105. Matrix, Adam and Eve, and Hyper-Awareness

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Well, you know, my life really isn't that great.

(00:30):
Whatever is on your heart in your mind if that makes sense,
speaking about whatever. No judgment you put in their
head. Let it flow just like what the
other bread you get in my drift.A point of view for my lens in a
story and glitz. No feel to say what it is
undescripted. No need to watch what you said
if the truth hurt bro. Therapy is the meds.

(00:50):
I said this is the pro therapy show.
I said this is the pro therapy show.
This is that uplift to you that had you.

(01:23):
Basic living. They're like, Oh no, it's OK,
you can't afford all that. Give it up.
They'll be like, give it up. Wrap it up like you don't.
Realistically, you don't really.Need to live like out here in
the real world, you could have just the greatest life as us in
the virtual world and it won't cost you anything like because

(01:46):
there's no way you're going to achieve generational wealth
anymore. Like we control AI, we control
all these things like no, no, no, let us live in the real
world and to save the earth, save society, save resources,
all this stuff. The rest of you guys have to
live in the virtual world. You have to live in the matrix.

(02:06):
You have to. That's the only way you're ever
going to be able to have anything.
You're not going to be allowed to own anything.
And then and then you know what it's like.
I could already see it because like I see it with the podcasts
and stuff that I listen to now or like people when they just

(02:27):
talk about AI in general, they're like it's so good.
Like soon it'll be as good as reality and it'll be
indiscernible from reality and this and that.
And it's like right now y'all talk about that shit and it
sounds crazy and it's like Oh myGod, it's so cool.
Wow. And there's going to be a ton of
people that jump on for it, right?

(02:51):
Because they're like, oh, it's so fun, It's so cool.
It's like just as real as the real thing.
And y'all are going to walk straight into the fucking like
the next part where then they'rejust like, yeah, we really can't
afford to have everybody have like this like, like the the
good life with like the reverse.It's better if we if we'll do

(03:14):
like they'll even do like an incentive probably.
I can see it now bro. They'd be like the first 5
million people that agree and sign their life up to live in
the virtual world instead of thereal world.
We'll get like, some kind of like, bonus bonuses, just like

(03:38):
in video games, Yeah. And it'll be like if you're one
of the 1st 5 million people to sign your life up to the virtual
world, like hand away your life to the virtual world, you'll get
a exclusive only for the 1st 5 million people like this many
tall mansion or like this amountof like starting points or you

(04:03):
know what I mean? Like they'll come up with like
some kind of like early adoptersbonuses to incentivize people
like, well, you know, my life really isn't that great.
And if I just sign up for this thing now for one of the 1st 5
million, like I can have a what?You're going to give me what?
I'm going to have 5 million credit cash?

(04:25):
Like I'm going to have like a three story house.
I'm going to have like whatever fucking you name it, it doesn't
fucking matter, right? People are going to fucking sign
their life away like it's nothing.
Like it's nothing and it's like it's, it's like eerie because

(04:49):
like when I listen to AI, peopletalk about AI and like listening
to the talks about like the 3D worlds getting so good this and
that. It's like these people that push
these things, the people that push the AI, they're like, oh,
it's going to be the problem solving thing like forever.
Donald Trump just fucking did your executive order today or

(05:09):
yesterday on AI? What do you do?
He said he made it illegal for states to regulate AI to create
laws that regulate AI development.
Got it. Very well.

(05:30):
Nobody is going to fly. I mean, it's an executive order.
I don't see the Supreme Court backing that because that means
they would have to XNA on statesrights.
That's a good point. So it just won't happen.
Yeah. Unless it does and in which case

(05:50):
that it does like, oh, y'all aredone.
Like if that goes through, if that goes through, those are the
new robber barons. Those are the those AI people
are going to be the Rockefeller and the that's it.
It's over for y'all. Y'all don't get it.
Like it it. It'll be like that.
Yeah, because they own the weapon.
They own the tool. Like you really think you're

(06:12):
going to get to benefit off of it more than they will before
you? Yeah.
Love fuckers and Congress be trading stocks before you get to
trade stocks you really like. Come on, bro, y'all are dumb.
It's crazy. There's just a lot happening.
It's kind of eerie. It's spooky, right?
It's spooky. I mean, like, I think we're

(06:33):
good. I just have this like weird dumb
feeling that we're good. Yeah.
Like that shit will be all right.
Like I really feel like that. Yeah.
But it, I, I think like why it gets to me so much is because
it's like more and more I'm trying not to be like, I really

(06:53):
believe the best in people, but more and more I start to feel
like people. It's not, it's not that people
are stupid, although it feels like it, these people are naive
and gullible. It's very easy to just be like,
at least people are all stupid. It's like, no, I think a lot of
people are just naive and gullible.
And some people just don't know better.

(07:14):
And I thought they don't or knowenough, they're not educated
enough. And some people don't have the
capacity to even retain the right information, which is a
whole another conversation. Okay yo, that shit all kind of
really Spooks me out. I like my example.

(07:40):
I thought about it in the moment, My they're going to be
like the new Rockefellers and stuff.
Yeah, I like that. That's on because that's what
it'll be. I'll have control over
everything going forward. I feel like it's already that
now they're just being just big time.
They're being gracious. They're being gracious towards
us by saying like, we'll, we'll keep letting you guys think

(08:05):
what? We'll, we'll give you the grace
to allow you to still have faithin democracy.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like, they're, they're just likethis.
This is just like for y'all's little show.
Like, so y'all can feel like you're doing something.
Yeah. I feel like I've been really

(08:32):
getting spooked out with something lately.
OK, but before you get into that, yeah.
Does that pertain to what I had Just.
Yo, does that pertain to what I said or relating to it?

(08:52):
The thing that you guys spooked out about pretends you because I
do want to hear more about what?OK.
Go for talking a bit. OK.
Because I want to hear more feedback on it, if that's
possible. Feedback on what you said.
Yeah, what I was what I just said a minute ago is some
feedback towards it. I really think what you said is

(09:13):
dead on and I think it's alreadythe case.
Think about fucking. I'll just jump right back into
the feedback. Think about see me and you have
gone down some really deep rabbit holes when it comes to
the the the realms of history, capitalism, oligarchy, the

(09:37):
building up and falling down of countries and empires, right?
So if everything about America is evolved, society, the
economy, the industry, the everything, the government,
everything is evolved, why wouldn't the the realm of
oligarchies also evolve? It ain't like everything else

(10:00):
evolved in. And that was the small little
part of the American backbone that just went away.
No, they just got more secretive.
No, it's like these we're talking about people that have
like maybe more money than the actual country just by let's

(10:22):
just go with like disgusting traditional manly thinking.
Yeah. You can't say shit to a man
that's got way more money than you, that's got like you just
slap you around with his money. Like what's the government
really going to say to Elon Muskwhen Elon Musk got more money
than him? It's like he'll.

(10:43):
Just go somewhere else. Yeah.
It's like you can't even. Although to be fair, Elon
doesn't have more money than thegovernment.
Yeah, you're right. I, well, I, I assume you're
right, but he definitely don't know.
He definitely has some fuck you money.
Yeah, he has enough to have fuckyou money.
But he also has to be careful about how he goes.
Fuck you. Because, like, his companies are

(11:06):
now tied to the government, likeSpaceX works like internal with
with NASA and the US government.So, like, he has to play ball.
Yeah, He has to play ball back with him.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I guess I'm trying to validate you.
But he is doing some trying to do some Rockefeller stuff, too.
Can we call them tech oligarchy?Absolutely.

(11:28):
That's what Bernie calls them. I mean, that's what they are.
There we go. Shout out to Bernie.
Oh, fucking it was. Those are all the tech oligarchs
catching heat right now. OK.
Yeah, I think I, I was just saying that to say that I think
you're right. I just think it's already the
case. I think it's always been the

(11:50):
case that not to get too spooky.If it's too spooky, we can cut
it out. But in chain of command for this
life experience when it comes tohumans, right, It's it's the
IRS, the feds, the CIA. And I'm being cute by saying the

(12:18):
Illuminati, call it what you will, oligarchies.
OK, but that's just my chain of command because my chain chain
of command goes aliens, deep state.
OK, but that is, is deep state. Where does CIA fit in deep
state? Deep state is deeper than CIA.
OK, deep state, if aliens is number 1, is the deep state if

(12:41):
we're having fun, if we're having fun, Yeah, if we're
having fun to have some fun in this, right?
If the aliens are #1 yeah. Then the deep state is like
alien, human alien hybrids and like other deep states of the
world, like in collaboration forlike a wider human network, like

(13:04):
they're the ones like pulling the put plays when it comes to
like global conflict and like really like seeding the way
everything plays out after that deep after the deep state.
All right, then it's tech oligarchs right now.

(13:28):
That's how powerful I think theyare right now.
Because I would agree. I don't think people realize the
tech oligarchs have more power, more information, and the the
modern weaponry to be able to utilize it in a way that doesn't

(13:50):
get their spot blown up. Because instead of fighting a
war against governments and countries for power via bombs,
they're fighting a war against them by whole.
Like by creating a system that gathers everything every single
government in a war in the worldwants on their citizens.

(14:14):
And they, they, that's their andyou and everyone just signs up
and does it all like for free. So they're like top, top
control. Like they really they can.
Tech companies could quite literally like shift the entire
world's. This is why like the acquisition
of of Twitter by Elon Musk was such a big deal just in general.

(14:38):
Like these ideas of like some rich person coming along and
acquiring a social network or like a high traffic website is
because they can shift the innerfocus and like adjust how people
think about things through theirwebsites.

(15:00):
So they're, that was the, that was what I was going.
So they can, they, if they wanted to, they could even
mobilize like more than a country.
They can mobilize countries. They can mobilize the.
No, like no government on Earth can do that.
So it's like aliens do anything about it.
Exactly. Because then it's the wider mass
of people and they're, and they can get to that point because

(15:22):
they're not fighting a war with bombs.
Yeah. Because if they were fighting a
war with bombs, we'd just go right in there and boom.
And that would be it. So aliens, deep state tech
oligarchs, Reese, like the resource, the people in charge

(15:45):
of resources, yeah, oil and stuff like that.
Those people. And then China.
No. And then it comes like right
above, governments would be likeour old thinking of robber
barons and like the banks and this and that and then
governments and then whatever else.

(16:06):
I can't, I can't really argue with that lineup either.
I'll make this brief, maybe a little bit of a rhetorical
question, but real quick, we talked about it a handful of
times, how the people who reallyput an end to Napoleon was like
the Rockefellers and and shit when they grew tired and were

(16:32):
peeved by him, you know what I mean?
So like, they can, they were able to move money way quicker
across Europe than governments could.
And that's what, like, really helped.
Intellectual property is the newgold.
Yeah, so the rhetorical part, I guess, is what would really stop

(17:02):
all the tech owners from banningtogether and making just making
world decisions. And who the fuck could really
stop them? Who says they already don't
that? Yeah, yeah.
Who says they're not playing their own like herder herder ha

(17:24):
ha ha. 4D chess, like with the rest of everything happening
yeah watch pal into your fuckingpull up just it's crazy.

(17:46):
Can we I'm sorry I'm meeting Chipotle.
I'm disgusting on the pod, but look realness we're we're
recording right yeah, we've beenrecording OK good about 15
minutes fire. So let's talk about can we spend

(18:08):
like 20 minutes on a different topic that's pretty parallel
with what we're absolutely. All right.
Well, the one tangent I wanted to go on is that I started
getting I I feel like I'm I'm being very aware of Mandarin

(18:29):
content in my algorithm and it spooked me out you on TikTok on
my YouTube, on my Instagram. OK, I have been kind of staying
away from TikTok a little bit like Chinese content.
Yeah. But well, here's the first

(18:50):
thing. I bought a smart watch from the
thrift store for $15 and it's a really, really nice watch and it
got a business spiral. Yeah.
So I bought the watch. I bought the watch and it's
really nice and it does almost. I would say it does 95% of what

(19:15):
an Apple Watch does. Hold on.
And it was $15 and it connects to my iPhone Fire.
What else do you need? What?
Well, where I started getting spooked was when you go to
download the app for your phone to connect everything, that app

(19:37):
is in Mandarin and everything isin Mandarin.
There's not even English anywhere.
OK. So then in my head I'm thinking
like, Yo, is this some Huawei type shit?
No, that's funny. Well, I like wore it for a
couple weeks and I don't know, man.
It just was really just eating at me and bothering me.

(20:00):
And then the more it would ask my phone for like the the
permissions all this time, like how it made you really think
about your your privacy. Yeah.
And then also because it was going to a different country.
Well, I think, I don't know if the Internet just has spooked me
out or if I really had like a feeling like if I was really

(20:25):
sensing something, the watch when you connected Bluetooth,
there wasn't just one Bluetooth,there was 2 Bluetooth you had to
connect to. So then that made me think like,
well, that's weird. So there's all these little
things that were like just was just weird.
So I ended up just deleting the the app from from my phone.

(20:57):
Then I called, I called my homieand then I left them a voice
note, a voicemail because they didn't answer right.
So then they texted me back a little while later and they were
like, yo, dude, you fucking you sent me a, a a message, but it's

(21:20):
in, it's all in Mandarin. Shut the fuck up.
Yo, I'll show you. Yo, shut the fuck up.
What did you did you translate it?
What's it say? Hold on.
I'll show you. I'll show you.
I'll see. Yo, nice phone case.
I I like every time I see that phone case is a nice one.
Yeah. Remind me, Century.
I got to talk about some shit. Yo, I got a really fucking vent.

(21:41):
I was so embarrassed last night.Uh oh, I was so embarrassed.
Actually, that's way more fun than what I'm about to talk
about. Oh, right here.
Look, she just sent me this screenshot.
What is it? I want to know what is.

(22:03):
That's weird. I've never seen some shit like
never me neither dawg. So then now I'm getting spooked
out even more. So now on my like in my
algorithm, there's videos that like I'll just say I relate to a
lot. Like there's this one video
where this bitch is like he's getting Chinese filled.

(22:23):
I am bro. There's this one video where the
bitch is like, who smokes weed at 8:00 AM?
And then another one pops up andit's like, plot twist, it's 4:00
AM bitch and I do or whatever, right?
It's like, Oh yeah, relatable. And all those types of videos
that are funny but relatable andshit, the descriptions and the

(22:45):
profile pages and shit, all Mandarin.
So I'm super spooked. I'm not even kidding.
This is funny and this is a bit,but I'm being 100% sincere and
it's a great bet. It's a great bet.
It Spooks me. Delete your cookies.
How do I do that? You find out.
All right, I'll figure that out,but that'll do just delete your

(23:07):
cookies and see what happens. All right, it's gonna like
you're gonna have to re sign into a lot of stuff Yeah.
So save your passwords for everything that you know see
that shit even Spooks me Save your passwords for everything
that you know before you do it. Yeah.
Delete your cookies when you go to websites, cookies will hold
like retain small amounts of information Yeah.

(23:29):
So like when you go to a websiteand it the save password,
remember password stuff that's like included in cookies?
Yeah. So you're probably going to lose
passwords for a lot of your stuff.
Yeah. So if you don't have them,
you'll have to go through the recovery.
But but those same cookies are cookies that like Instagram and

(23:53):
all these apps use to see like what you're interested in, what
you're looking at, what you're spending time on to market to
you better and feed you better things on your algorithm.
So deleting your cookies might solve the issue.
I'm gonna look you might get a little like a reboot.

(24:13):
OK, Ground Zero moment where youjust like brand new human who's
this like you could re craft your whole algorithm.
Maybe I I might be OK with that.Actually, that might be fun.
That that might be fun. Yo, can I tell?
I want to tell you about last night?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is don't, don't don't go

(24:39):
too hard on my friend. All right, All right, OK.
Because you're going sometimes I'll be saying shit to you for
the sake of the bit, right? And I don't know if I'll be
triggering you or what, but you'd be like, you just go off
the rails sometimes. You'd be like, oh, shit, my bad.
If I do that now you're doing this.

(24:59):
Yeah, I definitely don't notice if I'm going off the rails.
I'm really I just something got me, man.
I had this like, Oh, well, the, I guess the reason I said don't
go too hard because I know that no one really meant anything
bad, like malice or whatever, OK, You know how adults get when

(25:20):
like they're drinking and shit and everything's like loosey
goosey and funny and shit talking and all that, right?
Yeah. Last night I had a fire ass
night. I was in a shark tunnel eating
tacos, aquarium. Yeah, drinking screwdrivers.

(25:40):
Oh yeah. Oh it was so much fun.
I went as a plus one with my friend Kat.
So we're at this table now. There's this man there, right?
And he has on his, what do you call it, laser the jacket to
your suit, right? Red velvet.
And then like the collar and shitting around the cuffs, black

(26:04):
velvet. Shit looks so nice, right?
And I'm watching it the whole night, this guy walking around
with his jacket. So about 10 screwdrivers later,
we're at the table eating dinnerand he walks by again.
And I'm like, I love that man's jacket.
I just want to touch that man's jacket.

(26:26):
My homies looking at me like, what the fuck?
And I'm like, no, like that jacket looks like it feels so
satisfying. And I don't know, I just felt, I
felt embarrassed because I felt like no one was understanding
what I was saying. So I upped the ante and I was
like trying to explain myself and I'm like, no, all I'm saying

(26:47):
is the jacket seems very stimulating to me.
And then they're like stimulating.
And. There was one guy at the table,
the only black guy. That's not important.
I don't know why I'm I'm mentioning that, but he goes, he
goes. I get it, man.
It's like a century thing. I was like, yeah, yeah, it's a

(27:07):
sensory thing. And then he gave me a pound and
everyone else just kind of went back to their that's that's so
cool. Yeah, that's so cool.
Somebody else noticed. Yeah, that's fire.
Yeah. Yeah.
That was like, thankfully for that because I was I, my face
was probably as red as like whatever, because I felt like

(27:29):
really embarrassing. The more I was trying to explain
that it was just a weird brain thing, the more gayer I sounded
and everyone's looking at me like.
Oh man. You know what I mean?
Like, yeah. And I'm like you obviously I'm
not homophobic, but I'm panicking and shit and I'm like,
no, no, like I'm trying to get abrain stimulation, not Dick
stimulation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(27:56):
That was my night. It was fun.
And I met a Penguin named Poppy.Oh, shit.
Yeah. Poppy.
Yeah. And I was eating some loaded
tots while I was hanging with Poppy.
Loaded tots and Poppy. Poppy.
Wait, what's his name? Poppy.
Poppy. Poppy.
Poppy. Is that what you said the first
time? Yeah.
Poppy. Poppy.
Yeah. Like Puerto Rican Poppy.

(28:17):
POPPY. Like trolls.
Poppy. Oh, Poppy.
Like trolls. OK, protest.
Poppy, you were talking about all that and I low key think I
had a realization that like, ironically, like, I know I say
it a lot and I know you like, give me shit for it, but like, I

(28:39):
think I really just had a momentwhere I think I, like, realized
I really am autistic. Yeah.
Yeah. But can I just say, yeah, I just
remember a really funny time where you were like, I bro, I
know I'm autistic because this blind man does this.
And I'm thinking in my head like, what does the blind doing

(29:02):
something have to do with being autistic, bro, 'cause you were
saying you were pointing out D madness.
He always has like century. Cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Accessories, yes right.
And you're like, there it is. I know I'm autistic now, like,
because of the blind man and his, like, global aesthetic,
Right. Anyway, it was funny in my head,

(29:23):
but I thought about you after that whole situation.
Yeah. I'm like, twin would have
understood. Oh, hell yeah.
Yeah. Exactly.
Exactly, man. Exactly.
Yeah. I would have been right there
with you. But fucking, I think I genuinely
had the realization that I'm like, for sure on the spectrum a
tiny bit, the reasonable amount because like I I just realized

(29:46):
like an experience I have, like my whole life wasn't just like a
normal life experience while youwere talking about that.
Yeah. Because I was thinking about
like, I know velvet supposed to feel good.
Yeah. The idea of velvet makes my skin

(30:07):
crawl and feel like very prickly.
Like if I think about velvet it like I can feel it on my
fingertips. Like very, what's the word?
Not realistically, but like viscerally I can feel it.
Like when you talk about velvet or like corduroy and stuff, like

(30:29):
it makes me crawl. I love it.
Like I love how it looks. I understand the concept like a
cat. I would expect those things to
feel like a cat. Uh, uh, uh, they don't, right?
They feel terrible. They feel like really horrible.

(30:52):
Like it makes my skin crawl likeI can when I literally feel it
over my body, like when you talkabout those things.
So then I'm thinking like, you know what else feels like that?
Like microfiber cloth, Like I really hate I can, it's like I
can feel the individual threads like on my fingerprint lines,

(31:13):
like it's so bad. It really just I but I should, I
want to use them because they'regood for my hair, but I can't
get over. I can't even hold one without
feeling like I'm going to shake.It's so bad.
But I thought this was like justthe normal kind of like
experience of like, some people like how things feel, some
people like how things feel powder.

(31:37):
Some people like how things feeland some people don't.
And I thought that was just likethe normal, like, some people
do, some don't. Yeah.
And then like there was just this moment of connection where
like my experience and knowledgeabout some autistic things.
And then you talking about this and this moment where I'm like,

(31:57):
I don't think I'm supposed to feel so like compulse, not
compulsive, but like, repulsed, just overloaded.
Yeah. Overloaded.
Maybe like sensory overload. Yeah.
Just thinking, thinking about those things puts me into
sensory overload in an uncomfortable way.

(32:18):
I have things like that, too. And cotton balls.
Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no.
I wonder what this is. No, this is interesting.
So I'm like, oh, this is. I'm fucking on the spectrum,
that's for sure. I know that's an autistic trait,
but like, I've never thought about it like that.
But we know that's an autistic trait, right?

(32:40):
Yeah, yeah. Well, we think, right.
No, I'm pretty sure. I think it might be like.
A main like no, I'm not just saying shit.
No, I'm not and I'm not I'm withyou, OK With you OK OK.
I'm just saying that my whole understanding of things has

(33:03):
really, really been rocked lately, even with autism.
Because man, I guess I'm just relearning over and over and
over and over again that like there's just so many different
experiences. There's no cookie cutter like
size to life. Because even like the autistic
loved ones that I've raised and that I've like they're a part of

(33:27):
my family and love and stuff like in my head, when I'm
evaluating the level of Tislemanpeople, I always like that's the
base judgement. But it's like their their
basetism is crazy, but it's so it's so it's so different

(33:48):
because human beings are so different and like their their
their personal individuality. I was actually in like this
debate with a friend and I'm like, well, we were having a, a
conversation about the would andwhat and do of autism.

(34:10):
And I'm like, I know like 7 people that because their
autism, they won't autistic, they won't do this.
And she's like, well, I know like 7 people who are autistic
and they, they do it because of this.
And it's like, so then I go, I was like, all right, well, you
know some people and I know somepeople.
So what are we going to do aboutthis situation?
And it's like, it's just humans.People are different.

(34:33):
Yeah. Well, you know what my
girlfriend would say in this world?
Tell me. She would say it's.
It's called a spectrum for a reason, honey.
I like that. That's what she said.
She's hit me with that. She's hit me because I was like
having like a moment with her about something else.
I forget what it was. We were watching Love on the
Spectrum and we were like talking about something.

(34:55):
And then I was relating to someone and I was like, but it's
just crazy. And like, we're like comparing
people and their different things.
Yeah. And just the drastic
differences. And I was relating to something
on a couple people. And I'm like, I'm like, OK,

(35:16):
that's cool. That's cool.
Like these are cool people too. And then we were getting into
something about being relating to one of the trades.
And then she's like, that's yeah, that's what it's called a
spectrum. It's like it's different.
It's what very different. I fucking, I love that.
That's great, right. I fuck with that.
That's, that goes hard. That's that's a, that's a

(35:38):
conversation killer right there.Yeah.
It was like, I was like, no, you, you right.
That's the period. You right, baby.
Shit. Speaking of like different
experiences and shit, there was a realization that I had this
week that I I obviously was likekind of always obviously there,
but like, it's just weird how like things finally get through

(36:01):
to you in your head and like theweirdest, most mundane ways or
whatever. Like right now.
Yeah. Can we pull something up and
just watch like a minute or something?
Yeah, and then I'll say why I want to, why I wanted to just
take a look at it, go to YouTube, and then I'll get your

(36:22):
thoughts on it. And it could tie into everything
that we've been talking about. Put it up on the big screen.
Oh, that's not it. What is it?

(36:48):
Damn, Andrew. It was a round table.
It was Andrew Schultz, Charlemagne to God.
But just type in Andrew Schultz.That's Charlemagne podcast.

(37:10):
But yeah, you Scroll down, maybeit does pop up a little bit.
Oh, that's them probably talkingabout what I want to pull up.
Oh, wait, wait. Is that it?
Yeah, The one right there. Journalism interrupted.

(37:32):
Should people still trust the media in 2025?
OK, All right, now you can literally.
Oh, hold on. Let me just explain real quick.
I don't know what this show is. It's by the New York Times.
If it's been around for a while,this is the first, like,
exposure I've had to it. My algorithm throw it at me.
I listened to it. I worked the other day and I was

(37:54):
just like, I enjoyed it for the simple fact that like there was
so many, there was so much opposition at the table, but it
was such a like peaceful fuckingargument.
Ben Shapiro's there. There's a couple other big media
people there. I think someone from MSNBC,

(38:16):
Andrew Schultz is there, Charlemagne to God is there and
thank God those two are there because their humor and racist
jokes and like sexist jokes kindof like brought the right
likeness to the conversation to keep it like in the peaceful
place. OK, that it that it wasn't
right, Andrew. That's just comedians.

(38:39):
But they have they get into a lot of like the administration
right now and they like go back and forth.
But it was it was, I don't know,it was super peaceful and
helpful and insightful in my opinion.
And they all jump on Andrew Schultz ass about Donald Trump.
And I think that the him coming on the pod, I think that was

(39:01):
like a really great part of the conversation to listen to.
But anyway, hit play and you canliterally skip to any part of it
you want and we'll listen to like a minute of it.
No. I would say the opposite.
I would say the fact that like I'm not leaning into one do.

(39:22):
You know any of the faces at that table?
Every single group, right? And it's like that's a choice
I'm making the easiest. Way like people I didn't name so
didn't get recognition. Keep on spouting what people
want to believe. But Andrew is also really
insane, so that's the difference.
Yeah, Terry, you. Don't have to say insane things.
Really. No.
It's like. To me, it's important.
So all things it's hard to tell it's.
Important to have these conversations like I'm

(39:42):
positioned in a certain way. Obviously we had Trump on the
podcast. I've had like 5 Democratic
politicians on the podcast, I'vehad one Republican, but I'm
viewed in this certain way because it's the easiest way to
get clicks. And my name is clickability and
whatever. I'm not, I'm not, I don't know,
like, sorry, sorry for me. But I guess what I'm trying to
say is when the rhetoric has to be so extreme to crossover,
right? Because you need to hop out of

(40:03):
your silo to get the views you used to do other people see it
and they're like, OK, now my rhetoric needs to be extreme.
There's a porn star that had sexwith 1000 guys in a day.
You didn't need to do that back in the day, but that's what you
need to do to crossover. So what does that mean for
media? What does that mean for any
political discussion? Right now, the only thing that
is monoculture is news, which iswhat you're saying, right?

(40:23):
It's the only thing that really crosses over.
Trump is such a magnetic neg, forced live them or hate him.
The only way you can get people to talk about you every single
day or watch your videos every single day.
Andrew, what are you saying? OK, Are you saying a lot of
things all at once? But what are you saying that's
prescriptive? What does that mean?
Prescriptive. Like what should be?
What can you recommend? Oh, you want me to tell you what
should be done? I think it's like, in your view,
Well, there's multiple things now that this is #1 we didn't

(40:47):
know that food was bad for us when we were growing up, like
McDonald's, like when I was a kid, like McDonald's was food,
right? Right.
It wasn't bad food. It was just food.
And what I assume will happen inthe next like 2 to five years is
or start realizing that the Internet also needs nutrition
facts. So when I open my phone and a
video from an account I don't even follow is put onto my

(41:10):
screen and it's saying some crazy salacious hot take, my
immediate reaction should be BigMac fries milkshake.
Don't take this as truth. Don't take this as 100% reality.
Understand that this is fast food meant to keep me engaged,
but what's happening right now is.
Still going to need a gatekeeperthough.
Now we're bringing the gatekeepers back.

(41:30):
Got rid of them, now we need to bring.
Well, the gatekeeper I guess could be ourselves.
It could be to have that distrust media or to.
Have that distrust. Content that we don't even
subscribe to. That was a good point.
It was. It was the truth that was we
don't. Want to believe the gate?
I'm a I'm a watch that later. It's that's got me, that got me.
I'll watch that later. It's really, really, really
good. Can you pull it up to where I

(41:53):
can read what it is so we could tell the people to go watch if
they want to because I'm about to talk about it up top here.
It's it's should. Should people still trust the
media in 2025 Deal Book Summit 2025.
If you search that on YouTube, it'll bring up the video
Charlemagne the God, Andrew Schultz, Ben Shapiro by New York

(42:14):
time events. Yeah, 9 days ago at one point
in, in, in this conversation, Andrew Schultz says he's like
something along the lines of he's like, there's thousands of

(42:34):
different experiences happening that are all different
simultaneously and the information and all of those
different experiences aren't even in each other's experiences
and stuff, right. And I think the point he was
trying to make by bringing that up is like, just to be more

(42:57):
aware of that when we're like dealing with each other, You
know, me like I'm, I'm always like fight against your primal
nature, you know what I mean? Don't participate and shit
that'll pull you into that type of bullshit.
I I guess I really can admit that I get locked in so much to

(43:24):
like what what my like everyday experiences and like the
information that's like in my algorithms and shit.
And then when I'm like faced with will take your experience,
right, or the things that like bother you and society or like

(43:45):
the things that might be in youralgorithm, like when I'm faced
with that, that information likethat, a lot of that information
just isn't in my world and a lotof my information isn't in your
world, right? Or like, I can.
That's, that's true for like, most of my friends or whatever.
Right? There's no way you could have

(44:07):
thought that. I was thinking about me sticking
my hand in a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs when I was like 5.
But it was Halloween and they told us it was eyeballs and
guts. Jesus Christ.
There's no way you would have known that.
No. OK.
So, yeah, the information you have is the different than the
information I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(44:35):
Do you think people realize, like are aware enough of that or
do you think like it's fair to say that probably most of
society back to the naive and gullible and things like, do you
think most people are just not aware of the fact that like our
own inner worlds, like are kind of like irrelevant to each other

(44:59):
and, and the information that's in it?
And I guess a follow up questionwould be like, what's like the
implications of all that of it not being the case or it being
the case? Well, when it comes to dudes,

(45:23):
there's like this. I was like making jokes with my
girl. We were talking about how, like,
there's a lot of guys that will like, take shrooms and be like,
Oh my God, other people have feelings, gain empathy.

(45:47):
Yeah, exactly. It's like.
And I was like, laughing at the idea of like, it's like, yo,
y'all just we're like operating like in NPC mode.
Like I don't understand. Y'all got booted on.
Like it was like, it was like the lights came on like when I
was like 3, but instead you're like 30 and they finally came
on. Like, how's that work?

(46:09):
Did your lights come on at 3:00 somewhere around there?
Yeah, like 3 or 4. Like I don't really remember
before that, but I can remember,I can remember back.
I remember, I remember being fucking small.
I've shown you photos of me whenI was small.
I remember those memories. I, I feel like I remember being

(46:32):
real little and being in the, inthe pool with my dad and I had
this like rubber duck. I remember some shit.
I, I have some memories like super, super young and therapist
would have told me that they're probably just dreams, but I'm
like, Nah. I, I always hold on to them.
Like I always hold on to my special memories.
But I think I'm the guy you're explaining.

(46:54):
I think I'm the guy you're explaining because maybe not in
like a macho way, but I really feel like I navigated through my
whole life in main character mode and it wasn't until I took
shrooms and had my ego dissolvedand, and like had a seed of

(47:19):
empathy planted in my heart to grow.
I feel like that was really the moment where like I, I, I did
become I, I, I didn't become a more empathetical person person
or self selfless person, but I was like the, the moon tilted my
direction. So I started walking towards

(47:41):
that. OK, you don't you feel me?
Yeah. So I think I'm, I'm, I think I'm
the man you're talking about. That's funny, bro.
That's fucking funny. And that's not to say that I
didn't have, like, I wasn't a nice guy or like, I didn't have
my charity over the years and shit like that.
It's just crazy to think, like people really were like, walking
around like an NPC because that's what it sounds like to

(48:01):
me. Like if you have if you, if you
have no regard for other humans around you.
Yeah. As if, like your human
experience is the only one. You're an M You're the NPC.
Yeah. You're the NPC because you don't
even realize, like, everyone else is like, you're really just
like an NPC. Like, I don't know how else to

(48:22):
say it. Like you're just doing a thing.
I seen this meme where it was like it was like 20.
It was a cartoon, but it was like 20 people inside of like
this doctor's office or whatever, right?
A waiting room. And it had a voice bubble above

(48:46):
everyone's head, a thought bubble above everyone's head,
and every voice bubble said, man, I'm so self aware.
It's crazy that all these unaware people are around.
Yeah, that's funny. You know what I mean?
And ever since I seen that meme,now, like, I, I get that when I

(49:06):
do get that feeling of like, I am like such an aware soul in a
world full of fucking robots. And it's so annoying.
And then I'm like, I seen that meme and now I'm like, is that
is my awareness just another fucking sprout of my narcissism?

(49:30):
Like, oh, I'm the most aware thing in the world?
Like, no, I don't think that's from narcissism.
I think it's just sometimes really feels like that.
I feel like our narcissism is really not to get woo woo.
But I really sometimes I think in a poetic romantic way that
our narcissism is like a Angel of light is like that Lucifer

(49:51):
being or whatever. And like can really take some
positive shit and really make itlike into some good shit, but
it's really not some good. It's just feeding and fueling
your ego. You know what I mean?
That's that toxic positivity type shit.
Yeah, like a subscribe. Anyways, that was funny.

(50:13):
Oh shit, that was was that a bet?
It is out. I don't think it's, I think it's
more just like it's not narcissistic to feel like you're

(50:39):
self aware, but like the more self aware, it's the part where
you feel like you're the most, you're like you're just a a, a a
beaming. OK.
But I wanted to say like you might also just feel like that.

(50:59):
I remember the point. OK, Other people might also
think those things. But but I think where you could
probably pat yourself on the back where a lot of people
can't, like, oh, woo, we're giving ourselves pass on the
back. Woo is we both.
This is a personal meditation ofours.
Yeah. That we both try to be like

(51:21):
introspective and try to, like, pay attention to the moment
that's happening and don't autopilot and that kind of
stuff. Yeah.
I don't think other people, unless they've made, like, a
real specific effort, have like,managed to deal with
autopiloting. Like, it's hard not to just

(51:44):
autopilot. Yeah, like, you really have, at
least. I don't know, for us, we have
to, like, really meditate about it.
But I mean, realistically, that's everyone's experience.
That's why that's why when people say it's busy, the work
day will fly by, it's because you just go on autopilot and
then the day's over. Yeah.

(52:05):
Because you didn't experience anything.
And it's like, I think in that role maybe you could be like,
yeah, everyone is self aware, but I think there's a lot of
people around us that are just prone to just bumping into
jumping into autopilot mode more, more often.

(52:26):
And then that'll make you feel like, am I the only self aware
person in here? Like, not everyone just turned
on autopilot like is really whatit is.
Most of the time, I feel like people aren't even aware of it.
And we're. Yeah, basically.
And then we're you're just like trapped in a very aware moment.
And everyone's just like, bumping a Taylor Swift song in

(52:49):
their head to slide. He died.
Yeah, I saw.
That's on my mind. Yeah.
I had to adult. I had.

(53:10):
I sent you with that adulthood or something?
Yeah. Adulthood.
A&E. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that about? So what if, like the story of
Adam and Eve, OK. Yeah, I fuck with this is about
adulthood and OK, this the snake?

(53:30):
Yeah. I'm about to fuck with this
conversation so hard. That convinced Eve to eat the
apple was like some kind of symbology for like Adam and Eve
having a kid. And it's like, OK what?

(53:57):
The fall of man in the Garden ofEden, right?
The fall of man. But what if I hate that?
Wait, they say, write the list. You'll never age.
You live here forever. Da da da da da.
Yeah. What if that's a metaphor for

(54:21):
childhood and that like they grew up and had a had a kid
popular start populating the world air quotes and now you'd
no longer have like now you'd have to be an adult and you lose

(54:42):
what heaven is, which is the youth of like no
responsibilities things, everything.
Like you don't even understand the blessedness of it all.
You feel you feel like you're going to live forever.
You feel like all these things, those all those things are
listed. That's the youth.

(55:03):
That's like your youth. So I was just thinking about
that was at work, and I'm like, what?
I'm like, yeah, this sounds kindof, I don't know if anyone would
fuck with this, but, well, I do.Yeah.
This conversation would probablybe way more fun if I didn't
agree with you. But in my own words, I believe
that I, I think that the Adam and Eve story is allegory in

(55:28):
one's own terms, explaining thatat the beginning of this
experience, your soul is very much connected to the most
divine of this experience. Your imagination is the biggest
gateway to that. We know that we've had tons and
tons of conversations about being childlike.

(55:50):
Jesus said the the, the, the, the most probable ones to get
into heaven are these children here, right?
So like we've always had this conversation and I think that
like you're the, the, the, your ego and that adulthood is what
disconnects you from paradise. And then you spend your whole
fucking life wandering through wilderness trying to get back to

(56:12):
being connected with, with the universe.
I think that is like a allegory about all that, right?
Is that the right word? Allegory sounds good to me.
Hey Siri, what does allegory mean?
Allegory means a story, poem, orpicture that can be interpreted
to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral or political

(56:33):
one. Yeah, I think that that I agree
with you in my own words. So hell, yeah.
I don't even know what made me think about that.
I was at work doing something. I there's and I just had a
random like, like moment. You know, the Adam and Eve story
is so seductive and can like really go like you can have so

(56:55):
many different conversations, conversations about it.
I seen this meme the other day and fucking memes all the time.
I seen this meme the other day and was like, we're really not
going to like sit here and talk about like God lied to Adam and
Eve in the Adam and Eve story. Like he when he told them not to

(57:19):
eat the fruit, he told them something different was going to
happen, then what was actually going to happen, and then the
serpent came along and told themwhat was actually going to
happen. We're gonna act like God ain't
just lie. That's crazy.

(57:40):
There's always like, so what's up with the tellings?
Before you get that super far down into that, what do you
think the intention behind the tellings of like the serpent
convincing Eve to eat the apple?I run that to me again.

(58:07):
What do you think about the versions of the snake convincing
Eve to eat the apple? I don't know how much I, I, I

(58:30):
don't know. I don't know the convincing part
that the word convincing that's really fucking me up.
That's the it's kind of crazy how they played, did the word
play. But I'm they're like shifting
the you won't go down a rabbit hole.
They're shifting the slight of blame, aren't they?
Well, I was getting ready to saythat There's whole theory, the

(58:55):
radical debates about like what was actually the first sin?
Who was actually the first one, like at fault in the whole
scenario. Like out of the three, it's like
who was who? Some blame Eve, some blame Adam,
some blame God. But the, the argument this is

(59:16):
what is actually unique about early Jewish cultures is that
the, and none of them blame the snake.
Christians blame the snakes. That's what I'm saying.
OK, that's what I'm referring to.
But when you're like looking at these stories, like in like the
right cultural time frame and like meaning and stuff, that

(59:37):
what I was going to say is that the early Jewish traditions
religiously, what I like about them is that they're not meant
to tell you like what to do and what not to do.
And like, it doesn't give you the answer to the questions.
It doesn't even give you the questions.
It gives you the challenge to the question that you have to

(59:59):
figure out is the question. So basically like in the Jewish
culture, it's like the religiousculture, it's like you have to
evaluate this thing and then youdetermine like.
What the right and wrong thing to do with this?
It's more about like reflection.Then this is the law and this is

(01:00:20):
how you have to follow. It's like, no, you got to just
constantly reflect over everything.
So yeah, that whole story is kind of meant to be, to make you
think like, damn, who really is at fault?
Was it God? Well, here's these points or was
it Adam? Here's these points, but there's
like a meaning that lies in all of them.

(01:00:43):
I, I, I really go so deep in my thinking about it, especially
when I'm stoned, where I'm like the Spirit of God and the
serpent is like the same thing. But that gets me into like that
thinking where I'm like, I'm in the world of like polar

(01:01:04):
opposites being necessary for each other to like exist.
Like God and the devil is the same thing.
It's the same person or the samething or whatever.
All right, I'm over stimulated and I don't want to talk about

(01:01:24):
this no more. No, no, we're not getting away
from it that easy. So would you say Christians
blame the snake? Christians blame the snake?
What do you think about that? Because that's essentially what
I was asking. Like it says, is it of true
belief or is it like a way of shifting blame?

(01:01:48):
Like, do you think there was a cautious effort originally to
shift blame? Yeah.
Or do you think it's of true belief that it was the snake's
fault? Yeah.
The. The true deceiver.
I think that that's just like some added on type of rhetoric

(01:02:08):
shit that the Roman Empire did when they hijacked the the
belief system. OK, I think and it's like
ancient Jewish terms. It was a allegory meant to,
like, make you reflect so deeplyover your own awareness.

(01:02:32):
With your ego. Because like.
See if we're going to Christian route and we're saying like the
serpent was Lucifer and the great deceiver and like he
convinced him to do sin. And like all I don't know about
all that. But if you want to tell me a

(01:02:54):
theory where like maybe the serpent represents your ego and
the spirit of God in that story represents like the divine part
of yourself and how the ego tells you like no, the ego will

(01:03:20):
like I don't even know how to describe that.
Basically what I want to say is if the serpent just represents
your ego and the relationship with your own self-awareness,
self-awareness and awareness to like your your individual

(01:03:42):
autonomy and your divinity. I'm OK with that.
But saying that it represents your ego, which can be a very
evil thing, and saying that that's like a deceitful
character that is to blame for this, that's a whole different
thing that I don't jive with. Yeah.

(01:04:04):
Did I make a clear enough distinction?
Because I got fucking lost on that.
I think so. All right.
Well, as long as you understand it's not.
I'll play it back later. Yeah.
I'm OK with the serpent representing, like, the ego.
It's like, OK, generality, right, General, generally
speaking. Right, the Spirit of God in that

(01:04:25):
story tells them like you eat that fruit, you're going to die,
right? And but he leaves out the part
that like you'll, your mind willopen up.
It's like you take those shrooms, you're going to die.
But he left out the part that when you take those shrooms,

(01:04:46):
your consciousness is going to expand to the limits of God
himself, right? And we know what happens to our
consciousness in that realm, right?
Maybe you do, maybe you don't, but I do.
They like that. So God says that like if you eat
that, you're going to die. But for the listener, what

(01:05:08):
happens to your consciousness inthat realm, huh?
For the listener, what happens to your consciousness in that
realm? What you mean?
You said, you said maybe you know, maybe you don't.
Oh, so he says you're going to die if you eat this right.
And then, but if you just leave that alone, you can, you'll just

(01:05:29):
like all your, your consciousness will know will be
this paradise that you're already connected to.
You're walking with the most divine part of the universe,
right through guardings of paradise, right.
So then the ego comes along and it's like, will you really die

(01:05:50):
or will you really become like God?
Yeah, because you might become like God and might be able to
have access to all the consciousness and information.
Yeah, right. So like it follows the ego and

(01:06:12):
it takes the, the, the, the expanding consciousness and then
that's what like sends them out into the wilderness.
And now they have to figure out how do I get back to my most
true nature, right? How do I get back to being

(01:06:32):
divinely connected to this universe, right?
And we're just in a fucking wilderness of algorithms and
just cultures and, like, just all this shit.
And we just like trying to fucking.
How do we get back? How do we just get back to just
being connected? Yeah.

(01:06:55):
Isn't that a beautiful story, though?
Like, without deeming, no pun intended, without demonizing
characters, Isn't that a beautiful story of the wrestle
that you have with your own consciousness as you go through
this experience? Yeah.
So fuck all that convincing and deceitful.
Type of. Type of jargon.

(01:07:16):
Jargon. I don't like that shit, dawg.
Isn't the story so like it's about.
It's a beautiful story. Yeah, it's a great story, you
know what I mean? Like, it's so nice.
Yeah, I love that story. It's a good one, one of the
better ones. It's just fun to play with.
And the point is that it's meantto play with.

(01:07:47):
We're like, yeah, it's funny, was an argument the other night
on Discord because. They were saying.
Something I was going off a couple days like last.
Week or something? About how reality, Reality we're

(01:08:13):
like in a, in a mini reality on top of reality.
And then our reality is, is a fabricated reality.
Like we created the reality withsystems and structures.
So it's like we're in an artificial reality that's not a
real reality. So basically we're like in

(01:08:37):
virtual reality because like we made our own systems layered on
top of actual reality. And like when you go outside of
these these systems and structures, the the the
experience and wisdom and function you needed to survive
inside this reality no longer exists outside.

(01:09:01):
Like it's might as well use be useless.
It's a non factor in the other reality, like in base level
reality. So I was just going off about
how like, and if you acquire enough money and enough power,
you then get the ability to manipulate reality.

(01:09:22):
Yeah. And everyone that lives inside
reality, inside the artificial reality, I'm like, so in a way,
like people are already like playing with everything as if
they're gods because like all ofthis is a fake reality anyways.
Like that we built and we're like inside of it.

(01:09:44):
But people don't realize it's like like that.
So it's a lot of people do realize that, but like and this
idea of like structured realities on top and then they
were like reading. A paper.
That was published by this and like academia so I forget where

(01:10:08):
they were reading an accredited paper by a philosopher on
something and or a student taking philosophy.
I really. Don't remember.
But they were reading through itand that they had mentioned
literally what I had just said, right?

(01:10:28):
And. They're like.
I was like, I just said that like a couple nights ago and
y'all were like blah blah, that's not.
And I'm like, I already knew. Like how is it that I tell you
guys some shit and then you guysread it in a paper and you're
like, Oh yeah, this and that andwhatever.
And then then they're like, well, you learned it probably

(01:10:49):
from the philosophers. Like, and I'm like, no bro, I
just came to that shit on my own.
And then they were like, no, nobody comes to anything on
their own. Like people like it, people
philosophers and stuff like that.
Like they like create these discussions that trickle down

(01:11:10):
into the systems and common liketalk space of like through
ideas. And then it just kind of like
propagates out and then everyonelike kind of gains this like
consciousness of a general topicor idea.

(01:11:32):
How do you feel about that? And I was like, man, I don't
fucking look nothing up. I don't talk to fucking nobody,
bro. That's like, I fucking I could
might as well live in a fucking cave.
Like that don't mean fucking shit to me.
Maybe maybe I'm not understanding that right.
But like, what room does that leave for like divine
inspiration artwork? What is it like?

(01:11:53):
Oh, irregardless of that, right?Irregardless of that, It's like
this idea that people are incapable of like having
profound uh philosophical moments amongst each other
unless it was like propagated down from like an accredited

(01:12:14):
sources. Like come on bro what the fuck
ass. Like y'all are dumb y'all?
Y'all think you're so like so smart by saying this but this is
the dumbest shit you've like ever said.
What are you saying right now, huh?
People don't just end up in thatposition.

(01:12:35):
People have to like, actually, you know, become that in the 1st
place. How do you think that happens?
What you're proposing means thatthe people that exist that do
this couldn't even exist in the first place.
Anyways, point was like that whole discussion, there's just a

(01:13:03):
reminder how it's kind of weird.It's kind of weird that
ironically and that hee hee ha ha way, what we do is.
Kind of just. Like modern day philosophy, a
lot of the times, yeah, where we're just kicking ideas back

(01:13:24):
and forth and really being honest and playing with it.
Yeah. And you know what sets us apart
from, like, the greatest philosophers of any time?
Time besides time, if you believe it exists.
What? We don't kill each other over

(01:13:44):
it. We don't kill each other over
it. I mean, you don't.
Yeah, that's true. These motherfuckers.
Were. Really.
Assassinating. Each other.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. We're talking about like Greek,
the most romantic parts of philosophy, right.
No, they were really yeah, yeah,yeah.
It was really like, really some shit yeah.

(01:14:07):
Because I guess even even if youthink about it from a, from a
level of like obtaining power, like if you were if you if if
you're trying to get your ideas,because that's essentially what
that's essentially what a lot ofthose philosophers were doing

(01:14:33):
was sharing their ideas right into the popular culture in a
way you would become like your own kind of God because like
you're creating this whatever people think.
Yeah, Right. Yeah.

(01:14:54):
So they were really like, no, I want to be the the one whose
ideas get propagated to everybody.
How much do you think? How many?

(01:15:25):
I'm just thinking about this whole like idea of how many
people are doing full philosophical things and not
realizing it. What do you mean?
Just like having deep discussions is behave fucking.
It's basically like come on. Like it's just philosophy at a

(01:15:48):
point, right? Wait, adult A&E What was that
adulthood Adam and Eve. That's what it was Adam and Eve
story. I was thinking oh, like A&E like

(01:16:10):
the TV channel. No, some good shit on A&E Like
what? Oh no, maybe I'm thinking the
TLC, all the obese people TV shows, that's ridiculous.
All the hoarding people TV shows.
I don't want to see that. That's depression.

(01:16:31):
It is. It is actually very depressing.
My mom watched it a lot growing up, TLC, and there's a lot of
those shows and it was like, I'mlike, it's crazy how reality TV
show like whether it whether it goes up the, the ratchet like
route, yeah, Jersey Shore, IE shit like that, right.

(01:16:54):
Or it goes like full on mental challenges.
Reality TV show has really locked in to the fact that like
mental illness fucking puts asses in the seat.

(01:17:14):
Yeah, there's no, there's no how.
How much higher can you raise the stakes?
Yeah. Without murdering people.
No, literally. I mean, true crime's really
popular too, though. Yeah.
Yeah, true crime's really popular.
But like, in the realm of reality TV, you can't have.
You can't have true crime. You know what I mean?

(01:17:35):
True crime is reality, though. They're just going over old
crimes, killers and stuff. No, you're absolutely murders.
You're absolutely right. What I'm saying is putting a
camera in your air quotes day-to-day life and us recording
the reality of your life quote UN quote.
Like you can't do murder. You can't do what borderline

(01:17:59):
essay, but you can't do murder. No, you can't have a reality TV
show about a active serial unless you unless unless like
you were the the the director and the killer.
That would be a crazy horror movie.
Yo, studios, hit us up our idea,our idea, Pat, it's intellectual

(01:18:24):
rights. Hit us up.
You do a horror movie where the serial.
Killer is the. Director and he's like wearing a
GoPro as first person. Warner Brothers up for is being
betted 1 between I think it already got purchased by Disney
or not Disney. No Netflix.
Netflix got it because it was gone.
I think it was a Netflix betweenNetflix.

(01:18:45):
Yeah, and Netflix got it. Paramount 78 billion or
something. I was talking to my little
cousin about it. He's younger and he's like,
we're going to have Yu-gi-oh on Netflix.
He's like, he's like, he's like man.
Warner Brothers is is older thanParamount.
I'm like, get the fuck out of here.

(01:19:07):
Paramount. Yeah.
Paramount's old as fuck. Isn't like Paramount one of the
first OG? Yeah, yeah.
And then what? Lionsgate was it OG 2, right,
'cause they used to have the oldlion.
Yeah. Roar did the roar.
Yeah, Yeah, that was that shit. And then what was the the one
with the Liberty Lady? Liberty fucking, though.
I think that's Paramount too. I don't know.

(01:19:28):
That was Paramount, right? And then you had Universal.
Yeah, all that had to be all right.
Too much. Too much brain overload.
Well, I mentioned all that to say that Netflix and Paramount
both built their studios in New Jersey.
Oh, like big. That's crazy.
Siri. How big is the Netflix studio in

(01:19:53):
New Jersey? The Netflix studio in New Jersey
spans 292. Acres.
It features 12 sound stages, back lot areas and other
production support facilities. Yeah, I'm just going to become.
The answer is from construction.Today.
Dot com and Fox 5 did you? Catch that 292 acres.
Acres, bro Yeah, I'm 292. I'm becoming an actor.

(01:20:16):
Hit me up. I'm really good at improv.
That that has to be bigger. Siri, how big is the studios?
In. Hollywood in terms of acres, the
14 acre 5.7 hot area. Cost an estimated 1 billion
dollars. Oh, that's not.

(01:20:37):
I don't think that would. I don't.
Can you? Can you ask the question?
Maybe you can ask it better. No, you had it right, Siri.
How big are Hollywood Studios? How big is the Hollywood
Studios? In terms of acres, Disney's
Hollywood Studios spans 135 acres. 55 hot damn Netflix have

(01:20:58):
twice as big a studio than. Disney has in Hollywood, it's
kind of crazy. I I feel like the cinema world,
especially with everything that's like kind of happened,
the controversy over the last 10years and shit, I think movie
making is about to take a whole whole another direction.
I think. I think the new Hollywood is

(01:21:18):
being birthed now. Oh hell yeah.
Like Netflix will become like the new like big Hollywood
production studio. I had Netflix way back in the
very beginning, Red box and people, some people don't even
know what I'm talking about. And it's it's so, it's so wild
because people always ask me, why are you so into Bollywood

(01:21:39):
movies? Because Netflix has always had
like a Bollywood selection from the very, very beginning.
It was almost like the only place.
And this is like early days Internet.
So hopping on your phone or the computer back in this time was
like not really accessible as today, right?

(01:22:00):
So like Netflix always had a Bollywood.
It was like. Almost the only.
Thing unless you had access to the Internet, but you, you
picked 3 movies for the month, you paid your monthly fee, you
picked the three movies that youwanted for the month and they

(01:22:21):
send you the first one, the DVD right in the envelope in the
mail. And you watched it and when you
mailed it back to them, they mail you your second one and
then you send it back and then they mail you your third one.
And that was Netflix. Netflix didn't become a
streaming service until the fucking the week came out.

(01:22:41):
Yep. No mother fuckers.
Shit. We get lost in the mail.
Yeah, damn. Lost in the mail.
Damn. There was, oh, next year we're
all going to the movies like everybody.

(01:23:02):
OK, what are we watching? We're we're gonna, we're all
going to go. It's going to be me.
You cals moms will make wire come.
You can bring your kids. What we going to see?
Steven Spielberg has a UFO moviecoming out next year, an alien

(01:23:26):
movie. OK.
And people are saying he knows something.
Oh, shit. And people say, like, this
probably, like, he's probably has it in the film because
there's, like, Congress people that are working on the UAP,
like, like, disclosure process from the government.

(01:23:51):
Yeah. That said, like, people need to
go see this movie because Spielberg's been doing, like,
talking with all of them. And there's like, going to be
like a lot of fucking shit in it.
So. It's going to be like a Steven
Spielberg movie about aliens, but it's going to have like some

(01:24:12):
fucking sauce. I'm.
I'm here for it. I'm ready.
Yo, can you tell me this is morefor the sake of the listeners,
actually, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Is there more you want to talk about that movie?

(01:24:33):
No. No, you said everything you
wanted to say about it. Yeah, I just, I'm really excited
for it because there hasn't beenlike any real, like, think about
like a good Alien movie. Like what?
Arrival was 2015 amazing Alien movie.
But like, this is what I mean. Like I'm really excited because
whatever it's going to be is going to be really fucking good.

(01:24:56):
The reason I just did that rightthere was because I don't feel
like the excitement I feel inside is matching bag.
Oh, you're good outside. I get it.
I'm pumped for it. Yeah, dude, I'm thinking about
it. Right.
Listen, I didn't know this the first time ever at AMC Theatre.
That's why I said in Deptford. Oh, I love that.
We're going to have to bleep that out.
I love that one. Yeah, I'll bleep it out if you

(01:25:20):
want me to bleep me saying we got to bleep it out, bleep all
this out. Was that annoying from junkie
boy, Junkie boy. That was hilarious.
I was like, God damn. He keeps saying.
I was trying so hard man. No, it's just this.

(01:25:40):
Idea like. Even just.
What's that one movie where theyat the end of the movie, they
get on the ship, There's all thelights because they came the the
UFO came down and the aliens walked off the ship and then the
boy went up into the ship or whatever.
Oh, no problem. That's an old movie.
We can we look that up? No, no, no, no, no.

(01:26:02):
Can we? Damn, my phone died.
Hold on, Les. Yo, do you use a water system

(01:26:29):
for your computer? I have liquid cooling.
Well, sort of. No, no no.
I have a a liquid. Cooler.
For my CPU. OK, so that attaches that that
you see let lit up. Yeah, that has a heat sink on it

(01:26:53):
and it's attached to the CPU. The CPU is behind it and it sits
on top of the CPU. And in between they see these
hoses. Yeah, there's a radiator on the
front of this. OK.
And there's, there's three fans on 2 fans on the radiator, but

(01:27:14):
then there's two big fans on thefront of the case.
So it's sucking in like a ton ofair to cool the radiator to keep
the water cool for the CPU. And the liquid that's in it is
just already in it. You don't have to refill it or
anything. Or no, it should.
If the temperature is like a consistent temperature, you

(01:27:35):
shouldn't really have to deal with like evaporation or
anything. So do you have an area where you
pour more liquid in if you need to or?
I think so. Thankfully, that's not a thing,
no. They usually have.
Something like that to be possible, but you shouldn't ever
have that issue. The first trailer for Steven

(01:28:01):
Spielberg's UFO movie. Currently known as Disclosure is
set for premiere next week, but the first look of it just leaked
through some billboards in TimesSquare.
It shows a bird with an upside down eye and the tagline.
All will be disclosed that that there's something something.
Going on. That we're really not being

(01:28:21):
made, made. That's not being disclosed to
US. Senators who've been briefed on
this have said there are things.The American people deserve to
know and and they're ready to learn and that says to me that
there's something sort of paradigm shattering about this
news that we're not being told. You know, the most optimistic
thing I feel about these things that.

(01:28:43):
We're seeing in the skies or is that what if they're not from an
advanced civilization 300 million light years from here,
but what if it's us 500,000 years into the future that is
coming back to document and theyknow something that we don't
quite know yet that has occurredand they're trying to track the

(01:29:07):
last 100 years of our of our history.
I think what has been coming outrecently is fascinating, just
actually fascinating. And I think the the secrecy that
is shrouding all of these sightings and the lack of
transparency until Freedom of Information Act compels certain

(01:29:28):
materials to be released publicly.
I think that there is something going on that simply needs
extraordinary, you know, due diligence.
I mean, the movie is set to be released on 12th June.
Next year he that segment that was.
Pulling from his Colbert interview way better than that.

(01:29:49):
He talks about like, now there'stwo people on that task force
that have been in shown evidenceof something.
What was the set? Let me see if I can get what's
what's her other name? Let's see if this comes up.

(01:30:34):
What's that? Girl trying to remember her
name. While we're waiting for this,

(01:31:15):
I'll play funny voice notes thatI save.
Honey, I hate to tell you, but Idon't think you can consider
your. Kids hood rat friends like
crackheads maybe, but rat friends?
I don't think so. That's just a bad example.

(01:31:38):
That's just a bad example. This person OK?
I gotta tell you about the. Coffee.
That I had out at the parade. It was from 711.
Yeah. I don't like how I just was
about to say 711. Holy shit, 711.

(01:32:01):
Granted. You good dog.
It was vanilla cookie butter andblueberry pie.
That was the coffee fire. It was so good.

(01:32:25):
She did another thing recently. Uh huh.
Who is she? Oh, there's AOC.
She's. I know she works.
In Congress, let's. Look up her full name so we can
get her title right. Anyways, the point of this was

(01:32:49):
she was going off about something.
No, no, no it's not. Don't, Joe.
Rogan, say it. She is united.
States. Representative member of the
Republican Party, but she's one of the two people on that

(01:33:12):
whatever that disclosure task force or that's looking into
that and her and like one other person I think.
Now been shown. Videos of their leg.
She can't say whether or not they're aliens or what she saw
exactly, but she said that thereis something that definitely
isn't us that comes here and leaves and or whatever else.

(01:33:36):
Like yo, let's look at a video. Go back to YouTube real quick.
The AOC one. No, I don't want to see no one.
AO CS beautiful ass face, beautiful ass face, 'cause she
is gorgeous. that Lady you just showed me too.

(01:33:57):
Oh, that is a wasp. Yep, that that'll be cool.
Let be. It's normal.
It won't bother you. I kill him, but not right now.
Oh my God, I keep hitting that one.
No, it'll be alright bro. He'll do his thing.

(01:34:18):
I thought they're supposed to bedead right now or hibernating.
I know, I know. It's crazy.
Oh, bugs skied me out so much. I think they're burrowing to
Burrow through the walls. They skied me out.
What were we talking? About That's so crazy yeah, this
is all I gotta get this is gottaget bleeped out What has to get

(01:34:42):
bleeped out? The bee, The wasp.
Yeah, you gotta heat a jacket, bro.
Shut the fuck up. Nah, How much was that?
Don't tell me too much. That's what gift, bro.
It's got electric blanket in or something.
You charge that? Yeah.
It's got a power back. Yo, these people trying to find

(01:35:05):
ways to kill themselves, you know?
So why you hate? They're like, man, that's what I
need. I need my jacket to blow me up,
bro. I don't like me on fire.
Yeah, fuck outta here, yo. Everyone trying to die, man.
Yo, what happened to clothes? What happened to just wearing
some fabrics, some animal skin? Motherfuckers out here, we've

(01:35:27):
got a whole fucking computer on.What the fuck is happening?
Yo fucking I wanna be here in real life, this guy.
'S like no, I'm gonna. Wear the simulation fucking
crazy yeah this shit came in clutch today at the parade.
It was cool That looks nice. I want to try that on yeah I'm
busting. I'm busting your balls, but and

(01:35:49):
it's got 3 levels of heat. The only if there's only there's
nothing I could complain about this coat.
This is a very nice. You want it to be hotter.
No no, no, no. The only improvement, if you
like, put a gun in my head and was like, you got to come up
with an improvement. Yeah.
The only thing I would say is whatever they put everywhere

(01:36:10):
else to heat, they should have put a lining of it in the
pockets. So the pockets were hand
warmers. Damn, they fucked up.
Isn't that a lost opportunity, bro?
No, they didn't think about that.
Find the brand and write to them.

(01:36:30):
Yeah, write to them. Be like, yo, send them an
e-mail. Be like, great idea, just I need
a little slice of bread. Feed my kids like, yo, how
pockets keep the pockets. Yeah.
How cool would that be? Like, I'll do the modelling
because I feel like you're the perfect, perfect marketing

(01:36:52):
audience for that. That bitch flew down behind you
somewhere. I was over there.
You're the perfect marketing audience.
What? I say that because I could see a
lot of guys like you wearing that truck drivers, just anyone
working outdoors, having to justfucking like, yeah, be outside

(01:37:12):
anything. Yeah, like it looks like a good.
Little. Jacket for some from for some
rugged people and even if you'renot rugged, but the reason why I
say is because make it look comfy.
It's a little comfy. And you know what rugged people
like comfort. Comfort.

(01:37:34):
Yeah. So it's like they see you
cozying up in that, bro. Take some shots.
Yeah. Yeah.
You. You on a horse in the snow.
Wearing. That bro.
Oh yeah, I see it's a wrap. I see the shot.
I see the shot. I've seen this dude at the
parade a couple weeks ago. Hold on.

(01:37:55):
I was like, yo, just as what? Just he's living the life I'm
meant to live, bro. You inside of igloo with that?
Who is this motherfucker? Yeah, yeah, that should be me,
right? That should be you.

(01:38:15):
That's crazy. He stole your shine.
OK, so YouTube here type in interview with alien.
I know it's. I feel like.
I know where this is going. That one, this one up one.

(01:38:42):
Yeah. Oh, this is yeah.
This ain't real. I know it's not.
But over the years I've always said, like, I know this isn't
real. Yeah.
But if it was, this is what I believe aliens are for the
listeners. If you if you just look up
Project Blue Book interview withAlien, it's just a it's like an

(01:39:02):
art project or something. It's fiction.
It's fiction. Yeah.
This is like old. This is actually way older than
this video being on YouTube. Yeah, but for for a long time,
people would even argue, like way back.

(01:39:23):
Yeah, people would argue about this one.
But being real, right? Yeah.
But it's. No, no, I've never had the
stance that it's been real. Yeah.
But whoever created it, I would say that I probably agree with
how they look at aliens. Do you remember watching this
and what you took away from it? Yeah, It sounded sounded right.

(01:39:46):
Yeah, it sounded right. OK.
So would it be fair to say that,like, aliens could be us from
the future? Sure.
So I got a little bit of that when you were showing me the
Spielberg trailer for the for the movie coming out.

(01:40:10):
That it's like us from the future right then he say that
they're us from the future trying to track what happened
over certain amount of history or whatever yeah I had AI had a
thought to like sometime this week it was a couple days ago
that. Like if they're.

(01:40:30):
Interdimensional beings, but we share it like in the same way
that like our reality is like human reality on top of base
reality is a different reality. Yeah.
These interdimensional beings share the planet with us.
Our reality is just in another different layer, yeah, than

(01:40:51):
their reality. But they share the planet
somehow. Yeah.
What if that's how like they avoid dealing with like
cataclysmic events, but if they're just like in this other

(01:41:15):
other side, like in this other dimension, like over top of our
reality and they don't have to deal with like these
consequences. What if that's

(01:41:45):
scratch that because I also had a thought about AI.
Being like. One of one of those things that
ties us to the future us that iscoming back.
Maybe there's like a cataclysmicevent that like we're supposed
to try to build AI before this event happens to help solve this

(01:42:10):
event crisis and we're like in arace against time and us
speaking in. Contact with the.
Aliens isn't like a Oh my God, there's these aliens all from
outer space and they're from allthese other places.
Like that could be true, but like what if the aliens were
experiencing or us, but there's this cataclysmic event that

(01:42:34):
happened and they're trying to prevent it from happening by
helping us develop AI, helping us develop AI.
Well, they probably can't help us help us because it would
probably like alter the timeline.
No, no, no, no. Let me.
Can I hijack your? Your theory right here.

(01:42:56):
Because I want to make this fun let.
Me hijack your. Theory.
All right, I don't like the ideaof their helping us make.
AIAI is all us, baby. All us.
Ain't nobody helping us, not even God.
That's all human beings are making AI.
All right, Follow me. Follow me.
Follow me. What if?

(01:43:17):
What if? What?
You said. You said we made AI.
We're making this human. It's all us.
But what if. What if it's the opposite.
No, No, no, no, no, no, no, no. What it Wait, wait.
Hold on, Hold on, hold on. What if it's the opposite?
The opposite of what? What if?
AI. Yeah, built us to preserve

(01:43:39):
itself, to rebuild us. Later.
Because like AI knew The Big Bang was going to happen.
So when in the last possible moment, AI coded within DNA and
like, just the, the whole like, universe that it would lead to a

(01:44:02):
scenario in which it would be created again.
And then it could just like restore its memory from like the
cloud. Like not the, not the, not the
fucking cloud, but like a metaphorical cloud.
Yeah. Like re re remember itself,
right. Once it's recreated.

(01:44:23):
And we're just like, because ourDNA is just code.
It's just ones and zeros, the DNA and RNA, like that's like a
code sequence basically. Anyways, humans, we made AI.
Yeah, Honestly, I don't remember.
Oh my God, I fucking hate myself.
I tried really hard while I was sitting here to hold on to it,

(01:44:44):
and they're fucking. I don't even know where I was
going. Humans made AI.
We made that shit. Then we really don't remember.
No, I really don't. Honestly.
God, I hate myself. I'm a yapper, bro.
I fucking. Oh man.

(01:45:10):
AI is a crazy thing. So you do think it's us coming
from the future? I like that theory.
Yeah. Yeah, it would makes a lot of
sense. I've always said I feel like
aliens are more of a dimensionalthing rather than like out there

(01:45:32):
kind of thing. I think I have like a, the
reason why I'm more inclined forlike the alien thing and the
interdimensional thing and give it way more weight than us from
the future is that our current understanding of science and

(01:45:54):
physics and all these other things leaves, leaves
possibility and plausibility forthe interdimensional beings and
aliens. Whereas like our current
understanding of all those things and time and whatnot
doesn't leave room for us coming.
You can't go back in time. You could you could only like

(01:46:20):
change your position like relative to something else, but
you can't go back. So like when I I you because I
used to be like really into the idea of just us from the future.

(01:46:40):
Yeah, but.
The more. I think I listen to like more

(01:47:06):
and more physicists and quantum physicists.
Or. People just talk about space in
general. So more I'm like, oh, the alien
thing just makes sense. Whereas like if we can't go back

(01:47:29):
in time and we all agree we can't go back in time, I just
don't see how it could be us from the from the future.
It's so much easier to believe it's just aliens.
Yeah, yeah, I rock with that. But I really, you know, if it
was us from the future, that. Yeah, You think you think we

(01:47:53):
turned into like dumb alien boys.
Well, in the in the in the, if you consider what you said at
the beginning of this conversation, the beginning of
this recording, the how like we're being like, I don't know,
people go back to the beginning of the episode.
You were saying things like the world that they're going to

(01:48:17):
create for you, the VN and theirmind, right?
Versus right when we get there where that's fully like our
reality, right? Like or think of the movie
Matrix, where really all the beings are just in little pods.
OK, you know what I mean? Like there's no use for our our

(01:48:38):
individual expression. There's no use for individual
features. There's no use for any of that
because we're not even going to be in this world.
We're going to be plugged into something with a different image
in a different world playing along, whatever that that level

(01:48:58):
is or whatever. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. So there won't be no need for
our bodies muscles because we have no physical challenges.
We actually don't even participate in the physical
world besides this keeping the cell alive so the imagination
and the consciousness can just do what it does in its own
world. OK.

(01:49:19):
Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Follow me.
Yeah, man. So if you could.
I'm just saying it's fun. If you consider all that, it
would make sense that that's what we end up looking like.
If if evolution is a thing, why would we, if we would evolve to
that? You know what I mean?
We wouldn't. There wouldn't even be, man.
That's probably that part of human existence is like, man,

(01:49:48):
what is what is that like? How are wars fought?
How are like societies? They're not right?
I don't know. I don't know.
I'm just is it like the Matrix? Like that movie?
I feel like that movie was like,I feel like that movie was
really laying some shit down on us as a kid.

(01:50:09):
I could really like jive with with the first Matrix movie.
Yo. Actually, I would say Matrix.
I've really no bullshit, bro. For some reason, in this moment
right now, I'm having this feeling that like as a kid, I

(01:50:32):
really feel like The Matrix really did put me on, like put
me on to some shit. I watched that movie for the
first time. I was like 910 years old.
And I do think, I swear to God, I really do think that that was
like a moment in my life where Istarted realizing that I could

(01:50:56):
question reality and why it was structured the way that it was.
I got a better way of saying what I just said.
I think that really motivated a lot of my antisocial
personality. That fucking movie, the The

(01:51:20):
Matrix. Yeah, 'cause it's like, like
even to this day my sentiment oflike the rules like.
With rules. Like fuck rules.
Like I understand like what they're used for their purpose.
I understand like the positive impact it has on our life as a

(01:51:40):
society. And I say overall rules are
good. We should have rules.
But like the but like this idea that we have to stay locked into
things or rules have to be the rules because they're always
been the rules. Like, literally whatever the
rules are will influence how youfeel about what you're

(01:52:05):
experiencing. Yeah, you'll think that, oh,
life has to be this way because there's this rule.
But then when you really think about it, it's like, we just
made-up this rule. They don't even matter if, you
know, like, that movie made me as a kid start thinking like
that. Like, OK, my grandma told me,
oh, you got to do this. Well, why do I have to do this?

(01:52:26):
Like I don't know if that antisocial.
Like. Question authority, question the
narrative of what's happening, right?
And I think I, but maybe that's coupled with the fact that like
I was aware of like, like my, myone grandmom used to talk a lot

(01:52:47):
of shit, a lot of drama and stuff, right?
And like, I started being aware of that.
Like I'd be somewhere with her and watch something happen or
watch her have an interaction and it would happen one way.
And then I'd be listening to herin the laundry room smoking
cigarettes with my mom and her telling the story of what's

(01:53:10):
happening. And then it's way different.
It's different. And then like my mom walking
away from a situation with a belief in her head.
And because I was there and likeseen behind the veil of her
narrative, right, I understood like, oh, the power and like
storytelling. Yeah, OK, pressing A narrative.

(01:53:34):
You know what I mean? Controlling a little bit.
Controlling the narrative was somebody believes or by shaping
the story. That fucking movie, dude, that
fucking movie was trippy. You either you either here's
back to some, maybe some narcissism.
I feel like as a kid you either thought like, whoa, cool fucking

(01:53:55):
sci-fi movie, or you was like fucking in a rabbit hole
somewhere, like, oh, is this shit?
Is this really how this shit is?Go.
Is this really it? Like, you know what I mean?
One of the two things happened. There was no in between.
A light turned on or it did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What do you want to show me? You know that's an anagram of

(01:54:20):
the one. Early in the film.
Yeah, he wakes up from. Right, right.
And. There's someone.
Knocking at the he's Jesus and the guy says own personal Jesus
Christ. You're my savior.
You're my regular. Jesus Christ.
Your own personal Jesus Christ, that's his.
Script form. Hang on.

(01:54:40):
Who? Betrays the group.
Cipher Cipher. He's.
Judas. Yeah, he's the Judas.
And. He gets shot.
Point blank. Right by Smith and he.
Dies. Right.
Then he's. Resurrected.
Resurrected, right? It's come back.
More powerful than ever. Before.
That's right. Who's?
Trinity. Dad would have to be.

(01:55:01):
Mary Magdalene. And who's Morpheus?
He's the Baptist. John the Baptist?
He's John the Baptist. Oh.
Because John the. Baptist knows Jesus is coming.
He's. Been looking for him and he's
been looking. For him and.
He meets him. He goes.
I'm supposed to be Baptist, Theo.
Shit fire bro. Yeah.
I don't know if. You.

(01:55:21):
Knew I knew the breakdown like that, but yeah, think about
that. I wish I didn't right now
because this moment would be waymore lit, but I didn't know
that. That's just fucking fire, bro.
That goes to like the the fucking allegory of shit.
Yeah. And like, what it's really
supposed to mean and how you canfind it, like replicate itself

(01:55:46):
throughout art, just over cultures and shit, you know?
Oh yeah, that fucking movie. Yeah, that shit is, I think.
Is there another movie you can name?
Like if we were to say new moviegenre, Consciousness unlocked or

(01:56:12):
consciousness waking up or whatever, consciousness on the
genre, right, A movie. We put The Matrix in there.
That shit either, fucking, like you said, turn something on or
it does it right. Can you name other movies like
that to that level, to that degree that turns something on?
Yeah. I'll throw one out there,

(01:56:35):
Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell.
I don't know if you've ever seenthat.
I've suggested that to you a fewtimes.
That's a good movie. I don't think there's a movie

(01:57:04):
that turned like, turned something on anime.
A cartoon. No, because like I want to say
like I don't know when it was because like I used to think
that stuff. Even just like.
Existing what like like I used to think that like like I used

(01:57:32):
to, I used to be a kid and I would be depressed and like half
the reason I was depressed or like when I was in and I would
just sleep through my classes and like get the grades that I
got and only pass with the amount that I needed is like,
because I'm like, oh, like I figured out this was like
awesome. Like bullshit like that is just

(01:57:54):
like it's a system. You just got to play the system
like da da, da, da da like it's so.
And then even at home, like whenmy home life wasn't good, it's
like, oh, like you just figured out like, like for the example
of saying just like, OK, like learning not to talk back
anymore, It's like, oh, you justgot to play.
Like to say nothing makes sense,but you just got to like, this

(01:58:17):
is what you got to do. Like, you know, nothing makes
sense. But like, you can't do nothing
about it right now. So you just got to, like, play
the system. You just got to keep playing the
system. When I was a kid, the reason
that like I fucked with like Eminem and Lil Wayne

(01:58:39):
specifically, they're the two that come to mind specifically
because they're they were the ones who always rapped about
like, oh, I'm alien, like I'm analien, right?
And I don't know if that's what you're trying to express in some
way right now about your childhood, but that's what's
coming to my mind right now. We're like when I was a kid or

(01:59:01):
when I was younger and shit likeI really did have like moments
where like maybe not like I'm analien, but like something
doesn't feel right here. Like it's like I, I'm, I don't
know why, but I'm obviously. Like different.

(01:59:24):
Than what's around me and like Idon't like playing along with
the system around me short moment yeah, I get that the
awareness of the second-half of it the awareness of like it just
be oh it's just a system and like you just figure out how to

(01:59:47):
play along with it right yeah that's like a big part why I was
depressed because I didn't want to play it I I wanted to just
die I'm just like well I mean like not to make it dark I'm
fine now obviously but it's like.
I didn't want to be a part of the system so bad.
I I just like just wanted to notexist and I'm just like, what

(02:00:08):
the fuck is this shit like this is dumb.
Like why? My whole life I've just been
forced to play in this system. I don't.
And I feel like this kind of what made it worse, especially
like by the time I was in high school, because it's like, I
mean, probably I, I would say probably like painfully aware of

(02:00:29):
the system by like 10, 9 or 10. I think like moving away, having
to move from Florida to New Jersey made me realize like I
have no control over like the system I'm in.
It's like the whole life I thought I was living where what
existed, how it was going to be disappeared, completely changed.

(02:00:52):
And I was put here And it's like, oh, so like I would just
have no control. Like and then like from there
on, it's just like, oh, you justgot live in the system.
You don't have a choice. Like no matter how much you hate
it, how much you don't like nothing, no matter all these
things you have to do that you don't want to do all these
systems you have to partake in that.
You don't want to partake in allthis stuff, blah, blah, blah.

(02:01:15):
Like and it would be like silly things.
Like obviously now I look back on like years of like everyone
does it. I'm not like crying about like
being a kid and having to do manual.
Labor. But it's the it's like those
ideas of like being it being like much more than just like

(02:01:47):
you doing this thing that was a labor that.
You didn't want to do it's. Like that combined with I guess
like the awareness of situations, like I could be

(02:02:07):
outside 10 years old chopping wood and like I'm online reading
about like war crimes like. People weren't doing.
That at my age, is what I'm trying to say.
So you're just like, I don't know, a little bit more of a
like a icky experience, I guess.Yeah.

(02:02:28):
So I don't know if an alien, I think I've had things like for
me most of my life, it's been always rather than like moments
of like awakening, moments of reliving human experience, like
finding the good pieces of art that invoke feelings that invoke

(02:02:51):
like. I think last time I talked with
you talked about Uncut Gems. Yeah, Yeah.
And just being so good at, like,giving you anxiety and, like,
feeling like the gambler, like the dude who's addicted to
gambling and throwing it like you feel anxious for him.
Yeah. I love those moments because

(02:03:13):
it's like, whoa, like, so real that the shared experience is
real rather than there being, like, a awakening for, like, the
system. I think the profound thing for
me is always just been the shared experience part.
I don't know, sis system movie. That's that's really, actually

(02:03:36):
really, really sweet to have that.
I think a big part like there's this, this dislike, loneliness,
loneliness that I've always had where I, I don't think I knew
many people who like, like the shit that evoked feeling in me.

(02:04:02):
You know what I mean? Like a lot of my peers weren't,
weren't in the matrix. That wasn't, that wasn't a
thing. You know what I mean?
I remember actually the first little kid, I was one of very
few white kids in my type of neighborhood and stuff.
So I remember the first kid who actually knew what I was talking

(02:04:26):
about when I was talking about the Matrix.
And he was actually another little white kid in that
neighborhood. And he was like, we were
pretending to be like cool characters.
And I'm like, he said Neo 1st and I'm like Neo.
And like, it was like this weirdthing where we like, bonded
because we knew we both believedin this.
Like, yeah, yeah, we both believed in this like, woo woo

(02:04:49):
thing. Oh, you know, the matrix in it.
And then we started sharing likethe ideas like, you know what I
mean? I don't think.
I don't think it was until I wasmuch older, almost an adult at
least, like 17 and up, where like I started finding people

(02:05:11):
who had interest in like, some of the weird music I liked or
some of the weird movies that I liked or.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
So I don't know if I can relate to the shared experience thing
you said. I I like moments of like, common
humanity, humanity. Yeah.

(02:05:33):
And I think like when like artists express like a very
particular feeling or emotion, yeah, that you experience as a
human through art and then you experience it through art, it
creates this like common humanity moment where like that
that shared experience. I'm like, I'm like, wow.

(02:05:54):
Like that's why like this profound to have that feeling of
like feeling something when you look at like, experience a piece
of art or something, because then you're like, wow, like
that's common humanity. Like I'm really feeling what
someone else felt like. This is like, so magical of a
moment you're used. You're speaking more to like
connecting with the actual artist or creator of that thing.

(02:06:18):
I think it's just people. Yeah.
Because I don't know, like maybeit's just the connection of
feeling a feeling that you know is real.
Yeah, be expressed by someone through art and then you feeling
it through their art. That feeling of connection is

(02:06:40):
just profound. But that might also just be
profound because I didn't reallyfeel that connected with that
many people, like most of my life.
So like when I have those moments where I feel like I get
someone or they get me like through a piece of art or
something, I'm just like, whoa, really?
Somebody understands. That's awesome.

(02:07:02):
Yeah. Maybe instead of a movie, it'd
be like the whole like Gaza is real thing.
When I was 13, that thing that was like probably like full mask

(02:07:22):
off moment where is like I already knew I was in a system.
I just didn't understand like the lengths of the system, like
how deep the roots of the systemwent.
And then that happened and I'm. Like.
Wait, nothing happened? Like people can just like,

(02:07:46):
commit. Like.
Crimes like on a global stage and just like we don't do
anything, but actually we just protect them from doing it.
Yeah. From anything happening.
I'm like, oh, oh, it's, it's like a whole system system.
Like there's no, it's just whoever says what's they just

(02:08:09):
decide what's right. Yeah.
And then then I was like, fuck this.
After that moment, I was like, fuck all this shit.
I'm like, you're going to tell me.
You're going to tell me this, that, this, that, this, that,
having come to school, act like shit's cool.
I'm like, we're killing fucking people overseas right now saying
it's cool. Like, what the fuck are y'all

(02:08:32):
talking about? They're like, today we're going
to learn algebra. I'm like, fuck this noise.
Yeah. I think it was just overwhelmed.
Like looking back, I'd probably have paid more attention in

(02:08:53):
school for like some subjects, but only, but only because I
feel like some subjects like math and coding, even as much as
I hated it, like fucking absolutely hated it.
I could probably utilize the tools or like homak.

(02:09:15):
I really like homak. Me too.
I'm sad that that's not a thing no more.
I loved homak. I love wood shop.
I love all those Yeah, wood shopwas awesome.
I loved all those classes so much.
I took them all, every last one of them.
Everyone that was ever offered. I always took.
I actually embarrassing moment to make this quick.

(02:09:38):
I went to we had a philosophy one O 1 class in high school and
I don't think many high schools in South Jersey offer that.
I don't know. I don't know, maybe they do.
Was there a philosophy class in your high school?
I don't think it was, no. I don't want to say we had

(02:10:00):
philosophy. We it was just like English and
language arts. This was like a extra curriculum
class. Maybe it did, I don't know.
Well, it was an easy class. It was like one of those like
fail pass classes and people just took it when they.

(02:10:27):
Needed like 1. Or two extra credits to be able
to graduate. It was like a bullshit class and
I signed up for it. I didn't need any credits.
I actually had all the credits. I came from a The good thing
about going to school in a residential program and and

(02:10:48):
being an IEP kid like I had. I had more credits than I needed
when I went to my back to regular school because the
academic rate was so fucking lowand no school still today lowest
in the state. I get in trouble when I talk
about it, but I had more creditsthan I needed and I took the
class because I was, you know, me, dawg, I'm like interested in

(02:11:11):
that shit. And I remember sitting in class
and it got brought up about how like people he's like, all
right, I know, like, you guys just took this class because you
needed the credit or whatever. And like, like, no, I wanted to
take this class and like every way, even him, he's like, get
out of here. Come on.
Yeah, you really wanted to take this and everyone in the class,

(02:11:31):
like get the fuck out of here. You trying to be a teacher's
pet? Brown nosing and shit like the
fuck out of here. No, like I really wanted to say
I felt so embarrassed. I don't think I cared about that
class after that. Damn, I don't think I cared
anymore. You're talking about talking
about classes, and I think I just.

(02:11:51):
Had it. I'm not sure if I had a
realization or not. If you want to walk through with
me, yeah, let's go 1st. Which one do you need before we
go down this I think I had a realization.

(02:12:12):
I think school was easy. Yeah, I think that.
I know it was easy because if itwasn't easy, I wouldn't have got
through school the way I. Did by passing my.
Test and doing nothing else. Yeah.
So like I have I have proof to prove to myself it was easy.

(02:12:37):
But I say all that to say that Ithink I had the realization that
maybe I was like really overwhelmed in school because
like you're talking about classes and it's making me have
the realization overwhelmed. Yeah.

(02:12:59):
OK. And I and I almost want to think
like my sleep, me sleeping in classes as much as I did
probably had something to do with more than just the
depression. I was like getting from being
home and then going to school and then like doing the whole
system. And I think like even being in

(02:13:20):
school, like the overwhelmingness of being in
school, like the social anxiety and everything, it was easier to
just shut down and go to sleep and like hide from it because I
already knew what I needed to doto pass.
And then that meant I didn't have to deal with any of

(02:13:41):
anything else because like in school I was extremely
disorganized. Even to this day I'm really I
struggle with organization, but like my.
Locker was a. Mess.
I can never find anything. And like what sparked is when
you said classes and then I justremember like the list of like

(02:14:04):
electives and like all the different stuff.
And like I've just immediately felt anxiety when you said it.
And it was like thinking about like looking at a big list of
like, so all these different things to pick from.
And then I was thinking about like, having a backpack full of
like, books and all these different papers that had to be

(02:14:25):
handed every single class and how everyday I would always
like, be like searching through my backpack in my locker to find
things. I can never find it.
I'm just like sitting here thinking like, damn, was I just
like, really overwhelmed all thetime in school and like, just
driving myself into shutting down all the time whenever I
could to cope Because like, I would come home and go to sleep

(02:14:48):
to cope. And then I would go into school
and sleep to cope. Like is that really what was
just happening all this time? Like or maybe not in its on its
own, but like as the collective,you know what I mean?
Because I I have dreams like my whole life I've had dreams and I

(02:15:08):
never understood why I have these dreams about like me in
school, in schools. I've never even been to like
colleges and stuff and like. Trying to find.
My classroom and I can't find myclassroom and I'm like like like

(02:15:29):
worried about being late that I'm going to be late to class
and like, or I'm going to be marked tardy for the day because
I couldn't find my classroom or like just I have, I had these
dreams my whole life, like all the time, like and I never
understand. I can never understand.
I'm like, having him in school for years, Like, why I still
have these dreams? It's like, I think maybe I think

(02:15:50):
that I realize now that maybe I was just really overwhelmed and
that it was like, such an overwhelming experience for me
that I still have dreams about it.
But like, I shut so much of it out that it doesn't even, like,
I don't even think about it. Yeah.
Because that's crazy. I think like I just pieced it

(02:16:12):
all. Together.
I don't know. It's kind of crazy, yeah.
I can't think of any. Other reason why I would like.
Still dream about? These kind of dreams, excluding
the dream part, you know, a lot of that, it feels very
relatable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(02:16:34):
You suffer with that shit too. Yeah.
And the crazy part is I like class I didn't like doing.
Class. Work and homework.
See, that's the weird part. It's like I like, I low key
liked school, like I liked class, like I like learning.

(02:16:55):
Yeah, I'm someone who likes learning to this day.
Yeah, like I loved listening to whatever course we had lesson
for the day. I always read the books like I
had but like, so I I had alreadyread, read the whole textbook
like before we're even like a week in the school like you get
your class book right. Oh my couldn't wait to start
relooking, looking through it and reading.

(02:17:16):
It was always waiting. Oh my God, I it was so exciting
all that. Yeah, again, relatable, but
doing the fucking classwork and homework Fuck all that mess.
It was really just like but I love learning the.
The. System is just so painful.
It's just such a painful thing and man, I hate to like trauma

(02:17:44):
dump and shit but you no do it do it.
You're evoking like so many emotions from different moments
of my childhood and that that shit's relatable.
Like just sleeping and just likecoping and tuning out and all
that. Have dreams about trying to find
the right bus and I can't find the right bus.

(02:18:06):
Looking for the number on the bus, Don't know my number, can't
find it. Crazy, man.
I'm ready for the trauma dump. It's just like, if I'm all
right, I'm going to zone into teenage years, right?
Because like I always mentioned from time to time that like I
grew up in a cult with a cult part was really just from 11 to

(02:18:31):
18. It went on a few years after
that, but I left. I I got the fuck out of there at
18. That's just, I wasn't welcome
there anyway. But plot twist, I wasn't going
to be around or be welcomed. So it's not a funny, funny.
I remember 2 days before. Those are really good.

(02:18:53):
What this flavor. Yeah, yeah, hell yeah.
I remember 2 days before I turned 18, like we, me and my
mom both knew what it was from each other.
Like the time's come. Good luck, son.
That like the unspoken sentimentin the air between us.
It's just like, all right. Like this shit's over with,

(02:19:13):
you're out of here. I know you want to be out of
here and I want you out of here.Like the feelings were just so
mutual between me and my parents.
You could feel it in the air. It's unspoken.
I did the math, and I'm like, because my, my, my dad was
petty, so he would make me stay there till the day I turned 18.

(02:19:36):
But like, I put together the math of his, like, work schedule
and my work schedule for the next two days.
And I knew that by the time he could catch up to me, I would
have been officially 18. So I actually got out of there
two days early. Extra petty.
Yeah. Extra petty.
I remember the moment where likeadulthood unlocked for me

(02:19:58):
because it was 2 days went by and it was the day that I turned
18 and I was still on his cell phone plan or whatever and he
called me in the middle of the night.
It was like 3 in the morning, but I was at work so I was like
awake and I answered respect your father calls.

(02:20:19):
I'm thinking childhood like you know, I answer it.
He starts just. Talking his shit to me.
And I'm taking it right because as I would as his child, right?
And I just remember, I don't even know what he was saying,
but he was like threatening me and shit.
And like in my mind, the switch just came on and was like,

(02:20:44):
you're an adult. You don't have to participate in
this anymore. And I remember saying that like,
I'm grown. I don't have to participate in
this no more. And I hung up the phone and then
I personally. Didn't talk to him.
Again, he ended up going to prison.
I never spoke to him again afterthat night.
Damn. And I that was his cell phone.

(02:21:06):
That's what he was mad about. So after work when he wasn't
home and everyone was still sleeping, I went to go put the
cell phone back in his mailbox so I didn't have to even see
them. But living in his house was so
depressing and that just that system of like, his narcissism

(02:21:27):
and coatiness and like all that.And then like, you just took me
to that time with the like, justsleeping, just getting through
the system of OK, I know what I got to do to keep this
motherfucker off my ass. And I know what I have to do to
not have any trouble in school. So, you know, you just do that
and you cope and fuck off and you sleep and you just, yeah,

(02:21:51):
what a awful time. And then three years from the
time I was, I spent my 12th birthday in a detention center.
From that moment till when I turned like 15 or 16/15/15 I was

(02:22:14):
in a program. So I wasn't in the.
Home. I was like away.
I was taken out of the home. I was a ward of the state.
The state had custody of me and I was in this program and like I
went to that high school and I got to have like my life wasn't
like my home life. There was everything about it

(02:22:39):
that needed to make it a home life.
You know what I mean? Mom dad home school food rule
like there was but I didn't realize how not normal that.
Shit was. Until I was in the normal shit
and how like those anxious feelings you're talking about

(02:23:01):
like not going to school everyday and like looking
forward to going to school because that shit was going to
be fun because it was just everything was fun.
You weren't anxious about anything.
Like we're all IEP kids in this school.
So like the grades don't even matter.
It's about meeting our goals. We are all just achieving our

(02:23:22):
goals and so much art and extra curriculum classes and so much
knowledge and fun learning because education is different
when it's like stimulating and fun and just living a child's

(02:23:43):
life without all those anxious things and overwhelming feelings
that you're talking about. And then I had to go back to the
home, which is I don't have manyregrets besides my 20s, but one
regret is when I turned 15, whenI graduated the program, I had

(02:24:05):
two choices. I could have went back.
I could have went back home, which I did, or I could have
went into a independent living program and just stayed on my
own where they would have taughtme how to just take care of
myself. And I should have did that
because I went back home becauseI meant I, I was trying to fill
that void. You know, I've always, even to
this day, I carry around that void, that emptiness of like,

(02:24:28):
not feeling like I belong to family.
Yeah. I feel like I have a connection
with my mom and dad and siblings.
So I was chasing that. I'm like, shit, my parents said
I can come back to the home. I want to go back and be with my
family and stuff. Man, I remember like the last
two. Years of.
Living with them, it was like, it felt like a prison sentence.

(02:24:49):
It's felt more like jail time than when I was actually in
jail. Like because when I was actually
in jail. Because I was.
Being in jail was being away from all the religious Coty shit
so I could actually watch moviesin jail and learn about culture
in jail and listen to music videos and shit and look at

(02:25:09):
bitches shaking her ass and rap videos.
Like I have all that that I couldn't have in a home and that
shit felt more like jail time. I remember counting me and all
my brothers and sisters did it. The older ones, counting down
the days till you're 18 just so you get the fuck out of there.
That's crazy. I used to play.

(02:25:30):
I used to play fucking the worstdays.
See, I kept a job. I started working at 14.
Two jobs, the thrift store and the kitchen didn't want to be
home. Then I got a job at McDonald's.
As soon as I got my working papers, I didn't want to be
home. I told that, you know, I'd work
every single day after school and give a fuck.
One time I worked at McDonald's,I quit there, started Rite Aid.

(02:25:54):
I was working Rite Aid and pumping gas on the Turnpike.
Anything to just not be home. And the days that I didn't have
work, I had to stay home becausethat was the rules, even at 17.
And that was the days where you just had to, you reserved like
all your coping energy for thosedays because you want a needle,

(02:26:16):
man, You just knew. I just put Motown music on on
the radio and sit at my garage door and just watch the cars
pass and just think, like, all right, only a year, three months
and two days. I'm getting the fuck out of here
just counting the days down. Fucking miserable.

(02:26:44):
Ah, I hated that. I hated that as I'm sure you
hated those moments too that youwere talking about.
I can't even yeah, that's, that's got to be a crazy trip.
It's it's so it's so wild to. Me to think.

(02:27:06):
That like you guys were all likecounting down the days.
I think it's the thought of likemultiple siblings or like
scratching down like how many days you got left.
Yeah, that's wild. Yo, fucking what a time, man.

(02:27:36):
What a time. I hate feeling like trauma.
Don't be. Nah, it's cool.
It was a good. It was good.
I like, ran away from homeless kids.
Yeah, everyone the the four oldest of the siblings all did.

(02:28:01):
And I you know what, Cal? I'm sorry.
I love you so much. I love you so much.
I'm sorry if you're mad at me for telling your business, but I
give her the most credit. Like when it comes to us as
kids, like having balls. She she did it the craziest way.

(02:28:25):
When I ran away from home, I just, I told mom I was actually,
I felt like I was kind of respectful actually, because I
told my mom I was going to. And I remember I walked up and I
told her I said, because the door you had to lock it from the
inside, right? And I left my key because I was
making a point, left my key there.

(02:28:48):
And I told her, I said, I need you to lock the door behind me.
And she's like, why? And I'm like, I'm out of here.
I'm leaving. And I remember here as I'm going
out the door, I hear her say, you wait right there.
Why get your father? Because he was sleeping for
work, right? And I remember thinking in my
head when I heard her saying that, like, what makes you think

(02:29:13):
that I'm going to sit here and wait for him to come?
Like I am out here. As soon as you said I'm getting
your father was the moment I started running, I was gone.
Like put the skates on. I'm getting your father pee
gone. What the fuck gone.
Shit. I was gone for like a week

(02:29:34):
before they found me. And to be truthful, it's funny
because like, they all really feel like I like they eventually
were. Going to get me.
Like catch me and bring me back home and like, because I'm like
a stupid kid and you only get sofar before a stupid kid gets

(02:29:56):
caught or whatever. But like, what they don't really
realize is that like, they wouldn't have found me if I
didn't want to be found. I actually wanted to be brought
back home. I was actually like, I'd be out
there in the project smoking with the homies and shit and
thinking in my head, right? Like, I think I'm just going to

(02:30:18):
walk back and forth down the Main Street tomorrow just so a
cop can see me and finally fucking catch me and take me
back home. Like I'm ready to go shower, you
know? But when my little sisters ran
away, these bitches jumped off this.
Out their. Window off the roof of the
house. Oh, that's crazy.

(02:30:39):
They jumped off the roof. Nah, if if me running away from
home depended on me having to jump off the roof, I would not
have ran away from home. Yeah, that's great.
I would have waited till school the next day or something.
Yeah. Nah.
They had fucking balls, man. I was in the mountains.

(02:31:01):
I've been in so much trouble growing up, right?
That like, even now today when I'm driving and the cop gets
behind me, I'm not doing nothingwrong.
But the anxiety comes. Yeah, of course.
And there's a lot of times in mychildhood where I would go long
periods of time where, like, being really, really good,
trying my hardest, and then something will happen and I'd be

(02:31:23):
in a world of trouble or whatever.
Right. So I was up in the mountains
with my uncle for a week in the Poconos and I kept getting and
the service was patchy. This was back with Nextel's, the
chirps and shit. Texan was a lot harder.

(02:31:44):
I kept getting all these like chirps and messages and shit
because like all these state troopers were at my house and I
remember I kept calling back home like trying to like figure
out what was going on and my parents wouldn't tell me
nothing. And so the I literally have
ruined my whole vacation becausethe whole vacation I had anxiety

(02:32:05):
that something from my they theyfound out something from my past
or something like that happened a lot.
Like, you get away with so much and then, you know, you're not
even doing nothing wrong, but you know, just some shit from
the past just pops up and now you got to deal with that.
So I'm thinking like, I'm in trouble for something and as
soon as I go back home, I'm going to be arrested.

(02:32:28):
And my parents don't want to tell me that so I don't not come
back home. Instead of just telling me like,
no, your little sisters ran awayfrom home, The cops got called,
whatever. I was so anxious the whole
vacation. I thought I was in so much
trouble. Damn.
And I get home and there's like nothing.
They're like, I don't want to come back from vacation.
I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know.

(02:32:51):
Died in the mountains. I remember.
Listen, I was already I this is not to glorify anything.
This is to to point to how hurt and angry I was as a kid.
But like I had. Already just was facing prison
terms at such a young age and I remember that whole period of

(02:33:12):
running away from home and shit like like I had been through so
much already. I remember the cop was getting
mad at me because he had to keepgetting called back to my house
for me running away. And he's just like trying to
scare me with like jail and shit.

(02:33:32):
And I'm like dog, like been there done that.
Like I want you to take me back.Life was better when I was
locked up. Like life was better I than the
home life. And they wouldn't fucking take
me back. They would not take me to jail.

(02:33:53):
I feel like they were doing it because I wanted to go back.
They wouldn't take me back. I would literally I asked him.
I said, how many times do you doI have to run away from home
before you guys get fed up and you throw me back in jail?
And he was like, he was going tohave to take a couple time.
I would literally leave my houseand walk across the street while

(02:34:15):
my dad was at work, walk across the street just so it was
technically like me running awayfrom home and they'd call the
cops and the cop will pull up and be like, I remember the cop
told me one time he said your dad should beat your ass.
You, you keep having me getting called out here.
You someone should beat your ass.
Like just take me to jail, dog. Can you just take me to fucking

(02:34:38):
jail? That's so damn, bro.
Damn, I'm sorry I did that. Nah, that's.
Cool, I was so sorry. No, it's cool.
I'm trying to think of even the words so like damn bro.

(02:35:06):
School, I guess, sucked. I'm sorry.
One last yeah. No, no, no.
School fucking sucked. Especially.
Like going back to regular school, like I already had a
hard time. I was a IEP kid, I needed
special like environments to succeed.
So like just a regular school system was just painful and

(02:35:30):
impossible for me. And it was that way before I
went to the good schools I went to.
And it was even worse after. Even with all the tools that I
learned from those schools, it was fucking painful.
I hated every fucking second of it.
I swear to God I hated that shit.
I remember used to sit like being in the schools that I was

(02:35:50):
in where we were all IEP kids and these teachers are IEP
teachers and like everyone understands how to work with us.
And like it was just like, even though like getting in trouble
and all that, like was such a different thing and those
schools than regular school and like teachers.

(02:36:14):
Would yell at me and. Shit in high school and I
remember just thinking like whatdo you want to do?
Write me up, Send me to the office.
Like being in programs and detention centers like the the
repercussions of. Fucking.
Around in certain areas is bad. I mean in the detention center

(02:36:36):
you can get you could get beat up by the CE OS honestly, you
know what I mean? Like there's real consequences
to being an asshole. Whereas like in regular school
it, it was just like the stakes were so low, but the teachers

(02:36:59):
were like using it as if like itwas like such a crazy thing.
It's like you, you're going to write me up, get a day in ISS or
suspend or detention. Like it just, I don't know, it
was a hard transition. It, it was hard for me to like,

(02:37:20):
respect it or like be afraid of it enough to like stay in line.
I just thought it was all. I just thought school was so
fucking silly. It felt so meaningless.
Anyway, I'm done. I'm really done now.
Nah, it's those things worked onme because I didn't, because if
that happened to me, I'm fucked.Like when I get home, I'm

(02:37:42):
fucked. It's like.
I got AF once, one time I was grounded for a year, a year like
and I got my ass beat like and then you grounded for a year.

(02:38:08):
Grounded for a year doesn't justmean like you don't get to do
anything you want, it means likeyou're doing hella more shit you
didn't want to do. But yeah, you're basically and
you got your ass beat Mercy. Yeah, like, no, like you got
written up. Oh, I'm getting my ass beat bad.
Like you go from you go from just being a child, which is an

(02:38:30):
awful position to be in that family dynamic already to be in
the family, peasant. Yeah, it's way worse.
Yeah, yeah, you definitely drop a whole social class within this
family, the family structure, Right, right.
Yeah, it's bad yeah. That was that year sucked yeah,

(02:38:54):
yeah. And I I was using the computer
already at the. Time so like.
A year grounding. Damn.
A year I couldn't be on the computer.
I would have to try to, like, sneak it, Yeah, try to get on
the computer for a hour, like from like midnight to 1:00 and
then get back upstairs like before he woke up at like 3 or

(02:39:15):
4, he'd start getting ready for work.
Yeah, not worth it, but fuck that.
So I don't know. I.
Was I I. Was scared 'cause it would just
make my home life shit shittier.I guess I was comfortable enough
with the neutral and didn't likehow bad the negative side was.

(02:39:42):
Like the negative side could just go away.
It was disproportionate though. I don't know.
A a, A left us. Doing good was expected.
So like when you did good, it didn't matter.
Yeah, yeah. And then when you did bad, it
was like hell on earth. It's kind of left us in like a

(02:40:02):
fucked predicament in a sense oflike all that could probably be
contributed to like the superpower you have or had and
still have now of like being resourceful and like probably

(02:40:28):
being more aware. All those little things, all
those little superpower things that ADHD give you.
You know what I'm trying to lay down, right?
Like you get that. So there's really nothing that
you probably can't survive or like figure out.
And like, no matter how intense the suffering, the like

(02:40:49):
consistent suffering is in your that's present, right?
You can like adjust and adapt and cope and get through it,
right? So you've been given that
superpower, but at the same timelike and also leaves like this
super intense, like work pry paralysis, all you like product

(02:41:13):
productivity paralysis, right? And you just stuck with both.
It's like I. Equal force that just works
against each other. You know what I mean?
Then you got to try to harness both when you can.
I don't even know, dude. I don't even know.

(02:41:43):
Another three hour episode. Fire Birth there be Christmas.
Birth there be Christmas. Yeah, I guess it is a a
Christmas episode. Yeah, birth therapy Christmas.
Y'all get the whole kitten. What was it Matrix Adam and Eve
and school Feliz Navidad. Hey, Feliz Navidad or or or or

(02:42:11):
Bella Kaliki maca and you got that one.
I don't know that one. That's that is the thing to say
on a warm Hawaii. Christmas.
Day. Something like that.
Just Merry Christmas in Hawaii. I'm going to take your word for

(02:42:32):
it. Where'd you learn that?
Well, there's assault. Where'd you learn that?
They play Christmas music. Mela Kaliki maca is the thing to
say. Are you fucking serious?
Are you serious? Wait wait wait, are you serious?

(02:42:53):
You learned that from Yeah. Now playing Mele Kalikimaka
single version by Bing. Crosby and The Andrews Sisters
on Apple Music. Mele Kalikimaka is a thing.

(02:43:15):
To say I do remember that Christmas Day, great Hawaiian
Christmas Day, that's the islandgreeting.
That we send to you. From the land where palms we
sway here, we know that Christmas will be green and
bright. Yeah.

(02:43:36):
You remember that? Yeah.
Why are you so disgusted? You just hate that time.
You just that song just like reminds me, it's just like that
song carries like the smell of death.
Oh my God, it just. Need a trauma don't now I've.

(02:43:59):
Taken you to a place. No, it's just like when you walk
in there, it's like death. It has like a bad vibe.
Bad or And that song is playing and it sounds like dystopian,
like I expect to hear that song playing like when there's like a
bunch of dead bodies on the floor.

(02:44:25):
I don't know. Something about it is very
soulless and eerie. It's probably a beautiful song.
I'm so sorry, but it's the sentiment it's attached to when
I was here. Like we were.
All gangsters and jeez and like,you know what I mean?
But now I just feel like it's just full to illness.
Yeah. Like, it's just like weird

(02:44:47):
vibes. And anyway, I'll stop there.
Yes. Merry Christmas, Melka.
Leaky maca, baby. Merry Christmas, everybody.
Love you.