December 6, 2024 • 37 mins
Remember that time you called the Butterball hotline just to see if they actually had answers to your ridiculous turkey questions? We certainly do, and it still makes us chuckle. This episode takes a humorous stroll through our Thanksgiving memories, from the quirks of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade to the unspoken rules of the Westminster Dog Show. We even touch on the ever-expanding phenomenon of Black Friday, wondering aloud if anyone actually uses those absurd gadgets and skincare products that flood the holiday sales.
But there's more than just Thanksgiving chatter on our menu. We can't resist a lively debate on holiday music, especially when it involves refusing to subject ourselves to "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Cher also takes center stage as we celebrate her holiday album and iconic parade performance. Her memoir, her chart-topping history that once bested The Beatles, and our wishful thinking about having her as a guest add to the fun.
As we reminisce, we dive into tales from our radio broadcasting days, recounting escapades involving stuffed squirrel contests and the unpredictable drama of radio station life. Each story comes with its own blend of nostalgia and absurdity, from the antics of unforgettable engineers to chaotic Christmas parties. With promises of more outrageous tales to come, we wrap up with a farewell that leaves you eagerly anticipating our next installment of holiday hilarity.
Subscribe to 'The Original Canceled Radio Guys' . Go to https://www.ChrisandCostello.com
Email ChrisandCostello@Yahoo.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
You know what?
You remind me of a chimpanzeein a zoo Sitting in his cage
Going oh fuck, don't rock theboat.
Don't rock the boat, baby.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm doing don't rock the boat, are you ready, sir?
Here we go, there we go.
Hey, hey, this is Chris.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You haven't even eaten the turkey yet.
Hi Costello here, Poor Chris.
Yeah, we got to say Happy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Thanksgiving, I know going gobble, gobble, gobble
gobble.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I'm going to say gobble gobble, then Happy
Thanksgiving.
Oh well, post, I should havethought of that.
Let's see what we got here.
No, that's about it.
Today, the turkey just hit thefan.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm surprised you haven't taken it.
I mean, being British, this isfor you.
Don't give a shit all the days,it's just, it's all about an
eating day, so eating's good.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, maybe at your house.
I've got to get to Trader Joe'sbefore they close.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
This reminds me of three things.
Two are still active.
One I miss doing.
I used to do my terrestrialradio show.
One of course I always got towatch the Macy's Thanksgiving
Day Parade, don't care how young, how old you are, it's just
always fun to watch.
So I still watch it.
Hell, no, I'm kidding.
Second one is the WestminsterDog Show.
(01:21):
You know, man, I love itbecause having three dogs you
know this is true, you have to,you gotta get a watch.
I always hope my breed them go.
Why does my breed never win?
I got a bernese mountain dog, ablack russian terrier and the
the one they just entered totheir categories just two years
ago, a legato, which is anitalian truffle hunting dog
(01:42):
especially not in italy, and Ihad no truffles in my backyard.
He's pretty useless.
She just goes in the back andjust digs up a bunch of holes
looking for something.
You know I look at her.
She'll just spend hours lookinginto a hole and just digging.
I'm going, I keep going outthere.
We don't have any truffles.
I'm sorry, just give it up.
No truffles here.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You should buy some and bury them under the tree and
give them to her.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
She finds mushrooms and she goes is this it Nope?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Really Not bad.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Good try.
And the third thing I don'tthink it's available anymore.
You may remember this.
I remember when Butterball hadthe Butterball hotline for
numbnuts like me at that timewho didn't know how to do a
turkey or didn't know how totake the gut bag out and stuff.
I didn't cook a turkey one yearwith the gut bag in there.
(02:31):
I go what's that smell?
Crap the bag's over there.
I said, did you put stuffing init?
Well, it looked like it alreadyhad stuffing in it.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But man, I don't think it's wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
But I used to call and harass that hotline all the
time.
They try to be nice andstraight.
I just put them on live andjust dial them up.
How can I help you?
I go do I need to spank theturkey before I stuff it?
And they'd go oh no, sir, youdon't have to beat the meat on
this one to get it nice andtender.
(03:00):
So I'd go through telling me Ican't beat my meat and they'd
start to go.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You know you draw me into something.
Yeah, it was just they'd hangup.
I called back yet anotheroperator and so I asked the
other questions and stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
It'd be great, probably, really enjoyed it
after they figured out what wasgoing on, and at this point we
should probably mention thatthis is probably exactly what
Chris would be doing had he notdecided to play with us here at
the cancelled radio guys.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
We've decided to call ourselves that because well,
are you saying I'd be beating mymeat or spanking the turkey?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Or both.
You'd probably be beating yourmeat while you spank your turkey
.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I don't know, does it sound better?
It's cool seeing spanky.
Let's try and spank the turkey.
You have to make it seasonal, Iguess.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yes, indeed, it's something about dolphins I can't
remember.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I just miss the.
I do miss that butterballhotline.
They try to be so straight andthey don't want to offend
anybody.
They don't want to fall intowhatever you're asking.
You just torture them and gocrazy.
Thanksgiving is a kind of weirdtime of year anyway.
How is that You're supposed tobe giving thanks?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I'm just saying it is .
We're in the midst of winter.
We're about to get intoChristmas.
We've in the midst of winter.
We're about to get intoChristmas.
Well, we've been into Christmassince July the 5th.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Since the end of Halloween, but officially.
But hey, I mean also, it's likethe thing about Thanksgiving,
of course, is Black Friday.
It always used to be.
Black Friday was one day, theday after Thanksgiving, of
course.
The weekend they'd open itafter Thanksgiving.
People would sleep out there,wait for the stores to open at 6
am to get all these super deals, and that was part of it.
(04:50):
You had to go out there andwait in the cold and wait in
line and the rush of people.
I was kind of like the fun ofit, you know.
But now Black Friday has beengoing on all friggin' month.
Every TV show you look at, atthe end of the show they're
going let's go to our own superdeals, let's log into this and
get these deals.
They're always selling a bunchof shit that I don't need.
What a great deal.
(05:11):
I'm just going.
I don't need the orange peelerand juice maker and sick of
straw and all in one thing I'mgoing.
I don't need that Stuff likethat A lot of skin care, a Stuff
like that A lot of skin care, alot of lotion, a lot of
freaking suitcases, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh, always suitcases.
Let me just show you somethingthat is probably in your
suitcase all the way from Vegas.
I can see the Grinch, butnobody else can.
You need to bring him on there.
You go there, he is Okay.
Now bring him and put him righthere.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Just kidding.
Siegel, if I had room here,he'd be.
Like he's a little bit active,he can't be.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's really not crap.
You have to put him on theother side there if you want him
in the shot.
If you can't hear that, Watchto see his feet.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
If I had him on the table, he'd be dancing all over.
Hear that Watch his feet.
If I had him on the table, he'dbe dancing all over the table.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh wonderful, I'm sorry to completely blow the
whole thing we were talkingabout, but I'm looking at this
guy.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Happy feet, man, happy feet, oh you got to get
seasonal man.
You got to get seasonal.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yes, you do get seasonal.
Man, you've got to get seasonal.
Yes, you do, yes, yes, and Ithink perhaps, maybe next week
we'll do our season, talkingabout seasonal, do our seasonal
Christmas music.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I was going to kind of mention that today we can
actually get into it, becauseonce Thanksgiving starts and
it's kind of a late day forThanksgiving this year, I mean,
it's kind of a short Christmasseason, I guess, which I think
is one of the reasons theystarted early, of course they
always do.
I used to always kick off myThanksgiving by calling the
Butterball Hotline, so that'sjust taken away.
Then I go Black Friday and gooh, black Friday is every day,
(07:00):
it's all over the.
You can buy online now too.
But the other thing is our newtradition, which is the chris
and costello, our list offavorite christmas songs.
Yes, so I was thinking aboutthat.
Today I'm going.
And which one did you pick lastyear, do you remember?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
the one I picked.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Oh yeah, I don't remember as far back as like two
days ago, but if you canremember, like your last
christmas did you think I want ahippopotamus for christ?
Did you pick I Want aHippopotamus for Christmas, did
you?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
pick that one.
That was the one you hated.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I do hate that and we're not playing it this year.
We're not going to play it thisyear.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
We're not huh.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Well, listen, it drives me nuts, especially the
original one.
I Want a Hippopotamus.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What a stupid-ass song.
It's a great song.
I even made a promo out of ittoo.
Yeah, you did, Yep.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
We should talk to someone who sings that song.
Let them wake up Christmasmorning and have a damn baby
hippopotamus in their house.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, very lucky for you, I can't find it right this
second I can tell you I likesome of the newer ones.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
It was about two or three years ago.
Gwen Stefani put out aChristmas CD.
I thought, oh well, she sings afew of the standards, but she
wrote a bunch of new songs,actually pretty damn good.
Last year I liked that new CherChristmas CD Last year's Cher
Christmas CD.
It came out a year ago and sheeven sang it at the Macy's
Parade Last year.
(08:28):
It made the debut of the singleand it really sounds like that
song you know you believe inthem After all it kind of sounds
that, with the synthetic voiceas well, and it's just classic
Sierra, it just sounds good.
She's making the rounds Talkshows and interviews again
Podcasts, except for this one,you know, talking, it just
sounds good.
And she's making the rounds oftalk shows and interviews again
(08:48):
podcasts except for this one,you know talking, you know,
because she's going to resell,get the sales up again for a
Christmas CD.
So she's 78 years old now andshe dates a guy who's 40 years
younger than she is.
That's not me.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You're not 40 years younger than she is.
I'm trying to emulate Startsinging.
I'm trying to emulate Startsinging.
Come on, I'm going to emulateCher Sing.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Sing it, bud Sing it Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Come on sing it.
What were the words?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I'm going to emulate.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Cher.
I'm going to emulate, cher.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You sound like a frigging munchkin.
Well, I know so does she.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
She's like a freaking munchkin.
Well, I know, so does she.
She's got this in the Christmaself.
Hang on, let me voice change.
I'm a Christmas elf.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I've reached puberty.
She's got a good voice to gowith it, so when she does that
synthesizing, it sounds reallygood.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Here's why Now it'll sound a lot different.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Did you ever listen to that CD last year?
Your Christmas CD, cher?
It's really good.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
No, why, why would I?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Also, we've got to keep promoting Cher.
Another reason why she's outthere talking get the sales of
the Christmas CD again.
But she's released her memoir.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's called Cher, part one.
Yes, her memoir is called share, part one.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yes, part one.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I liked what she said about that.
She said you know what?
I've taken the money.
I guess I better write thebloody book.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Well, she's 78.
She better write part two.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, you know she's not buying any green bananas
right now, so you know this partwas good.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
It's kind of like a teasing in a way.
So she goes, you know, talkingabout all the.
She had a couple of husbandsand then all the you know young
guys and guys that she dated,which is a lot, you know.
And they go well, you knowthey're dating and they're
hanging out with Cher.
So I am Cher.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So they expect a great, expect great sex, and you
know what they get it.
I went and she's 70-something.
That's great, that's great.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
It's called Cher.
I like it.
That's some great sex for metoo.
I'll be like that Cher.
It's just Cher being Cher.
I just think she's great.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Good sense of humor.
Good sense of humor.
She would work very well hereat the Canceled Radio Guys show.
She would be good.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
She'd be great.
So, cher, if you're listeningor if you have management people
listening or any fans of yourslistening, everyone contact Cher
and tell her she needs to comeon the Kristen Costello Canceled
Guys show.
We would have fun.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
We even have an Englishman on the show.
We don't bring him out veryoften.
This is true.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
She likes England.
One show she did.
I don't like to mention it toooften.
It's not the Rogan thing, sheain't that dumb, but she did do,
for whatever reason.
The Howard Stern thing here youhave an icon like Sharon DeSho,
so you want to have some fun.
I mean, you want those and youknow that she'd be the type to
bring it right back to you.
(11:52):
Oh, slap you in the face andtickle you.
Yes, to go into the thing I'm MrGreat Interviewer now because
I'm old and I don't have funlike I used to, so I'm going to
be known as a great intervieweryou know she's talking about.
So you had your first single Igot you, babe, and just rocking
up the charts and just you justcame so famous.
I mean, how do you do that?
I'm just going what a dumb assboring question.
(12:14):
It is a stupid question,something I didn't know.
She said that when her song, uh, that I got you knocked the
beatles off the charts they werenumber one and then kicked him
out and she took over number one.
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I didn't know that either.
That's a little bit of triviathat you know things to know and
yell.
That's exactly what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
So are you going to read the book Costello Cher's
memoir.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
If and when it comes out.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
part two oh, I know You'll buy the audio book.
Oh, part two.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh, I know You'll buy the audio book oh, that's a
good idea.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Read what's that?
I'll listen to it.
I'll do my headphones, becauseI was wearing his headphones.
Yeah Well, I do because youwon't look like a radio
professional.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Well, if I turn it up too loud with the speakers,
it'll feed back.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You don't hear my speakers feeding back now, do
you?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
That's true, we don't you know why?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Because I'm an ex-radio professional, you're
pro-professional.
A professional.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Pick up too fast.
Pick up too fast, as youremember, we used to do radio
Broadcast, radio Costello.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
You remember we both had to have what Like a third
class.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Oh, third class.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, license.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
That's an easy little third class thing.
What did moi have?
I had a first class radioengineering license.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Thank you very much.
Yeah, you and Noel.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
You know why they did it?
Because they did it because ithelped me at the beginning get
jobs and other people couldn'tget jobs.
When the night shifts are going, something happens, you can fix
it because you get a firstclass license.
I'm going to kick the damntransmitter.
Let's go kick it.
It comes back on.
Turn it off and turn it back on.
That's it.
I could do some minor internalwork, but I like to just kick it
(14:00):
or turn it on.
Turn it off like you do yourcell phone now, and if it came
back on, great.
If it didn't, I just call thereal engineer and just sign off
and go home that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I used to call.
Was it Noel who was ourengineer?
He was an interesting guy.
Oh, I'm a great man.
Oh yeah, I used to call himEngineer Bob.
Of course I did that to hisface and he'd always be walking
in on my shift, always becausebloody TIP would be going off
half the time and shit wouldhappen.
And I was Engineer Bob he.
(14:33):
During his time in Vietnambecause we're going back a few
years now he had his PT patrolboat blown up from underneath
him.
It was plunged into the water.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
That explains a lot.
That explains the strapping onthe head and the slow response.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Quite possibly he only retired, like last year, I
think he just kept going.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Wow, he's up there.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
He was up there, yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He's older than Cher is, I'm sure, jeez.
Well, you know my favoriteengineer even though Bob was
good, his name was John Heimer.
I always said if we had troublewith the transmitter, he's
gonna give it to him, but hewould do everything I asked for
I'd go.
You know what I said can youmake us louder on the dial so
they push into our station allof a sudden?
We jump out louder?
(15:19):
He did that, you know.
I said can you get more bass tomy mic and make our mic just
make my mic, our mic soundbetter, more deep and basic?
Anything I requested, anythingI requested he could do.
Excellent, but he really tookpride in his work.
It was about one morning wewere having some issues.
There was a lot of statickygoing on on the board, things
were dropping.
It just sounded like shit.
So you know me, I'm making funof him.
(15:41):
I'm going waiting on JohnHeimel maneuvering here and
fixing the transmitter Sure asslow today, hope we can do it.
And he was listening to me justgiving a crap as he was driving
in.
He was so worked up when he gotin.
He walks in the studio andstarted choking me Live on the
air.
I'm going oh, john Hyatt movie.
I said no, no, no.
(16:02):
Other people on the show wereshocked and going holy crap,
he's choking the crap out of me.
And he just absolutely lost it.
And he walked out, went back tothe transfer room, fixed it and
just got in his car and left.
And he came back the next dayand apologized.
I said no man, it was prettydamn funny.
I said.
But I really liked him, Irespect him, he was really great
.
But I'd never been choked livein the air by the frigging
(16:23):
engineer before.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was just thinking about another engineer I had,
which actually he was inColorado, roger Teague, I think
his name was, I remembercorrectly.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
But, the interesting thing about him was that he was
on the original recording of ICall the Law and the Law I.
He was part of that.
Yeah, he was a bass player, Ithink, oh, bass player, I think,
oh, bass player.
But then they had a big, areally famous recording studio.
It's open here, like uh, northof denver, a little bit in the
mountains there, rolling stoneswere there, beetles were there.
I mean, you saw, just just amillion people went there and
did music and recorded stuff.
You know, neil young did hisbest album oh, wait a minute,
(17:04):
and he also.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
He also, he came from Houston.
Hold that against him.
Well, freely.
Sorry, houston people.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That's Beyonce territory.
Beyonce territory, houston,aren't you?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
But anyway he went to school with Janice Joplin.
She was from Houston, he was inher class.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
So he drove her to drink and just go shopping.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
He was the holding company he was.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
You'll just have to look that up every time.
Every time he plays music, hemakes the dogs bark.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
That's probably the mailman at this time, Anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
So Having John Heimel , my engineer, choke me.
I hope John's still around.
I'd like for you to hear this,John.
He laughs now.
I hope John's still around.
I'd like for you to hear this,john, he laughs now and I do,
but my throat's never been thesame.
Let's get it.
It was like the beginning ofbeing choked.
Remember that original TVseries, night Court?
Do you remember watching that?
Yes, I do Remember the tall guywith the shaved head, right?
Yes, I forget what hischaracter's.
(18:04):
Yes, what's his name?
I don't remember his name.
Oh, bull, right, was it Bull?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, big, tall guy.
He was like the bailiff orwhatever, and I forget what his
name was, but he was a reallytall dude.
He was having to be in towndoing something over the weekend
so I had him come in on Fridayand he was late.
So I guess he had to get a feelof what show he's coming on and
just kind of see what what wewere like.
He was listening to me and I'mgiving him shit because he's
(18:31):
late.
You know, as I get theseattitudes, I'm an actor in a big
show, I don't have to be ontime.
I have to come late, make anappearance.
You know, and he's listening tome do this.
And he comes, he bursts in thestudio and since I had the
commercial, he's going.
God damn it.
And you know there's traffic.
Is that my fault and I'm late?
So I'm not that way.
(18:52):
You make people think I'm thatway.
Now you're giving the wrongimpression of who I am.
He's like in my face.
He's like 6 20, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
He's gonna kill me on the show.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I mean just just don't choke me, okay.
So it's, it's beginning becauseyou have a whole like a domino
effect.
You know, once you start peoplecoming in wanting to hit you
and choke you, it just doesn'tstop.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It's funny, you have all these marvelous memories
that we're spitting up.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well, these are reasons why we're canceled radio
, guys, because of stuff likethis.
Well, of course I got sued.
We got complaints a lot, butyou know what?
We have massive ratings.
That's the whole point.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A lot of fun too.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yes, One time during my birthday and we were doing a
show on my birthday, okay.
so I guess the other staffthought it would be great if we
could have some dancer strippercome in and dance.
I'm going and she's doing herthing, dancing.
I'm thinking to myself.
I'm going.
You know, we're radio guys, noone can see her doing this, and
(19:53):
she's.
We're live on the show.
You want me to describe whatshe's doing?
Okay, she's grinding my leftleg right now.
Now she's pressing her breastsup against my chin.
That's why, you know, I justI'll just describe it.
And then, as she was leaving,I'm going.
Well, she's a pretty girl, butyou know she wasn't really all
that good.
You know, she didn't have muchin the rhythm department and she
(20:15):
could have been a little bitmore sexy and stuff.
Well, guess what?
She comes tearing back down thehall these days, why do we have
people with security around thestudio?
I have no idea, but it's like,oh, go on back there and beat
the shit out of them.
So she comes in and goes andshe was crying.
I went holy crap, she goes.
You asshole.
I was here trying to dosomething special for your
birthday and slapped me rightacross the face and then walked
(20:36):
out.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Well, that's two slaps around the face that I
know that you've had.
I'm sure there's plenty more.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, and I just you know, I kind of felt bad for her
.
I said, look, this is showbiz,baby, we're just having fun and
you have to learn to go with theflow.
This is not a personal thingagainst you.
And she was like shaking andshe was red.
I'm going, good God.
I pushed the cycle button onher.
You know I was thinking knife,knife, knife.
(21:03):
How many things didn't happento you, Costello.
I mean, why did you say Ididn't?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
happen to you, costello?
I didn't have anybody come upand go play Misty for me.
Actually.
No, think back.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Great movie play Misty for me by the way Clean
this wood, find this wood.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Good movie oh okay, well, think back to our WVSR
days, and I got every four of mynew tires slashed.
Remember that?
Who did that?
Uh, I think it was just.
Uh, this woman who, um, I guessI went out on a date with her
or something, and it really wasjust just that come over to my
(21:39):
house and I'll make you dinner.
It's like, well, if you tell meI'm coming around to your house
, we're going to make dinner.
That's what's going to happenokay, what was she?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
the dinner is that it ?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
well, I think she wanted to be the dinner.
I just started dating thisother woman who I unfortunately
married, but anyway.
So, um, being the nice guy I am, I thought, well, I better not
now.
So I guess she was kind ofpissed off at me after that and
I have a feeling, and I'll bringsomething up here that I don't
know if you know that I know,but we'll see.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Uh why would she be pissed?
Because, because you went toher house.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Because I wouldn't screw her, because I wouldn't.
You know, here's my bed, great,lovely bed, see you.
But so later on, when I went upto Pittsburgh we're in the
middle of Pittsburgh this womancomes running up going hey
Costello, how are you?
I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here.
Hey, costello, how are you?
(22:29):
I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here too.
I go meet my wife.
She also was probably, I mean,she was definitely stalking me
all the way to Pittsburgh, forChrist's sake.
But this is something I'm goingto put you really on the spot
here and you can deny if youlike.
But at the time that we partedcompany, somebody either called
(22:54):
the local newspaper and saidwell, he was fired because he
was helping somebody cheat onour million-dollar prize thing.
That's something to do with astuffed squirrel, that's about
all I can remember.
That never happens, by the way,so I don't know whether that
was her.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
What the hell are you doing with a stuffed squirrel?
I?
Speaker 1 (23:11):
mean geez, it's more fun to make a life turkey than
it is to make a stuffed squirrel.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So what?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
are you doing?
I can't remember what thecompetition was, but oh, I know
You're going to give.
Well, the station was givinglike $1,000 worth of lottery
tickets.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I said well, oh, right Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
If you remember that.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Here's some scratch tickets.
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I mean you're right, it's a good idea actually.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
That means you'll win , even because those lottery
tickets happen once in a while,but at least they get excited.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
But apparently this woman had come up and complained
that she hadn't won and I hadtold her that she would win and
to do?
I can't remember what exactlyit was.
It wasn't any sexual favors oranything like that.
Sure, no, I didn't need that, Ihad that covered.
I was happily, happily, beingscrewed.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
As we're folks listening.
You're figuring out.
It's Chris and Castillo makingnew friends wherever we go.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yes, we are.
And Chris is going.
Oh shit, he knows about that.
Fuck.
Never mentioned it.
In the last three, four yearswe've been talking.
I remember paying my soon-to-bewife.
Let me see what they've writtenabout you in the paper.
I go, no.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Why?
Where did that come from in thepaper?
Who did?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
it.
I don't know.
I couldn't find out, I don'tknow.
I don't know whether the sourcewas the station.
I think it was because somebodywas quoted.
Might have been Doug, couldhave been you, could have been
Chad, I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Once you're gone, you've got a new thing going on.
I wouldn't do that, but sosomeone for a joke may have done
it.
It wasn't me, so I can clearthat up right now for you.
So if it was.
I'd tell you, it's been a longtime I wouldn't mind telling you
, but it wasn't me so I don't dothat.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I'll tell you what it's an anniversary which number
in the face.
So I'm just telling you, Bailey.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Around Thanksgiving, or something that happened.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
It was.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Thanksgiving.
I thought it was.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yeah, fire me, would you?
Just because I abused your wifeI?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
tell you who would do something like that.
Okay, it wasn't me, but I tellyou who would do something like
that.
A very vindictive person thatwould have been the ex-wife.
She would do something likethat in a very vindictive person
that would have been theex-wife.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
She would do something like that in a
frigging heartbeat, oh really,oh, hell yeah.
Didn't think of that oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
I mean, I'll tell you why.
Because she's still doing stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Still.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Jeez, still does you do something, you're headed the
wrong way.
She will not let up on you.
Always hold a grudge, neverforget.
If she has a chance to dosomething, burn you or call a
newspaper or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yep, that's exactly something she would do.
Well, I didn't even think ofthat.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I would apologize for her, but I don't have any
reason.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
We don't know that she did, but this is good.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh, if I'm a betting man which I am I would put money
on that.
She wins, she's it.
Well, the bad news for her wasShe'd never tell me, because you
know I'd be pissed.
So that's stuff she would do onher own.
I mean, she would do stuff likethat.
She still does stuff like that.
Okay, now it's just onlineinternet, but yeah, it's a lot
easier now.
Easier.
Well it's easy to trace too aswell in a way.
(26:27):
But still it's like, yeah, shecan just make a phone call and
just do all something like thatand that's it.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
They had a picture of .
I think they had a picture ofthe stuffed squirrel which did
win, as I recall.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That part's kind of weird, I don't know.
That's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I remember going oh, Bob, because I thought I thought
you know, this is radio, wedon't do that to each other, we
might get fired.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You don't, but she would do weird stuff like that
yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Well, there you go.
That's something I neverthought of, and to think, I
called her up and tried toapologize to her before I got
all the wrong, bad idea, badidea.
Well, you never returned thecalls.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
To give you an example when I first had cancer
and I wasn't married to heranymore and stuff, right.
So if I should do this, I haveno idea.
So I had to go through sometesting, okay, and one was going
to see a cardiologist and theywanted to do a stress test, and
so she wanted to know what wasgoing on.
So she sent over a fakey letterpretending to and you know what
(27:34):
they gave them to her and I was.
So I said you know what?
I can see the crap out of youright now if I wanted to really
up and down the wall.
But I got kind of sick rightnow and I got other things, but
you know, I got two years tothink about it and so I'm
leaning towards.
I'm not the litigious type, butI would really think of coming
(27:54):
after you guys for being sofreaking stupid.
You sent something, becausesomeone sent a fax or requesting
it, or fake doctor name and afake letterhead, and you didn't
even ask me about it.
I didn't even I had to sign arelease for you to do that and
you did.
You did it without mypermission and they're like,
holy shit, we fucked up and theyknew that.
They knew they were wrong, butjust give me an idea that these
(28:16):
are the type of things she woulddo.
So she is your guilty party.
Oh wow, now you can rest easy,knowing it was the psycho
ex-wife.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Well, I didn't think about her you didn't think about
that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You met her.
You saw what she was like.
Oh I know, yeah, she'svindictive and psycho and crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You know, Well, cool, that's good.
I mean no, I didn't actuallythink it would be him.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
You happy now, now that you know, you happy.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
No, no, well, I wasn't really that upset about
it.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
You must have been.
You brought it up today afterlike three decades, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
You're right.
Four decades, almost.
What year was that?
84?
, 85?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I'm in there, yep, yeah 85?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm in there.
Yep yeah.
So that means then it's ananniversary, isn't it?
What anniversary is it the?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
anniversary.
I'll just let you know becauseit's right around the time,
because that's when my daughterwas born Around that same period
.
It was right around Herbirthday, just so you know, was
yesterday.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Oh, really, and I didn't get another birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
All these anniversaries are probably right
in order, so you know.
Well, of course, your birthdayOne first to get hit in the pie
in the face.
Two make up sex, get pregnant.
And then three very hormonal.
Okay, stuff's where I'm goingto burn his ass.
Okay, it runs together.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
All these pieces are falling perfectly in the place.
Oh shit, oh wow.
All this, ladies and gentlemen,in November, way back in the
1980 or 5.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, I think it was 1985.
Indeed, yes, yes indeed.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Well, actually it was 86, because my daughter was
born in 1986.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Okay, it could have been 1985 or 1986.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
She might have been hormonally screwed up pregnant.
You hit a pregnant woman in theface with a pie.
I hope you feel better now.
Actually you should, but it'sokay, I know you said that to me
before it was supposed to befunny.
I said why don't you hit herwith something harder?
Look, here's a tire, iron,here's a manhole cover.
(30:27):
Grabbing up a candy cane around.
Here's a candy cane.
Excuse us for indulging in ouranniversaries, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I hadn't really thought about it until just now,
so you, know We've been througha lot, I mean those radio days.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I can't imagine people in radio have things like
this going, because it's justso different One.
The listenership is likenothing.
You know, you don't have allthe record guys and promotions,
it's all owned by bigconglomerate people.
I don't have all the recordguys and promotions, it's all
owned by big conglomerate people.
I don't know, I listen to it.
I don't hear anybody pushing abutton or being pushing the
envelope on radio, regular radio.
I just don't hear it.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Secondly, they don't make news.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
We made news for this stuff.
We did.
They're going so-and-so, did adumbass radio guy at this
station and did this, and thenthe police are involved or
whatever.
It's just.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It's just different well, that was easy, you're
sitting there.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
You're taking all these women off by being mr good
looking english guy with theperoxide colored mullet, you
know, and the fag hanging out ofyour mouth, oh yeah, yeah, yeah
, typical english guy.
They're, like you know, like adeathly punk rocker back then.
So oh yeah, but it was a reallygood-looking woman once who
showed up at the station.
We were having, I guess, aproduction meeting or something.
(31:43):
It was afterwards, it was latein the afternoon and she said I
want you to come to the carright now.
I said, for what she goes, Iwant to fuck you in the car.
I went, harvey Really prettywomen aren't used to just saying
that and being blunt, shereally pretty women aren't used
to just saying that.
Being blunt, she goes.
My job is you know my goal?
I want to screw everybody hereat the station.
I banged everyone but you.
I'm looking at the other guys.
(32:04):
I'm going true, and they'regoing guilty.
Everyone's going.
I'm clicking everybody off.
I'm going that's five guys.
I'm number six.
You're the last one.
Let's get in the car, let's getto it.
I'm going one.
If you bang all these guys, Iain't touching it, because these
guys, somebody here's gotsomething.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, it's a little of average, they're all
scratching and stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
They got these scabs showing.
I said no, I'm not touching itbecause of that.
I don't like using anyprotection at all.
So I didn't One.
I said two I just got marriedtwo weeks ago, you know, and I
said this is not a good way tostart the marriage.
Okay, and these guys do.
I trust them to keep theirmouth shut.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
They all know you know they'll be doing it on the
crowd they go.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Well, they didn't tell you, they're all being me.
I said, well, that's true, theykept that secret, but they're
probably hoping they'll bearound too.
She goes there's not gonna be.
I said, yeah, actually this guy, did you bang this guy?
She goes, yep.
I said, did you, steve, and yougo guilty.
And she wouldn't leave.
I mean she was, like you know,just started rubbing me all this
(33:05):
stuff.
I just write all these guys,I'm going.
You got to stop.
I can't believe you're turningthis down.
I said I can't believe I'mturning it down either, but just
the timing's bad, because oneSTD for one of these guys.
Get back to my honeymoon, jesusChrist, give me a month, come
back then.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Well, you know, on that fabulous note bombshell, it
is actually.
Next week we'll have morebombshells, won't we?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
This is how we start the holidays.
This is it.
This is it yes.
I'm afraid to even ask what.
Next week's anniversary of whatis you know so?
We're in the Christmas seasonbut we do all kinds of funky
memories.
We probably then we had a lotof radio station Christmas
parties.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's.
Well, I'm sure it's like thisstuffed squirrel, it's like God.
Where did that memory come?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
from.
Did we drink too much at thoseparties?
Yeah, did we talk any badthings at the party?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah, you know oh wasn't it, hey, wasn't it
Christmas time that we did thatthing to Chaz, which we'll
explain next week?
You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
We did a lot of things to Chaz right yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I did probably extra, but you know, yes, you did, let
me see.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
So yeah, that was which one are you talking about
the furniture movement thing?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
The what Moving your furniture.
Oh, that was in Christmas, butyes, Okay, that was in Christmas
, Okay, christmas.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
What the hell was going on at Christmas then?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Oh, you all went to that gay bar.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Oh yeah, memory comes back.
Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
It were good times.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Well, we've got to go here in a second, so let's try
and remember to do that nextweek.
We'll tell you exactly whathappened.
We won't get Chaz on the phonebecause he won't talk to either
of us.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I mean, after all, this time he will not talk to
you and he won't talk to me.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Nope what am I doing to this guy?
Geez, I thought maybe that'swhat I'm going to do next week.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Well, I think he was.
I'll just take a little hint.
I thought he was pissed becauseI always thought he was a good
guy, a talented guy.
If I moved to a differentstation, moving up the ladder,
not only as a morning guy butprogram director, I would always
bring him and a guy named TJ.
I always bring him along withme because we had some openings,
they were good and I like them.
So I'd bring him with some moodand flash.
On the last I got my big, big,big break.
(35:35):
I didn't bring any of them.
It's not because I didn't wantto.
There were just no openings andthe people there were pretty
good.
I'm not going to get rid ofsome, I just said you know
that's not fair to them.
And plus they fit in, they weregood, I liked them.
So I only had like one openingto be my partner in a morning
show.
But I needed a different typeperson based on what we're going
to do there.
I didn't bring PJ, who was coolwith it, but Chaz, I don't know.
(35:56):
He wound up going to an urbanbut weird white guy going to an
urban station in Charlotte.
I'm going, I can't be fittingin with that.
His morning show partner wasBlack Friday.
No, I'm just kidding.
The whole station Black andHouse is there for him.
I'm just going.
Wow, so good for him.
He was very happy there, sothat out good.
(36:18):
I still hate him.
He's taking my gut for somereason.
I don't know why.
As we squeal Just get ready Tokick off the holiday season,
we'll be playing some snippetsof some weird Christmas songs
next week.
How's that?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
That'll do it.
You think it's?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Santa squeal, is Santa squealing.
Give me the Grinch.
How about the happy feet?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Happy feet.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Happy dancing everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
All right, stop singing.
What was?
Speaker 1 (36:50):
that.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Big bastards dancing all over the place.
You know what?
You remind me of a chimpanzeein a zoo Sitting in his cage
Going oh fuck, don't rock theboat.
Don't rock the boat, baby.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I'm doing don't rock the boat, are you ready, sir?
Here we go, there we go.
Hey, hey, this is Chris.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
You haven't even eaten the turkey yet.
Hi Costello here, Poor Chris.
Yeah, we got to say Happy.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Thanksgiving, I know going gobble, gobble, gobble
gobble.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
I'm going to say gobble gobble, then Happy
Thanksgiving.
Oh well, post, I should havethought of that.
Let's see what we got here.
No, that's about it.
Today, the turkey just hit thefan.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I'm surprised you haven't taken it.
I mean, being British, this isfor you.
Don't give a shit all the days,it's just, it's all about an
eating day, so eating's good.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Well, maybe at your house.
I've got to get to Trader Joe'sbefore they close.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
This reminds me of three things.
Two are still active.
One I miss doing.
I used to do my terrestrialradio show.
One of course I always got towatch the Macy's Thanksgiving
Day Parade, don't care how young, how old you are, it's just
always fun to watch.
So I still watch it.
Hell, no, I'm kidding.
Second one is the WestminsterDog Show.
(01:21):
You know, man, I love itbecause having three dogs you
know this is true, you have to,you gotta get a watch.
I always hope my breed them go.
Why does my breed never win?
I got a bernese mountain dog, ablack russian terrier and the
the one they just entered totheir categories just two years
ago, a legato, which is anitalian truffle hunting dog
(01:42):
especially not in italy, and Ihad no truffles in my backyard.
He's pretty useless.
She just goes in the back andjust digs up a bunch of holes
looking for something.
You know I look at her.
She'll just spend hours lookinginto a hole and just digging.
I'm going, I keep going outthere.
We don't have any truffles.
I'm sorry, just give it up.
No truffles here.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
You should buy some and bury them under the tree and
give them to her.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
She finds mushrooms and she goes is this it Nope?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Really Not bad.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Good try.
And the third thing I don'tthink it's available anymore.
You may remember this.
I remember when Butterball hadthe Butterball hotline for
numbnuts like me at that timewho didn't know how to do a
turkey or didn't know how totake the gut bag out and stuff.
I didn't cook a turkey one yearwith the gut bag in there.
(02:31):
I go what's that smell?
Crap the bag's over there.
I said, did you put stuffing init?
Well, it looked like it alreadyhad stuffing in it.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
But man, I don't think it's wrong.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
But I used to call and harass that hotline all the
time.
They try to be nice andstraight.
I just put them on live andjust dial them up.
How can I help you?
I go do I need to spank theturkey before I stuff it?
And they'd go oh no, sir, youdon't have to beat the meat on
this one to get it nice andtender.
(03:00):
So I'd go through telling me Ican't beat my meat and they'd
start to go.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Well, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
You know you draw me into something.
Yeah, it was just they'd hangup.
I called back yet anotheroperator and so I asked the
other questions and stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
It'd be great, probably, really enjoyed it
after they figured out what wasgoing on, and at this point we
should probably mention thatthis is probably exactly what
Chris would be doing had he notdecided to play with us here at
the cancelled radio guys.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
We've decided to call ourselves that because well,
are you saying I'd be beating mymeat or spanking the turkey?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Or both.
You'd probably be beating yourmeat while you spank your turkey
.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I don't know, does it sound better?
It's cool seeing spanky.
Let's try and spank the turkey.
You have to make it seasonal, Iguess.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yes, indeed, it's something about dolphins I can't
remember.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I just miss the.
I do miss that butterballhotline.
They try to be so straight andthey don't want to offend
anybody.
They don't want to fall intowhatever you're asking.
You just torture them and gocrazy.
Thanksgiving is a kind of weirdtime of year anyway.
How is that You're supposed tobe giving thanks?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I'm just saying it is .
We're in the midst of winter.
We're about to get intoChristmas.
We've in the midst of winter.
We're about to get intoChristmas.
Well, we've been into Christmassince July the 5th.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Since the end of Halloween, but officially.
But hey, I mean also, it's likethe thing about Thanksgiving,
of course, is Black Friday.
It always used to be.
Black Friday was one day, theday after Thanksgiving, of
course.
The weekend they'd open itafter Thanksgiving.
People would sleep out there,wait for the stores to open at 6
am to get all these super deals, and that was part of it.
(04:50):
You had to go out there andwait in the cold and wait in
line and the rush of people.
I was kind of like the fun ofit, you know.
But now Black Friday has beengoing on all friggin' month.
Every TV show you look at, atthe end of the show they're
going let's go to our own superdeals, let's log into this and
get these deals.
They're always selling a bunchof shit that I don't need.
What a great deal.
(05:11):
I'm just going.
I don't need the orange peelerand juice maker and sick of
straw and all in one thing I'mgoing.
I don't need that Stuff likethat A lot of skin care, a Stuff
like that A lot of skin care, alot of lotion, a lot of
freaking suitcases, you know.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Oh, always suitcases.
Let me just show you somethingthat is probably in your
suitcase all the way from Vegas.
I can see the Grinch, butnobody else can.
You need to bring him on there.
You go there, he is Okay.
Now bring him and put him righthere.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Just kidding.
Siegel, if I had room here,he'd be.
Like he's a little bit active,he can't be.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
That's really not crap.
You have to put him on theother side there if you want him
in the shot.
If you can't hear that, Watchto see his feet.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
If I had him on the table, he'd be dancing all over.
Hear that Watch his feet.
If I had him on the table, he'dbe dancing all over the table.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh wonderful, I'm sorry to completely blow the
whole thing we were talkingabout, but I'm looking at this
guy.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Happy feet, man, happy feet, oh you got to get
seasonal man.
You got to get seasonal.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yes, you do get seasonal.
Man, you've got to get seasonal.
Yes, you do, yes, yes, and Ithink perhaps, maybe next week
we'll do our season, talkingabout seasonal, do our seasonal
Christmas music.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I was going to kind of mention that today we can
actually get into it, becauseonce Thanksgiving starts and
it's kind of a late day forThanksgiving this year, I mean,
it's kind of a short Christmasseason, I guess, which I think
is one of the reasons theystarted early, of course they
always do.
I used to always kick off myThanksgiving by calling the
Butterball Hotline, so that'sjust taken away.
Then I go Black Friday and gooh, black Friday is every day,
(07:00):
it's all over the.
You can buy online now too.
But the other thing is our newtradition, which is the chris
and costello, our list offavorite christmas songs.
Yes, so I was thinking aboutthat.
Today I'm going.
And which one did you pick lastyear, do you remember?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
the one I picked.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Oh yeah, I don't remember as far back as like two
days ago, but if you canremember, like your last
christmas did you think I want ahippopotamus for christ?
Did you pick I Want aHippopotamus for Christmas, did
you?
Speaker 1 (07:26):
pick that one.
That was the one you hated.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I do hate that and we're not playing it this year.
We're not going to play it thisyear.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
We're not huh.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Well, listen, it drives me nuts, especially the
original one.
I Want a Hippopotamus.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
What a stupid-ass song.
It's a great song.
I even made a promo out of ittoo.
Yeah, you did, Yep.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
We should talk to someone who sings that song.
Let them wake up Christmasmorning and have a damn baby
hippopotamus in their house.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Well, very lucky for you, I can't find it right this
second I can tell you I likesome of the newer ones.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
It was about two or three years ago.
Gwen Stefani put out aChristmas CD.
I thought, oh well, she sings afew of the standards, but she
wrote a bunch of new songs,actually pretty damn good.
Last year I liked that new CherChristmas CD Last year's Cher
Christmas CD.
It came out a year ago and sheeven sang it at the Macy's
Parade Last year.
(08:28):
It made the debut of the singleand it really sounds like that
song you know you believe inthem After all it kind of sounds
that, with the synthetic voiceas well, and it's just classic
Sierra, it just sounds good.
She's making the rounds Talkshows and interviews again
Podcasts, except for this one,you know, talking, it just
sounds good.
And she's making the rounds oftalk shows and interviews again
(08:48):
podcasts except for this one,you know talking, you know,
because she's going to resell,get the sales up again for a
Christmas CD.
So she's 78 years old now andshe dates a guy who's 40 years
younger than she is.
That's not me.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
You're not 40 years younger than she is.
I'm trying to emulate Startsinging.
I'm trying to emulate Startsinging.
Come on, I'm going to emulateCher Sing.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Sing it, bud Sing it Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Come on sing it.
What were the words?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I'm going to emulate.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Cher.
I'm going to emulate, cher.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You sound like a frigging munchkin.
Well, I know so does she.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
She's like a freaking munchkin.
Well, I know, so does she.
She's got this in the Christmaself.
Hang on, let me voice change.
I'm a Christmas elf.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I've reached puberty.
She's got a good voice to gowith it, so when she does that
synthesizing, it sounds reallygood.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Here's why Now it'll sound a lot different.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Did you ever listen to that CD last year?
Your Christmas CD, cher?
It's really good.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
No, why, why would I?
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Also, we've got to keep promoting Cher.
Another reason why she's outthere talking get the sales of
the Christmas CD again.
But she's released her memoir.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
It's called Cher, part one.
Yes, her memoir is called share, part one.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yes, part one.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
I liked what she said about that.
She said you know what?
I've taken the money.
I guess I better write thebloody book.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Well, she's 78.
She better write part two.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
Yeah, you know she's not buying any green bananas
right now, so you know this partwas good.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
It's kind of like a teasing in a way.
So she goes, you know, talkingabout all the.
She had a couple of husbandsand then all the you know young
guys and guys that she dated,which is a lot, you know.
And they go well, you knowthey're dating and they're
hanging out with Cher.
So I am Cher.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
So they expect a great, expect great sex, and you
know what they get it.
I went and she's 70-something.
That's great, that's great.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
It's called Cher.
I like it.
That's some great sex for metoo.
I'll be like that Cher.
It's just Cher being Cher.
I just think she's great.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Good sense of humor.
Good sense of humor.
She would work very well hereat the Canceled Radio Guys show.
She would be good.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
She'd be great.
So, cher, if you're listeningor if you have management people
listening or any fans of yourslistening, everyone contact Cher
and tell her she needs to comeon the Kristen Costello Canceled
Guys show.
We would have fun.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
We even have an Englishman on the show.
We don't bring him out veryoften.
This is true.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
She likes England.
One show she did.
I don't like to mention it toooften.
It's not the Rogan thing, sheain't that dumb, but she did do,
for whatever reason.
The Howard Stern thing here youhave an icon like Sharon DeSho,
so you want to have some fun.
I mean, you want those and youknow that she'd be the type to
bring it right back to you.
(11:52):
Oh, slap you in the face andtickle you.
Yes, to go into the thing I'm MrGreat Interviewer now because
I'm old and I don't have funlike I used to, so I'm going to
be known as a great intervieweryou know she's talking about.
So you had your first single Igot you, babe, and just rocking
up the charts and just you justcame so famous.
I mean, how do you do that?
I'm just going what a dumb assboring question.
(12:14):
It is a stupid question,something I didn't know.
She said that when her song, uh, that I got you knocked the
beatles off the charts they werenumber one and then kicked him
out and she took over number one.
I didn't know that.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
I didn't know that either.
That's a little bit of triviathat you know things to know and
yell.
That's exactly what that is.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
So are you going to read the book Costello Cher's
memoir.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
If and when it comes out.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
part two oh, I know You'll buy the audio book.
Oh, part two.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Oh, I know You'll buy the audio book oh, that's a
good idea.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Read what's that?
I'll listen to it.
I'll do my headphones, becauseI was wearing his headphones.
Yeah Well, I do because youwon't look like a radio
professional.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Well, if I turn it up too loud with the speakers,
it'll feed back.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
You don't hear my speakers feeding back now, do
you?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
That's true, we don't you know why?
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Because I'm an ex-radio professional, you're
pro-professional.
A professional.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Pick up too fast.
Pick up too fast, as youremember, we used to do radio
Broadcast, radio Costello.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
You remember we both had to have what Like a third
class.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Oh, third class.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, license.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
That's an easy little third class thing.
What did moi have?
I had a first class radioengineering license.
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Thank you very much.
Yeah, you and Noel.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
You know why they did it?
Because they did it because ithelped me at the beginning get
jobs and other people couldn'tget jobs.
When the night shifts are going, something happens, you can fix
it because you get a firstclass license.
I'm going to kick the damntransmitter.
Let's go kick it.
It comes back on.
Turn it off and turn it back on.
That's it.
I could do some minor internalwork, but I like to just kick it
(14:00):
or turn it on.
Turn it off like you do yourcell phone now, and if it came
back on, great.
If it didn't, I just call thereal engineer and just sign off
and go home that's exactly right.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, I used to call.
Was it Noel who was ourengineer?
He was an interesting guy.
Oh, I'm a great man.
Oh yeah, I used to call himEngineer Bob.
Of course I did that to hisface and he'd always be walking
in on my shift, always becausebloody TIP would be going off
half the time and shit wouldhappen.
And I was Engineer Bob he.
(14:33):
During his time in Vietnambecause we're going back a few
years now he had his PT patrolboat blown up from underneath
him.
It was plunged into the water.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
That explains a lot.
That explains the strapping onthe head and the slow response.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Quite possibly he only retired, like last year, I
think he just kept going.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Wow, he's up there.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
He was up there, yeah .
Speaker 2 (14:58):
He's older than Cher is, I'm sure, jeez.
Well, you know my favoriteengineer even though Bob was
good, his name was John Heimer.
I always said if we had troublewith the transmitter, he's
gonna give it to him, but hewould do everything I asked for
I'd go.
You know what I said can youmake us louder on the dial so
they push into our station allof a sudden?
We jump out louder?
(15:19):
He did that, you know.
I said can you get more bass tomy mic and make our mic just
make my mic, our mic soundbetter, more deep and basic?
Anything I requested, anythingI requested he could do.
Excellent, but he really tookpride in his work.
It was about one morning wewere having some issues.
There was a lot of statickygoing on on the board, things
were dropping.
It just sounded like shit.
So you know me, I'm making funof him.
(15:41):
I'm going waiting on JohnHeimel maneuvering here and
fixing the transmitter Sure asslow today, hope we can do it.
And he was listening to me justgiving a crap as he was driving
in.
He was so worked up when he gotin.
He walks in the studio andstarted choking me Live on the
air.
I'm going oh, john Hyatt movie.
I said no, no, no.
(16:02):
Other people on the show wereshocked and going holy crap,
he's choking the crap out of me.
And he just absolutely lost it.
And he walked out, went back tothe transfer room, fixed it and
just got in his car and left.
And he came back the next dayand apologized.
I said no man, it was prettydamn funny.
I said.
But I really liked him, Irespect him, he was really great
.
But I'd never been choked livein the air by the frigging
(16:23):
engineer before.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was just thinking about another engineer I had,
which actually he was inColorado, roger Teague, I think
his name was, I remembercorrectly.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
But, the interesting thing about him was that he was
on the original recording of ICall the Law and the Law I.
He was part of that.
Yeah, he was a bass player, Ithink, oh, bass player, I think,
oh, bass player.
But then they had a big, areally famous recording studio.
It's open here, like uh, northof denver, a little bit in the
mountains there, rolling stoneswere there, beetles were there.
I mean, you saw, just just amillion people went there and
did music and recorded stuff.
You know, neil young did hisbest album oh, wait a minute,
(17:04):
and he also.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
He also, he came from Houston.
Hold that against him.
Well, freely.
Sorry, houston people.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
That's Beyonce territory.
Beyonce territory, houston,aren't you?
Speaker 1 (17:22):
But anyway he went to school with Janice Joplin.
She was from Houston, he was inher class.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
So he drove her to drink and just go shopping.
That's right.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
He was the holding company he was.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
You'll just have to look that up every time.
Every time he plays music, hemakes the dogs bark.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
That's probably the mailman at this time, Anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
So Having John Heimel , my engineer, choke me.
I hope John's still around.
I'd like for you to hear this,John.
He laughs now.
I hope John's still around.
I'd like for you to hear this,john, he laughs now and I do,
but my throat's never been thesame.
Let's get it.
It was like the beginning ofbeing choked.
Remember that original TVseries, night Court?
Do you remember watching that?
Yes, I do Remember the tall guywith the shaved head, right?
Yes, I forget what hischaracter's.
(18:04):
Yes, what's his name?
I don't remember his name.
Oh, bull, right, was it Bull?
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Yeah, big, tall guy.
He was like the bailiff orwhatever, and I forget what his
name was, but he was a reallytall dude.
He was having to be in towndoing something over the weekend
so I had him come in on Fridayand he was late.
So I guess he had to get a feelof what show he's coming on and
just kind of see what what wewere like.
He was listening to me and I'mgiving him shit because he's
(18:31):
late.
You know, as I get theseattitudes, I'm an actor in a big
show, I don't have to be ontime.
I have to come late, make anappearance.
You know, and he's listening tome do this.
And he comes, he bursts in thestudio and since I had the
commercial, he's going.
God damn it.
And you know there's traffic.
Is that my fault and I'm late?
So I'm not that way.
(18:52):
You make people think I'm thatway.
Now you're giving the wrongimpression of who I am.
He's like in my face.
He's like 6 20, I'm going.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
He's gonna kill me on the show.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I mean just just don't choke me, okay.
So it's, it's beginning becauseyou have a whole like a domino
effect.
You know, once you start peoplecoming in wanting to hit you
and choke you, it just doesn'tstop.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
It's funny, you have all these marvelous memories
that we're spitting up.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Well, these are reasons why we're canceled radio
, guys, because of stuff likethis.
Well, of course I got sued.
We got complaints a lot, butyou know what?
We have massive ratings.
That's the whole point.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
A lot of fun too.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Yes, One time during my birthday and we were doing a
show on my birthday, okay.
so I guess the other staffthought it would be great if we
could have some dancer strippercome in and dance.
I'm going and she's doing herthing, dancing.
I'm thinking to myself.
I'm going.
You know, we're radio guys, noone can see her doing this, and
(19:53):
she's.
We're live on the show.
You want me to describe whatshe's doing?
Okay, she's grinding my leftleg right now.
Now she's pressing her breastsup against my chin.
That's why, you know, I justI'll just describe it.
And then, as she was leaving,I'm going.
Well, she's a pretty girl, butyou know she wasn't really all
that good.
You know, she didn't have muchin the rhythm department and she
(20:15):
could have been a little bitmore sexy and stuff.
Well, guess what?
She comes tearing back down thehall these days, why do we have
people with security around thestudio?
I have no idea, but it's like,oh, go on back there and beat
the shit out of them.
So she comes in and goes andshe was crying.
I went holy crap, she goes.
You asshole.
I was here trying to dosomething special for your
birthday and slapped me rightacross the face and then walked
(20:36):
out.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Well, that's two slaps around the face that I
know that you've had.
I'm sure there's plenty more.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, and I just you know, I kind of felt bad for her
.
I said, look, this is showbiz,baby, we're just having fun and
you have to learn to go with theflow.
This is not a personal thingagainst you.
And she was like shaking andshe was red.
I'm going, good God.
I pushed the cycle button onher.
You know I was thinking knife,knife, knife.
(21:03):
How many things didn't happento you, Costello.
I mean, why did you say Ididn't?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
happen to you, costello?
I didn't have anybody come upand go play Misty for me.
Actually.
No, think back.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Great movie play Misty for me by the way Clean
this wood, find this wood.
Speaker 1 (21:17):
Good movie oh okay, well, think back to our WVSR
days, and I got every four of mynew tires slashed.
Remember that?
Who did that?
Uh, I think it was just.
Uh, this woman who, um, I guessI went out on a date with her
or something, and it really wasjust just that come over to my
(21:39):
house and I'll make you dinner.
It's like, well, if you tell meI'm coming around to your house
, we're going to make dinner.
That's what's going to happenokay, what was she?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
the dinner is that it ?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
well, I think she wanted to be the dinner.
I just started dating thisother woman who I unfortunately
married, but anyway.
So, um, being the nice guy I am, I thought, well, I better not
now.
So I guess she was kind ofpissed off at me after that and
I have a feeling, and I'll bringsomething up here that I don't
know if you know that I know,but we'll see.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Uh why would she be pissed?
Because, because you went toher house.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Because I wouldn't screw her, because I wouldn't.
You know, here's my bed, great,lovely bed, see you.
But so later on, when I went upto Pittsburgh we're in the
middle of Pittsburgh this womancomes running up going hey
Costello, how are you?
I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here.
Hey, costello, how are you?
(22:29):
I heard you were moving up here, so I moved up here too.
I go meet my wife.
She also was probably, I mean,she was definitely stalking me
all the way to Pittsburgh, forChrist's sake.
But this is something I'm goingto put you really on the spot
here and you can deny if youlike.
But at the time that we partedcompany, somebody either called
(22:54):
the local newspaper and saidwell, he was fired because he
was helping somebody cheat onour million-dollar prize thing.
That's something to do with astuffed squirrel, that's about
all I can remember.
That never happens, by the way,so I don't know whether that
was her.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
What the hell are you doing with a stuffed squirrel?
I?
Speaker 1 (23:11):
mean geez, it's more fun to make a life turkey than
it is to make a stuffed squirrel.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
So what?
Speaker 1 (23:15):
are you doing?
I can't remember what thecompetition was, but oh, I know
You're going to give.
Well, the station was givinglike $1,000 worth of lottery
tickets.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I said well, oh, right Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
If you remember that.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Here's some scratch tickets.
Here you go.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
I mean you're right, it's a good idea actually.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
That means you'll win , even because those lottery
tickets happen once in a while,but at least they get excited.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
But apparently this woman had come up and complained
that she hadn't won and I hadtold her that she would win and
to do?
I can't remember what exactlyit was.
It wasn't any sexual favors oranything like that.
Sure, no, I didn't need that, Ihad that covered.
I was happily, happily, beingscrewed.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
As we're folks listening.
You're figuring out.
It's Chris and Castillo makingnew friends wherever we go.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
Yes, we are.
And Chris is going.
Oh shit, he knows about that.
Fuck.
Never mentioned it.
In the last three, four yearswe've been talking.
I remember paying my soon-to-bewife.
Let me see what they've writtenabout you in the paper.
I go, no.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Why?
Where did that come from in thepaper?
Who did?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
it.
I don't know.
I couldn't find out, I don'tknow.
I don't know whether the sourcewas the station.
I think it was because somebodywas quoted.
Might have been Doug, couldhave been you, could have been
Chad, I'm not that way.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Once you're gone, you've got a new thing going on.
I wouldn't do that, but sosomeone for a joke may have done
it.
It wasn't me, so I can clearthat up right now for you.
So if it was.
I'd tell you, it's been a longtime I wouldn't mind telling you
, but it wasn't me so I don't dothat.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
I'll tell you what it's an anniversary which number
in the face.
So I'm just telling you, Bailey.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Around Thanksgiving, or something that happened.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
It was.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Thanksgiving.
I thought it was.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yeah, fire me, would you?
Just because I abused your wifeI?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
tell you who would do something like that.
Okay, it wasn't me, but I tellyou who would do something like
that.
A very vindictive person thatwould have been the ex-wife.
She would do something likethat in a very vindictive person
that would have been theex-wife.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
She would do something like that in a
frigging heartbeat, oh really,oh, hell yeah.
Didn't think of that oh gosh.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
I mean, I'll tell you why.
Because she's still doing stufflike that.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Still.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Jeez, still does you do something, you're headed the
wrong way.
She will not let up on you.
Always hold a grudge, neverforget.
If she has a chance to dosomething, burn you or call a
newspaper or whatever.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Yep, that's exactly something she would do.
Well, I didn't even think ofthat.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
I would apologize for her, but I don't have any
reason.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
We don't know that she did, but this is good.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Oh, if I'm a betting man which I am I would put money
on that.
She wins, she's it.
Well, the bad news for her wasShe'd never tell me, because you
know I'd be pissed.
So that's stuff she would do onher own.
I mean, she would do stuff likethat.
She still does stuff like that.
Okay, now it's just onlineinternet, but yeah, it's a lot
easier now.
Easier.
Well it's easy to trace too aswell in a way.
(26:27):
But still it's like, yeah, shecan just make a phone call and
just do all something like thatand that's it.
Speaker 1 (26:34):
They had a picture of .
I think they had a picture ofthe stuffed squirrel which did
win, as I recall.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That part's kind of weird, I don't know.
That's kind of funny.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
I remember going oh, Bob, because I thought I thought
you know, this is radio, wedon't do that to each other, we
might get fired.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You don't, but she would do weird stuff like that
yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
Well, there you go.
That's something I neverthought of, and to think, I
called her up and tried toapologize to her before I got
all the wrong, bad idea, badidea.
Well, you never returned thecalls.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
To give you an example when I first had cancer
and I wasn't married to heranymore and stuff, right.
So if I should do this, I haveno idea.
So I had to go through sometesting, okay, and one was going
to see a cardiologist and theywanted to do a stress test, and
so she wanted to know what wasgoing on.
So she sent over a fakey letterpretending to and you know what
(27:34):
they gave them to her and I was.
So I said you know what?
I can see the crap out of youright now if I wanted to really
up and down the wall.
But I got kind of sick rightnow and I got other things, but
you know, I got two years tothink about it and so I'm
leaning towards.
I'm not the litigious type, butI would really think of coming
(27:54):
after you guys for being sofreaking stupid.
You sent something, becausesomeone sent a fax or requesting
it, or fake doctor name and afake letterhead, and you didn't
even ask me about it.
I didn't even I had to sign arelease for you to do that and
you did.
You did it without mypermission and they're like,
holy shit, we fucked up and theyknew that.
They knew they were wrong, butjust give me an idea that these
(28:16):
are the type of things she woulddo.
So she is your guilty party.
Oh wow, now you can rest easy,knowing it was the psycho
ex-wife.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Well, I didn't think about her you didn't think about
that.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
You met her.
You saw what she was like.
Oh I know, yeah, she'svindictive and psycho and crazy.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
You know, Well, cool, that's good.
I mean no, I didn't actuallythink it would be him.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
You happy now, now that you know, you happy.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
No, no, well, I wasn't really that upset about
it.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
You must have been.
You brought it up today afterlike three decades, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
You're right.
Four decades, almost.
What year was that?
84?
, 85?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I'm in there, yep, yeah 85?
Speaker 1 (28:59):
I'm in there.
Yep yeah.
So that means then it's ananniversary, isn't it?
What anniversary is it the?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
anniversary.
I'll just let you know becauseit's right around the time,
because that's when my daughterwas born Around that same period
.
It was right around Herbirthday, just so you know, was
yesterday.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
Oh, really, and I didn't get another birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
All these anniversaries are probably right
in order, so you know.
Well, of course, your birthdayOne first to get hit in the pie
in the face.
Two make up sex, get pregnant.
And then three very hormonal.
Okay, stuff's where I'm goingto burn his ass.
Okay, it runs together.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
All these pieces are falling perfectly in the place.
Oh shit, oh wow.
All this, ladies and gentlemen,in November, way back in the
1980 or 5.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Yeah, I think it was 1985.
Indeed, yes, yes indeed.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Well, actually it was 86, because my daughter was
born in 1986.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Okay, it could have been 1985 or 1986.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
She might have been hormonally screwed up pregnant.
You hit a pregnant woman in theface with a pie.
I hope you feel better now.
Actually you should, but it'sokay, I know you said that to me
before it was supposed to befunny.
I said why don't you hit herwith something harder?
Look, here's a tire, iron,here's a manhole cover.
(30:27):
Grabbing up a candy cane around.
Here's a candy cane.
Excuse us for indulging in ouranniversaries, okay.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I hadn't really thought about it until just now,
so you, know We've been througha lot, I mean those radio days.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
I can't imagine people in radio have things like
this going, because it's justso different One.
The listenership is likenothing.
You know, you don't have allthe record guys and promotions,
it's all owned by bigconglomerate people.
I don't have all the recordguys and promotions, it's all
owned by big conglomerate people.
I don't know, I listen to it.
I don't hear anybody pushing abutton or being pushing the
envelope on radio, regular radio.
I just don't hear it.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Secondly, they don't make news.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
We made news for this stuff.
We did.
They're going so-and-so, did adumbass radio guy at this
station and did this, and thenthe police are involved or
whatever.
It's just.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
It's just different well, that was easy, you're
sitting there.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
You're taking all these women off by being mr good
looking english guy with theperoxide colored mullet, you
know, and the fag hanging out ofyour mouth, oh yeah, yeah, yeah
, typical english guy.
They're, like you know, like adeathly punk rocker back then.
So oh yeah, but it was a reallygood-looking woman once who
showed up at the station.
We were having, I guess, aproduction meeting or something.
(31:43):
It was afterwards, it was latein the afternoon and she said I
want you to come to the carright now.
I said, for what she goes, Iwant to fuck you in the car.
I went, harvey Really prettywomen aren't used to just saying
that and being blunt, shereally pretty women aren't used
to just saying that.
Being blunt, she goes.
My job is you know my goal?
I want to screw everybody hereat the station.
I banged everyone but you.
I'm looking at the other guys.
(32:04):
I'm going true, and they'regoing guilty.
Everyone's going.
I'm clicking everybody off.
I'm going that's five guys.
I'm number six.
You're the last one.
Let's get in the car, let's getto it.
I'm going one.
If you bang all these guys, Iain't touching it, because these
guys, somebody here's gotsomething.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Yeah, it's a little of average, they're all
scratching and stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
They got these scabs showing.
I said no, I'm not touching itbecause of that.
I don't like using anyprotection at all.
So I didn't One.
I said two I just got marriedtwo weeks ago, you know, and I
said this is not a good way tostart the marriage.
Okay, and these guys do.
I trust them to keep theirmouth shut.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
They all know you know they'll be doing it on the
crowd they go.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Well, they didn't tell you, they're all being me.
I said, well, that's true, theykept that secret, but they're
probably hoping they'll bearound too.
She goes there's not gonna be.
I said, yeah, actually this guy, did you bang this guy?
She goes, yep.
I said, did you, steve, and yougo guilty.
And she wouldn't leave.
I mean she was, like you know,just started rubbing me all this
(33:05):
stuff.
I just write all these guys,I'm going.
You got to stop.
I can't believe you're turningthis down.
I said I can't believe I'mturning it down either, but just
the timing's bad, because oneSTD for one of these guys.
Get back to my honeymoon, jesusChrist, give me a month, come
back then.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Well, you know, on that fabulous note bombshell, it
is actually.
Next week we'll have morebombshells, won't we?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
This is how we start the holidays.
This is it.
This is it yes.
I'm afraid to even ask what.
Next week's anniversary of whatis you know so?
We're in the Christmas seasonbut we do all kinds of funky
memories.
We probably then we had a lotof radio station Christmas
parties.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure there's.
Well, I'm sure it's like thisstuffed squirrel, it's like God.
Where did that memory come?
Speaker 2 (33:55):
from.
Did we drink too much at thoseparties?
Yeah, did we talk any badthings at the party?
Speaker 1 (33:59):
Yeah, you know oh wasn't it, hey, wasn't it
Christmas time that we did thatthing to Chaz, which we'll
explain next week?
You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
We did a lot of things to Chaz right yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
I did probably extra, but you know, yes, you did, let
me see.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
So yeah, that was which one are you talking about
the furniture movement thing?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
The what Moving your furniture.
Oh, that was in Christmas, butyes, Okay, that was in Christmas
, Okay, christmas.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
What the hell was going on at Christmas then?
Speaker 1 (34:34):
Oh, you all went to that gay bar.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Oh yeah, memory comes back.
Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
It were good times.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Flashback flashback flashback.
Speaker 1 (34:49):
Well, we've got to go here in a second, so let's try
and remember to do that nextweek.
We'll tell you exactly whathappened.
We won't get Chaz on the phonebecause he won't talk to either
of us.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I mean, after all, this time he will not talk to
you and he won't talk to me.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Nope what am I doing to this guy?
Geez, I thought maybe that'swhat I'm going to do next week.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Well, I think he was.
I'll just take a little hint.
I thought he was pissed becauseI always thought he was a good
guy, a talented guy.
If I moved to a differentstation, moving up the ladder,
not only as a morning guy butprogram director, I would always
bring him and a guy named TJ.
I always bring him along withme because we had some openings,
they were good and I like them.
So I'd bring him with some moodand flash.
On the last I got my big, big,big break.
(35:35):
I didn't bring any of them.
It's not because I didn't wantto.
There were just no openings andthe people there were pretty
good.
I'm not going to get rid ofsome, I just said you know
that's not fair to them.
And plus they fit in, they weregood, I liked them.
So I only had like one openingto be my partner in a morning
show.
But I needed a different typeperson based on what we're going
to do there.
I didn't bring PJ, who was coolwith it, but Chaz, I don't know.
(35:56):
He wound up going to an urbanbut weird white guy going to an
urban station in Charlotte.
I'm going, I can't be fittingin with that.
His morning show partner wasBlack Friday.
No, I'm just kidding.
The whole station Black andHouse is there for him.
I'm just going.
Wow, so good for him.
He was very happy there, sothat out good.
(36:18):
I still hate him.
He's taking my gut for somereason.
I don't know why.
As we squeal Just get ready Tokick off the holiday season,
we'll be playing some snippetsof some weird Christmas songs
next week.
How's that?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
That'll do it.
You think it's?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Santa squeal, is Santa squealing.
Give me the Grinch.
How about the happy feet?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Happy feet.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Happy dancing everybody.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
Goodbye.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
All right, stop singing.
What was?
Speaker 1 (36:50):
that.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Big bastards dancing all over the place.
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