The quickest, most effective, most sustaining way to change our children's behavior or anyone's for that matter, is by doing the work on ourselves to be clear and present to make sure we are not coming from our our wounding.
Until we do this work- our wounding is enmeshed deeply into us and we are unable to tell and of course control our own behavior. That's what the wound/trauma does- it controls you because at one point, it was absolutely necessary for your survival to be this way.
The thing is, you're not that 4 year old or that partner in that abusive relationship anymore. But your mind doesn't know this until you heal.
Until you heal, your mind continues to interpret new situations as the old.
And then it takes over. In a moment, you become hijacked- your behavior completely changes.
Our children, parents, and partners, and those closest to us are the first line of our awakeners. They will consistently trigger us (an act of grace really) so that we can WAKE UP and look at ourselves.
Are you ready to do the work? Let's do it together.
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