Session 70: Eastern Trends

Quick update on life.  
Today's Topic is child sleeping trends like the Scandanavian trend of child outdoor sleeping and Japanese co-sleeping.


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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Buddhist af podcast. I
am your host. No I chant to VISUK and I
have been away for quite some time. I have been
doing a insane amount of job interviews, and well, because
I can't move unless I have a job, so unfortunately

(00:24):
I have to apply for a job I already have,
but in a different state. So I mean, interviews are
just the worst. I know, it's weird, you know, I
have to talk about myself and I don't like talking
about myself in front of other people. I don't like
talking about money in front of other people, So it

(00:45):
just feels weird to do job interviews. I mean, it's
the art of prostituting yourself for the sake of receiving
employment at an organization or institution which you will undoubtedly
learn to hate with the deepest passion of your heart.
I mean, guess whose favorite Laotian is taking part in
this excellent sport of making yourself seem a whole lot

(01:07):
more useful to society than they truly are. This guy.
I mean not that I don't like talking myself up
or proclaim my greatness at every turn, but the fact remains,
I hate having people ask questions about me. I hate
having to describe my strength and weaknesses, and most of all,
I hate having to answer the dreaded where do you

(01:28):
see yourself in the future? The fact is I don't know.
I mean, I'm one of those go with the flow,
take things and stride, don't force the issue sort of people.
If I had any inkling of desire or life goals
in mind, you bet your sweet bippy I would have
at least fulfilled them by now. I mean, after all,

(01:49):
the only real, concrete, solid, No way in hell I'm
not fulfilling them. Goals I ever set for myself were
go to college, check hit a in Vegas five hundred bucks,
but check become a heart throb of all the Latina
girls in LA's Chinatown, Jack and geez, you know what?

(02:12):
Three for three? God, If I put my mind to
doing things, I'd have a pretty badass life going for me.
Right about now, now, you might wonder where true love, marriage,
a kid, a happy life, and all that other cliche
crap is. Been there, done that. I mean, they're asleep
in the next room, so they're there. Anyhow, I'm done

(02:36):
waxing philosophic right about now. On a side note, I
ever had one of those dreams where you receive all
those warm, fuzzy feelings and you just feel like a
world beater as soon as you wake up. It was
like an epiphany, a revelation, A six pack of red
Bull all rode into one. Yeah. I had one of
those kind of feelings when I woke up this morning.

(02:57):
Who needs coffee? When the power of false confidence and
fictional self worth conquers all? And then I sat at
work for about eight hours and did pretty much nothing.
So what am I playing? Animal Crossing? Still? What am
I reading? Nothing? Nothing? Really? And yeah we still We're

(03:23):
still in Dairy. We're still in Dairy, New Hampshire. All
of my stuff is packed. I am just ready to
get that goal ahead from work and so I am
recording this again gorilla style with just my laptop and
a microphone. But today's main topic is I saw an

(03:44):
Instagram video about how Scandinavians are leaving their kids or
babies actually outside in the snow. Apparently it's good for them.
It helps to build their immune system so that they're
less likely to get sick throughout life. SI I leave
my window open for five minutes in the middle of winter,

(04:05):
and all my plants are dead Scandinavians leaving their kids
off defend for themselves in the middle of winter and thriving.
So Scandinavian kids one my orchid zero. But where did
these origins come from? Historical roots? In the early nineteen hundreds,
Nordic housing was often small and crowded, with poor ventilation. Tuberculosis,

(04:30):
tuberculosis the things that killed my wife's ancestors. Tuberculosis and
other respiratory diseases were common. Doctors began recommending fresh air
as a preventative health measure, not just for sick people,
but for infants and children as well. The rise of
this practice paralleled public health campaigns promoting sun and fresh
air as crucial to child development. In other words, tell

(04:54):
your kids to put down their controllers and go outside
cultural values. This aligns with the scan naming ethos of Ferlsville. Yeah,
I totally said that correctly. That was Norwegian, by the way,
or luffbud. That was better because I am trying to
teach myself German. German influence finished term the idea that

(05:16):
regular exposure to nature and fresh air is essential for
well being. Trust and commuter responsibilities are common norms. In Scandinavia,
it's not unusual to see strollers lined up outside cafes,
preschools and babies asleep inside. So if you want to
do this, first of all, don't live in America because

(05:37):
there's creeps out there. But if you are really set
on doing this, age and readiness, so most parents begin
outdoor napping around two weeks to two months old. The
baby must be healthy, full term and gaining weight. Normally,
outdoor naps are usually introduced gradually. Clothing and a layer

(05:58):
layering is key. Typical out its include wool or cotton
based layers, fleece or wool mid layer, insulated snowsuit or
a bunting bag, wool socks and lined mittens, warm hat
covering ears, often a balaclava yeh I say bella clava
I'm cultured neckwarmer or scarf loose enough to avoid choking

(06:20):
hazards because you know you don't want a choking baby.
Babies are placed in a winter sleeping bag or a
lamb skinned line pram for edit insulation. So the pram setup,
which is basically just fancy word for a stroller. Sturdy prams,

(06:40):
buggies or strollers are well insulated and have windproof, waterproof covers,
ventilation holes to prevent overheating or suffocations. Sometimes even a
built in the rometer, often placed in a semi sheltered
area like a balcony, porch, covered garden, or just outside
the front door. Temperature guidelines can't just leave your kids

(07:03):
out there and below zero common safe temperature ratings so
it is forty one to fourteen degrees. Some go as
low as five degrees. If there's no wind and the
baby is healthy and well dressed. Outdoor napping is paused
if it is extremely windy or wet, air quality is poor,

(07:25):
such as pollution or wildfire smoke, and the baby is ill,
has a fever, or shows stress signs. Monitoring your baby
parents often check, usually around twenty to thirty minutes. Hands
and noses are checked to make sure they're cool and
not cold. Some use baby monitors, especially audio monitors. Others

(07:49):
rely on visual checkings through the window. What the experts
say so sleep quality. A finished study in two thousand
and six found that babies longer outdoors average of one
and a half to three hours compared to shorter indoor naps.
Outdoor sleep tends to be deeper and more RESTful immune

(08:12):
system and health. Though definitive long term studies are limited,
anecdotal and observational data suggests that babies who nap outdoors
catch fewer colds, are less prone to ear infections, and
show fewer signs of sleep resistance or fuzziness. Also vitamin
D and mood. Exposure to natural daylight helps babies establish

(08:36):
a circadian rhythm and boost vitamin D, especially important during
dark Scandinavian winters or New England winters, where every time
I take a physical in the winter, I am told
I am vitamin D deficient. If you've seen me, a
very dark man for somebody who lives in New Hampshire,
I shouldn't be vitamin D deficient. I just think my

(08:58):
doctor is trying to prescribe me things so he can
get paid. So what are the risks? What are the
risk and controversies here? Well, cold stress or frostbite so
rare babies are vulnerable to cold injury if not properly
dressed or monitored. Signs of concern include pale skin, cold extremities, irritability,

(09:19):
or lethargy. In nineteen ninety seven, eight Danish mother visiting
New York City, was arrested for child endangerment after leaving
her baby outside a restaurant to nap. This sparked a
debate about cultural misunderstandings versus child safety norms SIDS. There's
no evidence that outdoor napping increases sid's risk if the

(09:42):
baby sleeps on a flat surface on their back and
is not overheated. Scandinavian parents follow safe sleep guidelines, which
are very similar to those in the US or UK,
So no loose blankets, firm mattresses and a flat sleeping surface.
You adapt this into our western world. Well, if you're

(10:02):
interested in trying this elsewhere, start in a mild winter,
spring or fall, or mild weather sorry spring or fall.
Use a balcony, backyard or patio, preferably private so nosy
people don't report you to the police. Stay close by
and check frequently. Be aware of local attitudes or laws.
That's accepted. What's accepted in Oslo may not be accepted

(10:26):
in Omaha. Avoid it in urban areas with high air pollution,
unsafe neighborhoods, or wild animals. So don't do this in
dairy New Hampshire, where we have in abundance of sexual predators, bears,
and air pollution. I said it. I live within a

(10:48):
mile of maybe three sex offenders, not convicted yet, but
they have been arrested for it. Yeah, so Alex does
not leave my site when we go outside. Next one,

(11:09):
Japanese co sleeping. What a weird segment. Huh. Japanese co
sleeping cultural and philosophical foundations. So the concept of I
may I may have said that wrong very likely have
coined by the psychoanalysis to ko doi, I may is

(11:29):
the desire to be passively loved and cared for like
a baby, depending on a mother. It is considered a
core Japanese emotional need, not a weakness, but a trusted
emotional closeness. CO sleeping provides a physical space for I may.
Children are not expected to self sue or be left

(11:50):
to cry. Independence, I'm sorry, interdependence versus independence. So Western
parenting tends to emphasize autonomy and sleep training for self regulation.
Japanese parenting values interdependence and responsiveness. It's not about the
child learning to sleep alone, but about shared rhythm and

(12:12):
mutual presence. I just want to say right now that
Alex co sleeps with us. He sleeps in the bed
in the same room as us, and he is a
lot happier in the morning. He used to sleep by himself,
and every night he would sneak in and just get

(12:34):
in between us. So we just decided, you know, it's
not worth it to put him to bed by himself,
to have him stay awake all night hoping for us
to fall asleep, because he tends to wake up and
open his door and check. I'm a light sleeper, so
I know when he opens the doors to check, and
so just for the sake of everybody, it's just easier

(12:58):
to have him sleep in our bed. And so yes,
Alex is a cold sleeper, and he is a very
happy kid. So hey, it's working architecture in living spaces
so a ta tommy and fushuma. Traditional Japanese homes use

(13:20):
tatammi flooring and fushuma, which is sliding paper doors, making
bedrooms multi use and adaptable rooms are not rigidly separated.
One space can be a living area by day and
sleeping area by night, so as it sits right now,
like the room I'm in is used as an office

(13:42):
and game room and sometimes if you know, I want
to take a nap and they're playing in the living
room or in the bedroom, I'll just come nap in here,
so technically also a bedroom. So this natural naturally supports
coal sleeping with multiple generations under run roof be limited

(14:04):
private rooms, so smaller rooms in urban apartments means limited bedrooms.
Many families don't have the luxury of separate nurseries, so
co sleeping is economical and space saving and culturally normalized.
If you've never been to Japan, it's very compact. You
think Boston is crowded, well, Tokyo is super super crowded,

(14:30):
and so getting a two three bedroom apartment is pretty
much impossible. So you have a kitchen which is sometimes
in the living room, and sometimes the living room is
also the bedroom. So that's what that's what that was about,
so you can turn it into In fact, when we

(14:52):
first came to Rochester, New York, we slept on our street.
Our bedroom, my parents, and I was the living room,
so we couldn't go to sleep until everybody else had
gone to sleep and then got out of the living room,
and then that's when we were finally able to sleep.
Futon culture versus Western beds, so for safety, a futon

(15:15):
on the floor eliminates the fall risk associated with elevated
cribs or beds no soft mattresses or padding, so there's
lower sid's risk. Babies lie flat and firm. Sleeping at
the same level means a parent can monitor and respond instantly.
It's flexible, so you can add or subtract futons as needed.

(15:39):
When a second child is born, the setup simply stretches,
and it supports the Kawa no gi formation even with
three or more people. I haven't looked up the Kawa
no g formation, but I'm pretty sure it's everyone sleeps
at the same level. So in the Western world, the

(16:02):
dominant person sleeps a little bit over the other person.
So if you're like so save you're spooning, for instance,
one person is bent a little bit and then the
other person is slightly on top of them, Whereas I
noticed in Asian families, everybody just sleeps on the same level,
so heads are leveled with everyone else. I don't know,

(16:26):
I don't remember why that is the thing, it's it's
just is. So when I was sleeping with my parents
cold sleeping with my parents, our heads were on the
same plane. I guess our pillows were the same and
so like, I'm not where my father's chest is. It's
right there in front of them. So yeah, that's what

(16:50):
I believe. The Komonog formation is so inter general influence
the grandparents factor in multi general households. Grandparents all didn't
support cold sleeping as a return to their childhood practices.
Wisdom passed down reinforces that a child sleeping alone is sad,
often unnatural. Shared responsibilities nighttime caregiving may be shared, especially

(17:14):
if the mother returns to work early. In some cases,
a grandparent may co sleep with the children instead of
the parents. A chief Alex says this way, he would
probably co sleep with his grandparents. Spiritual and emotional dimensions
Buddhism and child rearing. Japanese Buddhism emphasize compassion or karuna,

(17:36):
and non separation. To sleep apart from your child during
such a vulnerable stage is viewed as cold and unfeeling
by many. Sleep is a sacred time in Shinto and
Buddhist belief systems. Sleep is a time when spirits can
visit or room keeping children close may have once had

(17:58):
spiritual safety implications as well. I don't remember if I
talked about this, but I was born in twin and
she she didn't make it, and so my parents were
told that the spirits weren't finished because well, they were

(18:20):
looking for another And so since my sister had passed,
they had changed my name to NOI, which is unisext,
and gave it the female a version. So the the
male version is spelled n O I and mine is

(18:43):
spelled n O Y. So yes, I guess that's the
same belief that if if the spirits were still looking
for that child, it's best to keep that child close.
So modern shifts and research western influence. More families in
Japan now use cribs and Western beds, but often only

(19:07):
for naps and as backup. Marketing from Western baby gear
companies such as Pampers and Fisher Price is shifting expectations
slowly pediatric research. Japanese pediatricians rarely recommend cry out loud methods.
Studies in Japan show lower levels of infant sleep, anxiety,
less night walk night waging, and stronger parent child attachment

(19:30):
compared to Western families that sleep train. So Alex is
super close to his mom because they share the same bed.
I sleep in a separate, smaller mattress, still attached to them,
but slight gap because I don't like getting punched in
the middle of the night. And so Alex is super
close to his mama, which coincides with the study so

(19:53):
psychological impact. Long term Japanese co slept children generally show
secured attachment, low anxiety, and strong familiar ties into adulthood.
There's no evidence of developmental harm. In fact, emotional regulation
tends to be stronger, not weaker, despite delayed independence. And

(20:14):
so yeah, I can attest to this because we meaning myself,
Mary and in my side of the family, we are
very close. We're like we can go back generations and

(20:35):
still be very very close. Alex and his cousin Jackson
haven't seen each other for years years, Like maybe Alex
was two and he just saw him saw Jackson like
a year ago, and so yeah, six years. And like

(20:58):
they once they got back together is like they never
they never left each other. They picked up right where
they left off. And so family is very important to myself,
to Mary, and we want Alex to know his entire
family as much as possible. And so yeah, I think

(21:18):
that the the strong familiar ties is absolutely correct. We
tend to even if we don't see my parents. We
video chat them pretty much every week, and just to

(21:39):
just to let Alex know that, you know, his parents,
his grandparents are still thinking about him. Of course they
love him and he loves them back. So yeah, family
is very important. And yeah, so I think we're gonna
keep doing that, going to keep doing the cold sleeping,
and yeah, I don't mind it, so I don't It's

(22:03):
all good. But yeah, that is the show for tonight.
I don't have an answer as to where I'll be.
It's definitely leaning more towards I mean, it's ninety eight

(22:23):
percent North Carolina and that's where I've done most of
my interviews. So yeah, the stress is very very high,
and as soon as I get word, i'll definitely let
you guys know, you will definitely get a very very
high pitched, excited update. So thank you for listening, Thank

(22:49):
you for sticking with me even though I haven't updated
in quite some time. And again I will try to
get things going a lot more, but again life, So again,
thanks for listening, guys, and I will catch you later. Bye,