Buckle up and brace yourselves for a wild ride through the high-stakes world of music and scandal! We're launching into the fray with our signature mix of humor and sharp insights, taking on the recent controversies surrounding P Diddy. While we might be cracking jokes and brandishing offbeat props here, the allegations against the mogul are no laughing matter. We dissect his predicament with the same fervor we reserve for reality TV survivalists—case in point, we've got some thoughts on Ray from "Naked and Afraid" that you won't want to miss!
Prepare for a musical odyssey as we passionately debate the top 15 albums that have left indelible marks on the industry. From Adele's soulful "21" to Bob Dylan's "Highway 61 Revisited" and the cultural juggernaut that is Beyoncé's "Lemonade," we're not just recounting hits; we're questioning legacies. Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors" might find us in nostalgic agreement, but rest assured, we've got plenty of hot takes to keep the audiophiles arguing long after the episode ends. Join us for an episode that promises to entertain, provoke, and maybe even alter your musical allegiances.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, ai Morgan, here the original cancelled radio
guys only bring me out whenthey're pushed for time.
So here's Chris and Costello,also appearing, trump, lots of
musical stuff and their usualbullshit that has become so
popular.
Enjoy, chris and Costello, theoriginal cancelled radio guys.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello, this is Chris.
Hey, chris Costello, here Ijust like watching my iPhone out
here.
I don't understand the videothing.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
You know what I look at when I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I look at my microphone like a real
professional.
Are you just so?
For some reason?
You just so like?
Look at this.
You got a prop.
I got a prop today too.
It's like what Howie Mandelused to do all the time Go up
and blow up a glove.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Okay, I want to see if you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
He put it on his head .
I think this is the only waythis should fit my head's too
damn big.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, that's true, Ladies and gentlemen.
He has a surgical glove, whichhe is now blowing up.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This is what I call the five-finger contest, okay.
This is what I call the childin the back of the classroom.
Well, speaking of the funnything to bring up adolescent,
okay, because we have a littlebit of a theme here today, not
intentional.
Oh there it comes.
There comes the box.
So no bag over the head today.
(01:28):
We got the box, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
It is the box of anonymity and you look so much
better.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And now you've totally disappeared.
You put the box on and you'vegone from the screen altogether.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh good, I know you've done us a favor.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Thank you.
Okay, there you go.
All right, that's what Pete did.
He needed to be wearing sopeople would recognize him.
He got raided.
He's being sued.
The video came out of himbeating and kicking an
ex-girlfriend running down ahallway.
He's got a towel on, okay,right.
So I mean, there's no way outof this one, you know.
(02:05):
And now another one of thewomen who come out who is suing
him in the interview, in herdeposition, they ask her you
know, can you identify himwithout his clothes off?
The thing that stood out themost to her.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah, it's P Diddy's.
As she said his adolescent dick, so they're going.
Said his adolescent dick, sothey're going.
What do you mean by adolescentdick?
(02:25):
She goes.
She means in length and width,kind of like the dick of a
12-year-old.
No wonder P Diddy's angry.
All these women are laughing athis dick.
They're going.
Jesus Christ, a baby dick.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh, look at you and your penis.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Lovely.
That's where the anger comesfrom.
I mean not that it's any excusefor him doing what he's doing.
I hope they really slam him forall this stuff.
I mean you don't do that to awoman, you don't do that to
anybody.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
He could have that fixed, couldn't he?
I don't know, I mean booty.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well, there's a place that does.
They can't really dolengthening per se, but they do
widening.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
So, if you want, a wide RV dick.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
They can do that, but they can't really make it any
longer.
Apparently he has length andwidth issues.
Oh, I'm so sorry for him.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, you're talking about the belly button dick now.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, pretty much.
So they're going like okay.
So if what you say is true, thedefinition goes how can you
identify this?
To prove that, you know, yousaw him naked.
So she identified two tattooson his chest and his lower
abdomen, and then she talkedabout the baby dick.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
And is he going to drop his drawers in court?
That would be next.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
They may ask him to show his little dickie in
deposition.
Right, when they do all thesesex crimes, they always have to
do that.
So he's going to be like kiki,kiki, kiki.
I can blow up just the pinkyportion of the glove and do that
part and have that part.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, I mean, I think , there we go.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That part right there .
That's being too generous, Ithink.
Okay, never mind.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
And he's wearing a blown-up version of the surgical
glove with only one finger.
Yep Later in today's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm sorry, I don't know what you think about P
Diddy Costell, but I want to seehim.
I can't stand the man.
I never got to say what was theappeal to begin with?
How did a guy like that becomea billionaire?
I'm trying to think okay,where's the talent for it?
Maybe I missed out on it, Idon't know.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He put some rhymes together.
That's it right.
I mean, that's all he did, yeah, yeah.
And then he got one of theKardashians, didn't he?
That's his claim to fame, look.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And he also.
I remember at one point hedated Jennifer Lopez too.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Who.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Who is Jennifer Lopez ?
It's like who's the most blackman?
Is it Kim Kardashian orJennifer Lopez?
It's a contest, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Well, there you go.
And who made the worstridiculous stars out of them?
Well, I think we might have awinner here.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're both in a search for as many adolescent
baby dicks as they can find.
So I told you we had a themehere.
Okay, do you ever watch theshow Naked and Afraid?
You ever watch that?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, out oflove.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Hit it on me, started off so strong.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Make it and break it.
They always have a really ugly,gross woman, a really ugly
gross guy walking around thejungles naked, trying to survive
out there for weeks on end.
I guess Right, well, one of theguys you know, I guess the guy
I forget what his name is, Ithink it's Ray or something.
He's on the series currently.
(06:07):
He got the.
He looked down, he had thispain.
Here we go again on his dickand he looks down and he has a
tick dick he has a tick on hisdick.
Tick, dick.
Okay, so as the show calls it.
This episode is called Ticktick.
Okay, so as the show calls it.
This is what it's called.
Tick tick, that's what theycall it.
So they had to bring in themedical guy because they had to
(06:29):
have someone out there, becausethings happened and they showed
the pictures, kind of like apoor medical guy, him bending
over, he's trying to burn thetick off his dick and, of course
, the guy's making all theseexcruciating faces.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I think anything stuck to your penis would hurt.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
I think you know one, having a tick to get with
doesn't feel good.
Two, having it on your dick iseven worse.
And three, they have to burn itoff to get it to back out.
I mean holy crap.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
You know, you see the look on the guy's face and he's
just like Ladies and gentlemen,listening to us only in audio,
that was a look of surprise andhorror on Chris's face.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Thank you, I was thinking what video you could
add to this.
We've got baby dick, we've gottick tick.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
We got Richard.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
We can go back to the old episode when you had your
surgery for your heart bypass.
We have shaved dick with you.
We did yes, yes, indeed, we cango back to the old episode when
you had your surgery for yourheart bypass.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
We have shaved dick with you.
We did, yes, yes, indeed, wedid.
And then, of course, we had theschool trip out to Dick's.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You got that.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You've got Dick's in Nevada.
This is great.
Can you imagine working forthat company?
You have Dick's in Nevada.
Yes, we have about 42 Dick's inNevada.
This is great.
Can you imagine working forthat company?
You have dicks in Nevada.
Yes, we have about 42 dicks inNevada we do.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's all about the dicks folks.
We have baby dick dick, dick,shaved dick and dick score.
And dicks are us.
Oh, dick store, straw dick, yes.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Pin dick.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
If you want some more sporting good stuff, just go to
the big store dicks.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's it, not Pindick's, just Dick's.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Free advertising.
Plug Enough of Dick's.
We're going to talk a bit ofcontroversy this week.
As you know, they've done it acouple of times.
Rolling Stone magazine releasedback in 2003 what they
considered at that time the 100greatest albums of all time.
In 2003, when they did it, itwas mostly things from the 60s
(08:30):
and 70s.
They updated it in 2018, andthere's really not too much
people arguing with what RollingStone put out.
But this passed away forwhatever reason why they wanted
to do it.
Apple Music put out what theythought would be the 25 best
albums of all time, and this iscompiled by.
They were putting it up againstthe Rolling Stone thing.
(08:52):
It's a lot different.
This is compiled by you know,people on their staff and
writers and whatever, and sopeople have a shit fit over what
they came up with.
Okay, so you ready, costello,I'm ready.
So this is the.
You're a music guy, you're cameup with.
You ready, costello, I'm ready.
You're a music guy, you're backat me.
You got the radio because youlike music.
You love music.
Let's count them down and seehow you agree with these choices
(09:13):
from Apple Music.
What's going?
on 25 and down 25.
David Bowie's the Rise and Fallof Ziggy Stardust and the
Spiders from Mars 25.
Good choice, no.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Ziggy Blades.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Guitar.
I love David, but you don'tlike Ziggy Sardis, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
No, no, no, no, no, no, not at number 25.
Too high.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Too low, way too low, okay, okay.
24 is Daft Punk Discovery Okay,more of something new.
Alright, her electronic music.
It was pretty good.
My star good.
I don't know if Garner's top 2523, bruce Springsteen's Born to
Run Okay, run okay From yourback to death trap.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It's a suicide rap.
Gotta get up while we're young,cause tramps like us.
Maybe we're all In love 22, theBeatles Revolver.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
It was a very, very good album.
I even listened to it many,many years later.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, but it makes you wonder, like, okay, if
you're looking to put a Beatlesin top 25, it should be more
than one.
You've got to do Sgt Pepper's,You've got to do White Album.
Revolver was their first.
21 is the Beach Boys' PetSounds, which everyone agrees is
just a classic.
Yeah, number 20,.
Dr Dre, the Chronic Familiaryes, but don't know, would you
(11:16):
be too white for that one?
I would say so, okay.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Yeah, you know what I probably am.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Dr Dre is not trying to reach you as one of his
audience.
Okay, no, our cracking touchpoint number 19, taylor Swift
1989.
Taylor's version.
Okay.
I thought that was a stroke ofgenius on her part it was, and I
guess if you talk to Swifties,that is their favorite album of
Taylor is the 1989, taylor'sversion.
(11:45):
Right, okay, moving up thecharts here, this one.
The next one was number one onRolling Stone, but here it's
only like 18 with Apple.
That would be Marvin Gaye'swhat's Going On, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You can't see.
Oh, what's going on.
What's going on, yeah, what'sgoing on.
What's going on, what's goingon, yeah, what's going on.
Oh, what's going on, what'sgoing on.
Right on, right on.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
In the last Rolling Stones thing four years ago,
that was what they named asnumber one.
So how about that?
Oh, Next, Joni Mitchell Blue.
Good choice, no argument.
Okay, you might have a problemwith the next one.
We're in the top 15.
Adele 21.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Why would I have a problem with Adele?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Like Adele, I just don't know Great voice.
Great voice, but she's stuck inCaesars Everything's about
whiny shit, say, in the top 15,we've got Bob Dylan, highway 61
Revisited.
I'm not a big Dylan fan, so Ican't really say one way or the
other hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, he's trying to blow hisnose one way or the other, he's
(13:06):
trying to blow his nose up.
Okay, we got Jay-Z, jay-z, theblueprint.
Once again not In our wheelhouse.
We're two white guys and wedon't listen to Jay-Z.
I'm sorry, radiohead OKComputer.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Please could you stop the noise and try to get some
rest.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Hi, I'm Rob Radiohead .
Good to have you here.
Great, I'm surprised they chartso high actually, but all the
same, I don't have an argumentwith that, it's good.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So far it's interesting.
Okay, now here's where everyonestarts bitching.
We're getting ready to go intothe top ten.
You've got Fleetwood Mac rumors.
No argument there, I'm going tostick right out.
Then we've got Beyonce Lemonade.
But you've got to get quiethere in the old-caste hill part.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Well, it's all ballady kind of stuff now I'd
like a new one, but I don'tthink Lemonade was good, but the
Carter country?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
maybe as time goes on we'll reach that, but it's your
, I don't know.
Okay, next, no argument here,nirvana, nevermind.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No argument.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'm all for that one Amy Winehouse Back to Black,
absolutely I.
I'm all for that one.
Amy Winehouse Back to Black,absolutely.
I'm all for that one.
Next one once again, we don'tknow.
Kendrick Lamar, good Kid MadCity, get quiet again in the
studio, because Just tell himhis free time, doesn't pop into
(15:01):
your Kendrick Lamar and blast itin his speakers to driving down
the streets of Rednecks, northCarolina.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Who's an album with man City on it and it's gone
into the top ten.
Wait what?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
What With Kendrick Lamar.
Okay, all right, we're atnumber six.
I don't really have a problemwith this one.
I love this Stevie Wonder'ssongs and the Key of Life.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, that's again a masterful piece of musicianship
and production.
I would say you say masterfulpiece of music.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Masterful, yeah, it's really great, okay.
Okay, here comes the top five.
Here comes where people startreally wigging out.
Okay, number five Frank Ocean.
Blonde Also made top five onthe Rolling Stones list and you
know, I feel like an idiot.
I don't know what the hell thatis.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Blank Ocean, no Frank .
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Ocean.
The name of the album is called.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Blonde, don't know.
Frank Ocean.
Sorry, I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
In the Rolling Stones it always makes top five too.
What the hell is that?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I guess we'll have to go out and find out, won't we
Taking hold over me?
Do you still go too late Tocatch those snakes?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Memories Taking hold over me.
Do you still go too late Tocatch the snake?
That's our weekend homework.
(17:02):
We both have to go find out whois Frank Ocean and listen to
theonde.
Okay, I remember Billy Ocean.
Maybe it's his brother.
What Billy Ocean?
Okay, yeah sure, billy andFrank Ocean.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
There we go here we go Number four, known as the
Ocean Twins.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Sorry, you can't see stuff.
Number four Prince and theRevolution, purple Rain.
Number one I wouldn't saynumber one, but it's in top five
and it should be.
It's great, here we go gettingreally dicey People getting
pissy.
Number three the Beatles, abbeyRoad.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I guess I'd have to agree with that.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You notice there's no white album in the top 25.
Do you think Abbey Road isbetter than the white album?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Okay, so Abbey Road.
It's more accessible.
I like the white album thoughNumber two.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I've got no problem with number two here, okay?
Michael Jackson Thriller.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Well, the most commercial album that would ever
hit.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, I guess.
Well, it's like can you name analbum that has like hit after
hit, after hit after hit?
It's like Princess Purple Rain.
It had like five, six hits onthere.
These days you pick, youdownload a CD of eight to ten
songs and maybe one or two atthe most is good if you're lucky
and the rest is shit.
So you notice, so far, here weare at number two, getting ready
(18:31):
to debut the number one, whichreally pissed people off.
What is missing so far in thistop 25?
There's been no.
Some people go oh, there's norock bands in there.
There's no Whitney Houston.
Well, I mean, whitney had a lotof good songs, but did she have
a CD?
It was just full of tons ofsongs.
That's the problem.
Total CDs, not artists, is CDsor albums, if you want to go.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
This whole thing was being said there's nothing like
Led Zeppelin.
There's no.
Led Zeppelin no anything fromthat song.
Like Ozzy Osbourne, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
There's so many.
Here comes number one.
This is where everyone gotwigged out and weird.
So Rolling Stone had number one.
What's going on?
Marvin Gaye, because it waslike the lyrics are good, all
songs are great, they're timely,they're social, they're
revolutionary and they stillsound great.
I mean, all these things we'vesaid before in the top 10 could
(19:31):
have been easy, no problem,except for Frank Ocean Blonde.
We can't comment because wedon't know what the hell.
That is All right, right,exactly Number one.
Are you ready?
Would you like to take a guess?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I am, I'm all tingled .
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Go on, give it a shot .
What do you think?
Number one is no pressure.
Okay, you can't do it.
It's just your opinion, it'sokay.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
No, I'm just no as far as number one albums and
everything.
Personally, I think U2, boy.
Maybe that's going too far back.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
They put U2.
No, some U2 said they had50-plus.
Okay, but number one, are youready?
Yeah, yeah, the Miseducation ofLauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
So what was the next place you made?
When we heard about P Diddy'sBaby Day, I mean, I like Lauryn
Hill.
I thought that was a good album.
But number one album of alltime, oh, absolutely not.
Sorry.
Do you familiar with the LaurynHill CD?
(20:45):
We're talking about this numberone, are you?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
familiar, I'm familiar with her and it, that
kind of ballady thing, justdoesn't do it for me.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
People know Lauryn isn't all ballady.
She's good.
I think it's number one.
People are all pissy becausenow they're comparing it.
Okay, as compared to what theRolling Stones they did the top
100 albums of all time.
So they're comparing it andthey're way off.
It's like not even close.
I don't know how half the musicgets this half.
They just, you know, peoplejust get pissy and they're
(21:19):
pissed at this order and thisselection.
So you know everyone's got tosay it, so it's okay.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
So number one is Lauryn Hill.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Lauryn Hill yeah, rolling Stone says it's Martin
Gay.
Okay, rolling Stone says WhiteAlbum by Beatles has popped by.
Here they have Abbey Road.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Well, I mean anything .
Beatle pretty much should sitin those you know around there,
you know if you really want togo for it.
What about Little Richard?
What about Buddy Holly?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, you're talking about albums, remember, not
artists Complete albums thathave multiple great songs on
them.
I mean, that's the thing, buddyHolly, and they still do them
today.
What songs did you have on onealbum?
A whole bunch of songs thatwere good, yeah you did Peggy
Sue.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, oh God.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Peggy Sue and the Peggy Sue.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not true at all.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Peggy Sue.
What was his last song?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
It's all over now it was Buddy Holly's last song.
It's all over now.
It was Buddy Holly's last song.
It's called we're Going Down.
Remember that one?
Too certain, I think.
Oh, that's a hard landing,that's right, yeah, you go hard
landing.
That Christmas song.
It's cold outside.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
No, he didn't have multiple big songs on one thing.
Yes, he did.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Well, that'll be the day when you say goodbye, did,
but anyway, well, I guess wecould, we should.
In which case, then, people saywell, why don't you shut up and
do your own?
All right, we could.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You should.
I mean, I would defer that toyou because you studied music
more than me.
You're more of a connoisseur.
I don't think that's true.
You would have more familiaritywith all sorts of these things
than I would Show me that shirtyou're wearing today.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Show him that thing.
Wait a minute, wait a minuteShow him that thing.
This last comment of yours iscoming from a gentleman whose
house is held up by LP Records.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes, I can pick a hit single.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
His basement is made out of vinyl.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
LP records, gold and platinum records.
You are crazy, I have to putthat on the website one day.
But you can play me a single andI can tell you if this thing is
going to make it or not.
That's why I got those.
But as far as you go, I have myfavorite.
You know, there's some albumsthat are just so obvious.
You have somebody who has songsthat are like this one.
Did you see that?
You hear this one in theirEagles hotel, California?
(24:09):
Absolutely.
I mean, is it in the top 25Apple?
No, it's not.
Why the hell not?
So you can go in all day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got mine but I think you'dhave a deeper catalog knowledge
of more albums as a whole.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Well, I'm a top 40 man.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I'm a top 40 man.
I know singles.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I know hits you do, you do?
That's what I'm saying.
Well, between the two of us, weshould be able to get it pretty
well right?
I think you're more commercialthan me, because at that point
of history.
So it's a musical history.
Mind you, when I was workingfor you, we had the best moment
in musical history, I think.
(24:51):
I think we had some of the bestmusic.
I know.
People say, ooh, a lot of time.
I mean, you know, back with theBeatles and the Hollies and all
this.
Yeah, okay, that was good, thisstuff.
I'm going through themarketplace.
I'm going through Smith's orAlbertsons everybody knows where
they are food markets, okay.
And what do I hear?
I hear 80s music coming at us.
(25:15):
I'm hearing Madonna.
I'm hearing REO Speedwagon notthat I particularly like them,
but all the music you know CoreyHart, sunglasses at Night and
stuff like that.
That was just a little.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Those guys like that may only have one or two good
songs, but the point is theywere big hit songs and they
still stand up.
There are a lot of singles outtoday that are popular for the
moment, but you can tell, I cantell anyway that they're not
going to stand up over even ayear or two from now?
Absolutely, I'm sorry, I'm justnot going to.
(25:52):
I can tell which ones are andwhich ones aren't.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
That I can still do.
We don't have access to themusic that's out there.
What if I?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
said that's a lie.
I listen to current music allthe time just to be fair and
gauge Okay, let me hear what'sout there, let me hear this guy.
I've heard about this guy andthis person is good.
But you know, you hear one songthat's kind of neat and then
the next two or three releasessuck, you know.
So it's hard to sustain.
(26:20):
You know, and even in your hitsong I've been number one three
weeks in a row and I listen toit and I'm going it's not going
to be around two or three years,it's not going to make it.
It has no staying power, nosustainability.
I agree completely.
I mean, so we're going to beplaying Save Me by Jelly Roll
(26:41):
four years from now.
Yeah, it has enough going forit by Jelly Roll four years from
now?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Yeah, it has enough going for it.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
The one needed favor.
I think Desk has good stayingpower.
Same me, I'm 50-50.
Needed favor.
I think will stand up for along, long time.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, only talk to Gob when I need a
favor.
It's kind of like what you doyeah, yeah, yeah, okay, only
talk to Galvin and he'll do youa favor.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
It's kind of like what you do Costello, Exactly
Same thing you do.
Only talk to Galvin and he'lldo you a favor.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
God, give me back my two-seater car.
No, I'm not going to listen toyou, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Okay, yeah, and I'm still arguing with the insurance
people with that funnily enough, that's right, come on.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Costello, show him the freaking T-shirt.
We're talking about gettingthat T-shirt up there he is.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
There's Costello's cousin, elvis Costello.
Elvis Costello, indeed, that'sa revelation.
This is from my Name, is True,although this is just something
somebody put together.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Well, some people would say one of Elvis
Costello's albums should be inthe top 100.
I think one of them is probablyit, or it is.
What does that say in the back,elvis Costello?
Let's read it backwards, okay.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
But here's the interesting thing, it's
backwards to you, you seebecause it is backwards to me,
yeah, but to me.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
I was reading it and said yep, you get it.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
This came with an enormous volume of work from day
one to I think it ended up with.
Oh which album was that?
The first three.
The first three albums came ona CD package and beautifully
done, beautifully put togetherin a nice big box, and it had a
T-shirt in it.
(28:30):
He says it like a trueEnglishman would.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It is beautifully put together.
That's the way Prince Charlestalks, how King Charles gives
you.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
It's beautifully put together.
That's it.
You've got it, you see.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's beautifully put together.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
You have to just stretch that mouth out like a
spider.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
She's not beautifully put together.
I wouldn't say she's like ahorse.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
What it is when I give lessons in elocution.
You notice that you have toactually move your lips.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
He does.
He kind of talks through histeeth like this.
That's a dumb American twit.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Exactly my boy.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Dumb American twits.
We're building our Trump radiostation but until we have it all
ready to go, we do have to playa Trump highlight.
If there's court appearancesand in between that, he'll do a
rally.
Court do have a Trump highlight.
If there's court appearances inbetween, that, he'll do a rally
.
Court appearances do a rally.
It's up to date for the week, wehave an update from the Trump
(29:36):
to Trump trial in New York,which should be coming to a
close any day.
If they find him guilty, arethey going to recommend jail
time?
Are they going to have theballs and do it?
Do it, do it.
He'll pay some in jail.
I mean, that'd be just besomething to see.
But anyway, here we go Live toNew York and the trial of Trump
(29:57):
to Trump.
Here's this week's thing.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
All rise Court is in session.
The Honorable Judge JuanMerchan is on the bench.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
OK, everyone, it's day eight of this trial.
Let's try to keep things moving.
Counsel for Mr Trump will begincross-examination of witness
David Pecker.
Ha ha, I said Pecker.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Good morning, mr Pecker, if that's your real name
Now, mr Pecker and I'm sorry, Ijust can't say it enough Mr
Pecker, isn't it true that myclient Donald J Trump is a
flawless human being, pureperfection, and he has no
butthole and he has never, everdone anything wrong?
Mr Pecker, pecker, it's just MrPecker.
You just say my last name onetime and I really can't say if.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Mr Trump, trump, huh, what, uh, what?
If you want to sleep throughyour trial, you're free to do so
, but the loud snoring isdisturbing the court.
Counsel, please advise yourclient to refrain from snoring.
You may continue, counselor.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Thank you, your Honor .
Now, Mr Pecker, Pecker, Pecker.
Isn't it Pecker, that youpeckered your pecker?
Yo, what the fuck.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
What are you doing, man?
Mr Trump, trump, huh, what, uhwhat, mr Trump?
This court has warned you aboutthe snoring, but now you are
snoring and farting.
This is your last warning, mrTrump.
Stop snoring and farting, orI'm going to just declare you
guilty and lock your snoring,farting ass up.
Oh God, the smell.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, man, it straight-up stinks in here.
Your Honor, my client deniesfarting and is incapable of
farting because, like KimJong-un, he has no butthole and
has never farted.
And I would move that Mr Pecker, pecker, pecker, pecker,
pecker's comments be strickenfrom the record.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Okay, I'm inclined to declare a recess so the court
can be aired out.
But seriously, he's doing itagain, mr Trump, mr Trump, huh,
what, what, all right, that'senough.
Donald J Trump, I herebydeclare summary judgment on your
fat, worthless, snoring,farting ass and find you guilty
(32:01):
of all charges.
You are sentenced to 20 yearsto serve in the stankiest hole
in Rikers Island.
Court is adjourned.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Oh, we're back doing this.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
All right, okay, and there we are, and so it goes.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I can jerk two people off at the same time.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Hang on a second.
I've got Pete Diddy here.
It's difficult to find.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Wait, diddy, back.
Wait a minute, diddy.
If you're gonna, you need towear your condom there.
It is the little thing.
It went limp, just like he did.
Baby Dick is gone limp man.
Baby Dick gone limp.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
It's gone.
Limp, limp Dick.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Ladies and gentlemen of thelistening audience, mr Bailey is
now.
I'm sorry, I can't even explainwhat he's doing with that.
Mr Bailey is now.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I can't even explain what he'sdoing with that, but it has to
do with his mouth and thatsurgical glove.
Later on in the broadcast,chris will be bending over with
(33:06):
the surgical glove.
That will be fun, won't it,children, let me set that up.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Okay, that went.
Oh, trying to get one to feellike pee diddy, it just snaps
right off.
There's nothing to hold it up.
There's nothing to hold it up.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
You know what this reminds me of?
This is kind of like the backrow of a bunch of kids at school
, you know, not listening to theteacher.
We're having our ownconversation.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
I did that.
That was that way.
Weren't you that way?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
No, no, I wasn't that way.
Go ahead, mary.
I was in the middle trying tobe, you were a good student.
No, I wasn't.
So there I was in the middletrying to be just camouflaged by
all the other kids.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
It worked very well actually, oh, you weren't with
the cool kids.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
I was there with the cool kids, but I made sure that
I didn't stand out.
Mind you, I was 6'2 by thatpoint, so it's a little
difficult not to stand out.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
They're going dude.
Come on, turn the basketballteam, get on with it.
Come on, shoot some moves.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I might have been a basketball star, but we don't
have that in England.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
They had a name for you when you played basketball.
It was like what was it called?
Oh, airball, that was yourairball.
Yeah, it's another airball.
Missed that?
No backboard, nothing but air,air ball.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Nothing, but nothing but nothing.
No net, no net.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
No sound of a swish, no swish.
Just air, just air, just air.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Hey, I'm really happy to report that my neighbors
have given up on the theyThey've quit playing outside at
least, so I actually got a wholenight's sleep.
It's great.
I highly recommend it.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Is it getting too hot for them to play outside there
it might be 90 degrees 90degrees.
Well, it's too hot to beoutside.
You can't go inside with the AC, yet Put a bonfire on the
inside.
Good yeah that works out for it.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, and put their hoop in there and scream and
yell at each other.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Well, we've got to know, because this is a sequel
to last week's show.
How is the new Costello mobiledoing?
How's your new car doing?
Have you been out cruising inyour new car?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I have driven it a few times, you know what it
really is like.
Okay, that little two-seaterred two-seater People will come
up to me and say, wow man, greatcar.
I mean, this used to happen allthe time.
Yeah, nice car.
Man, you're not going to getthat, not at all.
I mean, if this thing meltsinto the background so well.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I'll never get a speeding ticket.
Is that what you want?
Let me stand up.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
It would have been nice to have something, to have
a little bit of panache.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Why don't you just trade in what you got?
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'd lose so much money.
I think it's guaranteed for 45days.
No, this is good.
It's not what I want, but it'swhat I need.
Okay, I'll get what I wantlater and I've got the
motorcycle.
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You've got to get what you want later and I've got
the motorcycle, that's cool.
You gotta get what you want,not what you need.
It's kind of like people gowhat's what's gonna make me
happy and I said well, in yourlife and work and in playing
whatever, very simple sportwords.
It's very simple.
It's called do what you love.
If you do that, you're right.
Drive what you love, not thething you have.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Oh, I know you can talk about that with your 70s.
What year is your car?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
77?
1968, sir, oh my.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
See, huh Well, I can't go back that far with my
cars.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
It's fun to get in there because you've got to roll
the windows down manually.
You know it has a littleloosest in the way.
It's an old car man.
It's over 50 years old, 60years old, 60 years old.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Now wait a minute.
68 to 56 years old.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yep, yep, that is Driving a car that old.
What does that feel like?
Now, wait a minute.
68 is 56 years old.
Yep, yep, think about thatDriving a car that old.
What does that feel like?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
But my car is no.
No, it's going to be fine, it'sgoing to be fine.
I'll tell you what I do likeabout it is the moonroof.
That's really cool.
That's a nice, because it alsohas, like this, filter.
It has a heat filter.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
You guys about the moon.
You had a freaking convertibleand you're excited over a
moonroof.
You had the whole freaking topdown.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
I have to be, I haven't changed your name.
It can't be airball anymore.
Now it's going to be airhead, Iget that.
Okay, well, it will be with thefew hairs that I have left.
I was thinking, though, of some, you know.
I was thinking, though, of youknow I was here we go.
Well, no, I was thinking thisis a video thing too, because,
(38:02):
ladies and gentlemen, inRadioland, costello is now going
to try and explain his hair.
There's not much of it, but Ialways kept it at like a number
three or a number four.
You know which is pretty short.
You know which is pretty short.
You know, policemen, don'tbother you when you've got that.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So you use a clipper and cut your own hair?
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
I've been doing that for years and years and years,
so I thought I'd try and let itgrow, and it's the most horrible
, irritating thing I've evertried to do.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Well, you know, as you get older and you use your
hair like that, you have to letit grow longer so you can do the
comb over, the comb around andthe swoop you do but the thing
of it is, none of it grows atthe same rate.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
On the sides it's bushy and on the top.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
That hair is predetermined to live and grow
forever and that's why you don'tlose it.
That's why it's thick and itgrows faster than genetically
weakened, dying hair.
In the rest of your headthere's, there's your genetic.
Let's have a pair loss fortoday.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Well, as you can see, it's okay.
I don't think I'm going to growit out.
I think I'm going to go back tonumber three or number four.
I have a solution for you, sir.
I'm sure you do.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You need to come back to Vegas and we'll do a hair
transplant on you.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I couldn't afford a thing like that, and let's do it
live, don't pay for it.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
It's free in Knucklehead.
We do it for free.
We'll do you a cost for free.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Total makeover If you bring your carcass back here to
Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I will tell you, we'll do your hair transplant
for free and we'll just carry itlive here on our show.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
How can you save that ?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Okay, somebody hit record $1,000 procedure you are
getting for free.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
That and some testosterone who's?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
your daddy.
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Listen, by the time that happens, we'll be far away
from Vegas and some other place,doing this for lots of money.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Wherever we are, we'll do your hair transplant
for free.
It's a standing offer.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
All right, I may well take you up on that.
You never know.
You want hair transplant.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
I'm putting it right here on this show you want hair
transplant for free.
That offer is always standingOkay, don't delay, act today.
Call now.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
I'll tell you what.
If you were to email Chris andCostello at Yahoocom, we could
give you all the information youneed on that.
Not free bit.
That's just for me, because I'mspecial.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I'm thinking, while you're in here we'll cover your
head and just to make it fun,we'll put some hair down your
back for you.
We'll give you a nice big hairyback, you know, no thanks.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
I dreamt, maybe I saw this on TV.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Why is there a freaking bug on my board?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
Springtime bugs are up, no no, no, no, I was
watching and I can't rememberwhich show it was, but it was
really funny.
It was like three black womenin a ship on dresses, you know,
doing their supreme bit and asfar as I know this was like a
reel and they, like one, turnedaround and took off, the other
turned around, took off, thethird one turned around and she
(41:07):
had back hair from hell.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Oh Well, I guess we know that was actually a she-he.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
Okay, She-he-he I guess we know that was actually
a she-he okay, I guess so.
I guess I heard that.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
You're watching the Supreme Drag Show.
You should know that's prettycommon.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
A drag Diana Ross Boy ?
That'd be funny.
You know she's too skinny forthat.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Didn't have to Right, we got to run.
Look at our cool picturesbehind us, the Chris and
Costello Original Castle Radioguys Cool artwork that we have.
Those guys have hair and youtoo, costello, can have hair
Free hair transplant for you wewill talk about it.
Right there in your head.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Just put it right up there, just a bit there and a
bit there.
That would be really kind ofcool.
Give you a hairline back here'sa question here's a question.
Everybody wants to know whatcolor does it grow back?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
the color, the hair in the back, the color of the
hair in the back and sides ofyour head, which is where we
take it from to replenish thetop.
Whatever color it is, it'sgoing to be salt and pepper, a
little heavy on the salt withyou.
That's the way it's going to be.
What do you do?
Like other people do, who dothis, you color no, really.
So what.
Who cares what color it is?
(42:34):
You're going to have hair upthere.
Who gives a shit what color?
It's going to be white, it'sgoing to be all hair.
You have hair.
It's a fun problem to have.
Do I keep it white?
Well, I used to color it.
I put in some highlights, I putin some lowlights.
I mean, it's up to you.
Do what you want.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Right then.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I'll be right over.
Go book a plane ticket.
The hell drives you Right,right.
Oh, the family car, the SUV,svu, law and order, whatever it
is you're driving.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, that'd be interesting.
All right, all right, we'llhave to do that, and by the time
we get that done, we'llprobably be fully audio and
video compliant.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Send us an email.
If you want to see Costello geta hair transplant live on the
show, Let it be known.
Send us an email.
What do we send emails toCostello?
Where do you?
Speaker 3 (43:28):
go ChrisandCostello at Yahoocom.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Simple enough, chris and Costello Our website.
Subscribe to our show Livecosmetic surgery on this podcast
.
I mean, I'm talkingGroundbreaking stuff right here,
Ben, oh my gosh, what's goingon?
Costello's bleeding out.
No, I'm just kidding, thatdoesn't happen.
That doesn't happen.
Doing it?
Joan Rivers, I hate todisappoint you because I know
(43:56):
the last time you had a surgeryyou had your dick shaved.
But for the hair transplantthere will be no shaving your
dick, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
I see, well, actually , yeah, I was supposed to have
some what do you call theminjections in my neck today
because of the car accident andeverything.
And so I said to the guy I saidwhat is it exactly that you're
putting in here?
Oh, it's just some hormones andthis, that and the other.
And the guy said which hormonein particular and which is the
(44:23):
one they use the most, chris,yeah, come on, you've got to
know what's the one that getslike deflamation and stuff like
that they give you, because I'vejust forgot the name of this
damn hormone, never mind.
Anyway.
So he says it was this kind ofhormone.
I said I told you.
(44:44):
I said I can't take that, ohreally.
I said yeah, it really screwsmy head.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
You went about growing some boobies.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
No, it wasn't that kind of hormone Hormones when
you don't pay.
We'll be back with more jokesand clips like that later.
Ladies and gentlemen, oh gosh,as usual, it slips my mind when
I need it most, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
If you left the poor hair in your head, you wouldn't
forget this shit.
There you go.
You see, it's what it is.
Anyway, you go get your hormoneshots.
I got to go back to work, I'mnot.
I'm not the hair transplant'sout there for free, so let it
happen.
Let's hear it from ourlisteners, especially our big
contingency in Asia and SaudiArabia, and even Costello's home
country of England.
Who wants to see Costello get ahair transplant?
(45:32):
Everybody do Everybody to seeCostello get a hair transplant.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Everybody do, everybody do.
That's Trump doing his thing.
Everybody do, everybody do.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
All right.
Well, how exciting, gosh.
All right, there he goes again.
Gosh, hey, how'd you get here?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
You realize that is a piss take of.
Well, you wouldn't, becauseit's an English thing, it's
English.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
This show, exit, is strictly American.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
See.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Diddy and your old adolescent dick.
Cool, that'd be fucking cool.
You're going to be squealing,buddy, he's squealing.
It's like go on, get it Squeal.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You want to do that.
We need to do that now, don'twe?
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Take off my dick.
Yes, we do.
It did tickle my neck Squeal,squeal.
Pete did his baby dicks.
They're not squealing, theycan't feel it.
Is it it yet?
Maybe not Well.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
I'm.
It's wonderful.
It's been a wonderfulexperience and I think an
audible show that we can bothunderstand makes a nice change.
And maybe next week, when wehave the radio station together,
you will be the first to know.
Of course, chris and Costello.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Leave me with this thought, and we'll close with
this thought.
Tick, tick, and we'll closewith this thought.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Tick tick.
Okay, I guess that's one I'mgoing to look up.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Huh, what's that Tick tick Is there a song called
Tick Tick, Naked and Afraid.
Naked and Afraid.
It's on the TV show.
The guy got a tick on his dick.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Okay, I'll check it out.
I'll find somethinginappropriate.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
There's Costello.
We'll do it with an airtransplant for free.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Okay, man, we'll probably take you up on that
Come stay with Allison again,does Joey?
Speaker 2 (47:28):
get one from the basement.
No, does Marianne get one?
No, costello gets one, marianneneeds one.
No, costello gets one, marianneneeds one, she's been through a
lot of shit.
Yeah, I mean Cancer, breastcancer.
Yeah, that would do it.
I guess All that shit willcause male fume, trauma and all
(47:50):
that stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
You lose your hair.
I don't think that bold womenin fact, I think some bold women
are very attractive thechildren.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
That explains your going in to eat over a tornado.
I like the tornado corner,isn't it?
Speaker 3 (48:08):
But she did that through choice, yep.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
No, oh, just think Miley Cyrus shaved her.
There you go.
Think Miley Cyrus shaved yourhead.
There you go.
Think if Miley Cyrus shavedyour head, you'd never come out
of the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Why doesn't this thing work?
Why doesn't this thing work?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Good thing I got to go Castello.
Thanks, that was fun.
Yeah, all right, very good,I'll forward that last thing you
sent me along to the Frenchboys to see what they do.
This will be interesting, okay.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Alrighty Cool, let's hope I got it right?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I can't believe it.
I said I know what you wentthrough.
I went what the hell's going onhere, so I can call my bank.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
What the fuck?
He goes not our end.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Didn't think so, alrighty, okay, I'm definitely
pressing end recording this time, not in five hours time, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I'm pushing.
Leaving the studio, leaving thestudio.
Oh, that's the one.
Speaker 5 (49:04):
Yeah.
Hey, ai Morgan, here the original cancelled radio
guys only bring me out whenthey're pushed for time.
So here's Chris and Costello,also appearing, trump, lots of
musical stuff and their usualbullshit that has become so
popular.
Enjoy, chris and Costello, theoriginal cancelled radio guys.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello, this is Chris.
Hey, chris Costello, here Ijust like watching my iPhone out
here.
I don't understand the videothing.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
You know what I look at when I'm doing this.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I look at my microphone like a real
professional.
Are you just so?
For some reason?
You just so like?
Look at this.
You got a prop.
I got a prop today too.
It's like what Howie Mandelused to do all the time Go up
and blow up a glove.
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Okay, I want to see if you can do it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
He put it on his head .
I think this is the only waythis should fit my head's too
damn big.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Well, that's true, Ladies and gentlemen.
He has a surgical glove, whichhe is now blowing up.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
This is what I call the five-finger contest, okay.
This is what I call the childin the back of the classroom.
Well, speaking of the funnything to bring up adolescent,
okay, because we have a littlebit of a theme here today, not
intentional.
Oh there it comes.
There comes the box.
So no bag over the head today.
(01:28):
We got the box, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
It is the box of anonymity and you look so much
better.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
And now you've totally disappeared.
You put the box on and you'vegone from the screen altogether.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Oh good, I know you've done us a favor.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Thank you.
Okay, there you go.
All right, that's what Pete did.
He needed to be wearing sopeople would recognize him.
He got raided.
He's being sued.
The video came out of himbeating and kicking an
ex-girlfriend running down ahallway.
He's got a towel on, okay,right.
So I mean, there's no way outof this one, you know.
(02:05):
And now another one of thewomen who come out who is suing
him in the interview, in herdeposition, they ask her you
know, can you identify himwithout his clothes off?
The thing that stood out themost to her.
Are you ready for this?
Yeah, it's P Diddy's.
As she said his adolescent dick, so they're going.
Said his adolescent dick, sothey're going.
What do you mean by adolescentdick?
(02:25):
She goes.
She means in length and width,kind of like the dick of a
12-year-old.
No wonder P Diddy's angry.
All these women are laughing athis dick.
They're going.
Jesus Christ, a baby dick.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh, look at you and your penis.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Lovely.
That's where the anger comesfrom.
I mean not that it's any excusefor him doing what he's doing.
I hope they really slam him forall this stuff.
I mean you don't do that to awoman, you don't do that to
anybody.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
He could have that fixed, couldn't he?
I don't know, I mean booty.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
Well, there's a place that does.
They can't really dolengthening per se, but they do
widening.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
So, if you want, a wide RV dick.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
They can do that, but they can't really make it any
longer.
Apparently he has length andwidth issues.
Oh, I'm so sorry for him.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Well, you're talking about the belly button dick now.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yeah, pretty much.
So they're going like okay.
So if what you say is true, thedefinition goes how can you
identify this?
To prove that, you know, yousaw him naked.
So she identified two tattooson his chest and his lower
abdomen, and then she talkedabout the baby dick.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
And is he going to drop his drawers in court?
That would be next.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
They may ask him to show his little dickie in
deposition.
Right, when they do all thesesex crimes, they always have to
do that.
So he's going to be like kiki,kiki, kiki.
I can blow up just the pinkyportion of the glove and do that
part and have that part.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Well, I mean, I think , there we go.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That part right there .
That's being too generous, Ithink.
Okay, never mind.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
And he's wearing a blown-up version of the surgical
glove with only one finger.
Yep Later in today's broadcast.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
I'm sorry, I don't know what you think about P
Diddy Costell, but I want to seehim.
I can't stand the man.
I never got to say what was theappeal to begin with?
How did a guy like that becomea billionaire?
I'm trying to think okay,where's the talent for it?
Maybe I missed out on it, Idon't know.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
He put some rhymes together.
That's it right.
I mean, that's all he did, yeah, yeah.
And then he got one of theKardashians, didn't he?
That's his claim to fame, look.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
And he also.
I remember at one point hedated Jennifer Lopez too.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Who.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Who is Jennifer Lopez ?
It's like who's the most blackman?
Is it Kim Kardashian orJennifer Lopez?
It's a contest, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Well, there you go.
And who made the worstridiculous stars out of them?
Well, I think we might have awinner here.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're both in a search for as many adolescent
baby dicks as they can find.
So I told you we had a themehere.
Okay, do you ever watch theshow Naked and Afraid?
You ever watch that?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, out oflove.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Hit it on me, started off so strong.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Make it and break it.
They always have a really ugly,gross woman, a really ugly
gross guy walking around thejungles naked, trying to survive
out there for weeks on end.
I guess Right, well, one of theguys you know, I guess the guy
I forget what his name is, Ithink it's Ray or something.
He's on the series currently.
(06:07):
He got the.
He looked down, he had thispain.
Here we go again on his dickand he looks down and he has a
tick dick he has a tick on hisdick.
Tick, dick.
Okay, so as the show calls it.
This episode is called Ticktick.
Okay, so as the show calls it.
This is what it's called.
Tick tick, that's what theycall it.
So they had to bring in themedical guy because they had to
(06:29):
have someone out there, becausethings happened and they showed
the pictures, kind of like apoor medical guy, him bending
over, he's trying to burn thetick off his dick and, of course
, the guy's making all theseexcruciating faces.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I think anything stuck to your penis would hurt.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
I think you know one, having a tick to get with
doesn't feel good.
Two, having it on your dick iseven worse.
And three, they have to burn itoff to get it to back out.
I mean holy crap.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
You know, you see the look on the guy's face and he's
just like Ladies and gentlemen,listening to us only in audio,
that was a look of surprise andhorror on Chris's face.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Thank you, I was thinking what video you could
add to this.
We've got baby dick, we've gottick tick.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
We got Richard.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
We can go back to the old episode when you had your
surgery for your heart bypass.
We have shaved dick with you.
We did yes, yes, indeed, we cango back to the old episode when
you had your surgery for yourheart bypass.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
We have shaved dick with you.
We did, yes, yes, indeed, wedid.
And then, of course, we had theschool trip out to Dick's.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
You got that.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
You've got Dick's in Nevada.
This is great.
Can you imagine working forthat company?
You have Dick's in Nevada.
Yes, we have about 42 Dick's inNevada.
This is great.
Can you imagine working forthat company?
You have dicks in Nevada.
Yes, we have about 42 dicks inNevada we do.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's all about the dicks folks.
We have baby dick dick, dick,shaved dick and dick score.
And dicks are us.
Oh, dick store, straw dick, yes.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Pin dick.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
If you want some more sporting good stuff, just go to
the big store dicks.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
That's it, not Pindick's, just Dick's.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Free advertising.
Plug Enough of Dick's.
We're going to talk a bit ofcontroversy this week.
As you know, they've done it acouple of times.
Rolling Stone magazine releasedback in 2003 what they
considered at that time the 100greatest albums of all time.
In 2003, when they did it, itwas mostly things from the 60s
(08:30):
and 70s.
They updated it in 2018, andthere's really not too much
people arguing with what RollingStone put out.
But this passed away forwhatever reason why they wanted
to do it.
Apple Music put out what theythought would be the 25 best
albums of all time, and this iscompiled by.
They were putting it up againstthe Rolling Stone thing.
(08:52):
It's a lot different.
This is compiled by you know,people on their staff and
writers and whatever, and sopeople have a shit fit over what
they came up with.
Okay, so you ready, costello,I'm ready.
So this is the.
You're a music guy, you're cameup with.
You ready, costello, I'm ready.
You're a music guy, you're backat me.
You got the radio because youlike music.
You love music.
Let's count them down and seehow you agree with these choices
(09:13):
from Apple Music.
What's going?
on 25 and down 25.
David Bowie's the Rise and Fallof Ziggy Stardust and the
Spiders from Mars 25.
Good choice, no.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Ziggy Blades.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Guitar.
I love David, but you don'tlike Ziggy Sardis, okay.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
No, no, no, no, no, no, not at number 25.
Too high.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Too low, way too low, okay, okay.
24 is Daft Punk Discovery Okay,more of something new.
Alright, her electronic music.
It was pretty good.
My star good.
I don't know if Garner's top 2523, bruce Springsteen's Born to
Run Okay, run okay From yourback to death trap.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It's a suicide rap.
Gotta get up while we're young,cause tramps like us.
Maybe we're all In love 22, theBeatles Revolver.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
It was a very, very good album.
I even listened to it many,many years later.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, but it makes you wonder, like, okay, if
you're looking to put a Beatlesin top 25, it should be more
than one.
You've got to do Sgt Pepper's,You've got to do White Album.
Revolver was their first.
21 is the Beach Boys' PetSounds, which everyone agrees is
just a classic.
Yeah, number 20,.
Dr Dre, the Chronic Familiaryes, but don't know, would you
(11:16):
be too white for that one?
I would say so, okay.
Speaker 3 (11:20):
Yeah, you know what I probably am.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Dr Dre is not trying to reach you as one of his
audience.
Okay, no, our cracking touchpoint number 19, taylor Swift
1989.
Taylor's version.
Okay.
I thought that was a stroke ofgenius on her part it was, and I
guess if you talk to Swifties,that is their favorite album of
Taylor is the 1989, taylor'sversion.
(11:45):
Right, okay, moving up thecharts here, this one.
The next one was number one onRolling Stone, but here it's
only like 18 with Apple.
That would be Marvin Gaye'swhat's Going On, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You can't see.
Oh, what's going on.
What's going on, yeah, what'sgoing on.
What's going on, what's goingon, yeah, what's going on.
Oh, what's going on, what'sgoing on.
Right on, right on.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
In the last Rolling Stones thing four years ago,
that was what they named asnumber one.
So how about that?
Oh, Next, Joni Mitchell Blue.
Good choice, no argument.
Okay, you might have a problemwith the next one.
We're in the top 15.
Adele 21.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Why would I have a problem with Adele?
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Like Adele, I just don't know Great voice.
Great voice, but she's stuck inCaesars Everything's about
whiny shit, say, in the top 15,we've got Bob Dylan, highway 61
Revisited.
I'm not a big Dylan fan, so Ican't really say one way or the
other hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, he's trying to blow hisnose one way or the other, he's
(13:06):
trying to blow his nose up.
Okay, we got Jay-Z, jay-z, theblueprint.
Once again not In our wheelhouse.
We're two white guys and wedon't listen to Jay-Z.
I'm sorry, radiohead OKComputer.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Please could you stop the noise and try to get some
rest.
Speaker 3 (13:54):
Hi, I'm Rob Radiohead .
Good to have you here.
Great, I'm surprised they chartso high actually, but all the
same, I don't have an argumentwith that, it's good.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
So far it's interesting.
Okay, now here's where everyonestarts bitching.
We're getting ready to go intothe top ten.
You've got Fleetwood Mac rumors.
No argument there, I'm going tostick right out.
Then we've got Beyonce Lemonade.
But you've got to get quiethere in the old-caste hill part.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
Well, it's all ballady kind of stuff now I'd
like a new one, but I don'tthink Lemonade was good, but the
Carter country?
Speaker 2 (14:31):
maybe as time goes on we'll reach that, but it's your
, I don't know.
Okay, next, no argument here,nirvana, nevermind.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
No argument.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'm all for that one Amy Winehouse Back to Black,
absolutely I.
I'm all for that one.
Amy Winehouse Back to Black,absolutely.
I'm all for that one.
Next one once again, we don'tknow.
Kendrick Lamar, good Kid MadCity, get quiet again in the
studio, because Just tell himhis free time, doesn't pop into
(15:01):
your Kendrick Lamar and blast itin his speakers to driving down
the streets of Rednecks, northCarolina.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
Who's an album with man City on it and it's gone
into the top ten.
Wait what?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
What With Kendrick Lamar.
Okay, all right, we're atnumber six.
I don't really have a problemwith this one.
I love this Stevie Wonder'ssongs and the Key of Life.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, that's again a masterful piece of musicianship
and production.
I would say you say masterfulpiece of music.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Masterful, yeah, it's really great, okay.
Okay, here comes the top five.
Here comes where people startreally wigging out.
Okay, number five Frank Ocean.
Blonde Also made top five onthe Rolling Stones list and you
know, I feel like an idiot.
I don't know what the hell thatis.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Blank Ocean, no Frank .
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Ocean.
The name of the album is called.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Blonde, don't know.
Frank Ocean.
Sorry, I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
In the Rolling Stones it always makes top five too.
What the hell is that?
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I guess we'll have to go out and find out, won't we
Taking hold over me?
Do you still go too late Tocatch those snakes?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Memories Taking hold over me.
Do you still go too late Tocatch the snake?
That's our weekend homework.
(17:02):
We both have to go find out whois Frank Ocean and listen to
theonde.
Okay, I remember Billy Ocean.
Maybe it's his brother.
What Billy Ocean?
Okay, yeah sure, billy andFrank Ocean.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
There we go here we go Number four, known as the
Ocean Twins.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Sorry, you can't see stuff.
Number four Prince and theRevolution, purple Rain.
Number one I wouldn't saynumber one, but it's in top five
and it should be.
It's great, here we go gettingreally dicey People getting
pissy.
Number three the Beatles, abbeyRoad.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
I guess I'd have to agree with that.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
You notice there's no white album in the top 25.
Do you think Abbey Road isbetter than the white album?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Okay, so Abbey Road.
It's more accessible.
I like the white album thoughNumber two.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I've got no problem with number two here, okay?
Michael Jackson Thriller.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Well, the most commercial album that would ever
hit.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Well, I guess.
Well, it's like can you name analbum that has like hit after
hit, after hit after hit?
It's like Princess Purple Rain.
It had like five, six hits onthere.
These days you pick, youdownload a CD of eight to ten
songs and maybe one or two atthe most is good if you're lucky
and the rest is shit.
So you notice, so far, here weare at number two, getting ready
(18:31):
to debut the number one, whichreally pissed people off.
What is missing so far in thistop 25?
There's been no.
Some people go oh, there's norock bands in there.
There's no Whitney Houston.
Well, I mean, whitney had a lotof good songs, but did she have
a CD?
It was just full of tons ofsongs.
That's the problem.
Total CDs, not artists, is CDsor albums, if you want to go.
Speaker 3 (18:55):
This whole thing was being said there's nothing like
Led Zeppelin.
There's no.
Led Zeppelin no anything fromthat song.
Like Ozzy Osbourne, I don'tknow.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
There's so many.
Here comes number one.
This is where everyone gotwigged out and weird.
So Rolling Stone had number one.
What's going on?
Marvin Gaye, because it waslike the lyrics are good, all
songs are great, they're timely,they're social, they're
revolutionary and they stillsound great.
I mean, all these things we'vesaid before in the top 10 could
(19:31):
have been easy, no problem,except for Frank Ocean Blonde.
We can't comment because wedon't know what the hell.
That is All right, right,exactly Number one.
Are you ready?
Would you like to take a guess?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
I am, I'm all tingled .
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Go on, give it a shot .
What do you think?
Number one is no pressure.
Okay, you can't do it.
It's just your opinion, it'sokay.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
No, I'm just no as far as number one albums and
everything.
Personally, I think U2, boy.
Maybe that's going too far back.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
They put U2.
No, some U2 said they had50-plus.
Okay, but number one, are youready?
Yeah, yeah, the Miseducation ofLauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
So what was the next place you made?
When we heard about P Diddy'sBaby Day, I mean, I like Lauryn
Hill.
I thought that was a good album.
But number one album of alltime, oh, absolutely not.
Sorry.
Do you familiar with the LaurynHill CD?
(20:45):
We're talking about this numberone, are you?
Speaker 3 (20:47):
familiar, I'm familiar with her and it, that
kind of ballady thing, justdoesn't do it for me.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
People know Lauryn isn't all ballady.
She's good.
I think it's number one.
People are all pissy becausenow they're comparing it.
Okay, as compared to what theRolling Stones they did the top
100 albums of all time.
So they're comparing it andthey're way off.
It's like not even close.
I don't know how half the musicgets this half.
They just, you know, peoplejust get pissy and they're
(21:19):
pissed at this order and thisselection.
So you know everyone's got tosay it, so it's okay.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
So number one is Lauryn Hill.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Lauryn Hill yeah, rolling Stone says it's Martin
Gay.
Okay, rolling Stone says WhiteAlbum by Beatles has popped by.
Here they have Abbey Road.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Well, I mean anything .
Beatle pretty much should sitin those you know around there,
you know if you really want togo for it.
What about Little Richard?
What about Buddy Holly?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Oh, you're talking about albums, remember, not
artists Complete albums thathave multiple great songs on
them.
I mean, that's the thing, buddyHolly, and they still do them
today.
What songs did you have on onealbum?
A whole bunch of songs thatwere good, yeah you did Peggy
Sue.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Yeah, oh God.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Peggy Sue and the Peggy Sue.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's not true at all.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Peggy Sue.
What was his last song?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
It's all over now it was Buddy Holly's last song.
It's all over now.
It was Buddy Holly's last song.
It's called we're Going Down.
Remember that one?
Too certain, I think.
Oh, that's a hard landing,that's right, yeah, you go hard
landing.
That Christmas song.
It's cold outside.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
No, he didn't have multiple big songs on one thing.
Yes, he did.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Well, that'll be the day when you say goodbye, did,
but anyway, well, I guess wecould, we should.
In which case, then, people saywell, why don't you shut up and
do your own?
All right, we could.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You should.
I mean, I would defer that toyou because you studied music
more than me.
You're more of a connoisseur.
I don't think that's true.
You would have more familiaritywith all sorts of these things
than I would Show me that shirtyou're wearing today.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Show him that thing.
Wait a minute, wait a minuteShow him that thing.
This last comment of yours iscoming from a gentleman whose
house is held up by LP Records.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes, I can pick a hit single.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
His basement is made out of vinyl.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
LP records, gold and platinum records.
You are crazy, I have to putthat on the website one day.
But you can play me a single andI can tell you if this thing is
going to make it or not.
That's why I got those.
But as far as you go, I have myfavorite.
You know, there's some albumsthat are just so obvious.
You have somebody who has songsthat are like this one.
Did you see that?
You hear this one in theirEagles hotel, California?
(24:09):
Absolutely.
I mean, is it in the top 25Apple?
No, it's not.
Why the hell not?
So you can go in all day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got mine but I think you'dhave a deeper catalog knowledge
of more albums as a whole.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Well, I'm a top 40 man.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
I'm a top 40 man.
I know singles.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
I know hits you do, you do?
That's what I'm saying.
Well, between the two of us, weshould be able to get it pretty
well right?
I think you're more commercialthan me, because at that point
of history.
So it's a musical history.
Mind you, when I was workingfor you, we had the best moment
in musical history, I think.
(24:51):
I think we had some of the bestmusic.
I know.
People say, ooh, a lot of time.
I mean, you know, back with theBeatles and the Hollies and all
this.
Yeah, okay, that was good, thisstuff.
I'm going through themarketplace.
I'm going through Smith's orAlbertsons everybody knows where
they are food markets, okay.
And what do I hear?
I hear 80s music coming at us.
(25:15):
I'm hearing Madonna.
I'm hearing REO Speedwagon notthat I particularly like them,
but all the music you know CoreyHart, sunglasses at Night and
stuff like that.
That was just a little.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Those guys like that may only have one or two good
songs, but the point is theywere big hit songs and they
still stand up.
There are a lot of singles outtoday that are popular for the
moment, but you can tell, I cantell anyway that they're not
going to stand up over even ayear or two from now?
Absolutely, I'm sorry, I'm justnot going to.
(25:52):
I can tell which ones are andwhich ones aren't.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
That I can still do.
We don't have access to themusic that's out there.
What if I?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
said that's a lie.
I listen to current music allthe time just to be fair and
gauge Okay, let me hear what'sout there, let me hear this guy.
I've heard about this guy andthis person is good.
But you know, you hear one songthat's kind of neat and then
the next two or three releasessuck, you know.
So it's hard to sustain.
(26:20):
You know, and even in your hitsong I've been number one three
weeks in a row and I listen toit and I'm going it's not going
to be around two or three years,it's not going to make it.
It has no staying power, nosustainability.
I agree completely.
I mean, so we're going to beplaying Save Me by Jelly Roll
(26:41):
four years from now.
Yeah, it has enough going forit by Jelly Roll four years from
now?
Speaker 3 (26:46):
Yeah, it has enough going for it.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
The one needed favor.
I think Desk has good stayingpower.
Same me, I'm 50-50.
Needed favor.
I think will stand up for along, long time.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, only talk to Gob when I need a
favor.
It's kind of like what you doyeah, yeah, yeah, okay, only
talk to Galvin and he'll do youa favor.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
It's kind of like what you do Costello, Exactly
Same thing you do.
Only talk to Galvin and he'lldo you a favor.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
God, give me back my two-seater car.
No, I'm not going to listen toyou, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Okay, yeah, and I'm still arguing with the insurance
people with that funnily enough, that's right, come on.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Costello, show him the freaking T-shirt.
We're talking about gettingthat T-shirt up there he is.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
There's Costello's cousin, elvis Costello.
Elvis Costello, indeed, that'sa revelation.
This is from my Name, is True,although this is just something
somebody put together.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Well, some people would say one of Elvis
Costello's albums should be inthe top 100.
I think one of them is probablyit, or it is.
What does that say in the back,elvis Costello?
Let's read it backwards, okay.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
But here's the interesting thing, it's
backwards to you, you seebecause it is backwards to me,
yeah, but to me.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
I was reading it and said yep, you get it.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
This came with an enormous volume of work from day
one to I think it ended up with.
Oh which album was that?
The first three.
The first three albums came ona CD package and beautifully
done, beautifully put togetherin a nice big box, and it had a
T-shirt in it.
(28:30):
He says it like a trueEnglishman would.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
It is beautifully put together.
That's the way Prince Charlestalks, how King Charles gives
you.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
It's beautifully put together.
That's it.
You've got it, you see.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
It's beautifully put together.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
You have to just stretch that mouth out like a
spider.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
She's not beautifully put together.
I wouldn't say she's like ahorse.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
What it is when I give lessons in elocution.
You notice that you have toactually move your lips.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
He does.
He kind of talks through histeeth like this.
That's a dumb American twit.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Exactly my boy.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Dumb American twits.
We're building our Trump radiostation but until we have it all
ready to go, we do have to playa Trump highlight.
If there's court appearancesand in between that, he'll do a
rally.
Court do have a Trump highlight.
If there's court appearances inbetween, that, he'll do a rally
.
Court appearances do a rally.
It's up to date for the week, wehave an update from the Trump
(29:36):
to Trump trial in New York,which should be coming to a
close any day.
If they find him guilty, arethey going to recommend jail
time?
Are they going to have theballs and do it?
Do it, do it.
He'll pay some in jail.
I mean, that'd be just besomething to see.
But anyway, here we go Live toNew York and the trial of Trump
(29:57):
to Trump.
Here's this week's thing.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
All rise Court is in session.
The Honorable Judge JuanMerchan is on the bench.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
OK, everyone, it's day eight of this trial.
Let's try to keep things moving.
Counsel for Mr Trump will begincross-examination of witness
David Pecker.
Ha ha, I said Pecker.
Speaker 4 (30:19):
Good morning, mr Pecker, if that's your real name
Now, mr Pecker and I'm sorry, Ijust can't say it enough Mr
Pecker, isn't it true that myclient Donald J Trump is a
flawless human being, pureperfection, and he has no
butthole and he has never, everdone anything wrong?
Mr Pecker, pecker, it's just MrPecker.
You just say my last name onetime and I really can't say if.
Speaker 5 (30:36):
Mr Trump, trump, huh, what, uh, what?
If you want to sleep throughyour trial, you're free to do so
, but the loud snoring isdisturbing the court.
Counsel, please advise yourclient to refrain from snoring.
You may continue, counselor.
Speaker 4 (30:53):
Thank you, your Honor .
Now, Mr Pecker, Pecker, Pecker.
Isn't it Pecker, that youpeckered your pecker?
Yo, what the fuck.
Speaker 5 (31:02):
What are you doing, man?
Mr Trump, trump, huh, what, uhwhat, mr Trump?
This court has warned you aboutthe snoring, but now you are
snoring and farting.
This is your last warning, mrTrump.
Stop snoring and farting, orI'm going to just declare you
guilty and lock your snoring,farting ass up.
Oh God, the smell.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Yeah, man, it straight-up stinks in here.
Your Honor, my client deniesfarting and is incapable of
farting because, like KimJong-un, he has no butthole and
has never farted.
And I would move that Mr Pecker, pecker, pecker, pecker,
pecker's comments be strickenfrom the record.
Speaker 5 (31:38):
Okay, I'm inclined to declare a recess so the court
can be aired out.
But seriously, he's doing itagain, mr Trump, mr Trump, huh,
what, what, all right, that'senough.
Donald J Trump, I herebydeclare summary judgment on your
fat, worthless, snoring,farting ass and find you guilty
(32:01):
of all charges.
You are sentenced to 20 yearsto serve in the stankiest hole
in Rikers Island.
Court is adjourned.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Oh, we're back doing this.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
All right, okay, and there we are, and so it goes.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
I can jerk two people off at the same time.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Hang on a second.
I've got Pete Diddy here.
It's difficult to find.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Wait, diddy, back.
Wait a minute, diddy.
If you're gonna, you need towear your condom there.
It is the little thing.
It went limp, just like he did.
Baby Dick is gone limp man.
Baby Dick gone limp.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
It's gone.
Limp, limp Dick.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Ladies and gentlemen of thelistening audience, mr Bailey is
now.
I'm sorry, I can't even explainwhat he's doing with that.
Mr Bailey is now.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
I can't even explain what he'sdoing with that, but it has to
do with his mouth and thatsurgical glove.
Later on in the broadcast,chris will be bending over with
(33:06):
the surgical glove.
That will be fun, won't it,children, let me set that up.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
Okay, that went.
Oh, trying to get one to feellike pee diddy, it just snaps
right off.
There's nothing to hold it up.
There's nothing to hold it up.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
You know what this reminds me of?
This is kind of like the backrow of a bunch of kids at school
, you know, not listening to theteacher.
We're having our ownconversation.
Speaker 2 (33:34):
I did that.
That was that way.
Weren't you that way?
Speaker 3 (33:37):
No, no, I wasn't that way.
Go ahead, mary.
I was in the middle trying tobe, you were a good student.
No, I wasn't.
So there I was in the middletrying to be just camouflaged by
all the other kids.
Speaker 2 (33:58):
It worked very well actually, oh, you weren't with
the cool kids.
Speaker 3 (34:03):
I was there with the cool kids, but I made sure that
I didn't stand out.
Mind you, I was 6'2 by thatpoint, so it's a little
difficult not to stand out.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
They're going dude.
Come on, turn the basketballteam, get on with it.
Come on, shoot some moves.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
I might have been a basketball star, but we don't
have that in England.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
They had a name for you when you played basketball.
It was like what was it called?
Oh, airball, that was yourairball.
Yeah, it's another airball.
Missed that?
No backboard, nothing but air,air ball.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Nothing, but nothing but nothing.
No net, no net.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
No sound of a swish, no swish.
Just air, just air, just air.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
Hey, I'm really happy to report that my neighbors
have given up on the theyThey've quit playing outside at
least, so I actually got a wholenight's sleep.
It's great.
I highly recommend it.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Is it getting too hot for them to play outside there
it might be 90 degrees 90degrees.
Well, it's too hot to beoutside.
You can't go inside with the AC, yet Put a bonfire on the
inside.
Good yeah that works out for it.
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Yeah, and put their hoop in there and scream and
yell at each other.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Well, we've got to know, because this is a sequel
to last week's show.
How is the new Costello mobiledoing?
How's your new car doing?
Have you been out cruising inyour new car?
Speaker 3 (35:31):
I have driven it a few times, you know what it
really is like.
Okay, that little two-seaterred two-seater People will come
up to me and say, wow man, greatcar.
I mean, this used to happen allthe time.
Yeah, nice car.
Man, you're not going to getthat, not at all.
I mean, if this thing meltsinto the background so well.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
I'll never get a speeding ticket.
Is that what you want?
Let me stand up.
Speaker 3 (35:53):
It would have been nice to have something, to have
a little bit of panache.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Why don't you just trade in what you got?
Speaker 3 (36:04):
I'd lose so much money.
I think it's guaranteed for 45days.
No, this is good.
It's not what I want, but it'swhat I need.
Okay, I'll get what I wantlater and I've got the
motorcycle.
That's cool.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
You've got to get what you want later and I've got
the motorcycle, that's cool.
You gotta get what you want,not what you need.
It's kind of like people gowhat's what's gonna make me
happy and I said well, in yourlife and work and in playing
whatever, very simple sportwords.
It's very simple.
It's called do what you love.
If you do that, you're right.
Drive what you love, not thething you have.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Oh, I know you can talk about that with your 70s.
What year is your car?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
77?
1968, sir, oh my.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
See, huh Well, I can't go back that far with my
cars.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
It's fun to get in there because you've got to roll
the windows down manually.
You know it has a littleloosest in the way.
It's an old car man.
It's over 50 years old, 60years old, 60 years old.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Now wait a minute.
68 to 56 years old.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yep, yep, that is Driving a car that old.
What does that feel like?
Now, wait a minute.
68 is 56 years old.
Yep, yep, think about thatDriving a car that old.
What does that feel like?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
But my car is no.
No, it's going to be fine, it'sgoing to be fine.
I'll tell you what I do likeabout it is the moonroof.
That's really cool.
That's a nice, because it alsohas, like this, filter.
It has a heat filter.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
You guys about the moon.
You had a freaking convertibleand you're excited over a
moonroof.
You had the whole freaking topdown.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
I have to be, I haven't changed your name.
It can't be airball anymore.
Now it's going to be airhead, Iget that.
Okay, well, it will be with thefew hairs that I have left.
I was thinking, though, of some, you know.
I was thinking, though, of youknow I was here we go.
Well, no, I was thinking thisis a video thing too, because,
(38:02):
ladies and gentlemen, inRadioland, costello is now going
to try and explain his hair.
There's not much of it, but Ialways kept it at like a number
three or a number four.
You know which is pretty short.
You know which is pretty short.
You know, policemen, don'tbother you when you've got that.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
So you use a clipper and cut your own hair?
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
I've been doing that for years and years and years,
so I thought I'd try and let itgrow, and it's the most horrible
, irritating thing I've evertried to do.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Well, you know, as you get older and you use your
hair like that, you have to letit grow longer so you can do the
comb over, the comb around andthe swoop you do but the thing
of it is, none of it grows atthe same rate.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
On the sides it's bushy and on the top.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
That hair is predetermined to live and grow
forever and that's why you don'tlose it.
That's why it's thick and itgrows faster than genetically
weakened, dying hair.
In the rest of your headthere's, there's your genetic.
Let's have a pair loss fortoday.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Well, as you can see, it's okay.
I don't think I'm going to growit out.
I think I'm going to go back tonumber three or number four.
I have a solution for you, sir.
I'm sure you do.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
You need to come back to Vegas and we'll do a hair
transplant on you.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I couldn't afford a thing like that, and let's do it
live, don't pay for it.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
It's free in Knucklehead.
We do it for free.
We'll do you a cost for free.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
Total makeover If you bring your carcass back here to
Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
I will tell you, we'll do your hair transplant
for free and we'll just carry itlive here on our show.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
How can you save that ?
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Okay, somebody hit record $1,000 procedure you are
getting for free.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
That and some testosterone who's?
Speaker 2 (39:44):
your daddy.
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Who's your daddy?
Speaker 3 (39:48):
Listen, by the time that happens, we'll be far away
from Vegas and some other place,doing this for lots of money.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
Wherever we are, we'll do your hair transplant
for free.
It's a standing offer.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
All right, I may well take you up on that.
You never know.
You want hair transplant.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
I'm putting it right here on this show you want hair
transplant for free.
That offer is always standingOkay, don't delay, act today.
Call now.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
I'll tell you what.
If you were to email Chris andCostello at Yahoocom, we could
give you all the information youneed on that.
Not free bit.
That's just for me, because I'mspecial.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
I'm thinking, while you're in here we'll cover your
head and just to make it fun,we'll put some hair down your
back for you.
We'll give you a nice big hairyback, you know, no thanks.
Speaker 3 (40:38):
I dreamt, maybe I saw this on TV.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
Why is there a freaking bug on my board?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
Springtime bugs are up, no no, no, no, I was
watching and I can't rememberwhich show it was, but it was
really funny.
It was like three black womenin a ship on dresses, you know,
doing their supreme bit and asfar as I know this was like a
reel and they, like one, turnedaround and took off, the other
turned around, took off, thethird one turned around and she
(41:07):
had back hair from hell.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Oh Well, I guess we know that was actually a she-he.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
Okay, She-he-he I guess we know that was actually
a she-he okay, I guess so.
I guess I heard that.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
You're watching the Supreme Drag Show.
You should know that's prettycommon.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
A drag Diana Ross Boy ?
That'd be funny.
You know she's too skinny forthat.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Didn't have to Right, we got to run.
Look at our cool picturesbehind us, the Chris and
Costello Original Castle Radioguys Cool artwork that we have.
Those guys have hair and youtoo, costello, can have hair
Free hair transplant for you wewill talk about it.
Right there in your head.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
Just put it right up there, just a bit there and a
bit there.
That would be really kind ofcool.
Give you a hairline back here'sa question here's a question.
Everybody wants to know whatcolor does it grow back?
Speaker 2 (42:09):
the color, the hair in the back, the color of the
hair in the back and sides ofyour head, which is where we
take it from to replenish thetop.
Whatever color it is, it'sgoing to be salt and pepper, a
little heavy on the salt withyou.
That's the way it's going to be.
What do you do?
Like other people do, who dothis, you color no, really.
So what.
Who cares what color it is?
(42:34):
You're going to have hair upthere.
Who gives a shit what color?
It's going to be white, it'sgoing to be all hair.
You have hair.
It's a fun problem to have.
Do I keep it white?
Well, I used to color it.
I put in some highlights, I putin some lowlights.
I mean, it's up to you.
Do what you want.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
Right then.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
I'll be right over.
Go book a plane ticket.
The hell drives you Right,right.
Oh, the family car, the SUV,svu, law and order, whatever it
is you're driving.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, that'd be interesting.
All right, all right, we'llhave to do that, and by the time
we get that done, we'llprobably be fully audio and
video compliant.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
Send us an email.
If you want to see Costello geta hair transplant live on the
show, Let it be known.
Send us an email.
What do we send emails toCostello?
Where do you?
Speaker 3 (43:28):
go ChrisandCostello at Yahoocom.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Simple enough, chris and Costello Our website.
Subscribe to our show Livecosmetic surgery on this podcast
.
I mean, I'm talkingGroundbreaking stuff right here,
Ben, oh my gosh, what's goingon?
Costello's bleeding out.
No, I'm just kidding, thatdoesn't happen.
That doesn't happen.
Doing it?
Joan Rivers, I hate todisappoint you because I know
(43:56):
the last time you had a surgeryyou had your dick shaved.
But for the hair transplantthere will be no shaving your
dick, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
I see, well, actually , yeah, I was supposed to have
some what do you call theminjections in my neck today
because of the car accident andeverything.
And so I said to the guy I saidwhat is it exactly that you're
putting in here?
Oh, it's just some hormones andthis, that and the other.
And the guy said which hormonein particular and which is the
(44:23):
one they use the most, chris,yeah, come on, you've got to
know what's the one that getslike deflamation and stuff like
that they give you, because I'vejust forgot the name of this
damn hormone, never mind.
Anyway.
So he says it was this kind ofhormone.
I said I told you.
(44:44):
I said I can't take that, ohreally.
I said yeah, it really screwsmy head.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
You went about growing some boobies.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
No, it wasn't that kind of hormone Hormones when
you don't pay.
We'll be back with more jokesand clips like that later.
Ladies and gentlemen, oh gosh,as usual, it slips my mind when
I need it most, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
If you left the poor hair in your head, you wouldn't
forget this shit.
There you go.
You see, it's what it is.
Anyway, you go get your hormoneshots.
I got to go back to work, I'mnot.
I'm not the hair transplant'sout there for free, so let it
happen.
Let's hear it from ourlisteners, especially our big
contingency in Asia and SaudiArabia, and even Costello's home
country of England.
Who wants to see Costello get ahair transplant?
(45:32):
Everybody do Everybody to seeCostello get a hair transplant.
Speaker 3 (45:38):
Everybody do, everybody do.
That's Trump doing his thing.
Everybody do, everybody do.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
All right.
Well, how exciting, gosh.
All right, there he goes again.
Gosh, hey, how'd you get here?
Speaker 3 (45:50):
You realize that is a piss take of.
Well, you wouldn't, becauseit's an English thing, it's
English.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
This show, exit, is strictly American.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
See.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
Diddy and your old adolescent dick.
Cool, that'd be fucking cool.
You're going to be squealing,buddy, he's squealing.
It's like go on, get it Squeal.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You want to do that.
We need to do that now, don'twe?
Speaker 2 (46:16):
Take off my dick.
Yes, we do.
It did tickle my neck Squeal,squeal.
Pete did his baby dicks.
They're not squealing, theycan't feel it.
Is it it yet?
Maybe not Well.
Speaker 3 (46:29):
I'm.
It's wonderful.
It's been a wonderfulexperience and I think an
audible show that we can bothunderstand makes a nice change.
And maybe next week, when wehave the radio station together,
you will be the first to know.
Of course, chris and Costello.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Leave me with this thought, and we'll close with
this thought.
Tick, tick, and we'll closewith this thought.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Tick tick.
Okay, I guess that's one I'mgoing to look up.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Huh, what's that Tick tick Is there a song called
Tick Tick, Naked and Afraid.
Naked and Afraid.
It's on the TV show.
The guy got a tick on his dick.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Okay, I'll check it out.
I'll find somethinginappropriate.
Speaker 2 (47:17):
There's Costello.
We'll do it with an airtransplant for free.
Speaker 3 (47:22):
Okay, man, we'll probably take you up on that
Come stay with Allison again,does Joey?
Speaker 2 (47:28):
get one from the basement.
No, does Marianne get one?
No, costello gets one, marianneneeds one.
No, costello gets one, marianneneeds one, she's been through a
lot of shit.
Yeah, I mean Cancer, breastcancer.
Yeah, that would do it.
I guess All that shit willcause male fume, trauma and all
(47:50):
that stuff.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
You lose your hair.
I don't think that bold womenin fact, I think some bold women
are very attractive thechildren.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
That explains your going in to eat over a tornado.
I like the tornado corner,isn't it?
Speaker 3 (48:08):
But she did that through choice, yep.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
No, oh, just think Miley Cyrus shaved her.
There you go.
Think Miley Cyrus shaved yourhead.
There you go.
Think if Miley Cyrus shavedyour head, you'd never come out
of the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (48:24):
Why doesn't this thing work?
Why doesn't this thing work?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Good thing I got to go Castello.
Thanks, that was fun.
Yeah, all right, very good,I'll forward that last thing you
sent me along to the Frenchboys to see what they do.
This will be interesting, okay.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
Alrighty Cool, let's hope I got it right?
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I can't believe it.
I said I know what you wentthrough.
I went what the hell's going onhere, so I can call my bank.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
What the fuck?
He goes not our end.
Speaker 2 (48:49):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (48:50):
Didn't think so, alrighty, okay, I'm definitely
pressing end recording this time, not in five hours time, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
I'm pushing.
Leaving the studio, leaving thestudio.
Oh, that's the one.
Speaker 5 (49:04):
Yeah.
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