May 6, 2025 • 40 mins
Welcome to Super Bowl Sunday and the infamous Doak Awards!
This week, Chris and Costello dive into everything from wild Super Bowl bets to the quirks of British radio and the highly anticipated Doak Awards Ceremony.
This time - the Doak Awards are based on the Grammy's. Spoiler alert: Trump gets the Pink Pony Award!
They break down the infamous Doke Awards, share hilarious broadcasting mishaps, and take shots at the state of entertainment, music, and politics.
Plus, is personality disappearing from radio? And what’s with the latest Kanye controversy? Tune in for witty banter, hot takes, and the kind of humor that got these guys cancelled in the first place.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I kind of like that's the Kristen Costello theme song
.
It certainly is.
It's right up there with famoustheme songs of many shows,
right up there with the TonightShow theme.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's up there.
This is from Radio London.
We'll see it in a minute.
It's right up there with the.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Jefferson theme song moving up to the east side.
Yeah, our song is just classic.
Yep, it's classic, all right,Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Big L.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Classic rock is just classic.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
What the hell's going on, what the hell drives you,
boy?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, that was the Big L theme and that's what we
do here at the original CanceledRadio Guys, Now known as the
Canceled Radio Guys.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
You're like your bachelor Castello.
I don't know what the helldrives you.
It looks like you're in one ofthose padded rooms.
Do you have a jacket to go withthat?
I am in a padded room, You'rein there.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, we do, we do Duck.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Awards today.
It's a big, big, big show manDuck Awards.
Getting ready for Super Bowl.
I wore my team jacket today, myAtlanta Falcons.
Are we in the Super Bowl?
Hell, no.
Are we going to be in thereanytime soon?
Hell, no, hell, no, we're inthe Super Bowl, as everyone
remembers.
I hear it all the time.
(01:15):
We were there in 2016.
And everyone goes oh, you'refrom Atlanta and everyone goes
28-3.
28-3.
Sick of hearing it.
You know we were ahead 28-3.
Brady comes back and they winbecause they had that dipshit,
cal Shanahan calling plays andjust running the ball so he can
get another field goal.
Win the game?
Nope, let me just keep beingcreative.
(01:36):
He's never won one Cincinnati,so I hope he never does it.
He's cursed.
We put the curse on CalShanahan.
We put the curse on Dan Quinn,who was our ex-coach then, who
coached the WashingtonCommanders this year and he
played in the NFC Championshipgame.
He got his ass kicked big time.
So that's for you guys, costingus the 28-3, okay 28-3.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Wow, how embarrassing is that.
Mind you, that's not as bad as.
It's pretty embarrassing, thankyou, there's some embarrassing
things going on the last coupleof weeks of the NFL, but we're
NFL-less now.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Well, I was just doing the Kelsey brothers, like
what.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, actually there's a good point, isn't it?
Gosh, it's long enough ago.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I can't remember the… let's play the sound effect
Dementia, dementia, dementia,Brain loss brain loss, brain
loss.
Braindead, braindead, braindead.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
You're definitely brain damaged when it comes to
NFL.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But you know so my Falcon thing, it didn't say 23.
It just says Falcons.
Okay, falcons yes, we'll leaveit at that and see what happens
to us in the future, okay, well,we'll never know, will we?
We didn't even make theplayoffs this year.
But, you know, I don't care,I'm in a good mood because it is
Super Bowl week.
Super Bowl Sunday is strictlyan American thing, even though
the viewership is like manthrough the you-know-what.
(03:00):
So some of the commercials I'veseen have you seen any of the
previous some of the commercials?
They look really funny?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I haven't.
That's usually the best part ofthe whole thing.
It depends.
Like I say, I only generallywatch the fourth quarter because
that's when everything'sdecided.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Not on this game, dude.
You get all the pregame stuff.
Who's going to sing thenational anthem?
Who's going to sing America theBeautiful?
Who's in the commercial start?
You've got to watch the wholedeal, man.
There's all kinds of stuffgoing on.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
After the election guess what happened in Canada
when they played America theBeautiful?
They booed us, they did.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Don't blame them they're pissed but our Canadian
friends?
The tariff thing is not ouridea and our question is and
even the people who voted forhim hope you're happy you voted
for him are going why do thosetariffs for him?
Because who's going to pay forhim?
That'd be us.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, that will be us .
Or maybe we just can't affordto live anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah, I mean he withdrew the ones for Canada and
Mexico because he said they'veworked out some arrangements and
some deals.
Okay, but the one's in placebig time for China.
Leave it in place for China.
I don't care, that's Chinacalling me right now.
Leave me alone.
They're going stop the tariffs.
No, we're not going to stopanything.
So it's okay, that's okay withyou, right, china?
(04:21):
Cool, yeah, that's okay withyou right, china, cool, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Well, do you know how much stuff is made in China?
You buy that Chinese stuff.
What do you buy?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Give me something that you have and you own right
now that you use on a daily,weekly basis.
That's from China.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Go on.
That's from China.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Probably the microphone, probably the
microphone you're talking into.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Possibly.
I don't know if it's just madein Japan.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
The computer, the speakers Speaking of this stuff,
costello and our wonderful newproducer, social media director,
chelsea.
You guys made me buy a newmicrophone and board and all
this stuff, you know.
So I hope you're happy.
This is the last show whereI'll sound like shit.
I'll sound like a little tincan or a Castello.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It's a deep microphone where it talks like
this On a tin can radio, youknow, with a string and
everything last week and um.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I started my career, like you did, in AM radio.
That's just the way it sounded.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I had a job in AM radio.
You know what it was.
I was the guy in the backgroundgoing whistling.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You were the sound effect guy.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, sound effects from AM radio Used to whistle at
you.
That's all you did.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That was my job.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yes, indeed, that was my job.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
They paid you for that.
Wow, Did you do?
The fart noises as well too.
Those come naturally to you now.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, they do.
Now, of course, you'reabsolutely correct.
Hang on a second, there we go.
That was an effing fart.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I'll tell you that was better than your whistle,
just so you know.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Well, I'm very out of practice, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I used to go for whistle therapy, but you know as
you guys know, here's my newlittle mixing board which is
going to be hooked up to my newlittle microphone.
It's on our podcast next week.
Oh, something like I used tolike a professional, well-paid
broadcaster.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Better explain to our new listeners.
I'm sure there's a few outthere that haven't heard of the
Doak Awards.
Doak Turner was a guy we workedwith in West Bag of Virginia
both of us, in fact.
Chris was his boss too.
Oh no, you weren't, somebodyelse was general manager and
what made Doak unique.
What was?
Speaker 1 (06:40):
it.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Do tell.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, he sat talking like this.
He just thought he was thegreatest gift in the world.
Doak is the only guy I ever metwho in his whole life has never
been to the dentist Never.
When you flash the picture ofthe Doak horse, you can see what
the Doak's name.
After You'll see what I'mtalking about.
When was the last time we sawDoak?
(07:02):
We saw Doak about three or fouryears ago in person, I guess.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
You did, didn't you?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, we did, and you know he looks like he's in his
fourth trimester, getting readyto give birth.
His teeth have still gone awful, and you know, and he's still a
lonely guy.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And his dog died.
He's his very own country song.
He's a country songwriter aswell, and you can.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Google people and I bet you put in the word Doke.
How many people are you goingto find in this country who are
named Doke?
Not many.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
One name will come up .
We did this last time, actually, and there was a famous
footballer called Doke.
What was his last name?
Not first, I don't know.
No one's name is first name.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
There's our little baby boy.
Let's name him, honey.
He looks like a Doak Doak.
D-o-a-k.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Doak.
Anyhow, we decided to make alot of fun of this guy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
It's just been good, yeah, he's a Trumper.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's just been good.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, he's a, he's a trumper, he's a Baptist Bible
thumper, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
And everybody else he looks down upon with his
crooked teeth, yep, yep.
And so we decided we'd do theDoak Awards.
Yeah, that was a couple ofyears ago now, so we thought
we'd revive them.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
There's an annual coming up today and it's like
you saw, like you saw theGrammys.
You know what the Grammys are.
You saw the songs.
It was, you know.
The best new artist categorywas awesome.
A lot of good new artists Ilike a lot.
I love Teddy Swims man, he'sgreat and Elk Chapel they're all
good.
So that was a good category.
Now it's time for the dokes.
When you say doke, or you sayit properly, how do you say doke
(08:45):
, doke, that's right, doke.
It's like someone just goosedyou to just sit on something
like that.
That works best, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's usually when something goes terribly wrong,
which is probably going tohappen here, because I had all
this stuff sorted out.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It's going to happen.
Today.
Everyone's having a Super Bowlfirst.
Are you placing any bets on thegame Sunday?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I don't think I can.
I'm in South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Why not you just do it on your phone, man?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
No, you can't, it won't.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Let you, I try why would it let you do it on the
phone in South Carolina?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Somehow they know you're in South Carolina, even
though I don't have an 803.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, you can't do it in Nevada because the casinos
block it.
They want you to go out to thesports book and bet there.
So I understand why you can'tdo it in Nevada.
You have no casinos or crap inSouth Carolina.
Why can't you bet football onyour phone?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Because it's an instrument of the devil.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Ooh, that damn Southern Baptist crap coming
right back to bite you in thebutt.
Yep, it used to be.
You bet the game, win the lose,you bet the point spread.
Then there was some side bets.
You know, like the coin toss isgoing to be heads or tails,
who's going to score the firsttouchdown?
Is it going to be run or pass?
You know that type of stuff.
And how many yards per eachteam, total yards per game,
(10:00):
things related to the game.
Now you can bet pretty much onanything up there.
So the biggest betting rightnow is going on with the Chiefs
win.
Will Travis Kelsey propose toTay-Tay out there on the
football field?
That's getting a lot of bets.
I'm going wow, that's prettybig.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
That is.
That is.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
But since we're doing betting, and we're Vegas guys,
I have here more side bets thatmaybe some folks want to know
about.
Would you like to know theother bets?
They're betting on Super Bowl,costello.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I'd love to hear about them.
I'll even give you a drumroll,would you?
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I think it's like even money.
Will Tom Brady's hair gel lastthe entire game?
Right now most people arebetting no, that's pregame game,
halftime, postgame.
I don't think it's going tolast, okay.
Okay, this is getting a littlebit of action on this one.
(10:59):
Okay, will Jake from State Farmlose his home on auto after
secretly betting on the EaglesBecause you know his buddy is
Patrick Mahomes and Coach AndyReid does all the commercials
with Right Home auto, home auto.
Jake, no more home auto afterthe game.
Betting on the that one gettinga lot of action.
(11:20):
Everyone's betting against Jakeon that one.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Even though he lives in Pacific Palisades.
Yeah, they're betting on theChiefs big time yeah.
No, I was just thinking home,auto home sizzle.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Home auto, home auto.
That's Jake.
Okay, let's check this bet.
Well, the Eagles have only oneattempt at the tush push.
Yes, that's after running back.
Jalen Hurts gets a hard-onpushing the tush.
After that happens, they maynot run that play again.
The coach may go.
They're not pushing, he'spushing with his dick up there.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
You know, that's a good question, because I thought
sports guys like that wore acup, but apparently they don't.
Now it's like hey, look at me,I'm not wearing any underwear or
anything.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Some do.
You can tell who some do, somedon't.
But being that close and you doit, the tush push is actually
what it is.
You're pushing against theguy's tush in front of you, the
guy behind you, so there's a lotof male humpy-pty dance.
Yes, they're thinking JalenHurts is going to get a hard-on
again after doing the firstpush-push and they only run it
that one time during the game.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Can you imagine realizing you've got a hard-on
and you've got like how manymillion people staring at you
going.
Do I just put my hand down, Getme something to?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
It's kind of like watching Benson Boom, one of the
guys up for new artists in theGrammys.
He came out and he tore hisclothes off, his tuxedo off.
He's wearing like a bluejumpsuit.
Yes, just on stage, the top ofthe piano, there's a backflip
off the piano, pretty impressive.
Apparently that kind of knockedhim out of sync so he had to
readjust himself, standing upthere in front of the stage, in
front of the camera.
So everybody's going Well thathe could have worked up, but
(13:02):
there are no bets on that, sothat didn't work out.
But there's not a lot of actiongoing on in the tush-pushy bet
thing.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Left side or right side, sir?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, but big bets are over and unders.
Okay, so this is an over andunder.
So the number is 80.
It would be over or under thenumber of times Jimmy Johnson
will lick his lips during thebroadcast.
You ever watch Jimmy.
I like Jimmy.
Number of times Jimmy Johnsonwill lick his lips during the
broadcast.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
You ever watch Jimmy?
I like Jimmy.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
He's a great guy, but everybody's doing it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Oh, like that Every time after he speaks he's got
that going.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That's like no, no hands, just do it.
You guys watch the pregame.
You watch Jimmy Johnson.
You tell me either he's chewingsomething or he's got the
driest lips I've ever seen anyhuman being have.
Well, that's a possibility.
Have you ever noticed thatbefore, or is it just me?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I've not noticed him doing it.
I've noticed them doingsomething with their mouth and
licking their lips and it's likeit's just kind of irritating.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Jimmy Johnson, the guy with all the big mane of
white hair.
Great hair, great hair.
Every time he talks he goesyeah, I'm picking the cheese,
he'll do that, I'm just going,what the hell?
So the number is 80.
Count the number of times yousee him do that during the whole
broadcast.
Over and under is 80.
A lot of action going on thatone.
Everyone's betting heavy on theover.
He'll do it more than 80 times.
Check that out.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You might have to have a couple of replays on it,
oh yeah, slow motion, slowmotion.
That's when it can really comeinto its own.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Another over and under.
The number on this one over andunder is five.
The number of times TravisKelsey will say baby when being
interviewed.
Look, he lives in Kansas.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
City.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Not the biggest vocabulary.
Yeah, we're going to get inthere baby.
Yeah, where's the cheese?
Baby, I'm going cheese, baby,baby.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Baby, baby.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Baby baby.
Is that your girlfriend outthere telling you hey baby, hey,
baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Is that your girlfriend outthere telling you hey baby, hey,
baby, baby, that's my baby.
He calls guys baby.
That's right, everybody's babyBaby baby.
So the betting action is wayover the five on the baby thing.
Okay, right, this one is likethis is an easy bet cost, so you
should do this one becauseyou'll win money on.
(15:12):
This is an easy bet, so youshould do this one because
you'll win money on this.
Another over and under.
The number is zero.
The number of times TaylorSwift will be shown on TV
without a drink in her hand?
None, every time they show her.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Tay Tay likes to drink Apparently she admits that
she's got a bit of a problem.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I would say, man every football game she's got
wine, she's got a bit of aproblem.
I would say, man, everyfootball game she's got wine,
she's got dark drink, bourbon.
I mean, the woman likes todrink Gee.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Bourbon and beer, bourbon and wine.
What a dreadful idea.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
That's talking like massive headache.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, it is.
She hugs Travis at the end ofthe game.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Big, tall and stinky.
He goes hi, baby, he gets herinto her.
How'd it go?
Yes, it will.
The big bet on that is the over, because they're going to show
her.
Every time they show her she'sgoing to have a drink.
She always does.
Okay, this is just like an oddsbet.
On the winner's podium afterthe game, terry Bradshaw will
(16:13):
ask Coach Reed of the Chiefs, toroll on over here.
He did it last year.
He got crucified on socialmedia because Coach Reed, as you
know, is slightly round andoverweight.
Instead of saying come on overhere, coach Estar, come on, come
on.
He said hey, coach Reed, rollon over here.
I want to answer some questions.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I like that that actually happens.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Will he do it again?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Now they're betting on some ofthe commercials already.
Okay, you're familiar withPeyton Manning, right, every
time he was in the huddle heused to be quarterback for the
Broncos.
His last five years of hiscareer.
He's staying at the line.
Everyone has their own thing,right.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback DakPrescott always goes here we go,
and then they hacked him off.
(16:57):
Peyton Manning.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Omaha.
Omaha, so they're betting doesPeyton Manning really eat Omaha
steaks?
I'm sure if they send himenough for free he will.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I thought it was the city, but no, I guess Omaha
steaks, omaha steaks, omahasteaks.
He's actually doing advertising.
I never thought about that.
Okay, vince, you will fall inthis category.
Okay, Over and under 30 million, big number, 30 million, the
(17:29):
number of men that will crywatching the new Budweiser
Clydesdale commercial.
Look at that little horse.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh look, it's my little pony.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I've seen the commercial.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You will.
Oh really, Is it like the onewith the little puppy?
Remember that a couple of yearsago.
It's just a little horsey oh,it's a horsey.
Yeah, those things are huge.
I've been around those, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, this one, this is a little baby, he won't be
small for long, okay, cool.
We're getting a lot of actionon this bet here too.
This is an easy money bet.
Costello will be deported byhalftime.
I'm betting on that one too.
Get out of here.
Send this boner back to England.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I'm not brown enough man.
I'm not brown enough to bedeported.
What?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
do you think you're doing All the brown people
deporting first?
Well, maybe I see it.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
He's in a spot, especially in somewhere like
Kansas at this time of year.
Hey look brown guy, get him.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
So you fall in a really rare category.
You're illegal, but white, no,I'm legal.
Now Trump goes, well, I don'tcare, he can stay Next.
You Nope, brown Nope, just forthat I'm leaving.
You were in the turban, youwere in the turban, now you're
out.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, taking off his turban.
Is that man a Jew?
Just give me some.
It's here.
The clamp down is here.
Fascists have taken over.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Bye, bye, bye, bye, deported, back to London.
There are worse places to go.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I tell you what.
Somebody offered me a radio jobin England.
I told my sister this this isthe first time in 40 something
years I've ever actuallyconsidered it.
Somebody offered me a job.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
So if you were offered, you'd be working for
the BBC 2, bbc 3?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Oh there's lots of stations.
Oh, I'd love to BBC 1.
Radio 1 is too kiddy.
Radio 2, I could do.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I'll ask you a question, okay, so we know what
radio is like in America now.
Not very many people listen toregular terrestrial radio.
Is In America now.
Not very many people listen toregular terrestrial radio.
Is it the same effect inEngland?
The same thing.
That radio there is like it isall over the world, just like in
the shitter.
Nobody listens to it.
It's a podcast, baby.
It's a podcast.
I said baby, I'm Travis Kelsey,did you?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
get the podcast baby.
I think that radio is stillquite strong because of the BBC.
The BBC is quite a strongentity.
Although they've tried to screwit up enough times, they put so
much onto the Internet, theterrestrial radio is still there
, like Radio.
1 was what took over from allthe took over from the pirates
(20:09):
way back in the 60s.
I remember that.
Yep, they went and bombed thebloody boat.
For Christ's sake, they sunk itSunk the Amiibo.
I mean, there was more than oneboat.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
So there's one strong entity left because of the news
factor, I guess which is BBCOne.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
BBC One is kind of like chart-topping Actually it's
more than that.
Now They've got BBC One ExtraBBC One well, well, not BBC One,
it'd be Radio One, radio OneExtra Radio One.
This, that and the other.
Radio One Hip Hop Radio.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
One, but there's a lot of podcasts that come out in
England, just as there is thatmay come out here in America.
So a lot of people listen toBBC.
They just listen to podcasts.
Or you can stream your ownmusic in England, just like you
can here.
So I would listen to regularterrestrial radio.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Well, they do still have that, like Radio 4.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
But we still have regular radio in this country as
well too.
There's no one who listens toit anymore, so you know.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
It's true Even in this funny little town that I
awkwardly reside in.
I mean plenty of radio stations.
I don't know if anybody listensto them or not.
Some of them are really quitebizarre.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Out of desperation.
Sometimes I'm in a differentcar that has no satellite.
I don't know where I can put myphone up.
I have to turn on regular radioJust to go having to flash back
back back.
There's hardly any.
The only thing I notice isthere's really no announcers,
it's just pre-recorded digitallines.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
You're listening to music.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
There's just no one talking.
They cut it out.
When I first moved to Denveryears ago, they had live
announcers, but now there's justa handful.
The only ones that are thereare in the most important show,
Morning Drive.
Thank you very much, butthere's nobody to listen to, so
I even bought it.
It's.
It's a bad bad.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Oh, I know it's awful , it's dreadful.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
But if we were still in the market to buy one, we
would cost an hour to buy one.
Yeah, it would be liveannouncers and personality plus
all around the clock.
That's the way we would do ourstation.
Yes, good.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Personality would be first Drinking coffee and eating
M&Ms at all times.
Yeah, personality would befirst.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If we can't hire any personalities, we'd be on split
shifts 12 hours for you, 12hours for me.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We have enough trouble doing half an hour no
not a bit, man, I can go all day.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
So not a problem, don't get me started, I can go
all day.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
We are, of course course, the cancelled radio guys
just thinking about that on thehalf hour.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Um, that sounded right being part of the reason.
I was a cancelled radio guybecause it wouldn't shut up.
Don't say that I can't stopmyself.
He said what he can't helphimself do you know?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
do you know?
I was thinking about going tothe Waffle House today just for
shits and grins and anotherheart attack.
And do you know what they'redoing?
They're charging an eggsurcharge.
I can't say I really blame them.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
What is an egg surcharge?
Does that mean there's a feefor cracking the egg, or what is
?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
that it's an extra fee for having eggs.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Because the cost of eggs is so high.
Is that why, I guess?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yep, that's why they're going to an egg
surcharge, don't think that'sgood.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
That's the same as an egg tariff, I guess, right,
what's the difference?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's a tariff.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yes, You're paying a tariff to eat the eggs it's a
tariff like this.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
It's the most beautiful word in the American
dictionary.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I love tariff.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
It's genius.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
As he goes, he goes.
The most beautiful word in theAmerican dictionary I love his
juice.
As he goes, he goes.
You know, americans may sufferfor short term, but they won't
mind.
Who told you we don't mind?
What are you stupid?
Of course we mind.
I don't even suffer one damnday.
Have you ever been to a WaffleHouse before?
Oh God, yeah, I want to makesure because you know, being
from the South, we're outpartying all night by 3 o'clock
(23:56):
in the morning.
There's no better food at 3 amthan going to the Waffle House,
Totally shit-faced, and justgoing.
I had the thing I can make it.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
And then they give you whatever they feel like.
Oh, here, take this.
I have a friend who she workedin a Waffle House.
She's a musician now, but whenI met her she's just a young
lady Got to start somewhere.
Very, very attractive In Denveractually.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Which is off the Springs area.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And she was around about 17, I guess 18, right
about then getting her first job, you know.
And her first job was at aWaffle House, and she hated it,
needless to say.
And what she really hated waswalking into the kitchen finding
that the other waitress and thecook were having sex on top of
the waffles.
Hey, make you think again aboutgoing to a waffle house.
(24:48):
It's like no Baby, baby, giveme your waffle.
Come on, she said.
I just hung it up.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I'm going to leave a secret behind the whipped butter
.
That goes with the practice.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
There you go, you got it.
Okay, oh gosh, you ain'tkidding.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
It's an institution though, man, I'm from a Quapfa
house.
It's an institution, so I'msure that if they weren't the
first couple to do it, then theywon't be the last.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You know it, you know , it.
Hey, you know getting late onthe clock.
All those ass-griddled pancakes.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Good, ass-griddled ass.
Put some of that butter backthere, baby.
Oh, I've got a baby.
The Kelsey baby again.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh well, oh, more babies.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
well, Can you stand it?
I mean, are we ready just todelve right into the Doak Awards
?
I mean you've got to set thetheme and the mood just right
for the Doak Awards okay.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yes, I am.
I am ready for the Doak Awards.
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Listen.
According to this, according tothis According to this.
According to this Ladies andgentlemen, I would like to
invite you to the Doke Awards.
Get your spoons out, play yourspoons.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I'll do this one Very good, Mr.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Bailey, at this point we'll flash a picture of the
Doke on the screens and this iswhat the Doke Award looks like.
It's a set of crooked teeth ona gold stand.
So there you go.
This year's Doke Award is kindof tied in and related to the
Grammy Awards.
Okay, this year's Doke Awardsare tied into music.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yep Music Music power , power, power, power, power.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Where'd the West Virginia Hibbley music go?
We played that because theoriginal Doke namesake of the
Doke Awards is from West.
By God, Virginia, Virginia.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Never been there.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh, would you like that, alrighty, I should be
wearing my black tie to getready to give out these Doke
Awards here.
I don't want to be putting inthose teeth you buy to dress up.
Need to be putting in our BillyBob teeth to do the Doke Awards
right.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
They should, but well , I don't know, my teeth are
pretty belly-bobbed these daystoo.
Yeah, All right, so we've gotthe music going.
What's our first?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
When's the last time you've been to the dentist?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh Christ, a long time.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
You can win the Lifetime Achievement Doke Award
for no dental business.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
All right.
Well, I think Doug just walkedin the building.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
My neck rib.
Get my neck rib.
Okay, all right, duke.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Get rid of it.
Shut the hell up.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Sip it, sip it, sip it, sip it.
This song last year was done.
The same title was done by twodifferent people.
The song Houdini was done byDua Lipa and Eminem.
Both did a song called Houdini.
But the first Doke Award of thenight goes to Kanye West for
his Houdini, because he made hiswife's clothes disappear on the
(28:11):
red carpet.
Oh, I saw that he get theHoudini number one Doke Award
because he had his wife buttnaked on the red carpet.
Oh, I saw that He'd get theHoudini number one don't go work
.
Because he had his wife buttnaked on the red carpet.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that, because she looks
pretty good naked.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
She did look very good naked, I must say.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
They walked the red carpet.
Then they asked him to get thehell out and he got in his car
and they left.
Red carpet pictures, pictures,controversy, leave.
That was it.
That's the way to do it.
He was not allowed in becausethey're thinking about even
charging her with publiclewdness.
Oh, why doesn't Kanye show upnaked?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Not that I want to see that, but it's as fair as
fair.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Does she like to do that on her own, or does he make
her do that?
This could be a really bigissue, but the Houdini Award
goes to Kanye West for makinghis wife's clothes disappear,
and gratefully so on the redcarpet.
We thank you, kanye.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yes, we do, we do, we do.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Thank you.
She looks good.
She's got a big degree.
She's a smart woman.
What the hell is she doing?
That's for another day, allright.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Okay, so Don't go on number two.
No.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Doke.
There's actually such a thingas a good Doke Award.
This is the first time.
Okay, all right For CowboyCarter.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
That goes to former President Jimmy Carter, showing
us what a human being is reallysupposed to be like.
And for you, sir, from my homestate of Georgia, I salute you
for 100 years of just being agreat, great human being.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
So you get the Doke Award.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yours is special.
It has teeth correction on it,okay.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
The teeth are great.
Yeah, well, he deserves it.
He did an awful lot of good hedid and everybody hated him.
It doesn't make any sense.
Now, where I come from, wedon't Like 50 years later, look
what happens.
We put a felon in the WhiteHouse, yeah, you explain that to
your grandkids, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
A convicted sex offender twice impeached, felon
rapist president.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh, you're missing a few out there, like extortionist
thief and more.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
We're doing something wrong.
It's like, for example you wantto be successful.
Okay, let's look at Joe Rogan.
Okay, midget lost his hair dueto steroids.
Oh, midgets.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You understand there was a midget at the control of
that helicopter that crashedinto that 737 or 707?
.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The one in DC.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, why do you say midget?
What do you mean?
Midget?
That's what President Trumpsaid.
Well, it was probably themidget who was in control.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
You mean mental midget, but actually midget is
not a politically correct termanymore.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
anyway, Well, I know that, but he used it and said it
was the midget who did this,you know.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Mental midget.
Is that what he meant?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think he just meant midget period.
Well, the guy wasn't, so Idon't know where he got that
from.
No, it's because of the otherthing that he stopped, not the
Equal Rights Amendment, but theemployment where you give
everything.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Oh, the DEI thing okay.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
But he turned out not to be the minority he thought
he was anyway.
So he was wrong, wrong and thenwrong.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Oh wrong, wrong, wrong.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Got like the wrong on the terrace.
Okay, are you ready for thethird Doke Award?
Doke Award number three it'sthe Pink Pony Club Doke Award.
Okay, oh, that goes to the guywe were just talking about,
trump, for dissolving the DEIprogram.
There will be no more Pink PonyClub to go to, okay?
So Caparon says in her song.
(31:43):
It's a place where all boys andgirls can go and be queens.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Not anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Pink Pony Club.
Bye-bye.
Thanks to Trumpers.
Yep, yep, you'll be in jailnext.
So Doak Award number three goesto Trump and he gets the
special version, the Doak PinkPony Club Award, doak sorry
Picture.
Doak wearing a pink tutu.
That's your award, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Let's put a picture of Doak up there, just so that
people can see.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, throw it up there Once again see him.
I feel like I need a shower.
I need a shower.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Ben Ben Moving on.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
We're moving on.
The next Doke Award.
Okay, it's the Shaboozy TipsySong Doke Award that goes to
President Biden for his tipsywalk.
Like his diaper is full Lovelylovely, lovely, lovely Look if
you ever watch him walk, won'tsay gotta get to the restroom,
(32:40):
change my diaper, holy.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Change your diaper.
Well, we're going to haveanother four years of that,
that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Biden.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
No, Biden's gone.
Yes, I know, but Trump has adiaper as well.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Oh, that's a new thing.
Okay, trump diaper.
Okay, I'm filming that one.
Okay, alright, the FlowersMiley Cyrus Doke Award goes to
Costello For sending Mileyflowers every day and getting
absolutely zero response.
Oh, baby, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
I loved it when you were 10.
Oh God, Baby, I'm sorry, butthen daffodils is going to have
to be put on hold.
Why did you grow up for it?
Oh God, Baby, I'm sorry, butthen Daffodils is going to have
to be put on hold.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Why did you grow up for it?
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Oh God, oh newsflash, in case you didn't hear it.
When they were talking to Miley, someone said well, what
happened to Hannah Montana?
She just got this look on herface and said Hannah Montana was
murdered.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, our dad, she just did.
I was a part of it.
He got me famous, but it wasgone yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Do you know, when I was at Bally's we did the
world's biggest achy-breaky.
Yeah, I'm proud of myself forthat.
Somebody stole his guitar whilehe was there, just to make him
feel at home.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Is that one of your brilliant radio promotional
ideas?
To do the achy breaky?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
No, no, no, it wasn't a radio, not my radio thing.
I was in charge of sound backthen.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Save that idea for when we get our radio session.
Okay, the achy, we'll do thebiggest achy breaky.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, they'll have forgotten about it by then.
Anyway, he'll probably be dead.
He brought it back.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
He played at the Trump Inauguration Ball, one of
the balls.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Of course he did, because that's where everybody's
brain's at Yep A little stuckin that he blamed his lousy
performance on bad equipment,but he really sucked.
Oh yeah, bad workman blames histools.
Yeah, it's hard to believe.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I know how you feel.
It's hard to believe that.
Oh, miley came from that, ohGod.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Miley.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, well, as far as we know, Well, that's true, as
far as we know.
Back to the award ceremony,gang.
Okay, enough chit-chat, back tothe awards.
Okay, here are my hands, thefinal Doak Award of the evening.
Oh, big tremolo.
I thought there'd be cheers forthat.
(34:56):
No more awards.
This is the Tortured PoetSociety Duke Award, and that
goes to the namesake.
It goes to himself Duke.
Duke Goes to Duke for all thesongs he's written that has
never been recorded and the bookhe wrote that was read by 10
people and that counts.
Twice by his mother, okay, andonce by you and once by me.
(35:18):
So Doak is truly a torturedpoet.
So to you, doak, your old wargoes to you, doak.
You just keep writing, buddy.
One day someone will readsomething that you write and
probably, if you write your ownobituary, the business will
guarantee you none either.
I was a great man.
I wrote great songs.
Screw the dentist.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I might write a sequel to my book.
I'm too busy scraping the crapoff my teeth to go to the
dentist.
Yeah, floss, what the hell isthat?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
floss.
You get one floss and it wouldnever come out again.
You'd have to leave it in thereforever.
You'd have to surgically removeit.
Back then with a piece of amberFrom 1984.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Oh lovely.
Yes, from the place in SouthCharleston Probably.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
What was the name of his book?
Anyway, you actually read partsof the book?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yes, I did.
Oh gosh, I can't remember.
It was something like my Lifeand how I Lived it, or something
.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
My Life in my Mommy's Basement by Doak, is that it?
Speaker 2 (36:18):
My Life, my Career and and my lack of dentistry.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Yes, that's it Mommy's basement.
I'm out there writing songs inmy mommy's basement.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
And all the people that I think that I know, who
probably know me but reallydon't.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
So how many chapters was this book?
Was it like two chapters?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
right, I think it was about ten chapters, but it was
like each one was a person and Idon't think you nor I got even
more than uh, like three linesin the book after this.
Why would we?
This is why we're pissed off athim.
How dare you, how dare you notin clues?
I mean, come on, we're big timecelebrities now.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
We're all around the world again, the thing is with
him.
We're not evil, we're notChristian.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Oh, that's right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
He listened to the show for the first time to see
what we're doing, and he heardyou say damn, and now, that was
it.
You said damn.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Damn, smite him, smite him.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
I remember he chastised you.
He gave me some crap about it,didn't he?
I can't listen to that showbecause of your language.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You know what?
It wasn't just that, butsometime after, I think, he got
really drunk and he went on thistirade and he was extremely
rude.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Mr Southern Baptist religious got drunk.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
He got drunk and gave me a ration of shit.
I mean big time I should havekept it.
Maybe I still got it somewhere.
And he drank.
I didn't know he drank Drankbeer apparently.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Apparently lots of it .
Just look at this thing it'sgrowing by the minute, holy crap
.
Come back on the alcohol.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Zempik won't help you with that, my friend.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Not with that yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Not with the alcohol-y no, sir.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Well, here's your Super Bowl Sundays.
This week you got your DokeAward.
Now you know what a Doke Awardlooks like.
So if you send us an hate mailgoing, please don't do that
again.
I would understand.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I think maybe we run it dry every other year.
I mean we could do it kind oflike what is it?
Next year we'll do it based onmovies.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Okay, this year was music, Next year the Doke Awards
will be based on movies.
Okay, we can do that yes, yeah.
So I said we're planning my menufor Super Bowl Sunday.
I think I'm going to do acombination.
I do have a smoker, I do somemean smoked ribs.
I'm going to do a combination.
I'm going to do I do have asmoker, I do some mean smoked
ribs, I'm going to do some ribs,and we're thinking just of the
all-American thing, just doinghot dogs and hamburgers.
(38:42):
You know, for Super Bowl, placeyour bets, unless you live in
South Carolina where you can'tdo anything.
Yeah, you can Screw yourneighbor's wife, that's okay
then, are you dog?
I'm and your sister.
There goes.
Duke, Get down there.
Duke Get down in the basement.
Get it there you go.
Take a breather.
(39:03):
All right, back at it All right, thank you.
I kind of like that's the Kristen Costello theme song
.
It certainly is.
It's right up there with famoustheme songs of many shows,
right up there with the TonightShow theme.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
It's up there.
This is from Radio London.
We'll see it in a minute.
It's right up there with the.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Jefferson theme song moving up to the east side.
Yeah, our song is just classic.
Yep, it's classic, all right,Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Big L.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Classic rock is just classic.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
What the hell's going on, what the hell drives you,
boy?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Well, that was the Big L theme and that's what we
do here at the original CanceledRadio Guys, Now known as the
Canceled Radio Guys.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
You're like your bachelor Castello.
I don't know what the helldrives you.
It looks like you're in one ofthose padded rooms.
Do you have a jacket to go withthat?
I am in a padded room, You'rein there.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Yeah, we do, we do Duck.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Awards today.
It's a big, big, big show manDuck Awards.
Getting ready for Super Bowl.
I wore my team jacket today, myAtlanta Falcons.
Are we in the Super Bowl?
Hell, no.
Are we going to be in thereanytime soon?
Hell, no, hell, no, we're inthe Super Bowl, as everyone
remembers.
I hear it all the time.
(01:15):
We were there in 2016.
And everyone goes oh, you'refrom Atlanta and everyone goes
28-3.
28-3.
Sick of hearing it.
You know we were ahead 28-3.
Brady comes back and they winbecause they had that dipshit,
cal Shanahan calling plays andjust running the ball so he can
get another field goal.
Win the game?
Nope, let me just keep beingcreative.
(01:36):
He's never won one Cincinnati,so I hope he never does it.
He's cursed.
We put the curse on CalShanahan.
We put the curse on Dan Quinn,who was our ex-coach then, who
coached the WashingtonCommanders this year and he
played in the NFC Championshipgame.
He got his ass kicked big time.
So that's for you guys, costingus the 28-3, okay 28-3.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Wow, how embarrassing is that.
Mind you, that's not as bad as.
It's pretty embarrassing, thankyou, there's some embarrassing
things going on the last coupleof weeks of the NFL, but we're
NFL-less now.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Well, I was just doing the Kelsey brothers, like
what.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Well, actually there's a good point, isn't it?
Gosh, it's long enough ago.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
I can't remember the… let's play the sound effect
Dementia, dementia, dementia,Brain loss brain loss, brain
loss.
Braindead, braindead, braindead.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
You're definitely brain damaged when it comes to
NFL.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But you know so my Falcon thing, it didn't say 23.
It just says Falcons.
Okay, falcons yes, we'll leaveit at that and see what happens
to us in the future, okay, well,we'll never know, will we?
We didn't even make theplayoffs this year.
But, you know, I don't care,I'm in a good mood because it is
Super Bowl week.
Super Bowl Sunday is strictlyan American thing, even though
the viewership is like manthrough the you-know-what.
(03:00):
So some of the commercials I'veseen have you seen any of the
previous some of the commercials?
They look really funny?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I haven't.
That's usually the best part ofthe whole thing.
It depends.
Like I say, I only generallywatch the fourth quarter because
that's when everything'sdecided.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Not on this game, dude.
You get all the pregame stuff.
Who's going to sing thenational anthem?
Who's going to sing America theBeautiful?
Who's in the commercial start?
You've got to watch the wholedeal, man.
There's all kinds of stuffgoing on.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
After the election guess what happened in Canada
when they played America theBeautiful?
They booed us, they did.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Don't blame them they're pissed but our Canadian
friends?
The tariff thing is not ouridea and our question is and
even the people who voted forhim hope you're happy you voted
for him are going why do thosetariffs for him?
Because who's going to pay forhim?
That'd be us.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, that will be us .
Or maybe we just can't affordto live anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Yeah, I mean he withdrew the ones for Canada and
Mexico because he said they'veworked out some arrangements and
some deals.
Okay, but the one's in placebig time for China.
Leave it in place for China.
I don't care, that's Chinacalling me right now.
Leave me alone.
They're going stop the tariffs.
No, we're not going to stopanything.
So it's okay, that's okay withyou, right, china?
(04:21):
Cool, yeah, that's okay withyou right, china, cool, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Well, do you know how much stuff is made in China?
You buy that Chinese stuff.
What do you buy?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Give me something that you have and you own right
now that you use on a daily,weekly basis.
That's from China.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Go on.
That's from China.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Probably the microphone, probably the
microphone you're talking into.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Possibly.
I don't know if it's just madein Japan.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
The computer, the speakers Speaking of this stuff,
costello and our wonderful newproducer, social media director,
chelsea.
You guys made me buy a newmicrophone and board and all
this stuff, you know.
So I hope you're happy.
This is the last show whereI'll sound like shit.
I'll sound like a little tincan or a Castello.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
It's a deep microphone where it talks like
this On a tin can radio, youknow, with a string and
everything last week and um.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I started my career, like you did, in AM radio.
That's just the way it sounded.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
I had a job in AM radio.
You know what it was.
I was the guy in the backgroundgoing whistling.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You were the sound effect guy.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Yeah, sound effects from AM radio Used to whistle at
you.
That's all you did.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That was my job.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Yes, indeed, that was my job.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
They paid you for that.
Wow, Did you do?
The fart noises as well too.
Those come naturally to you now.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Well, they do.
Now, of course, you'reabsolutely correct.
Hang on a second, there we go.
That was an effing fart.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I'll tell you that was better than your whistle,
just so you know.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Well, I'm very out of practice, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
I used to go for whistle therapy, but you know as
you guys know, here's my newlittle mixing board which is
going to be hooked up to my newlittle microphone.
It's on our podcast next week.
Oh, something like I used tolike a professional, well-paid
broadcaster.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Better explain to our new listeners.
I'm sure there's a few outthere that haven't heard of the
Doak Awards.
Doak Turner was a guy we workedwith in West Bag of Virginia
both of us, in fact.
Chris was his boss too.
Oh no, you weren't, somebodyelse was general manager and
what made Doak unique.
What was?
Speaker 1 (06:40):
it.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Do tell.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, he sat talking like this.
He just thought he was thegreatest gift in the world.
Doak is the only guy I ever metwho in his whole life has never
been to the dentist Never.
When you flash the picture ofthe Doak horse, you can see what
the Doak's name.
After You'll see what I'mtalking about.
When was the last time we sawDoak?
(07:02):
We saw Doak about three or fouryears ago in person, I guess.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
You did, didn't you?
Speaker 1 (07:07):
Yeah, we did, and you know he looks like he's in his
fourth trimester, getting readyto give birth.
His teeth have still gone awful, and you know, and he's still a
lonely guy.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
And his dog died.
He's his very own country song.
He's a country songwriter aswell, and you can.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Google people and I bet you put in the word Doke.
How many people are you goingto find in this country who are
named Doke?
Not many.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
One name will come up .
We did this last time, actually, and there was a famous
footballer called Doke.
What was his last name?
Not first, I don't know.
No one's name is first name.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
There's our little baby boy.
Let's name him, honey.
He looks like a Doak Doak.
D-o-a-k.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Doak.
Anyhow, we decided to make alot of fun of this guy.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
It's just been good, yeah, he's a Trumper.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
It's just been good.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, he's a, he's a trumper, he's a Baptist Bible
thumper, you know.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
And everybody else he looks down upon with his
crooked teeth, yep, yep.
And so we decided we'd do theDoak Awards.
Yeah, that was a couple ofyears ago now, so we thought
we'd revive them.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
There's an annual coming up today and it's like
you saw, like you saw theGrammys.
You know what the Grammys are.
You saw the songs.
It was, you know.
The best new artist categorywas awesome.
A lot of good new artists Ilike a lot.
I love Teddy Swims man, he'sgreat and Elk Chapel they're all
good.
So that was a good category.
Now it's time for the dokes.
When you say doke, or you sayit properly, how do you say doke
(08:45):
, doke, that's right, doke.
It's like someone just goosedyou to just sit on something
like that.
That works best, okay.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
It's usually when something goes terribly wrong,
which is probably going tohappen here, because I had all
this stuff sorted out.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
It's going to happen.
Today.
Everyone's having a Super Bowlfirst.
Are you placing any bets on thegame Sunday?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I don't think I can.
I'm in South Carolina.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Why not you just do it on your phone, man?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
No, you can't, it won't.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Let you, I try why would it let you do it on the
phone in South Carolina?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Somehow they know you're in South Carolina, even
though I don't have an 803.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Well, you can't do it in Nevada because the casinos
block it.
They want you to go out to thesports book and bet there.
So I understand why you can'tdo it in Nevada.
You have no casinos or crap inSouth Carolina.
Why can't you bet football onyour phone?
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Because it's an instrument of the devil.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Ooh, that damn Southern Baptist crap coming
right back to bite you in thebutt.
Yep, it used to be.
You bet the game, win the lose,you bet the point spread.
Then there was some side bets.
You know, like the coin toss isgoing to be heads or tails,
who's going to score the firsttouchdown?
Is it going to be run or pass?
You know that type of stuff.
And how many yards per eachteam, total yards per game,
(10:00):
things related to the game.
Now you can bet pretty much onanything up there.
So the biggest betting rightnow is going on with the Chiefs
win.
Will Travis Kelsey propose toTay-Tay out there on the
football field?
That's getting a lot of bets.
I'm going wow, that's prettybig.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
That is.
That is.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
But since we're doing betting, and we're Vegas guys,
I have here more side bets thatmaybe some folks want to know
about.
Would you like to know theother bets?
They're betting on Super Bowl,costello.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I'd love to hear about them.
I'll even give you a drumroll,would you?
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I think it's like even money.
Will Tom Brady's hair gel lastthe entire game?
Right now most people arebetting no, that's pregame game,
halftime, postgame.
I don't think it's going tolast, okay.
Okay, this is getting a littlebit of action on this one.
(10:59):
Okay, will Jake from State Farmlose his home on auto after
secretly betting on the EaglesBecause you know his buddy is
Patrick Mahomes and Coach AndyReid does all the commercials
with Right Home auto, home auto.
Jake, no more home auto afterthe game.
Betting on the that one gettinga lot of action.
(11:20):
Everyone's betting against Jakeon that one.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Even though he lives in Pacific Palisades.
Yeah, they're betting on theChiefs big time yeah.
No, I was just thinking home,auto home sizzle.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Home auto, home auto.
That's Jake.
Okay, let's check this bet.
Well, the Eagles have only oneattempt at the tush push.
Yes, that's after running back.
Jalen Hurts gets a hard-onpushing the tush.
After that happens, they maynot run that play again.
The coach may go.
They're not pushing, he'spushing with his dick up there.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
You know, that's a good question, because I thought
sports guys like that wore acup, but apparently they don't.
Now it's like hey, look at me,I'm not wearing any underwear or
anything.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Some do.
You can tell who some do, somedon't.
But being that close and you doit, the tush push is actually
what it is.
You're pushing against theguy's tush in front of you, the
guy behind you, so there's a lotof male humpy-pty dance.
Yes, they're thinking JalenHurts is going to get a hard-on
again after doing the firstpush-push and they only run it
that one time during the game.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Can you imagine realizing you've got a hard-on
and you've got like how manymillion people staring at you
going.
Do I just put my hand down, Getme something to?
Speaker 1 (12:39):
It's kind of like watching Benson Boom, one of the
guys up for new artists in theGrammys.
He came out and he tore hisclothes off, his tuxedo off.
He's wearing like a bluejumpsuit.
Yes, just on stage, the top ofthe piano, there's a backflip
off the piano, pretty impressive.
Apparently that kind of knockedhim out of sync so he had to
readjust himself, standing upthere in front of the stage, in
front of the camera.
So everybody's going Well thathe could have worked up, but
(13:02):
there are no bets on that, sothat didn't work out.
But there's not a lot of actiongoing on in the tush-pushy bet
thing.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
Left side or right side, sir?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, but big bets are over and unders.
Okay, so this is an over andunder.
So the number is 80.
It would be over or under thenumber of times Jimmy Johnson
will lick his lips during thebroadcast.
You ever watch Jimmy.
I like Jimmy.
Number of times Jimmy Johnsonwill lick his lips during the
broadcast.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
You ever watch Jimmy?
I like Jimmy.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
He's a great guy, but everybody's doing it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Oh, like that Every time after he speaks he's got
that going.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That's like no, no hands, just do it.
You guys watch the pregame.
You watch Jimmy Johnson.
You tell me either he's chewingsomething or he's got the
driest lips I've ever seen anyhuman being have.
Well, that's a possibility.
Have you ever noticed thatbefore, or is it just me?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I've not noticed him doing it.
I've noticed them doingsomething with their mouth and
licking their lips and it's likeit's just kind of irritating.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Jimmy Johnson, the guy with all the big mane of
white hair.
Great hair, great hair.
Every time he talks he goesyeah, I'm picking the cheese,
he'll do that, I'm just going,what the hell?
So the number is 80.
Count the number of times yousee him do that during the whole
broadcast.
Over and under is 80.
A lot of action going on thatone.
Everyone's betting heavy on theover.
He'll do it more than 80 times.
Check that out.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
You might have to have a couple of replays on it,
oh yeah, slow motion, slowmotion.
That's when it can really comeinto its own.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Another over and under.
The number on this one over andunder is five.
The number of times TravisKelsey will say baby when being
interviewed.
Look, he lives in Kansas.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
City.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
Not the biggest vocabulary.
Yeah, we're going to get inthere baby.
Yeah, where's the cheese?
Baby, I'm going cheese, baby,baby.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Baby, baby.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Baby baby.
Is that your girlfriend outthere telling you hey baby, hey,
baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Is that your girlfriend outthere telling you hey baby, hey,
baby, baby, that's my baby.
He calls guys baby.
That's right, everybody's babyBaby baby.
So the betting action is wayover the five on the baby thing.
Okay, right, this one is likethis is an easy bet cost, so you
should do this one becauseyou'll win money on.
(15:12):
This is an easy bet, so youshould do this one because
you'll win money on this.
Another over and under.
The number is zero.
The number of times TaylorSwift will be shown on TV
without a drink in her hand?
None, every time they show her.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Tay Tay likes to drink Apparently she admits that
she's got a bit of a problem.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
I would say, man every football game she's got
wine, she's got a bit of aproblem.
I would say, man, everyfootball game she's got wine,
she's got dark drink, bourbon.
I mean, the woman likes todrink Gee.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Bourbon and beer, bourbon and wine.
What a dreadful idea.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
That's talking like massive headache.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Yeah, it is.
She hugs Travis at the end ofthe game.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Big, tall and stinky.
He goes hi, baby, he gets herinto her.
How'd it go?
Yes, it will.
The big bet on that is the over, because they're going to show
her.
Every time they show her she'sgoing to have a drink.
She always does.
Okay, this is just like an oddsbet.
On the winner's podium afterthe game, terry Bradshaw will
(16:13):
ask Coach Reed of the Chiefs, toroll on over here.
He did it last year.
He got crucified on socialmedia because Coach Reed, as you
know, is slightly round andoverweight.
Instead of saying come on overhere, coach Estar, come on, come
on.
He said hey, coach Reed, rollon over here.
I want to answer some questions.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I like that that actually happens.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Will he do it again?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Now they're betting on some ofthe commercials already.
Okay, you're familiar withPeyton Manning, right, every
time he was in the huddle heused to be quarterback for the
Broncos.
His last five years of hiscareer.
He's staying at the line.
Everyone has their own thing,right.
Dallas Cowboys quarterback DakPrescott always goes here we go,
and then they hacked him off.
(16:57):
Peyton Manning.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Omaha.
Omaha, so they're betting doesPeyton Manning really eat Omaha
steaks?
I'm sure if they send himenough for free he will.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
I thought it was the city, but no, I guess Omaha
steaks, omaha steaks, omahasteaks.
He's actually doing advertising.
I never thought about that.
Okay, vince, you will fall inthis category.
Okay, Over and under 30 million, big number, 30 million, the
(17:29):
number of men that will crywatching the new Budweiser
Clydesdale commercial.
Look at that little horse.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh look, it's my little pony.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I've seen the commercial.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
You will.
Oh really, Is it like the onewith the little puppy?
Remember that a couple of yearsago.
It's just a little horsey oh,it's a horsey.
Yeah, those things are huge.
I've been around those, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yeah, this one, this is a little baby, he won't be
small for long, okay, cool.
We're getting a lot of actionon this bet here too.
This is an easy money bet.
Costello will be deported byhalftime.
I'm betting on that one too.
Get out of here.
Send this boner back to England.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
I'm not brown enough man.
I'm not brown enough to bedeported.
What?
Speaker 1 (18:19):
do you think you're doing All the brown people
deporting first?
Well, maybe I see it.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
He's in a spot, especially in somewhere like
Kansas at this time of year.
Hey look brown guy, get him.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
So you fall in a really rare category.
You're illegal, but white, no,I'm legal.
Now Trump goes, well, I don'tcare, he can stay Next.
You Nope, brown Nope, just forthat I'm leaving.
You were in the turban, youwere in the turban, now you're
out.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, taking off his turban.
Is that man a Jew?
Just give me some.
It's here.
The clamp down is here.
Fascists have taken over.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Bye, bye, bye, bye, deported, back to London.
There are worse places to go.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I tell you what.
Somebody offered me a radio jobin England.
I told my sister this this isthe first time in 40 something
years I've ever actuallyconsidered it.
Somebody offered me a job.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
So if you were offered, you'd be working for
the BBC 2, bbc 3?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Oh there's lots of stations.
Oh, I'd love to BBC 1.
Radio 1 is too kiddy.
Radio 2, I could do.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I'll ask you a question, okay, so we know what
radio is like in America now.
Not very many people listen toregular terrestrial radio.
Is In America now.
Not very many people listen toregular terrestrial radio.
Is it the same effect inEngland?
The same thing.
That radio there is like it isall over the world, just like in
the shitter.
Nobody listens to it.
It's a podcast, baby.
It's a podcast.
I said baby, I'm Travis Kelsey,did you?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
get the podcast baby.
I think that radio is stillquite strong because of the BBC.
The BBC is quite a strongentity.
Although they've tried to screwit up enough times, they put so
much onto the Internet, theterrestrial radio is still there
, like Radio.
1 was what took over from allthe took over from the pirates
(20:09):
way back in the 60s.
I remember that.
Yep, they went and bombed thebloody boat.
For Christ's sake, they sunk itSunk the Amiibo.
I mean, there was more than oneboat.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
So there's one strong entity left because of the news
factor, I guess which is BBCOne.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
BBC One is kind of like chart-topping Actually it's
more than that.
Now They've got BBC One ExtraBBC One well, well, not BBC One,
it'd be Radio One, radio OneExtra Radio One.
This, that and the other.
Radio One Hip Hop Radio.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
One, but there's a lot of podcasts that come out in
England, just as there is thatmay come out here in America.
So a lot of people listen toBBC.
They just listen to podcasts.
Or you can stream your ownmusic in England, just like you
can here.
So I would listen to regularterrestrial radio.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Well, they do still have that, like Radio 4.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
But we still have regular radio in this country as
well too.
There's no one who listens toit anymore, so you know.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
It's true Even in this funny little town that I
awkwardly reside in.
I mean plenty of radio stations.
I don't know if anybody listensto them or not.
Some of them are really quitebizarre.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Out of desperation.
Sometimes I'm in a differentcar that has no satellite.
I don't know where I can put myphone up.
I have to turn on regular radioJust to go having to flash back
back back.
There's hardly any.
The only thing I notice isthere's really no announcers,
it's just pre-recorded digitallines.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
You're listening to music.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
There's just no one talking.
They cut it out.
When I first moved to Denveryears ago, they had live
announcers, but now there's justa handful.
The only ones that are thereare in the most important show,
Morning Drive.
Thank you very much, butthere's nobody to listen to, so
I even bought it.
It's.
It's a bad bad.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Oh, I know it's awful , it's dreadful.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
But if we were still in the market to buy one, we
would cost an hour to buy one.
Yeah, it would be liveannouncers and personality plus
all around the clock.
That's the way we would do ourstation.
Yes, good.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Personality would be first Drinking coffee and eating
M&Ms at all times.
Yeah, personality would befirst.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
If we can't hire any personalities, we'd be on split
shifts 12 hours for you, 12hours for me.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We have enough trouble doing half an hour no
not a bit, man, I can go all day.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
So not a problem, don't get me started, I can go
all day.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
We are, of course course, the cancelled radio guys
just thinking about that on thehalf hour.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Um, that sounded right being part of the reason.
I was a cancelled radio guybecause it wouldn't shut up.
Don't say that I can't stopmyself.
He said what he can't helphimself do you know?
Speaker 2 (22:50):
do you know?
I was thinking about going tothe Waffle House today just for
shits and grins and anotherheart attack.
And do you know what they'redoing?
They're charging an eggsurcharge.
I can't say I really blame them.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
What is an egg surcharge?
Does that mean there's a feefor cracking the egg, or what is
?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
that it's an extra fee for having eggs.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Because the cost of eggs is so high.
Is that why, I guess?
Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yep, that's why they're going to an egg
surcharge, don't think that'sgood.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
That's the same as an egg tariff, I guess, right,
what's the difference?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's a tariff.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Yes, You're paying a tariff to eat the eggs it's a
tariff like this.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
It's the most beautiful word in the American
dictionary.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I love tariff.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
It's genius.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
As he goes, he goes.
The most beautiful word in theAmerican dictionary I love his
juice.
As he goes, he goes.
You know, americans may sufferfor short term, but they won't
mind.
Who told you we don't mind?
What are you stupid?
Of course we mind.
I don't even suffer one damnday.
Have you ever been to a WaffleHouse before?
Oh God, yeah, I want to makesure because you know, being
from the South, we're outpartying all night by 3 o'clock
(23:56):
in the morning.
There's no better food at 3 amthan going to the Waffle House,
Totally shit-faced, and justgoing.
I had the thing I can make it.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
And then they give you whatever they feel like.
Oh, here, take this.
I have a friend who she workedin a Waffle House.
She's a musician now, but whenI met her she's just a young
lady Got to start somewhere.
Very, very attractive In Denveractually.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Which is off the Springs area.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
And she was around about 17, I guess 18, right
about then getting her first job, you know.
And her first job was at aWaffle House, and she hated it,
needless to say.
And what she really hated waswalking into the kitchen finding
that the other waitress and thecook were having sex on top of
the waffles.
Hey, make you think again aboutgoing to a waffle house.
(24:48):
It's like no Baby, baby, giveme your waffle.
Come on, she said.
I just hung it up.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I'm going to leave a secret behind the whipped butter
.
That goes with the practice.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
There you go, you got it.
Okay, oh gosh, you ain'tkidding.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
It's an institution though, man, I'm from a Quapfa
house.
It's an institution, so I'msure that if they weren't the
first couple to do it, then theywon't be the last.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
You know it, you know , it.
Hey, you know getting late onthe clock.
All those ass-griddled pancakes.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Good, ass-griddled ass.
Put some of that butter backthere, baby.
Oh, I've got a baby.
The Kelsey baby again.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Oh well, oh, more babies.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
well, Can you stand it?
I mean, are we ready just todelve right into the Doak Awards
?
I mean you've got to set thetheme and the mood just right
for the Doak Awards okay.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yes, I am.
I am ready for the Doak Awards.
Here we go.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Listen.
According to this, according tothis According to this.
According to this Ladies andgentlemen, I would like to
invite you to the Doke Awards.
Get your spoons out, play yourspoons.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I'll do this one Very good, Mr.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Bailey, at this point we'll flash a picture of the
Doke on the screens and this iswhat the Doke Award looks like.
It's a set of crooked teeth ona gold stand.
So there you go.
This year's Doke Award is kindof tied in and related to the
Grammy Awards.
Okay, this year's Doke Awardsare tied into music.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Yep Music Music power , power, power, power, power.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Where'd the West Virginia Hibbley music go?
We played that because theoriginal Doke namesake of the
Doke Awards is from West.
By God, Virginia, Virginia.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Never been there.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh, would you like that, alrighty, I should be
wearing my black tie to getready to give out these Doke
Awards here.
I don't want to be putting inthose teeth you buy to dress up.
Need to be putting in our BillyBob teeth to do the Doke Awards
right.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
They should, but well , I don't know, my teeth are
pretty belly-bobbed these daystoo.
Yeah, All right, so we've gotthe music going.
What's our first?
Speaker 1 (27:20):
When's the last time you've been to the dentist?
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Oh Christ, a long time.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
You can win the Lifetime Achievement Doke Award
for no dental business.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
All right.
Well, I think Doug just walkedin the building.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
My neck rib.
Get my neck rib.
Okay, all right, duke.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Get rid of it.
Shut the hell up.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Sip it, sip it, sip it, sip it.
This song last year was done.
The same title was done by twodifferent people.
The song Houdini was done byDua Lipa and Eminem.
Both did a song called Houdini.
But the first Doke Award of thenight goes to Kanye West for
his Houdini, because he made hiswife's clothes disappear on the
(28:11):
red carpet.
Oh, I saw that he get theHoudini number one Doke Award
because he had his wife buttnaked on the red carpet.
Oh, I saw that He'd get theHoudini number one don't go work
.
Because he had his wife buttnaked on the red carpet.
Not that there's anything wrongwith that, because she looks
pretty good naked.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
She did look very good naked, I must say.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
They walked the red carpet.
Then they asked him to get thehell out and he got in his car
and they left.
Red carpet pictures, pictures,controversy, leave.
That was it.
That's the way to do it.
He was not allowed in becausethey're thinking about even
charging her with publiclewdness.
Oh, why doesn't Kanye show upnaked?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Not that I want to see that, but it's as fair as
fair.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Does she like to do that on her own, or does he make
her do that?
This could be a really bigissue, but the Houdini Award
goes to Kanye West for makinghis wife's clothes disappear,
and gratefully so on the redcarpet.
We thank you, kanye.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Yes, we do, we do, we do.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Thank you.
She looks good.
She's got a big degree.
She's a smart woman.
What the hell is she doing?
That's for another day, allright.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Okay, so Don't go on number two.
No.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Doke.
There's actually such a thingas a good Doke Award.
This is the first time.
Okay, all right For CowboyCarter.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
That goes to former President Jimmy Carter, showing
us what a human being is reallysupposed to be like.
And for you, sir, from my homestate of Georgia, I salute you
for 100 years of just being agreat, great human being.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
So you get the Doke Award.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yours is special.
It has teeth correction on it,okay.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
The teeth are great.
Yeah, well, he deserves it.
He did an awful lot of good hedid and everybody hated him.
It doesn't make any sense.
Now, where I come from, wedon't Like 50 years later, look
what happens.
We put a felon in the WhiteHouse, yeah, you explain that to
your grandkids, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
A convicted sex offender twice impeached, felon
rapist president.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Oh, you're missing a few out there, like extortionist
thief and more.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
We're doing something wrong.
It's like, for example you wantto be successful.
Okay, let's look at Joe Rogan.
Okay, midget lost his hair dueto steroids.
Oh, midgets.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
You understand there was a midget at the control of
that helicopter that crashedinto that 737 or 707?
.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
The one in DC.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, why do you say midget?
What do you mean?
Midget?
That's what President Trumpsaid.
Well, it was probably themidget who was in control.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
You mean mental midget, but actually midget is
not a politically correct termanymore.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
anyway, Well, I know that, but he used it and said it
was the midget who did this,you know.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Mental midget.
Is that what he meant?
Speaker 2 (30:58):
I think he just meant midget period.
Well, the guy wasn't, so Idon't know where he got that
from.
No, it's because of the otherthing that he stopped, not the
Equal Rights Amendment, but theemployment where you give
everything.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Oh, the DEI thing okay.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Yeah, that.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
But he turned out not to be the minority he thought
he was anyway.
So he was wrong, wrong and thenwrong.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
Oh wrong, wrong, wrong.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Got like the wrong on the terrace.
Okay, are you ready for thethird Doke Award?
Doke Award number three it'sthe Pink Pony Club Doke Award.
Okay, oh, that goes to the guywe were just talking about,
trump, for dissolving the DEIprogram.
There will be no more Pink PonyClub to go to, okay?
So Caparon says in her song.
(31:43):
It's a place where all boys andgirls can go and be queens.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Not anymore.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Pink Pony Club.
Bye-bye.
Thanks to Trumpers.
Yep, yep, you'll be in jailnext.
So Doak Award number three goesto Trump and he gets the
special version, the Doak PinkPony Club Award, doak sorry
Picture.
Doak wearing a pink tutu.
That's your award, okay.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Let's put a picture of Doak up there, just so that
people can see.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, throw it up there Once again see him.
I feel like I need a shower.
I need a shower.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, Ben Ben Moving on.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
We're moving on.
The next Doke Award.
Okay, it's the Shaboozy TipsySong Doke Award that goes to
President Biden for his tipsywalk.
Like his diaper is full Lovelylovely, lovely, lovely Look if
you ever watch him walk, won'tsay gotta get to the restroom,
(32:40):
change my diaper, holy.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Change your diaper.
Well, we're going to haveanother four years of that,
that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Biden.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
No, Biden's gone.
Yes, I know, but Trump has adiaper as well.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Oh, that's a new thing.
Okay, trump diaper.
Okay, I'm filming that one.
Okay, alright, the FlowersMiley Cyrus Doke Award goes to
Costello For sending Mileyflowers every day and getting
absolutely zero response.
Oh, baby, yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
I loved it when you were 10.
Oh God, Baby, I'm sorry, butthen daffodils is going to have
to be put on hold.
Why did you grow up for it?
Oh God, Baby, I'm sorry, butthen Daffodils is going to have
to be put on hold.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Why did you grow up for it?
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Oh God, oh newsflash, in case you didn't hear it.
When they were talking to Miley, someone said well, what
happened to Hannah Montana?
She just got this look on herface and said Hannah Montana was
murdered.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah, our dad, she just did.
I was a part of it.
He got me famous, but it wasgone yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Do you know, when I was at Bally's we did the
world's biggest achy-breaky.
Yeah, I'm proud of myself forthat.
Somebody stole his guitar whilehe was there, just to make him
feel at home.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Is that one of your brilliant radio promotional
ideas?
To do the achy breaky?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
No, no, no, it wasn't a radio, not my radio thing.
I was in charge of sound backthen.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Save that idea for when we get our radio session.
Okay, the achy, we'll do thebiggest achy breaky.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Yeah, they'll have forgotten about it by then.
Anyway, he'll probably be dead.
He brought it back.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
He played at the Trump Inauguration Ball, one of
the balls.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Of course he did, because that's where everybody's
brain's at Yep A little stuckin that he blamed his lousy
performance on bad equipment,but he really sucked.
Oh yeah, bad workman blames histools.
Yeah, it's hard to believe.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
I know how you feel.
It's hard to believe that.
Oh, miley came from that, ohGod.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Miley.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yeah, well, as far as we know, Well, that's true, as
far as we know.
Back to the award ceremony,gang.
Okay, enough chit-chat, back tothe awards.
Okay, here are my hands, thefinal Doak Award of the evening.
Oh, big tremolo.
I thought there'd be cheers forthat.
(34:56):
No more awards.
This is the Tortured PoetSociety Duke Award, and that
goes to the namesake.
It goes to himself Duke.
Duke Goes to Duke for all thesongs he's written that has
never been recorded and the bookhe wrote that was read by 10
people and that counts.
Twice by his mother, okay, andonce by you and once by me.
(35:18):
So Doak is truly a torturedpoet.
So to you, doak, your old wargoes to you, doak.
You just keep writing, buddy.
One day someone will readsomething that you write and
probably, if you write your ownobituary, the business will
guarantee you none either.
I was a great man.
I wrote great songs.
Screw the dentist.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
I might write a sequel to my book.
I'm too busy scraping the crapoff my teeth to go to the
dentist.
Yeah, floss, what the hell isthat?
Speaker 1 (35:47):
floss.
You get one floss and it wouldnever come out again.
You'd have to leave it in thereforever.
You'd have to surgically removeit.
Back then with a piece of amberFrom 1984.
Speaker 2 (35:58):
Oh lovely.
Yes, from the place in SouthCharleston Probably.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
What was the name of his book?
Anyway, you actually read partsof the book?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Yes, I did.
Oh gosh, I can't remember.
It was something like my Lifeand how I Lived it, or something
.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
My Life in my Mommy's Basement by Doak, is that it?
Speaker 2 (36:18):
My Life, my Career and and my lack of dentistry.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Yes, that's it Mommy's basement.
I'm out there writing songs inmy mommy's basement.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
And all the people that I think that I know, who
probably know me but reallydon't.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
So how many chapters was this book?
Was it like two chapters?
Speaker 2 (36:33):
right, I think it was about ten chapters, but it was
like each one was a person and Idon't think you nor I got even
more than uh, like three linesin the book after this.
Why would we?
This is why we're pissed off athim.
How dare you, how dare you notin clues?
I mean, come on, we're big timecelebrities now.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
We're all around the world again, the thing is with
him.
We're not evil, we're notChristian.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Oh, that's right, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
He listened to the show for the first time to see
what we're doing, and he heardyou say damn, and now, that was
it.
You said damn.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Damn, smite him, smite him.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
I remember he chastised you.
He gave me some crap about it,didn't he?
I can't listen to that showbecause of your language.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
You know what?
It wasn't just that, butsometime after, I think, he got
really drunk and he went on thistirade and he was extremely
rude.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Mr Southern Baptist religious got drunk.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
He got drunk and gave me a ration of shit.
I mean big time I should havekept it.
Maybe I still got it somewhere.
And he drank.
I didn't know he drank Drankbeer apparently.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Apparently lots of it .
Just look at this thing it'sgrowing by the minute, holy crap
.
Come back on the alcohol.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Zempik won't help you with that, my friend.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Not with that yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Not with the alcohol-y no, sir.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Well, here's your Super Bowl Sundays.
This week you got your DokeAward.
Now you know what a Doke Awardlooks like.
So if you send us an hate mailgoing, please don't do that
again.
I would understand.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
I think maybe we run it dry every other year.
I mean we could do it kind oflike what is it?
Next year we'll do it based onmovies.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Okay, this year was music, Next year the Doke Awards
will be based on movies.
Okay, we can do that yes, yeah.
So I said we're planning my menufor Super Bowl Sunday.
I think I'm going to do acombination.
I do have a smoker, I do somemean smoked ribs.
I'm going to do a combination.
I'm going to do I do have asmoker, I do some mean smoked
ribs, I'm going to do some ribs,and we're thinking just of the
all-American thing, just doinghot dogs and hamburgers.
(38:42):
You know, for Super Bowl, placeyour bets, unless you live in
South Carolina where you can'tdo anything.
Yeah, you can Screw yourneighbor's wife, that's okay
then, are you dog?
I'm and your sister.
There goes.
Duke, Get down there.
Duke Get down in the basement.
Get it there you go.
Take a breather.
(39:03):
All right, back at it All right, thank you.
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