August 6, 2025 • 15 mins
Have you ever felt like the odd one out… and wondered if that’s a problem to fix or a gift to embrace?
In this episode, we explore what happens when you stop trying to fit in and start living from the truth of who God created you to be. If alcohol ever felt like a shortcut to belonging, you’re not alone—and you're not stuck. This conversation will challenge cultural expectations, reframe your sobriety journey, and invite you to rediscover the fun and freedom of standing out.
You’ll walk away with a fresh (and surprisingly joyful) perspective on being different, plus some practical ways to lighten the load and make this journey your own.
Whether you’re sober-curious or already walking the path, this episode will remind you: you were never made to blend in.
Ready to stop trying to just fit in and start embracing the woman you were truly made to be? Join us in the Sacred Sobriety Lab, where being different is totally normal.
Through August 31st, 2025, use code SUMMER25 for 25% off. Give yourself the reset you've been longing for because fitting in is completely overrated—being free is where the fun is.
I'm here for you. I'm praying for you. You are NOT alone!
Please subscribe to this podcast so you won't miss a thing!
👉🏻 JOIN THE FREE 5-DAY KICK START
https://the-catholic-sobriety-coach.myflodesk.com/5-day-sobriety-kick-start
Visit my Website: https://thecatholicsobrietycoach.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here, hey
friend, and welcome back to thepodcast.
Today we are talking aboutsomething that I honestly wish
that someone had told me sooner.
Maybe you don't have to fit in,maybe you were actually never
(00:44):
meant to, and maybe just maybethat's what makes you so
wonderfully you.
Especially when you're walkinga path like alcohol, freedom or
sober curiosity, it can reallyfeel like you're doing something
weird or extreme, but honestly,you're not weird.
You're awake, you're payingattention, you're choosing a
(01:09):
life that actually lines up withyour values, and that's never
something to apologize for.
So let me start off by sayingI've always been a little bit
different.
Growing up, I often felt likethe odd one out.
I didn't quite fit the mold,and I spent a lot of time trying
to figure out how to belong,how to be part of something, how
(01:31):
to feel seen and invited andincluded, and that craving for
connection and community.
Well, it's part of how God mademe, part of how God made me,
but in my younger years, it alsomade me vulnerable.
I started reaching for whatevermade me feel like I was in,
even if it didn't align with whoI really was.
(01:53):
And for me, alcohol became partof that pattern.
It was this magic elixir thatmade me feel like I belonged,
that I had a group, that I hadthings to do, places to go and,
honestly, I felt like it wasenough.
(02:13):
But what I know now is this Iwasn't created to fit in.
I was actually created to standout, and so are you.
And what once felt like a flaw.
This way, I see the world alittle differently.
This deep desire to connectmeaningfully is actually a
(02:36):
superpower.
It's what helps me relate towomen who feel stuck, it's what
allows me to hold space forpeople who feel unseen, and it's
what has shaped my work as aCatholic sobriety coach and
entrepreneur.
I don't have to blend in to beeffective.
In fact, it's the not fittingin that allows me to lead with
(02:59):
compassion, clarity and purpose.
So if you've ever felt likeyou're too different, too deep,
too much or not enough, maybethat's exactly where your
strength lies.
You weren't meant to disappearin the crowd.
You were meant to be a light,and when you let go of alcohol
(03:20):
or even just take a break, thatlight gets a whole lot brighter.
You weren't meant to blend in,you were made to shine.
Jesus didn't blend in, thesaints didn't blend in, and,
sister, neither are you calledto.
When you step into sobriety oreven just explore the idea of
(03:43):
drinking less, it can feel likeyou're violating some unspoken
cultural code Because, whetherwe realize it or not, drinking
has been marketed to us as afast track to being the woman we
think we're supposed to be thechill one, the fun one, the
woman who can throw together acharcuterie board, lead the PTO
(04:04):
meeting and still flirt with herhusband at the end of the night
.
It's not really the wine wecrave, it's the identity we
think it gives us.
So when you put the glass down,even just for a little while,
it can feel like you're not justrefusing a drink, you're
stepping away from that polished, pinterest-perfect version of
(04:29):
yourself that you are sold.
But here's the truth.
I've learned from my ownjourney and from walking with
dozens of other women on theirsyou don't miss alcohol, you miss
the version of you.
You thought alcohol wouldcreate the magnetic woman, the
confident woman, the unbothered,peaceful, radiant woman who
(04:53):
always seems so put together.
But, sister, she does not livein a bottle, she lives in you
and, ironically, you will meether faster when you stop trying
to blend in and start livinglike you are meant to stand out.
Okay, now I want you to picturethis you are a lighthouse on a
(05:17):
stormy coast.
Everything around you is noisy,messy, foggy with expectations,
habits and anxiety.
The crowd is drifting.
People are caught in thecurrent of normal Wine with
dinner cocktails to take theedge off white, knuckling it
(05:37):
through the day just to earnthat drink at night.
Drink at night.
But there you are still, steady, lit from within, not because
you're perfect, not because youhave it all figured out, but
because you've anchored yourselfin something deeper.
You don't need to shout yoursobriety from the rooftops
(05:59):
unless you want to.
You don't have to convinceanyone to join you unless you
want to.
You just need to shine.
And when people get quietenough to notice, they might
start to think hey, maybe Idon't have to stay lost in this
fog either.
That's when you become a signal, a presence, a possibility, a
(06:23):
hope, a presence, a possibility,a hope.
That's the quiet power of notfitting in.
Now let's talk about the saints.
Most of them were respectfullyweirdos of their time.
They didn't conform, theydidn't chase approval.
They choose truth overpopularity, even if it meant
(06:46):
they had to die.
They chose light over comfort.
They said yes to God, even whenit looked completely foolish or
totally isolating, becauseholiness isn't about impressing
people.
It's about loving radically,living honestly and trusting God
(07:06):
more than the crowd.
Jesus even said that we arecalled to be like salt sharp,
distinct, flavor enhancing, notbeige, not bland, not normal,
not lukewarm.
You were not made to disappearinto the background.
You were made to reveal Christthrough your life.
(07:30):
So what does that mean for you?
It means that you don't need acrowd to feel confident, you
don't need alcohol to feelinteresting and you definitely
don't need to wait untileveryone gets it before you
start living in truth.
The world doesn't need morewomen who fit in.
(07:51):
It needs more women who arewilling to break the mold with
grace, courage and a little holyfire.
So next time you feel like theodd one out, don't shrink.
Smile, because you're not lost.
You're leading, you're notbehind, you are ahead and you're
(08:13):
not alone.
You are lit from within.
Now, one of the things I'velearned over the years,
especially as a Catholic womanin the recovery and wellness
space, is that people actuallyrespond when you are just real,
not rehearsed, not trying toimpress, just showing up for
(08:35):
yourself fully and honestly.
Being the odd one out isn'tlonely anymore, it's kind of
freeing.
You stop spending so much timeworrying about what other people
think and you start focusing onwhat God thinks.
You trust your gut, you listento the Holy Spirit, you smile
(08:55):
and say no, thanks, I'm goodwhen someone offers you a drink
that you don't want, and lifestarts to feel a little more
peaceful, a little more honestand a little more like yours.
More like yours.
(09:17):
You're also going to attractother people who are desiring
the same thing that you have, ormaybe they already have it and
they're kind of feeling like theodd one out too.
Now here's something fun.
If this journey has felt alittle heavy or serious lately,
here's your permission slip Makeit fun, make it light and make
(09:38):
it yours, because I promise you,sobriety does not have to feel
like slogging uphill in the rain.
You're not being sentenced,you're actually being sent on a
mission, and I like to think ofthis journey a little like a
video game.
Seriously, you're the maincharacter, like, let's say,
(10:01):
Super Mario.
You've got tools, power ups andallies, and every day you're
leveling up one small win at atime.
Pulling up one small win at atime.
We call this gamifying yoursobriety, and it's something a
lot of my clients love.
Once they stop trying to do itall perfectly and start doing it
with purpose and play.
(10:24):
Okay, here's what it can looklike.
Start a sobriety wins list,open your notes app and jot down
every victory, no matter howsmall, like skipped wine.
Tonight went for a walk, leftthe party early and felt good
about it.
Chose prayer over pouring.
Every single one is a win.
(10:46):
Stack them up and watch yourprogress grow.
The other thing you can do isto set little rewards.
Remember how fun it was to earnstickers or prizes as a kid.
That part of you is still inthere.
Try something like seven daysequals a new lip gloss, or 30
(11:07):
days equals that cozy new bookor dinner with a friend.
Keep it meaningful to you.
You're retraining your brain toassociate sobriety with delight
, not deprivation.
Now here's one that Iabsolutely love Give yourself
(11:27):
secret missions.
Can I go to this familygathering and be so at peace in
my decision that no one eventhinks to ask me why I'm not
drinking?
Can I order a mocktail likeit's no big deal and own it with
confidence?
These missions are quiet butpowerful.
(11:47):
The goal isn't to pretend thatthis journey isn't always easy.
It's not.
You're breaking patterns,you're reshaping habits that go
super, super deep, but you arealso reclaiming joy.
You're remembering who you werebefore alcohol became the
shortcut to belonging, or thereward or the buffer.
(12:08):
And here's the beautiful twistthis isn't punishment, it's
actually progress.
It's you taking the controllerback and saying I'm writing a
new story.
So play the game, pick yourpower ups and keep showing up,
level by level and day by day,until freedom becomes your new
(12:31):
default.
Freedom becomes your newdefault.
So if you've been feeling likethe only one, here's your
reminder.
You're not weird, you'rewonderful, you're not failing,
you are freeing yourself.
And no, you don't have to fitin.
You're allowed to stand out,light, up a room and still be
(12:52):
totally unapologetically.
You, if you are craving moresupport or just want to be up a
room and still be totallyunapologetically.
You, if you are craving moresupport or just want to be in a
room where being different istotally normal.
Come and join us inside theSacred Sobriety Lab.
Whether you're sober, curious,ready for a change, or simply
(13:12):
tired of trying to figure it outalone, this is the space for
you.
Here's what one of our membersrecently shared.
I am so very grateful for allthat you have put into your
podcast and the Sacred SobrietyLab.
As we start summer, I look backat where I was last year at
this time and where I now andsee a noticeable difference.
(13:35):
It was your podcasts that gotme sober, curious, and your
support, care and prayers I'msure of it that have helped me
make good changes.
Thank you.
Inside the lab, you'll get 12months of support and spiritual
growth, weekly group coachingand a private online community,
a self-paced course grounded inCatholic teaching, neuroscience
(13:58):
and habit change, ongoing accessto all future programs,
challenges and content that Icreate during your year, and
monthly updates and resources asthe lab continues to grow.
And now, through August 31st2025, you can get 25% off the
lab with the code SUMMER25 atcheckout.
(14:23):
That's SUMMER, all caps 25.
This is the perfect time to stepinto a new rhythm before fall
begins.
Give yourself the reset thatyou've been longing for.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep shining and remember.
Fitting in is completelyoverrated.
Being free that's where the funis.
(14:45):
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend, who mightalso get value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(15:07):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic Sobriety Coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time, and remember I am
(15:28):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
Welcome to the Catholic Sobriety Podcast, the
go-to resource for women seekingto have a deeper understanding
of the role alcohol plays intheir lives, women who are
looking to drink less or not atall for any reason.
I am your host, christi Walker.
I'm a wife, mom and ajoy-filled Catholic, and I am
(00:22):
the Catholic Sobriety Coach, andI am so glad you're here, hey
friend, and welcome back to thepodcast.
Today we are talking aboutsomething that I honestly wish
that someone had told me sooner.
Maybe you don't have to fit in,maybe you were actually never
(00:44):
meant to, and maybe just maybethat's what makes you so
wonderfully you.
Especially when you're walkinga path like alcohol, freedom or
sober curiosity, it can reallyfeel like you're doing something
weird or extreme, but honestly,you're not weird.
You're awake, you're payingattention, you're choosing a
(01:09):
life that actually lines up withyour values, and that's never
something to apologize for.
So let me start off by sayingI've always been a little bit
different.
Growing up, I often felt likethe odd one out.
I didn't quite fit the mold,and I spent a lot of time trying
to figure out how to belong,how to be part of something, how
(01:31):
to feel seen and invited andincluded, and that craving for
connection and community.
Well, it's part of how God mademe, part of how God made me,
but in my younger years, it alsomade me vulnerable.
I started reaching for whatevermade me feel like I was in,
even if it didn't align with whoI really was.
(01:53):
And for me, alcohol became partof that pattern.
It was this magic elixir thatmade me feel like I belonged,
that I had a group, that I hadthings to do, places to go and,
honestly, I felt like it wasenough.
(02:13):
But what I know now is this Iwasn't created to fit in.
I was actually created to standout, and so are you.
And what once felt like a flaw.
This way, I see the world alittle differently.
This deep desire to connectmeaningfully is actually a
(02:36):
superpower.
It's what helps me relate towomen who feel stuck, it's what
allows me to hold space forpeople who feel unseen, and it's
what has shaped my work as aCatholic sobriety coach and
entrepreneur.
I don't have to blend in to beeffective.
In fact, it's the not fittingin that allows me to lead with
(02:59):
compassion, clarity and purpose.
So if you've ever felt likeyou're too different, too deep,
too much or not enough, maybethat's exactly where your
strength lies.
You weren't meant to disappearin the crowd.
You were meant to be a light,and when you let go of alcohol
(03:20):
or even just take a break, thatlight gets a whole lot brighter.
You weren't meant to blend in,you were made to shine.
Jesus didn't blend in, thesaints didn't blend in, and,
sister, neither are you calledto.
When you step into sobriety oreven just explore the idea of
(03:43):
drinking less, it can feel likeyou're violating some unspoken
cultural code Because, whetherwe realize it or not, drinking
has been marketed to us as afast track to being the woman we
think we're supposed to be thechill one, the fun one, the
woman who can throw together acharcuterie board, lead the PTO
(04:04):
meeting and still flirt with herhusband at the end of the night
.
It's not really the wine wecrave, it's the identity we
think it gives us.
So when you put the glass down,even just for a little while,
it can feel like you're not justrefusing a drink, you're
stepping away from that polished, pinterest-perfect version of
(04:29):
yourself that you are sold.
But here's the truth.
I've learned from my ownjourney and from walking with
dozens of other women on theirsyou don't miss alcohol, you miss
the version of you.
You thought alcohol wouldcreate the magnetic woman, the
confident woman, the unbothered,peaceful, radiant woman who
(04:53):
always seems so put together.
But, sister, she does not livein a bottle, she lives in you
and, ironically, you will meether faster when you stop trying
to blend in and start livinglike you are meant to stand out.
Okay, now I want you to picturethis you are a lighthouse on a
(05:17):
stormy coast.
Everything around you is noisy,messy, foggy with expectations,
habits and anxiety.
The crowd is drifting.
People are caught in thecurrent of normal Wine with
dinner cocktails to take theedge off white, knuckling it
(05:37):
through the day just to earnthat drink at night.
Drink at night.
But there you are still, steady, lit from within, not because
you're perfect, not because youhave it all figured out, but
because you've anchored yourselfin something deeper.
You don't need to shout yoursobriety from the rooftops
(05:59):
unless you want to.
You don't have to convinceanyone to join you unless you
want to.
You just need to shine.
And when people get quietenough to notice, they might
start to think hey, maybe Idon't have to stay lost in this
fog either.
That's when you become a signal, a presence, a possibility, a
(06:23):
hope, a presence, a possibility,a hope.
That's the quiet power of notfitting in.
Now let's talk about the saints.
Most of them were respectfullyweirdos of their time.
They didn't conform, theydidn't chase approval.
They choose truth overpopularity, even if it meant
(06:46):
they had to die.
They chose light over comfort.
They said yes to God, even whenit looked completely foolish or
totally isolating, becauseholiness isn't about impressing
people.
It's about loving radically,living honestly and trusting God
(07:06):
more than the crowd.
Jesus even said that we arecalled to be like salt sharp,
distinct, flavor enhancing, notbeige, not bland, not normal,
not lukewarm.
You were not made to disappearinto the background.
You were made to reveal Christthrough your life.
(07:30):
So what does that mean for you?
It means that you don't need acrowd to feel confident, you
don't need alcohol to feelinteresting and you definitely
don't need to wait untileveryone gets it before you
start living in truth.
The world doesn't need morewomen who fit in.
(07:51):
It needs more women who arewilling to break the mold with
grace, courage and a little holyfire.
So next time you feel like theodd one out, don't shrink.
Smile, because you're not lost.
You're leading, you're notbehind, you are ahead and you're
(08:13):
not alone.
You are lit from within.
Now, one of the things I'velearned over the years,
especially as a Catholic womanin the recovery and wellness
space, is that people actuallyrespond when you are just real,
not rehearsed, not trying toimpress, just showing up for
(08:35):
yourself fully and honestly.
Being the odd one out isn'tlonely anymore, it's kind of
freeing.
You stop spending so much timeworrying about what other people
think and you start focusing onwhat God thinks.
You trust your gut, you listento the Holy Spirit, you smile
(08:55):
and say no, thanks, I'm goodwhen someone offers you a drink
that you don't want, and lifestarts to feel a little more
peaceful, a little more honestand a little more like yours.
More like yours.
(09:17):
You're also going to attractother people who are desiring
the same thing that you have, ormaybe they already have it and
they're kind of feeling like theodd one out too.
Now here's something fun.
If this journey has felt alittle heavy or serious lately,
here's your permission slip Makeit fun, make it light and make
(09:38):
it yours, because I promise you,sobriety does not have to feel
like slogging uphill in the rain.
You're not being sentenced,you're actually being sent on a
mission, and I like to think ofthis journey a little like a
video game.
Seriously, you're the maincharacter, like, let's say,
(10:01):
Super Mario.
You've got tools, power ups andallies, and every day you're
leveling up one small win at atime.
Pulling up one small win at atime.
We call this gamifying yoursobriety, and it's something a
lot of my clients love.
Once they stop trying to do itall perfectly and start doing it
with purpose and play.
(10:24):
Okay, here's what it can looklike.
Start a sobriety wins list,open your notes app and jot down
every victory, no matter howsmall, like skipped wine.
Tonight went for a walk, leftthe party early and felt good
about it.
Chose prayer over pouring.
Every single one is a win.
(10:46):
Stack them up and watch yourprogress grow.
The other thing you can do isto set little rewards.
Remember how fun it was to earnstickers or prizes as a kid.
That part of you is still inthere.
Try something like seven daysequals a new lip gloss, or 30
(11:07):
days equals that cozy new bookor dinner with a friend.
Keep it meaningful to you.
You're retraining your brain toassociate sobriety with delight
, not deprivation.
Now here's one that Iabsolutely love Give yourself
(11:27):
secret missions.
Can I go to this familygathering and be so at peace in
my decision that no one eventhinks to ask me why I'm not
drinking?
Can I order a mocktail likeit's no big deal and own it with
confidence?
These missions are quiet butpowerful.
(11:47):
The goal isn't to pretend thatthis journey isn't always easy.
It's not.
You're breaking patterns,you're reshaping habits that go
super, super deep, but you arealso reclaiming joy.
You're remembering who you werebefore alcohol became the
shortcut to belonging, or thereward or the buffer.
(12:08):
And here's the beautiful twistthis isn't punishment, it's
actually progress.
It's you taking the controllerback and saying I'm writing a
new story.
So play the game, pick yourpower ups and keep showing up,
level by level and day by day,until freedom becomes your new
(12:31):
default.
Freedom becomes your newdefault.
So if you've been feeling likethe only one, here's your
reminder.
You're not weird, you'rewonderful, you're not failing,
you are freeing yourself.
And no, you don't have to fitin.
You're allowed to stand out,light, up a room and still be
(12:52):
totally unapologetically.
You, if you are craving moresupport or just want to be up a
room and still be totallyunapologetically.
You, if you are craving moresupport or just want to be in a
room where being different istotally normal.
Come and join us inside theSacred Sobriety Lab.
Whether you're sober, curious,ready for a change, or simply
(13:12):
tired of trying to figure it outalone, this is the space for
you.
Here's what one of our membersrecently shared.
I am so very grateful for allthat you have put into your
podcast and the Sacred SobrietyLab.
As we start summer, I look backat where I was last year at
this time and where I now andsee a noticeable difference.
(13:35):
It was your podcasts that gotme sober, curious, and your
support, care and prayers I'msure of it that have helped me
make good changes.
Thank you.
Inside the lab, you'll get 12months of support and spiritual
growth, weekly group coachingand a private online community,
a self-paced course grounded inCatholic teaching, neuroscience
(13:58):
and habit change, ongoing accessto all future programs,
challenges and content that Icreate during your year, and
monthly updates and resources asthe lab continues to grow.
And now, through August 31st2025, you can get 25% off the
lab with the code SUMMER25 atcheckout.
(14:23):
That's SUMMER, all caps 25.
This is the perfect time to stepinto a new rhythm before fall
begins.
Give yourself the reset thatyou've been longing for.
Until next time, keep showingup, keep shining and remember.
Fitting in is completelyoverrated.
Being free that's where the funis.
(14:45):
Well, that does it for thisepisode of the Catholic Sobriety
Podcast.
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand I would invite you to share
it with a friend, who mightalso get value from it as well.
And make sure you subscribe soyou don't miss a thing.
I am the Catholic sobrietycoach, and if you would like to
(15:07):
learn how to work with me orlearn more about the coaching
that I offer, visit my website,thecatholicsobrietycoachcom.
Follow me on Instagram at theCatholic Sobriety Coach.
I look forward to speaking toyou next time, and remember I am
(15:28):
here for you.
I am praying for you.
You are not alone.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.