June 30, 2025 • 10 mins
Why is it so hard for men to talk about mental health? In this episode, we unpack the silent pressures of masculinity, the hidden costs of emotional repression, and how we can start breaking the cycle. Whether you're struggling yourself or want to understand the men in your life better, this is a conversation that matters.
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Support the Podcast Give us a 5 Star review as well as share it with your friends or enemies.
Instagram: @buddhistafpodcast
https://linktr.ee/nc1781
Support my Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@randomfactsofboredom
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-buddhist-af-podcast--6119082/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Buddhist af Podcast.
July is National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, and we
are going to dive deep into stuff that's real, the
stuff we all think about but don't always talk about.
I am your host, NOI Chance of VISUK and today
(00:24):
we're going to tackle a topic that's personal, a little
uncomfortable for some, but absolutely necessary. This is going to
be a multi part series that we'll ask the question
why do men struggle to talk about mental health? If
you have been listening to this podcast since the very beginning,
(00:48):
you will know that I personally struggled with mental health
and I went to the absolute bottom. I went to
the darkest place you can possibly think about going, and
I was one step away from being a statistic being,
(01:15):
just another one of them. But as I stated in
the episode, something stopped me, Something held me and told
me it was going to be okay, and there were
(01:39):
other things to do that I haven't done yet. And
so this episode, this series is a very personal series
and I am probably going to a few times, and
(02:01):
that's okay because it's okay to talk about your feelings
as a guy, as a man, as someone who has
done just about everything. I have been a professional chef,
I have been a professional wrestler, I have been a
(02:24):
professional mixed martial artist. I have held titles, I have
won awards. I have become a husband, I've become a father.
I have done so many things that I wouldn't have
been able to do had I gave in. So that's
(02:49):
what this series is about. Why men are afraid to
talk about their feelings, why they believe that they have
to internalize everything. And some of you may have had
questions about that, and so I hope this episode, this
series is going to answer some of those questions. So
(03:14):
why do men struggle to talk about mental health? It's
not a new question, but it's one we keep asking
because we still don't have a complete answer. But today
we're going to break it down, look at the roots,
the consequences, and maybe what you can do about it.
(03:40):
So let's start with something we've all seen, maybe even lived.
You ask a guy how you doing, and you get
I'm fine, even when he's clearly not fine. Now that's
not because men don't feel things they do deeply, but
there's a kind of silence that's been passed down from
(04:01):
generation to generation this belief that expressing emotions, especially things
like sadness, anxiety, or fear, somehow makes a man weak.
You hear the phrases like man up, don't be soft,
real men don't cry. These aren't just words, they're cultural scripts,
(04:24):
and they start young, often before a boy can even
understand that meant what mental health is. So instead of
learning to talk, many men learn to bottle it up,
to bury it keep moving. So where does this come from? Well,
let's look at the key roots traditional masculinity norms. For decades,
(04:49):
maybe centuries, men have been towed their value lies in
being tough, stoic, and in control. Vulnerability that's often painted
as the opposite of strength. So when men feel overwhelmed, depressed,
or anxious, they think they're failing some invisible test of
(05:10):
masculinity lack of role models. If you've never seen a
man open up about mental health, not your dad, not
your coach, not your boss, then how do you even
begin to imagine that it's safe to do so. Representation matters,
and for a long time, emotionally vulnerable men were either
(05:32):
ridiculed in media or invisible fear of judgment. Let's be real,
men don't just fear being judged by other men. They
worry about what their partners, families, and even their kids
will think. What if they see me differently? What if
(05:53):
they think I can't handle life? That fear is powerful.
Limited emotional vocabulary there's one often overlooked. If men aren't
tough or I'm sorry, If men aren't taught to name
(06:14):
their emotions, if all they've got is angry, tired, or fine,
then how can they even start to process what's going
on internally? You can't heal what you can't name. The
cost of staying silent. Now here's where things get heavy.
(06:38):
The silence. It comes at a cost. According to mental
health statistics worldwide, men are significantly less likely to seek therapy.
They're less likely to be diagnosed with depression, not because
they don't have it, but because they don't talk about it.
And tragically, men die by suicide at rates much higher
(07:01):
than women in many parts of the world. That's not
because they're weaker, it's because they've been told they're not
allowed to be human. Silence doesn't protect anyone. It isolates,
It festers, and when pain doesn't have a voice, it
(07:22):
finds other ways to come out in anger, in addiction
and burnout in broken relationships. So what can we do? Okay,
so what now? If we know the silence is hurting us?
(07:43):
How do we break it? Start with small conversations. You
don't need to pour your soul out in one go.
Start with I've been feeling off lately, or even just
I don't know what this feeling is, but I want
to talk about it. Challenge the old scripts. If you're
(08:07):
a man or someone raising boys, start questioning those old ideas.
Crying isn't weakness, Needing help isn't failure. Vulnerability is human
and it's brave as hell. Find safe spaces, whether it's
(08:28):
a friend, a therapist, or a support group, a podcast
hosted by a sexy laotion. Find people you don't have
to pretend around. No mass, no posturing, just real talk
or be that example. The best way to change the
culture be the culture shift. If other men see you
(08:52):
owning your mental health, they might feel less alone and
may be more willing to speak up themselves. I've often
used the term just because you're not a hero in
your own story doesn't mean you can't be a hero
in someone else's. This is what I mean. Look talking
(09:17):
about mental health isn't easy for anyone, but for men.
There's a wall that's been built over years, generations even,
and every time one man opens up, it chips away
at that wall. So if you're listening right now and
you've been struggling in silence, this this is your sign
(09:40):
you're not weak, you're not broken, you're not alone. If
you've already started the journey, keep going. You're making it
safer for everyone else to start theirs. And if this
episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who
might need to hear it, leave a review, send me
(10:04):
a message, or just take a quiet moment to check
in with yourself. Take care of your mind, take care
of each other, and as always, I'll talk to you
guys later. Bye,
Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Buddhist af Podcast.
July is National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month, and we
are going to dive deep into stuff that's real, the
stuff we all think about but don't always talk about.
I am your host, NOI Chance of VISUK and today
(00:24):
we're going to tackle a topic that's personal, a little
uncomfortable for some, but absolutely necessary. This is going to
be a multi part series that we'll ask the question
why do men struggle to talk about mental health? If
you have been listening to this podcast since the very beginning,
(00:48):
you will know that I personally struggled with mental health
and I went to the absolute bottom. I went to
the darkest place you can possibly think about going, and
I was one step away from being a statistic being,
(01:15):
just another one of them. But as I stated in
the episode, something stopped me, Something held me and told
me it was going to be okay, and there were
(01:39):
other things to do that I haven't done yet. And
so this episode, this series is a very personal series
and I am probably going to a few times, and
(02:01):
that's okay because it's okay to talk about your feelings
as a guy, as a man, as someone who has
done just about everything. I have been a professional chef,
I have been a professional wrestler, I have been a
(02:24):
professional mixed martial artist. I have held titles, I have
won awards. I have become a husband, I've become a father.
I have done so many things that I wouldn't have
been able to do had I gave in. So that's
(02:49):
what this series is about. Why men are afraid to
talk about their feelings, why they believe that they have
to internalize everything. And some of you may have had
questions about that, and so I hope this episode, this
series is going to answer some of those questions. So
(03:14):
why do men struggle to talk about mental health? It's
not a new question, but it's one we keep asking
because we still don't have a complete answer. But today
we're going to break it down, look at the roots,
the consequences, and maybe what you can do about it.
(03:40):
So let's start with something we've all seen, maybe even lived.
You ask a guy how you doing, and you get
I'm fine, even when he's clearly not fine. Now that's
not because men don't feel things they do deeply, but
there's a kind of silence that's been passed down from
(04:01):
generation to generation this belief that expressing emotions, especially things
like sadness, anxiety, or fear, somehow makes a man weak.
You hear the phrases like man up, don't be soft,
real men don't cry. These aren't just words, they're cultural scripts,
(04:24):
and they start young, often before a boy can even
understand that meant what mental health is. So instead of
learning to talk, many men learn to bottle it up,
to bury it keep moving. So where does this come from? Well,
let's look at the key roots traditional masculinity norms. For decades,
(04:49):
maybe centuries, men have been towed their value lies in
being tough, stoic, and in control. Vulnerability that's often painted
as the opposite of strength. So when men feel overwhelmed, depressed,
or anxious, they think they're failing some invisible test of
(05:10):
masculinity lack of role models. If you've never seen a
man open up about mental health, not your dad, not
your coach, not your boss, then how do you even
begin to imagine that it's safe to do so. Representation matters,
and for a long time, emotionally vulnerable men were either
(05:32):
ridiculed in media or invisible fear of judgment. Let's be real,
men don't just fear being judged by other men. They
worry about what their partners, families, and even their kids
will think. What if they see me differently? What if
(05:53):
they think I can't handle life? That fear is powerful.
Limited emotional vocabulary there's one often overlooked. If men aren't
tough or I'm sorry, If men aren't taught to name
(06:14):
their emotions, if all they've got is angry, tired, or fine,
then how can they even start to process what's going
on internally? You can't heal what you can't name. The
cost of staying silent. Now here's where things get heavy.
(06:38):
The silence. It comes at a cost. According to mental
health statistics worldwide, men are significantly less likely to seek therapy.
They're less likely to be diagnosed with depression, not because
they don't have it, but because they don't talk about it.
And tragically, men die by suicide at rates much higher
(07:01):
than women in many parts of the world. That's not
because they're weaker, it's because they've been told they're not
allowed to be human. Silence doesn't protect anyone. It isolates,
It festers, and when pain doesn't have a voice, it
(07:22):
finds other ways to come out in anger, in addiction
and burnout in broken relationships. So what can we do? Okay,
so what now? If we know the silence is hurting us?
(07:43):
How do we break it? Start with small conversations. You
don't need to pour your soul out in one go.
Start with I've been feeling off lately, or even just
I don't know what this feeling is, but I want
to talk about it. Challenge the old scripts. If you're
(08:07):
a man or someone raising boys, start questioning those old ideas.
Crying isn't weakness, Needing help isn't failure. Vulnerability is human
and it's brave as hell. Find safe spaces, whether it's
(08:28):
a friend, a therapist, or a support group, a podcast
hosted by a sexy laotion. Find people you don't have
to pretend around. No mass, no posturing, just real talk
or be that example. The best way to change the
culture be the culture shift. If other men see you
(08:52):
owning your mental health, they might feel less alone and
may be more willing to speak up themselves. I've often
used the term just because you're not a hero in
your own story doesn't mean you can't be a hero
in someone else's. This is what I mean. Look talking
(09:17):
about mental health isn't easy for anyone, but for men.
There's a wall that's been built over years, generations even,
and every time one man opens up, it chips away
at that wall. So if you're listening right now and
you've been struggling in silence, this this is your sign
(09:40):
you're not weak, you're not broken, you're not alone. If
you've already started the journey, keep going. You're making it
safer for everyone else to start theirs. And if this
episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who
might need to hear it, leave a review, send me
(10:04):
a message, or just take a quiet moment to check
in with yourself. Take care of your mind, take care
of each other, and as always, I'll talk to you
guys later. Bye,
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