high definition and it's
faulty data.
So get the facts, and thenthree, make a plan.
So that's my strategy withanxiety.
And we all have it.
I have it.
I allow that negative energy totalk to me for maybe two or
three minutes, and I say, okay,you're done.
Now I'm gonna have a plan tooffset it.
(18:34):
I've come up with 16 attributesof a high achiever, what they
should be doing, and there'sstrategies on every one of these
16 that are things you've neverheard of.
And you say, Well, gosh,networking.
How do you network?
Um, how if you take anintroverted young mind who is
truly introverted, that won'traise the say anything, how do
(18:56):
you get them to meet people?
Dr. Lisa Hassler (18:59):
Right.
Barry Garapedian (19:00):
I have a strategy.
Very difficult.
I have a strategy for that.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (19:03):
So it's the power of uh connectivity.
You know, how are we connectingwith others?
Barry Garapedian (19:08):
You have to do different.
So again, my opening comment: find out what everybody else is (19:10):
undefined
doing and don't do it.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (19:17):
Yeah, and a lot of these things that you do,
like family constitutions,which reminds me of a school's
mission statement or aclassroom's motto, where you
have that collective thought ofinclusivity.
We're all together in this, wehave a common goal.
Barry Garapedian (19:33):
And you know, when it's in writing, Lisa, it's
another world.
When you write out goals orwrite out a family charter or
family constitution, our familyconstitution, there's seven
pillars, which are the sevenF's: family, faith, friends,
fitness, financial, fund,philanthropy.
I taught my kids that decadesago.
They do it and they're teachingtheir kids.
Legacy.
It's not inheritance, it's it'sall about the values, the
(19:57):
principles.
It starts with parents, butalso having them written.
And they're and they're notlaws, they're guidelines.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:04):
Right.
So a lot of these things youhave in your book, where online
can they access some of theseother things like the mentoring
and things, the services thatyou offer family?
Barry Garapedian (20:13):
Sure.
So um berry atmagsevenconsultants.com.
So Barry atmagsevenconsultants.com.
And you can get the book onAmazon.
And excellent.
So it's really simple.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:27):
Okay.
And so before we go, what isone lesson you hope every young
person carries with them as theystep into adulthood?
Barry Garapedian (20:35):
Absolutely one thing is be a value creator.
Create value no matter whereyou go.
So be in the mindset you'rehelping other people, and it's
about being a giver.
So create value wherever yougo.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:46):
That's wonderful.
Well, thank you so much forsharing your insights and your
experiences with us today.
Your perspective on valuecreation, mindset, and preparing
students for the real worldoffers a powerful reminder of
what's possible when we shiftour focus from achievement to
contribution.
It's really been a veryenlightening conversation.
Thank you so much for yourtime.
Barry Garapedian (21:07):
I'm so happy to be here, Lisa.
Look forward to talking again.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (21:10):
For our listeners, today's conversation
reminds us that preparingstudents for the future goes
beyond academics.
It's about helping them thinkcritically, act with purpose,
and see themselves ascontributors, not just
consumers.
If you have a story aboutwhat's working in your schools
that you'd like to share, youcan email me at Lisa at
drlisaarhassler.com or visit mywebsite at
(21:33):
www.drlisaarhassler.com and sendme a message.
If you like this podcast,subscribe and tell a friend.
The more people that know, thebigger impact it will have.
And if you find value to thecontent in this podcast,
consider becoming a supporter byclicking on the supporter link
in the show notes.
It is the mission of thispodcast to shine light on the
(21:53):
good in education so that itspreads, affecting positive
change.
So let's keep working togetherto find solutions that focus on
our children's success.
As a new school year begins, many recent
graduates and young adults arenavigating their first steps
into the real world, a worldfilled with uncertainty.
Educators have been workinghard to prepare them for what
comes next, but how do youprepare someone for a future
where most of the jobs they'llencounter don't even exist yet?
And how do you equip them foran adulthood in the face of
(00:39):
rising inflation, unaffordablehousing, and a looming
recession?
These are daunting challenges,but perhaps the real question
is (00:47):
what are we really teaching our students about success and
security?
Welcome to the brighter side ofeducation, research,
innovation, and resources.
I'm your host, Dr.
Lisa Hassler, here to enlightenand brighten the classrooms in
(01:10):
America through focusedconversation on important topics
in education.
In each episode, I discussproblems we as teachers and
parents are facing and whatpeople are doing in their
communities to fix it.
What are the variables?
And how can we duplicate it tomaximize student outcomes?
In 1968, Philip Jacksonintroduced the idea of the
(01:30):
hidden curriculum, thoseunspoken lessons students absorb
through school culture,modeling, and expectations.
Jean Anion expanded on thisconcept in her study, Social
Class and the Hidden Curriculumof Work.
She uncovered social classdivides in the methods and
philosophies students wereinstructed in, which prepared
them to occupy specific careerson the social ladder.
(01:54):
Working class schools preparedstudents for routine compliant
roles, where they were trainedto follow directions with little
to no autonomy.
Elite schools developedstudents' intellectual powers to
produce products with the goalof solving problems, skills
aligned with leadership,entrepreneurship, and
innovation.
Barry Garapedian, author ofWinning the Game of Life, The
(02:16):
Seven Lessons You Never Learn inSchool, speaks directly to
this.
Drawing from four decades as afinancial advisor and mentor,
Barry argues that students wholearn to create value rather
than simply follow instructionswon't fear economic instability.
They'll meet it withconfidence, knowing that they
can generate solutions.
(02:37):
He invites us to thinkdifferently, to ask students not
just what they want to be, butwhat problems they want to
solve.
This mindset shift from passiveinstruction followers to active
solution creators has the powerto transform both education and
the trajectory of our students'lives.
Today we'll dive into howeducators and parents can foster
(03:00):
that shift, preparing studentsnot just to survive, but to lead
and thrive in a world full ofunknowns.
Barry is with us today to helpus explore how we can move from
theory to practice.
As the founder of Mag 7Consulting, he spent nearly four
decades mentoring young peopleto do just that, think beyond
traditional definitions ofsuccess.
(03:21):
He brings both real-worldexperience and a deep
understanding of what today'sstudents need to thrive.
Barry, welcome to the brighterside of education.
Barry Garapedian (03:30):
I'm so happy to be here, Lisa.
Heard some incredible thingsabout you and your history.
Awesome.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (03:36):
Oh, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Well, I've got your book here,The Winning the Game of Life:
The Seven Lessons You NeverLearn in School.
And you outlined in this book ablueprint for success in life
beyond the classroom.
So, what are those sevenlessons and how can they help
young graduates navigate thereal world with confidence and
(03:57):
clarity?
Barry Garapedian (03:58):
So the seven lessons are real simple.
It's family, faith, friends,fitness, financial, fun,
philanthropy.
Those seven are my definitionof what is winning the game of
life.
So when we say family, there'sguidelines.
(04:19):
When we say faith, there'sguidelines.
So how do you collaborate thoseseven is winning?
So that is the pillars of how Idefine winning the game of
life.
Those are the seven.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (04:31):
One of the lessons focuses on financial
readiness.
You write about investing ineducation, stepping outside your
comfort zone, honoring yourcalendar, focusing on process
over results, and being avisionary.
Can you expand on those ideas?
Barry Garapedian (04:47):
As far as mentoring, ever since I was a
little boy, my parents investedin us to have lessons in things.
So whether it was martial arts,running, tennis lessons, um,
you name it, we learned theproper techniques early in the
game.
And that translated into when Igot into the business world, I
(05:07):
then hired mentors for me in thebusiness world.
The very first thing I did onWall Street in 1982 is I made a
list of the top 10 producers inthe firm.
And my mindset was find outwhat everybody else is doing and
don't do it.
Find out what the onepercenters are doing.
I made a list, I called them,they didn't know me.
(05:28):
I'm a rookie.
I went out and visited everyone of them and asked them, give
me two hours, I just want toshadow you.
I shadowed them, I took bestideas from each of those people.
I created my own brand, my ownculture.
It started with when I was akid, having mentors.
And the best way to learn isfrom people who are actually
(05:48):
doing it.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (05:49):
You're continuing that by becoming the
model that you see as anecessity.
Barry Garapedian (05:55):
You are in my office right now.
Every 15 minutes is color-codedwith things I need to do.
And what I've done over theyears with young minds is create
a digital dashboard for them ofwhat are the key KPIs or
activities they should be doingto get the result.
So it might be what time areyou in bed by Sunday through
(06:19):
Thursday night?
Uh, what's your eatingprotocol?
Um, what time are you waking upin the morning?
What's your morning routine?
We have a process called winthe morning, win the day.
So there's structure inprocess.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (06:32):
Being a visionary, what's a tactic that
you share for that?
Barry Garapedian (06:35):
The visionary piece is all about having goals.
So, not just written goals,which we have 90-day goals on
business, personal, and wellnessgoals.
We also have something that Idid years ago of having an
impossible goal.
Having something so big, how amI gonna get that?
Why would you do that?
Because it raises the floor.
(06:56):
You have this big goal, itraises the bar.
In addition to those goals, wecreate an image board or a
vision board.
I call a decision board.
So 20 images on a vision board.
It's on my screensaver on myphone.
So these images remind mesubliminally what I should be
(07:18):
doing.
So if I want to be this personor whatever, I'm putting
empowering visions on myscreensaver.
That's a that's an example ofbeing a visionary.
And every 90 days we rewritethe goals, not the images, and
we have structure of what weshould be doing.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (07:38):
Do you have a specific strategy that has made
a big difference in your ownlife or in a student's that's
helped you in these areas?
Barry Garapedian (07:45):
Absolutely.
I'd start with the most basicstrategy I learned when I was
probably in elementary school.
Practice going first.
Be the first to initiate.
Be the first to introduceyourself and shake hands with
someone.
Be the first person to smile atsomeone, be the first person to
say good morning or goodafternoon.
Be the first person in anelevator where everybody's on
(08:08):
the elevator and you're near thebuttons and you're asking
everybody on the elevator whatfloor, please?
Three, four, you're pressingthe buttons.
Why?
This is a micro linear mindsetof demonstrating leadership in a
very micro way.
Leadership, this builds intobuilding self-confidence,
building self-esteem, which bythe way, is the biggest issue I
(08:31):
deal with with young minds isbuilding their self-esteem up.
How do you get to buildself-esteem?
You need accomplishments.
You need a lot ofaccomplishments to feel good.
So I would say practice goingfirst is the first step to
building that mindset.
And that's something I learnedvery early from mentors of mine.
Many young minds are frightenedto fail.
(08:52):
And it and it they theysabotage themselves.
They're in this scarcitymindset, and they're not going
to grow that way.
You have to release yourself.
So the mindset is fail forward.
No one wants to fail, but it'sthe only way you're going to get
ahead is by learning.
And it's either winning oryou're learning.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (09:08):
You talked about self-sabotaging language
and mindset.
One of your posts discussedfour weasel words, try, can't,
need, and bad.
Barry Garapedian (09:18):
Yeah, those words are disempowering.
The mindset should be berelentlessly useful.
In other words, you walk into aroom, how can you add value to
anyone?
So value creation is the gameof there's material value, which
most kids don't have money.
There's emotional value andthere's spiritual value.
You can give emotional valueand spiritual value.
(09:40):
The key is to find out wherepeople are suffering or where
their pain is and find a way tohelp them with their pain or
suffering.
That is a third vaultconversation.
A first vault conversation isin the bank, the first vault,
did the Dodgers win?
It's a beautiful day.
Second vault conversation ismore storytelling, a little bit
(10:02):
more in-depth about who you are.
We want to get into third vaultconversations.
That is where the vulnerabilityand the action is to peel the
onion and get into helpingsomeone.
It's all about being a giverand a value creator.
That is the secret to success,besides being, you know, good in
many other areas.
(10:22):
Schools just don't teach Idon't think they teach
extraordinary.
I don't think they really teachyou how to be great.
You need coaches, mentors,parents to help with that.
You need the fundamentals.
By far, you need thateducation.
But to make you extraordinary,there's other things.
So what's that other thing?
(10:42):
Be a giver, not a taker.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (10:44):
You wrote on your book, true success isn't
about you.
It's about the value you createfor others.
Barry Garapedian (10:50):
Exactly.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (10:50):
And you put a strong emphasis on value
creation.
Why do you believe it's soimportant?
Barry Garapedian (10:55):
It's all about the positive energy that you
have.
By doing positive things, itbrings good energy to me.
So for every one negativeepisode, you need three positive
episodes to offset a negative.
You need a five to one ratio tothrive.
So doing nice things forpeople, what I call that are
lightning strikes.
(11:17):
A lightning strike is exceedingsomeone's expectation on
purpose.
But it doesn't take money toexceed someone's expectation.
It could be a handwritten note.
We teach kids how to writepersonal notes.
It might be two hand notes theyneed to write a week.
They meet someone.
What do you do?
How do you stay connected withthat person?
A hand note.
There might be a text, theremight be a video message.
(11:38):
The game really is aboutconnecting with people.
And connecting with people isabout them, helping them,
creating value for them.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (11:47):
So, how can educators and parents help
students create value and thenalign it with their passions?
Barry Garapedian (11:53):
Okay, so it is all about access.
So I start with the parents.
Don't do too much for them.
So let them have healthystruggles.
Quote, healthy struggles.
And that means let them fail,let them go out and see how
tough it is.
Um, besides that, access topeople in introductions would be
(12:14):
helpful.
So if mom or dad knows someonein the part of the networking
thing, let the young mind getexposed to these other people.
That would be something, or getthe kids involved in mentoring
or coaching or programs thathave structure.
At the end of the day, I seeparents doing too much for their
kids, and it's making theirkids like they don't know what
to do when they get outside ofcollege.
(12:35):
They're just sort of deeringaheadlights.
What do I do?
Dr. Lisa Hassler (12:39):
Right.
Too dependent.
So it's really disempowering.
Disempowering when you when youtake away so much of their
potential independence.
Barry Garapedian (12:49):
You are 100% right on the button with that.
And what I've noticed now, thesuperpower 40 years ago used to
be IQ.
How smart you were.
Then it transitioned into EQ,emotional intelligence.
That was a superpower, and thatstill is to a certain extent.
Now, the new superpower todayis AQ, adaptability.
(13:15):
Can you adapt into this newworld of AI?
AI is not going away.
AI is going to get bigger,bigger, faster than over the
next decade.
It's going to take a lot ofjobs away.
The kids coming out of schoolnow are so blessed with
technology.
They can do things quicker,faster than any 50-year-old can.
And so there's jobs availablefor them.
(13:36):
70, 80, 90, $100,000opportunities getting in the
door because they knowtechnology.
It's the best time for kids, inmy opinion.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (13:44):
I had seen that you had posted instead of
asking kids what they want to bewhen they grow up, ask them
what problems they want tosolve.
So why is that mindset shift sopowerful?
And then how does that reshapehow young people approach their
futures?
Barry Garapedian (13:59):
I want someone who can think outside the box.
I want someone who's creative.
I want I don't want a robot.
I want someone who can addvalue and help me with thinking
differently.
I don't know everything.
Things are changing so quickly.
Every 90 days there's newtechnology out.
So I want free thinkers.
I want folks that aren't afraidto share their ideas.
(14:21):
I want kids that are confident.
I like hiring athletes.
Why?
They've had coaching theirwhole life.
They know the process, they'reorganized, they're disciplined.
So show up on time, do what yousay, finish what you start, say
please and thank you.
Four reliability habits.
Easy.
Most adults can't do those fourthings.
(14:42):
ROI, in the true sense, meansreturn on investment.
To me, ROI is return on impact.
What is the impact you havegoing into a room?
That's the kind of kids I'mworking with.
And I'm developing leaders.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (14:56):
So that's the idea of value creation and then
aligning it with their passionsto feel their fullest potential.
Your approach is to shift themindset into we're here to solve
problems.
And how can you create thatsolution, which does create
entrepreneurs and innovators?
Barry Garapedian (15:15):
With that, there is attributes of high
performers.
It's courage, getting outsideyour comfort zone.
It's obviously confidence,self-esteem.
There's so many attributes tomake someone amazing, but
they're hard.
A big part of what I do withyoung minds is books you read,
the people you meet.
It's the books you read and thepeople you meet.
My kids will read 25 books ayear, two a month.
(15:37):
If you haven't read Shoe Dog byPhil Knight, as an
entrepreneur, you got to readit.
So I'm a big advocate of booksbecause if you want to get smart
and be worldly, it's the booksyou read and the people you
meet.
Collaboratively, you have awinning formula.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (15:53):
So you've got the introduction of ideas,
you've got the language thatthat plays into it.
And then you become theexpectations of the people you
surround yourself with.
So if you are surroundingyourself around uh people that
do not reflect your goals andwhat you want for your life,
(16:13):
then are they holding you backthen for the future that you
want for yourself, yourpotential.
Barry Garapedian (16:20):
You are 100% right.
And I call that you are theaggregate of the five people you
most associate with.
And that's true.
You are the aggregate of thefive people you most associate
with.
So who are you hanging aroundwith?
We know in sports, if you hangaround better golfers, better
tennis players, your game'sgonna go up.
Same thing with academics, samething with winners in business.
(16:43):
So think about who are theseyoung minds hanging with?
And it's a very and it's alsothere's studies on if you're
even around a high performer ina 25-foot area, your game still
will go up by almost 20-30%.
Just being around a highperformer.
So there's all kinds of studieson that, and it's true.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (17:01):
And then the weight of mentors, if you have
that access to mentors who areable to then guide you on high
performing expectations, yourskill level, etc.
Barry Garapedian (17:13):
I can think of all the mentors I had in my
young life, and it was vital tome.
I mean, you can learn thingsout of a book, but when you
learn from someone who'sactually doing it, it's a
completely different ballgame.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (17:22):
Yeah.
And you've openly stated thatyou have ADHD.
So can you share some personaltips for managing it so
successfully?
Barry Garapedian (17:30):
Sure.
Um, well, first of all, I viewit as a superpower.
I view it as an asset, not aliability.
And the way I manage it is byhaving structure and process in
my day.
So I'm very organized in mycalendar.
But I also look at it from thestandpoint of anxiety, which is
real.
There's three things that I do.
Number one, if I go intoanxiety or the little bully in
(17:51):
my head, um, I train my silentvoice to talk positively to me
over years.
So my silent voice is talkingto me in a very positive way.
But every now and then I getinto a gap.
And so, one, if the anxietycomes in, I will articulate
number one, never to worryalone.
So never worry alone, worrywith someone.
Number two is get the facts,Jack.
(18:13):
Usually the information or theit's in high definition and it's
faulty data.
So get the facts, and thenthree, make a plan.
So that's my strategy withanxiety.
And we all have it.
I have it.
I allow that negative energy totalk to me for maybe two or
three minutes, and I say, okay,you're done.
Now I'm gonna have a plan tooffset it.
(18:34):
I've come up with 16 attributesof a high achiever, what they
should be doing, and there'sstrategies on every one of these
16 that are things you've neverheard of.
And you say, Well, gosh,networking.
How do you network?
Um, how if you take anintroverted young mind who is
truly introverted, that won'traise the say anything, how do
(18:56):
you get them to meet people?
Dr. Lisa Hassler (18:59):
Right.
Barry Garapedian (19:00):
I have a strategy.
Very difficult.
I have a strategy for that.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (19:03):
So it's the power of uh connectivity.
You know, how are we connectingwith others?
Barry Garapedian (19:08):
You have to do different.
So again, my opening comment: find out what everybody else is (19:10):
undefined
doing and don't do it.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (19:17):
Yeah, and a lot of these things that you do,
like family constitutions,which reminds me of a school's
mission statement or aclassroom's motto, where you
have that collective thought ofinclusivity.
We're all together in this, wehave a common goal.
Barry Garapedian (19:33):
And you know, when it's in writing, Lisa, it's
another world.
When you write out goals orwrite out a family charter or
family constitution, our familyconstitution, there's seven
pillars, which are the sevenF's: family, faith, friends,
fitness, financial, fund,philanthropy.
I taught my kids that decadesago.
They do it and they're teachingtheir kids.
Legacy.
It's not inheritance, it's it'sall about the values, the
(19:57):
principles.
It starts with parents, butalso having them written.
And they're and they're notlaws, they're guidelines.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:04):
Right.
So a lot of these things youhave in your book, where online
can they access some of theseother things like the mentoring
and things, the services thatyou offer family?
Barry Garapedian (20:13):
Sure.
So um berry atmagsevenconsultants.com.
So Barry atmagsevenconsultants.com.
And you can get the book onAmazon.
And excellent.
So it's really simple.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:27):
Okay.
And so before we go, what isone lesson you hope every young
person carries with them as theystep into adulthood?
Barry Garapedian (20:35):
Absolutely one thing is be a value creator.
Create value no matter whereyou go.
So be in the mindset you'rehelping other people, and it's
about being a giver.
So create value wherever yougo.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (20:46):
That's wonderful.
Well, thank you so much forsharing your insights and your
experiences with us today.
Your perspective on valuecreation, mindset, and preparing
students for the real worldoffers a powerful reminder of
what's possible when we shiftour focus from achievement to
contribution.
It's really been a veryenlightening conversation.
Thank you so much for yourtime.
Barry Garapedian (21:07):
I'm so happy to be here, Lisa.
Look forward to talking again.
Dr. Lisa Hassler (21:10):
For our listeners, today's conversation
reminds us that preparingstudents for the future goes
beyond academics.
It's about helping them thinkcritically, act with purpose,
and see themselves ascontributors, not just
consumers.
If you have a story aboutwhat's working in your schools
that you'd like to share, youcan email me at Lisa at
drlisaarhassler.com or visit mywebsite at
(21:33):
www.drlisaarhassler.com and sendme a message.
If you like this podcast,subscribe and tell a friend.
The more people that know, thebigger impact it will have.
And if you find value to thecontent in this podcast,
consider becoming a supporter byclicking on the supporter link
in the show notes.
It is the mission of thispodcast to shine light on the
(21:53):
good in education so that itspreads, affecting positive
change.
So let's keep working togetherto find solutions that focus on
our children's success.
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