Embarking on a journey of profound transformation, I find myself amidst the serene landscapes of Bali juggling the complexities of constructing a dream vacation villa with a burgeoning realization that life's true riches lie not in material possessions, but in the tapestry of experiences and personal growth. Stripping away the layers of a former identity tied to financial success and luxury items, I invite you to join me in a candid exploration of how my financial aspirations became my personal intentions.
In this transformative tale, you'll witness the contrast between the stark inequalities of wealth and the inner darkness that haunts our society, mirrored against the backdrop of my own pursuit for a deeper, more meaningful existence. As I undertake my third 200-hour yoga teacher certification, I do so with an intention to heal and illuminate the lives of others. We'll conclude with an invitation to consider the pivotal role of internal work in our lives, and I'll leave you with a heartfelt sentiment of love and gratitude, all from the heart of Bali. Join me for an episode that promises to challenge, inspire, and perhaps even redefine what it means to truly thrive.
#BGIR #Motivation #MentalHealth #Discovery #Mindfulness #intentionalliving #Meditation #Yoga #Selfhelp #themotionalhealer #growth #journey #explore #wonder #manifestation #intention #sayyes #yougotthis #choice #yesyoucan #poetry #poeticjourney #poetryinlife #thebrokestguyintheroom
BGIR.ME
Episode Transcript
Welcome back to the Brokers Guy in the Room.
This is Chris Cushion here,coming to you again from Bali,
indonesia, today.
Today I had some hard decisionsI had to have to consider
anyway, as I'm here, away frommy loving wife, away from my
comfortable home, away from mybusinesses, my daily
responsibilities, my dogs, myfamily, my loves, things that
(00:32):
are a little behind schedulehere.
And you know, as I'm trying topursue a dream here and trying
to start a company here and getthis first of hopefully many
vacation villas built as a proofof concept for our management,
if I leave when I'm supposed toleave, I'm going to leave
(00:53):
unfinished business and yet if Iextend, I'm going to put
excessive pressure on my wife,family and businesses back home.
And so here I am.
You know, I'm supposed to takeoff in two weeks and I've got
this massive consideration thatI'm looking at and it's a
difficult thing to consider.
But what's got my focus reallyis how much the things that I've
(01:23):
desired has changed amidst thisprocess and how different I
feel as a man and as a humanbeing, as a husband, as a
partner, as a financier, as afather, as a business owner, as
an entrepreneur, as an artist,as a creator, as a yogi, as a
teacher, and I think truly, Ireally owe yoga for the vast
(01:51):
majority of this change.
Yoga, the yoga effects crew andBali had such an effect on me.
See, I used to be so caught upin financial pursuits and the
possession of physical things,and that pursuit was to keep
them.
And you know, what happened tome is a cliche, it's what you
(02:15):
hear all the time happens to somany people.
The more that you aggressivelypursue that money, the more that
you aggressively pursuepossessions and physical things,
the emptier you become inside,and particularly as you acquire
them at least that's what it isfor me.
You know, the more focused Ichase on money, the more shit
(02:37):
that I acquired.
The bigger my sack got, themore I felt I had to put in
there and keep filling it andkeep filling it.
I mean, one of my firstobsessions was watches.
God, and it's funny, because ifyou knew me years ago, I
wouldn't dare put a piece ofjewelry on my wrist if it felt
to me like handcuffs and thatwas something I swore would
(02:58):
never touch my wrist.
And so, hell, no, I didn't wantto wear a bracelet, I don't
want to wear a watch, until Igot my first one, my first
expensive timepiece, and then it.
Then I became obsessed.
I became obsessed with withCartier timepieces.
I absolutely loved them.
Jaeger LeCoutre one of myfavorite brands, but regardless,
right now, you know, I probablygot about 40 of the damn things
(03:24):
just sitting in watchwindercases and you know when I'm home
I'm.
So you know which watch am Igoing to wear today?
And what's funny is I haven'tput one on since I've been here,
and it dawns on me now that assoon as I get back, honestly I
have every intention ofliquidating said watch
(03:46):
collection so that I can pour itinto the investments and the
things that I'm trying to createand do here.
I don't miss what I don't haveand, quite frankly, I could give
a damn about them and it seemedI feel a bit like a fool for
having gone that route.
However, the fact that I canliquidate them and convert them
into an asset now that I canreuse is helpful.
(04:08):
And so you live and you learn.
But that's what's really been onmy mind just tremendously at
this point the pursuit ofpossessions, and really that was
always driven for me by envy.
(04:30):
I'd be lying if I said itdidn't start because I saw.
I saw somebody else with somepossessions and it evoked some
feelings of perhaps jealousy,envy.
Matter of fact, the title theBrokeest Guy in the Room and the
story of the Brokeest Guy inthe Room really pertains to the
(04:54):
fact that as a kid, I grew upwithout a lot of money, yet
somehow I always found myselfsurrounded by rich people,
surrounded by people who seem tohave everything that I could
want, and for years that fueledme with jealousy, that fueled me
with rage, and I was reallykind of an angry, bitter person
(05:15):
for so long, because I justthought I was never gonna.
First of all, I thought Ididn't have these things because
I wasn't good enough, because Ididn't deserve them, and I
thought that I would never havethem and that it was silly to
even reach for them, because whyreach for something that you're
never gonna be able to acquire?
Why reach for something that isjust outside your grasp and is
(05:36):
gonna remain outside your grasp?
What's the fricking point?
And then, one day you findyourself reaching for something
that you never matter of fact,then one day you find yourself
grasping something that younever thought you would even
dare to reach for and, moreoften than not, once you got
(05:58):
your hands on it, it's not quitewhat you thought it was gonna
be.
I used to describe myself likePeppi Le Pew.
If you're familiar with thecartoon of Peppi Le Pew, if
you're not, I'll describe realquickly.
Peppi Le Pew was a loony tunecharacter who was a skunk, and
he was a French romantic and hewas constantly pursuing this cat
(06:21):
that walked under a whitepaintbrush and just happened to
get a white stripe down its back, and so Peppi Le Pew was
constantly mistaking this catfor a skunk, and so he fell in
love with her and was chasing,chasing, chasing, chasing.
And then, always at the end ofthe cartoon, the roll would flip
and the cat would see somethingabout Peppi Le Pew that would
(06:43):
make it fall in love, and thenthe cat would start pursuing
Peppi Le Pew, to which pointPeppi Le Pew's reaction would be
to run for his damn life.
So that was kind of like me.
Every time I acquired somethingthat I thought I wanted so bad,
usually went in a stash andpiled somewhere, became
(07:06):
something forgotten, something Ino longer needed, wanted, cared
about, and I was onto the nextone, onto the next empty pursuit
, because that's what I did andI just couldn't, I couldn't seem
to stop myself.
Well, that gets old.
And then one day, somethingremarkable happened, and it
(07:29):
actually was here.
It was here in Bali.
Now, I can't remember who thefirst person that said it to me
was, but I know that I can tellyou that happened about five
times while I was here, lastJanuary through last April and
what happened was somebody toldme that I changed their life,
(07:54):
and this was the result ofsimply telling my story and them
seeing how a series oftragedies ultimately became the
most beautiful thing that couldhave ever happened to me, and
(08:14):
how I was able to perseverethrough that, through those
experiences, and be transformedby them, and then convert them
into a future plan that I wouldpursue and suddenly go from
broken to on the path topursuing my wildest and deepest
dreams, and then, shortlythereafter, starting to realize
those dreams into my own realitythrough daily manifestation,
(08:38):
absolute belief, absolutededication to the task, in
unwavering focus and inunwillingness to turn around.
And again, this was notsomething I was.
I wasn't trying to inspiresomeone, I wasn't trying to fix
their problems.
I wasn't trying to do any ofthat, but knowing that I did got
(09:01):
me high in a way that no drugcould ever do.
I got inspired by inspiringother people and, quite frankly,
I got a bit addicted and thatsudden shift made all of my
focuses take a differentdirection.
(09:21):
All of a sudden, the mostimportant thing to me was
pursuing my heart center andthen lifting other people up,
finding ways to inspire people,to work with other people, to
provide opportunities and tohelp individuals grow.
I got this dream about not justdoing these businesses here in
(09:44):
Bali and making Bali a part ofmy life, but ultimately taking a
portion of the proceeds overtime and putting it towards a
foundation so that one day Icould start a small school or
educational program that wouldprovide English lessons to
underprivileged youth, and thatis absolutely my plan for the
future here.
So everything that I doultimately is in an attempt to
(10:07):
take me one step closer to thatreality, and that's not going to
change.
Quite frankly, with each littlesuccess, the level of
excitement for me andencouragement to know that I'm
still making progress and thatI'm making that dream more and
more possible with every moment,it's a feeling that's so
(10:31):
incredible that I could havenever possibly, I could have
never possibly really known hadlife not handed my ass to me in
so many different ways had I notAcquired these, these random
things that I desired so much torealize what possessing those
(10:51):
things would feel like and howit wouldn't leave me feeling
fulfilled, and how Everypossession would simply lead for
a desire for another possession.
And it's like being on ahamster wheel.
Remarkable to me I was talkingto my best friend, george, about
this this morning, actually howdifferent it is coming back
from New York, and you know youescape New York and you know
(11:17):
when you go back you don't evenrealize the pressure cooker you
on.
But a hamster wheel is aperfect analogy.
Or I think what I said to himis that landing back in New York
is like being dropped in a pit,in a fish tank, and all of the
sudden, everything, the entireworld that was outside of that
tank, disappears and it becomesvirtually impossible to connect
with it, to remember what itfeels like and to be a part of
(11:37):
it.
And the moment I leave, I feellike the weight of the world is
off my shoulders and I'm able toput my focuses on places other
than money.
What I asked him was On anygiven day, how long do you go
without thinking about some billyou have to pay, and his answer
(12:01):
was minutes, and I think mineis the same when I'm over there,
which, of course, puts so muchpressure on a human being that
who wouldn't buckle.
The remarkable thing is, whenI'm here, I have to remind
myself To focus on those thingswhen it's time to do so, but
(12:26):
they are not the front andcenter of my mind.
They are in the far back of mymind.
It takes effort.
What is in the front and centerof my mind is finding something
to celebrate on a daily basis,to get up, To write poetry, to
create some inspirational videos, to record a podcast, to go
(12:46):
practice or teach yoga, toexercise, to nourish my body, to
nourish my mind, to be the besthuman being that I can possibly
be.
In my opinion, this is exactlywhat the focus of life should be
.
My life has become a dailycelebration and a daily pursuit
(13:08):
of happiness, and it's anincredible feeling.
It's a feeling I just wish Icould, I could share with other
people in the whole point ofthis podcast, the whole reason
that I'm even saying this isbecause people need to know it's
real, and so many people in thewest, uh, particularly in New
(13:29):
York, because I mean, I canspeak to that because that's
where, where I live.
Uh, just have no idea.
They don't even realize thatthey've lost touch with it,
because they have no idea whatit even feels like anymore, or
perhaps they never did, which,once you experience the other
side, you realize just how muchof a goddamn travesty that is,
(13:53):
because life is not about payingfucking bills.
It's not, I'm sorry.
Life is not about just making abunch of money so you can buy
some stupid shit that will oneday be someone else's fucking
garbage to deal with.
It's not.
You know, the souls that aregraced on this planet are like a
(14:18):
long series of, or rather anendless series of dominoes, each
one impacting the next one,impacting the next one,
impacting the next one.
So you owe it to yourself andeverybody else to make the best
fucking positive impact on thisplanet that you can.
Fuck the bullshit.
(14:38):
It's just so hard for us tolearn that First you got to
encounter it.
You know, you got to knowsomething's real before you dare
to reach for it, and it'sremarkable how you can learn
these things from people and incircumstances that just are so
much yeah, I'd use the airquotes here so much worse than
(15:03):
your own.
It's funny, people who I Inever would have thought I would
envy some people, you know, Iused to think I used to place my
sights of envy on people whohad many, many, many possessions
and Now, so commonly, thepeople who I find, who I envy
the most, have the leastpossessions and the greatest
(15:25):
quality of life Because theyhave found something they do
that they absolutely love, thatspreads more love to other
people, and I find that to beRemarkable, you know it's it's
like the grand epiphany that Inever knew would happen and that
I'm so grateful for and that Iwill never look back from again,
(15:47):
because now life for me isabout a daily celebration.
Work for me is about play, and,and my greatest ambition has
become to grow up, to be a child, to spend every day exploring
wonder and inspiring dreams andambitions and realizing them,
(16:08):
and Helping people to lift upand to believe that they can
leave a positive mark on thisworld.
By helping other people, not bystepping on them, not by
hurting them, not by stealingfrom them, not by robbing them
in other ways or takingadvantage of them.
(16:31):
One of the ugly truths of theplanet that I have learned is
some of the people who have themost money have taken the most
advantage of some of the bestdamn people around, and that
makes me sick.
I Just got no patience, no timefor it anymore.
Those are the people that Icould care less about leaving a
(16:52):
positive mark on, althoughthey're probably the most
important people to leave thepositive mark on, because you
fixed a problem and you reallyfix something.
But of course, the true workstarts for all of us internally,
with ourselves.
We got so much healing to do onthis planet.
(17:13):
There's just so much anger andresentment and rage.
Christ Almighty, just the otherday I found out that somebody
I've known for years, somebodywho used to patronize my store I
didn't know him well, but he'sbeen in if the New York forever
and Through some random act ofviolence, this poor guy got shot
(17:35):
in the face twice, murdered.
I came out of yoga class andand my best friends, just you
know, sends me a message in apicture and I'm just in
disbelief that somebody my agejust met the end of his life
simply for being in the wrongplace at the wrong time and
Ultimately being exposed to acircumstance that he had nothing
(17:56):
to do with.
I Find that truly remarkableand truly, truly tragic.
It it really it just kind ofblew my mind.
It blew my mind that there arepeople on this planet who Wake
up in the morning and set out Togo and commit a violent crime,
(18:21):
to go and and line their pocketsby emptying someone else's In
this life or the next.
For all of them, I am mostcertain.
I've never been more certainthat karma is real and it will
take care of that.
But that's no longer my problem, that's no longer my concern
and that's no longer my focus.
What is my concern?
(18:42):
My focus, and but you know, mydaily practice is to do the
exact opposite, to do whateverlittle thing I can on this
planet To try and counteract, toprovide some light to where
there's been darkness, becausethere really is just so much
darkness, such an unbelievableamount of it, that we pick up on
(19:03):
and and that's so many of uschoose to just kind of Walk away
from, pay no mind to.
Well, I Can tell you, thisindividual made a conscious
choice to pay as much mind aspossible and just spread as much
light as possible, which is abig part of why I put my mind
(19:23):
and body through such a massivechallenge to complete yet my
third 200 hour yoga teachercertification, not not for
Certifications or whatever, butjust to elevate my personal
practice so that my students canbe elevated to that equal
extent.
And I can tell you the morethat I've changed the focus of
(19:45):
my pursuits.
The greater I feel as a humanbeing, the more excited I am to
get up every morning, the moreexcited I am to to be surrounded
by other human beings who I canhelp lift up, and by lifting
them up I lift myself up.
With that, I'm gonna.
I'm gonna close out here onkind of what inspired this
(20:07):
conversation to me.
I had these words come to mejust a little while ago, just
just after I finished my dailyyoga practice, and this is
called the envy.
I Once envy to rich man foreverything he had.
I Thought it gave him freedomand that envy drove me mad.
As I watched that rich man age,I saw his love slipping away
(20:31):
and began to understand thatthere must be a better way.
Still, it was hard not to focuson all that I did not possess
and, with the weight of myambitions growing heavy on my
chest, I would make some baddecisions that were misguided at
best.
You see, it's hard to beobjective when a man becomes
(20:52):
obsessed, but the greatest oflife's lessons will always be
the hardest learned.
The things we grow to love arethe things We've truly earned.
And so the chase continued untilI caught that which I sought.
But the more that I acquired,the more I felt distraught.
Fulfilling my desires becamelike dancing with a fire,
(21:16):
jumping out of a frying pan justto go swimming in a fryer.
Until one loss turned to many,and the losses would inspire a
sudden change of my direction.
To become the man I couldadmire, I had to change my own
perception of the meaning ofpossession, just to learn that
(21:36):
my pursuits left me pursuing anobsession.
Inspired to make a change, Ilearned to listen to my heart
and found the ending of my storyWas really just the start.
Until next time, my friendswith endless love and gratitude
to so.
Until next time, my friendswith endless love and gratitude.
This is Chris Kush, near thebroker sky in the room, signing
(21:59):
off from Bali, saying namaste.
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