December 22, 2025 • 47 mins
(Trigger Warning: Mentions of S*xual Violence during this recording)
This episode is the last of 2025! It brings me great joy to invite former pin-up model and lead singer of Nylon Pink, who recently released her memoir, “Fetishized: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism, and Beauty,” to wrap up the final podcast episode of 2025.
Kaila recounts her experience as a former pin-up model in the early 2000s, within the import car world that was closely associated with the Asian American “AZN” culture. Think of Fast and the Furious, the souped-up 1998 Honda Civic.
Bio:
Kaila is an author based in Los Angeles. Her debut memoir, ‘Fetishized: A Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism, and Beauty,’ was published this past August with Penguin Random House’s Crown Publishing.
She is also a luxury travel, food, and culture writer and on-camera correspondent based in Los Angeles, who has written for The Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, Rolling Stone, Conde Nast Traveler, National Geographic, and more. She’s a certified PADI scuba diver, freediver, and mermaid.
Her former band, Nylon Pink, has toured in Australia: Melbourne and Sydney, played in Shanghai at the launch party for Havaianas in China, Costa Rica, played at the Hard Rock in Tokyo, Japan, Macau, China, and Penang, Malaysia.
Follow:
Instagram: kailayu
TikTok: kaila.yu
Website: www.kailayu.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Hey everyone, so welcome to the Mummy Chronicles podcast and my
name is Randy Kim and I'm joinedwith Kyla Yu.
And who is Kyla? She is an author based in Los
Angeles. Her debut memoir, Fetishize A
Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism and Beauty, was
published this past August with Penguin Random House's Crown
Publishing. She is also a luxury travel,
(00:26):
food and culture writer and on camera correspondent based in
Los Angeles and you have writtenfor the Los Angeles Times, the
New York Times, Rolling Stone, National Geographic and more.
You are certified a scuba diver,free diver and mermaid.
We love that. Her former band, Nylon Pink has
(00:46):
toured in Australia, both in Melbourne and Sydney, played in
Shanghai, at the launch party for Hawaiianas in China, Costa
Rica and play at the Hard Rock in Tokyo, Japan, Macau, China
and Malaysia. So I want to say thank you so
much for, you know, reaching outto me and sending me a copy of
Better Size. I really, really thought it was
(01:08):
such a great read. And, you know, I never really
heard too much about you only because even though I am like
that generation of Asian Americans, I'm in my early 40s
now. And the reason why I say that's
because I knew about the, the car culture, the import car
culture and the Azn culture that, you know, that that my
(01:32):
cousins were into doing. And, and it just never appealed
to me because I mean, I think itwas a closeted gay man from
living in the Midwest in the suburbs, in predominately white
spaces. And I felt kind of like very
disconnected. But I think over time, you know,
I would. And I did actually did see Fast
and Furious too. So.
(01:52):
But I will say that it was such an interesting time because when
I started hearing more about your works, like, it started
recalling up some certain memories of like, oh, wow, yeah,
this was what happened. This is what my cousin was into.
These are some of what my peers,my Asian peers went through.
And actually, one of my close friends, Kevin, was telling me
like he was, you know, fangirling over you because he
(02:16):
was a teenager. He had a souped up Honda Accord
and knew your work. So it's it's really interesting
to see how this book has come together.
And I want to take or get your reflections of this year and
celebrating the release of your memoir.
Yeah, it's been an amazing year.I think it's been a very
(02:38):
difficult year too. Like putting out a book is super
exciting and also really confronting.
So it was almost like some people just kept comparing it to
birthing a baby, which I don't know about.
But like there is like some postpartum feelings and
(02:59):
excitement and anticipation and all of that.
And then it's like totally different than what you
imagined. So, but it's overall been
amazing. Yeah, what does being an Asian
American woman mean to you now in 2025 than it did say 2000?
I can't even fathom being an Asian American today who gets K
(03:20):
pop on the radio and like K pop demon hunters dominating the
charts. It's like I keep saying over and
over, like my little high schoolself could never have imagined
that Asians would have taken over culture so much that like,
there are people who want to be Asian or want to go eat our food
(03:43):
and like look up to Asians a little bit.
Even so, I mean, there's still afar ways to go because there are
still people who don't feel thatway by Asians.
But the fact that we've made such exponential progress is
amazing. Yeah.
I think it's kind of interesting, especially from
like a East and Southeast Asian lens.
(04:06):
And I think the last, I don't know, like what you just alluded
to is that like, you know, back in my high school self, if I go
back to that time, it would havebeen just so shocking to, you
know, see K Pop to see the emergence of Bollywood, to see
(04:27):
like the different Asian representations of Western film.
And it's and also even the restaurants to like, you know,
me being a Vietnamese and Cambodian.
But there's like the idea of Vietnamese restaurants being
very popular in the suburbs was really a foreign concept, you
(04:49):
know, growing up. And I never thought that would
ever reach communities outside of my own.
And so it is kind of like jolting when you think about
that. And I'm curious about like,
maybe going further, like what have you observed of Asian
American women today and where they stand in our current
society versus what you've experienced as a young adult?
(05:12):
Well, I would just say for Asianfetishism specifically, it used
to be all these like horrible, creepiest, like 60 year old men
who were like super pale and kind of fat.
We're the ones that have Asian fetishes.
But like now it's like cool hipster guys and whatever.
(05:37):
So it becomes a little bit more confusing 'cause when it's like
a disgusting man who has a Asianfetish, you're like, EW.
But then when it's like a gorgeous man who has a Asian
fetish, you're like, oh, is thatmore allowable?
It's kind of the same thing. Like I'm looking on TikTok and
like there's all these beautifulwhite girls with like a Korean
(05:57):
man fetish now because of K pop.And like the Asian men are very
happy about it. You know, they are not at all
men. Men don't.
Men don't object to being fetishized, is what I'm
learning. Men celebrate being fetishized,
whereas women, well, women don'tsexualize men.
At least I don't sexualize the men the way men sexualize me, so
(06:22):
there is a different creepiness I think.
Yeah, because in some ways it kind of hits because as a gay
Asian man, I have seen like folkAsian men get fair sized by
older white men to, you know, hipster white men.
And so it's it's still somethingthat like even in that
(06:43):
community, it's still like a current reckoning at the moment.
Like, for me, I never was into, like, seeking out white men.
And because I just felt like I grew up in a predominantly white
community and living in Korea for three years, I saw a lot of
the Asian fetishization from like, white expat travellers,
(07:05):
you know, hooking up with Koreanwomen.
And I was just like, increasingly turned off to the
point where I need to be around in my own community.
And I didn't want to sound like I'm being insular from it, but
it just informed me like, yeah, I feel like I don't want to be
seen as an object of desire. And I wonder about what you
(07:27):
learned growing up about how youstart yourself as an Asian
woman. Because I think at the beginning
of reading your book, you talk about your father early on and
how he, you know, had a strict parenting ways.
And how did you think that actually began to inform the way
you view Asian men in your life?Yeah, I think in my family and
(07:52):
in some Asian families of that generation, the men were very
hands off, like the women did the child raising.
So my dad was just kind of a, hewas a very kind man, but he was
just kind of more introverted and we didn't have conversations
(08:13):
and he didn't tell me I was, he didn't compliment me.
That's, that's maybe an Asian parent thing overall.
But then I was watching TV and the Brady Bunch and there's all
these like loving American families.
And I'm not getting that. And I think from that point on,
I, I'm someone who particularly responds to like verbal
(08:35):
affirmation. And I was getting none of that
at home or from any male figuresanywhere.
So I felt this like kind of needfor male validation that I feel
like originated there and then just developed more and more
through media influences. And what and what enticed you to
(08:59):
enter into modeling in the import car world?
Like what was that conversation like with your family when you
start to build that interest? My family and I have never had a
conversation about that, I don'tthink.
I mean, I, they know what happened, but they've never like
verbally acknowledged it. I, I did not enter the import
(09:23):
scene specifically, but I, I know exactly the origins.
Point was that when I was growing up in high school, there
was absolutely no Asian representation whatsoever.
It certainly isn't like what it's like today where there's so
many actresses that I can't evenknow them all.
You knew all the actresses in inthe late 90s that were Asian and
(09:47):
I didn't see anybody who I aspired to be like as a young
girl. It was all blonde, blue eyed
white girls on TV. And then the Internet started
and then I discovered this Asianmodel named Sung Healy and she
was so beautiful, the most beautiful Asian woman I ever
saw. And everybody online, all these
(10:08):
men were calling her the most beautiful woman in the world.
All these non Asian and Asian men, just men, hordes of men.
And then she became my idol because I was so invisible in
high school. She was aspirational.
So I was a fan of her for probably like several years.
(10:28):
And then when I graduated and got to college, that's when I
decided to pursue pinup modeling, which is what she did.
She was a Playboy model. What was your relationship like
or your encounters with her like?
Because I know when they always say that never meet your role
models. I'm very curious about what that
interaction was like, you know, stepping into the world, but
(10:51):
also what other Asian women thatwere also going into that.
Yeah, I mean, I idolized her, soI was very scared the first time
I met her. But the first time I met her was
special because I had started pursuing pin up modeling and
then she I was a member of her website.
(11:11):
Back then models had pay websites.
I guess they're only fans now, but back then they had their own
websites with memberships and I was a member of her website for
many years. And so I knew immediately when
she started casting for outside models to feature on her
website. So the first time I met her was
after I had submitted my photos and she had booked me to shoot
(11:33):
for her website. And I was hoping she would take
me under her wing and just like,you know, nurture me in all the
ways I've been on. But she was very, she was nice,
you know, but very business likeand very not wanting to do
anything besides business. And I remember I asked her if
(11:56):
she would do a shoot with me because I had seen her do shoots
with other models in the past. And then she was like, no, I
don't do that. And apparently she hasn't done
it. Or maybe she just stopped doing
them. But yeah.
I think with the emergence of the Internet, I think this is
something, you know, I go back to like how do you think social
(12:17):
media played a role in how Asianwomen are being seen now?
Actually how they are being seenback in pre social media times,
like say before 20 O 5, which I think that's when Facebook and
Myspace started to emerge. But I'm I'm curious to see how
that has really started to play that role.
(12:38):
Well, I feel like when social media came out, it probably
really furthered the Asian fetish because then there was
like forums and like websites and things dedicated to Asian
women. And like maybe these individual
men who had Asian fetishes had no way to like communicate about
it in mass. But there are websites
specifically dedicated to just love of Asian women or whatever.
(13:01):
I think how social media has changed, it is now that places
like YouTube and like Instagram,Asian creators are coming on and
showing multifaceted versions ofthemselves.
So it's not just sexy Asian women, it's Asian women who are
fashion influencers, Asian womenwho cook, Asian women who are
(13:23):
lawyers. You know, like it's every kind
of Asian woman you can imagine in the world has a place on the
Internet where they can find their own niche.
So I would say that in 2025, there's much less excuse for
being the Asian fetish. I can understand in the 90s why
you might have an Asian fetish. The only media you had was
(13:44):
memories of a geisha, and that was super fetishy, right?
And like, what other examples could you see?
There were so few, but now that there's like so much Asian media
out there, there's no excuse to only see Asian women in that
way. Yeah, I think it really brings
back like I've been kind of going down like memory lane
(14:06):
because I'm because like the struggle of being Asian,
especially when you don't see representations of yourself,
feels incredibly isolating. Like I wanted to go into
journalism and I had a hard timeconvincing my own dad to buy
into this idea. And I know that to get out of
the the STEM field felt like it felt like it was not only your
(14:28):
parents disapproval, but it's also like getting into that
industry, trying to navigate anddeal with the stereotypes.
I wonder, like in this modellingworld, I wonder why does import?
Why does the import world seem so appealing to Asian men?
I'm curious about the origins from that if like just from your
(14:49):
own understanding. From my understanding, it's just
what I was doing, which was likefighting against the model
minority myth of the like unattractive nerdy Asian who is
obedient. Car culture is heavily
masculine, so it's like a way for Asian men to assert their
masculinity, not play into thosestereotypes.
(15:13):
And I don't think it was purposely, but in that way, it
also kind of objectified Asian women because women are always
objectified in male car cultures.
Whether it's low riders to like classic American cars, when you
go to these car shows, there's always sexy women standing in
front of the cars. But also another reason was that
(15:35):
we had no community back then, like no gathering place.
So the import scenes when hot import nights started and it
became not just a car show was also like B boys came to perform
and DJ's came. It was like this whole community
thing where it wasn't just cars,it was like a big party.
So then it was just a place for identity.
(15:58):
And I didn't ever try to go intothe import scene.
I just started modeling as a model and there was like not a
ton of Asian models. So the minute you start
modeling, the import scene's going to start calling you if
you're a Asian model. I wonder how it is now with that
world because I know that I havenot gone anywhere near it.
(16:19):
But I'm curious to know, like, what have you seen as far as
where does it stand now in today's culture and with the
Asian community? I mean, from what I hear, it's
nothing like it was before. Like I kind of call the era we
were in, which was about 10 years, the golden age of import
scene of the import scene. I think partially like Fast and
(16:40):
Furious series killed it becausethe import scene was a special
place for Asian people to gather.
And then when Fast and Furious became mainstream and like
import cars were no longer considered rice rockets, like
people like who weren't Asian were fixing them up.
Then they start to flood the carshows and then it was no longer
(17:03):
our cultural space anymore. So car shows still happen, but I
think they're not the same as they were before.
Often we don't think about what women models, sex workers go
through in the industry that is lead and dictated by men.
What have you observed in some of these environments that not
(17:24):
many know about, especially as an Asian woman?
Well, I would say the import scene was fine.
I don't think I ever encounteredanything terrible there.
But I think in pin up modeling, it's like rife with predators
who are trying to prey on very young women and coerce them to
(17:45):
do more than they're willing to do.
And I touch on it in my book just a little bit.
But there was like a huge case that's still being tried right
now. Girls do Porn is like this was
this really huge porn productioncompany that was big on Pornhub
(18:07):
and they trafficked and coerced like hundreds of women who were
college aged. They would booked them for a
modeling shoot, but when they showed up it was not a modeling
shoot. It was far more they'd like take
away their passports, threaten them and like force them to do
(18:29):
much more than modeling. And I guess the women who were
like 18 didn't know how to report it back then or nobody
paid attention. I think women did report it, but
nobody gave a shit until like dozens and dozens of them got
together for a class action, class action lawsuit.
(18:53):
But all those men in that ring have went to jail.
You know, the the ringleader wasjust captured like 5 or last
year maybe. And like they sued Pornhub
successfully for I think $100 million.
But this was happening and nobody could do anything about
it for decades. How were you able to navigate
(19:17):
the darkness of that world and mean like I think of Tia Tequila
and her crashed out the last 15 years, which is very tragic and
just perplexing. There's no words for that.
But I'm like wondering like how do you think this has like this
long term effect? And how have you been trying to
(19:37):
navigate and reconcile with thatpast history?
Yeah, I think writing a book wasa big part of it wasn't like,
not intended to be healing, but it was very healing, but tons of
therapy. I'm sober, so I spent 12 years
in like recovery with like 12 steps and all of that.
(19:59):
But it's been a lot of like specific work on that time.
And like, what do you think has been a credit to your survival
from that industry? Like, what do you think has kept
you going? Like like, like to just to like
survive that. To mixture of things like my
(20:20):
mom's like a tiger mom, so she taught me to persevere and push
hard. So there's that.
I was on a lot of drugs and alcohol so that helps numb a lot
of the feelings. And then when I got sober, I got
a whole community and like program of how to heal these
(20:42):
issues. So it's a combination of factors
really. Your band Nylon Pink came at a
time when seeing Asian diaspora artist was an outlier in the
western music industry and also clashed with the emergence of K
Pop. And how did this create
challenges for you as an artist and with your group mates?
(21:02):
Yeah, I mean, when we met with it was, it was interesting
because it I started a band and it wasn't Asian at 1st and then
we had a hard time booking any gigs.
And then when it was all Asian girls, then we started to book
niche gigs, you know. So we found a niche that allowed
us to tour the world. And then when we started
(21:24):
covering K Pop, that gave us even more.
I mean, it's just when K Pop wasbarely starting, but there was
still a niche audience for it. But what it the ceiling was that
when we got to like, talk to record labels, they had no idea
what to do with us because therewas no precedent and they didn't
really understand what we were or could be.
(21:49):
Yeah, like I think when I think of Asian American or Asian
diaspora artists these days, like Japanese breakfast, like
the. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which, you know, Karen knows been like the pioneer.
I didn't even know that she was Asian until.
Yeah, I, I don't count her as Asian because she didn't like
really market herself as Asian, right.
(22:10):
Like it was like, we didn't know.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I think that also like in a way plays into it because no one
knew about I think it was Eddie Van Halen or I think like he's
he's mixed tie. Oh.
Really. Yeah.
And I mean, no one would have known that too or and I think
that is like what we have seen with the music industry, how
(22:33):
it's starting to slowly evolve outside of the K pop.
If we're talking more like in the indie rock and Asian pop
scene, Asian American pop scene,I do see that it's starting to
like emerge a little bit there too.
And actually the other day I waslistening to your song Candy
Coated Sugar Sucks. And you know, hearing that song
reminded me of the that famous early 1980s song written by
(22:57):
Prince, Nasty Girl by Vanity 6. I wonder, like, was that song
kind of like inspired by Vanity 6IN a way?
Because I mean, why do you thinkof the lead singer or Vanity 6
herself? She talked about how that
industry, you know, being in that music industry in that
(23:17):
rock'n'roll world, like nearly destroyed her.
And then she went into church. And I'm curious about it just
feels very much like in, in a way aligned with some of your
experiences in some ways. What, what are your feelings now
when you look back on that song and some of your music that you
(23:37):
did as a solo artist and with Nylon Pink?
Yeah, I am a songwriter, but I did not write that song.
A producer named Embryo, who is brilliant, came to me and just
like, had that song written for me.
But the song was really based onthe beat.
Like, the beat was like a club banger.
(23:58):
So I can't like, take any whatever.
I can't think of the word. But he came up with, I don't
know his story about how he cameup with that, but I think he
pretty much probably just observed my Myspace image and
then wrote a song for me. And yeah, I, I, I do still like
(24:21):
that song because it's so catchyin a club, but it's not
authentic to me. Like I'm, I'm not like that
person who sings candy. Like that's not my real
personality. Yeah, you mentioned like being
performing as Nylon Pink, that there were many white male
audiences. And what do you how do you think
(24:43):
that really in a way affected your relationship with the band,
but also the direction of your music and the audience you want
to connect with? I mean, the really creepy part
is like, the majority of our fans were not older white men,
but there were older white men at our shows, which is very
strange because we were a pop rock act that appealed to young
(25:05):
people. So it was like, jarring to see
them there sometimes. And they didn't bother me
because they were not a fan of me.
They were a fan of my drummer who joined the band at 17 and
really looked 14 years old and didn't wear makeup.
Like, it was very creepy. They were all fans of her.
And mind you, my guitarist, KikiWango, is like a agency model,
(25:29):
you know, like, she's a beautiful woman.
But all these older men were there for the childlike drummer
girl, and she has. I wrote a chapter called Lolita
in my book Fetishized, and it kind of focuses on my
relationship with Jamie the drummer.
And she she's bisexual. But she said after her
(25:51):
experience in Nylon Pink, she was just turned off for men and
had PTSD. So she's married to a woman now
and very happily married. But I know that those
experiences affect her relationships with men or her
our views of men. Yeah, I think it's kind of
interesting because like, you know, you, you were an important
(26:12):
model for a number of years. And I was like wondering why
weren't like, why weren't white,older white men drawing towards
you? Or was it because the drummer
took so much attention, in a way?
Because I was older, you know. Like the?
Time in the band, I think I was like in my late 20s to early
(26:33):
30s, so I had by far aged out ofwhat they were looking for.
When they were fans of me. I was like 19/20/21.
So yeah, I was not in their target demographic anymore.
Yeah, I think it's interesting because of the age gap between
you and and your bandmate and your your drummer and like how
(26:54):
what was your relationship like with her during that time?
Because when you have an age gap, like, do you find yourself
being like a mentor or in a way in a mothering figure?
I think definitely at first, definitely at first.
But I, you know, was a differentperson back then.
And I started to actually kind of get jealous of her because
(27:16):
she was getting all this attention effortlessly because
she didn't even want the attention, frankly.
Like, she wasn't trying for it. She wasn't doing her makeup or
like she, she wasn't doing what I had to do at her age to get
attention. So I was very jealous of how she
(27:37):
seemed to effortlessly get the attention I so desperately
sought at her age. Where did the pivot begin for
you when you were transitioning out of both the modeling and
music world into writing? That was purely accidental.
I think I eventually quit the band because I realized that it
(28:00):
was making me miserable and I didn't think it was ever going
to get to the level of success that I wanted.
And I only fell into writing accidentally because when my we
quit the band and we had no backup plan because we we hadn't
planned anything. So my guitarist and I decided to
(28:23):
make our banned website into a travel blog because we travelled
the world and we had travel content and the website had
traffic. So we started like, travel
blogging and going on these trips.
And as bloggers and creators, you're hosted on media trips.
(28:43):
And on these media trips, I would meet journalists.
And then I just thought what they were doing was so cool and
so superior to blogging that I eventually, just like, learned
how to do journalism by taking classes and pitching classes and
just pitching. So yeah, journalism was very
accidental. It was really just motivated by
(29:04):
me wanting to go on better mediatrips originally.
What are you discovering about yourself as a writer and after
writing this book? Yeah, I think writing is the
most priceless thing in the world because it has no
dependence on your outside exterior.
And in the entertainment industry, you're like, as a
(29:25):
woman, a depreciating asset, unfortunately, with the way it's
set up right now and with writing, you can write till
you're 99, really, right? Like, it just doesn't matter.
So I'm so grateful to have accidentally found this thing
that I didn't enjoy writing verymuch at the beginning, but I
eventually fell in love with it,like after doing it for many
(29:46):
years. As a journalist now, I mean,
we've seen the emergence of AI and I wonder about how has that
in a way challenged our journalists right now as you
speak, especially with like the the unregulated issues with AI
(30:06):
and also how it has affected theway information is being carried
out and how it's been kind of like taking over the social
media landscape. I'm curious about your thoughts
on that now. Yeah, I mean, it's extremely
affecting journalism. Journalism was already crumbling
as it is, like it used to be built on print ads and then they
(30:31):
were trying to pivot to SEO traffic.
And now I don't know how that's going to work anymore because it
is. Are people going to go to
websites anymore Because they might just go to ChatGPT.
I don't know how people are going to have consume their
journalism. I think you're already seeing
like New York Times is having all its reporters now be talking
(30:54):
heads on social media cuz like, maybe that's how we're gonna
consume journalism. But yeah, it is a scary time to
be a journalist because all there's just layoffs constantly
at every, I mean, there was a huge layoff at La Times and
Forbes, like every, every outlayyou can hear of is having
layoffs like monthly. So I don't know what the
(31:19):
solution is. It's kind of like the music
industry has never recovered from streaming.
It's no longer as profitable as it was before.
But I think you just got out in this landscape, be able to pivot
and do different things. Like as a journalist, I have
heavily invested in social mediabecause I can't just depend on
(31:40):
my written work paying the bills.
What would you say or what kind of content do you put on social
media now and what is your relationship with it, with your
followers and people who stumbleupon your work?
Yeah, my social media since the pandemic has always been focused
on Asian American issues, the kind of female tilted, but a lot
(32:04):
of it's reminiscence of the 2000s Asian culture that I grew
up with. And a lot of people are just
feeling nostalgic about that time.
It was a simpler time, it seems,where we weren't as stressed out
about many issues that we're facing today.
But yeah, I think it's fun to connect with my audience and
(32:25):
kind of like reminisce about times and then talk about some
current issues also. How are people responding to
your memoirs so far, especially among Asian women?
Yeah, it's been an amazing response.
Like, part of the reason I wrotethe book was because how is
there not a memoir about fetishization of Asian women
(32:48):
when every single Asian woman here experiences it?
I think I was particularly suited to write it just because
I leaned into the fetish so muchmore heavily than the average
woman. But yeah, I think just a lot of
the feedback I've been getting is that Asian women feel seen
and they can really relate to things.
(33:10):
And then there was a lot I learned, 'cause my my memoir is
not just my story, it's a cultural criticism.
So I breakdown movies like Memoirs of a Geisha.
There's an entire chapter, dedicated memories of a geisha.
I go through historical facts oflike military occupation and how
that perpetuated the fetishization.
(33:31):
So as I was learning that, I putthat into my book and I think a
lot of people are learning thesefacts that I was shocked to
discover myself. What do you think was the most
surprising or one that really stood out to you in your
research, in your literary criticism, or in your in your
critical research in developing this memoir?
(33:55):
Yeah, I think a fact that was particularly shocking is that in
Memoirs of a Geisha, which is written by a white man, he says
he has the geisha. So you already say, oh, the
American soldiers were so much nicer than they portrayed them
to be. But like, the fact is that Japan
(34:19):
has a history of comfort women where they would capture, I
think mostly Korean women and have them as sex slaves for
their military where they'd haveto service like 100 men a day in
like horrifying conditions. It was rape, you know, really.
But the American soldiers were aware of this practice.
(34:42):
And then when the American occupation or when Japan fell in
World War 2 and the Americans were coming to Japan, Japan set
up a comfort station to accommodate these American
soldiers. So they wouldn't rape local
women, basically. And the prostitutes or not
(35:02):
prostitutes, the sex slaves thatwork there said that the sex
that they had was so ghastly andanimalistic.
And it reminds me of this thing where Filipino prostitutes,
because this happened in the Philippines during the Filipino
war, also said they were treatedlike an animal with three holes,
(35:25):
like they were just used in the most degrading of ways.
And then this comfort station had to be shut down for rampant
STD's. And then when they shut it down,
I forgot the figure exactly but the rapes, local rapes like went
up from 50 a day to 300 a day orsomething.
(35:46):
I don't know the exact statistics but it was something
like shocking. But these are like American
soldiers raping local women. Yeah, it's out.
So I'll go ahead. The other shocking part is like
this is still happening today. Like people are like why are you
talking about something that happened like 150 years ago or
whatever. But like in Okinawa there are
(36:07):
still a military occupation there and they are still raping
local women. Like there was 2 cases tried
this past year. Yeah, I mean, like, you know,
being from the Vietnam, from my parents, from the Vietnam
generation, like we like hear stories about what happened with
the melee massacre. And I mean, reading about that
(36:27):
was just incredibly hard. I.
Don't even know about this. That was that was like about 50
plus years ago. And I think the Long story short
is that the American soldiers attacked a town like in central
Vietnam and they were sexually assaulting the women and
murdered most of the women and children in that town.
Only a few did survive. And there's like 1, I think
(36:50):
American soldier that I think there's like maybe one or two
American soldiers that somehow was able to hide some of the
other women. And it was incredibly upsetting.
I mean, there was this photo andI'll never forget that as a, as
a, as a teenage, as a teenage girl trying to like put, trying
to put her mom's clothes on, like, you know, and the kids and
(37:12):
it was just, and they were in this moment of, of shock and
terror. And I think that's a picture
that has never escaped me, you know, to this day.
And I think, and I think about what militarization does.
I mean, you see what's going on with Palestine and you hear
these stories of women and it just continues to go on.
(37:35):
And yeah, I mean, I think it's something that it's something
that I don't think we'll ever beable to understand in our
lifetime because it's so shocking and so horrifying and
to kind of like, maybe pivot. But in writing this memoir and
(37:57):
sharing it with audiences, do you find it it difficult to hold
space when you know readers willcome up to you and share their
own trauma? Because I have read about
Michelle Zoner's experience after writing Crank and HMR that
she will get people coming to her and sharing their trauma.
How do you handle like the stories from folks or how do you
(38:19):
receive that? That's a good question.
I don't know if I have an issue of it because I've spent years
in recovery. And when you're in recovery, you
sponsor other women and other women tell you the worst things
that happened to them, and you hold space for it and are not
(38:41):
affected by it somehow. Yeah, I've never considered
that. I guess it's because it's like
I'm just here to hear and witness you, but it doesn't mean
I need to take it on, you know? So I think because of my years
with that, I'm particularly already used to that, I guess,
(39:06):
hearing other people's traumaticstories, yeah.
Do you find folks from your pastlike after being a member, like
come up to you like whether it'sin the modeling world or as fans
of your music? And do you also like run into
like folks that are into or currently into the modeling
(39:28):
world? And I wonder about what that how
they have they connected with your memoir?
Yeah, I definitely think people who followed me in the past in
the 2000s have been giving a lotof feedback, like they had no
idea this was going on because it all seems so happy and
glamorous. And that's interesting.
(39:49):
I haven't spoken to as many who are currently pursuing pin up
modelling. I I feel like there's just far
less agents doing that these days.
But yeah, I I haven't heard backfrom like, say, an current
import model and her feedback ofthe book.
Yeah, I think what's so interesting is because where
(40:11):
this is going, I mean, like TikTok and Instagram and like
social media has like created somany different content creators
and it's a very like it's a veryoverwhelming world because
you're constantly creating, producing content and you don't
necessarily have the full production that like a studio
(40:32):
would have. I mean, I mean, unless you are,
unless you have enough followersand you unless you get enough
money coming in, it is a very challenging hustle grind to be
doing that work. If you were to be your 17 year
old self or 18 year old self nowin this culture, in this world,
how do you think you would have navigated?
(40:55):
It wouldn't have been good for me, I don't think, because when
I was 17 and 18, I had such low self esteem and desperate need
for validation. It it's tough.
I can't even imagine growing up with social media because
there's like all these pitfalls that we didn't have to deal
with. I didn't have to deal with like
young men or like elementary school boys asking me to sex
(41:19):
them photos. Like that wasn't a thing.
And how do you know at like 12 years old that's going to follow
you for the rest of your life orhaving to grow up in elementary
school or high school and compete on Instagram and have
that, you know, I, I don't know the easy.
I just OK, so I guess I wish what kids were taught was like
(41:44):
how to love themselves because we're all still in such a
culture where we learn from outside or where we're still,
everybody's desperate for outside validation, likes, views
and all of that. A book that I've been reading
recently and recommending to everyone is called Love
yourself. Like your life depends on it.
And it's literally about reprogramming yourself to love
(42:08):
yourself. So if everyone can come at the
world where they love themselves1st and then, you know, interact
in this world. Like we're in a time where we
desperately need compassion outside of social media, just
like, say, the administration, you know?
So if that was something we wereall taught, it would be a
(42:31):
different world. And what projects are you
working on and what are you looking to do in 2026?
Yeah, I am still touring the books.
So we're really like doing a lotof colleges and getting it added
to curriculum and all of that and also a second book idea and
(42:52):
then also possibly bringing it to film and TV.
So a lot of things in the works.That's a good question.
That is exactly what I'm trying to figure out.
It's not immediately obvious because like I know I'm writing
a second book and I've been brainstorming many ideas, but
(43:15):
like fetish rights came about because that book didn't exist.
So I don't know what other book that I could write uniquely that
doesn't exist. We're toying around with some
like food ideas because I'm a traveling food writer, but that
is a heavily trafficked space. What's your favorite place to
(43:37):
travel for food around that? Well I'm biased because I'm
Taiwanese but I think Taiwan hasthe best food in the world and
like the street food scene is beyond compare.
But all Asian countries. I like all Asian food.
Yeah, I agree, because I went toTaiwan like many moons ago and
(43:57):
it was one of the friendliest places I visited.
There was also, but it was also like it felt so accessible.
The night markets were just astounding.
And I think my favorite of street food in Asia is Malaysia,
Kuala Lumpur. I, I, I can't get enough of it.
It's because I love the, I love a little bit of that spice and I
(44:18):
love a little bit of the heat and that that it brings and Oh
my goodness, that's like gluttony for me.
So yeah. And I'm a person that loves to
travel to. Are you looking to do any future
travelling as well besides with the tour?
Yeah, I'm a travel writer, so I travel like once a month
usually. I definitely have a couple trips
(44:39):
planned. I'm going to Bora Bora, which I
go to every year because it's myfavorite place of French
Polynesia. I'm going back there mid
January. Then I'm I work with Patty a
lot, which is the diving association.
So we're doing a trip to Krabi, Thailand.
I've never been to I don't even know how to pronounce it.
(45:01):
Is it Krabi or Krabi? And then going to Costa Rica.
Yeah. So those just, those are all
places I've been before, but I always want to hit some new
places. I really want your job.
I think we need to switch placeswith you.
You do it, you're a journalist. You just need to pitch travel
publications. I am going to Columbia like next
week after Christmas. So I'm like, OK, this, this.
(45:24):
I mean, I think being in our 40s, it's like now it's like,
let's take the veneer off. Let's not wait for other people
to travel with. Let's just go for it.
And I think that's kind of whereI'm at.
And last question is, what wouldyou say to your younger self in
2000? I would say that I wish you knew
(45:46):
you were you were loved because she did not know that and that
would have changed all her decisions.
Oh my gosh, that's going to makeme cry here just hearing that
too. But you know, I, I just want to
say, you know, thank you so muchfor being on my show and for
reaching out to me. I mean, this is an honor.
I mean, an incredible honor to have you on And and I hope that
(46:09):
people get a chance to pick up fetter sizes.
It's in bookstores everywhere. It's an audio book and just
support your local bookstores too, as I like to pitch out.
Is it? Is it also available as a I
believe it's audio book? Are you narrating it?
Or did you I narrate it? Yeah, it was.
It was quite tiring. I guess I did that.
(46:30):
Awesome. So I hope that you get to check
that out and also where can people find you?
Yeah, I just go by my name, KylaYu, on all social media.
So you could really easily find my website or my social media by
my name. Awesome, awesome.
Well, best of luck to you in 2026.
And I cannot wait to see what travels or your travel pictures
(46:52):
and great food because at least it gives me an idea of what
where to travel to next. And yeah, I cannot wait to see
more from you. And I think that most people who
will read this will come away feeling informed and also and
also really appreciate the work that you have done over the
years. Yeah, thank you so much for
(47:12):
having me on.
Hey everyone, so welcome to the Mummy Chronicles podcast and my
name is Randy Kim and I'm joinedwith Kyla Yu.
And who is Kyla? She is an author based in Los
Angeles. Her debut memoir, Fetishize A
Reckoning with Yellow Fever, Feminism and Beauty, was
published this past August with Penguin Random House's Crown
Publishing. She is also a luxury travel,
(00:26):
food and culture writer and on camera correspondent based in
Los Angeles and you have writtenfor the Los Angeles Times, the
New York Times, Rolling Stone, National Geographic and more.
You are certified a scuba diver,free diver and mermaid.
We love that. Her former band, Nylon Pink has
(00:46):
toured in Australia, both in Melbourne and Sydney, played in
Shanghai, at the launch party for Hawaiianas in China, Costa
Rica and play at the Hard Rock in Tokyo, Japan, Macau, China
and Malaysia. So I want to say thank you so
much for, you know, reaching outto me and sending me a copy of
Better Size. I really, really thought it was
(01:08):
such a great read. And, you know, I never really
heard too much about you only because even though I am like
that generation of Asian Americans, I'm in my early 40s
now. And the reason why I say that's
because I knew about the, the car culture, the import car
culture and the Azn culture that, you know, that that my
(01:32):
cousins were into doing. And, and it just never appealed
to me because I mean, I think itwas a closeted gay man from
living in the Midwest in the suburbs, in predominately white
spaces. And I felt kind of like very
disconnected. But I think over time, you know,
I would. And I did actually did see Fast
and Furious too. So.
(01:52):
But I will say that it was such an interesting time because when
I started hearing more about your works, like, it started
recalling up some certain memories of like, oh, wow, yeah,
this was what happened. This is what my cousin was into.
These are some of what my peers,my Asian peers went through.
And actually, one of my close friends, Kevin, was telling me
like he was, you know, fangirling over you because he
(02:16):
was a teenager. He had a souped up Honda Accord
and knew your work. So it's it's really interesting
to see how this book has come together.
And I want to take or get your reflections of this year and
celebrating the release of your memoir.
Yeah, it's been an amazing year.I think it's been a very
(02:38):
difficult year too. Like putting out a book is super
exciting and also really confronting.
So it was almost like some people just kept comparing it to
birthing a baby, which I don't know about.
But like there is like some postpartum feelings and
(02:59):
excitement and anticipation and all of that.
And then it's like totally different than what you
imagined. So, but it's overall been
amazing. Yeah, what does being an Asian
American woman mean to you now in 2025 than it did say 2000?
I can't even fathom being an Asian American today who gets K
(03:20):
pop on the radio and like K pop demon hunters dominating the
charts. It's like I keep saying over and
over, like my little high schoolself could never have imagined
that Asians would have taken over culture so much that like,
there are people who want to be Asian or want to go eat our food
(03:43):
and like look up to Asians a little bit.
Even so, I mean, there's still afar ways to go because there are
still people who don't feel thatway by Asians.
But the fact that we've made such exponential progress is
amazing. Yeah.
I think it's kind of interesting, especially from
like a East and Southeast Asian lens.
(04:06):
And I think the last, I don't know, like what you just alluded
to is that like, you know, back in my high school self, if I go
back to that time, it would havebeen just so shocking to, you
know, see K Pop to see the emergence of Bollywood, to see
(04:27):
like the different Asian representations of Western film.
And it's and also even the restaurants to like, you know,
me being a Vietnamese and Cambodian.
But there's like the idea of Vietnamese restaurants being
very popular in the suburbs was really a foreign concept, you
(04:49):
know, growing up. And I never thought that would
ever reach communities outside of my own.
And so it is kind of like jolting when you think about
that. And I'm curious about like,
maybe going further, like what have you observed of Asian
American women today and where they stand in our current
society versus what you've experienced as a young adult?
(05:12):
Well, I would just say for Asianfetishism specifically, it used
to be all these like horrible, creepiest, like 60 year old men
who were like super pale and kind of fat.
We're the ones that have Asian fetishes.
But like now it's like cool hipster guys and whatever.
(05:37):
So it becomes a little bit more confusing 'cause when it's like
a disgusting man who has a Asianfetish, you're like, EW.
But then when it's like a gorgeous man who has a Asian
fetish, you're like, oh, is thatmore allowable?
It's kind of the same thing. Like I'm looking on TikTok and
like there's all these beautifulwhite girls with like a Korean
(05:57):
man fetish now because of K pop.And like the Asian men are very
happy about it. You know, they are not at all
men. Men don't.
Men don't object to being fetishized, is what I'm
learning. Men celebrate being fetishized,
whereas women, well, women don'tsexualize men.
At least I don't sexualize the men the way men sexualize me, so
(06:22):
there is a different creepiness I think.
Yeah, because in some ways it kind of hits because as a gay
Asian man, I have seen like folkAsian men get fair sized by
older white men to, you know, hipster white men.
And so it's it's still somethingthat like even in that
(06:43):
community, it's still like a current reckoning at the moment.
Like, for me, I never was into, like, seeking out white men.
And because I just felt like I grew up in a predominantly white
community and living in Korea for three years, I saw a lot of
the Asian fetishization from like, white expat travellers,
(07:05):
you know, hooking up with Koreanwomen.
And I was just like, increasingly turned off to the
point where I need to be around in my own community.
And I didn't want to sound like I'm being insular from it, but
it just informed me like, yeah, I feel like I don't want to be
seen as an object of desire. And I wonder about what you
(07:27):
learned growing up about how youstart yourself as an Asian
woman. Because I think at the beginning
of reading your book, you talk about your father early on and
how he, you know, had a strict parenting ways.
And how did you think that actually began to inform the way
you view Asian men in your life?Yeah, I think in my family and
(07:52):
in some Asian families of that generation, the men were very
hands off, like the women did the child raising.
So my dad was just kind of a, hewas a very kind man, but he was
just kind of more introverted and we didn't have conversations
(08:13):
and he didn't tell me I was, he didn't compliment me.
That's, that's maybe an Asian parent thing overall.
But then I was watching TV and the Brady Bunch and there's all
these like loving American families.
And I'm not getting that. And I think from that point on,
I, I'm someone who particularly responds to like verbal
(08:35):
affirmation. And I was getting none of that
at home or from any male figuresanywhere.
So I felt this like kind of needfor male validation that I feel
like originated there and then just developed more and more
through media influences. And what and what enticed you to
(08:59):
enter into modeling in the import car world?
Like what was that conversation like with your family when you
start to build that interest? My family and I have never had a
conversation about that, I don'tthink.
I mean, I, they know what happened, but they've never like
verbally acknowledged it. I, I did not enter the import
(09:23):
scene specifically, but I, I know exactly the origins.
Point was that when I was growing up in high school, there
was absolutely no Asian representation whatsoever.
It certainly isn't like what it's like today where there's so
many actresses that I can't evenknow them all.
You knew all the actresses in inthe late 90s that were Asian and
(09:47):
I didn't see anybody who I aspired to be like as a young
girl. It was all blonde, blue eyed
white girls on TV. And then the Internet started
and then I discovered this Asianmodel named Sung Healy and she
was so beautiful, the most beautiful Asian woman I ever
saw. And everybody online, all these
(10:08):
men were calling her the most beautiful woman in the world.
All these non Asian and Asian men, just men, hordes of men.
And then she became my idol because I was so invisible in
high school. She was aspirational.
So I was a fan of her for probably like several years.
(10:28):
And then when I graduated and got to college, that's when I
decided to pursue pinup modeling, which is what she did.
She was a Playboy model. What was your relationship like
or your encounters with her like?
Because I know when they always say that never meet your role
models. I'm very curious about what that
interaction was like, you know, stepping into the world, but
(10:51):
also what other Asian women thatwere also going into that.
Yeah, I mean, I idolized her, soI was very scared the first time
I met her. But the first time I met her was
special because I had started pursuing pin up modeling and
then she I was a member of her website.
(11:11):
Back then models had pay websites.
I guess they're only fans now, but back then they had their own
websites with memberships and I was a member of her website for
many years. And so I knew immediately when
she started casting for outside models to feature on her
website. So the first time I met her was
after I had submitted my photos and she had booked me to shoot
(11:33):
for her website. And I was hoping she would take
me under her wing and just like,you know, nurture me in all the
ways I've been on. But she was very, she was nice,
you know, but very business likeand very not wanting to do
anything besides business. And I remember I asked her if
(11:56):
she would do a shoot with me because I had seen her do shoots
with other models in the past. And then she was like, no, I
don't do that. And apparently she hasn't done
it. Or maybe she just stopped doing
them. But yeah.
I think with the emergence of the Internet, I think this is
something, you know, I go back to like how do you think social
(12:17):
media played a role in how Asianwomen are being seen now?
Actually how they are being seenback in pre social media times,
like say before 20 O 5, which I think that's when Facebook and
Myspace started to emerge. But I'm I'm curious to see how
that has really started to play that role.
(12:38):
Well, I feel like when social media came out, it probably
really furthered the Asian fetish because then there was
like forums and like websites and things dedicated to Asian
women. And like maybe these individual
men who had Asian fetishes had no way to like communicate about
it in mass. But there are websites
specifically dedicated to just love of Asian women or whatever.
(13:01):
I think how social media has changed, it is now that places
like YouTube and like Instagram,Asian creators are coming on and
showing multifaceted versions ofthemselves.
So it's not just sexy Asian women, it's Asian women who are
fashion influencers, Asian womenwho cook, Asian women who are
(13:23):
lawyers. You know, like it's every kind
of Asian woman you can imagine in the world has a place on the
Internet where they can find their own niche.
So I would say that in 2025, there's much less excuse for
being the Asian fetish. I can understand in the 90s why
you might have an Asian fetish. The only media you had was
(13:44):
memories of a geisha, and that was super fetishy, right?
And like, what other examples could you see?
There were so few, but now that there's like so much Asian media
out there, there's no excuse to only see Asian women in that
way. Yeah, I think it really brings
back like I've been kind of going down like memory lane
(14:06):
because I'm because like the struggle of being Asian,
especially when you don't see representations of yourself,
feels incredibly isolating. Like I wanted to go into
journalism and I had a hard timeconvincing my own dad to buy
into this idea. And I know that to get out of
the the STEM field felt like it felt like it was not only your
(14:28):
parents disapproval, but it's also like getting into that
industry, trying to navigate anddeal with the stereotypes.
I wonder, like in this modellingworld, I wonder why does import?
Why does the import world seem so appealing to Asian men?
I'm curious about the origins from that if like just from your
(14:49):
own understanding. From my understanding, it's just
what I was doing, which was likefighting against the model
minority myth of the like unattractive nerdy Asian who is
obedient. Car culture is heavily
masculine, so it's like a way for Asian men to assert their
masculinity, not play into thosestereotypes.
(15:13):
And I don't think it was purposely, but in that way, it
also kind of objectified Asian women because women are always
objectified in male car cultures.
Whether it's low riders to like classic American cars, when you
go to these car shows, there's always sexy women standing in
front of the cars. But also another reason was that
(15:35):
we had no community back then, like no gathering place.
So the import scenes when hot import nights started and it
became not just a car show was also like B boys came to perform
and DJ's came. It was like this whole community
thing where it wasn't just cars,it was like a big party.
So then it was just a place for identity.
(15:58):
And I didn't ever try to go intothe import scene.
I just started modeling as a model and there was like not a
ton of Asian models. So the minute you start
modeling, the import scene's going to start calling you if
you're a Asian model. I wonder how it is now with that
world because I know that I havenot gone anywhere near it.
(16:19):
But I'm curious to know, like, what have you seen as far as
where does it stand now in today's culture and with the
Asian community? I mean, from what I hear, it's
nothing like it was before. Like I kind of call the era we
were in, which was about 10 years, the golden age of import
scene of the import scene. I think partially like Fast and
(16:40):
Furious series killed it becausethe import scene was a special
place for Asian people to gather.
And then when Fast and Furious became mainstream and like
import cars were no longer considered rice rockets, like
people like who weren't Asian were fixing them up.
Then they start to flood the carshows and then it was no longer
(17:03):
our cultural space anymore. So car shows still happen, but I
think they're not the same as they were before.
Often we don't think about what women models, sex workers go
through in the industry that is lead and dictated by men.
What have you observed in some of these environments that not
(17:24):
many know about, especially as an Asian woman?
Well, I would say the import scene was fine.
I don't think I ever encounteredanything terrible there.
But I think in pin up modeling, it's like rife with predators
who are trying to prey on very young women and coerce them to
(17:45):
do more than they're willing to do.
And I touch on it in my book just a little bit.
But there was like a huge case that's still being tried right
now. Girls do Porn is like this was
this really huge porn productioncompany that was big on Pornhub
(18:07):
and they trafficked and coerced like hundreds of women who were
college aged. They would booked them for a
modeling shoot, but when they showed up it was not a modeling
shoot. It was far more they'd like take
away their passports, threaten them and like force them to do
(18:29):
much more than modeling. And I guess the women who were
like 18 didn't know how to report it back then or nobody
paid attention. I think women did report it, but
nobody gave a shit until like dozens and dozens of them got
together for a class action, class action lawsuit.
(18:53):
But all those men in that ring have went to jail.
You know, the the ringleader wasjust captured like 5 or last
year maybe. And like they sued Pornhub
successfully for I think $100 million.
But this was happening and nobody could do anything about
it for decades. How were you able to navigate
(19:17):
the darkness of that world and mean like I think of Tia Tequila
and her crashed out the last 15 years, which is very tragic and
just perplexing. There's no words for that.
But I'm like wondering like how do you think this has like this
long term effect? And how have you been trying to
(19:37):
navigate and reconcile with thatpast history?
Yeah, I think writing a book wasa big part of it wasn't like,
not intended to be healing, but it was very healing, but tons of
therapy. I'm sober, so I spent 12 years
in like recovery with like 12 steps and all of that.
(19:59):
But it's been a lot of like specific work on that time.
And like, what do you think has been a credit to your survival
from that industry? Like, what do you think has kept
you going? Like like, like to just to like
survive that. To mixture of things like my
(20:20):
mom's like a tiger mom, so she taught me to persevere and push
hard. So there's that.
I was on a lot of drugs and alcohol so that helps numb a lot
of the feelings. And then when I got sober, I got
a whole community and like program of how to heal these
(20:42):
issues. So it's a combination of factors
really. Your band Nylon Pink came at a
time when seeing Asian diaspora artist was an outlier in the
western music industry and also clashed with the emergence of K
Pop. And how did this create
challenges for you as an artist and with your group mates?
(21:02):
Yeah, I mean, when we met with it was, it was interesting
because it I started a band and it wasn't Asian at 1st and then
we had a hard time booking any gigs.
And then when it was all Asian girls, then we started to book
niche gigs, you know. So we found a niche that allowed
us to tour the world. And then when we started
(21:24):
covering K Pop, that gave us even more.
I mean, it's just when K Pop wasbarely starting, but there was
still a niche audience for it. But what it the ceiling was that
when we got to like, talk to record labels, they had no idea
what to do with us because therewas no precedent and they didn't
really understand what we were or could be.
(21:49):
Yeah, like I think when I think of Asian American or Asian
diaspora artists these days, like Japanese breakfast, like
the. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which, you know, Karen knows been like the pioneer.
I didn't even know that she was Asian until.
Yeah, I, I don't count her as Asian because she didn't like
really market herself as Asian, right.
(22:10):
Like it was like, we didn't know.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I think that also like in a way plays into it because no one
knew about I think it was Eddie Van Halen or I think like he's
he's mixed tie. Oh.
Really. Yeah.
And I mean, no one would have known that too or and I think
that is like what we have seen with the music industry, how
(22:33):
it's starting to slowly evolve outside of the K pop.
If we're talking more like in the indie rock and Asian pop
scene, Asian American pop scene,I do see that it's starting to
like emerge a little bit there too.
And actually the other day I waslistening to your song Candy
Coated Sugar Sucks. And you know, hearing that song
reminded me of the that famous early 1980s song written by
(22:57):
Prince, Nasty Girl by Vanity 6. I wonder, like, was that song
kind of like inspired by Vanity 6IN a way?
Because I mean, why do you thinkof the lead singer or Vanity 6
herself? She talked about how that
industry, you know, being in that music industry in that
(23:17):
rock'n'roll world, like nearly destroyed her.
And then she went into church. And I'm curious about it just
feels very much like in, in a way aligned with some of your
experiences in some ways. What, what are your feelings now
when you look back on that song and some of your music that you
(23:37):
did as a solo artist and with Nylon Pink?
Yeah, I am a songwriter, but I did not write that song.
A producer named Embryo, who is brilliant, came to me and just
like, had that song written for me.
But the song was really based onthe beat.
Like, the beat was like a club banger.
(23:58):
So I can't like, take any whatever.
I can't think of the word. But he came up with, I don't
know his story about how he cameup with that, but I think he
pretty much probably just observed my Myspace image and
then wrote a song for me. And yeah, I, I, I do still like
(24:21):
that song because it's so catchyin a club, but it's not
authentic to me. Like I'm, I'm not like that
person who sings candy. Like that's not my real
personality. Yeah, you mentioned like being
performing as Nylon Pink, that there were many white male
audiences. And what do you how do you think
(24:43):
that really in a way affected your relationship with the band,
but also the direction of your music and the audience you want
to connect with? I mean, the really creepy part
is like, the majority of our fans were not older white men,
but there were older white men at our shows, which is very
strange because we were a pop rock act that appealed to young
(25:05):
people. So it was like, jarring to see
them there sometimes. And they didn't bother me
because they were not a fan of me.
They were a fan of my drummer who joined the band at 17 and
really looked 14 years old and didn't wear makeup.
Like, it was very creepy. They were all fans of her.
And mind you, my guitarist, KikiWango, is like a agency model,
(25:29):
you know, like, she's a beautiful woman.
But all these older men were there for the childlike drummer
girl, and she has. I wrote a chapter called Lolita
in my book Fetishized, and it kind of focuses on my
relationship with Jamie the drummer.
And she she's bisexual. But she said after her
(25:51):
experience in Nylon Pink, she was just turned off for men and
had PTSD. So she's married to a woman now
and very happily married. But I know that those
experiences affect her relationships with men or her
our views of men. Yeah, I think it's kind of
interesting because like, you know, you, you were an important
(26:12):
model for a number of years. And I was like wondering why
weren't like, why weren't white,older white men drawing towards
you? Or was it because the drummer
took so much attention, in a way?
Because I was older, you know. Like the?
Time in the band, I think I was like in my late 20s to early
(26:33):
30s, so I had by far aged out ofwhat they were looking for.
When they were fans of me. I was like 19/20/21.
So yeah, I was not in their target demographic anymore.
Yeah, I think it's interesting because of the age gap between
you and and your bandmate and your your drummer and like how
(26:54):
what was your relationship like with her during that time?
Because when you have an age gap, like, do you find yourself
being like a mentor or in a way in a mothering figure?
I think definitely at first, definitely at first.
But I, you know, was a differentperson back then.
And I started to actually kind of get jealous of her because
(27:16):
she was getting all this attention effortlessly because
she didn't even want the attention, frankly.
Like, she wasn't trying for it. She wasn't doing her makeup or
like she, she wasn't doing what I had to do at her age to get
attention. So I was very jealous of how she
(27:37):
seemed to effortlessly get the attention I so desperately
sought at her age. Where did the pivot begin for
you when you were transitioning out of both the modeling and
music world into writing? That was purely accidental.
I think I eventually quit the band because I realized that it
(28:00):
was making me miserable and I didn't think it was ever going
to get to the level of success that I wanted.
And I only fell into writing accidentally because when my we
quit the band and we had no backup plan because we we hadn't
planned anything. So my guitarist and I decided to
(28:23):
make our banned website into a travel blog because we travelled
the world and we had travel content and the website had
traffic. So we started like, travel
blogging and going on these trips.
And as bloggers and creators, you're hosted on media trips.
(28:43):
And on these media trips, I would meet journalists.
And then I just thought what they were doing was so cool and
so superior to blogging that I eventually, just like, learned
how to do journalism by taking classes and pitching classes and
just pitching. So yeah, journalism was very
accidental. It was really just motivated by
(29:04):
me wanting to go on better mediatrips originally.
What are you discovering about yourself as a writer and after
writing this book? Yeah, I think writing is the
most priceless thing in the world because it has no
dependence on your outside exterior.
And in the entertainment industry, you're like, as a
(29:25):
woman, a depreciating asset, unfortunately, with the way it's
set up right now and with writing, you can write till
you're 99, really, right? Like, it just doesn't matter.
So I'm so grateful to have accidentally found this thing
that I didn't enjoy writing verymuch at the beginning, but I
eventually fell in love with it,like after doing it for many
(29:46):
years. As a journalist now, I mean,
we've seen the emergence of AI and I wonder about how has that
in a way challenged our journalists right now as you
speak, especially with like the the unregulated issues with AI
(30:06):
and also how it has affected theway information is being carried
out and how it's been kind of like taking over the social
media landscape. I'm curious about your thoughts
on that now. Yeah, I mean, it's extremely
affecting journalism. Journalism was already crumbling
as it is, like it used to be built on print ads and then they
(30:31):
were trying to pivot to SEO traffic.
And now I don't know how that's going to work anymore because it
is. Are people going to go to
websites anymore Because they might just go to ChatGPT.
I don't know how people are going to have consume their
journalism. I think you're already seeing
like New York Times is having all its reporters now be talking
(30:54):
heads on social media cuz like, maybe that's how we're gonna
consume journalism. But yeah, it is a scary time to
be a journalist because all there's just layoffs constantly
at every, I mean, there was a huge layoff at La Times and
Forbes, like every, every outlayyou can hear of is having
layoffs like monthly. So I don't know what the
(31:19):
solution is. It's kind of like the music
industry has never recovered from streaming.
It's no longer as profitable as it was before.
But I think you just got out in this landscape, be able to pivot
and do different things. Like as a journalist, I have
heavily invested in social mediabecause I can't just depend on
(31:40):
my written work paying the bills.
What would you say or what kind of content do you put on social
media now and what is your relationship with it, with your
followers and people who stumbleupon your work?
Yeah, my social media since the pandemic has always been focused
on Asian American issues, the kind of female tilted, but a lot
(32:04):
of it's reminiscence of the 2000s Asian culture that I grew
up with. And a lot of people are just
feeling nostalgic about that time.
It was a simpler time, it seems,where we weren't as stressed out
about many issues that we're facing today.
But yeah, I think it's fun to connect with my audience and
(32:25):
kind of like reminisce about times and then talk about some
current issues also. How are people responding to
your memoirs so far, especially among Asian women?
Yeah, it's been an amazing response.
Like, part of the reason I wrotethe book was because how is
there not a memoir about fetishization of Asian women
(32:48):
when every single Asian woman here experiences it?
I think I was particularly suited to write it just because
I leaned into the fetish so muchmore heavily than the average
woman. But yeah, I think just a lot of
the feedback I've been getting is that Asian women feel seen
and they can really relate to things.
(33:10):
And then there was a lot I learned, 'cause my my memoir is
not just my story, it's a cultural criticism.
So I breakdown movies like Memoirs of a Geisha.
There's an entire chapter, dedicated memories of a geisha.
I go through historical facts oflike military occupation and how
that perpetuated the fetishization.
(33:31):
So as I was learning that, I putthat into my book and I think a
lot of people are learning thesefacts that I was shocked to
discover myself. What do you think was the most
surprising or one that really stood out to you in your
research, in your literary criticism, or in your in your
critical research in developing this memoir?
(33:55):
Yeah, I think a fact that was particularly shocking is that in
Memoirs of a Geisha, which is written by a white man, he says
he has the geisha. So you already say, oh, the
American soldiers were so much nicer than they portrayed them
to be. But like, the fact is that Japan
(34:19):
has a history of comfort women where they would capture, I
think mostly Korean women and have them as sex slaves for
their military where they'd haveto service like 100 men a day in
like horrifying conditions. It was rape, you know, really.
But the American soldiers were aware of this practice.
(34:42):
And then when the American occupation or when Japan fell in
World War 2 and the Americans were coming to Japan, Japan set
up a comfort station to accommodate these American
soldiers. So they wouldn't rape local
women, basically. And the prostitutes or not
(35:02):
prostitutes, the sex slaves thatwork there said that the sex
that they had was so ghastly andanimalistic.
And it reminds me of this thing where Filipino prostitutes,
because this happened in the Philippines during the Filipino
war, also said they were treatedlike an animal with three holes,
(35:25):
like they were just used in the most degrading of ways.
And then this comfort station had to be shut down for rampant
STD's. And then when they shut it down,
I forgot the figure exactly but the rapes, local rapes like went
up from 50 a day to 300 a day orsomething.
(35:46):
I don't know the exact statistics but it was something
like shocking. But these are like American
soldiers raping local women. Yeah, it's out.
So I'll go ahead. The other shocking part is like
this is still happening today. Like people are like why are you
talking about something that happened like 150 years ago or
whatever. But like in Okinawa there are
(36:07):
still a military occupation there and they are still raping
local women. Like there was 2 cases tried
this past year. Yeah, I mean, like, you know,
being from the Vietnam, from my parents, from the Vietnam
generation, like we like hear stories about what happened with
the melee massacre. And I mean, reading about that
(36:27):
was just incredibly hard. I.
Don't even know about this. That was that was like about 50
plus years ago. And I think the Long story short
is that the American soldiers attacked a town like in central
Vietnam and they were sexually assaulting the women and
murdered most of the women and children in that town.
Only a few did survive. And there's like 1, I think
(36:50):
American soldier that I think there's like maybe one or two
American soldiers that somehow was able to hide some of the
other women. And it was incredibly upsetting.
I mean, there was this photo andI'll never forget that as a, as
a, as a teenage, as a teenage girl trying to like put, trying
to put her mom's clothes on, like, you know, and the kids and
(37:12):
it was just, and they were in this moment of, of shock and
terror. And I think that's a picture
that has never escaped me, you know, to this day.
And I think, and I think about what militarization does.
I mean, you see what's going on with Palestine and you hear
these stories of women and it just continues to go on.
(37:35):
And yeah, I mean, I think it's something that it's something
that I don't think we'll ever beable to understand in our
lifetime because it's so shocking and so horrifying and
to kind of like, maybe pivot. But in writing this memoir and
(37:57):
sharing it with audiences, do you find it it difficult to hold
space when you know readers willcome up to you and share their
own trauma? Because I have read about
Michelle Zoner's experience after writing Crank and HMR that
she will get people coming to her and sharing their trauma.
How do you handle like the stories from folks or how do you
(38:19):
receive that? That's a good question.
I don't know if I have an issue of it because I've spent years
in recovery. And when you're in recovery, you
sponsor other women and other women tell you the worst things
that happened to them, and you hold space for it and are not
(38:41):
affected by it somehow. Yeah, I've never considered
that. I guess it's because it's like
I'm just here to hear and witness you, but it doesn't mean
I need to take it on, you know? So I think because of my years
with that, I'm particularly already used to that, I guess,
(39:06):
hearing other people's traumaticstories, yeah.
Do you find folks from your pastlike after being a member, like
come up to you like whether it'sin the modeling world or as fans
of your music? And do you also like run into
like folks that are into or currently into the modeling
(39:28):
world? And I wonder about what that how
they have they connected with your memoir?
Yeah, I definitely think people who followed me in the past in
the 2000s have been giving a lotof feedback, like they had no
idea this was going on because it all seems so happy and
glamorous. And that's interesting.
(39:49):
I haven't spoken to as many who are currently pursuing pin up
modelling. I I feel like there's just far
less agents doing that these days.
But yeah, I I haven't heard backfrom like, say, an current
import model and her feedback ofthe book.
Yeah, I think what's so interesting is because where
(40:11):
this is going, I mean, like TikTok and Instagram and like
social media has like created somany different content creators
and it's a very like it's a veryoverwhelming world because
you're constantly creating, producing content and you don't
necessarily have the full production that like a studio
(40:32):
would have. I mean, I mean, unless you are,
unless you have enough followersand you unless you get enough
money coming in, it is a very challenging hustle grind to be
doing that work. If you were to be your 17 year
old self or 18 year old self nowin this culture, in this world,
how do you think you would have navigated?
(40:55):
It wouldn't have been good for me, I don't think, because when
I was 17 and 18, I had such low self esteem and desperate need
for validation. It it's tough.
I can't even imagine growing up with social media because
there's like all these pitfalls that we didn't have to deal
with. I didn't have to deal with like
young men or like elementary school boys asking me to sex
(41:19):
them photos. Like that wasn't a thing.
And how do you know at like 12 years old that's going to follow
you for the rest of your life orhaving to grow up in elementary
school or high school and compete on Instagram and have
that, you know, I, I don't know the easy.
I just OK, so I guess I wish what kids were taught was like
(41:44):
how to love themselves because we're all still in such a
culture where we learn from outside or where we're still,
everybody's desperate for outside validation, likes, views
and all of that. A book that I've been reading
recently and recommending to everyone is called Love
yourself. Like your life depends on it.
And it's literally about reprogramming yourself to love
(42:08):
yourself. So if everyone can come at the
world where they love themselves1st and then, you know, interact
in this world. Like we're in a time where we
desperately need compassion outside of social media, just
like, say, the administration, you know?
So if that was something we wereall taught, it would be a
(42:31):
different world. And what projects are you
working on and what are you looking to do in 2026?
Yeah, I am still touring the books.
So we're really like doing a lotof colleges and getting it added
to curriculum and all of that and also a second book idea and
(42:52):
then also possibly bringing it to film and TV.
So a lot of things in the works.That's a good question.
That is exactly what I'm trying to figure out.
It's not immediately obvious because like I know I'm writing
a second book and I've been brainstorming many ideas, but
(43:15):
like fetish rights came about because that book didn't exist.
So I don't know what other book that I could write uniquely that
doesn't exist. We're toying around with some
like food ideas because I'm a traveling food writer, but that
is a heavily trafficked space. What's your favorite place to
(43:37):
travel for food around that? Well I'm biased because I'm
Taiwanese but I think Taiwan hasthe best food in the world and
like the street food scene is beyond compare.
But all Asian countries. I like all Asian food.
Yeah, I agree, because I went toTaiwan like many moons ago and
(43:57):
it was one of the friendliest places I visited.
There was also, but it was also like it felt so accessible.
The night markets were just astounding.
And I think my favorite of street food in Asia is Malaysia,
Kuala Lumpur. I, I, I can't get enough of it.
It's because I love the, I love a little bit of that spice and I
(44:18):
love a little bit of the heat and that that it brings and Oh
my goodness, that's like gluttony for me.
So yeah. And I'm a person that loves to
travel to. Are you looking to do any future
travelling as well besides with the tour?
Yeah, I'm a travel writer, so I travel like once a month
usually. I definitely have a couple trips
(44:39):
planned. I'm going to Bora Bora, which I
go to every year because it's myfavorite place of French
Polynesia. I'm going back there mid
January. Then I'm I work with Patty a
lot, which is the diving association.
So we're doing a trip to Krabi, Thailand.
I've never been to I don't even know how to pronounce it.
(45:01):
Is it Krabi or Krabi? And then going to Costa Rica.
Yeah. So those just, those are all
places I've been before, but I always want to hit some new
places. I really want your job.
I think we need to switch placeswith you.
You do it, you're a journalist. You just need to pitch travel
publications. I am going to Columbia like next
week after Christmas. So I'm like, OK, this, this.
(45:24):
I mean, I think being in our 40s, it's like now it's like,
let's take the veneer off. Let's not wait for other people
to travel with. Let's just go for it.
And I think that's kind of whereI'm at.
And last question is, what wouldyou say to your younger self in
2000? I would say that I wish you knew
(45:46):
you were you were loved because she did not know that and that
would have changed all her decisions.
Oh my gosh, that's going to makeme cry here just hearing that
too. But you know, I, I just want to
say, you know, thank you so muchfor being on my show and for
reaching out to me. I mean, this is an honor.
I mean, an incredible honor to have you on And and I hope that
(46:09):
people get a chance to pick up fetter sizes.
It's in bookstores everywhere. It's an audio book and just
support your local bookstores too, as I like to pitch out.
Is it? Is it also available as a I
believe it's audio book? Are you narrating it?
Or did you I narrate it? Yeah, it was.
It was quite tiring. I guess I did that.
(46:30):
Awesome. So I hope that you get to check
that out and also where can people find you?
Yeah, I just go by my name, KylaYu, on all social media.
So you could really easily find my website or my social media by
my name. Awesome, awesome.
Well, best of luck to you in 2026.
And I cannot wait to see what travels or your travel pictures
(46:52):
and great food because at least it gives me an idea of what
where to travel to next. And yeah, I cannot wait to see
more from you. And I think that most people who
will read this will come away feeling informed and also and
also really appreciate the work that you have done over the
years. Yeah, thank you so much for
(47:12):
having me on.
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