July 3, 2025 • 25 mins
Freedom isn't just a concept we celebrate on July 4th—it's something we can experience in our relationship with alcohol too. If you've found yourself drinking more than intended at social gatherings or automatically reaching for that glass of wine after a long day, this episode offers a practical pathway to greater independence.
What if this Independence Day became your personal liberation celebration? I'm sharing a complete freedom plan that helps you approach holiday gatherings with intention instead of anxiety. This isn't about deprivation—it's about choosing peace, presence, and clarity on your own terms.
We walk through seven practical steps that make all the difference. Each step builds your confidence and reconnects you with your authentic self.
The most transformative insight? You're not missing out by drinking less—you're gaining something profoundly more valuable.
Whether you're curious about moderation, taking a break from alcohol, or seeking resources for a sober-curious friend, this episode provides gentle, practical guidance rooted in faith and neurological understanding. Every small step you take is building new patterns that lead to greater freedom. We're walking this journey together, one joyful, sometimes awkward, totally Holy Spirit-led step at a time.
Check out my latest YouTube video: Quit Explaining Your No" - 5 Secrets High-Achieving Midlife Catholic Women Use to Refuse Drinks https://youtu.be/LcTuAupJup0?si=Bvvogl3WzspVUjXu
Also, Here's the freebie I mentioned in this episode!
50 Ways to Creatively Decline a Drink: https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/50-ways-to-decline-a-drink
Save it, print it, keep it in your back pocket for any social situation. You've got this!
If you have ever...
- Struggled with the social pressures associated with alcohol use.
- Felt isolated, alone, and unsure of how to break the cycle.
- Experienced shame and frustration after drinking.
- Told yourself, “I’ll never get this. It’s no use.”
Then this 5-Day Sacred Sobriety Kick Start is for you!
Each day, you’ll receive a short video with simple tasks to help you analyze your drinking habits with clarity.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
Please subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!
☀️ 62-Day Sober-ish Summer Challenge for Catholic Women:
https://courses.drinklessornotatall.com/courses/soberishsummer62
👉🏻 JOIN THE FREE 5-DAY KICK START
https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/5-day-sobriety-kick-start
👉🏻 Join The Sacred Sobriety Lab
https://sacredsobrietylab.com
Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here.
Hey there, beautiful friend.
Happy almost 4th of July.
Okay, let's talk about it,because I know that you are here
for a reason and maybe you'renoticing that your drinking has
become that.
(00:48):
Your drinking has become, oh,let's just say, a little more
than you'd like it to be lately.
Maybe you're drinking a littlebit more often, or when you do
drink, you drink a little morethan you wish that you would.
Maybe what used to be one ortwo glasses on a special
occasion is now almost everyevening, or maybe it's just
become this like automatic thing.
You don't even think about ituntil you look at the bottle and
(01:13):
realize it's almost gone, andthen you're left wondering why
do I feel so disconnected frommyself?
Again, I've had a lot of womenexplain to me that the more
alcohol takes up room in theirlives, the smaller their world
(01:34):
gets.
And if you are feeling likethat, listen, I get it, because
I've been there and that'sexactly why I create the
programs that I create.
Like right now.
I have my Sober Summer Resetgoing right now.
You can actually still sign upthrough July 6th, but after that
(01:55):
I'm closing it, just for justyou know, to keep the privacy
and things shared.
In there People are buildingtrust.
It's been a really wonderfuland active group, so you have
just a few more days.
If you want to pop in there,I'll have the link in my show
notes or you can go to mywebsite, the Catholic Sobriety
(02:17):
Coach.
I almost said Catholic SobrietyPodcast, but you go to
thecatholicsobrietycoachcom andI have a banner there.
Again, I will be closing thedoors on that 62-day challenge
on July 6th.
Anyway, let's just get intotoday.
We are going to talk aboutmaking a plan so that you're not
(02:41):
just white knuckling your waythrough the 4th of July.
This, appropriately, is afreedom plan, because we're
celebrating Independence Day.
Now, I know we're celebratingAmerica's Independence Day, but
it could be your IndependenceDay too.
Let's create a plan thatactually feels good, so will
(03:04):
feel peaceful, grounded andspirit-led.
If you're wondering, how do Iget through the fourth of july
without drinking more than Iwant to or without drinking at
all.
Ladies, this episode is for you.
The first thing that I wouldencourage you to do is to set a
prayerful intention before yougo to that barbecue or beach day
(03:25):
or your cousin Deb's red wineand boozy blowout you know the
one.
Take five minutes to ask theHoly Spirit for clarity.
You can say something like Lord, what will freedom look like
for me today?
And then just stop and listen.
You can use whatever you hearas personal reflection.
(03:50):
Or my favorite thing is tojournal just really quick,
nothing fancy, and think aboutwhat you're hearing and then in
your journal or personalreflection, think about this.
And we talk about this a lot inmy sacred sobriety lab in the
renewal of the mind module.
But we change.
(04:12):
We think about what we want ourresults to be.
That helps with planning.
So in the beginning, before weeven go to the barbecue or
whatever, we are going to think,journal and pray about what do
I want to feel when I go to bedthat night?
Do I want to feel proud,peaceful, present with my kids,
(04:36):
like I was present with thepeople there, and just write all
that down?
Do you want to just feel likeyou have a good amount of energy
when you wake up and not feelgroggy and cloudy headed in the
morning.
And then the third thing I'dlike you to do, as you're
setting a prayerful intention,is to then grab a scripture
(04:57):
verse to anchor you and I knowI've talked about this before on
the podcast and I talk aboutthis in my programs is to speak
declarations over yourself.
So that is speaking God's holyword from sacred scripture over
yourself, and what you are doingis you are opening yourself up
(05:18):
and allowing the Lord to imparthis grace on you.
So pick some sacred scripturethat really makes you feel
empowered and strengthened, likeone of them might be where the
spirit of the Lord is, there isfreedom.
That's 2 Corinthians 3, 17.
Just put that one in your backpocket, write it on a sticky
(05:41):
note.
Or find one that you love, likeI can do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me.
You know we have all thoseverses that we love, but maybe
this is a good time to look upsome verses maybe you're not so
familiar with.
That could also be veryencouraging and empowering.
And again, you can write thaton a sticky note and keep it in
(06:04):
your pocket when you are at yourparty or barbecue or whatever
you decide to do.
The second thing I would inviteyou to do is to make a drink
plan.
Okay, I see you rolling youreyes at me, but we are going to
make a plan.
It's kind of like sometimes,when I say let's make a plan,
(06:25):
it's kind of like when I go tomy husband and say let's create
a budget.
He's like, oh, my gosh, thatsounds not so good.
But I promise you, if you makea plan, it is going to help you
succeed.
I know it will.
And even if you don't stickexactly to the plan no, it will.
(06:48):
And even if you don't stickexactly to the plan, you will
notice that you still don'tdrink as much as you might have
had you not had that plan.
So just telling you that, andwhen you have a plan, you can
look at it and say what workedand what didn't, which we'll get
to later but make your drinkplan.
So will you drink?
If so, how much will you drink?
And I don't mean just thinkingin your brain like, oh, let's
(07:09):
see how it goes.
I mean decide now and be veryspecific, because the more
specific you can be, the greateryour chances will be of
actually sticking to it.
For example, you might think youmight plan, plan.
We're not just thinking, we'replanning.
I'm going to have one glass ofwine with dinner and that's it.
(07:32):
I'll pray before I pour and Iwon't refill.
I'll make sure that I bringother fun drinks non-alcoholic
fun drinks that I like, so thatonce I do have my allotted
amount that I decided I'm goingto have that one glass of wine,
I will move on to that and I'llmake sure to always have a
(07:54):
non-alcoholic drink in my handso I don't feel like I'm missing
out and so that people aren'tconstantly asking me if I want a
drink.
So if you go alcohol free,that's even more amazing and
even more freedom for you.
But don't feel like you have toif that's not part of your plan
.
But if you want to challengeyourself, do it and then let me
(08:16):
know how that works for you andhow and what you did that helped
.
Again, part of that plan andthis is so important is to have
that backup drink that youactually like.
Something festive, somethingfun.
Put it in a fun glass or amason jar or whatever makes it
feel celebratory.
(08:37):
Think of like sparkling waterswith berries, a spicy lemonade,
a mocktail that makes you feelfancy, because we are not
punishing ourselves here.
We are choosing somethingbetter.
We are saying no to somethingthat is not serving us and
saying yes to something thatwill give us more freedom and
(08:58):
peace, and that is planning yournon-alcoholic drinks as well.
Step number three know yourtriggers and plan your responses
.
Okay, let's name the stuff thatmight throw you off, some of
those thoughts that might comeup for you, and these thoughts
are likely going to lead toresults that you don't want, my
(09:21):
friend.
You don't want them.
So some of these thoughts mightbe everyone else is drinking.
I feel so awkward and out ofplace.
I am missing out on all the funbecause I'm just a wet blanket
and I'm ruining my fun andeveryone else's fun.
That could be a thought.
So do those sound familiar?
(09:43):
They might.
You might have some other ones,but what we can do and again I
talk about this a lot in myprograms is to reframe those
thoughts.
Thoughts are just thoughts.
You can change them, you canignore them, and one of the best
ways to change a thought is tothink about the results that you
(10:05):
want.
So, going back to that planninglike what are the results that
you want to have at the end ofthe evening, the next morning,
and that will help you changeyour thought, so that you can
have an emotion that will promptyou to an action that will
actually give you the resultthat you want.
So let's prep some comebacksfor those thoughts so when you
(10:29):
are thinking you know everyoneelse is drinking, you can just
think I'm not missing out, I amreally making progress toward my
goal.
I am building my sober muscles.
I am becoming a woman who candrink or not drink, who takes
alcohol or leave it with peace.
Okay, that's one thing that youcan see.
(10:52):
If you're feeling awkward orout of place, you can just tell
yourself like awkward is okay,everybody feels awkward, it just
means I'm growing, I'm learninghow to be uncomfortable and be
okay with that, and then you can.
If you think that you'remissing out, then you can always
(11:13):
think you know I'm not missingout, I am gaining freedom.
This is what freedom tasteslike as you're sipping your
mocktail, I don't know, but justchanging those thoughts up can
be so helpful.
So if you start thinking ofthat ahead of time, what are
those thoughts that you usuallythink in these situations and
(11:35):
what can you change them to?
You can do it in the moment aswell, but it's so helpful if you
kind of prep that out ahead oftime.
So maybe there's.
The other thing is, maybe yourtrigger is emotional, like
stress or anxiety, or justfeeling overstimulated by the
whole dang thing, and that'stotally normal, that's totally
(11:57):
human.
So I just want you to breathethrough it.
I want you to have yourdeclarations.
Maybe have a prayer like Jesus,I trust in you.
Or Lord, thank you so much forshowing me how much better I'm
going to feel in the morning.
You know, just have like alittle short prayer that you can
say when those when that stressor anxiety starts to feel a
(12:21):
little bit overwhelming for you.
The next thing is to anchor inyour why.
So having a strong why is socritical to the success of being
able to reduce or eliminatealcohol.
Because if you're just like Idon't know, it just seems like
(12:41):
it'd be a fun thing to do or agood thing to do or might be
nice to do.
That is not strong.
We are talking about a strongwhy.
Like I want to be more presentwith my grandkids, I want to be
stronger and I don't want to bea burden in my later years, just
, whatever that is.
(13:01):
I want to be more present.
I want to show up fully, haveyour why, front and center, then
take five deep breaths and Iwant you to picture the woman
you are becoming because you areon a journey and whether you
have reached your goal or not,and you're moderating or or
maintaining whatever thatdesired level of sobriety is for
(13:23):
you, picture yourself on thatjourney.
Picture yourself who you'rebecoming.
How does she live?
What does she think?
How does she feel and see her?
Is she clear-headed, is sheconfident?
Is she free?
And then say out loud, if youcan I am no longer the woman who
drinks because she's unsure orshe's anxious, or she's coping
(13:45):
or she's bored.
I am the woman who choosespeace.
I am the woman who trusts Godmore than the moment.
Now, if that just gave youchills, that's the Holy Spirit
reminding you of who you reallyare and whose you are.
Step into that, sister.
(14:06):
Step number five is visual andverbal cues.
So have a reminder on your body.
I remember when I was trying toquit smoking and somebody
recommended having a rubber bandon my wrist.
Was trying to quit smoking andsomebody recommended having a
rubber band on my wrist andanytime I wanted to have a
(14:27):
cigarette to just pull thatrubber band back as far as I
could and let it go.
I did that.
It didn't, that didn't reallywork, that was painful, but so I
didn't really want to do itbecause it was painful.
But if you have kind of areminder on your body, whether
that's a metal, a bracelet, across necklace, something that
you can touch Like I have amiraculous medal and a St
Benedict medal and a cross thatI wear all the time, and
(14:49):
actually people notice thisabout me and I don't even think
anything of it, but I'mconstantly like touching it,
especially when I'm insituations where I'm feeling a
little bit anxious, and I justkind of have them in my hand and
rub them through my fingers.
Also, when I was going through atime of anxiety many years ago
(15:11):
it's probably like 12 or soyears ago, 13 years ago probably
, anyway I had panic attackswhich I had never, ever had
before and my mom had gotten mea miraculous medal and I used to
.
When I started to feel likethat super increased anxiety or
like I was going to have a panicattack, I would just kind of
(15:34):
hold that miraculous medal in myhands and take some deep
breaths and pray.
Sometimes I would go outside.
Those things can be so helpful.
You can also just touch it andsay like, yep, that's right, I
don't need to numb, I'm good,I'm safe, god's got me, whatever
.
And then also, one of the bestthings you can do is to have
(15:56):
some verbal cues.
So actually I I yesterday for aYouTube video that I made,
which, if you don't follow me onYouTube, please do, because I
create content there that Idon't have on this podcast, and
my videos are only about sevento 10 minutes long.
They're pretty quick andconcise.
(16:16):
I think you'll like them.
So check me out on YouTube atthe Catholic sobriety coach.
Anyway, this wasn't supposed tobe like an ad for my YouTube
channel, but I created a videothere and posted it yesterday
called quit, explaining your nofive secrets.
High achieving midlife women useto refuse a drink.
(16:38):
And of course, I wanted tocreate a sheet or a guide that
you guys could use, or whoeverwants it can use, to have those
verbal cues so that you knowwhat you want to say when you're
offered a drink.
So I'll leave the link to thatguide in my show notes so you
(17:00):
can grab that.
But what you do with that isyou pick some of those phrases
that you want to say like I'mgood for now, thanks, I mean,
there's a whole bunch of themand find the ones that work for
you, have two or three and justrepeat them over and over and
over while you're doing laundry,while you're walking the dog,
(17:21):
maybe role play with yourhusband like he offers you a
drink, and you get to say one ofthese things that is going to
build confidence and you will beable to say it with a smile
because, honestly, nobody needsan essay.
And if you go and you listen tomy or watch my YouTube video, I
(17:44):
talk all about that like that,less is more and you can just
have this air of mystery aboutyou without having to over
explain everything.
And I am saying this with somuch love and compassion because
I am a total over-explainer andwhen I first stopped drinking,
(18:04):
I gave people way moreinformation than they needed,
like waitresses and waiters andpeople that did not need to know
knew a lot about me.
So, anyway, you can have thesethings that you can say that are
going to help you feelconfident and assured and, again
(18:25):
, having those ready is justgoing to make you feel a lot
better when you go into thesesocial situations.
Now step six is to stay presentduring the event.
So make sure you're eating realfood before the event.
During the event, make surethat you're staying hydrated.
One of the reasons that we areover drinking in the summertime
(18:46):
is you're just thirsty.
So make sure you are hydratingyour body.
Start today, when you arelistening to this podcast, fill
yourself up bottle of water anddrink it down.
Hydrate all the way up to theevent.
And when you get to the event,think of freedom.
Just picture your freedom.
(19:07):
Laugh, breathe, dance.
Don't think everybody's lookingat me, because they're not.
Don't think I'm a wet blanketon everybody's party.
You're not.
You are not missing out.
You get to wake up to a betterday in a better way tomorrow,
proud of your choices, whetheryou choose to drink or not drink
(19:27):
.
Wake up proud of your choices.
Also, during the event, keepchecking in with yourself.
How do I feel about how I'mshowing up?
Am I still in line with my plan?
If not, totally okay, you canalways reset in the moment.
No shame, just curiosity.
Don't spiral out of control,because that's when
(19:47):
over-drinking can happen.
Just take a deep breath, resetand say Lord, help me start
again right now, just goingforward, like.
Right now, you don't have tothink, to think, oh my gosh, I
didn't stick to my plan.
Now I'll just drink whatever asmuch as I want.
No, no, no, don't do that.
Instead, say I recognize what'sgoing on right now and I'm
(20:12):
gonna invite the Lord in to helpme begin again right now.
Okay, the final thing is just toreflect that night or the next
morning on how things went.
So just ask yourself what wentreally well, what felt really
hard, where did I feel most likeme and what would I tweak for
(20:36):
next time?
This part is critical, so Idon't want you to judge yourself
Again.
You're looking at this from aplace of curiosity.
You're like blues clues withyour handy dandy notebook.
You have evidence.
You're looking to find out whatthat desired level of sobriety
is for you.
That's what you're looking for.
(20:57):
And all of these evidence ofplanning, of you know, messy
action, of showing up well, allof these things are evidence
that are going to lead you tothat, I promise, if you just
stick with it.
So these questions are going tohelp you coach yourself forward,
because that is what we aredoing here, ladies.
(21:18):
We are growing, we are beingformed, and you are doing so
much better than you think, Ipromise, if you are making even
the tiniest steps, everythingstarts with those tiny steps.
Yes, we have those goals thatwe want to get to, but it takes
work, it takes practice, ittakes building those muscles.
(21:40):
So just know that you're doingbetter than you think and thank
the Lord for leading you towardthis freedom and helping you
grow, because you are, I promise, now, friend.
If nobody else tells you today,I want you to know that I am
proud of you, not just for whatyou drink or don't drink,
because you are actuallychoosing to show up for your
(22:03):
life.
Right now, you are breakingcycles, you are tuning in to the
Holy Spirit and each and everyday you are becoming more you.
So if you need more support,you can come hang out with me in
the Sober Summer Reset.
Again, I'm leaving it openuntil July 6th and then the
doors close.
(22:24):
But if you miss out on that, noworries, or you're listening to
this.
After the Sober Summer Reset,I'm sure that I have other
things going on, because I'malways trying to provide
opportunities for you.
So we are walking this outtogether, one joyful, sometimes
awkward, totally Holy Spirit ledstep at a time.
(22:45):
I want you to have a beautiful,connected present 4th of July.
I promise you've got this andhey, if you stick to your plan,
that's amazing.
If you mess it up a little,still amazing.
We are not after perfection, weare after transformation.
I'll see you next time anduntil then, I am praying for you
(23:09):
.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
(23:31):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsbrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram atthecatholicsobrietycoach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time and remember I am
(23:52):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here.
Hey there, beautiful friend.
Happy almost 4th of July.
Okay, let's talk about it,because I know that you are here
for a reason and maybe you'renoticing that your drinking has
become that.
(00:48):
Your drinking has become, oh,let's just say, a little more
than you'd like it to be lately.
Maybe you're drinking a littlebit more often, or when you do
drink, you drink a little morethan you wish that you would.
Maybe what used to be one ortwo glasses on a special
occasion is now almost everyevening, or maybe it's just
become this like automatic thing.
You don't even think about ituntil you look at the bottle and
(01:13):
realize it's almost gone, andthen you're left wondering why
do I feel so disconnected frommyself?
Again, I've had a lot of womenexplain to me that the more
alcohol takes up room in theirlives, the smaller their world
(01:34):
gets.
And if you are feeling likethat, listen, I get it, because
I've been there and that'sexactly why I create the
programs that I create.
Like right now.
I have my Sober Summer Resetgoing right now.
You can actually still sign upthrough July 6th, but after that
(01:55):
I'm closing it, just for justyou know, to keep the privacy
and things shared.
In there People are buildingtrust.
It's been a really wonderfuland active group, so you have
just a few more days.
If you want to pop in there,I'll have the link in my show
notes or you can go to mywebsite, the Catholic Sobriety
(02:17):
Coach.
I almost said Catholic SobrietyPodcast, but you go to
thecatholicsobrietycoachcom andI have a banner there.
Again, I will be closing thedoors on that 62-day challenge
on July 6th.
Anyway, let's just get intotoday.
We are going to talk aboutmaking a plan so that you're not
(02:41):
just white knuckling your waythrough the 4th of July.
This, appropriately, is afreedom plan, because we're
celebrating Independence Day.
Now, I know we're celebratingAmerica's Independence Day, but
it could be your IndependenceDay too.
Let's create a plan thatactually feels good, so will
(03:04):
feel peaceful, grounded andspirit-led.
If you're wondering, how do Iget through the fourth of july
without drinking more than Iwant to or without drinking at
all.
Ladies, this episode is for you.
The first thing that I wouldencourage you to do is to set a
prayerful intention before yougo to that barbecue or beach day
(03:25):
or your cousin Deb's red wineand boozy blowout you know the
one.
Take five minutes to ask theHoly Spirit for clarity.
You can say something like Lord, what will freedom look like
for me today?
And then just stop and listen.
You can use whatever you hearas personal reflection.
(03:50):
Or my favorite thing is tojournal just really quick,
nothing fancy, and think aboutwhat you're hearing and then in
your journal or personalreflection, think about this.
And we talk about this a lot inmy sacred sobriety lab in the
renewal of the mind module.
But we change.
(04:12):
We think about what we want ourresults to be.
That helps with planning.
So in the beginning, before weeven go to the barbecue or
whatever, we are going to think,journal and pray about what do
I want to feel when I go to bedthat night?
Do I want to feel proud,peaceful, present with my kids,
(04:36):
like I was present with thepeople there, and just write all
that down?
Do you want to just feel likeyou have a good amount of energy
when you wake up and not feelgroggy and cloudy headed in the
morning.
And then the third thing I'dlike you to do, as you're
setting a prayerful intention,is to then grab a scripture
(04:57):
verse to anchor you and I knowI've talked about this before on
the podcast and I talk aboutthis in my programs is to speak
declarations over yourself.
So that is speaking God's holyword from sacred scripture over
yourself, and what you are doingis you are opening yourself up
(05:18):
and allowing the Lord to imparthis grace on you.
So pick some sacred scripturethat really makes you feel
empowered and strengthened, likeone of them might be where the
spirit of the Lord is, there isfreedom.
That's 2 Corinthians 3, 17.
Just put that one in your backpocket, write it on a sticky
(05:41):
note.
Or find one that you love, likeI can do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me.
You know we have all thoseverses that we love, but maybe
this is a good time to look upsome verses maybe you're not so
familiar with.
That could also be veryencouraging and empowering.
And again, you can write thaton a sticky note and keep it in
(06:04):
your pocket when you are at yourparty or barbecue or whatever
you decide to do.
The second thing I would inviteyou to do is to make a drink
plan.
Okay, I see you rolling youreyes at me, but we are going to
make a plan.
It's kind of like sometimes,when I say let's make a plan,
(06:25):
it's kind of like when I go tomy husband and say let's create
a budget.
He's like, oh, my gosh, thatsounds not so good.
But I promise you, if you makea plan, it is going to help you
succeed.
I know it will.
And even if you don't stickexactly to the plan no, it will.
(06:48):
And even if you don't stickexactly to the plan, you will
notice that you still don'tdrink as much as you might have
had you not had that plan.
So just telling you that, andwhen you have a plan, you can
look at it and say what workedand what didn't, which we'll get
to later but make your drinkplan.
So will you drink?
If so, how much will you drink?
And I don't mean just thinkingin your brain like, oh, let's
(07:09):
see how it goes.
I mean decide now and be veryspecific, because the more
specific you can be, the greateryour chances will be of
actually sticking to it.
For example, you might think youmight plan, plan.
We're not just thinking, we'replanning.
I'm going to have one glass ofwine with dinner and that's it.
(07:32):
I'll pray before I pour and Iwon't refill.
I'll make sure that I bringother fun drinks non-alcoholic
fun drinks that I like, so thatonce I do have my allotted
amount that I decided I'm goingto have that one glass of wine,
I will move on to that and I'llmake sure to always have a
(07:54):
non-alcoholic drink in my handso I don't feel like I'm missing
out and so that people aren'tconstantly asking me if I want a
drink.
So if you go alcohol free,that's even more amazing and
even more freedom for you.
But don't feel like you have toif that's not part of your plan
.
But if you want to challengeyourself, do it and then let me
(08:16):
know how that works for you andhow and what you did that helped
.
Again, part of that plan andthis is so important is to have
that backup drink that youactually like.
Something festive, somethingfun.
Put it in a fun glass or amason jar or whatever makes it
feel celebratory.
(08:37):
Think of like sparkling waterswith berries, a spicy lemonade,
a mocktail that makes you feelfancy, because we are not
punishing ourselves here.
We are choosing somethingbetter.
We are saying no to somethingthat is not serving us and
saying yes to something thatwill give us more freedom and
(08:58):
peace, and that is planning yournon-alcoholic drinks as well.
Step number three know yourtriggers and plan your responses
.
Okay, let's name the stuff thatmight throw you off, some of
those thoughts that might comeup for you, and these thoughts
are likely going to lead toresults that you don't want, my
(09:21):
friend.
You don't want them.
So some of these thoughts mightbe everyone else is drinking.
I feel so awkward and out ofplace.
I am missing out on all the funbecause I'm just a wet blanket
and I'm ruining my fun andeveryone else's fun.
That could be a thought.
So do those sound familiar?
(09:43):
They might.
You might have some other ones,but what we can do and again I
talk about this a lot in myprograms is to reframe those
thoughts.
Thoughts are just thoughts.
You can change them, you canignore them, and one of the best
ways to change a thought is tothink about the results that you
(10:05):
want.
So, going back to that planninglike what are the results that
you want to have at the end ofthe evening, the next morning,
and that will help you changeyour thought, so that you can
have an emotion that will promptyou to an action that will
actually give you the resultthat you want.
So let's prep some comebacksfor those thoughts so when you
(10:29):
are thinking you know everyoneelse is drinking, you can just
think I'm not missing out, I amreally making progress toward my
goal.
I am building my sober muscles.
I am becoming a woman who candrink or not drink, who takes
alcohol or leave it with peace.
Okay, that's one thing that youcan see.
(10:52):
If you're feeling awkward orout of place, you can just tell
yourself like awkward is okay,everybody feels awkward, it just
means I'm growing, I'm learninghow to be uncomfortable and be
okay with that, and then you can.
If you think that you'remissing out, then you can always
(11:13):
think you know I'm not missingout, I am gaining freedom.
This is what freedom tasteslike as you're sipping your
mocktail, I don't know, but justchanging those thoughts up can
be so helpful.
So if you start thinking ofthat ahead of time, what are
those thoughts that you usuallythink in these situations and
(11:35):
what can you change them to?
You can do it in the moment aswell, but it's so helpful if you
kind of prep that out ahead oftime.
So maybe there's.
The other thing is, maybe yourtrigger is emotional, like
stress or anxiety, or justfeeling overstimulated by the
whole dang thing, and that'stotally normal, that's totally
(11:57):
human.
So I just want you to breathethrough it.
I want you to have yourdeclarations.
Maybe have a prayer like Jesus,I trust in you.
Or Lord, thank you so much forshowing me how much better I'm
going to feel in the morning.
You know, just have like alittle short prayer that you can
say when those when that stressor anxiety starts to feel a
(12:21):
little bit overwhelming for you.
The next thing is to anchor inyour why.
So having a strong why is socritical to the success of being
able to reduce or eliminatealcohol.
Because if you're just like Idon't know, it just seems like
(12:41):
it'd be a fun thing to do or agood thing to do or might be
nice to do.
That is not strong.
We are talking about a strongwhy.
Like I want to be more presentwith my grandkids, I want to be
stronger and I don't want to bea burden in my later years, just
, whatever that is.
(13:01):
I want to be more present.
I want to show up fully, haveyour why, front and center, then
take five deep breaths and Iwant you to picture the woman
you are becoming because you areon a journey and whether you
have reached your goal or not,and you're moderating or or
maintaining whatever thatdesired level of sobriety is for
(13:23):
you, picture yourself on thatjourney.
Picture yourself who you'rebecoming.
How does she live?
What does she think?
How does she feel and see her?
Is she clear-headed, is sheconfident?
Is she free?
And then say out loud, if youcan I am no longer the woman who
drinks because she's unsure orshe's anxious, or she's coping
(13:45):
or she's bored.
I am the woman who choosespeace.
I am the woman who trusts Godmore than the moment.
Now, if that just gave youchills, that's the Holy Spirit
reminding you of who you reallyare and whose you are.
Step into that, sister.
(14:06):
Step number five is visual andverbal cues.
So have a reminder on your body.
I remember when I was trying toquit smoking and somebody
recommended having a rubber bandon my wrist.
Was trying to quit smoking andsomebody recommended having a
rubber band on my wrist andanytime I wanted to have a
(14:27):
cigarette to just pull thatrubber band back as far as I
could and let it go.
I did that.
It didn't, that didn't reallywork, that was painful, but so I
didn't really want to do itbecause it was painful.
But if you have kind of areminder on your body, whether
that's a metal, a bracelet, across necklace, something that
you can touch Like I have amiraculous medal and a St
Benedict medal and a cross thatI wear all the time, and
(14:49):
actually people notice thisabout me and I don't even think
anything of it, but I'mconstantly like touching it,
especially when I'm insituations where I'm feeling a
little bit anxious, and I justkind of have them in my hand and
rub them through my fingers.
Also, when I was going through atime of anxiety many years ago
(15:11):
it's probably like 12 or soyears ago, 13 years ago probably
, anyway I had panic attackswhich I had never, ever had
before and my mom had gotten mea miraculous medal and I used to
.
When I started to feel likethat super increased anxiety or
like I was going to have a panicattack, I would just kind of
(15:34):
hold that miraculous medal in myhands and take some deep
breaths and pray.
Sometimes I would go outside.
Those things can be so helpful.
You can also just touch it andsay like, yep, that's right, I
don't need to numb, I'm good,I'm safe, god's got me, whatever
.
And then also, one of the bestthings you can do is to have
(15:56):
some verbal cues.
So actually I I yesterday for aYouTube video that I made,
which, if you don't follow me onYouTube, please do, because I
create content there that Idon't have on this podcast, and
my videos are only about sevento 10 minutes long.
They're pretty quick andconcise.
(16:16):
I think you'll like them.
So check me out on YouTube atthe Catholic sobriety coach.
Anyway, this wasn't supposed tobe like an ad for my YouTube
channel, but I created a videothere and posted it yesterday
called quit, explaining your nofive secrets.
High achieving midlife women useto refuse a drink.
(16:38):
And of course, I wanted tocreate a sheet or a guide that
you guys could use, or whoeverwants it can use, to have those
verbal cues so that you knowwhat you want to say when you're
offered a drink.
So I'll leave the link to thatguide in my show notes so you
(17:00):
can grab that.
But what you do with that isyou pick some of those phrases
that you want to say like I'mgood for now, thanks, I mean,
there's a whole bunch of themand find the ones that work for
you, have two or three and justrepeat them over and over and
over while you're doing laundry,while you're walking the dog,
(17:21):
maybe role play with yourhusband like he offers you a
drink, and you get to say one ofthese things that is going to
build confidence and you will beable to say it with a smile
because, honestly, nobody needsan essay.
And if you go and you listen tomy or watch my YouTube video, I
(17:44):
talk all about that like that,less is more and you can just
have this air of mystery aboutyou without having to over
explain everything.
And I am saying this with somuch love and compassion because
I am a total over-explainer andwhen I first stopped drinking,
(18:04):
I gave people way moreinformation than they needed,
like waitresses and waiters andpeople that did not need to know
knew a lot about me.
So, anyway, you can have thesethings that you can say that are
going to help you feelconfident and assured and, again
(18:25):
, having those ready is justgoing to make you feel a lot
better when you go into thesesocial situations.
Now step six is to stay presentduring the event.
So make sure you're eating realfood before the event.
During the event, make surethat you're staying hydrated.
One of the reasons that we areover drinking in the summertime
(18:46):
is you're just thirsty.
So make sure you are hydratingyour body.
Start today, when you arelistening to this podcast, fill
yourself up bottle of water anddrink it down.
Hydrate all the way up to theevent.
And when you get to the event,think of freedom.
Just picture your freedom.
(19:07):
Laugh, breathe, dance.
Don't think everybody's lookingat me, because they're not.
Don't think I'm a wet blanketon everybody's party.
You're not.
You are not missing out.
You get to wake up to a betterday in a better way tomorrow,
proud of your choices, whetheryou choose to drink or not drink
(19:27):
.
Wake up proud of your choices.
Also, during the event, keepchecking in with yourself.
How do I feel about how I'mshowing up?
Am I still in line with my plan?
If not, totally okay, you canalways reset in the moment.
No shame, just curiosity.
Don't spiral out of control,because that's when
(19:47):
over-drinking can happen.
Just take a deep breath, resetand say Lord, help me start
again right now, just goingforward, like.
Right now, you don't have tothink, to think, oh my gosh, I
didn't stick to my plan.
Now I'll just drink whatever asmuch as I want.
No, no, no, don't do that.
Instead, say I recognize what'sgoing on right now and I'm
(20:12):
gonna invite the Lord in to helpme begin again right now.
Okay, the final thing is just toreflect that night or the next
morning on how things went.
So just ask yourself what wentreally well, what felt really
hard, where did I feel most likeme and what would I tweak for
(20:36):
next time?
This part is critical, so Idon't want you to judge yourself
Again.
You're looking at this from aplace of curiosity.
You're like blues clues withyour handy dandy notebook.
You have evidence.
You're looking to find out whatthat desired level of sobriety
is for you.
That's what you're looking for.
(20:57):
And all of these evidence ofplanning, of you know, messy
action, of showing up well, allof these things are evidence
that are going to lead you tothat, I promise, if you just
stick with it.
So these questions are going tohelp you coach yourself forward,
because that is what we aredoing here, ladies.
(21:18):
We are growing, we are beingformed, and you are doing so
much better than you think, Ipromise, if you are making even
the tiniest steps, everythingstarts with those tiny steps.
Yes, we have those goals thatwe want to get to, but it takes
work, it takes practice, ittakes building those muscles.
(21:40):
So just know that you're doingbetter than you think and thank
the Lord for leading you towardthis freedom and helping you
grow, because you are, I promise, now, friend.
If nobody else tells you today,I want you to know that I am
proud of you, not just for whatyou drink or don't drink,
because you are actuallychoosing to show up for your
(22:03):
life.
Right now, you are breakingcycles, you are tuning in to the
Holy Spirit and each and everyday you are becoming more you.
So if you need more support,you can come hang out with me in
the Sober Summer Reset.
Again, I'm leaving it openuntil July 6th and then the
doors close.
(22:24):
But if you miss out on that, noworries, or you're listening to
this.
After the Sober Summer Reset,I'm sure that I have other
things going on, because I'malways trying to provide
opportunities for you.
So we are walking this outtogether, one joyful, sometimes
awkward, totally Holy Spirit ledstep at a time.
(22:45):
I want you to have a beautiful,connected present 4th of July.
I promise you've got this andhey, if you stick to your plan,
that's amazing.
If you mess it up a little,still amazing.
We are not after perfection, weare after transformation.
I'll see you next time anduntil then, I am praying for you
(23:09):
.
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend who might alsoget value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic SobrietyCoach, and if you would like to
(23:31):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsbrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram atthecatholicsobrietycoach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time and remember I am
(23:52):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
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