December 17, 2025 • 26 mins
About Today’s Guest
Brian Metzger is a former Franciscan monk (21 years) and now serves through spiritual direction and teaching.
Contact Brian:
Website: Mission1249.com
——
Clarity; argument not physical fight.
Worthy Before You Perform (Shame, the Yoke, and Receiving Worthiness as a Gift)
Buddy sits down with one of his spiritual directors Brian Metzger (former Franciscan monk for 21 years), after a weekend where Buddy felt disqualified and ashamed. Together they unpack a core truth: worthiness is received as a gift, not earned through performance. This conversation reframes shame, discipleship, and what it means to follow Jesus when you’ve fallen short.
What We Talk About
- Why we start every call with: “Where did you see the greatness of God this week?”
- The negativity bias and why it’s easier to obsess over what’s wrong than notice what’s right
- The trap Buddy hit: “I don’t feel worthy to do the podcast.”
- Brian’s core principle: “The only possible starting point is worthiness as a gift.”
- Behavior management vs. character transformation
- Jesus’ promise: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light”—and what “yoke” means
- “Everyone gets a cross… the difference is the follow Me part”
- How to start your day from identity instead of shame
Key Quotes
- “Catch yourself in the act of being generated—and know that’s the presence of Jesus.”
- “The Gospel is not behavior management. It’s character transformation.”
- “The only possible starting point is worthiness as a gift.”
- “My yoke is easy… whose yoke are you carrying?”
- “Everyone gets a cross. The difference is who you’re following.”
The Practical Takeaway
If you’re in a shame spiral, don’t start the day with:
“Here I go again… I failed… I fell short…”
Start with:
“Father, thank You for this day. Thank You for Your Son. Send Your Spirit—show me how to live from my identity today.”
Then ask yourself one question:
Where did I see the greatness of God today?
(beauty, meaning, goodness, provision, comfort, peace, conviction, clarity)
Challenge for the Week
- One-minute reset each morning: “Thank You, Father… help me live from identity today.”
- One moment of greatness: Write down one place you noticed God (even small).
- When shame hits: Ask, “Am I carrying Jesus’ yoke—or my own?”
About Today’s Guest
Brian Metzger is a former Franciscan monk (21 years) and now serves through spiritual direction and teaching.
Website: Mission1249.com
(Luke 12:49 — “I came to set the earth on fire…”)
Scripture Mentioned / Referenced
- Matthew 11:28–30 — “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
- Luke 12:49 — “I came to set the earth on fire…”
- Mark 8:34 (and parallels) — “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Me.”
Call to Action
If this episode hit you, share it with one person who’s been carrying shame.
And if you’re listening on Apple or Spotify, follow/subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next.
God bless — and don’t take the bait.
This is the Buddy For Junior Show — where faith, truth, and courage come together. Join us as we explore life’s deeper purpose and carry the torch of conviction. The show begins now.
Follow Buddy @BuddyFoyJr
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:24):
Welcome.
Welcome to the Body Ford Juniorshow.
I'm excited today.
I've got a guest joining us.
So I've had my spiritualdirector joining me today, Brian
Metzger.
He is a former monk for 21 yearsin a monastery.
Did I get that right, Brian?
SPEAKER_00 (00:40):
You got that right.
SPEAKER_02 (00:42):
And so, Brian, before I have you jump in real
quick and share a little bitabout your background, I want to
share with the audience whattriggered today's events that
you're joining me.
And today, I do a call once aweek with Brian.
And we always start the callwith what was the greatness of
God this week?
(01:02):
And today I paused.
I was like, I'm alive.
And Brian called him thatimmediately, you know, pulling
over his eyes.
And he's like, What's going on?
Let's unpack it.
And the bottom of mine is Iduring the conversation with
him.
I had said, I don't even feelworthy to do a podcast this week
because I had such a terribleweekend and the devil got me.
(01:24):
And my wife and I got real funnyand I just I didn't handle it
well.
I didn't handle it like abiblical man should.
And it messed me up.
And Brian and I unpacked that.
And then in the middle of it, weboth had this idea.
Why don't we do a podcasttogether today to unpack exactly
that?
How we feel shame and unpack ourworthiness.
(01:46):
Is that fair, Brian?
SPEAKER_01 (01:48):
Yep.
Thank you.
Well, first of all, buddy, thankyou for the invitation to be on
the pod podcast, and thank youfor the introduction.
So, and and then I'm happy tojump in wherever you where you
want to get uh oh no you'releaving today, bro.
SPEAKER_02 (02:01):
You're leaving today.
I am I am I am out of my cup isoverfloweth with nonsense.
Quick for context, what do youdo?
Uh how did we meet and what'syour background in your words?
In your world.
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
Yeah, sure.
I was I was a monk, as you said.
I was a monk for 21 years.
I was a Franciscan monk, and Igot permission.
I didn't go AWL.
I got permission to leave themonastery in 2019.
And the the reason I left was sothat I could get married.
And I love being a monk, and Ilove being married.
If I could do both, I would doboth, but that's not an option.
(02:39):
You can take the monk out of themonastery, but you can't take
the monk out of the man.
My wife knows that she married amonk, and so I love that one.
Yeah.
And so for me, since I left themonastery, I believe that the
wisdom of the monastery isn'tjust for the monastery, it's for
everybody.
And so I began my ownevangelization company and
spiritual direction company, andthat's how you and I began
(02:59):
working together doing spiritualdirection on weekly meetings.
SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
How old were you when you went into the
monastery?
24 years old.
It's amazing.
What what made what triggeredthat decision at 24?
SPEAKER_01 (03:11):
I graduated from Penn State University in 1995,
and I had my degree inaccounting.
I was working as an accountantfor two years, and I had this,
yeah, exactly.
And I had this sense that I thatI needed something.
I had made all the safedecisions, you know, to go to
university, to get the degree inaccounting, to get a job in
(03:32):
accounting.
And I just realized I needed arisk, I needed adventure, I
needed something that was deeperand more meaningful.
And then I started reading thesespiritual books and I was
reading about different types ofmonks, and then I met some
monks.
And at first I thought, like,where do you guys live?
And I expected them to say, youknow, the mountains of Colorado
or something like that.
Yeah, so I expected to go tosome beautiful location.
(03:55):
They're like, we live in NewYork City.
And so eventually I went and I Ivisited them in New York and
discerned to join.
I quit my job, sold my car, cutup my credit card, moved to New
York City to live in some of theneighborhoods that had the
greatest need.
That's what we wanted to be alight in the darkness.
We wanted to be good news forpeople and families and
(04:18):
communities that were indesperate need of good news.
SPEAKER_02 (04:21):
Now, can you help my audience understand why our
start of the day is around thegreatness of God?
Can we unpack that real quickand then we'll get into what we
talked about today?
SPEAKER_01 (04:33):
Yeah, sure.
But one of the reasons that webegin with the greatness is the
foundational proposal, thebuilding block of all of our
spiritual directionconversations.
We're asking this question, thisproposal.
Catch yourself in the act ofbeing generated and know that
that's the presence of Jesus inyour life.
(04:54):
And now I realize that thatneeds a little bit of expansion
straight away, but this momentof being generated, to be
generated, any moment where youfind something beautiful,
meaningful, moving.
So this is this is my proposalof what the gospel is is God
(05:14):
always goes first.
The divine initiative, God isalready at work in your life.
No matter how far from God youfeel, no matter how far from the
church you feel, no matter howfar you feel that you f may have
fallen, or or or even how closeyou are to God, the divine
initiative, God always goesfirst.
And we're and He is engagingwith us each and every day.
(05:38):
And so that catch yourself inthe act of being generated is if
I were to take a moment tobecome aware of God's presence,
where is God showing up in mylife?
And then I call those moments,those are moments of greatness.
And so every call we begin, wewe like what's the greatness
that you want to open with?
And if I could extend that justone more moment with it, buddy,
(06:01):
as well.
We talked in when we first begantogether, we said that you don't
have to try to be spiritual, youare spiritual.
God created us spiritual, thatit's natural to be supernatural.
We also identified thenegativity bias that it's 80%
easier to pay attention towhat's wrong rather than what's
right.
It's 80% easier to focus on badnews rather than good news.
(06:24):
That's why the news has so muchbad news in it, because their
job is not to inform you, theirjob is not to educate you, their
job is to keep your attention.
It's just easier to do that withbad news.
And so part of being a discipleof Christ is disciplining
yourself to turn away fromwhat's wrong and toward what's
right.
(06:44):
So that greatness at thebeginning of the call, that's
what I'm asking.
And this week, what's what's amoment of greatness where you
saw God, where you heard God,where you felt God in one of
those moments of beinggenerated?
SPEAKER_02 (06:56):
I want, like we talked about you getting
involved with my daughter andbecoming her spiritual director,
which I'm working on.
Because I would love to changeeveryone's mind to start
thinking positive.
And obviously, I want to startmy own house.
So I just love it because you'vehelped me, you've helped me
leave set start my day off orbut or say, wait a minute,
(07:16):
what's the greatness of Godhere?
Buddy, let's we let's let's flowour roll.
Unfortunately, it doesn't workall the time yet for me.
For example, what happened thisweekend where I lost my cool.
I just feel right, I feel shame.
And we talked about that whenwe'll roll into that.
Maybe we should pivot into that.
But uh, I think it's a greatpractice.
It's helped me tremendously.
We've been we've been talkingfor, we've been doing this for
(07:38):
what, four, five months, fourmonths?
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (07:41):
Yep, yep.
So it's been great for me.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (07:44):
Yeah, thank thank you, buddy.
The and you know, I seespiritual direction as the
combination.
It's uh, you know, I'm I'mtrained in performance coaching,
in counseling.
And while uh you can see it as atype of uh non-traditional
therapy.
So while it's not traditionaltherapy, it is therapeutic and
(08:04):
it's healing.
And all of this framed underthat umbrella of spiritual
direction.
Uh a powerful God is doing apowerful thing in a powerful
way, and we want to get in touchwith that all the time.
Yeah, amen.
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
Right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:19):
Yeah, that's right.
At all times, at all times.
SPEAKER_02 (08:24):
All right, so today we start off the call, and then
we you immediately went intohelping me understand
worthiness.
Can we unpack can we unpack thatand pivot to that conversation
here?
SPEAKER_01 (08:36):
I I if you don't mind me repeating it, I heard
you say the line.
I I don't feel worthy to do thepodcast now.
Um, and because of what you'dshared that was going on and
that with this past week, and Izeroed right in on that.
I said, What if the onlypossible starting point is to
(08:58):
receive worthiness as a gift?
And any version of the storywhere we try to start somewhere
other than worthiness as a giftis gonna wind us up in some
version of trying harder to bebetter.
Some, you know, one of my one ofmy favorite lines is that the
(09:19):
gospel is not CVT.
The the gospel is not behaviormanagement, the gospel is
character transformation.
So that version where we have totry to do something so that we
can be worthy, that is probablythe most significant false
gospel, the most significantanti-gospel that's out there
(09:40):
right now is yeah, try harder tobe better, try harder to be more
worthy.
SPEAKER_02 (09:47):
Does that mean we don't have to be better or good?
We just do whatever we want, andas long as we accept Jesus
Christ, like how does that workas a Christian?
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
So the way I would frame that is the way we know
what it means to be a discipleis but to look at the pages of
the gospel and to look at thelives of the first disciples.
The lives of the firstdisciples, their pattern of
discipleship will be our patternof discipleship.
That's how we know whatdiscipleship is.
And every one of the disciples'journeys begins with an
(10:18):
encounter.
And so you have that day whereJesus came along and asked uh
Peter and uh Peter and Andrew,and then he invited James and
John.
He said, Come follow me.
And the I like the James andJohn because James and John,
they're mending their fishingnets, if you remember the story.
I do.
They're sitting in the boats,they're mending the fishing
(10:38):
nets.
And I love to consider the factthat when they're mending their
fishing nets, are they lookingup or are they looking down?
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
They're looking down.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
They're looking down, and they're and the
fishing net then representshuman effort, human endeavor,
which is always in need ofmending because it's always
falling short.
So they're looking down, they'renot paying attention to the
realities in front of them.
And then something happens, theylift their gaze, and
instantaneously they come intoan encounter with Christ.
(11:09):
So this call, come follow me,they're taken out of the world,
you know, made by human hands,and they're brought into the
divine adventure of beinginvited to follow Jesus.
And so if you look at thoseearly disciples, Peter and
Andrew, James and John, theydidn't leave that day making a
(11:31):
decision to be better men.
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
Right.
That's a good point.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
They left that day making a decision to follow
Jesus.
So it's through that recognizingthe gift of the encounter and
saying yes to following, that'swhere character transformation
takes place.
So rather than behaviormodification, the gospel is
character transformation.
Behavior modification, that'sthe version where we're trying
(11:58):
harder to be better, tryingharder to do what we think we're
supposed to do, trying harder tolive up to other people's
expectations.
Every imaginary version oftrying harder is in the in the
gospel is behavior modification.
However, what we see on the pageof the gospel is character
transformation through encounterwith the person of Jesus.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
They're a fisherman, right?
They're they're fishermen arerough and tough dudes.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_02 (12:28):
Right?
Right.
So you know, they're probablycursing as they're doing the
nets.
And then all of a sudden they'rein a presence of greatness.
SPEAKER_01 (12:39):
Yeah, I mean, the we're we're getting ready as
we're recording this.
We're not far off of uh off ofChristmas.
And one of the stories is of theshepherds.
And while the while thefishermen probably had a
slightly higher status than theshepherds, they're still the
bottom rung of society.
They're the furthest from thecenter, they're they're the
(12:59):
furthest from the power.
And here these guys, these menare these shepherds, these
fishermen on the fringes.
And now there's this man who hasthis presence who looks at them
and calls them by name, seesthem.
And uh one of the, one of the,you know, this this proposal
that, you know, I made it toyou, buddy.
(13:21):
I've been testing and verifyingit now for uh more than a
decade, and we can make it toour audience, anybody who who's
willing to test and verify this,catch yourself in the act of
being generated and know thatthat's the presence of Jesus.
Don't believe it's Jesus becausewe say it, don't believe it's
Jesus because you want tobelieve it's Jesus.
But while you're in that momentuh being generated, something's
(13:44):
beautiful, something'smeaningful, just like when they
lifted up their heads from thenets, they became aware of, they
became aware of a presencethat's aware of them.
Wow.
So in those moments, we caninteriorly make a two millimeter
shift and you know, God, is thatyou?
Jesus, is that your presence?
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
That's so one of the most amazing things that I've
learned in the last five yearsas I'm around people who've been
in a word for a very long time,20 plus years or their whole
lives, is they they I'll be inconversations and I'll say, What
made you do that?
Oh, God told me.
And I just said, and I wouldlook at them go, you listened?
(14:28):
Like, you listen.
And as crazy as that sounds tothem when I ask that question,
it's as crazy as it sounds whenthey told me they did listen.
And it's amazing when I meetpeople that have been in the
word, that have studied theword, that have made the word
their life, so to say, for lackof a better way of explaining
it, they listen to God.
(14:50):
They they know how do you knowGod's talking to you?
Like how?
SPEAKER_01 (14:55):
Well, well, buddy, can I can I add to that?
So these are people, the peoplethat you're describing are
people who are are steeped inthe word.
Uh I I like the expression thatthey have their life in the word
and the word is alive in them.
When you are steeped in theword, the next piece of that
(15:16):
equation, buddy, is it has to beto find the word hidden in the
depths of the reality that's infront of me.
If it's just an academic study,then if you're in your head,
you're dead, life doesn't startto in your heart.
You have to get out of your headand into the reality that's in
front of you.
And that's where Jesus is alwayswaiting to encounter us, just
(15:38):
like he did Peter and Andrew,just like he did James and John.
SPEAKER_02 (15:42):
So, what advice do you give the listeners to help
them get?
You know, it's it's hard.
We're in the world, we'reworking, things are pulling us.
How do you how do you make thatyour default behavior?
Like what are the how do youwhat do you do?
Well, other than go join amonastery for 21 years.
When I first asked you, I'mlike, I need to go join a
monastery, I need it now.
SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
Yeah, awaken the inner monk.
The the okay, so the question ishow do you start to see?
So the oh, I want to I want tocircle back, but you said you
said it's hard.
SPEAKER_00 (16:18):
And so here's informed this.
Yeah, you love what I say it'shard.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
Yeah, hard is necessary until we realize that
hard isn't necessary.
And here's the crazy part peoplesay Jesus never promised us it
was gonna be easy.
Yes, he did.
The Gospel of Matthew, chapter11, verse 28, Jesus says, My
yoke is easy and my burden islight.
(16:43):
By the way, that language ofyoke, and yes, it's
metaphorically, the ox takes theyoke and plows the field.
That's true, but it's more thanthat.
That Jesus is that's rabbiniclanguage.
Every rabbi had his own yokethat he taught.
Well, there's there's more thatwe could say about that, but
(17:04):
what he's revealing is that heis a rabbi and he does have a
yoke to teach.
And of those yokes, uh, arabbi's yoke is what does he
bind you to of the law and whatdoes he loose you from?
So binding and loosing in yokelanguage, that's all rabbinic
language.
So Jesus is a rabbi.
That's not always clear, and noteverybody's comfortable with
(17:25):
that, but Jesus is a rabbi andhe has a yoke, and he's telling
you when it comes to what hebinds you to and what he looses
you from, there are those rabbiswhose yokes are heavy.
This is not the proposal of thegospel.
This is good news.
My yoke is easy, and my burdenis light.
(17:46):
So Jesus does promise that.
And I remember the day that theLord convicted me with it,
because I was walking aroundcomplaining, saying it's not
easy, it's not easy.
And the Lord said to me, in myspirit, he said, My yoke is
easy.
Whose yoke are you carrying?
unknown (18:03):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (18:04):
So that burden right there, oftentimes we make up our
own version of what we thinkwe're supposed to be doing.
And we're not a rabbi likeJesus, Jesus who has an easy
yoke.
We're a rabbi like those thatJesus is saying that I'm not
that kind of rabbi.
We have a heavy yoke.
So hard is necessary until werealize that hard isn't
(18:26):
necessary.
And now Jesus does say, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me, you cannotbe my disciple.
And so on the day when heconvicted me, he said, My, you
know, I'm saying it's not easy,it's not easy.
I'm muttering to myself.
And uh, and Jesus convicts me,he says, My yoke is easy.
Whose yoke are you carrying?
Buddy, I I had the nerve to pushback against Jesus.
(18:50):
And I said, But you said thatunless you deny yourself, take
up your cross and follow me, Icannot be your disciple.
So I don't understand how thisfits together, Jesus.
And Jesus is great at answeringback.
So he he actually answered back.
And he said to me, the He said,everybody gets the cross.
(19:12):
The believer and thenon-believer both get the cross.
The fallen away and those thatare devout, they both get the
cross.
The atheist gets the cross, andand the person who's at church
every Sunday, who reads theBible every day.
We all get the cross.
What's being identified, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me, it's thefollow me we need to circle.
(19:34):
By the way, notice when I'mtalking about when I'm focusing
on me denying myself and takingup the cross, I'm focusing on
me.
And that's where my suffering iscoming from.
Me focusing on me.
But go back to the line, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me.
That means Jesus speaking.
That's the me you want tofollow.
(19:55):
So we get we get Jesus.
And so when we bring those heavyburdens, you know, difficult is
necessary into it, realize thatdifficult isn't necessary.
Heavy, heavy is necessary intoit, realize that heavy isn't
necessary, because we can bringthe heavy burden to the Lord who
makes the burden light.
SPEAKER_02 (20:12):
Wow.
So we can't earn anything.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Yeah.
Well, uh there is a moreinvolved conversation with that.
What I want to highlight, whichis what we were talking about
today, is the only possiblestarting point is to receive
worthiness as a gift.
A gift.
And so whether we look atwhether we can earn anything or
(20:39):
not, um that there's there's aquestion of merit in there, and
you're gonna run into differenttheological things.
By the way, this is part of whatI mean by when you're in your
head, your dead life doesn'tstart to in your heart.
My one encouragement to uh uhbelievers, those that are
interested in in even seeking,is to focus more on experience
(21:02):
and less on theology.
Theology is important work.
I got my books back here.
I love my book, so I love I lovetheology.
I am a theologian.
Theology is an important work,but more important than theology
is finding Christ in ourexperience and seeing what that
is.
Let him touch your spirit withthe gift of worthiness.
Test and verify for yourself howyour day goes differently when
(21:27):
you start by saying, Thank you,thank you, Father, that you sent
your son to die and rise for meand give me access to a new
identity.
Thank you for that, Father.
And now I want to breathe thatin and I want to say, Father,
send your spirit to show me whatit looks like to live that
(21:48):
identity out.
In my experience, when I livewhen I do a day like that,
buddy, it's a different day thanwhen I wake up and I say, Oh
man, I did it again.
Here I am, all bound up, showingall my weakness.
Notice I'm focusing on me inthat.
What I did wrong, how I failed,how I fell short, how I didn't
(22:09):
measure up, me, me, me, versusthank you, Father.
I wake up today, this is a giftfrom you, Father.
I'm focused on you and yourgoodness, your generosity, your
power, your love.
I woke up today, that's a gift,Father.
I got out of bed today, that's agift.
I showed up, that's a gift.
My heart's beating and my lungsare breathing.
(22:30):
I just want to get bang, bang,bang, bang, eyes to see the
blessings.
SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
That's awesome.
It's awesome.
SPEAKER_02 (22:39):
That's awesome.
It's not hard.
It's not hard until there yougo.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
There you go.
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
I'm gonna get I gotta meditate.
Don't say hard.
Don't say hard.
SPEAKER_01 (22:51):
Yeah.
You can you can say yes to thegrace.
I I received the revelation thateverything is easy.
SPEAKER_02 (22:59):
Now, Brad, as we wrap up here, what how would how
can my audience find you?
Uh are you are you taking clienttime?
Talk to me about how my audiencecan benefit from from your
organization.
SPEAKER_01 (23:13):
Sure.
Thank you.
Thank you for that, buddy.
And the I have a website.
It's called mission1249.com.
I'm gonna crack the code foryou.
1249 is from the Gospel of Luke,chapter 12, verse 49.
I don't know if we ever talkedabout that, buddy.
So that's where those numberscome from.
1249, Gospel of Luke, chapterchapter 12, verse 49.
(23:34):
Jesus says, I came to set theearth on fire in high, I wish it
was already blazing.
So this is my passion is toawaken in people's hearts that
that yeah, tenderized hearts andsensitize spirits in order to
recognize the presence of Christthat's all around.
So mission 12491Word.com, andthere's tons of free teaching on
(23:56):
there.
You can get complimentarysessions on there and yeah, and
explore.
SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
So mission 1249.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
Yep, one two four nine, mission 1249.
SPEAKER_02 (24:08):
And folks, I'm gonna put that down in the meeting
notes.com.
And are you available?
Are you still taking clients on?
SPEAKER_01 (24:15):
Yes, I am.
In fact, I'm getting ready witha brand new calendar for 2026.
So get get in, sign up now, getyour spot.
SPEAKER_02 (24:22):
Awesome.
I love it.
And those sessions, what do wehave?
Half hour sessions, Brian?
SPEAKER_01 (24:27):
Yep, 30-minute sessions on Zoom.
And then afterwards, I send afive-minute audio summary of the
highlights because oftentimes,you know, you'll start a
session, you'll be in one place,and then you'll end the session,
be like, wow, I feel great now.
And then an hour later, you'llbe like, What did we talk about?
So you get that five-minutehighlight reel that I'll send
(24:47):
fresh from from each session.
SPEAKER_02 (24:49):
By the way, that's a when I receive that, I played it
for my wife.
She was like, He does that?
Like, who does that?
So that is an incredible valueadd.
I don't know how you do it.
I don't know how you'reefficient.
Uh, it doesn't matter.
All I know is the result isincredible.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
How do we do those um five minute holy spirit?
SPEAKER_02 (25:08):
There you go.
It's not hard.
It's not hard.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
That's right.
Everything's easy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:13):
So I just you know, I never told you, but I love
those recordings that I receiveat the end.
It's pretty, pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, so thanks for that.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for going a little bitextra a mile there.
I appreciate that.
Excellent.
All right, Brian.
Listen, thank you.
Appreciate you joining the Buddyfor Junior show.
And we're gonna have you onagain.
And appreciate you joining lastminute.
We had a call today.
(25:34):
You're in Ireland, by the way,on vacation.
SPEAKER_00 (25:36):
That's right.
SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
We had a call today, and you accepted the invitation,
received it today to help meunpack.
SPEAKER_00 (25:44):
It's always the right time to follow.
It's always the right time tofollow.
SPEAKER_02 (25:48):
I love it.
Thank you, bro.
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
Yeah, thank you, buddy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
Welcome.
I can't listen.
God bless.
We'll see you next week.
Don't take the bait.
Don't take like I took it thisweek.
Don't take the bait.
Welcome.
Welcome to the Body Ford Juniorshow.
I'm excited today.
I've got a guest joining us.
So I've had my spiritualdirector joining me today, Brian
Metzger.
He is a former monk for 21 yearsin a monastery.
Did I get that right, Brian?
SPEAKER_00 (00:40):
You got that right.
SPEAKER_02 (00:42):
And so, Brian, before I have you jump in real
quick and share a little bitabout your background, I want to
share with the audience whattriggered today's events that
you're joining me.
And today, I do a call once aweek with Brian.
And we always start the callwith what was the greatness of
God this week?
(01:02):
And today I paused.
I was like, I'm alive.
And Brian called him thatimmediately, you know, pulling
over his eyes.
And he's like, What's going on?
Let's unpack it.
And the bottom of mine is Iduring the conversation with
him.
I had said, I don't even feelworthy to do a podcast this week
because I had such a terribleweekend and the devil got me.
(01:24):
And my wife and I got real funnyand I just I didn't handle it
well.
I didn't handle it like abiblical man should.
And it messed me up.
And Brian and I unpacked that.
And then in the middle of it, weboth had this idea.
Why don't we do a podcasttogether today to unpack exactly
that?
How we feel shame and unpack ourworthiness.
(01:46):
Is that fair, Brian?
SPEAKER_01 (01:48):
Yep.
Thank you.
Well, first of all, buddy, thankyou for the invitation to be on
the pod podcast, and thank youfor the introduction.
So, and and then I'm happy tojump in wherever you where you
want to get uh oh no you'releaving today, bro.
SPEAKER_02 (02:01):
You're leaving today.
I am I am I am out of my cup isoverfloweth with nonsense.
Quick for context, what do youdo?
Uh how did we meet and what'syour background in your words?
In your world.
SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
Yeah, sure.
I was I was a monk, as you said.
I was a monk for 21 years.
I was a Franciscan monk, and Igot permission.
I didn't go AWL.
I got permission to leave themonastery in 2019.
And the the reason I left was sothat I could get married.
And I love being a monk, and Ilove being married.
If I could do both, I would doboth, but that's not an option.
(02:39):
You can take the monk out of themonastery, but you can't take
the monk out of the man.
My wife knows that she married amonk, and so I love that one.
Yeah.
And so for me, since I left themonastery, I believe that the
wisdom of the monastery isn'tjust for the monastery, it's for
everybody.
And so I began my ownevangelization company and
spiritual direction company, andthat's how you and I began
(02:59):
working together doing spiritualdirection on weekly meetings.
SPEAKER_02 (03:02):
How old were you when you went into the
monastery?
24 years old.
It's amazing.
What what made what triggeredthat decision at 24?
SPEAKER_01 (03:11):
I graduated from Penn State University in 1995,
and I had my degree inaccounting.
I was working as an accountantfor two years, and I had this,
yeah, exactly.
And I had this sense that I thatI needed something.
I had made all the safedecisions, you know, to go to
university, to get the degree inaccounting, to get a job in
(03:32):
accounting.
And I just realized I needed arisk, I needed adventure, I
needed something that was deeperand more meaningful.
And then I started reading thesespiritual books and I was
reading about different types ofmonks, and then I met some
monks.
And at first I thought, like,where do you guys live?
And I expected them to say, youknow, the mountains of Colorado
or something like that.
Yeah, so I expected to go tosome beautiful location.
(03:55):
They're like, we live in NewYork City.
And so eventually I went and I Ivisited them in New York and
discerned to join.
I quit my job, sold my car, cutup my credit card, moved to New
York City to live in some of theneighborhoods that had the
greatest need.
That's what we wanted to be alight in the darkness.
We wanted to be good news forpeople and families and
(04:18):
communities that were indesperate need of good news.
SPEAKER_02 (04:21):
Now, can you help my audience understand why our
start of the day is around thegreatness of God?
Can we unpack that real quickand then we'll get into what we
talked about today?
SPEAKER_01 (04:33):
Yeah, sure.
But one of the reasons that webegin with the greatness is the
foundational proposal, thebuilding block of all of our
spiritual directionconversations.
We're asking this question, thisproposal.
Catch yourself in the act ofbeing generated and know that
that's the presence of Jesus inyour life.
(04:54):
And now I realize that thatneeds a little bit of expansion
straight away, but this momentof being generated, to be
generated, any moment where youfind something beautiful,
meaningful, moving.
So this is this is my proposalof what the gospel is is God
(05:14):
always goes first.
The divine initiative, God isalready at work in your life.
No matter how far from God youfeel, no matter how far from the
church you feel, no matter howfar you feel that you f may have
fallen, or or or even how closeyou are to God, the divine
initiative, God always goesfirst.
And we're and He is engagingwith us each and every day.
(05:38):
And so that catch yourself inthe act of being generated is if
I were to take a moment tobecome aware of God's presence,
where is God showing up in mylife?
And then I call those moments,those are moments of greatness.
And so every call we begin, wewe like what's the greatness
that you want to open with?
And if I could extend that justone more moment with it, buddy,
(06:01):
as well.
We talked in when we first begantogether, we said that you don't
have to try to be spiritual, youare spiritual.
God created us spiritual, thatit's natural to be supernatural.
We also identified thenegativity bias that it's 80%
easier to pay attention towhat's wrong rather than what's
right.
It's 80% easier to focus on badnews rather than good news.
(06:24):
That's why the news has so muchbad news in it, because their
job is not to inform you, theirjob is not to educate you, their
job is to keep your attention.
It's just easier to do that withbad news.
And so part of being a discipleof Christ is disciplining
yourself to turn away fromwhat's wrong and toward what's
right.
(06:44):
So that greatness at thebeginning of the call, that's
what I'm asking.
And this week, what's what's amoment of greatness where you
saw God, where you heard God,where you felt God in one of
those moments of beinggenerated?
SPEAKER_02 (06:56):
I want, like we talked about you getting
involved with my daughter andbecoming her spiritual director,
which I'm working on.
Because I would love to changeeveryone's mind to start
thinking positive.
And obviously, I want to startmy own house.
So I just love it because you'vehelped me, you've helped me
leave set start my day off orbut or say, wait a minute,
(07:16):
what's the greatness of Godhere?
Buddy, let's we let's let's flowour roll.
Unfortunately, it doesn't workall the time yet for me.
For example, what happened thisweekend where I lost my cool.
I just feel right, I feel shame.
And we talked about that whenwe'll roll into that.
Maybe we should pivot into that.
But uh, I think it's a greatpractice.
It's helped me tremendously.
We've been we've been talkingfor, we've been doing this for
(07:38):
what, four, five months, fourmonths?
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (07:41):
Yep, yep.
So it's been great for me.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (07:44):
Yeah, thank thank you, buddy.
The and you know, I seespiritual direction as the
combination.
It's uh, you know, I'm I'mtrained in performance coaching,
in counseling.
And while uh you can see it as atype of uh non-traditional
therapy.
So while it's not traditionaltherapy, it is therapeutic and
(08:04):
it's healing.
And all of this framed underthat umbrella of spiritual
direction.
Uh a powerful God is doing apowerful thing in a powerful
way, and we want to get in touchwith that all the time.
Yeah, amen.
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
Right?
SPEAKER_01 (08:19):
Yeah, that's right.
At all times, at all times.
SPEAKER_02 (08:24):
All right, so today we start off the call, and then
we you immediately went intohelping me understand
worthiness.
Can we unpack can we unpack thatand pivot to that conversation
here?
SPEAKER_01 (08:36):
I I if you don't mind me repeating it, I heard
you say the line.
I I don't feel worthy to do thepodcast now.
Um, and because of what you'dshared that was going on and
that with this past week, and Izeroed right in on that.
I said, What if the onlypossible starting point is to
(08:58):
receive worthiness as a gift?
And any version of the storywhere we try to start somewhere
other than worthiness as a giftis gonna wind us up in some
version of trying harder to bebetter.
Some, you know, one of my one ofmy favorite lines is that the
(09:19):
gospel is not CVT.
The the gospel is not behaviormanagement, the gospel is
character transformation.
So that version where we have totry to do something so that we
can be worthy, that is probablythe most significant false
gospel, the most significantanti-gospel that's out there
(09:40):
right now is yeah, try harder tobe better, try harder to be more
worthy.
SPEAKER_02 (09:47):
Does that mean we don't have to be better or good?
We just do whatever we want, andas long as we accept Jesus
Christ, like how does that workas a Christian?
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
So the way I would frame that is the way we know
what it means to be a discipleis but to look at the pages of
the gospel and to look at thelives of the first disciples.
The lives of the firstdisciples, their pattern of
discipleship will be our patternof discipleship.
That's how we know whatdiscipleship is.
And every one of the disciples'journeys begins with an
(10:18):
encounter.
And so you have that day whereJesus came along and asked uh
Peter and uh Peter and Andrew,and then he invited James and
John.
He said, Come follow me.
And the I like the James andJohn because James and John,
they're mending their fishingnets, if you remember the story.
I do.
They're sitting in the boats,they're mending the fishing
(10:38):
nets.
And I love to consider the factthat when they're mending their
fishing nets, are they lookingup or are they looking down?
SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
They're looking down.
SPEAKER_01 (10:46):
They're looking down, and they're and the
fishing net then representshuman effort, human endeavor,
which is always in need ofmending because it's always
falling short.
So they're looking down, they'renot paying attention to the
realities in front of them.
And then something happens, theylift their gaze, and
instantaneously they come intoan encounter with Christ.
(11:09):
So this call, come follow me,they're taken out of the world,
you know, made by human hands,and they're brought into the
divine adventure of beinginvited to follow Jesus.
And so if you look at thoseearly disciples, Peter and
Andrew, James and John, theydidn't leave that day making a
(11:31):
decision to be better men.
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
Right.
That's a good point.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
They left that day making a decision to follow
Jesus.
So it's through that recognizingthe gift of the encounter and
saying yes to following, that'swhere character transformation
takes place.
So rather than behaviormodification, the gospel is
character transformation.
Behavior modification, that'sthe version where we're trying
(11:58):
harder to be better, tryingharder to do what we think we're
supposed to do, trying harder tolive up to other people's
expectations.
Every imaginary version oftrying harder is in the in the
gospel is behavior modification.
However, what we see on the pageof the gospel is character
transformation through encounterwith the person of Jesus.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
They're a fisherman, right?
They're they're fishermen arerough and tough dudes.
SPEAKER_00 (12:27):
Yeah, that's right.
SPEAKER_02 (12:28):
Right?
Right.
So you know, they're probablycursing as they're doing the
nets.
And then all of a sudden they'rein a presence of greatness.
SPEAKER_01 (12:39):
Yeah, I mean, the we're we're getting ready as
we're recording this.
We're not far off of uh off ofChristmas.
And one of the stories is of theshepherds.
And while the while thefishermen probably had a
slightly higher status than theshepherds, they're still the
bottom rung of society.
They're the furthest from thecenter, they're they're the
(12:59):
furthest from the power.
And here these guys, these menare these shepherds, these
fishermen on the fringes.
And now there's this man who hasthis presence who looks at them
and calls them by name, seesthem.
And uh one of the, one of the,you know, this this proposal
that, you know, I made it toyou, buddy.
(13:21):
I've been testing and verifyingit now for uh more than a
decade, and we can make it toour audience, anybody who who's
willing to test and verify this,catch yourself in the act of
being generated and know thatthat's the presence of Jesus.
Don't believe it's Jesus becausewe say it, don't believe it's
Jesus because you want tobelieve it's Jesus.
But while you're in that momentuh being generated, something's
(13:44):
beautiful, something'smeaningful, just like when they
lifted up their heads from thenets, they became aware of, they
became aware of a presencethat's aware of them.
Wow.
So in those moments, we caninteriorly make a two millimeter
shift and you know, God, is thatyou?
Jesus, is that your presence?
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
That's so one of the most amazing things that I've
learned in the last five yearsas I'm around people who've been
in a word for a very long time,20 plus years or their whole
lives, is they they I'll be inconversations and I'll say, What
made you do that?
Oh, God told me.
And I just said, and I wouldlook at them go, you listened?
(14:28):
Like, you listen.
And as crazy as that sounds tothem when I ask that question,
it's as crazy as it sounds whenthey told me they did listen.
And it's amazing when I meetpeople that have been in the
word, that have studied theword, that have made the word
their life, so to say, for lackof a better way of explaining
it, they listen to God.
(14:50):
They they know how do you knowGod's talking to you?
Like how?
SPEAKER_01 (14:55):
Well, well, buddy, can I can I add to that?
So these are people, the peoplethat you're describing are
people who are are steeped inthe word.
Uh I I like the expression thatthey have their life in the word
and the word is alive in them.
When you are steeped in theword, the next piece of that
(15:16):
equation, buddy, is it has to beto find the word hidden in the
depths of the reality that's infront of me.
If it's just an academic study,then if you're in your head,
you're dead, life doesn't startto in your heart.
You have to get out of your headand into the reality that's in
front of you.
And that's where Jesus is alwayswaiting to encounter us, just
(15:38):
like he did Peter and Andrew,just like he did James and John.
SPEAKER_02 (15:42):
So, what advice do you give the listeners to help
them get?
You know, it's it's hard.
We're in the world, we'reworking, things are pulling us.
How do you how do you make thatyour default behavior?
Like what are the how do youwhat do you do?
Well, other than go join amonastery for 21 years.
When I first asked you, I'mlike, I need to go join a
monastery, I need it now.
SPEAKER_01 (16:03):
Yeah, awaken the inner monk.
The the okay, so the question ishow do you start to see?
So the oh, I want to I want tocircle back, but you said you
said it's hard.
SPEAKER_00 (16:18):
And so here's informed this.
Yeah, you love what I say it'shard.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
Yeah, hard is necessary until we realize that
hard isn't necessary.
And here's the crazy part peoplesay Jesus never promised us it
was gonna be easy.
Yes, he did.
The Gospel of Matthew, chapter11, verse 28, Jesus says, My
yoke is easy and my burden islight.
(16:43):
By the way, that language ofyoke, and yes, it's
metaphorically, the ox takes theyoke and plows the field.
That's true, but it's more thanthat.
That Jesus is that's rabbiniclanguage.
Every rabbi had his own yokethat he taught.
Well, there's there's more thatwe could say about that, but
(17:04):
what he's revealing is that heis a rabbi and he does have a
yoke to teach.
And of those yokes, uh, arabbi's yoke is what does he
bind you to of the law and whatdoes he loose you from?
So binding and loosing in yokelanguage, that's all rabbinic
language.
So Jesus is a rabbi.
That's not always clear, and noteverybody's comfortable with
(17:25):
that, but Jesus is a rabbi andhe has a yoke, and he's telling
you when it comes to what hebinds you to and what he looses
you from, there are those rabbiswhose yokes are heavy.
This is not the proposal of thegospel.
This is good news.
My yoke is easy, and my burdenis light.
(17:46):
So Jesus does promise that.
And I remember the day that theLord convicted me with it,
because I was walking aroundcomplaining, saying it's not
easy, it's not easy.
And the Lord said to me, in myspirit, he said, My yoke is
easy.
Whose yoke are you carrying?
unknown (18:03):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (18:04):
So that burden right there, oftentimes we make up our
own version of what we thinkwe're supposed to be doing.
And we're not a rabbi likeJesus, Jesus who has an easy
yoke.
We're a rabbi like those thatJesus is saying that I'm not
that kind of rabbi.
We have a heavy yoke.
So hard is necessary until werealize that hard isn't
(18:26):
necessary.
And now Jesus does say, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me, you cannotbe my disciple.
And so on the day when heconvicted me, he said, My, you
know, I'm saying it's not easy,it's not easy.
I'm muttering to myself.
And uh, and Jesus convicts me,he says, My yoke is easy.
Whose yoke are you carrying?
Buddy, I I had the nerve to pushback against Jesus.
(18:50):
And I said, But you said thatunless you deny yourself, take
up your cross and follow me, Icannot be your disciple.
So I don't understand how thisfits together, Jesus.
And Jesus is great at answeringback.
So he he actually answered back.
And he said to me, the He said,everybody gets the cross.
(19:12):
The believer and thenon-believer both get the cross.
The fallen away and those thatare devout, they both get the
cross.
The atheist gets the cross, andand the person who's at church
every Sunday, who reads theBible every day.
We all get the cross.
What's being identified, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me, it's thefollow me we need to circle.
(19:34):
By the way, notice when I'mtalking about when I'm focusing
on me denying myself and takingup the cross, I'm focusing on
me.
And that's where my suffering iscoming from.
Me focusing on me.
But go back to the line, unlessyou deny yourself, take up your
cross and follow me.
That means Jesus speaking.
That's the me you want tofollow.
(19:55):
So we get we get Jesus.
And so when we bring those heavyburdens, you know, difficult is
necessary into it, realize thatdifficult isn't necessary.
Heavy, heavy is necessary intoit, realize that heavy isn't
necessary, because we can bringthe heavy burden to the Lord who
makes the burden light.
SPEAKER_02 (20:12):
Wow.
So we can't earn anything.
SPEAKER_01 (20:17):
Yeah.
Well, uh there is a moreinvolved conversation with that.
What I want to highlight, whichis what we were talking about
today, is the only possiblestarting point is to receive
worthiness as a gift.
A gift.
And so whether we look atwhether we can earn anything or
(20:39):
not, um that there's there's aquestion of merit in there, and
you're gonna run into differenttheological things.
By the way, this is part of whatI mean by when you're in your
head, your dead life doesn'tstart to in your heart.
My one encouragement to uh uhbelievers, those that are
interested in in even seeking,is to focus more on experience
(21:02):
and less on theology.
Theology is important work.
I got my books back here.
I love my book, so I love I lovetheology.
I am a theologian.
Theology is an important work,but more important than theology
is finding Christ in ourexperience and seeing what that
is.
Let him touch your spirit withthe gift of worthiness.
Test and verify for yourself howyour day goes differently when
(21:27):
you start by saying, Thank you,thank you, Father, that you sent
your son to die and rise for meand give me access to a new
identity.
Thank you for that, Father.
And now I want to breathe thatin and I want to say, Father,
send your spirit to show me whatit looks like to live that
(21:48):
identity out.
In my experience, when I livewhen I do a day like that,
buddy, it's a different day thanwhen I wake up and I say, Oh
man, I did it again.
Here I am, all bound up, showingall my weakness.
Notice I'm focusing on me inthat.
What I did wrong, how I failed,how I fell short, how I didn't
(22:09):
measure up, me, me, me, versusthank you, Father.
I wake up today, this is a giftfrom you, Father.
I'm focused on you and yourgoodness, your generosity, your
power, your love.
I woke up today, that's a gift,Father.
I got out of bed today, that's agift.
I showed up, that's a gift.
My heart's beating and my lungsare breathing.
(22:30):
I just want to get bang, bang,bang, bang, eyes to see the
blessings.
SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
That's awesome.
It's awesome.
SPEAKER_02 (22:39):
That's awesome.
It's not hard.
It's not hard until there yougo.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
There you go.
SPEAKER_02 (22:48):
I'm gonna get I gotta meditate.
Don't say hard.
Don't say hard.
SPEAKER_01 (22:51):
Yeah.
You can you can say yes to thegrace.
I I received the revelation thateverything is easy.
SPEAKER_02 (22:59):
Now, Brad, as we wrap up here, what how would how
can my audience find you?
Uh are you are you taking clienttime?
Talk to me about how my audiencecan benefit from from your
organization.
SPEAKER_01 (23:13):
Sure.
Thank you.
Thank you for that, buddy.
And the I have a website.
It's called mission1249.com.
I'm gonna crack the code foryou.
1249 is from the Gospel of Luke,chapter 12, verse 49.
I don't know if we ever talkedabout that, buddy.
So that's where those numberscome from.
1249, Gospel of Luke, chapterchapter 12, verse 49.
(23:34):
Jesus says, I came to set theearth on fire in high, I wish it
was already blazing.
So this is my passion is toawaken in people's hearts that
that yeah, tenderized hearts andsensitize spirits in order to
recognize the presence of Christthat's all around.
So mission 12491Word.com, andthere's tons of free teaching on
(23:56):
there.
You can get complimentarysessions on there and yeah, and
explore.
SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
So mission 1249.
SPEAKER_01 (24:05):
Yep, one two four nine, mission 1249.
SPEAKER_02 (24:08):
And folks, I'm gonna put that down in the meeting
notes.com.
And are you available?
Are you still taking clients on?
SPEAKER_01 (24:15):
Yes, I am.
In fact, I'm getting ready witha brand new calendar for 2026.
So get get in, sign up now, getyour spot.
SPEAKER_02 (24:22):
Awesome.
I love it.
And those sessions, what do wehave?
Half hour sessions, Brian?
SPEAKER_01 (24:27):
Yep, 30-minute sessions on Zoom.
And then afterwards, I send afive-minute audio summary of the
highlights because oftentimes,you know, you'll start a
session, you'll be in one place,and then you'll end the session,
be like, wow, I feel great now.
And then an hour later, you'llbe like, What did we talk about?
So you get that five-minutehighlight reel that I'll send
(24:47):
fresh from from each session.
SPEAKER_02 (24:49):
By the way, that's a when I receive that, I played it
for my wife.
She was like, He does that?
Like, who does that?
So that is an incredible valueadd.
I don't know how you do it.
I don't know how you'reefficient.
Uh, it doesn't matter.
All I know is the result isincredible.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
How do we do those um five minute holy spirit?
SPEAKER_02 (25:08):
There you go.
It's not hard.
It's not hard.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
That's right.
Everything's easy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:13):
So I just you know, I never told you, but I love
those recordings that I receiveat the end.
It's pretty, pretty cool.
Pretty cool.
Yeah, so thanks for that.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for going a little bitextra a mile there.
I appreciate that.
Excellent.
All right, Brian.
Listen, thank you.
Appreciate you joining the Buddyfor Junior show.
And we're gonna have you onagain.
And appreciate you joining lastminute.
We had a call today.
(25:34):
You're in Ireland, by the way,on vacation.
SPEAKER_00 (25:36):
That's right.
SPEAKER_02 (25:36):
We had a call today, and you accepted the invitation,
received it today to help meunpack.
SPEAKER_00 (25:44):
It's always the right time to follow.
It's always the right time tofollow.
SPEAKER_02 (25:48):
I love it.
Thank you, bro.
I appreciate it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:50):
Yeah, thank you, buddy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
Welcome.
I can't listen.
God bless.
We'll see you next week.
Don't take the bait.
Don't take like I took it thisweek.
Don't take the bait.
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