August 15, 2023 • 43 mins
What if well-being was the #1 priority in your business and your life? And yes, I am talking about putting it ahead of making money... because what's the point of financial success if you're unhappy in your work, miserable in your business, or so stressed out that your health is in jeopardy?
It's possible to have success in all aspects, and when you put well-being at the top of the priority list, and truly use that as the thing against which you weigh your decision-making. Because when you do, expansiveness is the result. In every area.
You feel happier, your business lights you up more, you're able to be more present, you have better relationships, your business supports you, it is sustainable, and your energy level and your energy itself improves. Who doesn't want all of that?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there, my name is Corinne O'Flynn and you're
listening to the CalmEntrepreneur podcast.
I am a USA Today bestsellingauthor, non-profit executive and
organizing nerd with over 20years experience running my own
small businesses.
I teach entrepreneurs, solarpreneurs and small business
owners like you how to organizeyour business, find more time
(00:21):
and deepen your alignmentpractice to experience more calm
and confidence every single day.
If you're looking for thatintersection between practical
business advice and spiritualgoodness, then you're in the
right place.
So sit back, relax and let'sdive into this week's episode of
the Calm Entrepreneur podcast.
Welcome, welcome to the CalmEntrepreneur podcast.
(00:45):
I'm your host, corinne O'Flynn,and this is episode 34.
So I have a question for you,and it's something that I ask
everyone that I work with andeveryone who I ever meet who is
an entrepreneur, and it's whatif?
What if?
Well-being was the goal?
I think that it's really easyas entrepreneurs to get really
(01:08):
caught up in chasing the moneyand we get into business.
You know, we get into businessbecause we want to work for
ourselves and we want to supportourselves, and supporting
ourselves means, you know,paying our bills, and that
requires money and a successfulbusiness, and that's not up for
debate.
But what if we focused on ourwell-being and made that the
(01:30):
primary goal, so that we couldsustain ourselves and find
something that is lucrative andallows us to be fully ourselves
and attract our customers right?
And I think that asentrepreneurs, we get really
stuck in this feeling that wecan't pivot, and I'm learning
(01:53):
that more and more people arefinding that it's hard to make
the shift, because I truly dobelieve the Calm Entrepreneur.
My business came about you know, if you've heard me talk about
this at any point in the past asa result of a super deep
burnout that I went through andit lasted a couple of years and
it was years in the making, andthen it was years in the healing
(02:17):
and I'm still on my out ramp.
You know, I'm still on the exitramp out of a burnout.
I think it's a terrible place tobe and I think that it's so
easy to lose sight of the deeperwhy, beyond paying the bills
(02:37):
and beyond, you know, keepingthe roof over our heads and
keeping the lights on, you know,I think, that a lot of
entrepreneurs, in particular,you know, small business owners
you know we stay in misery whenthe opposite is what we need,
because leaving or pivoting iswhat's going to open those next
(02:59):
doors for us?
Right, it's so easy to stay inthe trap of a stressful,
unhealthy business situationbecause it's generating money.
You know, and I know thisfirsthand.
And I wonder you know, have youever been in a job where you
hate it, where the work is justthis soul-sucking thing and you
(03:24):
go to bed each day hating that.
You have to get up the next dayand go back to that work and
you vow that you will never dothis kind of work again?
Or have you ever been in asituation where you had a client
who you know, if you're aconsultant, and you're making,
you know, a nice hourly wage ora nice project by project income
(03:46):
?
But the client is such a painand this person is making you
bend over backward and do morethan you bargained for, or
they're really difficult to workwith.
And you come to the realizationthat you know, oh my gosh, like
I can't keep working for thisperson, no matter, no matter
what, it doesn't make adifference how much they're
(04:06):
paying me Like I need to firethis client.
And that's something that comesup a lot in a lot of the
business groups that I'm in.
In fact, people come into thegroup, one group in particular,
and they ask advice and they'relike well, here's the situation.
I am working with this clientand this is you know, I'm making
five figures off of this clientfor this, you know, six months
(04:26):
project, and this is not my onlyclient, but it's my largest
client.
Let's say, and these are theterms of the agreement, and now
it's become this, this, this,this, this, and it's killing me,
I don't know what to do.
And nine times out of ten, likein the dozens and dozens of
responses that come through, youknow, and my response as well
(04:50):
to those kinds of pleas foradvice is fire the client, like,
wash your hands of it, handthem off to someone else, tell
them that this is no longer whatthe deal was.
And I think that sometimespeople hear that and they think
that that's unprofessional.
But I think that we'reconditioned as business people
(05:10):
to put up with it because we'rebeing paid and I think that
there's the line, you know,there's a line between being
abused and, you know, beingtreated poorly in business.
But there's also this shift Ithink that we need to make as
entrepreneurs, where we get tochoose what we do, we get to
choose who we work with.
We get to choose everythingabout our business and I think
(05:36):
that we forget that and I thinkthat there are lots of reasons
why entrepreneurs in particularstay in losing situations or
these soul-sucking situationsand we rationalize why we can't
leave.
You know, and that's what Iwanted to talk about today
(05:57):
because I think that we forgetthe importance of our heart in
our business.
We forget the importance of oursoul in our business.
We forget how it feels to be awhole human, living a life and
running a business that we love.
You know, do you remember thelast time you sat down and said
(06:20):
I love what I do and I loveevery piece of what I do and I
get to choose who I work withand I get to decide the value of
what I'm providing?
I think that we forget and oneof the biggest reasons why I,
when I talk to the people that Iwork with, why won't you pivot?
(06:42):
What's going on?
Why are you still doing thisthing that you hate or that's
sucking you dry or whatever youknow, fill in the blank and the
number one reason is fear offailure.
You know, I don't want to giveup and I think that that causes
us to cling to a dysfunctionalbusiness or a dysfunctional
aspect of a business out of fearof being seen as a failure or
(07:04):
being judged as a quitter ifthey walk away.
You know, admitting defeat canfeel so devastating in that way,
and I think that even when,moving on is the thing that's
going to open the next door.
And I'm speaking to you assomebody who has gone through
that.
Like I have pivoted, I've donea 180 in my business, a 180.
(07:27):
And one of the first things thatI wrote about in my journal was
like I feel like I'm going toappear flaky.
It took a bit and it took metalking to my mastermind group
and they were all like Corinneappear flaky to who.
Like it doesn't matter.
Like you need to love what youdo You're the one sleeping with
(07:51):
you at the end of the day.
Like you need to be able to beat peace in your brain, in your
heart, in your body at the endof each day.
You need to Wake up the nextmorning and be like on fire for
the next thing that you're gonnabe doing.
And I think that we get socaught up in this, this fear of
(08:11):
being judged and also thisconditioning that says, you know
, only losers quit.
And I think it's possible to,you know, shift and stop
thinking about letting things goand, you know, pruning the, the
things that you don't want outof your business.
Stop, stop framing that asfailure, stop calling that
(08:32):
quitting.
If quitting is a negative wordfor you, you know, the quitting
is no longer a negative word forme.
It is like liberation let'stalk about, let's talk about
freedom, right, when it comesback down to like the core
essence of why are you inbusiness for yourself, why are
you running your own business?
And I think that you know, whenasked, most of the top three
(08:53):
answers will be freedom.
One of those answers is gonnabe freedom, right, it's it's
time freedom, it's work freedom.
It's location freedom, it'sfreedom to do whatever it is
that you actually want to dowith your life.
You know, and if your businessis the work piece that is
funding your life, that'swonderful.
(09:16):
If your business is actuallythis integrated part of your
everyday, that's wonderful.
You know you get to choose.
So I would argue, or I'd like to, you know, offer you the
alternative.
You know, stop framing quit asfailure.
And you know I we hear it sooften you know you're only.
(09:37):
You only fail if you quit.
And that's true, like I'm nottalking about giving up on your
business, I'm not talking aboutshutting it all down and saying
that you can't do it because youcan't you can't hack it, you
can't make it work.
I'm talking about sitting downand taking an inventory of your
business and identifying whatabout it is working and what
about it isn't working.
And when I say what is and isn'tworking, I'm not talking about
(09:58):
what's making money.
I'm talking about what'slighting your fire, what's
filling you up, what is speakingto you?
You're like your whole essence.
What is it about your business?
What pieces in your businessallow you to show up fully?
And I like this is somethingthat Everybody deals with.
I'm dealing with this.
(10:19):
I deal with the daily basis.
I'm like where is it that Iwant to be and who?
Who do I have to be to show upthe way that I want in my
business?
And it's a, it's a, it's a,it's a practice, it's the work,
right, it's every day.
This is the part of showing upthat that matters, right.
So my number one thing that cameup when I talked to other
(10:41):
people, and also something thatI have dealt with in the past Is
fear of looking like a failure,fear, a feeling like a failure,
and I would like to, I'd liketo offer that like let's, let's,
let's shift that, let's changethe language, let's reframe that
, and and grab on to the freedomand the beauty of we do have
(11:01):
the freedom to change our minds,we have the freedom to pivot.
Let's, let's take advantage ofthat.
Let's do it right.
So, if nothing else, I hopethat Out of this entire you know
conversation that I'm havingwith shifting the thoughts to
well-being, like any time youstart assessing your business
and I hope that you do I hopethat you take whether that be on
(11:24):
a weekly, month, like quarterly, yearly, whatever basis.
Ask yourself, you know, do Ilove this?
Do I still love this?
Do I love all of this?
What parts don't I love?
Can I change those things?
What if Well-being was thenumber one goal?
What if well-being was the goallike?
I ask myself that all the time,and I share that with every one
(11:46):
of my clients and all thepeople that I talk to all the
time, because I think that weneed to shift and I think that
we we must for our health, ifnothing else but mental health,
physical health, you know.
But go back to the why.
Why did you choose To get intobusiness for yourself and why
(12:08):
did you choose this as yourbusiness?
And I think that when youanswer those questions for
yourself, it's gonna go back topassion, it's gonna go back to
love and fire and all of thosethings.
And I think that you know whatif we kept those things as the
goals.
And number two thing that comesup all the time is finances.
(12:29):
Right, we're worried aboutmaking ends meet, we're worried
about feeling trappedfinancially in our business and
it's so tempting to stick with asteady income stream from your
existing business rather thanfacing that unknown that's going
to come if you pivot and I'm inthat right now Like I pivoted
(12:51):
from a lucrative author businessyou know doing really well.
I have three pen names.
I still write fiction, but it'sdefinitely taking a slower pace
from me because I have gottenback to the joy of why I became
a writer and you know thereasons why.
That fills my cup.
And I got caught up in chasingthe money and like really losing
(13:16):
sight of why was I doing whatI'm doing?
And you know, and I love thework that I did, I love the
stories that I wrote.
I'm still selling all of thosetitles, but I can't.
That's not a sustainable modelfor me anymore.
And I'm not saying that if youfind that the thing that you're
doing is no longer letting yourfire, that you have to totally
do 180, you don't.
(13:36):
But you know, if you took thepie chart of your business and
decided that you know thesewedges are doing great, but
these two wedges over here, I'dlike to really contemplate what
it would look like if thosethings changed.
That's what I'm talking about,and I think that we're so afraid
and like we are trapped in thefinancial piece of it and it's
(14:02):
difficult, it is reallydifficult to make a shift and
know that it's gonna cost youbecause it will.
It has to because you're givingsomething up in your business.
But it's expensive, likecompared to what?
Because if your health is atstake, you know if you get sick
because of the stress of yourbusiness, it doesn't matter how
much money your business ismaking if you can't, if you're
(14:24):
not here to enjoy it right, andI think that we all have heard
so many stories about that.
So if we're worried aboutmaking ends meet without the
income, then don't necessarilypivot and do a 180 tomorrow, but
maybe have a different strategy.
Like, talk about your businessin terms of all the different
(14:45):
things that you do and you know,off ramping some things and
make that a ramp that you rampdown.
Because when we're working andwe're really focused on the work
and the day-to-day and we're,you know, not really thinking
about the expansive view of thehorizon, we forget that by
(15:06):
keeping all of our energytrapped in this place we're
actually keeping those doorsclosed, like those other doors
don't open, because we'reholding them shut with both
hands because we're like nope,everything has to stay right
where it is, because I have toget all this stuff done.
If you feel like you're stuckin that hamster wheel kind of a
feeling and I'm not saying I'mnot calling it a hamster wheel
(15:29):
to judge this is not a valuejudgment.
If you feel like you'respinning because you can't stop
because the bills, that's legitand you are 100% not alone and
you're not wrong, there'snothing wrong with that feeling.
But if you are not happy withthe way that that feels, start
making an assessment about allthe different pieces that make
(15:51):
up your business and see whereyou can start to off ramp old
things to on ramp new things andsee what that feels like, see
where you do have wiggle roomand freedom of time and space in
your business, and explore thatand contemplate that.
The number one, the number threereason, the next thing that is
(16:13):
on my list of things that cameup when I talked to my people
about this was I don't wannawaste the time that I have
already invested in thisendeavor, right After pouring
months and years and long hoursinto building this business.
It's really hard to acknowledgethat time as a sunk cost right
(16:36):
and that sunk cost fallacy.
I think that it's.
We believe that if we just keepat it a little bit longer, then
we're gonna get the ROI.
Oh, and then we're gonna getthe ROI and then we're gonna get
the ROI.
It doesn't work like that.
It does for some, but for mostpeople it doesn't, and I think
that we can wish and hope all welike, but the reality is that
(17:00):
we have to make real choicesabout yeah, I spent a lot of
time and energy.
Yeah, I spent a lot of money.
I did those things and Ilearned valuable, valuable
lessons, and I also learned thatit isn't working the way that I
needed to work.
So I'm gonna pivot.
You have permission to do thatand I want you to give yourself
(17:23):
that permission.
And again, if you're working ina business and you don't know
where to pivot, don't pivot yet.
Start exploring it.
Like do a mind map, bring inpeople, create a mastermind
around this.
Like bring in trusted peoplewho can advise you on the pros
and cons.
Somebody who's not invested inyour business can see things
(17:44):
that you can't see.
Right and don't be preciousabout things.
Like be able to hear hardtruths and not take them
personally.
Like take yourself out of thatequation for a moment and look
at your business and listen towhat other people are saying
about what they see from whatyou're sharing and see where the
truth is right.
(18:04):
It's just an exercise, anexploration, but I think it's a
really valuable one and I thinkthat we get wrapped up in this
again.
This is kind of like quitting.
Like we feel like there's thislabel where we're calling
ourselves names because we'requitting.
We're calling ourselves namesbecause we're calling throwing
in the towel and crying uncle.
(18:25):
Right, we've already investedso much time.
We can't give up now and I justI don't subscribe to that
anymore.
I did and I don't anymore.
We in my family have had thatexperience where we've walked
away from without getting intoany details, because it doesn't
(18:47):
really matter.
We have walked away frombonuses because it's just too
much, it's not worth it.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me.
I'm losing my mind.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me, I'm gonna die of a
heart attack.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me.
I wanna be home with my family.
Like we have to make a value onour own wellbeing, and when
(19:12):
wellbeing is the primary goal,when wellbeing is the priority,
it can't help but shifteverything else into its place
and wellbeing again wellbeing isnot.
We're gonna go off and live inthe forest and in forage and
sing songs by the fire and liveoff the land.
(19:33):
Well-being incorporates makingmoney.
Well-being is about beingsustainable right, it's about
filling your cup and havingenough that spills over into the
saucer and the saucer is whereyou give from.
But you can't do that if you'restressed out and stuck and you
feel like you're running in aloop.
You just it just doesn't work.
(19:55):
And I am trying to bring morepeople into this discussion of
making wellbeing the primarygoal, because I think that we
are in a crisis mode asentrepreneurs, because if you
spend any time online lookingaround at the things online, if
you spend any time on socialmedia, we are inundated with go,
(20:22):
go, go and you have to do thisnext thing.
And here's the next strategyand here's the next psychology
of selling and all thesedifferent things.
And yeah, you know what?
We need to be savvy businesspeople, but we're allowed to put
stuff on the back burner.
We're allowed to slow it downif we need to.
You know, I talk about the crazypush marketing, the really
(20:47):
heightened energy of the andpeople call it bro marketing,
and I don't wanna disparage menin this, but I call it cocaine
and red bull.
It's like you're sitting therewatching somebody who has just
taken like speed and they'relike and you have to, and yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, and we'regonna go to go to go to go to go
to go to, and that's wonderful,like they might have fantastic
(21:09):
strategies.
But what comes with that pushis all of these things like I
can't quit, I've already sunkcost.
Everyone else is having successand I'm not.
And you know, we judgeourselves and we assign value to
things that aren't necessarilyours.
We don't necessarily want allthose things.
We don't necessarily feel likethose things are what we would
(21:34):
count as successful, right?
So, all of those things aside,it comes back to it doesn't make
a difference how much time youhave invested in your business.
It doesn't make a differencehow much money you have already
invested into business.
It doesn't make a differencehow much planning you've done.
If you're miserable doing yourwork, it doesn't matter.
(21:56):
I would say it doesn't matterhow much money your business is
making.
If you're miserable in yourbusiness, that's not success.
And for me, anyway and I wouldlike to hand over this cup of
Kool-Aid to you to drink theKool-Aid with me and come over
to the light side, come over tothe place where we're focusing
(22:20):
on our energy and we're focusingon meditation and tapping in
and looking in and reallyconnecting not just with
ourselves but with our business,like if you treat your business
as an extension of you and youlook at your business as this
(22:42):
thing that is going to help youbuild a sustainable life or
maintain a sustainable life,while also bringing well-being
to you and yours.
That like what is that worth?
Right?
One of the next things and Ihave a list of the top 10 things
(23:03):
that came up when I asked thisquestion was doubt.
I doubt that I can secede again.
I don't have the confidence tostart fresh and I'm going to
tell you like this is somethingthat, again, this is one of the
things that I am currentlyliving through.
In pivoting my business, I wentfrom author fiction author,
(23:27):
full-time fiction author.
I'm now a part-time fictionauthor and it's wonderful.
But I shifted over to coachingand now I have been coaching
people for a really long timeand I've been doing lots of
iterations of the kind ofcoaching that I'm doing now with
the calm entrepreneur I haverecently brought in human design
and things like that.
(23:48):
But I did not have a businessdoing those things.
I was doing it on the side, asa thing that I was really good
at that people sought me out for, because they saw it in me and
said, hey, you know what, canyou help me with that?
And so now I've pivoted and Irealized that I really want to
do this full-time.
I want to make this thethree-quarter pie and authoring
(24:10):
a smaller piece of the pie, andthat has been such a humbling
experience, you guys, because Ihave a marketing background, I
have the tools and the skillsand the understanding of how all
of these things are supposed togo.
But I'm starting from zero.
Like I have an audience of 20people who I've served in this
(24:32):
capacity, but I don't have anaudience of 25,000.
Like I do on my author lists.
I don't have a following forpeople who are looking to me as
a coach, so I'm having to startthat completely from scratch and
it's been hard and it'shumbling in all the ways.
(24:52):
But doubt is a big part of that.
Do I have what it takes?
Will I succeed?
But I'll tell you I'm alreadywinning at this because, yes,
it's slow, but I don't thinkI've ever been happier and
(25:13):
coming out of a burnout, comingback into the on ramp of life
and living a full, lit up life.
I am so aware of how much joymy business brings.
I'm so aware of how still Ifeel inside, how right it all
feels, and I'm trusting thatit's going to continue to build
(25:38):
and all of those things aregoing to happen.
But the doubt piece is reallyinsidious.
There's this well, I don't knowlike, do I have the wherewithal
to hang in there long enough tokeep on chugging on this thing?
That's really tiny right now,but I love it.
It's tiny and it's fun and I'mgrowing my confidence to do this
(26:01):
in a professional capacitywhere I was doing it in an
unofficial way in the past.
So it's interesting because Ithink that a lot of people and I
was surprised that this came updoubt, they doubt that they can
succeed again.
And especially when you'vepoured everything into a
(26:21):
business that's not feeding you,that's not feeding your soul
and it's not filling you up inthe way that you wanted it to.
And I'm not talking again, nottalking about financially, like
it might be doing greatfinancially but you just don't
love it.
It's not something that you cansee yourself doing forever.
Doubt is a big piece of well.
(26:42):
I launched a business and itbrought me here how do I know
the next one's not going to bethe same thing.
Like it's kind of like impostersyndrome, right, it creeps in
and it makes that taking on of anew risk even scarier, because
it's like you know we're stuckin the devil, that we know,
right, we're comfortable withthe thing that we know.
(27:04):
And that's the next point on mylist.
Number five was beingcomfortable with the pain.
Like change is scary, change isstress-provoking, it causes
anxiety, right, and very often,in fact, a surprising percentage
of people feel like it'sactually better to stay in this
(27:32):
negative or toxic or whateversituation.
That's unpleasant because it'sfamiliar and you know the
certainty of the known thing,the certainty of that.
You know misery, because that'swhat it is.
It feels safer than theambiguity of change.
(27:53):
Like that, nebulousness isscary and you know fear of the
unknown keeps us stuck.
And I actually was reallysurprised with that one because
I think that of all the thingson this list, that's one that I
don't necessarily struggle withpersonally, like I am not averse
to making a different decisionand stepping off into the
(28:16):
darkness of the abyss and likelet's see, let's see where we
land and you know, maybe that isa privilege to be able to do
that, I guess.
But I was surprised that thiscame up as number five on a list
of 10.
I thought if it would show, Ithought it would be lowered down
.
The next one that came up wasfeeling an obligation to the
(28:37):
people that we work with, people, that we work for, the people
who have invested in thebusiness for us, the people that
are supporting us as we startedout in the business.
Or maybe you have employees orcontractors that you hire and we
don't want to let people down,right, walking away from a
business means, potentially,people are losing jobs, right,
or investors are losing money,and we wrestle with the feelings
(29:00):
of guilt, right, and shame.
And this responsibility that wehave given ourselves to those
who have counted on this ventureis succeeding.
But you know and again this isnot to say that you know you
need to shut everything down ifyou're not happy, like I think,
that there's degrees of this andthere's a way to.
(29:21):
You know, offload the thingsthat aren't working and in-road
new things that could possiblywork because they light you up.
And you know there's, I think,a way to.
If we picture it like a big,gigantic cruise ship, you know
that's not going to turn aroundon a dime, like that's not a
little drone that you get tospin the air and turn around the
(29:42):
other way.
This is something that needs toturn by degrees and it needs a
huge amount of space, right, weneed a ton of real estate to be
able to turn that ship.
And so think about it like that, like what one needle-moving
thing can I change to move us ona different trajectory by one
(30:04):
degree, five degrees, tendegrees, and not throw
everything out, because there'ssome things that are working in
your business, there are somethings that are lighting you up
in your business, and I thinkthat we also do get lost in, we
get bogged down in the one thingthat's not working and it feels
so heavy and it's like ugh.
So I think that the obligationthat we give ourselves and this
(30:25):
is something that we're puttingon ourselves this responsibility
to the business, thisresponsibility to outside forces
, you know how long are yougoing to continue beating the
thing until you decide that it'sdead, you know.
So, again, this is one of thosethings that demands attention
and you know it can be easy todo Just take inventory and see
(30:48):
what's happening.
There's another one that wasmentioned again more often than
I thought, and it was kind oflike the addiction to the
adrenaline rush of it, like thethriving on the intensity and
the drama of it all, like, forsome people, the non-stopness of
their business being on thebrink, like, if I don't get this
(31:09):
done, everything.
It's like dumpster fire that weget addicted to that.
That rush right and it makesfor an aliveness feeling where
we kind of like burn out or burnup everything in the day and
then go to bed like exhaustedand wake up the next day like
all right, let's do it again,and I think that that's a recipe
(31:33):
for disaster.
That is like you've hooked yourfishing line in the mouth of
burnout and you're just reelingit in, reeling it in, and the
harder you go, the faster thereel goes and the quicker that
thing is coming at you becauseyou're going to catch it, and
that's not well-being, that'sthe opposite of well-being.
And so I would love to.
(31:57):
If you are feeling like you'readdicted to the adrenaline rush
of the chaos and the drama andthat intensity of your business,
I would love to hear from youif you made the switch, because
I was in there in that placewhen I finally hit a wall in my
business with my fiction.
(32:18):
I was writing like a machine,and I'm not a machine and some
people are.
You know, some people cansustain that.
I, corinne, cannot do that andit was a rude awakening for me
personally.
And so if you feel like that'syou, where you know you don't
love it, but you do it becauseyou don't know any other way
(32:40):
than you know, maybe you're theone who's you know.
I don't know who needs to hearthis, but here's my, here's my
podcast for today.
Maybe, maybe you're the one whoneeds to hear this today,
because we don't realize thephysical and mental toll that
all of this brings on us, right?
We're caught up in theday-to-day and the doing and the
(33:02):
busyness of our business thatwe don't spend enough time
recognizing the damage thatwe're inflicting on ourselves,
on our relationships, on ourhealth, on our physical health
and our mental health, but onour happiness and our well-being
.
Like it's going to keep comingback to well-being, because,
like that's, that's the newthing for me, like the I, we are
(33:24):
moving forward into a newparadigm in the world and I
think that there are many morevoices joining the chorus of
this.
Well-being is, it has to be, thepriority and it's the
well-being of us and all of us.
You know, you and yours, me andmine all of our well-being and
(33:45):
doing business in a way that youknow is sustainable, not just
to us and ours and you and yoursand me and mine, but to the
world, right To be of service ina way that is more than just
filling our own cup and feelingour own wallets Like there's
(34:06):
another way to do it.
I, I believe, I, I know, I knowthat there's another way to do
it and I believe that there's ashift coming in in, like the
zeitgeist of entrepreneur land.
I think that we're shifting andI think that I want everybody
to just start thinking aboutwell-being, because when you're
(34:26):
working in a business that issustainable sustainable in the
way that it is filling you up,it is lighting you up, it is
filling your cup and fillingyour wallet you then become a
vessel for philanthropy, likegiving back, and that giving
back looks in all the differentfacets.
It's actually charitable.
Giving.
(34:46):
It is being available to yourpeople in a more sustainable way
, wholly arriving and beingpresent in all of your moments.
That sustainability is what I'mtalking about.
So the next thing on my list wasnot realizing the toll, right?
I just talked about that, but Ididn't enumerate it for you.
(35:08):
That was number eight.
Number nine is the beingoverwhelmed by the thought of
uprooting everything.
Right?
Like leaving a dysfunctionalbusiness or letting go of a
dysfunctional piece of yourbusiness can feel exhausting
because it's going to causeupheaval, and I think that when
(35:31):
you're on the precipice and theidea of changing just one thing
is enough to break you, that's ared flag, right?
That means that's like one ofthose things where, if someone
says, oh, I don't have, you know, meditate for 20 minutes, I
don't have 20 minutes tomeditate, and the answer is,
well, then you need to meditatefor an hour.
(35:51):
Right, if you don't have thecapacity to shift things in your
business, because just the ideaof making shifts in your
business is overwhelming, thenI'm going to say, then you need
to shift more than one thing inyour business.
So take a look at that and tryto do it without judgment.
Like all of these things Ioffer to you, I would like you
(36:13):
to take them on without judgment.
Like take an objective, look asobjective as possible.
Like we can't really be trulyobjective, but be as objective
as we possibly can and don't beprecious and don't let your ego
tell you that things are whatthey aren't or that they aren't
what they are.
Try to look at it, you know, asif it were someone else's
business, and see what you see.
(36:34):
Right, where can you make achange?
Because the rewards for makingthese changes are like bounty.
Bounty and like passion andenergy and increased capacity
for new things.
Right, opening more doors,letting go of things.
Like if you're in the hot airballoon and you've got too much
(36:58):
stuff, you let go of the ballastand you float up higher.
There's more available to you,but you can't see it because
you're stuck right.
So if that feels like you, thenI you know.
Then this again what if youshifted and made well being the
priority right now, like what'sone thing that you could change
today that would make thathappen?
And the last thing is, again,that's holding on for that ROI
(37:19):
piece.
It's hoping that the situationis going to improve by believing
that we can turn things around.
And I think that there'sthere's a point at which that
becomes an irrational thing.
Like you're instead of, youknow, prolonging the life of
your business, or prolonging thelife of this aspect of your
business, or this, the life ofthis project, or whatever it is,
(37:42):
there's a line that you crosswhere you're now just prolonging
the death of it.
Right, and I think that we knowwhen we get to those places,
but it's also really hard toadmit it.
So that's that's what I've gotfor you on my list of things,
because when we, when we reallylisten to our bodies and we
(38:03):
listen to our spirit and welisten to the words that we're
saying to ourselves about ourbusiness, and then we look at
them in the frame of well-being,you know.
We then start to see, I think,the benefits of embracing the
change.
We start to reduce unhealthystress and anxiety by ending
(38:25):
unsustainable business things.
Right, the relief that comes isimmediate.
Right, we can focus our energyon new passions, because when we
leave behind what isn't working, we create space to rediscover
purpose and joy and new passions.
And like again, that's thecliche like one door closes, one
door opens.
(38:45):
You can't open anything ifyou're holding on with both
hands to the things that arethere.
It strengthens ourrelationships because when we
release the pressure valve wecome back into our body and we
are more present, and that willenhance every relationship that
(39:06):
we have.
It also then starts to open ourminds to the possibilities.
Right, it takes away the fearof change because we are already
making change.
And if we make itty-bittyincremental changes, right, the
one degree trajectory change,the two degree trajectory change
.
And we start to see that, ohlook, I made this shift and I
(39:27):
didn't die and I made this shiftand oh my God, I'm so happy and
I made this shift and this hasbeen so fantastic for my
business.
The more we do it, the more werealize that we can do it, and
then it becomes exciting,because then we start to look
for the opportunities like wherecan I do this some more?
So I think that when we movethe priority list and we put
(39:49):
well-being at the top of thelist, it's a game changer and
it's a no-brainer.
I think that it will help usimprove everything creativity,
decision-making, productivity.
It helps with your businessculture, like if you do have
employees.
It changes the vocabulary.
It changes the language thatyou're using to speak with each
(40:12):
other.
It makes it a people-firstbusiness as opposed to a
business-first business, andthat sounds counterintuitive,
but I know that that works.
That's a business model thatworks.
It brings in satisfaction foryou and it's customer
satisfaction.
The energy is then in alignmentand you attract different kinds
(40:35):
of customers, but then thecustomers that work with you,
they're having a wholeexperience and they're feeling
seen and served and I think thatit's win, win, win, win in
every direction as far as thatgoes.
And it's sustainable, whichmeans that you can do it longer,
which means that it's all thethings that we want it to be,
(40:59):
it's all the things thatentrepreneurship promised, it's
all the things that it can be,because then you get to choose.
The more aware you are, themore you get to choose, and so
that's what I have for you todaythe benefits of taking
well-being and putting thatfirst over everything else.
(41:21):
It brings clarity and I thinkthat it causes a shift that will
then bring in all the otherthings that your business needs
to bring in for you.
So I'm living that myself,albeit on a.
As I said, I restarted mybusiness and, yeah, it's slow
(41:43):
and it's tiny and it's workingand it's wonderful.
And I think that when you, if Iwas doing a video and you were
able to see me doing my YouTubeblog which I haven't had the
courage yet to do to recordmyself, recording my blogs, my
podcasts but if you could see meright now, I am grinning from
(42:03):
ear to ear I have this hugesmile on my face because I'm
thinking about where I was twoyears ago, where I was a year
ago, and how much has changed inmy life, in my day to day, in
my home, in my business, andjust how good it feels.
So that's my offer for you guysIf there's a way for you to make
(42:27):
a change today, I offer youshift the priority to make
well-being the number one goaland everything else can stay in
the order that it's in.
Just move it down one notch andput well-being at the top and
start using well-being as thedriver for all the decisions
that are going to be coming yourway.
See what happens.
You know.
See what happens.
Let me know, because I'm super,super curious.
(42:48):
But that's what I have for youtoday.
Thank you so much for listeningand I'll see you online.
And remember, part of being acalm entrepreneur is developing
the systems, habits and know-howthat lets you know that you are
the one in the driver's seatfor your business.
You get to choose how you thinkand you get to choose how you
(43:12):
work.
So you got this, my friends.
Thank you for listening.
Hey there, my name is Corinne O'Flynn and you're
listening to the CalmEntrepreneur podcast.
I am a USA Today bestsellingauthor, non-profit executive and
organizing nerd with over 20years experience running my own
small businesses.
I teach entrepreneurs, solarpreneurs and small business
owners like you how to organizeyour business, find more time
(00:21):
and deepen your alignmentpractice to experience more calm
and confidence every single day.
If you're looking for thatintersection between practical
business advice and spiritualgoodness, then you're in the
right place.
So sit back, relax and let'sdive into this week's episode of
the Calm Entrepreneur podcast.
Welcome, welcome to the CalmEntrepreneur podcast.
(00:45):
I'm your host, corinne O'Flynn,and this is episode 34.
So I have a question for you,and it's something that I ask
everyone that I work with andeveryone who I ever meet who is
an entrepreneur, and it's whatif?
What if?
Well-being was the goal?
I think that it's really easyas entrepreneurs to get really
(01:08):
caught up in chasing the moneyand we get into business.
You know, we get into businessbecause we want to work for
ourselves and we want to supportourselves, and supporting
ourselves means, you know,paying our bills, and that
requires money and a successfulbusiness, and that's not up for
debate.
But what if we focused on ourwell-being and made that the
(01:30):
primary goal, so that we couldsustain ourselves and find
something that is lucrative andallows us to be fully ourselves
and attract our customers right?
And I think that asentrepreneurs, we get really
stuck in this feeling that wecan't pivot, and I'm learning
(01:53):
that more and more people arefinding that it's hard to make
the shift, because I truly dobelieve the Calm Entrepreneur.
My business came about you know, if you've heard me talk about
this at any point in the past asa result of a super deep
burnout that I went through andit lasted a couple of years and
it was years in the making, andthen it was years in the healing
(02:17):
and I'm still on my out ramp.
You know, I'm still on the exitramp out of a burnout.
I think it's a terrible place tobe and I think that it's so
easy to lose sight of the deeperwhy, beyond paying the bills
(02:37):
and beyond, you know, keepingthe roof over our heads and
keeping the lights on, you know,I think, that a lot of
entrepreneurs, in particular,you know, small business owners
you know we stay in misery whenthe opposite is what we need,
because leaving or pivoting iswhat's going to open those next
(02:59):
doors for us?
Right, it's so easy to stay inthe trap of a stressful,
unhealthy business situationbecause it's generating money.
You know, and I know thisfirsthand.
And I wonder you know, have youever been in a job where you
hate it, where the work is justthis soul-sucking thing and you
(03:24):
go to bed each day hating that.
You have to get up the next dayand go back to that work and
you vow that you will never dothis kind of work again?
Or have you ever been in asituation where you had a client
who you know, if you're aconsultant, and you're making,
you know, a nice hourly wage ora nice project by project income
(03:46):
?
But the client is such a painand this person is making you
bend over backward and do morethan you bargained for, or
they're really difficult to workwith.
And you come to the realizationthat you know, oh my gosh, like
I can't keep working for thisperson, no matter, no matter
what, it doesn't make adifference how much they're
(04:06):
paying me Like I need to firethis client.
And that's something that comesup a lot in a lot of the
business groups that I'm in.
In fact, people come into thegroup, one group in particular,
and they ask advice and they'relike well, here's the situation.
I am working with this clientand this is you know, I'm making
five figures off of this clientfor this, you know, six months
(04:26):
project, and this is not my onlyclient, but it's my largest
client.
Let's say, and these are theterms of the agreement, and now
it's become this, this, this,this, this, and it's killing me,
I don't know what to do.
And nine times out of ten, likein the dozens and dozens of
responses that come through, youknow, and my response as well
(04:50):
to those kinds of pleas foradvice is fire the client, like,
wash your hands of it, handthem off to someone else, tell
them that this is no longer whatthe deal was.
And I think that sometimespeople hear that and they think
that that's unprofessional.
But I think that we'reconditioned as business people
(05:10):
to put up with it because we'rebeing paid and I think that
there's the line, you know,there's a line between being
abused and, you know, beingtreated poorly in business.
But there's also this shift Ithink that we need to make as
entrepreneurs, where we get tochoose what we do, we get to
choose who we work with.
We get to choose everythingabout our business and I think
(05:36):
that we forget that and I thinkthat there are lots of reasons
why entrepreneurs in particularstay in losing situations or
these soul-sucking situationsand we rationalize why we can't
leave.
You know, and that's what Iwanted to talk about today
(05:57):
because I think that we forgetthe importance of our heart in
our business.
We forget the importance of oursoul in our business.
We forget how it feels to be awhole human, living a life and
running a business that we love.
You know, do you remember thelast time you sat down and said
(06:20):
I love what I do and I loveevery piece of what I do and I
get to choose who I work withand I get to decide the value of
what I'm providing?
I think that we forget and oneof the biggest reasons why I,
when I talk to the people that Iwork with, why won't you pivot?
(06:42):
What's going on?
Why are you still doing thisthing that you hate or that's
sucking you dry or whatever youknow, fill in the blank and the
number one reason is fear offailure.
You know, I don't want to giveup and I think that that causes
us to cling to a dysfunctionalbusiness or a dysfunctional
aspect of a business out of fearof being seen as a failure or
(07:04):
being judged as a quitter ifthey walk away.
You know, admitting defeat canfeel so devastating in that way,
and I think that even when,moving on is the thing that's
going to open the next door.
And I'm speaking to you assomebody who has gone through
that.
Like I have pivoted, I've donea 180 in my business, a 180.
(07:27):
And one of the first things thatI wrote about in my journal was
like I feel like I'm going toappear flaky.
It took a bit and it took metalking to my mastermind group
and they were all like Corinneappear flaky to who.
Like it doesn't matter.
Like you need to love what youdo You're the one sleeping with
(07:51):
you at the end of the day.
Like you need to be able to beat peace in your brain, in your
heart, in your body at the endof each day.
You need to Wake up the nextmorning and be like on fire for
the next thing that you're gonnabe doing.
And I think that we get socaught up in this, this fear of
(08:11):
being judged and also thisconditioning that says, you know
, only losers quit.
And I think it's possible to,you know, shift and stop
thinking about letting things goand, you know, pruning the, the
things that you don't want outof your business.
Stop, stop framing that asfailure, stop calling that
(08:32):
quitting.
If quitting is a negative wordfor you, you know, the quitting
is no longer a negative word forme.
It is like liberation let'stalk about, let's talk about
freedom, right, when it comesback down to like the core
essence of why are you inbusiness for yourself, why are
you running your own business?
And I think that you know, whenasked, most of the top three
(08:53):
answers will be freedom.
One of those answers is gonnabe freedom, right, it's it's
time freedom, it's work freedom.
It's location freedom, it'sfreedom to do whatever it is
that you actually want to dowith your life.
You know, and if your businessis the work piece that is
funding your life, that'swonderful.
(09:16):
If your business is actuallythis integrated part of your
everyday, that's wonderful.
You know you get to choose.
So I would argue, or I'd like to, you know, offer you the
alternative.
You know, stop framing quit asfailure.
And you know I we hear it sooften you know you're only.
(09:37):
You only fail if you quit.
And that's true, like I'm nottalking about giving up on your
business, I'm not talking aboutshutting it all down and saying
that you can't do it because youcan't you can't hack it, you
can't make it work.
I'm talking about sitting downand taking an inventory of your
business and identifying whatabout it is working and what
about it isn't working.
And when I say what is and isn'tworking, I'm not talking about
(09:58):
what's making money.
I'm talking about what'slighting your fire, what's
filling you up, what is speakingto you?
You're like your whole essence.
What is it about your business?
What pieces in your businessallow you to show up fully?
And I like this is somethingthat Everybody deals with.
I'm dealing with this.
(10:19):
I deal with the daily basis.
I'm like where is it that Iwant to be and who?
Who do I have to be to show upthe way that I want in my
business?
And it's a, it's a, it's a,it's a practice, it's the work,
right, it's every day.
This is the part of showing upthat that matters, right.
So my number one thing that cameup when I talked to other
(10:41):
people, and also something thatI have dealt with in the past Is
fear of looking like a failure,fear, a feeling like a failure,
and I would like to, I'd liketo offer that like let's, let's,
let's shift that, let's changethe language, let's reframe that
, and and grab on to the freedomand the beauty of we do have
(11:01):
the freedom to change our minds,we have the freedom to pivot.
Let's, let's take advantage ofthat.
Let's do it right.
So, if nothing else, I hopethat Out of this entire you know
conversation that I'm havingwith shifting the thoughts to
well-being, like any time youstart assessing your business
and I hope that you do I hopethat you take whether that be on
(11:24):
a weekly, month, like quarterly, yearly, whatever basis.
Ask yourself, you know, do Ilove this?
Do I still love this?
Do I love all of this?
What parts don't I love?
Can I change those things?
What if Well-being was thenumber one goal?
What if well-being was the goallike?
I ask myself that all the time,and I share that with every one
(11:46):
of my clients and all thepeople that I talk to all the
time, because I think that weneed to shift and I think that
we we must for our health, ifnothing else but mental health,
physical health, you know.
But go back to the why.
Why did you choose To get intobusiness for yourself and why
(12:08):
did you choose this as yourbusiness?
And I think that when youanswer those questions for
yourself, it's gonna go back topassion, it's gonna go back to
love and fire and all of thosethings.
And I think that you know whatif we kept those things as the
goals.
And number two thing that comesup all the time is finances.
(12:29):
Right, we're worried aboutmaking ends meet, we're worried
about feeling trappedfinancially in our business and
it's so tempting to stick with asteady income stream from your
existing business rather thanfacing that unknown that's going
to come if you pivot and I'm inthat right now Like I pivoted
(12:51):
from a lucrative author businessyou know doing really well.
I have three pen names.
I still write fiction, but it'sdefinitely taking a slower pace
from me because I have gottenback to the joy of why I became
a writer and you know thereasons why.
That fills my cup.
And I got caught up in chasingthe money and like really losing
(13:16):
sight of why was I doing whatI'm doing?
And you know, and I love thework that I did, I love the
stories that I wrote.
I'm still selling all of thosetitles, but I can't.
That's not a sustainable modelfor me anymore.
And I'm not saying that if youfind that the thing that you're
doing is no longer letting yourfire, that you have to totally
do 180, you don't.
(13:36):
But you know, if you took thepie chart of your business and
decided that you know thesewedges are doing great, but
these two wedges over here, I'dlike to really contemplate what
it would look like if thosethings changed.
That's what I'm talking about,and I think that we're so afraid
and like we are trapped in thefinancial piece of it and it's
(14:02):
difficult, it is reallydifficult to make a shift and
know that it's gonna cost youbecause it will.
It has to because you're givingsomething up in your business.
But it's expensive, likecompared to what?
Because if your health is atstake, you know if you get sick
because of the stress of yourbusiness, it doesn't matter how
much money your business ismaking if you can't, if you're
(14:24):
not here to enjoy it right, andI think that we all have heard
so many stories about that.
So if we're worried aboutmaking ends meet without the
income, then don't necessarilypivot and do a 180 tomorrow, but
maybe have a different strategy.
Like, talk about your businessin terms of all the different
(14:45):
things that you do and you know,off ramping some things and
make that a ramp that you rampdown.
Because when we're working andwe're really focused on the work
and the day-to-day and we're,you know, not really thinking
about the expansive view of thehorizon, we forget that by
(15:06):
keeping all of our energytrapped in this place we're
actually keeping those doorsclosed, like those other doors
don't open, because we'reholding them shut with both
hands because we're like nope,everything has to stay right
where it is, because I have toget all this stuff done.
If you feel like you're stuckin that hamster wheel kind of a
feeling and I'm not saying I'mnot calling it a hamster wheel
(15:29):
to judge this is not a valuejudgment.
If you feel like you'respinning because you can't stop
because the bills, that's legitand you are 100% not alone and
you're not wrong, there'snothing wrong with that feeling.
But if you are not happy withthe way that that feels, start
making an assessment about allthe different pieces that make
(15:51):
up your business and see whereyou can start to off ramp old
things to on ramp new things andsee what that feels like, see
where you do have wiggle roomand freedom of time and space in
your business, and explore thatand contemplate that.
The number one, the number threereason, the next thing that is
(16:13):
on my list of things that cameup when I talked to my people
about this was I don't wannawaste the time that I have
already invested in thisendeavor, right After pouring
months and years and long hoursinto building this business.
It's really hard to acknowledgethat time as a sunk cost right
(16:36):
and that sunk cost fallacy.
I think that it's.
We believe that if we just keepat it a little bit longer, then
we're gonna get the ROI.
Oh, and then we're gonna getthe ROI and then we're gonna get
the ROI.
It doesn't work like that.
It does for some, but for mostpeople it doesn't, and I think
that we can wish and hope all welike, but the reality is that
(17:00):
we have to make real choicesabout yeah, I spent a lot of
time and energy.
Yeah, I spent a lot of money.
I did those things and Ilearned valuable, valuable
lessons, and I also learned thatit isn't working the way that I
needed to work.
So I'm gonna pivot.
You have permission to do thatand I want you to give yourself
(17:23):
that permission.
And again, if you're working ina business and you don't know
where to pivot, don't pivot yet.
Start exploring it.
Like do a mind map, bring inpeople, create a mastermind
around this.
Like bring in trusted peoplewho can advise you on the pros
and cons.
Somebody who's not invested inyour business can see things
(17:44):
that you can't see.
Right and don't be preciousabout things.
Like be able to hear hardtruths and not take them
personally.
Like take yourself out of thatequation for a moment and look
at your business and listen towhat other people are saying
about what they see from whatyou're sharing and see where the
truth is right.
(18:04):
It's just an exercise, anexploration, but I think it's a
really valuable one and I thinkthat we get wrapped up in this
again.
This is kind of like quitting.
Like we feel like there's thislabel where we're calling
ourselves names because we'requitting.
We're calling ourselves namesbecause we're calling throwing
in the towel and crying uncle.
(18:25):
Right, we've already investedso much time.
We can't give up now and I justI don't subscribe to that
anymore.
I did and I don't anymore.
We in my family have had thatexperience where we've walked
away from without getting intoany details, because it doesn't
(18:47):
really matter.
We have walked away frombonuses because it's just too
much, it's not worth it.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me.
I'm losing my mind.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me, I'm gonna die of a
heart attack.
It doesn't matter what they'repaying me.
I wanna be home with my family.
Like we have to make a value onour own wellbeing, and when
(19:12):
wellbeing is the primary goal,when wellbeing is the priority,
it can't help but shifteverything else into its place
and wellbeing again wellbeing isnot.
We're gonna go off and live inthe forest and in forage and
sing songs by the fire and liveoff the land.
(19:33):
Well-being incorporates makingmoney.
Well-being is about beingsustainable right, it's about
filling your cup and havingenough that spills over into the
saucer and the saucer is whereyou give from.
But you can't do that if you'restressed out and stuck and you
feel like you're running in aloop.
You just it just doesn't work.
(19:55):
And I am trying to bring morepeople into this discussion of
making wellbeing the primarygoal, because I think that we
are in a crisis mode asentrepreneurs, because if you
spend any time online lookingaround at the things online, if
you spend any time on socialmedia, we are inundated with go,
(20:22):
go, go and you have to do thisnext thing.
And here's the next strategyand here's the next psychology
of selling and all thesedifferent things.
And yeah, you know what?
We need to be savvy businesspeople, but we're allowed to put
stuff on the back burner.
We're allowed to slow it downif we need to.
You know, I talk about the crazypush marketing, the really
(20:47):
heightened energy of the andpeople call it bro marketing,
and I don't wanna disparage menin this, but I call it cocaine
and red bull.
It's like you're sitting therewatching somebody who has just
taken like speed and they'relike and you have to, and yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, and we'regonna go to go to go to go to go
to go to, and that's wonderful,like they might have fantastic
(21:09):
strategies.
But what comes with that pushis all of these things like I
can't quit, I've already sunkcost.
Everyone else is having successand I'm not.
And you know, we judgeourselves and we assign value to
things that aren't necessarilyours.
We don't necessarily want allthose things.
We don't necessarily feel likethose things are what we would
(21:34):
count as successful, right?
So, all of those things aside,it comes back to it doesn't make
a difference how much time youhave invested in your business.
It doesn't make a differencehow much money you have already
invested into business.
It doesn't make a differencehow much planning you've done.
If you're miserable doing yourwork, it doesn't matter.
(21:56):
I would say it doesn't matterhow much money your business is
making.
If you're miserable in yourbusiness, that's not success.
And for me, anyway and I wouldlike to hand over this cup of
Kool-Aid to you to drink theKool-Aid with me and come over
to the light side, come over tothe place where we're focusing
(22:20):
on our energy and we're focusingon meditation and tapping in
and looking in and reallyconnecting not just with
ourselves but with our business,like if you treat your business
as an extension of you and youlook at your business as this
(22:42):
thing that is going to help youbuild a sustainable life or
maintain a sustainable life,while also bringing well-being
to you and yours.
That like what is that worth?
Right?
One of the next things and Ihave a list of the top 10 things
(23:03):
that came up when I asked thisquestion was doubt.
I doubt that I can secede again.
I don't have the confidence tostart fresh and I'm going to
tell you like this is somethingthat, again, this is one of the
things that I am currentlyliving through.
In pivoting my business, I wentfrom author fiction author,
(23:27):
full-time fiction author.
I'm now a part-time fictionauthor and it's wonderful.
But I shifted over to coachingand now I have been coaching
people for a really long timeand I've been doing lots of
iterations of the kind ofcoaching that I'm doing now with
the calm entrepreneur I haverecently brought in human design
and things like that.
(23:48):
But I did not have a businessdoing those things.
I was doing it on the side, asa thing that I was really good
at that people sought me out for, because they saw it in me and
said, hey, you know what, canyou help me with that?
And so now I've pivoted and Irealized that I really want to
do this full-time.
I want to make this thethree-quarter pie and authoring
(24:10):
a smaller piece of the pie, andthat has been such a humbling
experience, you guys, because Ihave a marketing background, I
have the tools and the skillsand the understanding of how all
of these things are supposed togo.
But I'm starting from zero.
Like I have an audience of 20people who I've served in this
(24:32):
capacity, but I don't have anaudience of 25,000.
Like I do on my author lists.
I don't have a following forpeople who are looking to me as
a coach, so I'm having to startthat completely from scratch and
it's been hard and it'shumbling in all the ways.
(24:52):
But doubt is a big part of that.
Do I have what it takes?
Will I succeed?
But I'll tell you I'm alreadywinning at this because, yes,
it's slow, but I don't thinkI've ever been happier and
(25:13):
coming out of a burnout, comingback into the on ramp of life
and living a full, lit up life.
I am so aware of how much joymy business brings.
I'm so aware of how still Ifeel inside, how right it all
feels, and I'm trusting thatit's going to continue to build
(25:38):
and all of those things aregoing to happen.
But the doubt piece is reallyinsidious.
There's this well, I don't knowlike, do I have the wherewithal
to hang in there long enough tokeep on chugging on this thing?
That's really tiny right now,but I love it.
It's tiny and it's fun and I'mgrowing my confidence to do this
(26:01):
in a professional capacitywhere I was doing it in an
unofficial way in the past.
So it's interesting because Ithink that a lot of people and I
was surprised that this came updoubt, they doubt that they can
succeed again.
And especially when you'vepoured everything into a
(26:21):
business that's not feeding you,that's not feeding your soul
and it's not filling you up inthe way that you wanted it to.
And I'm not talking again, nottalking about financially, like
it might be doing greatfinancially but you just don't
love it.
It's not something that you cansee yourself doing forever.
Doubt is a big piece of well.
(26:42):
I launched a business and itbrought me here how do I know
the next one's not going to bethe same thing.
Like it's kind of like impostersyndrome, right, it creeps in
and it makes that taking on of anew risk even scarier, because
it's like you know we're stuckin the devil, that we know,
right, we're comfortable withthe thing that we know.
(27:04):
And that's the next point on mylist.
Number five was beingcomfortable with the pain.
Like change is scary, change isstress-provoking, it causes
anxiety, right, and very often,in fact, a surprising percentage
of people feel like it'sactually better to stay in this
(27:32):
negative or toxic or whateversituation.
That's unpleasant because it'sfamiliar and you know the
certainty of the known thing,the certainty of that.
You know misery, because that'swhat it is.
It feels safer than theambiguity of change.
(27:53):
Like that, nebulousness isscary and you know fear of the
unknown keeps us stuck.
And I actually was reallysurprised with that one because
I think that of all the thingson this list, that's one that I
don't necessarily struggle withpersonally, like I am not averse
to making a different decisionand stepping off into the
(28:16):
darkness of the abyss and likelet's see, let's see where we
land and you know, maybe that isa privilege to be able to do
that, I guess.
But I was surprised that thiscame up as number five on a list
of 10.
I thought if it would show, Ithought it would be lowered down
.
The next one that came up wasfeeling an obligation to the
(28:37):
people that we work with, people, that we work for, the people
who have invested in thebusiness for us, the people that
are supporting us as we startedout in the business.
Or maybe you have employees orcontractors that you hire and we
don't want to let people down,right, walking away from a
business means, potentially,people are losing jobs, right,
or investors are losing money,and we wrestle with the feelings
(29:00):
of guilt, right, and shame.
And this responsibility that wehave given ourselves to those
who have counted on this ventureis succeeding.
But you know and again this isnot to say that you know you
need to shut everything down ifyou're not happy, like I think,
that there's degrees of this andthere's a way to.
(29:21):
You know, offload the thingsthat aren't working and in-road
new things that could possiblywork because they light you up.
And you know there's, I think,a way to.
If we picture it like a big,gigantic cruise ship, you know
that's not going to turn aroundon a dime, like that's not a
little drone that you get tospin the air and turn around the
(29:42):
other way.
This is something that needs toturn by degrees and it needs a
huge amount of space, right, weneed a ton of real estate to be
able to turn that ship.
And so think about it like that, like what one needle-moving
thing can I change to move us ona different trajectory by one
(30:04):
degree, five degrees, tendegrees, and not throw
everything out, because there'ssome things that are working in
your business, there are somethings that are lighting you up
in your business, and I thinkthat we also do get lost in, we
get bogged down in the one thingthat's not working and it feels
so heavy and it's like ugh.
So I think that the obligationthat we give ourselves and this
(30:25):
is something that we're puttingon ourselves this responsibility
to the business, thisresponsibility to outside forces
, you know how long are yougoing to continue beating the
thing until you decide that it'sdead, you know.
So, again, this is one of thosethings that demands attention
and you know it can be easy todo Just take inventory and see
(30:48):
what's happening.
There's another one that wasmentioned again more often than
I thought, and it was kind oflike the addiction to the
adrenaline rush of it, like thethriving on the intensity and
the drama of it all, like, forsome people, the non-stopness of
their business being on thebrink, like, if I don't get this
(31:09):
done, everything.
It's like dumpster fire that weget addicted to that.
That rush right and it makesfor an aliveness feeling where
we kind of like burn out or burnup everything in the day and
then go to bed like exhaustedand wake up the next day like
all right, let's do it again,and I think that that's a recipe
(31:33):
for disaster.
That is like you've hooked yourfishing line in the mouth of
burnout and you're just reelingit in, reeling it in, and the
harder you go, the faster thereel goes and the quicker that
thing is coming at you becauseyou're going to catch it, and
that's not well-being, that'sthe opposite of well-being.
And so I would love to.
(31:57):
If you are feeling like you'readdicted to the adrenaline rush
of the chaos and the drama andthat intensity of your business,
I would love to hear from youif you made the switch, because
I was in there in that placewhen I finally hit a wall in my
business with my fiction.
(32:18):
I was writing like a machine,and I'm not a machine and some
people are.
You know, some people cansustain that.
I, corinne, cannot do that andit was a rude awakening for me
personally.
And so if you feel like that'syou, where you know you don't
love it, but you do it becauseyou don't know any other way
(32:40):
than you know, maybe you're theone who's you know.
I don't know who needs to hearthis, but here's my, here's my
podcast for today.
Maybe, maybe you're the one whoneeds to hear this today,
because we don't realize thephysical and mental toll that
all of this brings on us, right?
We're caught up in theday-to-day and the doing and the
(33:02):
busyness of our business thatwe don't spend enough time
recognizing the damage thatwe're inflicting on ourselves,
on our relationships, on ourhealth, on our physical health
and our mental health, but onour happiness and our well-being
.
Like it's going to keep comingback to well-being, because,
like that's, that's the newthing for me, like the I, we are
(33:24):
moving forward into a newparadigm in the world and I
think that there are many morevoices joining the chorus of
this.
Well-being is, it has to be, thepriority and it's the
well-being of us and all of us.
You know, you and yours, me andmine all of our well-being and
(33:45):
doing business in a way that youknow is sustainable, not just
to us and ours and you and yoursand me and mine, but to the
world, right To be of service ina way that is more than just
filling our own cup and feelingour own wallets Like there's
(34:06):
another way to do it.
I, I believe, I, I know, I knowthat there's another way to do
it and I believe that there's ashift coming in in, like the
zeitgeist of entrepreneur land.
I think that we're shifting andI think that I want everybody
to just start thinking aboutwell-being, because when you're
(34:26):
working in a business that issustainable sustainable in the
way that it is filling you up,it is lighting you up, it is
filling your cup and fillingyour wallet you then become a
vessel for philanthropy, likegiving back, and that giving
back looks in all the differentfacets.
It's actually charitable.
Giving.
(34:46):
It is being available to yourpeople in a more sustainable way
, wholly arriving and beingpresent in all of your moments.
That sustainability is what I'mtalking about.
So the next thing on my list wasnot realizing the toll, right?
I just talked about that, but Ididn't enumerate it for you.
(35:08):
That was number eight.
Number nine is the beingoverwhelmed by the thought of
uprooting everything.
Right?
Like leaving a dysfunctionalbusiness or letting go of a
dysfunctional piece of yourbusiness can feel exhausting
because it's going to causeupheaval, and I think that when
(35:31):
you're on the precipice and theidea of changing just one thing
is enough to break you, that's ared flag, right?
That means that's like one ofthose things where, if someone
says, oh, I don't have, you know, meditate for 20 minutes, I
don't have 20 minutes tomeditate, and the answer is,
well, then you need to meditatefor an hour.
(35:51):
Right, if you don't have thecapacity to shift things in your
business, because just the ideaof making shifts in your
business is overwhelming, thenI'm going to say, then you need
to shift more than one thing inyour business.
So take a look at that and tryto do it without judgment.
Like all of these things Ioffer to you, I would like you
(36:13):
to take them on without judgment.
Like take an objective, look asobjective as possible.
Like we can't really be trulyobjective, but be as objective
as we possibly can and don't beprecious and don't let your ego
tell you that things are whatthey aren't or that they aren't
what they are.
Try to look at it, you know, asif it were someone else's
business, and see what you see.
(36:34):
Right, where can you make achange?
Because the rewards for makingthese changes are like bounty.
Bounty and like passion andenergy and increased capacity
for new things.
Right, opening more doors,letting go of things.
Like if you're in the hot airballoon and you've got too much
(36:58):
stuff, you let go of the ballastand you float up higher.
There's more available to you,but you can't see it because
you're stuck right.
So if that feels like you, thenI you know.
Then this again what if youshifted and made well being the
priority right now, like what'sone thing that you could change
today that would make thathappen?
And the last thing is, again,that's holding on for that ROI
(37:19):
piece.
It's hoping that the situationis going to improve by believing
that we can turn things around.
And I think that there'sthere's a point at which that
becomes an irrational thing.
Like you're instead of, youknow, prolonging the life of
your business, or prolonging thelife of this aspect of your
business, or this, the life ofthis project, or whatever it is,
(37:42):
there's a line that you crosswhere you're now just prolonging
the death of it.
Right, and I think that we knowwhen we get to those places,
but it's also really hard toadmit it.
So that's that's what I've gotfor you on my list of things,
because when we, when we reallylisten to our bodies and we
(38:03):
listen to our spirit and welisten to the words that we're
saying to ourselves about ourbusiness, and then we look at
them in the frame of well-being,you know.
We then start to see, I think,the benefits of embracing the
change.
We start to reduce unhealthystress and anxiety by ending
(38:25):
unsustainable business things.
Right, the relief that comes isimmediate.
Right, we can focus our energyon new passions, because when we
leave behind what isn't working, we create space to rediscover
purpose and joy and new passions.
And like again, that's thecliche like one door closes, one
door opens.
(38:45):
You can't open anything ifyou're holding on with both
hands to the things that arethere.
It strengthens ourrelationships because when we
release the pressure valve wecome back into our body and we
are more present, and that willenhance every relationship that
(39:06):
we have.
It also then starts to open ourminds to the possibilities.
Right, it takes away the fearof change because we are already
making change.
And if we make itty-bittyincremental changes, right, the
one degree trajectory change,the two degree trajectory change
.
And we start to see that, ohlook, I made this shift and I
(39:27):
didn't die and I made this shiftand oh my God, I'm so happy and
I made this shift and this hasbeen so fantastic for my
business.
The more we do it, the more werealize that we can do it, and
then it becomes exciting,because then we start to look
for the opportunities like wherecan I do this some more?
So I think that when we movethe priority list and we put
(39:49):
well-being at the top of thelist, it's a game changer and
it's a no-brainer.
I think that it will help usimprove everything creativity,
decision-making, productivity.
It helps with your businessculture, like if you do have
employees.
It changes the vocabulary.
It changes the language thatyou're using to speak with each
(40:12):
other.
It makes it a people-firstbusiness as opposed to a
business-first business, andthat sounds counterintuitive,
but I know that that works.
That's a business model thatworks.
It brings in satisfaction foryou and it's customer
satisfaction.
The energy is then in alignmentand you attract different kinds
(40:35):
of customers, but then thecustomers that work with you,
they're having a wholeexperience and they're feeling
seen and served and I think thatit's win, win, win, win in
every direction as far as thatgoes.
And it's sustainable, whichmeans that you can do it longer,
which means that it's all thethings that we want it to be,
(40:59):
it's all the things thatentrepreneurship promised, it's
all the things that it can be,because then you get to choose.
The more aware you are, themore you get to choose, and so
that's what I have for you todaythe benefits of taking
well-being and putting thatfirst over everything else.
(41:21):
It brings clarity and I thinkthat it causes a shift that will
then bring in all the otherthings that your business needs
to bring in for you.
So I'm living that myself,albeit on a.
As I said, I restarted mybusiness and, yeah, it's slow
(41:43):
and it's tiny and it's workingand it's wonderful.
And I think that when you, if Iwas doing a video and you were
able to see me doing my YouTubeblog which I haven't had the
courage yet to do to recordmyself, recording my blogs, my
podcasts but if you could see meright now, I am grinning from
(42:03):
ear to ear I have this hugesmile on my face because I'm
thinking about where I was twoyears ago, where I was a year
ago, and how much has changed inmy life, in my day to day, in
my home, in my business, andjust how good it feels.
So that's my offer for you guysIf there's a way for you to make
(42:27):
a change today, I offer youshift the priority to make
well-being the number one goaland everything else can stay in
the order that it's in.
Just move it down one notch andput well-being at the top and
start using well-being as thedriver for all the decisions
that are going to be coming yourway.
See what happens.
You know.
See what happens.
Let me know, because I'm super,super curious.
(42:48):
But that's what I have for youtoday.
Thank you so much for listeningand I'll see you online.
And remember, part of being acalm entrepreneur is developing
the systems, habits and know-howthat lets you know that you are
the one in the driver's seatfor your business.
You get to choose how you thinkand you get to choose how you
(43:12):
work.
So you got this, my friends.
Thank you for listening.
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