June 18, 2025 • 27 mins
Join me as we launch The Business of Becoming.
Join me as we begin this incredible journey together.
This episode is about the vow I made to myself at 15. The new vow I just made to myself this week. And how we can keep these vows to ourselves.
Because we have all made one. We have all vowed not to settle. We have all vowed to truly live. We have all vowed to dream big.
And then somewhere along the way we found all the reasons why we couldn't do that.
I so loved sharing this with you and I can't wait to come back each week to share more.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Hey friends, I am so incredibly excited to share this
new creation with you.
Welcome to the business ofbecoming.
This is so much more than apodcast.
These are transmissions to helpyou to come back to who you
(00:22):
really are.
In many ways, this is a podcastabout conscious business and
about the work that we do in theworld.
about the inner work.
It's also about thespirituality.
It's about the inner knowing.
This podcast isn'tone-dimensional because we
aren't either.
And so I'm just so excited to beable to share this journey with
(00:46):
you because I know that it'sgoing to be something really
beautiful.
And I know that I have so muchto share with you.
So where do we begin?
This first episode is called TheVow.
And it's called that becausethere was a vow that I made to
myself at 15 that I thinkmirrors the promises that we
(01:08):
make to ourselves, especially ata young age, to do things that
we love, to have impact in theworld.
And whether you've made apromise to yourself or you even
just thought that you wantedsomething more at 15 or at 60, I
know this is going to resonatewith you and I hope it can
(01:31):
inspire you to begin to do moreof that work in the world
because the business ofbecoming, doing something that
we truly love, doing the thingsthat we're meant to do is so
much more than just makingmoney.
It's about the things thatreally light us up, the things
(01:52):
that only we can do, the thingsthat only we can say, the things
that only we can create.
So when I was a teenager,bowling was the only sport that
I played.
There was no second, there wasno third, there was no other
(02:13):
alternative.
I was all in on bowling.
It was quite literally my lifeand my worth.
And so I played at multipleleagues, similar to like
baseball or soccer or othersports.
You can play in multipledifferent leagues.
You can play in travel leagues.
(02:35):
So I was doing all of thethings.
I was at the bowling alley forfive or six days a week.
And one of those days was aSunday night league with my
parents.
It sort of became a familyleague.
Most of the teams were families,which was just different because
most of the time you played withyour friends or maybe you got
(02:57):
together a team of people thatwere just really, really good
just because you could do that.
But Sunday was really focused onfamily.
So my parents were...
not nearly as good as I was.
Bowling came very naturally tome, and it didn't to them.
(03:18):
The Sunday night league wasreally just more about spending
time with me.
And so often I would take Sundaynight a little bit less
seriously than I would otherdays, especially the travel
leagues.
And sometimes the travel leaguehad already happened earlier
that Sunday, And I was tired.
(03:39):
I had already spent all daybowling and then I still had
this league to play in as well.
And so for better or for worse,I would relax a little bit more.
I wouldn't think about it somuch.
Sometimes I would even just betoo tired to think about it, to
overthink, to try too hard.
(04:00):
And my dad is the one who morethan anyone helped me with that
more than anyone my dad is thereason that i learned to be able
to share my feelings that ilearned to do the inner work he
(04:21):
was the one to really help mewith this at the beginning he
taught me these things from ayoung age my mom tried to as
well but for whatever reason wewere both a little bit more
stubborn we would butt heads AndI just wouldn't receive the
things that she had to say theright way.
(04:41):
But I would often receive whatmy dad had to say, even when it
was uncomfortable, even whenmaybe outwardly it didn't seem
like I cared or it didn't seemlike I was receiving the
message.
I was learning and I was growingbecause he was helping me
understand meaningful thingslike being grateful for the
(05:02):
moment.
accepting your performance thatday and not beating yourself up
or not shaming yourself if youfeel like what you did that day
wasn't good enough.
So this one particular Sundaynight, I don't remember exactly
how I was doing.
I think it was about average.
It wasn't really exciting, butit was fine.
(05:24):
And my dad was playing horribly.
And Yeah, absolutely.
(05:52):
all of the things for him to tryto score better or at least to
enjoy the night a little bitmore regardless of the score.
And he wasn't really listening.
He wasn't really caring for whatI had to say.
He was playing so horribly thatnight that if I'm being
(06:13):
completely honest, if it wereme, I also would have been
really frustrated with myself.
So Then we finish up and we'rewalking to the car.
And I'm kind of continuing totry to help.
I'm continuing to try to tellhim it's okay.
He'll do better next time.
And I don't remember the exactwords he said to me, but I
(06:43):
remember the feeling that itgave me.
He said something to the effectof, I just have to accept that
this was the best that I coulddo.
And for a moment, it seemed asif he was giving me a similar
message that he honestly evenstill to this day has to give
me, a message of patience and amessage of acceptance, knowing
(07:05):
that it's not worth beatingyourself up because maybe that
was the best that you could dotoday.
But that wasn't really what hemeant.
That wasn't really what thewords were implying this time.
What he was really saying was, Idon't feel good enough.
Maybe sometimes I get lucky.
Maybe sometimes you see meperform a little bit better, but
(07:33):
that's a fluke.
I'm not worthy of that.
This is the best that I can do.
And my entire world shatteredbecause between everything he
had been trying to help me with,And also my mom telling me,
since I was as young as I canremember, that I can do anything
(07:56):
that I put my mind to, I atleast thought they believed in
themselves to some extent.
We weren't wealthy.
They didn't finish college.
They didn't have a prestigiousjob.
There was nothing to make methink that they were crushing
it.
But at the same time, I didn'tthink that they were hiding so
(08:19):
much pain so much lack of worthand all of a sudden it just made
sense to me I could just seewhere him and my mom don't
believe in themselves and Icould also simultaneously see so
many other people around me thatfelt the same way most of the
(08:40):
people I had ever knownEspecially because I grew up in
the Southern United States.
I grew up in Louisiana.
That is not a place whereself-esteem is abundant.
That is not a place wherecourage and being different and
confidence is abundant.
And if it looks like it is,usually it's actually pretty
(09:00):
fake.
And that's not a knock on them.
It's just there's a lot ofgenerational things that have
caused that.
And a lot of people that havesettled into a certain way of
life and telling themselves it'swhat they want because it's so
much easier to tell yourselfthat story and to try to be okay
(09:24):
with less than it is to dreambig and than it is to not
settle.
And so...
All in this one moment, myentire world is shattering.
I'm realizing everyone issettling.
And my parents have given methis gift where I don't want to
settle.
I'm not even willing to settle.
(09:45):
I feel the desire to be aliveand to create a life that is
beautiful in my bones.
And I almost can't settle.
It seems impossible to me.
at 15 that I could settle.
And so I made a vow to myself atthat night.
(10:10):
I vowed literally that.
I vowed to never settle and Ivowed to figure out what it
means to truly live.
Whether that took me 10 years,whether that took me an entire
lifetime.
I vowed that by the time I gotto my deathbed, I would be able
(10:33):
to say that I truly lived.
Now in my head, that also meanthaving a gigantic impact on the
world and that meant all kindsof things related to what I
viewed as success at that point.
But I still knew even if all ofthose things didn't happen, I
(10:54):
would find the answers And Iwould make sure that I had truly
lived because that would be theonly thing that I would ever
truly regret is if I was at theend of my life and I had
realized that I never trulylived.
And so that's exactly what mywork is born out of.
(11:15):
That night, my entire lifechanged because All of a sudden,
I saw a mission.
I saw a purpose.
I saw a way of impacting theworld.
And I still to this day believethat so many people are settling
because we grow.
(11:38):
And then we find other ways tosettle without dreaming bigger.
And I'm not saying that thatmeans making millions of
dollars.
I'm not saying that that meansimpacting billions of people.
I'm not saying that that meanshaving 100 employees.
That's not it.
But we as entrepreneurs are someof the people who are settling
(12:04):
the most.
We took the time to leave behindsomething else, which probably
for every single one of us, weconsciously knew wasn't good for
us for one reason or another.
We didn't like the amount ofmoney.
We didn't like the environment.
We didn't like the lack ofcreativity.
(12:25):
We didn't like the lack ofinnovation.
We can name a hundred thingsthat we didn't like about
ourselves the corporateenvironment, and the old ways,
and yet we've still come to doso much of the same.
I know so many entrepreneursthat are not truly alive.
(12:46):
They're gravitating towardsthings they don't actually care
about.
They're still gravitatingtowards things that make money.
And if you are meant to besomeone teaching people how to
optimize their LinkedIn, thenthat's great.
(13:07):
Maybe that's a unique thing thatyou truly love and that you
actually want to be doing.
Maybe the way that you do it, noone else could ever do.
But social media optimization isa perfect example.
There are so many people outthere making money They've given
(13:29):
themselves more freedom in somany ways.
Closer to being financiallyfree, if not already financially
free.
Freedom of time.
They've done so much, yet theyhaven't gone very far with that.
Because do you truly feel likeyou're impacting people?
(13:50):
Are you truly living?
Are you truly excited by thework that you do?
Or are you subconsciously, maybeeven consciously scared of doing
something bigger because youdon't know what that looks like?
Maybe the big thing, the moneydoesn't make sense and you have
no clue where it's going to comefrom.
(14:12):
And I know exactly how thatfeels because I spent many years
settling.
I lost sight of these dreams andthis business experience and the
writing I'm doing and thispodcast for many years.
I was dreaming about thesethings probably more than ever
(14:35):
between 18 to 20.
And then between 20 and 28, Islowly lost myself more and
more.
I slowly settled more and more.
I slowly convinced myself that Iwasn't capable.
And then I couldn't do all ofthese amazing things.
And then I wasn't really thatunique.
And then I didn't have much of astory to tell.
(14:56):
I didn't have much wisdom toshare.
And I just became a shell ofmyself.
And I, at one point was not evenreally here.
(15:16):
If you were in my life betweencall it 25 and 28, if you didn't
experience a concert with me, ifyou weren't with me during a
(15:37):
live music experience, chancesare, you didn't know me at all
and i didn't even really knowmyself anymore i had hidden who
i really was and i'm not evenjust talking about me being
transgender i'm i'm just talkingabout like the life that was in
me and these big dreams and thewisdom and my unique gifts I hid
(16:01):
all of those things so deep downthat I couldn't understand that
they even existed anymore.
In my mind, they didn't.
In my mind, the things I feltwhen I was a teenager was just a
fluke.
(16:22):
And I was never meant to dreamthat big.
And I struggled financially forso many years that that alone
made me feel like I'm not goodenough.
The evidence the world isshowing me is a perfect
demonstration of how I'm notgood enough and I'm never going
(16:45):
to do any of the things that Iwas dreaming of.
So if you saw me within thosefew years, probably about 24 to
28, you likely didn't see me atall.
Because I wasn't there.
I may have been sitting next toyou, but I wasn't there.
(17:07):
I was trying to pretend to evenremotely enjoy my life.
But on the inside, I hatedmyself.
And I had immense shame for notdoing any of this work.
For not doing anything at all.
(17:29):
Starting a podcast, writing,posting on social media,
starting a business for notdoing any of the things that
were working towards my dreams.
I just constantly found morereasons to settle and I tried to
find reasons to be grateful.
My health insurance when I wasat JP Morgan was incredible,
(17:51):
especially because it would havepaid for some other surgeries
and things that I might want.
As a transgender woman, I waspaid pretty well.
I didn't really have much of aceiling on how I was paid
either.
I mean, there was a reasonablethreshold that you probably
weren't going to pass, but Iwasn't actually capped.
(18:15):
I only had to work from nine tofive because I worked within the
branch setting.
I couldn't.
work when i got home i didn'thave access to everything so i
at least to the extent that iallowed myself i had that
freedom i could go home and icould actually relax so if i
(18:38):
compare myself to what a lot ofother people have those few
years were actually amazingthey're things that it looks
like i should be grateful forBut I don't regret not being
grateful for them.
I don't regret following thatache inside of me because I used
(19:00):
to think that that ache for morewas just me being needy or just
me being ungrateful.
And yes, maybe there was a smallpart of that that was.
Maybe there was a small part ofme that was like, get me the
hell out.
I will not...
even try to be grateful for whatI have because this is not okay.
(19:23):
So sure, that part of me wasthere too, but there was always
a part of me that was trying tokeep this vow.
There was always a part of methat just wouldn't let go of
Sabrina, that wouldn't let go ofthe person that could really
make a difference.
And I have a feeling that youknow exactly how that feels.
(19:46):
I have a feeling there is a partof you that is still holding on
for something bigger, that isstill holding on for something
that you truly love, forsomething that's really
impactful because it's somethingonly that you uniquely can do.
(20:09):
I finally started to fulfillthat vow at 28.
Today is June 18th.
Just yesterday, June 17th, 2025,was the two-year anniversary of
me finding myself.
I was at a music festival whenit happened.
My whole realization of who I amand who I'm always becoming,
(20:34):
because it's not static either,and The belief that I could
dream again dropped in thatnight.
So since 28, I have started tofulfill that vow.
And coming back to that slowingdown, the universe has given me
(20:54):
so many signs lately to slowdown.
Until yesterday, I thought thatslowing down meant, hey, be
careful with launching somethingnew.
It's partially why I waited onthis podcast.
Hey, just go lay on the couchand just wait for the answers.
(21:15):
And I now realize that wasn't itat all.
The universe was trying to say,stop and smell the roses.
Because in some ways, I'm doingthat more than ever.
I'm enjoying my life more thanever.
But in many ways...
there's still so much more roomfor me to truly enjoy how far
(21:39):
I've come, what I'veaccomplished, who I've become,
who I'm still becoming, and theimpact that I'm already starting
to have by telling more of mystory.
So that's the new vow that Imade to myself.
(22:00):
Because I truly feel like theold one is complete.
I learned how to live.
I learned how to love myself.
I learned how to not settle.
My business and especially thispodcast is proof of that.
So now the new vow is that Idon't take the next decade, the
(22:25):
next 30 years, whatever it is,so seriously.
Because The last 15 years, I wasextremely critical of myself.
I was extremely harsh.
I found so many ways to tellmyself that I wasn't good
enough, to tell myself that Iwasn't ready, to tell myself
(22:48):
that there was so much more tobe done.
And don't get me wrong, there'salways more work to be done.
But when you've done the work,you also have to take time to
step back and really enjoy that.
And so that's what this nextversion of me does.
This next version of me is notonly truly living and finding
(23:16):
the answers and sharing thewisdom, but she's no longer
doing it from a place of what'sthe next thing I have to do?
What's the next move I have tomake in order to have bigger
impact.
She's doing things like thispodcast, not because I need to
have a million people listeningto it, but because I know that
(23:44):
this is such a beautiful spacefor me to share with you because
I know that when I speak, Idon't think about what I'm going
to say.
I have not spent 24 minutes withyou just now trying to craft a
very particular message.
Yes, I had decided what theepisode was going to be about
because starting with this vowtells you so much about me, so
(24:08):
much about what the podcast issupposed to be about, so much of
what my work is, and hopefullyit also inspires you to either
make or keep your own vow.
Because again, I think you'vealready made one.
I think there was a youngerversion of you that already
wanted something so much more.
(24:36):
So with that, I will leave youto reflect.
I'm planning on joining you hereweekly.
Because already, this was one ofthe most incredible things that
I've ever done.
(24:57):
I have loved the last 25 minuteslike no other.
It felt like it lasted fiveseconds.
And since the new version of meis stepping into that power, I
know that I have so much toshare with you.
(25:18):
So I hope...
you'll continue to join me hereeach week because we're going to
grow we're going to become thatnew version of ourselves and
then we're also going tocelebrate that and we're not
going to chase the next versionwe're not going to chase the
next piece of inner work andwe're going to fulfill those
(25:43):
vows we're going to do somereally incredible things because
Conscious business is what'sgoing to change the world.
We are the ones who will do workthat we're lit up by.
We are the ones that will dowork that will have real impact
because it's truly our own.
(26:05):
We are the ones who will havewealth because of the unique
things that we're doing andWe're going to use it for good.
We are the ones who are going tocreate the companies where the
employees are safe, where theycan show up authentically, where
they can become more of who theytruly are, where they can be
(26:27):
creative and innovative too.
That is going to change theworld.
Because when we put more of thewealth and the power and the
impact in the hands of those ofus that truly care, we are going
(26:47):
to make so much more of adifference than we could ever
imagine.
So again, thank you for joiningme.
Thank you for investing inyourself.
And if you do anything, please,this week, do one thing.
(27:13):
that's more vulnerable.
I don't want to say moreauthentic because sometimes we
hold on to what that means.
We hold on to who we think weare instead of who we're
becoming.
So let's do one thing thatpushes us over the edge this
week.
Let's do one thing that's morevulnerable than we would have
(27:36):
done before because the worlddeserves us showing up fully.
The world deserves thatvulnerability.
I will see you here again, and Ihope you have an amazing,
amazing rest of your week.
Hey friends, I am so incredibly excited to share this
new creation with you.
Welcome to the business ofbecoming.
This is so much more than apodcast.
These are transmissions to helpyou to come back to who you
(00:22):
really are.
In many ways, this is a podcastabout conscious business and
about the work that we do in theworld.
about the inner work.
It's also about thespirituality.
It's about the inner knowing.
This podcast isn'tone-dimensional because we
aren't either.
And so I'm just so excited to beable to share this journey with
(00:46):
you because I know that it'sgoing to be something really
beautiful.
And I know that I have so muchto share with you.
So where do we begin?
This first episode is called TheVow.
And it's called that becausethere was a vow that I made to
myself at 15 that I thinkmirrors the promises that we
(01:08):
make to ourselves, especially ata young age, to do things that
we love, to have impact in theworld.
And whether you've made apromise to yourself or you even
just thought that you wantedsomething more at 15 or at 60, I
know this is going to resonatewith you and I hope it can
(01:31):
inspire you to begin to do moreof that work in the world
because the business ofbecoming, doing something that
we truly love, doing the thingsthat we're meant to do is so
much more than just makingmoney.
It's about the things thatreally light us up, the things
(01:52):
that only we can do, the thingsthat only we can say, the things
that only we can create.
So when I was a teenager,bowling was the only sport that
I played.
There was no second, there wasno third, there was no other
(02:13):
alternative.
I was all in on bowling.
It was quite literally my lifeand my worth.
And so I played at multipleleagues, similar to like
baseball or soccer or othersports.
You can play in multipledifferent leagues.
You can play in travel leagues.
(02:35):
So I was doing all of thethings.
I was at the bowling alley forfive or six days a week.
And one of those days was aSunday night league with my
parents.
It sort of became a familyleague.
Most of the teams were families,which was just different because
most of the time you played withyour friends or maybe you got
(02:57):
together a team of people thatwere just really, really good
just because you could do that.
But Sunday was really focused onfamily.
So my parents were...
not nearly as good as I was.
Bowling came very naturally tome, and it didn't to them.
(03:18):
The Sunday night league wasreally just more about spending
time with me.
And so often I would take Sundaynight a little bit less
seriously than I would otherdays, especially the travel
leagues.
And sometimes the travel leaguehad already happened earlier
that Sunday, And I was tired.
(03:39):
I had already spent all daybowling and then I still had
this league to play in as well.
And so for better or for worse,I would relax a little bit more.
I wouldn't think about it somuch.
Sometimes I would even just betoo tired to think about it, to
overthink, to try too hard.
(04:00):
And my dad is the one who morethan anyone helped me with that
more than anyone my dad is thereason that i learned to be able
to share my feelings that ilearned to do the inner work he
(04:21):
was the one to really help mewith this at the beginning he
taught me these things from ayoung age my mom tried to as
well but for whatever reason wewere both a little bit more
stubborn we would butt heads AndI just wouldn't receive the
things that she had to say theright way.
(04:41):
But I would often receive whatmy dad had to say, even when it
was uncomfortable, even whenmaybe outwardly it didn't seem
like I cared or it didn't seemlike I was receiving the
message.
I was learning and I was growingbecause he was helping me
understand meaningful thingslike being grateful for the
(05:02):
moment.
accepting your performance thatday and not beating yourself up
or not shaming yourself if youfeel like what you did that day
wasn't good enough.
So this one particular Sundaynight, I don't remember exactly
how I was doing.
I think it was about average.
It wasn't really exciting, butit was fine.
(05:24):
And my dad was playing horribly.
And Yeah, absolutely.
(05:52):
all of the things for him to tryto score better or at least to
enjoy the night a little bitmore regardless of the score.
And he wasn't really listening.
He wasn't really caring for whatI had to say.
He was playing so horribly thatnight that if I'm being
(06:13):
completely honest, if it wereme, I also would have been
really frustrated with myself.
So Then we finish up and we'rewalking to the car.
And I'm kind of continuing totry to help.
I'm continuing to try to tellhim it's okay.
He'll do better next time.
And I don't remember the exactwords he said to me, but I
(06:43):
remember the feeling that itgave me.
He said something to the effectof, I just have to accept that
this was the best that I coulddo.
And for a moment, it seemed asif he was giving me a similar
message that he honestly evenstill to this day has to give
me, a message of patience and amessage of acceptance, knowing
(07:05):
that it's not worth beatingyourself up because maybe that
was the best that you could dotoday.
But that wasn't really what hemeant.
That wasn't really what thewords were implying this time.
What he was really saying was, Idon't feel good enough.
Maybe sometimes I get lucky.
Maybe sometimes you see meperform a little bit better, but
(07:33):
that's a fluke.
I'm not worthy of that.
This is the best that I can do.
And my entire world shatteredbecause between everything he
had been trying to help me with,And also my mom telling me,
since I was as young as I canremember, that I can do anything
(07:56):
that I put my mind to, I atleast thought they believed in
themselves to some extent.
We weren't wealthy.
They didn't finish college.
They didn't have a prestigiousjob.
There was nothing to make methink that they were crushing
it.
But at the same time, I didn'tthink that they were hiding so
(08:19):
much pain so much lack of worthand all of a sudden it just made
sense to me I could just seewhere him and my mom don't
believe in themselves and Icould also simultaneously see so
many other people around me thatfelt the same way most of the
(08:40):
people I had ever knownEspecially because I grew up in
the Southern United States.
I grew up in Louisiana.
That is not a place whereself-esteem is abundant.
That is not a place wherecourage and being different and
confidence is abundant.
And if it looks like it is,usually it's actually pretty
(09:00):
fake.
And that's not a knock on them.
It's just there's a lot ofgenerational things that have
caused that.
And a lot of people that havesettled into a certain way of
life and telling themselves it'swhat they want because it's so
much easier to tell yourselfthat story and to try to be okay
(09:24):
with less than it is to dreambig and than it is to not
settle.
And so...
All in this one moment, myentire world is shattering.
I'm realizing everyone issettling.
And my parents have given methis gift where I don't want to
settle.
I'm not even willing to settle.
(09:45):
I feel the desire to be aliveand to create a life that is
beautiful in my bones.
And I almost can't settle.
It seems impossible to me.
at 15 that I could settle.
And so I made a vow to myself atthat night.
(10:10):
I vowed literally that.
I vowed to never settle and Ivowed to figure out what it
means to truly live.
Whether that took me 10 years,whether that took me an entire
lifetime.
I vowed that by the time I gotto my deathbed, I would be able
(10:33):
to say that I truly lived.
Now in my head, that also meanthaving a gigantic impact on the
world and that meant all kindsof things related to what I
viewed as success at that point.
But I still knew even if all ofthose things didn't happen, I
(10:54):
would find the answers And Iwould make sure that I had truly
lived because that would be theonly thing that I would ever
truly regret is if I was at theend of my life and I had
realized that I never trulylived.
And so that's exactly what mywork is born out of.
(11:15):
That night, my entire lifechanged because All of a sudden,
I saw a mission.
I saw a purpose.
I saw a way of impacting theworld.
And I still to this day believethat so many people are settling
because we grow.
(11:38):
And then we find other ways tosettle without dreaming bigger.
And I'm not saying that thatmeans making millions of
dollars.
I'm not saying that that meansimpacting billions of people.
I'm not saying that that meanshaving 100 employees.
That's not it.
But we as entrepreneurs are someof the people who are settling
(12:04):
the most.
We took the time to leave behindsomething else, which probably
for every single one of us, weconsciously knew wasn't good for
us for one reason or another.
We didn't like the amount ofmoney.
We didn't like the environment.
We didn't like the lack ofcreativity.
(12:25):
We didn't like the lack ofinnovation.
We can name a hundred thingsthat we didn't like about
ourselves the corporateenvironment, and the old ways,
and yet we've still come to doso much of the same.
I know so many entrepreneursthat are not truly alive.
(12:46):
They're gravitating towardsthings they don't actually care
about.
They're still gravitatingtowards things that make money.
And if you are meant to besomeone teaching people how to
optimize their LinkedIn, thenthat's great.
(13:07):
Maybe that's a unique thing thatyou truly love and that you
actually want to be doing.
Maybe the way that you do it, noone else could ever do.
But social media optimization isa perfect example.
There are so many people outthere making money They've given
(13:29):
themselves more freedom in somany ways.
Closer to being financiallyfree, if not already financially
free.
Freedom of time.
They've done so much, yet theyhaven't gone very far with that.
Because do you truly feel likeyou're impacting people?
(13:50):
Are you truly living?
Are you truly excited by thework that you do?
Or are you subconsciously, maybeeven consciously scared of doing
something bigger because youdon't know what that looks like?
Maybe the big thing, the moneydoesn't make sense and you have
no clue where it's going to comefrom.
(14:12):
And I know exactly how thatfeels because I spent many years
settling.
I lost sight of these dreams andthis business experience and the
writing I'm doing and thispodcast for many years.
I was dreaming about thesethings probably more than ever
(14:35):
between 18 to 20.
And then between 20 and 28, Islowly lost myself more and
more.
I slowly settled more and more.
I slowly convinced myself that Iwasn't capable.
And then I couldn't do all ofthese amazing things.
And then I wasn't really thatunique.
And then I didn't have much of astory to tell.
(14:56):
I didn't have much wisdom toshare.
And I just became a shell ofmyself.
And I, at one point was not evenreally here.
(15:16):
If you were in my life betweencall it 25 and 28, if you didn't
experience a concert with me, ifyou weren't with me during a
(15:37):
live music experience, chancesare, you didn't know me at all
and i didn't even really knowmyself anymore i had hidden who
i really was and i'm not evenjust talking about me being
transgender i'm i'm just talkingabout like the life that was in
me and these big dreams and thewisdom and my unique gifts I hid
(16:01):
all of those things so deep downthat I couldn't understand that
they even existed anymore.
In my mind, they didn't.
In my mind, the things I feltwhen I was a teenager was just a
fluke.
(16:22):
And I was never meant to dreamthat big.
And I struggled financially forso many years that that alone
made me feel like I'm not goodenough.
The evidence the world isshowing me is a perfect
demonstration of how I'm notgood enough and I'm never going
(16:45):
to do any of the things that Iwas dreaming of.
So if you saw me within thosefew years, probably about 24 to
28, you likely didn't see me atall.
Because I wasn't there.
I may have been sitting next toyou, but I wasn't there.
(17:07):
I was trying to pretend to evenremotely enjoy my life.
But on the inside, I hatedmyself.
And I had immense shame for notdoing any of this work.
For not doing anything at all.
(17:29):
Starting a podcast, writing,posting on social media,
starting a business for notdoing any of the things that
were working towards my dreams.
I just constantly found morereasons to settle and I tried to
find reasons to be grateful.
My health insurance when I wasat JP Morgan was incredible,
(17:51):
especially because it would havepaid for some other surgeries
and things that I might want.
As a transgender woman, I waspaid pretty well.
I didn't really have much of aceiling on how I was paid
either.
I mean, there was a reasonablethreshold that you probably
weren't going to pass, but Iwasn't actually capped.
(18:15):
I only had to work from nine tofive because I worked within the
branch setting.
I couldn't.
work when i got home i didn'thave access to everything so i
at least to the extent that iallowed myself i had that
freedom i could go home and icould actually relax so if i
(18:38):
compare myself to what a lot ofother people have those few
years were actually amazingthey're things that it looks
like i should be grateful forBut I don't regret not being
grateful for them.
I don't regret following thatache inside of me because I used
(19:00):
to think that that ache for morewas just me being needy or just
me being ungrateful.
And yes, maybe there was a smallpart of that that was.
Maybe there was a small part ofme that was like, get me the
hell out.
I will not...
even try to be grateful for whatI have because this is not okay.
(19:23):
So sure, that part of me wasthere too, but there was always
a part of me that was trying tokeep this vow.
There was always a part of methat just wouldn't let go of
Sabrina, that wouldn't let go ofthe person that could really
make a difference.
And I have a feeling that youknow exactly how that feels.
(19:46):
I have a feeling there is a partof you that is still holding on
for something bigger, that isstill holding on for something
that you truly love, forsomething that's really
impactful because it's somethingonly that you uniquely can do.
(20:09):
I finally started to fulfillthat vow at 28.
Today is June 18th.
Just yesterday, June 17th, 2025,was the two-year anniversary of
me finding myself.
I was at a music festival whenit happened.
My whole realization of who I amand who I'm always becoming,
(20:34):
because it's not static either,and The belief that I could
dream again dropped in thatnight.
So since 28, I have started tofulfill that vow.
And coming back to that slowingdown, the universe has given me
(20:54):
so many signs lately to slowdown.
Until yesterday, I thought thatslowing down meant, hey, be
careful with launching somethingnew.
It's partially why I waited onthis podcast.
Hey, just go lay on the couchand just wait for the answers.
(21:15):
And I now realize that wasn't itat all.
The universe was trying to say,stop and smell the roses.
Because in some ways, I'm doingthat more than ever.
I'm enjoying my life more thanever.
But in many ways...
there's still so much more roomfor me to truly enjoy how far
(21:39):
I've come, what I'veaccomplished, who I've become,
who I'm still becoming, and theimpact that I'm already starting
to have by telling more of mystory.
So that's the new vow that Imade to myself.
(22:00):
Because I truly feel like theold one is complete.
I learned how to live.
I learned how to love myself.
I learned how to not settle.
My business and especially thispodcast is proof of that.
So now the new vow is that Idon't take the next decade, the
(22:25):
next 30 years, whatever it is,so seriously.
Because The last 15 years, I wasextremely critical of myself.
I was extremely harsh.
I found so many ways to tellmyself that I wasn't good
enough, to tell myself that Iwasn't ready, to tell myself
(22:48):
that there was so much more tobe done.
And don't get me wrong, there'salways more work to be done.
But when you've done the work,you also have to take time to
step back and really enjoy that.
And so that's what this nextversion of me does.
This next version of me is notonly truly living and finding
(23:16):
the answers and sharing thewisdom, but she's no longer
doing it from a place of what'sthe next thing I have to do?
What's the next move I have tomake in order to have bigger
impact.
She's doing things like thispodcast, not because I need to
have a million people listeningto it, but because I know that
(23:44):
this is such a beautiful spacefor me to share with you because
I know that when I speak, Idon't think about what I'm going
to say.
I have not spent 24 minutes withyou just now trying to craft a
very particular message.
Yes, I had decided what theepisode was going to be about
because starting with this vowtells you so much about me, so
(24:08):
much about what the podcast issupposed to be about, so much of
what my work is, and hopefullyit also inspires you to either
make or keep your own vow.
Because again, I think you'vealready made one.
I think there was a youngerversion of you that already
wanted something so much more.
(24:36):
So with that, I will leave youto reflect.
I'm planning on joining you hereweekly.
Because already, this was one ofthe most incredible things that
I've ever done.
(24:57):
I have loved the last 25 minuteslike no other.
It felt like it lasted fiveseconds.
And since the new version of meis stepping into that power, I
know that I have so much toshare with you.
(25:18):
So I hope...
you'll continue to join me hereeach week because we're going to
grow we're going to become thatnew version of ourselves and
then we're also going tocelebrate that and we're not
going to chase the next versionwe're not going to chase the
next piece of inner work andwe're going to fulfill those
(25:43):
vows we're going to do somereally incredible things because
Conscious business is what'sgoing to change the world.
We are the ones who will do workthat we're lit up by.
We are the ones that will dowork that will have real impact
because it's truly our own.
(26:05):
We are the ones who will havewealth because of the unique
things that we're doing andWe're going to use it for good.
We are the ones who are going tocreate the companies where the
employees are safe, where theycan show up authentically, where
they can become more of who theytruly are, where they can be
(26:27):
creative and innovative too.
That is going to change theworld.
Because when we put more of thewealth and the power and the
impact in the hands of those ofus that truly care, we are going
(26:47):
to make so much more of adifference than we could ever
imagine.
So again, thank you for joiningme.
Thank you for investing inyourself.
And if you do anything, please,this week, do one thing.
(27:13):
that's more vulnerable.
I don't want to say moreauthentic because sometimes we
hold on to what that means.
We hold on to who we think weare instead of who we're
becoming.
So let's do one thing thatpushes us over the edge this
week.
Let's do one thing that's morevulnerable than we would have
(27:36):
done before because the worlddeserves us showing up fully.
The world deserves thatvulnerability.
I will see you here again, and Ihope you have an amazing,
amazing rest of your week.
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