I am

Send us a text

Sometimes life throws us into the deep end, and we have to learn to swim all over again. That's exactly what happened to me.  What started as a simple escapade to Bali metamorphosed into a journey of unforeseen self-discovery and transformative experiences, including a deep dive into wellness and a surprising venture into real estate. As I pull back the curtain on my adventures, you'll be privy to the raw and real narrative of how a quest for healing led to personal growth and an apprenticeship with a shamanic healer, all intertwined with the challenges of pursuing a dream in the face of adversity.

Strap yourselves in for a rollercoaster of triumphs and setbacks as we navigate the tumultuous waters of professional and personal upheaval. Returning home from paradise, I was met with financial pressures and dwindling self-belief. Yet, I found solace in the discipline of yoga, which reignited a flame of creativity and determination within me. This episode isn't just a recount of a man finding his way back to the yoga mat; it's about how reconnecting with my fitness goals in Bali provided a lifeline to overcome fear, spark creativity, and pave the way for success in both my wine and liquor store and my real estate brokerage.

Embarking on a path of self-discovery is no easy feat, and as I reflect on the delicate dance of embracing change while carving out a new identity, I hope to inspire you to confront your own personal illusions. Join me as I vulnerably share the trials, tribulations, and triumphs of starting an international business, and witness how the pursuit of dreams can lead us to our truest selves. This isn't just about selling paintings or building villas; it’s a testament to the power of saying "yes, I can," and the profound impact that mantra can have on turning aspirations into reality.

#BGIR #Motivation #MentalHealth #Discovery #Mindfulness #intentionalliving #Meditation #Yoga #Selfhelp #themotionalhealer #growth #journey #explore #wonder #manifestation #intention #sayyes #yougotthis #choice #yesyoucan #poetry #poeticjourney #poetryinlife #thebrokestguyintheroom

BGIR.ME

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome back to the Broke's Guy in the Room.
This is Chris Kushnier, yourhost.
It's been a while and I want toapologize for my absence.
To summarize the whole storyfor those of you who've been
following, it's been a bitintense, to say the least.
This podcast journey startedright around the first time I

(00:29):
came to Bali, and if you've beenfollowing then you know that
this journey has been a lot of aprocess of healing.
I came to Bali amidst sometumultuous circumstances and I
needed a escape and a reset.

(00:50):
And when I got here I, by wayof the universe, found myself
getting surprised and taking ahuge detour to what I was going
to do.
I thought I was originallycoming to party for a week and
blow off steam due to my Crohn'sdisease.

(01:12):
On the third day of that, I wasdone.
I couldn't take any more and Ihad to turn and focus on health
and fitness.
And so, long story short, Ifound myself at Soham Wellness
Center.
I met my good friend Conrad, mygood friend Sammy, and I found

(01:33):
myself being invited into abickering yoga teacher's
training.
If you're not familiar withbickering yoga, it's the 26 and
2 hot yoga most popular form ofyoga on the planet at present.
It's significant because I hadnever done yoga, I had zero
experience and I was alwaysinterested.

(01:56):
You know, I've done everythingfrom wrestling, powerlifting.
I was really always strengthfocused and as a result, I was
never very flexible.
And as you get older I think atthe time I was 37, as you get
older, you start to losemobility, move up on things, and
things shift and your focusshifts and then you start

(02:17):
looking for other ways, otherthings that might be a better
way.
I found myself there, and soConrad had invited me to come
back and the next day and attendthis yoga class, and so I did,
and I met Mr Ian, who's the CEOof Yoga Effects and a master

(02:41):
yoga teacher, and from themoment I walked in the room, he
sort of demanded that I didn'thide and as a result of that, I
ended up connecting with thisentire group of strangers from
all over the world who werethere to learn to be yoga
teachers, all sort of with thesame why, you know all wanting

(03:02):
to help people, all seeingsomething that that pose a
massive healing benefit and whenI say healing, I don't just
mean physical, because for methat's.
This was a largely emotionaljourney, and so the week that I
was supposed to stay for turnedinto a month where I would audit
this yoga teacher certificationand I would be so moved and

(03:26):
find so much in it that Iactually returned to attend the
next yoga teacher training thatfollowing January, as a full
student attempting to get mycertification and become a yoga
teacher.
That trip was planned for amonth.
At the end of that trip I met,I met a guy who's a shamanic

(03:49):
healer and he invited me to comeapprentice with him and learn
about manifestation techniquesand learn about some other
shamanic techniques my goodfriend Sebastian.
And, and so I did.
I ended up, you know, extendingmy trip and and learning about
manifestation techniques fromSebastian.
And, long story short, what wassupposed to be a month Turned

(04:17):
into another month, and then atthe end of that month I met a
couple guys who had beenbuilding villas here.
My friend Nico, who I met inthe yoga program, introduced me
to my friends Francesco andCosta, and they would introduce
me to what is what has lovinglybecome my Bali family, what

(04:39):
lovingly call the Bob's Bobsenior, bob Jr and they were
about to start building the nextvilla right next door to Costa
and Francesco's, and so I wantedto figure out how to get
involved, and what I saw fromSeptember to January, returning,
was that real estate values hadabout doubled in this area.
And so I really, you know, Isaw a big opportunity in a place

(05:04):
I was quickly falling in lovewith, and and so I got to meet
the Bob's, and then I had to dosome homework and I learned how
to Start a foreign-owned realestate company here.
So my wife and I created what'scalled a ptpma and we were off
to the races, made a deal forour first villa and Suddenly

(05:25):
everything was getting very real.
My wife still hadn't been toBali yet, so later that year I
left in April that year, andthen in September we would come
back.
And you know, it's become kindof a running theme that when,
when I come here, it's as if mybattery recharges, you know, and
then when I go back West I haveto use that battery, and it

(05:51):
took me a while to kind offigure out what was, you know,
behind that?
What are you supposed to takefrom that?
Well, in my world back home, inmost facets I am the caretaker
and the boss, and I'm the onepeople come to when they need

(06:12):
something, and what I've come torealize over time is that you
know you start to live a lifelike the giving tree and You're
constantly focusing elsewhere,which makes it very quickly it
becomes very impossible to focuson yourself, and so when I'm
coming here and traveling alone,you know I've got nothing to do

(06:35):
but focus on myself and so someincredible healing happen and
some massive transformations,and it was internally grateful
and and internally grateful tomy wife, cara, my team at Top
Shelf liquor back home, all thepeople who help keep things
moving Dan Cole, my, my, mypartner here at a key brokers,

(07:01):
it Every everybody kept itmoving and that gave me the
freedom to explore and to learnand to do something that I
considered Absolutely crazy.
You know, looking back, ifyou'd have told me two years ago
that two years from that point,I would be the owner of an
Indonesian company and andhaving a brand new Vacation

(07:21):
rental constructed in Bali and Iwould be commissioning
paintings to bring back to toastart shows and Working on deals
to export furniture andwholesale in the United States,
I would have told you you wereout of your mind, no question,
and I think, also looking back,if, at any point, even if I had

(07:41):
said that that was my goal, ifat any point I actually Set out
to tackle that, the intimidationwould have crumbled me.
You see, this all happened, onething leading to the next,
leading to the next, leading tothe next, almost as if the
universe had a leash around myneck and was walking me around
what was going to be theneighborhood of my life.

(08:01):
So Where's this all going.
When I brought my wife here,that was the first time that it
was all gonna become real.
See, up until that point itseemed like I was running away
from her and you know, bali waskind of like my mistress to her
and and I could feel this painand it caused pain in me, it

(08:22):
caused a big divide, and so whenI set out to bring her here for
the first time so that all ofthis could become real, she
could meet the bobs, she couldsee the villa and really feel
that she was a part of thisventure, I wasn't sure how it
was gonna go, if I'm beingcompletely honest.
But as the universe works andit's kind of a reminder that you

(08:44):
know we are Really crafted veryperfectly for each other in
some very different ways we gothere and a lot of healing
happened and we came into abeautiful place and our future
started to look like a verybeautiful thing.
Now, when we got back,challenges Once we got back, now

(09:09):
you know sort of the pressure,the financial pressures of the
commitments me we made.
Here we're really loud right.
And after coming back and andhaving just taken a two week
vacation, obviously we spent abunch of money.
We spent a lot of money becausewe we really went out.
I wanted her to see all of Bali, so I spared no expense taking
her around to really see thedifferent things that she'd want

(09:30):
to see.
But when I got back, I was flatbroke, had massive expenses, big
promises, big dreams and Istarted to see the man in the
mirror as Perhaps a psychoticfool.
I Stop believing in myselfagain.
I started thinking that I wasgonna let everybody down and I

(09:54):
started very quickly not feelinglike the same man.
You know, I looked at thechallenges of taking back over
top shelf flicker, my retailwine and liquor store back home
and Trying to manage that whilegrowing my real estate brokerage
, while building something here,while navigating these various
projects just seem to be toomuch, way too much.

(10:14):
But you steady the course.
So during that time, I took myhead down and I decided I was
just gonna grind out and I wasgonna really put everything into
it, and so I did for the pastfew months.
That's that's exactly what Idid.
I put all my focus in thebusiness, tried to grow it back.
I'm pretty confident that wewill have our best year ever,

(10:37):
and so there's fruits behindthat.
However, the Thing that changesis how that fruit feels or
tastes to you, I guess.
To be more accurate to themetaphor, the reality is is that
I'm selling mine, and liquor isnot my passion, it's it.
It doesn't get me flying out ofbed in the morning.
It doesn't excite me in the waythat you might think something

(11:00):
would like that.
So, as I put the focus in thoseareas, the focus drained from
other areas and I found I Lostmy creativity.
I wasn't able to write.
I hadn't been recording, Ididn't even know what to say
anymore.
I felt like I didn't haveanything to say.
I felt like this story washeaded towards a crash, of a

(11:21):
terrible ending in which theprotagonist loses everything he
had.
Nonetheless, a villa was beingbuilt and a promise was being
made, and I knew, a few monthsdown the road, I was gonna have
to come back here, and so theway things worked out was really
kind of interesting, in that Ithought the villa was much

(11:43):
further along than it was, andso I came.
I came to buy furniture and,you know, to get it, to get it
list ready.
As soon as I got here Irealized that's not possible.
They're not even close, there'sstill months out down the road,
and, and we got some figuringout to do.
Consequently, the yoga programanother yoga teacher
certification was going on, andso, you know, I saw an

(12:07):
opportunity to participate and Ialso took the opportunity to to
cleanse into detox.
Full disclosure.
As soon as I got back home Imean running a wine and liquor
store I started drinking.
It's one of the things I hateabout the business.
I found myself drinking almostevery day, and then I found I
couldn't break the habit.
And then I found I stoppedwanting to go to the gym and

(12:30):
Fitness stopped being a focus.
Fitness stopped feeling good.
Now, that scared theever-living shit out of me
because I couldn't figure outhow to undo it, and the harder I
tried, the further I went intothis thing and Before long I
felt like I couldn't evenremember what it felt like to be
the man that left Bali when Igot back here.

(12:52):
Immediately, things startclicking and I start remembering
what it feels like to not beconsumed by your own doubts or
do not have time to listen tothem, and Slowly but surely, I
started feeling like that managain Start putting things
together again.

(13:14):
I made a commitment to myself.
I decided I was going to attendall of these yoga classes which
, from day one, the intensity,is overwhelming.
Mr Ian invited me to kind ofgive an introduction and tell my
story to his new students.
Now, this class there's about40 some odd people in there,
which is much larger than theclasses I've been to before, and

(13:35):
At the time that was my, myplan.
I was gonna leave it at that.
I was just going to, you know,be there as a support mechanism,
but I wasn't gonna participate.
And so the next morning I came,I came and you know he asked me
to to be there when everybodygot there for class.
And then when I got there, youknow he had a place that out for

(13:57):
me.
And next thing, I know I'm inclass and Physically, mentally,
completely unprepared for theintensity of of these big room
yoga classes.
Now, if you've ever been to abig room yoga class, they're
intense, but I promise you, ifyou haven't been to one of these
, then you have no idea on theintensity of how intense it can

(14:17):
get, because they're not likeany other big room class I've
ever been to.
And I've heard this fromeverybody who has attended this
Every single person who came outof Mr Ian's class said the same
thing that they ain't neverbeen to a big room class like
that.
And so in this room, the heatgets going, the humidity, the
intensity of these, and I allthe sudden remember what it

(14:43):
feels like to forgive my speechbut get your ass kicked.
And Again I'm, I'm thrown rightback into the memory of the
very first class I attended, inwhich I blacked out, I think,
three times.
It was pretty, prettyremarkable, pretty remarkable
indeed.
So Back in this room now youknow I'm Fine minutes going by

(15:08):
as I'm asking myself Do youreally want this?
Can you really do this?
And, to be honest with you,every voice that came up was a
negative one of doubt, somethingI couldn't.
I just didn't see it in myself.
That was four days ago and I'vebeen back every day and and

(15:29):
Something magical started tohappen.
My I started to feel Words comeback, I started to have things
to say, I started to get someconfidence building back in me
and I started to feel a littlebit of that man whose mantra is
yes, I can.
Deep inside me once again andSuddenly, the man who was driven

(15:53):
by doubts, the man who wasoverwhelmed and overcome by his
own ambitions, the man who wasconvinced that he was on a
mission for failure, he startedto fade away.
Now, the reason I chose torecord this episode and talk
about this is because I think somany of us, when we set out on

(16:18):
something, look at the realityis it's easy to dream, right?
You know?
So many of us have these dreamsand In the pursuit of those
dreams, we encounter things thatmake us question our
capabilities, that make us startto believe that we are
incapable, perhaps that make usstart to feel crazy for even

(16:40):
having dreams.
How dare I?
What was I stupid?
Oh man, how many times have Isaid that you wake up and all
you think is I'm a fraud?
I Never had a chance to do thisto begin with.
I was just dumb enough tobelieve it.
How many of you listening andthought that to yourself.

(17:02):
I felt that halfway throughsomething I Was ready to quit
and, to be honest, every day inthat damn yoga room I've been
ready to quit.
Yesterday morning I woke up.
Now I should start by sayingthat there's a 13-hour time
difference here between Bali inNew York at present, due to

(17:24):
daylight savings.
When I woke up yesterday, Iwoke up to a litany of problems
from key brokers, from top shelf, from Some personal things.
It was overwhelming and at thetime that I become aware of
these problems, it's too latefor me to do anything about them
.
Now I've got an hour to get toa yoga class in which I know I'm

(17:48):
gonna feel like I want to dieand when I get there, a lot of
familiar faces see me startsaying hello and before I know
it, I'm starting to feel theoncomings of a panic attack.
And and I Was Terrified and Iwalked outside, get away to hide
my face because there weretears in my eyes and I don't
want anybody to see them.

(18:08):
And I collected myself and Icame back inside and, right as I
did, I noticed an Australiancouple and the male Was a was a
big brolic looking guy coveredin tattoos and as they walked in

(18:29):
the room, mr Ian grab them andthen grab me and said Chris,
you're gonna take care of theseguys.
Immediately I'm reminded ofwhat it felt like my first time
showing up there, and I knowthat he grabbed him for the same
reason he grabbed me.
But in that moment I realizedthat I immediately stopped

(18:49):
thinking about all my woes.
I immediately stopped thinkingabout all the problems back in
New York.
I remembered throughout thecourse of this class as I on
numerous occasions had to turnaround, lay down on my back and
watch the world spin.
As I consider all my choicesthat have led me to that moment,
I spent the entirety of thatclass thinking I wasn't going to

(19:17):
make it through, but refusingto give up.
And at the end of that class Iwas instantly reminded of the
remarkable thing about this yogaFor 90 minutes as I stepped
inside of there, it didn'tmatter how intense any of that

(19:37):
shit going on in New York was.
Nothing could touch me and Ihad the opportunity to find my
power and to challenge myselfand to face my limits and, after
doing so, walking out of thatroom feeling like I had died and

(19:57):
been reborn.
Suddenly I felt I could facethat litany of problems a whole
lot stronger.
Perhaps some of them weren'teven problems, let alone minor
challenges.
I started to feel my strengthbuild tremendously.

(20:17):
Then this is carried throughbecause when I came here I had
already worked out a deal tocommission these paintings to
bring back with me.
And it made arrangements with agood friend of mine back home,
sam, who owns a wonderfulrestaurant called Gola, austria,
and we agreed to work togetherto host art shows there to try

(20:44):
and sell these paintings, and soI knew I had that mission.
Perhaps more fruitful or morepressing was the prospect of
sending back shipping containersof furniture.
See, I was a little bit of afan of the art.
Shipping containers offurniture.
See, bali is home to Teakwood,and Teakwood obviously is worth

(21:05):
a lot of money in the UnitedStates, and the skill of
carpentry here is through theroof.
I mean, there is just gorgeousstuff unlike anything you've
ever seen back west.
And so I've kind of beendreaming about it, dreaming
about it, and I talked to mypartner, george, and my business
partner and I asked if there'dbe an interest there.
And from the moment that Ifirst mentioned it it's been
pressure, pressure, pressure,pressure.

(21:26):
But the cost is tremendous andthe amount of things that I need
to figure out so far exceed thefew things that I know that.
It's very easy to getintimidated, and so the whole
time I'm coming here, I'mwondering if this is even going
to be possible, and having toforce myself to believe that it

(21:47):
will be.
When I got here, I felt like Ihad no direction.
I felt like I needed a roadmap.
I felt like, well, I felt likeperhaps I had bought on a little
bit too much of my own bullshitand I thought perhaps this was
going to be the grand revealingof the fraud that I am, and

(22:14):
slowly but surely, I start tomake progress.
So, in spite of that, the oneday I decided to just kind of go
out and about and I randomlycome across a place that seems
to have everything that I needfigured out already, and so I
will be pursuing this as I'mhere.

(22:37):
So I came.
I thought I came for, just likeevery other time I came to Bali
, the purpose that I came here,thinking was, was priority, kind
of fell to the back of the lineand suddenly I started
discovering other opportunitiesand other priorities, all

(22:58):
lucrative and all promising andall incredibly fricking,
challenging, but here we are.
I started out wanting to recordthis in hopes that it would
speak to anybody who's in thatmoment where they're questioning
what they're doing, they'requestioning their pursuit, and

(23:20):
the advice that I would have isdoes it fill you when you close
your eyes and you picturesucceeding at what you're
attempting to do?
How does that feel?
When you close your eyes andcompletely erase the thoughts of

(23:41):
the reality that you hope toaccomplish, how does that feel?
And if the answer points youtowards that pursuit, I promise
you find a way to keep going,because if that really does fill
you like that, and if you canallow yourself to really believe

(24:02):
that you can do it to the pointof articulating it to the
universe, you're starting toknock on the door of
manifestation, and I can tellyou that manifestation is
incredible when you allowyourself, when you give yourself
permission.
See, I started speaking thingsinto the world that started

(24:23):
coming into existence in a waythat scared me, and it happened
again.
I mean shit.
Right before I came here, Ithought I wasn't going to have
enough money to make this happen, and then I, in meditation,
really just tried to make thishappen.
You know, I tried to tellmyself, tell the universe, that

(24:46):
deals were going to come, that Iwas going to make some sales,
that I was going to earn andfigure this out.
And long and short of it is,the delay on the villa means
that the large payments are downthe road, which gives me an
opportunity to leverage the artsale to convert that into cash
and bring it back.
When I got here, I could havelooked at the circumstance and

(25:11):
just said, well, this is a wasteof time, I've done nothing
instead, and to see theopportunity in it, because
circumstances are not alwayswhat they seem to be as we, as
we first encounter them.
You know, your first impressionof something is not always
going to be accurate, and Ithink that becomes more and more

(25:34):
true when you're talking aboutself-reflection.
And so I'm thankful for.
I'm thankful for the surprisesthat keep coming my way, for the
challenges that at times seeminsurmountable, for the strength
that carries me through themand for the things that I've

(25:57):
learned that have allowed me toget here, to all the people who
have imparted that knowledge,who've shared this journey,
who've shared some of the burden, I suspect.
Beautiful things are coming and, slowly but surely, I'm
starting to see how this pictureall comes together, where each
color goes and where each piecegoes.

(26:18):
So I invite you all to staytuned as we progress here.
You'll hear some noises in thebackground.
I am back in Bali now and I amrecording this just right here
in my room and I hope to keepdoing so.

(26:39):
I'm here for about a month andI'll keep participating in the
yoga program.
I will pursue these paintingsthat we have commissioned, but
that is mostly done.
And, most importantly, I'mgoing to see if we can't figure
out how to start becoming adistributor of wood furniture
from here in the States.

(26:59):
Seems crazy, right?
Start a company in a country onthe other side of the world.
Figure out how to export goods.
Figure out how to import goodson the other side, right?
I mean, I've never accepted ashipping container full of wood,

(27:19):
no less, which has to betreated a certain way, or the US
government won't accept it outof fear of there being some sort
of living contaminant, like aninsect or anything like that.
Yeah, it all seems crazy.
It all seems crazy, and yet itequally all seems real and
becoming more and more real, andthe gravity of it is starting
to wrap itself around me in away that is as terrifying as it

(27:42):
is exciting, and I'm so curioushow it all is going to fold out.
But I can tell you this it'sbeen a hell of a ride.
It's been a hell of a ride.
Now I find myself very, veryexcited to see where it goes.

(28:05):
So here's my plan for the restof the time I'm here.
I keep going to these yogaclasses, I'm going to pursue
these meetings.
I'm going to do everything thatI can to have everything lined
up for the villa at the timethat it is complete.
Now, fortunately, orunfortunately, this means that I
will have to be back here in afew months when it actually is
complete.
My goal thus becomes, in thattime, to sell every painting

(28:28):
that I bring from this trip.
I plan to bring with me about20 commissioned paintings.
I've got another 10, 15 at homeand we're going to that's an
aggressive goal for a few monthstime to try and sell them any
paintings, and we will see howit goes.
But I will keep you all postedand let you know how you can

(28:50):
attend the next Bali Exchangeshow.
Soon I'll have these thingslisted online and it'll be much
more accessible and if you'reinterested in.
Perhaps you have nomadic dreamsas such, I can tell you that
this all started because I loveto travel, I love to explore, I
love to find new things, and Iwanted to find a way to make

(29:11):
that my reality.
And so, when the opportunity todo the villa came up, I
couldn't refuse it because Ifelt deep in my heart that my
world back home and myresponsibilities back home
wouldn't let me pursue somethinglike this unless it was already
done.
And I had no choice.
And so, by planning that seedin the ground, god damn it, I
got to be back to water.
It Wouldn't you agree?

(29:33):
So I took a leap and I can tellyou if anyone is interested in
this, I'd be happy to help.
Feel free to reach out anytime.
You can reach us through thepodcast BGIRME.
Send us your comments and letme know what you think of this

(29:56):
whole journey, and I can tellyou that it is possible.
All of this stuff sounds crazy,but the reality is there's not
anything out there that youcan't do, as long as you are
willing to do what it takes toget there.
Now, that might scare theliving shit out of you, but I
can tell you that nothing worth.
It didn't scare the shit out ofme.
Everything I've done that'sturned out to be worth it in the

(30:18):
beginning seemed insane.
The things that seemed likesafe winds are forgotten
somewhere along the way.
Quite frankly, the wind didn'tfeel that great even when it
came.
So I find myself again back onthis incredibly difficult

(30:40):
journey and excited to face myown limitations.
Excited to prove my own innerdoubting self wrong.
Excited to find the man that Ifound last time I came here.
Excited to find the power deepinside myself that went dormant

(31:02):
for a bit and is back alive.
I find myself excited to sharethat power, to teach others how
to reach it, how to encounter it.
And I'm not selling anyprograms here.
I'm not interested in beingyour life coach.
I've had numerous requests thatlife isn't for me.

(31:24):
I'm not going to ask any.
I'm not trying to sellsomething.
I'm trying to tell a storybecause the story changed my
life and if it can offer even afraction of impact to anyone
else, then the story was worthtelling.
And, quite frankly, I feelhonored to have this story to

(31:49):
tell because it was so damndifficult to get here.
The other day, for the firsttime in a long time, I found
poetry coming back and it reallycame at a time as I'm, you know

(32:13):
, I started the question the manthat I thought I was.
I started to doubt the man thatI believed I could be.
I started to see the worldupside down and I started to

(32:34):
think what if the world sees methis way?
And somewhere along the lines,I found the strength to not give
a damn and to remember thatit's on me to love me.
It's on me to believe in me, todo what I am dreaming and
hoping to do, to pursue my owndreams, to dare to fail to look

(32:58):
it in the eyes because, quitefrankly, there ain't no way I'm
gonna succeed unless I crossthat bridge.
The only other alternative isto fully just accept your
failure and to sit down and kissgoodbye all the things that you
so desperately wished weregoing to be your reality.
So I decided to stick it out.

(33:21):
Stick out this pursuit and thisis this is what I wrote it's
called.
I Am here.
I am again confessing all thesins of a man.
Atoning for these losses wasnever part of my plan.

(33:41):
When I saw growth, the universemade every effort to choke, but
I refused not to breathe.
So now I'm going for broke.
Finding wealth within theconfines of self-inflicted
poverty would ultimately bepractice that was bound to set
me free.
But I am not he.

(34:02):
I am not the man that I thoughtwas destined to fulfill my
fantasy.
Instead, I learned that thatman was nothing but a fallacy.
So do away with all the fictionto find ears that plan to
listen.
Making strangers of reflectionscause the dead man to be risen.
I am he.

(34:24):
I am the product of surprisingall the constants in one life.
I am the wrong that wasproduced by combining all the
rights.
I am the loudness in thesilence and the silence in the
loud.
I am the man left staking,standing naked under claims of a
new shroud.

(34:44):
I am Feeling like I, feelinglike I can again.
I decided to pick themicrophone up and start sharing
again, and so I'm going tocontinue to chronicle this

(35:05):
journey through this wholeexperience and starting this
company in Bali and trying tobuild our first international
business, and I hope you all getsomething from it.
Love to hear from you.
That's all I got for now, untilthe next time.
This is Chris Kushner, theBrokeest Guy in the Room.
Say namaste.