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April 8, 2024 • 21 mins

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Picture yourself enveloped in the profound silence of Bali's Nyepi Day, an island hushed under the belief that it's being cleansed of demons, seeking no trace of human activity. This is where we find ourselves in this heartwarming episode, as I return to the city of Tabanan and become part of an enchanting New Year's tradition, celebrating with the local community and witnessing the transformative power of cultural immersion. From the ceremonial building of Oga Ogas to the reflective quiet of Nyepi Day, join me in exploring how this festival offers a moment to contemplate the essence of community and belonging.

Venture with me as I open up about life's unanticipated turns and the journey of acknowledging one's position in the world. This episode is not just about a cultural celebration; it's a candid look at the personal realizations that arise when one embraces their status among others with greater resources. Sharing the challenges and sacrifices involved in constructing a life and a relationship under strain, I draw parallels with Taoist philosophy and surfing, using these metaphors to illustrate managing life's inevitable changes. Tune in for a powerful conversation that strikes a chord with anyone looking to find balance in the ever-changing tides of personal and shared human experiences.

#BGIR #Motivation #MentalHealth #Discovery #Mindfulness #intentionalliving #Meditation #Yoga #Selfhelp #themotionalhealer #growth #journey #explore #wonder #manifestation #intention #sayyes #yougotthis #choice #yesyoucan #poetry #poeticjourney #poetryinlife #thebrokestguyintheroom

BGIR.ME

#BGIR #Motivation #MentalHealth #Discovery #Mindfulness #intentionalliving #Meditation #Yoga #Selfhelp #themotionalhealer #growth #journey #explore #wonder #manifestation #intention #sayyes #yougotthis #choice #yesyoucan #poetry #poeticjourney #poetryinlife #thebrokestguyintheroom

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome back to the Berks sky in the room.
This is Chris Kushner, yourhost.
Today is Nyeppi Day 2024.
The Nyeppi tradition and ifyou've been following, there was
a previous episode recordedlast year my first encounter
with Nyeppi.
Nyeppi is the Balinese New Year, and on the eve of Nyeppi they

(00:31):
have a ceremony where they buildwhat they call Oga-Ogas, and
these Oga-Ogas are depictions ofthe demons or weapons that the
gods use to cleanse or purify,and so they build these
depictions and they parade themthrough the streets and then

(00:51):
they burn them.
And the next day the belief isthat these very demons will come
to cleanse the island, and soit's actually illegal to go
outside, it's illegal to light afire, to play music, to make
any sort of noise, anything thatwould attract attention,
because the belief is that thesedemons are coming to clean the

(01:13):
island and the hope is that theywill find nothing, so that they
leave the island at peace foranother year.
I've been so honored to be ableto take a part of this and be a
part of this ceremony now forthe second year in the city of
Tabernon.
My good friend today has beenso gracious to accept me and his

(01:38):
family and his whole family and, quite frankly, the entire city
of Tabernon.
It's a remarkable experience tobe so far away from home and to
feel so at home, to be sowelcomed and so beloved by
community that you really feelyou are part of it From the

(01:59):
moment I arrived this year.
What was different from lastyear is last year nobody knew
who I was.
This year I arrived and perhapsthere was upwards of a thousand
people who knew and who wereexpecting me, and this was truly
incredible.
Thinking back over the years andwhat these past two years have

(02:24):
meant for me really is a perfecttale to tell about sort of why
I chose to call the show theBroke Us Guy in the Room.
So many people ask me why doyou want to be the Broke Us Guy
in the Room?
And the response has been it'snot about being the Broke Us Guy

(02:44):
in the Room.
It's about realizing how asimple shift in your perspective
can change your life.
See, I spend most of my lifebeing surrounded by people with
greater means than I had.
That's the harsh reality, andfor years I thought this was a
bad thing, until one day my eyesopened and in that day I

(03:07):
realized that that just meant Iwas in the right room.
That just meant that everyonearound me who I was choosing to
envy, in actuality was in aposition to help me.
But that would never occur.
That I hope would never occurunless I realized to ask for it,

(03:30):
realized that I could ask forit and, even further, gave
myself permission to ask for it.
And so for me this year theNyapi tradition being the new
year really gives me anopportunity to look at the life

(03:51):
I'm trying to build for me andmy wife, and the path there has
been absolutely filled with someof the most unbearable
sacrifices you could imagine,not the least of which include

(04:11):
being away from your love andyour family and your support
center and your structure.
For months on end, on bothsides, my poor wife has had the
weight of the world placed onher shoulders in my absence, and
yet there she stands and not aday goes by that I'm not in awe

(04:33):
of her grace and her gratitude.
That doesn't mean it's allroses.
We constantly have fights atdifferent moments, when she
feels strong or I feel weak orvice versa.
It can change the dynamic ofthings, and I think a lot of

(04:54):
relationships struggle with thaton a daily basis.
A lot of people don't realizethat this is normal and healthy
behavior.
What is not normal and healthybehavior is trying to respond to
each circumstance in the sameexact manner.
You have to respond with theequal rise and fall.

(05:16):
That is what Taoism is allabout.
The ebbs and flows that occurin life and learning to manage
them are the secret to life.
It's one of the reasons thatpeople get addicted to surfing.
Surfing is such a perfectmetaphor.

(05:37):
You know.
You look at what it is to getout there and to expose yourself
to the absolute mercy of theocean.
And when you can master it,when you can learn to ride that
ebb and flow and allow thecurrent to take you in a manner

(05:59):
that you could have nevernaturally just taken yourself,
you start to see themagnificence and the beauty of
what it is to really understandthe world and to understand each
other with regards to arelationship.

(06:21):
Yes, it is a challenge for allyou married people out there who
are at a moment where you'rewondering is this right for me?
And if that wonder comes inresponse to an argument, I just

(06:43):
challenge you to give 24 hoursto counteracting it, to take
just 24 hours to see if you cando everything you can do to do
better than you did in theprevious 24 hours and gauge the
result.
If your circumstances don'tchange, then perhaps you might

(07:07):
be right, but my guess is youwill find that your change will
change your circumstances.
In my case that has been theabsolute truth.
See, anytime I wasn't gettingthe result I wanted in my life,

(07:30):
it was not because of thecircumstances in my life, it was
rather because of my approachto them.
And every time I was able toachieve the circumstances that I
wanted, it was because I wasable to approach them from the
perspective that would yieldthat result.
And know that doesn't comeautomatically, and often it

(07:54):
requires realizing the fullweight and penalty of the
opposite pursuit before you cancourse, correct and assume the
action that you need to betaking.
But whenever I'm faced in thatcircumstance where I feel

(08:16):
hopeless or I feel that thecircumstances themselves are
predetermined, I have to askmyself could somebody else in
this position do better than Iam doing?
And I have yet to encounter acircumstance when the answer to
that is no, can you?

(08:41):
I'm not gonna sit here andprofess that I know what
everybody else's circumstancesare or how everyone else
responds to them.
What I am offering is my ownmonologue on my and my own
reflection of my own actions andmy own circumstances, my own
rights and my own wrongdoing, myown successes and my own

(09:03):
failures, with regards to mypersonal professional life all
the same, and why I'm offeringthat is because I do happen to
be a human being who went, in aspan of just a few years even
less just a couple years fromthe lowest point, from feeling
his life was absolutelyshattered, to realizing a life

(09:28):
that I would have almost neverdared to even whisper a dream
for.
It would seem so audacious Tothink that I could acquire a
life like the one I'm actuallyliving right now.
See, I'm 39 years old and at 39years old, my life turned

(09:52):
around.
All the sudden, the dreams fromwhen I was like 19 and 20 are
right within my grasp, and thereis a path to reaching dreams
that I didn't even know I coulddream.
All the sudden, I have reasonto celebrate every day.

(10:14):
Every day, I'm so excited tolive this Magnificent life
because my life has becomecentered around lifting other
people up and not about theempty pursuit of material gain
and, as a result of that, allthe material things that I wish
to gain.
Not only am I able to acquire,but I'm more easily able to

(10:39):
discard of and I think that hasequated to the biggest change in
my life Suddenly, things that Idesired so badly before Well,
I'll say it simply, thetreasures I wish to acquire

(11:02):
became the trash that I soeasily Dispose of.
Now those acquisitions arethings that I look to convert
into, dispose of, to reapplytowards meaningful purpose,
because the reward of that is sofar greater than Any feeling I

(11:27):
could have ever gotten from anysort of material possession.
And as a result of thatrealization and my commitment to
that realization, I am nowliving a life that is so
fulfilling and so beautiful andso magnificent that the morning

(11:51):
Sun practically rips me out ofbed, because I just can't wait
to get started.
If that is not how you feelevery morning, then please Let
me help you, because that is howlife can feel every morning.

(12:16):
And I'm gonna throw anestimation out there that there
is going to be as many peoplewho wake up feeling empty like
that, who are wealthy and haveall the means in the world, as
there are people who don't, onthe opposite end of the spectrum

(12:36):
.
Because what you learn in thepursuit of finance and the
pursuit of material gain is thatit is Absolutely an empty
pursuit.
You create the beast to feedand then you instigate its
hunger and it never goes away.

(13:01):
It is never Satisfied.
It is converting life intopurgatory, and life does not and
should not be that way.
This year, 2024 and yeppy, whichis March 11th, I am making a

(13:27):
personal commitment To neverlook back at the way that I used
to be driven.
The fuel by which I used to bedriven, see, everything I did
used to be about financial gain,and it never will again.

(13:48):
Never.
And and the funny thing aboutthat is, from the moment that I
let go of that pursuit, IStarted to find that you, when I
needed it, the money was therefor me.
Random things would happen.

(14:09):
Instead, what I pursue is nothow much money can I make, but
how much good can I spread, howmuch can I accomplish in the way
of lifting other human beingsup, and I can promise you the
way that that makes me feel isso far greater than anything I

(14:32):
could have ever purchased formyself.
In a previous episode, Idiscussed how, at one point in
my life, I became obsessed withtimepieces and how I do have a
collection of timepieces, and Ican tell you now that my plan

(14:55):
for those timepieces is toliquidate them so that I can
bring them here and put themtowards the purpose of building
more villas, in the effort ofmoving towards having enough
rooms to where I can allocate aportion of them for a free work
trade program for young peoplewho are pre-university to come

(15:18):
and offer English lessons forfree.
So you can come stay for amonth or two for free, but
you're going to volunteer forfive hours a day teaching
English to underprivileged kids,and I can say without the

(15:38):
slightest waiver that the rewardfor that to me will be so much
greater than wearing a goldencardier on my wrist.
Matter of fact, I feel foolishfor owning one.
I feel foolish for everpursuing one.
I used to be a man who said youknow, I wanted a Ferrari, and I

(16:05):
can tell you this now, if ever Ishould have enough money to
purchase a Ferrari and actuallydo so, that will be the most
shameful day of my life, Becausewhat could be done with that
money?
Could lift a village, couldeducate 1,000 children, and if I

(16:26):
actively ever could allowmyself to choose something so
damn frugal as a vehicle that Iwould drive probably less than
1,000 miles a year.
That would serve no purposeother than to stroke my personal
ego.
While I could reallocate thefunds that would come from that

(16:52):
to lift up and to empowerunderprivileged children in
areas where they would neverhave those opportunities, I
would never be able to lookmyself in the mirror again.
And so, yeah, I'm coming atanyone with a Ferrari, I'm

(17:13):
coming at any one of you whodoes, and I'm saying look
yourself in the mirror.
Does that thing really make youfeel as good as it would to
help 1,000 children?
And I'm going to challenge youto sell the fucking thing and to
build a school somewhere wherethere isn't one, to create a

(17:34):
program somewhere that can helpkids who are hungry, who are
underprivileged, who are nevergoing to have an opportunity.
I'm going to challenge you to dobetter than to simply stroke
your ego.
The world doesn't need any moreFerraris, but the world

(17:59):
certainly needs a lot moreschools, needs a lot more
hospitals, needs a lot morepeople who care.
There are some corners of thisplanet that are so dark that for
those of you who bask in thelight, it would be inconceivable

(18:21):
the things nightmares are madeof, and what's remarkable about
that is that you have the meansand the resources to shed light
on them and to eliminate them,and so all I can do is ask that
you join me in that attempt.

(18:44):
Let's light the world up, let'shelp those in need.
Some of you out there areprobably listening and thinking
why should I?
Well, to that I have a verysimple response Try it and find

(19:06):
out, and if you don't feelinside the way that I did when I
did, then I guess we're justconstructed of different DNA.
But I promise you it's at leastworth a try, because you may
just get more out of it than youdid from buying yourself that

(19:28):
Ferrari.
Give it a shot.
After all, you got everythingthere is to have, so what is
there to lose?
On that note, I'm going to sharesomething that I just wrote.
I'm entitling this one freedom.

(19:52):
I remember what it felt like tobe the man I left behind.
I remember feeling hopeless.
I remember feeling blind, butin my blindness there was
something I did not expect tofind.
By listening, I could see aheadas much as I could behind, so I

(20:16):
did what anyone would do Ilistened to everything, and I
started to really understandjust why the cage bird sings.
When you realize everythingthat is supports all that there
can be, you see everything thatyour blind eyes were not able to

(20:37):
see, and once you see beyondthe veil, you will reach for
what you see and you will findthe strength inside you to
escape your captivity.
Freedom Until next time, myfriends, with endless love and
gratitude.
This is your gracious host,chris Cushnier.

(21:00):
Namaste.
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