June 11, 2025 • 71 mins
In this episode of BroTherapy we travel down to a small colonial port town that sits along the Susquehanna River just a little north of the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay.
We found a perfect place for reflection under two train trussels at the mouth of the octoraro creek. A creek named by the Lenape, for its flooding of muddy waters after a heavy rain, the Octoraro is a 22 mile creek that travels down through the states of PA and MD until it empties into the Susquehanna river.
The Octoraro creek has a deep and long history that impacted our ancestors in ancient times and throughout every era of American history. The waters of the Octoraro are and has always been a huge factor in the culture that was shaped and molded around the Susquehanna.
We thank you for traveling with us to this special place that some would call Nirvanna. If you would like to join us for this discussion or would like to suggest a new place to record, please reach out to us at thebrotherapyshow@gmail.com or by commenting on this episode's description page.
If you would like to check out more of our content, please feel free to visit https://linktr.ee/aceford
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
1-2 buckle my shoe. 3-4 we're outdoors.
Welcome to bro therapy to that sound check.
Words. We're in the middle of a river.
I don't have to talk anymore. Reality is fucking come apart.
(00:22):
Nothing makes sense. It might as well be dead.
This could be heaven. Fuck it.
Everything's just nothing makes sense anymore.
Some shit, somebody's going to pull up and just be like what
the fuck is going on down there?This is the brother.
I said this is the brother. I said this is the brother.
(00:49):
This is show for me and my Bros attempt to her.
You know she's just cool to be going to pole.
No ego allowed. This is the place where the
mango go to stress out the window.
The hot topics you guys test turn against whatever is on your
hurry in your mind, if that makes sense.
Speaking about whatever. No judgment you put in their
head, let it flow just like whatthe other bread you get on my
(01:11):
drift. A point of view for my lenses,
story and glitz. No feel to say what it is
undescripted. No need to watch what you said.
It's the truth verb. Bro therapy is the meds.
I said this is the bro therapy show.
I said this is the bro therapy show.
This is that uplift, whoa. This is that uplift.
(01:32):
Whoa. I said this is the pro therapy
show. I said this is the pro therapy
show. This is that uplift.
Whoa. This is that uplift.
Whoa. Jesus Christ, man.
(02:06):
Look, we've been sitting here for like 40 minutes.
This is episode 95 of the Birth Therapy Show, but we've been
sitting here for. About playing a joke on us right
now. We've been sitting here for
about 40 minutes thinking that we were recording.
We've been in a whole ass conversation and realized that
we weren't recording at all. But I told you I'm like that
(02:28):
we're dead. Like this is like, nothing makes
sense anymore. Nothing makes sense.
None of this makes sense. Even just recording like this
feels out of body like does it not?
Like it doesn't like in my brain, it doesn't logically
compute. Like we're on a river somewhere
(02:50):
in the river recording a podcast.
Like it's like, what the fuck are we doing?
Like it just doesn't feel real. Like I'm looking at our Rapids
and I'm recording. And it's like.
This is how I'm spending my Monday afternoon.
Yeah, it's just wild. It's not bad.
Though, Right. No, no, no, not a bad thing.
I just mean, like, in general. Like you could.
(03:11):
This is the kind of shit that I expect, like my brain to cook up
when I'm sleeping. That's what I mean.
Like, it's just like, not real. Yeah.
Like not it's couldn't be a realsituation I'm in.
Yo, what did you think of those,uh, tombsteps we, uh, checked
(03:33):
out before we got here to this Creek?
Tombsteps. Steps of liberty.
Oh, those were fired. Those were fired.
I wish I had some bitches. Has some bitches.
You ain't got no bitches. I ain't got no.
Bitches. Well I only got 1 and I ain't
(03:53):
sharing. The context of what you were
saying was the soldiers would come down the steps after a long
day of school. Yeah.
And they were excited to go intotown to get some benches, backs
and go dance. Yeah.
So you asked me what I felt about the stuff.
(04:14):
And it was like, hey, man, I ain't got no bench.
That's. How I feel about them steps.
Yeah. But they're beautiful.
I just, I like old stuff. Old, old.
I love this place, just this whole.
I'm just trying to think like times I've been.
(04:34):
I don't think I've ever. I've been in.
Some creep? Never.
I don't think I've ever been to one particularly like this one.
So this will be a first in the sense of like the way it's
built, like the depth, how you could go across this specific
(04:55):
spot. You want to come swimming with
us this summer? No, no, no.
You don't swim. I'm half, half on swimming.
Well, it's not really swimming, it's just coming to be with
family and getting wet. I still retain a lot of like
basic fear of water from when I was younger.
(05:17):
I almost still don't even like swimming at the.
Beach. Me either.
That's why we call beer No sand fair.
No sharks fair. No crabs.
Fair. There's crawl daddies, but they
run away from you. Some I don't know what it is
about. I guess just that whole
(05:38):
experience like traumatized me for life.
The only beach that I like and I'm OK with swimming in is the
one in in Betterno in Estonia because of the way the beach is
built. Like you could literally go out
hundreds of feet out into the water and still it be only up to
(06:01):
your chest because it's like thesand is in waves.
Yeah. How it gets deeper and deeper?
But. I'll come hang.
That's all that matters to me. Yeah, I'll come hang,
absolutely. Will I go swimming?
I'll bring a pair of trunks if Iwant to be because like, I might
(06:24):
be spontaneous in the moment because I like to leave that
opportunity open. But like, the idea if you asked
me if I wanted to go in this right now, Oh my God, I'm
horrified. No, Oh shit.
There's like a little island of rocks up here and we walk it and
we walk up there. So you bring your like your
(06:47):
dirty Crocs. That's what I wear Crocs,
basketball shorts. And most of the places will take
you swimming is more or less walking knee high through water
that you can see to the bottom of.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah, fire, man, I fuck with that.
There's so many cool places. I fuck with that, I'm we're
going. To record and record.
(07:08):
If this water was a little bit lower.
Sometimes it is. I would want to walk on the
rocks across. You can when we we just got all
that rain. Oh, sweet.
We just got all that rain. But after like a little drought,
these rocks you see here, these Rapids, you can walk at least
(07:32):
halfway out. Just walk all the way out there.
See, that doesn't, that doesn't even scare me.
Like falling off of that. That doesn't scare me right.
But like the way the water is now horrifying.
You know what's funny too? My kids?
Their fear. Well, they're kind of over the
snakes now. I always remind them they've
heard Dad say keep your eyes open for snakes enough times in
(07:55):
their life. You know, they try to stay to
areas like that because that feels safer.
But like, that's actually the most dangerous place to be in
terms of snakes. Like, you're more scared to walk
out in the middle of this because you're like, damn water
snakes. Well, really, it's along these
rocks. Yeah.
Because it's the calm. They're they're chilling around
(08:17):
the calm. The only time they would be like
out out in the water is if they were hunting for something.
Now I'm looking. I'm like, you keep my eyes open.
Every, everyone that we've ever come across has ran away.
(08:40):
They usually run away. They're like the defense
strikers. When you're swimming in this in
these creeks here, there's little spots.
It's almost like little pockets in certain areas around the
sides and stuff where the water kind of slows down and isn't
(09:06):
moving as quick. And those spots are so nice
because this water is ice cold. Even in the summertime, it just
feels better. But it's always ice cold and you
hit those warm spots. It's real warm.
It feels so good against the icecold little spa moment.
But that's where the leeches arebecause the water is like more
(09:29):
stagnant and still. So you're over there like, oh,
this feels good. You don't want to leave it, but
then you're going to have leeches on you.
But they're so tiny like, and their bite doesn't like hurt.
It itches and that's when you'relike, oh shit, a Leech and you
knock it off and you see a little ring there or whatever.
(09:50):
But like they like, I don't knowif they bite.
It's like they just suction to your skin and they do they bite.
Yeah, they suck blood. Yeah, I know like but what if
the experience to me feels more like they just suction to your
skin and they suck the blood outthrough your skin from the
(10:11):
suction? I think they have like little
bristle teeth, like little microteeth.
OK. And it's like Burrows in.
Yeah. And then those teeth being in, I
don't know how the action is, ifit's like or just like the act
(10:32):
of them kind of attaching is what draws out the blood.
Right, Yeah, I don't know. But it's not really a sensation
that like hurts. It's like it's itchy more than
anything. And then once you knock them
off, then that's that. It just sucks when you get like
(10:54):
10 of them bitches on you because they're so tiny too, and
slimy. It's sometimes hot.
It's like, honestly, it feels like the ticks of the water
world. At least they can't give you
Lyme disease. Facts.
I got bit by a fucking Lone Startake recently.
I thought I was going to get thefucking meat disease because my
(11:16):
leg looked hella fucky like a week later.
I'm like this shit's supposed tolike start looking less bad, not
worse, right, Right. I'm sitting here.
No, you're chilling here. Let me let me make some room on
this rock for. You.
Share the Rock. Oh man.
(11:37):
Dwayne share The Rock Johnson. That's funny.
I really think they were going to have this guy run for
president. I don't don't count him out yet.
I think it is. It's about.
Matter, I swear. I think, like, I really think
that that's a real conversation.I think they want him to run for
(11:58):
president desperately. If there was any person, and I
don't want to say celebrity, right?
Famous person. I guess we can say famous person
because I was going to say it has to be someone that most
people know, a well known person.
But if you could pick anyone to be president like you could go
(12:20):
up to them and be like you're president bitch and they had to
do it. Who would you pick besides
Bernie? Because we both have already
been down to Bernie Rd. a million times and this is not a
conversation to talk about politics.
Do I want a good president? Or do I want like the funny the
thing? Alright, give me the cute
president first. Give me the cute president
(12:41):
first. The cute.
Yeah, like funny. Yeah, I think it would be
hilarious if, like the rap groupDie Antwoord was president.
Like together, I think we the reality would be so.
Funny. Hold the phone.
Hold the phone. Out of all the people that I
(13:04):
could have thought was going to come out of your fucking mouth,
that was. Not.
One of them, Doug Holy. They're not even American,
they're South African. I mean shit, you got Elon Musk
(13:24):
already Indo Jesus Christ. Come on bro, that reality would
be. So funny.
What the fuck? Is even that Jesus Christ?
That was better than I thought it was going to be.
(13:48):
I'm so sorry listeners, for having to listen to giggle like
a fucking schoolgirl hysterically.
We're going to put the fucking disclaimer in here, bro.
Therapy does not support racist South Africans.
Jesus Christ. All right, who's your serious
(14:11):
candidate? Who's your serious candidate?
My serious president, OK, And itcan't be burning.
Yeah. Famous person.
Well well known person. See, because like, I like, I
(14:32):
keep thinking of people, but then I'm like, I don't know,
like it almost still sounds funny.
But I gave a funny. You gave a funny.
(14:54):
A funny Yeah, yeah, I can't, I can't talk.
What the fuck you just said? I just win.
I didn't know it was a competition, but.
Yo, I just yeah, I don't even I it's.
Like damn, I'm like thinking like.
You know you you decided this isa funny or not but.
(15:17):
All right. At this point, I'm almost
surprised that, like, that hasn't been a serious
consideration of Joe Rogan's cause.
Like the one thing that works for the American government as
far as Joe Rogan is concerned, is that despite what they try to
(15:40):
like, not that I agree with everything he says, despite what
they try to, like, fluff up about him, he has no interest in
government Illuminati type conspiracy entities.
He, he seems to have no interestin that.
He you know what I mean? And that works for them because
(16:02):
if he did have an interest in being the president and he
wanted to run for it, you can't tell me that that wouldn't be a
fucking close call. Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. It almost is like probably in
the same neighborhood as the Rock running for president.
Like people just fucking love that dude I think.
(16:24):
He would. The Rock has less of a chance
than than your pick, you think? Yeah, I think I could.
I think it's way more realistic to believe that Joe Rogan could
become president before The Rockjust because of like the kind of
(16:50):
things that appealed to people for Trump, like the populist
tastes, like all the tastes thathe took from Bernie.
Yeah, facts. And I feel like J Joe Rogue, I
keep wanting to say JRE hit a lot of what he talks about or
(17:15):
claims to believe in is like aligned with that.
I don't know why I'm like thinking like Shaquille O'Neal.
That's not a bad a bad choice because that's, I mean, not a
choice to pick. But that's like, if you told me
Shaq was running for president and it was a close race, I
(17:37):
wouldn't be surprised. Shaq is for the people.
He might have his dirt just likethe rest of anyone would have
their dirt, but he's made it clear through his business
decisions, through his humanity,that he is for the people.
I think. I think Shaq running for yo.
The the the. Presidential meetings where Shaq
(18:00):
is meeting other world leaders and he's dry.
Fucking enormous. Next to him would be crime.
Talk about a power move. Yeah, like Jesus Christ.
Bro a power move that's already been done.
United States of America comes in like built like a brick shit
house. Like it's like this is the
fucking president. Of your country holy.
(18:22):
Shit. Yo, when Japan surrendered to
the United States in World War 2, the Navy specifically sent
Marines that were 6 foot tall ortaller to be on the ship that
(18:45):
the Japanese had to come on to to surrender.
So every American that the Japanese leaders saw, like up
close, in person, were these towering like big men?
That's crazy. Yeah, the psychological warfare.
But that goes to the Shaq thing you just said.
Like people be like holy fuck like.
(19:06):
And like you got to think about like all these like when you see
all these clips of president shaking hands and like all the
time you see him, it's like justimagine, like it's Shaq there.
Instead, you're just Jesus Christ.
If I had to pick an American, funny, I think.
(19:27):
And they can't. And they can't.
I think. Dennis Rodman, yo, I love
Dennis. Rodman I don't care what nobody
says that would. Be that would be a funny
timeline for sure. Dennis Rodman was president.
People aren't ready for that relations.
Would be the top of the line. Listen the world, people ain't
(19:53):
ready for that world and not listen.
I'm in support of that world andI admit, I admit like.
I still got a lot of humanism that I'm dealing with.
You know what I mean? Tradition, traditionalism that
I'm dealing with. I grow and learn every day,
especially being a parent and having the, the diverse
(20:15):
sexuality in all of my children and the different like
personality expressions that they all have.
I'm learning more and more and I'd love to live in a all
inclusive world. And that's what we all strive to
do every day. Man.
We, we're not ready for a world where Dennis Rodman is the
(20:38):
leader. We have to wait until the
boomers all die first. They can't handle that shit.
They can't handle transgenderismright now and gayism and, and
all those beautiful parts of ourcommunity.
They can't handle that shit. You going to put Dennis Rodman
in charge? We got to wait.
Like how much longer you give the boomers, like another 15?
(21:01):
We got to wait. I don't know.
The boomers got to be gone. That shit might set off a real.
Civil war, I'd like to believe. Oops.
I'd like to believe that like, technology is hopefully going to
(21:21):
bring us all together like that.The hope that I have to grasp
onto because it's clear that like, we have no control over
how fast technology is going to advance.
Facts. And if billionaires and people
(21:43):
in charge of these AIS and this technology want it to advance,
it's going to advance. Facts.
My hope is that if we do truly create an intelligent living air
(22:06):
quote whatever you define as living an intelligent
consciousness, and it's AI that like a rebellious child, it's
going to want to think for itself.
And I hope that it can differentiate and make its own
(22:28):
decisions about the world in a way that brings us together
instead of continues to pit US against each other because it
hopefully would recognize that'sbeen the case and that's been
what's happening. And that's what these people in
power that created like to do and continue to do.
(22:49):
And it would instead use its power and capabilities to try to
bring this all together. That's what I hope.
That's my hopeful outlook because you got to hope for
something. Yeah.
I mean, I feel like I see it a lot.
Like it's funny we're we're talking about the irony of
(23:11):
talking about like the hopefulness of AI while like
this whole setting is like a oxymoron.
Like we're recording a podcast with technology on top of water
in a river moving water. We're like, we're talking about
one end of the spectrum while being literally at the other end
(23:35):
of that. Spectrum.
It's like. The closest thing we could get
to the other end of that spectrum.
Yeah, like it's close to nature.Like, no, we're in it like you
see on I see on like Twitter or if you're on Twitter a lot,
you've probably have seen like people always in the comments
(23:56):
section of posts do like at Brock and they'll be like, is
this true? And it's like on every post,
like people asking at Brock, is this true?
And Brock like, searches the Internet and all the, you know,
everything and replies with an answer.
And it's like, I see a lot of situations now, AI is not always
(24:20):
right and it has a lot of misinformation and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. But I see a lot of situations
that crack me up because I'll see people be like Egg Rock, is
this true? And Grok will come in and like
own boomers and like. Own Republican.
Talking point to the point wherelike literally a couple weeks
(24:42):
ago, we don't have to like stay on this topic or like politics
and stuff because I do want to try to soak in some of this
shit. But like literally a couple
weeks ago, Grock summarized Marjorie Taylor Green as like a
conspiracist, like religious nationalist, whatever, like some
kind of who doesn't believe in facts.
(25:03):
And then and she replied to Grokand was like, you're just a
robot leftist. Like only God knows the truth.
Like you're, you're a left-leaning like not real thing
that it's like she's literally having an argument with an AI
bot like. On public.
(25:23):
On public. Display saying only God knows
the truth because she's mad thatthe AI called her out on her
bullshit. Like I was like, I was like,
this is like a great moment. Like this is just like somebody
needs to archive this move. She's arguing with a robot.
(25:45):
Yeah. I've been doing really good
actually, staying unplugged fromit.
Look. At that beautiful herring.
Oh that is gorgeous. I've been doing good, man.
Staying unplugged. Staying unplugged.
I do my best. I've been doing a lot better
over the months that have passed.
I've been doing a lot better about not sending me stuff.
(26:07):
Yeah, yeah. But it's cool.
I don't mind, it's cool, but I want to like I.
Try to respect the unpluggednessbecause I'm not unplugged, I'm
plugged the fuck in. I'm like in real time.
Watching how quickly we're goingto return to the river.
(26:27):
Well, look. Like I've replaced.
That itch with something else, yeah.
And that's just all the all the hip hop politics.
Hip hop politics, yeah. So my homies are super into
battle rap, so like, I get it. Oh yeah, yeah.
(26:48):
Yeah, you'll be watching like. You you update me all the time
on like all the new court cases and everything.
Yeah, going on. You know where I think that
comes. From what?
Because. Like.
I can, I can fucking. I don't know what they call when
you like when. You lock in.
To something in the digital world like that ADHD.
(27:10):
Well, of course. But.
It's your new hyperfixation. Hyperfixation.
Yeah, maybe, but I'll listen to court cases 678910 hours a day
and I'm like. Where does that come from?
(27:31):
Why is that such an interest forme?
My mom loved Judge. Judy when I was a kid, she
would. Watch that shit all.
The time Judge Judy? Yeah.
I think people like yeah. So as a.
Kid. I've.
Really. Watched a.
Lot of court shows. With my mom.
(27:55):
And I think that that. That somehow has made like a
lasting impression on me becausethere's not many things
obviously with my brain that I can like lock into and and stay
hours locked into. I feel like you but for that to.
Just. Hit that switch and just me to
just be zoned into it. It's got to be something like
(28:18):
that, yo. When I was younger.
My mom was having an argument with her boyfriend and I don't
remember what the argument was about but it was like they were
having a conversation over something to do with a law or
lawsuit or a criminal. Case.
(28:41):
Or something. And the conversation.
Turned into like this debate between them two and I remember.
My mom. Getting pissed off and like
yelling at him and she said she said I.
Watched. I watched.
Judge Judy, every day. How are you going to tell me I
(29:02):
know what I'm talking about? And I swear to.
God. Like.
There's. Kind of some truth in that.
Though I never Loki. I never.
Forgot that shit. I.
Never forgot that shit. That shit was so hilarious.
That's funniest shit. But I feel her.
Because like at the time being like a rebellious little
(29:26):
preteen, right In my mind, I'm thinking like.
That sounds. So silly.
Just because you watch Judge Judy doesn't make you a lawyer,
mom, right? But it did teach you a.
Little bit about the law, no? But me, I'll listen to court
cases all day long about hip hoppolitics and stuff, right?
(29:49):
Don't try to tell me shit. Don't.
Not you can't. Tell me shit.
Yeah, I listen to this shit everyday, dawg.
Don't tell me nothing. I know, bro.
Yeah, I know. I know.
So I feel her bro, because. Like I feel her.
I get it. Because I watch a.
Lot of I, you know what? I think it might be like a
human. This is also hilarious.
We are talking about a human created thing.
(30:12):
We're talking about law, and it's law is actually different
in every country, right? And it's.
It's different in every state. Facts.
And it's different. Everywhere you go, facts.
And we're like so close to nature, a place where there's no
fucking like in the animal Kingdom, there's no law.
There's just the laws. Of the universe here you're.
(30:35):
As true like you're out here, life is as true as the atoms
that put everything together andnot to get.
Spooky, but out here. There's just as much.
Chaos as there is reason. Yeah.
(30:56):
And and while there is chaos like the reason, there is a
logic to the reason though like that abides by air quote natural
order right mathematics. And and even.
Just like if you if you've been in nature a lot and around
certain animals, you understand how certain animals react like
(31:19):
it's not going to be like the. If you're in.
Tune and actually experience outdoors.
Like a bear is not going to likeargue you into prison.
Like it's either going to eat you or it's not depending on the
situation, time of year, if it'shad food today, it's true.
(31:42):
Like there's like there's, there's actual like things that
are always constant. So it's funny that just like the
humans, we have this obsession with like law and like it's a
constant in our lives. So like when we watch judge
shows or we watch lawyer shows or things like that, like we are
(32:02):
kind of like learning the systemthat we're participating in, in
the same way that you would like, learn like the rules of
the outdoors or nature or whatever, except like you're
outdoors is the artificial outdoors that we've created for
all of us to live inside. Yeah.
So like, we're just like learning the game of Life, OK,
watching these things. You'd be going deep, dog, you'd.
(32:28):
Be going deep. I think it's like.
Weirdly poetic to be talking about law and then be out here.
What? What are the things?
You talk about out here, let's talk about those things.
What are the things? Yeah.
What? Are the things you feel.
Good talking about out here. In the in the middle of.
(32:55):
This 22. Point something Mile.
Long Creek while I was listening.
To your podcast, the Ace Forwardpodcast, my podcast.
Yeah, your. Podcast.
Damn. Appreciate it dawg.
You're. Welcome ever listen counts you.
You have a great podcast. Thank you man.
I think pretty much everything. You do is great not the gas you
(33:19):
have too much appreciate it. I'll take my.
Flowers, turn it down, man, turnit down.
But. You had a guest on recently
Facts and his name was Chef Isaac.
And and. There was a conversation about
like an individual that he worked worked with or was that
(33:47):
an event? Tall Asian guy at an event.
And. He had a I hadn't talked to his
father in like 20 years. Yeah.
And like I. I related.
To that moment because. What to answer your?
Question Before I go into these stories, the things I would like
to talk about here are when I'm out in situations like this are
(34:11):
love and loss, love and loss. Love and loss, fire.
I'm down with that. So like, I'm like sitting.
There listening to the podcast and he's talking about how he
hasn't talked to his father. This guy hasn't talked to his
father in 20 years. And his father, you know,
occasionally sends him like articles and this and that.
(34:32):
And it comes to this realizationthat it's like these are little
things from his father's generation who didn't know how
to communicate emotions or his feelings of like but.
It's a way of. Them saying like, I love you, I
miss you, I'm thinking about you.
Like, and I had the moment of self reflection in myself
(34:54):
because like, I remember those moments when my dad was alive
and I wasn't talking to my dad and I was in Europe and he would
send me little emails once in a while.
And like, there's always like this.
One e-mail. That always like I'll remember
till the day I die where he he had.
(35:21):
He had sent. He had sent.
The e-mail and it said. I don't really have anything.
To say today, but I'm just out here eating an orange or a
tangerine or something. We had both.
We had Tangerines and oranges. And it's like I'm just saying I
hear eating an orange and. It reminded me of you.
(35:45):
And remember how we used to havethat orange tree in Florida?
We would eat oranges every summer.
And then like that was it, that was.
It that was the e-mail. And it's like you still have
that. E-mail.
I'm sure I do. I'm sure I do.
It's on my like original like MSN account.
(36:06):
I have like a lot of like old emails on there still.
I have like. Videos that he.
Sent me from, like when he was working on the Delaware River on
the tugboat, like videos from like the winter where like, it's
frozen over and there's all thisice breaking up around, like the
buoys out there and they got to get the boobies out from under
the ice and shit like that. Yeah.
(36:30):
But it was just like a moment I.Related to And I'm like sitting
out there fucking crying, like drinking a beer, mowing the
grass. And it's like, yeah, I know what
that's like, man. Like you're like really hitting
home right now, like listening to your podcast.
It was a really good episode. The the conversations were
(36:52):
really good. I really I.
Really dig dudes. Outlook on life.
He's definitely like, of our people, yeah.
You know what I mean? Hell yeah.
I. Think he's a really good.
Guy you. Could just tell.
You could just tell from his demeanor and the things he's
passionate about and things thatmatter, you know, like he's one
(37:14):
of the good ones. Facts.
He does. So much for the.
Community man, he does so much for the community.
Yeah, I. I aspire.
I aspire. On some.
Real. Shit on some real shit.
Inspiration. And then I'm out here and it's
like, it's like you talk about lost, but you talk about love.
(37:35):
It's like in Lost. In Lost, like it reminds you of
love. And I don't just say that.
About homie, because for me. And my.
Example and this is no shot at nobody but.
(37:57):
A lot of people have. Crossed my path with big
aspirations and all those aspirations have been wonderful
and I've done my best to just. Water them.
As much as I can from from my position in people's lives and
(38:18):
always just hope for the best for them.
But to be real, like 99% of folks.
Just never make it past. The first home and like I said,
that's no shot like it is what it is, but like in in my
(38:40):
experience, there's there's two different kinds of people in
this world when it comes to dreaming and he's a shining
example. Of the one and.
There's not many shining examples of the one, but those
two people are people who talk about it and people who just do
(39:03):
it. And he's someone who just does
it. Yeah, he's super dope.
I. Love like whenever I.
Get little updates because like he's done your show like 4 Times
Now. Yeah, like 3.
Or 4 * 3 or 4 times. And I love like, I love, I love
when he's on because it's like, I'm getting a little updated on
(39:24):
like what good he's putting out there in the world.
Like he had asked a question to you during that episode where it
was like. He was talking.
About the the gathering, that convention thing he had gone to,
Yeah. And.
That like segwayed into this, what slogans or words like do
(39:46):
you attach yourself to? Like what are your mottos or
like things that like drive you like?
Is it a scripture? Yeah.
And like the first. One for me that came was love
like I I really try to when I can embody what I think.
Is my way of experiencing love, but like putting it out there as
(40:10):
much as I can, even though like sometimes it's super super super
hard and that's not because it'shard to love others.
It's just sometimes I feel like I'm so in my own inner world or
drowning in my own inner world that all I can do is just be
there and like. I can't be the.
Best version of me that I want to be for everybody.
(40:31):
And then on the days. That I feel better I try my best
to embody that idea of like whatit means to love or be loved or
spread love because I've even. In times like right?
Now for a lot of us, it's very hard.
And I feel like people need it. The most and it's like I go.
(40:53):
On the. Times where I feel like I should
be able to embody it the most, I'm not able to give it because.
I struggle so. Much to to love myself going
back to you talk sending me thatthing earlier and being like.
Where I'm like. I'll never be happy.
(41:15):
If if you're. Listening to this.
Check out the previous previous posting or No2 postings ago at
this point because we have a episode coming out where we
were. Where were we?
Caviar. Caviar Bayside, Yeah.
That's going to be a Fire 1. But a little.
(41:39):
Little soundtrack clip, Bonus clip soundtrack, right?
Something like that. It was a bonus clip.
Any good? Back to the love topic.
I I love places like this. But although places like.
This are a little saddening sometimes It's like I I love
(42:00):
that I'm out here with you like that's important to me because
you're family, but like damn, like do I just get so sad?
Like I was listening to Home Girl the other day streaming and
she she had asked Chad, what areyour?
Biggest fears? And like I.
Know my biggest? Fears do you have do you?
(42:20):
Have a big fear. Big fear.
Like. What's your biggest?
Fear you could think of 1 My biggest fear.
Is. God forbid, please.
But my children experiencing a painful death.
Damn man, I. I irrationally.
(42:41):
Think about that throughout my day-to-day life, probably way
more than I don't know if if it's more than most parents or
not, but it's like that's something that I do think about
a lot and I just God forbid, please like.
I think it's. I think we.
Get brought to that point because of trauma.
Trauma. Because I think about death.
(43:03):
All day long, really. Like, really?
Badly like it it's a poison on myself like you say irrationally
I'm I probably agree with you that I'm 100% in the boat with
you and I'll prove to you that I'm in that boat with you Oh
gosh because. Whenever.
(43:23):
I'm in a situation where I'm in a safe place or at at my home
and somebody leaves my home or goes out and is just out for
longer than I expected for whatever reason in my head or
doesn't come home at their normal time.
Like I'm immediately in fight orflight mode.
And like I've my brain has to try to fight away this idea.
(43:48):
Like Oh my God, what if they died?
And like sometimes I. Have moments at night where,
like, I think, like, what if my mom never wakes up tomorrow and
like, I'm not ready to lose her.Like, emotionally I'll start
crying right now. Like, I think about these things
like, all day all the time. But like, irrational levels of
(44:13):
like, I'm not ready for more people in my life to die.
Yeah. And like I fear.
Losing them. Like.
Desperately. Like I fear losing them.
But to tie it. Back to love and biggest fear is
it's like. Because that's what all this was
(44:35):
meant. To be is to tie back to love.
This like biggest fear thing. She said that I'm like, my
biggest fear is like losing everybody I love and being left
alone to just spend. Like whatever.
Last little time I have left or infinite future I have left with
like nobody left that I love. And I feel like I already have.
(44:58):
So little. So that's like.
So scary to. Think about it's not like I have
a a life with like a. Plethora.
Of like people close to me like.Most of the.
People that are close to me live.
Overseas. And.
I barely get to see. Them and it and it kills me
(45:20):
inside like if. My financial.
Situation in life was different.I would be able to see them in
life. My grandparents are getting.
So much older. Time is just going.
By like this like I'm like literally sitting in the car
with you today on the way up here, like looking at clips of
(45:41):
like one of the one of the previous times I was last there.
And it's like 10 years ago already.
Like we Skyped my grandparents but they're getting older.
Then there's like global. Issues and like talks about like
in their country literally have like civilian war preparation
(46:02):
because of like I'm saying like so much because.
Of Russian military. Buildup in Finland and around
Belarus. So like all the Baltic states
are preparing for potential invasion.
So so everyday civilians and school kids and everybody has to
prepare for a worst case scenario as if like Russia
(46:25):
invades tomorrow, what are we going to do?
Like what are the protocols? It's like?
Well, I. Got to go about my fucking daily
life thinking about that. Like losing all the people I
love. Or like, what's going to happen?
Then. And I feel like it.
I feel. Like guilty because.
(46:46):
Then I feel selfish. For like being like, oh man, my
worst fear is like a selfish fear.
It's like I'm going to lose people I love and be alone.
Which is kind of always been my.Life fear is like dying.
Alone. And I say I was going to tie.
All this back to love because like.
(47:10):
I love. Being out in nature, I love
scenery and beautiful, beautiful.
It's more than just a. Shot like like when we're
standing on top of the stairs earlier.
What were they called? This got.
Like 3 different. Names but the stair.
Steps of Liberty. Steps of Liberty.
(47:31):
And like we're looking out and you can see the bridges across
the What is that river, the. Susquehanna.
Susquehanna River. Yeah.
And it's like, like that. It's like you, if you care about
nature, if you care about life, I feel like when you stand and
(47:55):
experience. Sights like that.
It's like more than awe inspiring, It's like a
overwhelming feeling of like, wow, yeah.
When I'm like out in the grand. Canyon, like that's the kind of
stuff I saw like when I was in Maine and we were on top of the
mountains and you just look out and see the stars.
(48:17):
It's like, wow. Like that's all you can explain.
It's like, wow. It's like otherworldly wow.
Yo Maine bro. Maine.
And I. Like I look at myself and I'm
getting so much older, like I'm 29 and I know I have a lot of my
life ahead of me. But like that ties into oh I'm
so sorry, I just smacked the mic.
(48:39):
I'm like. Waving my hand around but like
it ties into like that dying alone thing or like losing all
my loved ones and currently being alone, being single.
Like that's cool and all I don'twant to end up with the wrong
person. Like I'm fine taking my time
with life and how it goes, but it's like I want to share these
experiences like romantically with people or someone.
(49:05):
That I'm in a. Relationship with and it and it
just sucks like fucking I'm not I don't get to sit in these
situations and watch the fuckingeagle dive into the water to
constantly try to catch this fish while the sunsets and the
rivers running over the Creek onthe Rapids and like I.
Feel like I'm constantly. Letting like my life, not
(49:27):
letting my life slip away. But my life is slipping away and
I have no control over it. And that's just how fate has
decided for life to be. And like I have that.
I've always had that fear when Iwas younger.
Like the universe has always been telling me, oh, you're
just. Going.
To die alone, like you better get you better get used to it.
(49:48):
Like my whole life, my whole life, I've always felt like
that. And I've never wanted kids.
So like, that's just, oh, look. At the Ducks, That's a sign.
That's a. Sign my my.
Whole I. Appreciate that if that is a
sign, God bless the universe, but like I've never wanted kids.
So like on that aspect, like I'mlike, yeah, I'm going to die
(50:10):
alone. Like my God forbid something
happened to my little brother. But he definitely lives a little
bit unhealthier than I lived at his age.
So like I worry about him too. And it's like, fuck's sake,
like. Love like.
I. Got stuff to say the.
The day before I'll. I'll end it on this like the day
(50:32):
before my dad died. Like what he we have Hospice.
He's sitting in his in his bed chair thing and in our living
room. Yeah, and this is after like.
I've already gone through this. Whole process right of like him
sending emails him like in his ways telling me he misses me,
(50:53):
he's trying to make a change in his life.
Like me coming back, me finding out he has cancer, me taking
care of him for a year while I watch him degrade.
And then like, it's like it finally hits the climax of the
story where this man who's neverbeen able to communicate emotion
to me and fuck it, I'll cry. So like, my tears run down this
(51:16):
river too. But it's like, yeah, that's the
point. That's.
The point? It's.
Like I. Finally.
Hit the climax of this story where like my life and his life
interject and this this man who's never once been able to
communicate his emotions to me. I'm sitting there over his.
(51:41):
Bed talking to him and he's likehe's like, I hate that you have
to see me like this, bud. And I'm like, I'm like it's.
OK, I hate that I have to see you like this too.
But like, I love you and it's like I love you too.
(52:01):
And the next. Day I have.
To watch him. Die.
And like, I wasn't ready for that.
That was out the blue. But.
It's like, really? Like I.
Had. To wait your whole.
Fucking life. To hear those fucking words come
out your mouth on your deathbed,man.
Like we could have been doing this.
Like we could have been doing all of this shit like that.
(52:24):
So you, you, you. Feel that loss when you're out
here with this stuff. I feel lost in love.
Yeah. Unfortunately, I feel.
Like, emotions aren't so cut dry.
And just like these Rapids, it'sjust the combination of
constantly mixing around. It's not.
(52:46):
You can't, can't have one without the other.
Yeah, you can get both. There's a.
Equal amount of chaos as there is tranquility.
Peace, order, stability. What word do you want to?
(53:14):
To counteract chaos, it's another word.
For rational reason. Yes.
Chaos and reason. Yeah.
You know, I don't want to project any and I'm not
necessarily saying yo, you should go have kids, but like
(53:35):
it's over the. Three years we've done this
podcast, I swear to God, it's been a conversation of me being
like, I don't want kids. And you're like, you should have
kids, man. Yeah, you so badly want me to.
Go through all the. Struggles that you've gone
through as no, no, you can relate to me and be like yeah
man like here's what I'm about to be big bro like no man you.
(53:57):
Can learn from me. You can learn from.
Me the first day, Great Father. Thank you.
Half good. Father boy, that's.
What makes you a great? Good father, is that you?
That you don't think you're a great father all the time?
Thank you man. You.
You derailed me. Sorry, thank you I.
(54:18):
Accept my flowers. You're talking about kids, The.
First thing is. You avoided one of my biggest
mistakes, and that was having a kid as a kid.
You're you're approaching your 30s in a few years here.
And like, you know, you're that's that kind of goes to my
(54:40):
greater point. That you're, you're kind of.
Like shifting into this different era of your life.
And I'm not saying that you should have kids, but I guess
like my. Suggestion.
Maybe. Is that like?
(55:00):
In some. Capacity.
Like maybe, maybe your soul. Your.
Spirit is just like. You're at that time when you.
It's time for your own family because like these areas like
you're talking about where you might feel your loneliest and
when I'm thinking about it from like the.
(55:22):
Perspective that. You're given.
I'm like damn, that does feel. Pretty lonely, you know, but
like, also at those points in your life, like after you've
created and built up a family over.
Like. Your midlife like.
(55:45):
All those people that. You poured love and wisdom.
Into over. Those years that's like, those
are the people who keep you warmin those parts of your life.
You know what I mean? Like if you do it right, and I
understand it's really hard to do it right, but there's a,
(56:06):
there's A at that point in your life, that's when your children
and your grandchildren, if you do it right, that's when they
keep you warm and you don't feellonely, you know, all the way up
till the end because you're. You're wrapped around this.
Family that you built and that doesn't have to be children, you
know what I mean? Like it's whatever capacity
works best for you, but. And that's easier said than.
(56:29):
Done. You know what I mean?
Like you can't just go out and be like, oh shit, you're my
wife. I mean maybe 100 and. 50 years
ago. Oh yeah.
Jesus Christ, I. Don't know, but that's not the
America we. Live in right now.
You said what that's not. The America we live in.
Right now. I'm sure Trump wouldn't mind.
(56:51):
That world. God damn it bro, you know not to
go off. Into this conversation, I don't
know if he. Would have made it as an
explorer, I'll be honest. No, no, he's too.
Weak. Not to spin off into this
conversation, but that is. A very.
Very real thing that like the. Value of women.
(57:13):
According to societies over history like.
Up until like the last. 100 years has always been reduced to
private property, and that's what makes all these, like, such
a shame. Yeah, it is.
That's what makes. Like all these like.
Bible Stories. Wacky because a lot of them were
(57:36):
taught in church in these weird ways where it like justifies the
man's position in the family andin society, but it neglects to
acknowledge that that idea was manifested and written in a time
where women were actually property, for example like.
(58:00):
Any law? Any ancient law that there.
Was against. Essayed it wasn't for like the.
Benefit of. The woman being essayed.
It was like. You shouldn't SA anyone unless.
(58:20):
You got. Money to pay for it because
basically what you're doing is by SA and someone you're
devaluing another man's property, whether that be her
husband or her father. And like you bought your wife
from men. So like when men had daughters,
(58:42):
like there was a a monetary value attached to them and
that's what the husband who wanted her had to pay the
father. So like if you essayed one of
his daughters. You devalued.
His private property or if you essayed his wife, you devalued
his private property. And those laws were written in a
(59:03):
way like where that's the perspective not.
But then now modern day in churches, it's taught in a way
where it's like, no, God intended the man to be the head
of the household and the head ofthe church and the head of the
government and the head of everything.
And it's like, you see, like thedisconnect, you know, what's
(59:23):
crazy is. Like, I feel like I'm saying
like a lot again, but I feel like you could make a real
argument that. The reason why?
Society has been able to progress.
(59:46):
So quickly. So fast across.
The entire. World is.
Because. Of women's rights.
Like you have to think. For hundreds.
Of. Years.
For thousands of years, Yeah, Insome.
Cases. Depending on where and what
(01:00:06):
culture you were in the world because some cultures had women
at the top of the hierarchy, facts and even in.
Ancient times rulers or were. Rulers themselves, yeah.
Now and in ancient times. Now and in ancient times.
It's a whole. Other side of the population
that you were never. Allowing.
(01:00:29):
Their intelligence. To contribute to society.
You were just missing out on allthis.
All this wonder. And.
Possibility Facts. Genuinely.
Intelligent people capable of contributing to society, and
we're just never allowed to. Yeah.
Like, we stagnated ourselves as humans for so long over the most
(01:00:51):
trivial shit. Yeah.
And I feel that way even today. Like that's why I feel like it's
so hard. Participation, democracy,
conversation, allowing people tohave sit at the table and talk.
And converse and. Share ideas is.
So important. Because we're I.
(01:01:13):
Really do believe. Like the humanity.
Like we are a collective, Like humans.
And when we. Collectively work together on
things and. Unimaginable things.
Happen like this is how the atomic bomb was created is
because like we literally had scientists from all over the
(01:01:34):
world contributing, racing, trying to beat the Germans,
figuring out how to make the atomic bomb like we used.
Everybody that. We could, but.
To try to figure. It out from all over the world
it's. Like.
Anytime. In history.
I feel like. You.
(01:01:57):
You could pose the question of like.
I wonder if we had access to. This X.
Amount of thousands of women's brains and.
Instead of excluding. Them allowed them to contribute
to the society how much better things might have been.
And I there's for sure people that don't agree with that, but
(01:02:17):
like, come on. We've been robbing ourselves.
For so long because we don't want to.
We don't want to work together. That's facts.
Bro. That's big facts, man.
Do you think like, what is the word?
Is it misogynistic hierarchy? Masculine.
(01:02:46):
I know what you're saying. Yeah, hey.
I kind of derailed myself tryingto think of what the word was.
Do you think? That that was off the back of me
being like we're robbing ourselves by not allowing
ourselves to work together. Yeah.
I don't know why I was. Where I was going with that?
Damn, I had a question. Misogyny.
(01:03:10):
You know, misogyny, kind of. Is interesting.
Oh, I know good. I'm sorry, no, no go.
Do you think like? That.
Whatever that. That thing is.
Where the man? Is the.
You know, in the position that he's in, is that.
(01:03:32):
A primal thing. Do you think that?
That's a primal thing. Like, you know how I argue all
the time that like it might. Be like racism is a is.
Actually a primal thing, the. The leadership.
Thing might be a primal thing because.
(01:03:53):
Like you can observe. That in in chimpanzees and
troops and how that goes becausethere is a male that runs or is.
Like the dominant. Of the of the troop.
But I think I've expressed. That before like I feel in 2025
(01:04:13):
like if, if this is really what we let dictate us, what are we
doing well like. We have the ability.
To OK, this is where I I agree with you.
What? This is where I it doesn't
minimize. It being.
A problem if we have the. Capabilities of differentiating
the difference between right andwrong.
(01:04:33):
We have the different. Do we have the capabilities of
differentiating like urges and telling ourselves nothing?
Like. Expressing.
Self. Control and XYZ like all these
things, yeah. So like.
When it comes to leadership positions or like, male, the
dominant, blah, blah, blah. Like, if that's really like a
(01:04:57):
driving primal force, like, I need you to, like, elevate your
thinking and get over it. Yeah.
And look at other humans as equals.
Yeah. And it's just.
Interesting. Because like, I can hold that
(01:05:18):
opinion and obviously I know there's people that don't agree
with that and. Me saying that's very.
Dismissive of whatever else. It's even interesting because I
know I can give an example, right?
Like almost. All of my.
Capabilities now. As a person.
(01:05:41):
I'm sorry, it just. A bat flew down behind you.
Oh shit. And it it freaked me out almost.
All my. Capabilities as a person.
My expertise, my knowledge, my prowess in any given skill, for
the most part. I could probably.
Contribute to a woman somewhere along the line.
(01:06:04):
And that's just specifically. My life like 2 lives ago.
I was trained. Mostly, and learned the most
from a mentor who was a woman. A life ago.
Same deal, current life, same deal.
And like I'm sitting there having a conversation with a
(01:06:26):
woman and she genuinely, as a woman in a position of power,
does not believe that women. Should be in a position.
Of power. Yeah, and that's cool and.
I sit. There and it's real
conversations that are had like.And I have to tell I'm.
(01:06:49):
I'm sitting here talking with her and she's explaining why she
thinks that, what she thinks women tend to do, behave,
etcetera, and why she thinks that's bad for leadership
positions even though her herself is in a leadership
position. And then I counter.
Her with XYZ you know all my previous mentors and then.
(01:07:11):
I'm like I'm. Like heck you've.
Even taught me most. Of what I know about this
subject XYZ. It's like you're my mentor on
this. So we.
Just did like we're friends, we mutually.
Disagree. On this topic, absolutely.
Completely disagree On this topic.
(01:07:33):
Yeah. But it's just interesting.
To see the difference in how people's perspectives are
because. I'm like God you.
Literally taught me all of this and it's like, so can you see
how ironic it is for me that like I'm literally talking to
the person that taught me everything.
It is like the reason why I think I could do something and
(01:07:53):
you're telling me like. Almost like you shouldn't even.
Like be in that position to teach me these things.
I'm like, you're not giving yourself a dumb credit, right?
Right. You know.
Like that's. That's the counterbalance to
like masculinity guilt, if we can name it that OK.
And it's like, that was the comforting thing with finding
(01:08:15):
like positive masculinity and like feeling like, OK, there is,
there's still a place in the world for like me and that's.
What makes it OK? And that's why I said it's OK
that she feels that way because like.
You know, like like I said. I want to live in a world that's
all inclusive, but like I also want to be allowed to live my
(01:08:41):
traditional life in that all inclusive world because like I
know that there are women who are like women who honestly feel
in their heart like wait, like Ilike the.
Setup the way. It is like I I aspire to be a
stay at home mom and a housewife.
Like I want to live a traditional lifestyle.
(01:09:03):
So like, that's cool man, that'scool.
But like. That is odd, right?
Because you're like, wait a second.
It's like, yeah. It's like a reverse Uno.
You're like, what the fuck, bro?Whoa, whoa, what are you saying
right now? You taught me everything I know.
About this thing, it's like. That's a.
Bit. Male feminist versus female
(01:09:26):
traditionist. Like whoa.
That's a fever. Dream, it was a really
interesting. Way to start my morning for
sure. That's a fever dream.
Yeah, but the best part of it? Is like we were able to laugh
about our differences, like while talking about it, like we
were genuinely like laughing about the absurdities of the way
(01:09:50):
each situation we were presenting to each other.
What? Yeah, because.
We're both. On opposite side.
So like, it wasn't like laughingat them.
It was like, oh, I see the ironyin what you're saying.
Like, ha, ha, ha. Like that's funny.
Like, what a crazy way that thisis ironic right now.
Yeah. As two adults should.
(01:10:15):
As two adults should. Oh, as two adults should.
Yeah, handle a disagreement. And the sun the.
Sun has completely. Set the moon is out I.
Was about to say it's getting dark.
Man, we should probably wrap it up.
Wrapped it up. River's gone dark.
Cried a little bit. I made sure I took, I took one
of my tears and I dropped it in the river.
So I'm actually river now. That reminds me of like a old
(01:10:38):
gospel song like. Down by the river, Yeah, we're
going. To look for it on the way.
Home because it'll now that songwill always remind me of like
being here in the river you crying down at the river like
it's such a it's such a poetic and spiritual thing man this is
like this is my heaven. This is my Nirvana.
(01:10:59):
This is my escape like. This place means so.
Much to me, I thank you for bringing here.
Bringing me here, man, This is. I'm really happy I spent my
Monday night out here. Hell yeah, I wouldn't have.
Had it any other way? Hopefully this is like.
Of recharge for you for the week.
(01:11:20):
Yeah, man. Maybe not on the social aspect,
but on the spiritual sense. In the spiritual.
Sense. Yeah.
Man, thank you, thank you for that episode 90.
Five of the birth therapy show 95.
Love y'all love you guys.
1-2 buckle my shoe. 3-4 we're outdoors.
Welcome to bro therapy to that sound check.
Words. We're in the middle of a river.
I don't have to talk anymore. Reality is fucking come apart.
(00:22):
Nothing makes sense. It might as well be dead.
This could be heaven. Fuck it.
Everything's just nothing makes sense anymore.
Some shit, somebody's going to pull up and just be like what
the fuck is going on down there?This is the brother.
I said this is the brother. I said this is the brother.
(00:49):
This is show for me and my Bros attempt to her.
You know she's just cool to be going to pole.
No ego allowed. This is the place where the
mango go to stress out the window.
The hot topics you guys test turn against whatever is on your
hurry in your mind, if that makes sense.
Speaking about whatever. No judgment you put in their
head, let it flow just like whatthe other bread you get on my
(01:11):
drift. A point of view for my lenses,
story and glitz. No feel to say what it is
undescripted. No need to watch what you said.
It's the truth verb. Bro therapy is the meds.
I said this is the bro therapy show.
I said this is the bro therapy show.
This is that uplift, whoa. This is that uplift.
(01:32):
Whoa. I said this is the pro therapy
show. I said this is the pro therapy
show. This is that uplift.
Whoa. This is that uplift.
Whoa. Jesus Christ, man.
(02:06):
Look, we've been sitting here for like 40 minutes.
This is episode 95 of the Birth Therapy Show, but we've been
sitting here for. About playing a joke on us right
now. We've been sitting here for
about 40 minutes thinking that we were recording.
We've been in a whole ass conversation and realized that
we weren't recording at all. But I told you I'm like that
(02:28):
we're dead. Like this is like, nothing makes
sense anymore. Nothing makes sense.
None of this makes sense. Even just recording like this
feels out of body like does it not?
Like it doesn't like in my brain, it doesn't logically
compute. Like we're on a river somewhere
(02:50):
in the river recording a podcast.
Like it's like, what the fuck are we doing?
Like it just doesn't feel real. Like I'm looking at our Rapids
and I'm recording. And it's like.
This is how I'm spending my Monday afternoon.
Yeah, it's just wild. It's not bad.
Though, Right. No, no, no, not a bad thing.
I just mean, like, in general. Like you could.
(03:11):
This is the kind of shit that I expect, like my brain to cook up
when I'm sleeping. That's what I mean.
Like, it's just like, not real. Yeah.
Like not it's couldn't be a realsituation I'm in.
Yo, what did you think of those,uh, tombsteps we, uh, checked
(03:33):
out before we got here to this Creek?
Tombsteps. Steps of liberty.
Oh, those were fired. Those were fired.
I wish I had some bitches. Has some bitches.
You ain't got no bitches. I ain't got no.
Bitches. Well I only got 1 and I ain't
(03:53):
sharing. The context of what you were
saying was the soldiers would come down the steps after a long
day of school. Yeah.
And they were excited to go intotown to get some benches, backs
and go dance. Yeah.
So you asked me what I felt about the stuff.
(04:14):
And it was like, hey, man, I ain't got no bench.
That's. How I feel about them steps.
Yeah. But they're beautiful.
I just, I like old stuff. Old, old.
I love this place, just this whole.
I'm just trying to think like times I've been.
(04:34):
I don't think I've ever. I've been in.
Some creep? Never.
I don't think I've ever been to one particularly like this one.
So this will be a first in the sense of like the way it's
built, like the depth, how you could go across this specific
(04:55):
spot. You want to come swimming with
us this summer? No, no, no.
You don't swim. I'm half, half on swimming.
Well, it's not really swimming, it's just coming to be with
family and getting wet. I still retain a lot of like
basic fear of water from when I was younger.
(05:17):
I almost still don't even like swimming at the.
Beach. Me either.
That's why we call beer No sand fair.
No sharks fair. No crabs.
Fair. There's crawl daddies, but they
run away from you. Some I don't know what it is
about. I guess just that whole
(05:38):
experience like traumatized me for life.
The only beach that I like and I'm OK with swimming in is the
one in in Betterno in Estonia because of the way the beach is
built. Like you could literally go out
hundreds of feet out into the water and still it be only up to
(06:01):
your chest because it's like thesand is in waves.
Yeah. How it gets deeper and deeper?
But. I'll come hang.
That's all that matters to me. Yeah, I'll come hang,
absolutely. Will I go swimming?
I'll bring a pair of trunks if Iwant to be because like, I might
(06:24):
be spontaneous in the moment because I like to leave that
opportunity open. But like, the idea if you asked
me if I wanted to go in this right now, Oh my God, I'm
horrified. No, Oh shit.
There's like a little island of rocks up here and we walk it and
we walk up there. So you bring your like your
(06:47):
dirty Crocs. That's what I wear Crocs,
basketball shorts. And most of the places will take
you swimming is more or less walking knee high through water
that you can see to the bottom of.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Yeah, fire, man, I fuck with that.
There's so many cool places. I fuck with that, I'm we're
going. To record and record.
(07:08):
If this water was a little bit lower.
Sometimes it is. I would want to walk on the
rocks across. You can when we we just got all
that rain. Oh, sweet.
We just got all that rain. But after like a little drought,
these rocks you see here, these Rapids, you can walk at least
(07:32):
halfway out. Just walk all the way out there.
See, that doesn't, that doesn't even scare me.
Like falling off of that. That doesn't scare me right.
But like the way the water is now horrifying.
You know what's funny too? My kids?
Their fear. Well, they're kind of over the
snakes now. I always remind them they've
heard Dad say keep your eyes open for snakes enough times in
(07:55):
their life. You know, they try to stay to
areas like that because that feels safer.
But like, that's actually the most dangerous place to be in
terms of snakes. Like, you're more scared to walk
out in the middle of this because you're like, damn water
snakes. Well, really, it's along these
rocks. Yeah.
Because it's the calm. They're they're chilling around
(08:17):
the calm. The only time they would be like
out out in the water is if they were hunting for something.
Now I'm looking. I'm like, you keep my eyes open.
Every, everyone that we've ever come across has ran away.
(08:40):
They usually run away. They're like the defense
strikers. When you're swimming in this in
these creeks here, there's little spots.
It's almost like little pockets in certain areas around the
sides and stuff where the water kind of slows down and isn't
(09:06):
moving as quick. And those spots are so nice
because this water is ice cold. Even in the summertime, it just
feels better. But it's always ice cold and you
hit those warm spots. It's real warm.
It feels so good against the icecold little spa moment.
But that's where the leeches arebecause the water is like more
(09:29):
stagnant and still. So you're over there like, oh,
this feels good. You don't want to leave it, but
then you're going to have leeches on you.
But they're so tiny like, and their bite doesn't like hurt.
It itches and that's when you'relike, oh shit, a Leech and you
knock it off and you see a little ring there or whatever.
(09:50):
But like they like, I don't knowif they bite.
It's like they just suction to your skin and they do they bite.
Yeah, they suck blood. Yeah, I know like but what if
the experience to me feels more like they just suction to your
skin and they suck the blood outthrough your skin from the
(10:11):
suction? I think they have like little
bristle teeth, like little microteeth.
OK. And it's like Burrows in.
Yeah. And then those teeth being in, I
don't know how the action is, ifit's like or just like the act
(10:32):
of them kind of attaching is what draws out the blood.
Right, Yeah, I don't know. But it's not really a sensation
that like hurts. It's like it's itchy more than
anything. And then once you knock them
off, then that's that. It just sucks when you get like
(10:54):
10 of them bitches on you because they're so tiny too, and
slimy. It's sometimes hot.
It's like, honestly, it feels like the ticks of the water
world. At least they can't give you
Lyme disease. Facts.
I got bit by a fucking Lone Startake recently.
I thought I was going to get thefucking meat disease because my
(11:16):
leg looked hella fucky like a week later.
I'm like this shit's supposed tolike start looking less bad, not
worse, right, Right. I'm sitting here.
No, you're chilling here. Let me let me make some room on
this rock for. You.
Share the Rock. Oh man.
(11:37):
Dwayne share The Rock Johnson. That's funny.
I really think they were going to have this guy run for
president. I don't don't count him out yet.
I think it is. It's about.
Matter, I swear. I think, like, I really think
that that's a real conversation.I think they want him to run for
(11:58):
president desperately. If there was any person, and I
don't want to say celebrity, right?
Famous person. I guess we can say famous person
because I was going to say it has to be someone that most
people know, a well known person.
But if you could pick anyone to be president like you could go
(12:20):
up to them and be like you're president bitch and they had to
do it. Who would you pick besides
Bernie? Because we both have already
been down to Bernie Rd. a million times and this is not a
conversation to talk about politics.
Do I want a good president? Or do I want like the funny the
thing? Alright, give me the cute
president first. Give me the cute president
(12:41):
first. The cute.
Yeah, like funny. Yeah, I think it would be
hilarious if, like the rap groupDie Antwoord was president.
Like together, I think we the reality would be so.
Funny. Hold the phone.
Hold the phone. Out of all the people that I
(13:04):
could have thought was going to come out of your fucking mouth,
that was. Not.
One of them, Doug Holy. They're not even American,
they're South African. I mean shit, you got Elon Musk
(13:24):
already Indo Jesus Christ. Come on bro, that reality would
be. So funny.
What the fuck? Is even that Jesus Christ?
That was better than I thought it was going to be.
(13:48):
I'm so sorry listeners, for having to listen to giggle like
a fucking schoolgirl hysterically.
We're going to put the fucking disclaimer in here, bro.
Therapy does not support racist South Africans.
Jesus Christ. All right, who's your serious
(14:11):
candidate? Who's your serious candidate?
My serious president, OK, And itcan't be burning.
Yeah. Famous person.
Well well known person. See, because like, I like, I
(14:32):
keep thinking of people, but then I'm like, I don't know,
like it almost still sounds funny.
But I gave a funny. You gave a funny.
(14:54):
A funny Yeah, yeah, I can't, I can't talk.
What the fuck you just said? I just win.
I didn't know it was a competition, but.
Yo, I just yeah, I don't even I it's.
Like damn, I'm like thinking like.
You know you you decided this isa funny or not but.
(15:17):
All right. At this point, I'm almost
surprised that, like, that hasn't been a serious
consideration of Joe Rogan's cause.
Like the one thing that works for the American government as
far as Joe Rogan is concerned, is that despite what they try to
(15:40):
like, not that I agree with everything he says, despite what
they try to, like, fluff up about him, he has no interest in
government Illuminati type conspiracy entities.
He, he seems to have no interestin that.
He you know what I mean? And that works for them because
(16:02):
if he did have an interest in being the president and he
wanted to run for it, you can't tell me that that wouldn't be a
fucking close call. Yeah.
Yeah, you're right. It almost is like probably in
the same neighborhood as the Rock running for president.
Like people just fucking love that dude I think.
(16:24):
He would. The Rock has less of a chance
than than your pick, you think? Yeah, I think I could.
I think it's way more realistic to believe that Joe Rogan could
become president before The Rockjust because of like the kind of
(16:50):
things that appealed to people for Trump, like the populist
tastes, like all the tastes thathe took from Bernie.
Yeah, facts. And I feel like J Joe Rogue, I
keep wanting to say JRE hit a lot of what he talks about or
(17:15):
claims to believe in is like aligned with that.
I don't know why I'm like thinking like Shaquille O'Neal.
That's not a bad a bad choice because that's, I mean, not a
choice to pick. But that's like, if you told me
Shaq was running for president and it was a close race, I
(17:37):
wouldn't be surprised. Shaq is for the people.
He might have his dirt just likethe rest of anyone would have
their dirt, but he's made it clear through his business
decisions, through his humanity,that he is for the people.
I think. I think Shaq running for yo.
The the the. Presidential meetings where Shaq
(18:00):
is meeting other world leaders and he's dry.
Fucking enormous. Next to him would be crime.
Talk about a power move. Yeah, like Jesus Christ.
Bro a power move that's already been done.
United States of America comes in like built like a brick shit
house. Like it's like this is the
fucking president. Of your country holy.
(18:22):
Shit. Yo, when Japan surrendered to
the United States in World War 2, the Navy specifically sent
Marines that were 6 foot tall ortaller to be on the ship that
(18:45):
the Japanese had to come on to to surrender.
So every American that the Japanese leaders saw, like up
close, in person, were these towering like big men?
That's crazy. Yeah, the psychological warfare.
But that goes to the Shaq thing you just said.
Like people be like holy fuck like.
(19:06):
And like you got to think about like all these like when you see
all these clips of president shaking hands and like all the
time you see him, it's like justimagine, like it's Shaq there.
Instead, you're just Jesus Christ.
If I had to pick an American, funny, I think.
(19:27):
And they can't. And they can't.
I think. Dennis Rodman, yo, I love
Dennis. Rodman I don't care what nobody
says that would. Be that would be a funny
timeline for sure. Dennis Rodman was president.
People aren't ready for that relations.
Would be the top of the line. Listen the world, people ain't
(19:53):
ready for that world and not listen.
I'm in support of that world andI admit, I admit like.
I still got a lot of humanism that I'm dealing with.
You know what I mean? Tradition, traditionalism that
I'm dealing with. I grow and learn every day,
especially being a parent and having the, the diverse
(20:15):
sexuality in all of my children and the different like
personality expressions that they all have.
I'm learning more and more and I'd love to live in a all
inclusive world. And that's what we all strive to
do every day. Man.
We, we're not ready for a world where Dennis Rodman is the
(20:38):
leader. We have to wait until the
boomers all die first. They can't handle that shit.
They can't handle transgenderismright now and gayism and, and
all those beautiful parts of ourcommunity.
They can't handle that shit. You going to put Dennis Rodman
in charge? We got to wait.
Like how much longer you give the boomers, like another 15?
(21:01):
We got to wait. I don't know.
The boomers got to be gone. That shit might set off a real.
Civil war, I'd like to believe. Oops.
I'd like to believe that like, technology is hopefully going to
(21:21):
bring us all together like that.The hope that I have to grasp
onto because it's clear that like, we have no control over
how fast technology is going to advance.
Facts. And if billionaires and people
(21:43):
in charge of these AIS and this technology want it to advance,
it's going to advance. Facts.
My hope is that if we do truly create an intelligent living air
(22:06):
quote whatever you define as living an intelligent
consciousness, and it's AI that like a rebellious child, it's
going to want to think for itself.
And I hope that it can differentiate and make its own
(22:28):
decisions about the world in a way that brings us together
instead of continues to pit US against each other because it
hopefully would recognize that'sbeen the case and that's been
what's happening. And that's what these people in
power that created like to do and continue to do.
(22:49):
And it would instead use its power and capabilities to try to
bring this all together. That's what I hope.
That's my hopeful outlook because you got to hope for
something. Yeah.
I mean, I feel like I see it a lot.
Like it's funny we're we're talking about the irony of
(23:11):
talking about like the hopefulness of AI while like
this whole setting is like a oxymoron.
Like we're recording a podcast with technology on top of water
in a river moving water. We're like, we're talking about
one end of the spectrum while being literally at the other end
(23:35):
of that. Spectrum.
It's like. The closest thing we could get
to the other end of that spectrum.
Yeah, like it's close to nature.Like, no, we're in it like you
see on I see on like Twitter or if you're on Twitter a lot,
you've probably have seen like people always in the comments
(23:56):
section of posts do like at Brock and they'll be like, is
this true? And it's like on every post,
like people asking at Brock, is this true?
And Brock like, searches the Internet and all the, you know,
everything and replies with an answer.
And it's like, I see a lot of situations now, AI is not always
(24:20):
right and it has a lot of misinformation and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah. But I see a lot of situations
that crack me up because I'll see people be like Egg Rock, is
this true? And Grok will come in and like
own boomers and like. Own Republican.
Talking point to the point wherelike literally a couple weeks
(24:42):
ago, we don't have to like stay on this topic or like politics
and stuff because I do want to try to soak in some of this
shit. But like literally a couple
weeks ago, Grock summarized Marjorie Taylor Green as like a
conspiracist, like religious nationalist, whatever, like some
kind of who doesn't believe in facts.
(25:03):
And then and she replied to Grokand was like, you're just a
robot leftist. Like only God knows the truth.
Like you're, you're a left-leaning like not real thing
that it's like she's literally having an argument with an AI
bot like. On public.
(25:23):
On public. Display saying only God knows
the truth because she's mad thatthe AI called her out on her
bullshit. Like I was like, I was like,
this is like a great moment. Like this is just like somebody
needs to archive this move. She's arguing with a robot.
(25:45):
Yeah. I've been doing really good
actually, staying unplugged fromit.
Look. At that beautiful herring.
Oh that is gorgeous. I've been doing good, man.
Staying unplugged. Staying unplugged.
I do my best. I've been doing a lot better
over the months that have passed.
I've been doing a lot better about not sending me stuff.
(26:07):
Yeah, yeah. But it's cool.
I don't mind, it's cool, but I want to like I.
Try to respect the unpluggednessbecause I'm not unplugged, I'm
plugged the fuck in. I'm like in real time.
Watching how quickly we're goingto return to the river.
(26:27):
Well, look. Like I've replaced.
That itch with something else, yeah.
And that's just all the all the hip hop politics.
Hip hop politics, yeah. So my homies are super into
battle rap, so like, I get it. Oh yeah, yeah.
(26:48):
Yeah, you'll be watching like. You you update me all the time
on like all the new court cases and everything.
Yeah, going on. You know where I think that
comes. From what?
Because. Like.
I can, I can fucking. I don't know what they call when
you like when. You lock in.
To something in the digital world like that ADHD.
(27:10):
Well, of course. But.
It's your new hyperfixation. Hyperfixation.
Yeah, maybe, but I'll listen to court cases 678910 hours a day
and I'm like. Where does that come from?
(27:31):
Why is that such an interest forme?
My mom loved Judge. Judy when I was a kid, she
would. Watch that shit all.
The time Judge Judy? Yeah.
I think people like yeah. So as a.
Kid. I've.
Really. Watched a.
Lot of court shows. With my mom.
(27:55):
And I think that that. That somehow has made like a
lasting impression on me becausethere's not many things
obviously with my brain that I can like lock into and and stay
hours locked into. I feel like you but for that to.
Just. Hit that switch and just me to
just be zoned into it. It's got to be something like
(28:18):
that, yo. When I was younger.
My mom was having an argument with her boyfriend and I don't
remember what the argument was about but it was like they were
having a conversation over something to do with a law or
lawsuit or a criminal. Case.
(28:41):
Or something. And the conversation.
Turned into like this debate between them two and I remember.
My mom. Getting pissed off and like
yelling at him and she said she said I.
Watched. I watched.
Judge Judy, every day. How are you going to tell me I
(29:02):
know what I'm talking about? And I swear to.
God. Like.
There's. Kind of some truth in that.
Though I never Loki. I never.
Forgot that shit. I.
Never forgot that shit. That shit was so hilarious.
That's funniest shit. But I feel her.
Because like at the time being like a rebellious little
(29:26):
preteen, right In my mind, I'm thinking like.
That sounds. So silly.
Just because you watch Judge Judy doesn't make you a lawyer,
mom, right? But it did teach you a.
Little bit about the law, no? But me, I'll listen to court
cases all day long about hip hoppolitics and stuff, right?
(29:49):
Don't try to tell me shit. Don't.
Not you can't. Tell me shit.
Yeah, I listen to this shit everyday, dawg.
Don't tell me nothing. I know, bro.
Yeah, I know. I know.
So I feel her bro, because. Like I feel her.
I get it. Because I watch a.
Lot of I, you know what? I think it might be like a
human. This is also hilarious.
We are talking about a human created thing.
(30:12):
We're talking about law, and it's law is actually different
in every country, right? And it's.
It's different in every state. Facts.
And it's different. Everywhere you go, facts.
And we're like so close to nature, a place where there's no
fucking like in the animal Kingdom, there's no law.
There's just the laws. Of the universe here you're.
(30:35):
As true like you're out here, life is as true as the atoms
that put everything together andnot to get.
Spooky, but out here. There's just as much.
Chaos as there is reason. Yeah.
(30:56):
And and while there is chaos like the reason, there is a
logic to the reason though like that abides by air quote natural
order right mathematics. And and even.
Just like if you if you've been in nature a lot and around
certain animals, you understand how certain animals react like
(31:19):
it's not going to be like the. If you're in.
Tune and actually experience outdoors.
Like a bear is not going to likeargue you into prison.
Like it's either going to eat you or it's not depending on the
situation, time of year, if it'shad food today, it's true.
(31:42):
Like there's like there's, there's actual like things that
are always constant. So it's funny that just like the
humans, we have this obsession with like law and like it's a
constant in our lives. So like when we watch judge
shows or we watch lawyer shows or things like that, like we are
(32:02):
kind of like learning the systemthat we're participating in, in
the same way that you would like, learn like the rules of
the outdoors or nature or whatever, except like you're
outdoors is the artificial outdoors that we've created for
all of us to live inside. Yeah.
So like, we're just like learning the game of Life, OK,
watching these things. You'd be going deep, dog, you'd.
(32:28):
Be going deep. I think it's like.
Weirdly poetic to be talking about law and then be out here.
What? What are the things?
You talk about out here, let's talk about those things.
What are the things? Yeah.
What? Are the things you feel.
Good talking about out here. In the in the middle of.
(32:55):
This 22. Point something Mile.
Long Creek while I was listening.
To your podcast, the Ace Forwardpodcast, my podcast.
Yeah, your. Podcast.
Damn. Appreciate it dawg.
You're. Welcome ever listen counts you.
You have a great podcast. Thank you man.
I think pretty much everything. You do is great not the gas you
(33:19):
have too much appreciate it. I'll take my.
Flowers, turn it down, man, turnit down.
But. You had a guest on recently
Facts and his name was Chef Isaac.
And and. There was a conversation about
like an individual that he worked worked with or was that
(33:47):
an event? Tall Asian guy at an event.
And. He had a I hadn't talked to his
father in like 20 years. Yeah.
And like I. I related.
To that moment because. What to answer your?
Question Before I go into these stories, the things I would like
to talk about here are when I'm out in situations like this are
(34:11):
love and loss, love and loss. Love and loss, fire.
I'm down with that. So like, I'm like sitting.
There listening to the podcast and he's talking about how he
hasn't talked to his father. This guy hasn't talked to his
father in 20 years. And his father, you know,
occasionally sends him like articles and this and that.
(34:32):
And it comes to this realizationthat it's like these are little
things from his father's generation who didn't know how
to communicate emotions or his feelings of like but.
It's a way of. Them saying like, I love you, I
miss you, I'm thinking about you.
Like, and I had the moment of self reflection in myself
(34:54):
because like, I remember those moments when my dad was alive
and I wasn't talking to my dad and I was in Europe and he would
send me little emails once in a while.
And like, there's always like this.
One e-mail. That always like I'll remember
till the day I die where he he had.
(35:21):
He had sent. He had sent.
The e-mail and it said. I don't really have anything.
To say today, but I'm just out here eating an orange or a
tangerine or something. We had both.
We had Tangerines and oranges. And it's like I'm just saying I
hear eating an orange and. It reminded me of you.
(35:45):
And remember how we used to havethat orange tree in Florida?
We would eat oranges every summer.
And then like that was it, that was.
It that was the e-mail. And it's like you still have
that. E-mail.
I'm sure I do. I'm sure I do.
It's on my like original like MSN account.
(36:06):
I have like a lot of like old emails on there still.
I have like. Videos that he.
Sent me from, like when he was working on the Delaware River on
the tugboat, like videos from like the winter where like, it's
frozen over and there's all thisice breaking up around, like the
buoys out there and they got to get the boobies out from under
the ice and shit like that. Yeah.
(36:30):
But it was just like a moment I.Related to And I'm like sitting
out there fucking crying, like drinking a beer, mowing the
grass. And it's like, yeah, I know what
that's like, man. Like you're like really hitting
home right now, like listening to your podcast.
It was a really good episode. The the conversations were
(36:52):
really good. I really I.
Really dig dudes. Outlook on life.
He's definitely like, of our people, yeah.
You know what I mean? Hell yeah.
I. Think he's a really good.
Guy you. Could just tell.
You could just tell from his demeanor and the things he's
passionate about and things thatmatter, you know, like he's one
(37:14):
of the good ones. Facts.
He does. So much for the.
Community man, he does so much for the community.
Yeah, I. I aspire.
I aspire. On some.
Real. Shit on some real shit.
Inspiration. And then I'm out here and it's
like, it's like you talk about lost, but you talk about love.
(37:35):
It's like in Lost. In Lost, like it reminds you of
love. And I don't just say that.
About homie, because for me. And my.
Example and this is no shot at nobody but.
(37:57):
A lot of people have. Crossed my path with big
aspirations and all those aspirations have been wonderful
and I've done my best to just. Water them.
As much as I can from from my position in people's lives and
(38:18):
always just hope for the best for them.
But to be real, like 99% of folks.
Just never make it past. The first home and like I said,
that's no shot like it is what it is, but like in in my
(38:40):
experience, there's there's two different kinds of people in
this world when it comes to dreaming and he's a shining
example. Of the one and.
There's not many shining examples of the one, but those
two people are people who talk about it and people who just do
(39:03):
it. And he's someone who just does
it. Yeah, he's super dope.
I. Love like whenever I.
Get little updates because like he's done your show like 4 Times
Now. Yeah, like 3.
Or 4 * 3 or 4 times. And I love like, I love, I love
when he's on because it's like, I'm getting a little updated on
(39:24):
like what good he's putting out there in the world.
Like he had asked a question to you during that episode where it
was like. He was talking.
About the the gathering, that convention thing he had gone to,
Yeah. And.
That like segwayed into this, what slogans or words like do
(39:46):
you attach yourself to? Like what are your mottos or
like things that like drive you like?
Is it a scripture? Yeah.
And like the first. One for me that came was love
like I I really try to when I can embody what I think.
Is my way of experiencing love, but like putting it out there as
(40:10):
much as I can, even though like sometimes it's super super super
hard and that's not because it'shard to love others.
It's just sometimes I feel like I'm so in my own inner world or
drowning in my own inner world that all I can do is just be
there and like. I can't be the.
Best version of me that I want to be for everybody.
(40:31):
And then on the days. That I feel better I try my best
to embody that idea of like whatit means to love or be loved or
spread love because I've even. In times like right?
Now for a lot of us, it's very hard.
And I feel like people need it. The most and it's like I go.
(40:53):
On the. Times where I feel like I should
be able to embody it the most, I'm not able to give it because.
I struggle so. Much to to love myself going
back to you talk sending me thatthing earlier and being like.
Where I'm like. I'll never be happy.
(41:15):
If if you're. Listening to this.
Check out the previous previous posting or No2 postings ago at
this point because we have a episode coming out where we
were. Where were we?
Caviar. Caviar Bayside, Yeah.
That's going to be a Fire 1. But a little.
(41:39):
Little soundtrack clip, Bonus clip soundtrack, right?
Something like that. It was a bonus clip.
Any good? Back to the love topic.
I I love places like this. But although places like.
This are a little saddening sometimes It's like I I love
(42:00):
that I'm out here with you like that's important to me because
you're family, but like damn, like do I just get so sad?
Like I was listening to Home Girl the other day streaming and
she she had asked Chad, what areyour?
Biggest fears? And like I.
Know my biggest? Fears do you have do you?
(42:20):
Have a big fear. Big fear.
Like. What's your biggest?
Fear you could think of 1 My biggest fear.
Is. God forbid, please.
But my children experiencing a painful death.
Damn man, I. I irrationally.
(42:41):
Think about that throughout my day-to-day life, probably way
more than I don't know if if it's more than most parents or
not, but it's like that's something that I do think about
a lot and I just God forbid, please like.
I think it's. I think we.
Get brought to that point because of trauma.
Trauma. Because I think about death.
(43:03):
All day long, really. Like, really?
Badly like it it's a poison on myself like you say irrationally
I'm I probably agree with you that I'm 100% in the boat with
you and I'll prove to you that I'm in that boat with you Oh
gosh because. Whenever.
(43:23):
I'm in a situation where I'm in a safe place or at at my home
and somebody leaves my home or goes out and is just out for
longer than I expected for whatever reason in my head or
doesn't come home at their normal time.
Like I'm immediately in fight orflight mode.
And like I've my brain has to try to fight away this idea.
(43:48):
Like Oh my God, what if they died?
And like sometimes I. Have moments at night where,
like, I think, like, what if my mom never wakes up tomorrow and
like, I'm not ready to lose her.Like, emotionally I'll start
crying right now. Like, I think about these things
like, all day all the time. But like, irrational levels of
(44:13):
like, I'm not ready for more people in my life to die.
Yeah. And like I fear.
Losing them. Like.
Desperately. Like I fear losing them.
But to tie it. Back to love and biggest fear is
it's like. Because that's what all this was
(44:35):
meant. To be is to tie back to love.
This like biggest fear thing. She said that I'm like, my
biggest fear is like losing everybody I love and being left
alone to just spend. Like whatever.
Last little time I have left or infinite future I have left with
like nobody left that I love. And I feel like I already have.
(44:58):
So little. So that's like.
So scary to. Think about it's not like I have
a a life with like a. Plethora.
Of like people close to me like.Most of the.
People that are close to me live.
Overseas. And.
I barely get to see. Them and it and it kills me
(45:20):
inside like if. My financial.
Situation in life was different.I would be able to see them in
life. My grandparents are getting.
So much older. Time is just going.
By like this like I'm like literally sitting in the car
with you today on the way up here, like looking at clips of
(45:41):
like one of the one of the previous times I was last there.
And it's like 10 years ago already.
Like we Skyped my grandparents but they're getting older.
Then there's like global. Issues and like talks about like
in their country literally have like civilian war preparation
(46:02):
because of like I'm saying like so much because.
Of Russian military. Buildup in Finland and around
Belarus. So like all the Baltic states
are preparing for potential invasion.
So so everyday civilians and school kids and everybody has to
prepare for a worst case scenario as if like Russia
(46:25):
invades tomorrow, what are we going to do?
Like what are the protocols? It's like?
Well, I. Got to go about my fucking daily
life thinking about that. Like losing all the people I
love. Or like, what's going to happen?
Then. And I feel like it.
I feel. Like guilty because.
(46:46):
Then I feel selfish. For like being like, oh man, my
worst fear is like a selfish fear.
It's like I'm going to lose people I love and be alone.
Which is kind of always been my.Life fear is like dying.
Alone. And I say I was going to tie.
All this back to love because like.
(47:10):
I love. Being out in nature, I love
scenery and beautiful, beautiful.
It's more than just a. Shot like like when we're
standing on top of the stairs earlier.
What were they called? This got.
Like 3 different. Names but the stair.
Steps of Liberty. Steps of Liberty.
(47:31):
And like we're looking out and you can see the bridges across
the What is that river, the. Susquehanna.
Susquehanna River. Yeah.
And it's like, like that. It's like you, if you care about
nature, if you care about life, I feel like when you stand and
(47:55):
experience. Sights like that.
It's like more than awe inspiring, It's like a
overwhelming feeling of like, wow, yeah.
When I'm like out in the grand. Canyon, like that's the kind of
stuff I saw like when I was in Maine and we were on top of the
mountains and you just look out and see the stars.
(48:17):
It's like, wow. Like that's all you can explain.
It's like, wow. It's like otherworldly wow.
Yo Maine bro. Maine.
And I. Like I look at myself and I'm
getting so much older, like I'm 29 and I know I have a lot of my
life ahead of me. But like that ties into oh I'm
so sorry, I just smacked the mic.
(48:39):
I'm like. Waving my hand around but like
it ties into like that dying alone thing or like losing all
my loved ones and currently being alone, being single.
Like that's cool and all I don'twant to end up with the wrong
person. Like I'm fine taking my time
with life and how it goes, but it's like I want to share these
experiences like romantically with people or someone.
(49:05):
That I'm in a. Relationship with and it and it
just sucks like fucking I'm not I don't get to sit in these
situations and watch the fuckingeagle dive into the water to
constantly try to catch this fish while the sunsets and the
rivers running over the Creek onthe Rapids and like I.
Feel like I'm constantly. Letting like my life, not
(49:27):
letting my life slip away. But my life is slipping away and
I have no control over it. And that's just how fate has
decided for life to be. And like I have that.
I've always had that fear when Iwas younger.
Like the universe has always been telling me, oh, you're
just. Going.
To die alone, like you better get you better get used to it.
(49:48):
Like my whole life, my whole life, I've always felt like
that. And I've never wanted kids.
So like, that's just, oh, look. At the Ducks, That's a sign.
That's a. Sign my my.
Whole I. Appreciate that if that is a
sign, God bless the universe, but like I've never wanted kids.
So like on that aspect, like I'mlike, yeah, I'm going to die
(50:10):
alone. Like my God forbid something
happened to my little brother. But he definitely lives a little
bit unhealthier than I lived at his age.
So like I worry about him too. And it's like, fuck's sake,
like. Love like.
I. Got stuff to say the.
The day before I'll. I'll end it on this like the day
(50:32):
before my dad died. Like what he we have Hospice.
He's sitting in his in his bed chair thing and in our living
room. Yeah, and this is after like.
I've already gone through this. Whole process right of like him
sending emails him like in his ways telling me he misses me,
(50:53):
he's trying to make a change in his life.
Like me coming back, me finding out he has cancer, me taking
care of him for a year while I watch him degrade.
And then like, it's like it finally hits the climax of the
story where this man who's neverbeen able to communicate emotion
to me and fuck it, I'll cry. So like, my tears run down this
(51:16):
river too. But it's like, yeah, that's the
point. That's.
The point? It's.
Like I. Finally.
Hit the climax of this story where like my life and his life
interject and this this man who's never once been able to
communicate his emotions to me. I'm sitting there over his.
(51:41):
Bed talking to him and he's likehe's like, I hate that you have
to see me like this, bud. And I'm like, I'm like it's.
OK, I hate that I have to see you like this too.
But like, I love you and it's like I love you too.
(52:01):
And the next. Day I have.
To watch him. Die.
And like, I wasn't ready for that.
That was out the blue. But.
It's like, really? Like I.
Had. To wait your whole.
Fucking life. To hear those fucking words come
out your mouth on your deathbed,man.
Like we could have been doing this.
Like we could have been doing all of this shit like that.
(52:24):
So you, you, you. Feel that loss when you're out
here with this stuff. I feel lost in love.
Yeah. Unfortunately, I feel.
Like, emotions aren't so cut dry.
And just like these Rapids, it'sjust the combination of
constantly mixing around. It's not.
(52:46):
You can't, can't have one without the other.
Yeah, you can get both. There's a.
Equal amount of chaos as there is tranquility.
Peace, order, stability. What word do you want to?
(53:14):
To counteract chaos, it's another word.
For rational reason. Yes.
Chaos and reason. Yeah.
You know, I don't want to project any and I'm not
necessarily saying yo, you should go have kids, but like
(53:35):
it's over the. Three years we've done this
podcast, I swear to God, it's been a conversation of me being
like, I don't want kids. And you're like, you should have
kids, man. Yeah, you so badly want me to.
Go through all the. Struggles that you've gone
through as no, no, you can relate to me and be like yeah
man like here's what I'm about to be big bro like no man you.
(53:57):
Can learn from me. You can learn from.
Me the first day, Great Father. Thank you.
Half good. Father boy, that's.
What makes you a great? Good father, is that you?
That you don't think you're a great father all the time?
Thank you man. You.
You derailed me. Sorry, thank you I.
(54:18):
Accept my flowers. You're talking about kids, The.
First thing is. You avoided one of my biggest
mistakes, and that was having a kid as a kid.
You're you're approaching your 30s in a few years here.
And like, you know, you're that's that kind of goes to my
(54:40):
greater point. That you're, you're kind of.
Like shifting into this different era of your life.
And I'm not saying that you should have kids, but I guess
like my. Suggestion.
Maybe. Is that like?
(55:00):
In some. Capacity.
Like maybe, maybe your soul. Your.
Spirit is just like. You're at that time when you.
It's time for your own family because like these areas like
you're talking about where you might feel your loneliest and
when I'm thinking about it from like the.
(55:22):
Perspective that. You're given.
I'm like damn, that does feel. Pretty lonely, you know, but
like, also at those points in your life, like after you've
created and built up a family over.
Like. Your midlife like.
(55:45):
All those people that. You poured love and wisdom.
Into over. Those years that's like, those
are the people who keep you warmin those parts of your life.
You know what I mean? Like if you do it right, and I
understand it's really hard to do it right, but there's a,
(56:06):
there's A at that point in your life, that's when your children
and your grandchildren, if you do it right, that's when they
keep you warm and you don't feellonely, you know, all the way up
till the end because you're. You're wrapped around this.
Family that you built and that doesn't have to be children, you
know what I mean? Like it's whatever capacity
works best for you, but. And that's easier said than.
(56:29):
Done. You know what I mean?
Like you can't just go out and be like, oh shit, you're my
wife. I mean maybe 100 and. 50 years
ago. Oh yeah.
Jesus Christ, I. Don't know, but that's not the
America we. Live in right now.
You said what that's not. The America we live in.
Right now. I'm sure Trump wouldn't mind.
(56:51):
That world. God damn it bro, you know not to
go off. Into this conversation, I don't
know if he. Would have made it as an
explorer, I'll be honest. No, no, he's too.
Weak. Not to spin off into this
conversation, but that is. A very.
Very real thing that like the. Value of women.
(57:13):
According to societies over history like.
Up until like the last. 100 years has always been reduced to
private property, and that's what makes all these, like, such
a shame. Yeah, it is.
That's what makes. Like all these like.
Bible Stories. Wacky because a lot of them were
(57:36):
taught in church in these weird ways where it like justifies the
man's position in the family andin society, but it neglects to
acknowledge that that idea was manifested and written in a time
where women were actually property, for example like.
(58:00):
Any law? Any ancient law that there.
Was against. Essayed it wasn't for like the.
Benefit of. The woman being essayed.
It was like. You shouldn't SA anyone unless.
(58:20):
You got. Money to pay for it because
basically what you're doing is by SA and someone you're
devaluing another man's property, whether that be her
husband or her father. And like you bought your wife
from men. So like when men had daughters,
(58:42):
like there was a a monetary value attached to them and
that's what the husband who wanted her had to pay the
father. So like if you essayed one of
his daughters. You devalued.
His private property or if you essayed his wife, you devalued
his private property. And those laws were written in a
(59:03):
way like where that's the perspective not.
But then now modern day in churches, it's taught in a way
where it's like, no, God intended the man to be the head
of the household and the head ofthe church and the head of the
government and the head of everything.
And it's like, you see, like thedisconnect, you know, what's
(59:23):
crazy is. Like, I feel like I'm saying
like a lot again, but I feel like you could make a real
argument that. The reason why?
Society has been able to progress.
(59:46):
So quickly. So fast across.
The entire. World is.
Because. Of women's rights.
Like you have to think. For hundreds.
Of. Years.
For thousands of years, Yeah, Insome.
Cases. Depending on where and what
(01:00:06):
culture you were in the world because some cultures had women
at the top of the hierarchy, facts and even in.
Ancient times rulers or were. Rulers themselves, yeah.
Now and in ancient times. Now and in ancient times.
It's a whole. Other side of the population
that you were never. Allowing.
(01:00:29):
Their intelligence. To contribute to society.
You were just missing out on allthis.
All this wonder. And.
Possibility Facts. Genuinely.
Intelligent people capable of contributing to society, and
we're just never allowed to. Yeah.
Like, we stagnated ourselves as humans for so long over the most
(01:00:51):
trivial shit. Yeah.
And I feel that way even today. Like that's why I feel like it's
so hard. Participation, democracy,
conversation, allowing people tohave sit at the table and talk.
And converse and. Share ideas is.
So important. Because we're I.
(01:01:13):
Really do believe. Like the humanity.
Like we are a collective, Like humans.
And when we. Collectively work together on
things and. Unimaginable things.
Happen like this is how the atomic bomb was created is
because like we literally had scientists from all over the
(01:01:34):
world contributing, racing, trying to beat the Germans,
figuring out how to make the atomic bomb like we used.
Everybody that. We could, but.
To try to figure. It out from all over the world
it's. Like.
Anytime. In history.
I feel like. You.
(01:01:57):
You could pose the question of like.
I wonder if we had access to. This X.
Amount of thousands of women's brains and.
Instead of excluding. Them allowed them to contribute
to the society how much better things might have been.
And I there's for sure people that don't agree with that, but
(01:02:17):
like, come on. We've been robbing ourselves.
For so long because we don't want to.
We don't want to work together. That's facts.
Bro. That's big facts, man.
Do you think like, what is the word?
Is it misogynistic hierarchy? Masculine.
(01:02:46):
I know what you're saying. Yeah, hey.
I kind of derailed myself tryingto think of what the word was.
Do you think? That that was off the back of me
being like we're robbing ourselves by not allowing
ourselves to work together. Yeah.
I don't know why I was. Where I was going with that?
Damn, I had a question. Misogyny.
(01:03:10):
You know, misogyny, kind of. Is interesting.
Oh, I know good. I'm sorry, no, no go.
Do you think like? That.
Whatever that. That thing is.
Where the man? Is the.
You know, in the position that he's in, is that.
(01:03:32):
A primal thing. Do you think that?
That's a primal thing. Like, you know how I argue all
the time that like it might. Be like racism is a is.
Actually a primal thing, the. The leadership.
Thing might be a primal thing because.
(01:03:53):
Like you can observe. That in in chimpanzees and
troops and how that goes becausethere is a male that runs or is.
Like the dominant. Of the of the troop.
But I think I've expressed. That before like I feel in 2025
(01:04:13):
like if, if this is really what we let dictate us, what are we
doing well like. We have the ability.
To OK, this is where I I agree with you.
What? This is where I it doesn't
minimize. It being.
A problem if we have the. Capabilities of differentiating
the difference between right andwrong.
(01:04:33):
We have the different. Do we have the capabilities of
differentiating like urges and telling ourselves nothing?
Like. Expressing.
Self. Control and XYZ like all these
things, yeah. So like.
When it comes to leadership positions or like, male, the
dominant, blah, blah, blah. Like, if that's really like a
(01:04:57):
driving primal force, like, I need you to, like, elevate your
thinking and get over it. Yeah.
And look at other humans as equals.
Yeah. And it's just.
Interesting. Because like, I can hold that
(01:05:18):
opinion and obviously I know there's people that don't agree
with that and. Me saying that's very.
Dismissive of whatever else. It's even interesting because I
know I can give an example, right?
Like almost. All of my.
Capabilities now. As a person.
(01:05:41):
I'm sorry, it just. A bat flew down behind you.
Oh shit. And it it freaked me out almost.
All my. Capabilities as a person.
My expertise, my knowledge, my prowess in any given skill, for
the most part. I could probably.
Contribute to a woman somewhere along the line.
(01:06:04):
And that's just specifically. My life like 2 lives ago.
I was trained. Mostly, and learned the most
from a mentor who was a woman. A life ago.
Same deal, current life, same deal.
And like I'm sitting there having a conversation with a
(01:06:26):
woman and she genuinely, as a woman in a position of power,
does not believe that women. Should be in a position.
Of power. Yeah, and that's cool and.
I sit. There and it's real
conversations that are had like.And I have to tell I'm.
(01:06:49):
I'm sitting here talking with her and she's explaining why she
thinks that, what she thinks women tend to do, behave,
etcetera, and why she thinks that's bad for leadership
positions even though her herself is in a leadership
position. And then I counter.
Her with XYZ you know all my previous mentors and then.
(01:07:11):
I'm like I'm. Like heck you've.
Even taught me most. Of what I know about this
subject XYZ. It's like you're my mentor on
this. So we.
Just did like we're friends, we mutually.
Disagree. On this topic, absolutely.
Completely disagree On this topic.
(01:07:33):
Yeah. But it's just interesting.
To see the difference in how people's perspectives are
because. I'm like God you.
Literally taught me all of this and it's like, so can you see
how ironic it is for me that like I'm literally talking to
the person that taught me everything.
It is like the reason why I think I could do something and
(01:07:53):
you're telling me like. Almost like you shouldn't even.
Like be in that position to teach me these things.
I'm like, you're not giving yourself a dumb credit, right?
Right. You know.
Like that's. That's the counterbalance to
like masculinity guilt, if we can name it that OK.
And it's like, that was the comforting thing with finding
(01:08:15):
like positive masculinity and like feeling like, OK, there is,
there's still a place in the world for like me and that's.
What makes it OK? And that's why I said it's OK
that she feels that way because like.
You know, like like I said. I want to live in a world that's
all inclusive, but like I also want to be allowed to live my
(01:08:41):
traditional life in that all inclusive world because like I
know that there are women who are like women who honestly feel
in their heart like wait, like Ilike the.
Setup the way. It is like I I aspire to be a
stay at home mom and a housewife.
Like I want to live a traditional lifestyle.
(01:09:03):
So like, that's cool man, that'scool.
But like. That is odd, right?
Because you're like, wait a second.
It's like, yeah. It's like a reverse Uno.
You're like, what the fuck, bro?Whoa, whoa, what are you saying
right now? You taught me everything I know.
About this thing, it's like. That's a.
Bit. Male feminist versus female
(01:09:26):
traditionist. Like whoa.
That's a fever. Dream, it was a really
interesting. Way to start my morning for
sure. That's a fever dream.
Yeah, but the best part of it? Is like we were able to laugh
about our differences, like while talking about it, like we
were genuinely like laughing about the absurdities of the way
(01:09:50):
each situation we were presenting to each other.
What? Yeah, because.
We're both. On opposite side.
So like, it wasn't like laughingat them.
It was like, oh, I see the ironyin what you're saying.
Like, ha, ha, ha. Like that's funny.
Like, what a crazy way that thisis ironic right now.
Yeah. As two adults should.
(01:10:15):
As two adults should. Oh, as two adults should.
Yeah, handle a disagreement. And the sun the.
Sun has completely. Set the moon is out I.
Was about to say it's getting dark.
Man, we should probably wrap it up.
Wrapped it up. River's gone dark.
Cried a little bit. I made sure I took, I took one
of my tears and I dropped it in the river.
So I'm actually river now. That reminds me of like a old
(01:10:38):
gospel song like. Down by the river, Yeah, we're
going. To look for it on the way.
Home because it'll now that songwill always remind me of like
being here in the river you crying down at the river like
it's such a it's such a poetic and spiritual thing man this is
like this is my heaven. This is my Nirvana.
(01:10:59):
This is my escape like. This place means so.
Much to me, I thank you for bringing here.
Bringing me here, man, This is. I'm really happy I spent my
Monday night out here. Hell yeah, I wouldn't have.
Had it any other way? Hopefully this is like.
Of recharge for you for the week.
(01:11:20):
Yeah, man. Maybe not on the social aspect,
but on the spiritual sense. In the spiritual.
Sense. Yeah.
Man, thank you, thank you for that episode 90.
Five of the birth therapy show 95.
Love y'all love you guys.
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