June 2, 2025 • 28 mins
Why does a man with $2.1 trillion (five times Elon Musk's wealth) conclude that everything is "vanity and striving after wind"? King Solomon's ancient wisdom on happiness finds surprising validation in modern psychological research.
We've put happiness on a pedestal as life's ultimate goal, but what if chasing it directly is actually counterproductive? This episode dives into fascinating research from Jonathan Haidt's "The Happiness Hypothesis" revealing why achievements often feel anticlimactic and why circumstances—both good and bad—have surprisingly little long-term effect on our happiness levels.
Discover the scientific formula for happiness (H = S + C + V) and why your voluntary actions contribute a whopping 40% to your well-being while your circumstances account for just 10%. We explore the crucial difference between pleasures (which feel good momentarily) and gratifications (which engage us fully and create lasting satisfaction), and why "flow states" might be the secret to meaningful fulfillment.
The conversation takes a provocative turn examining Buddha's philosophy of non-attachment. What if the enlightened one missed something crucial by never actually speaking with the suffering people he observed? Perhaps complete detachment isn't the answer—our greatest joys and deepest meaning come precisely from the connections that make us vulnerable to pain.
Whether you're fascinated by ancient wisdom, modern psychology, or simply seeking a more meaningful approach to well-being, this episode offers valuable insights on living with purpose beyond the happiness trap. What worthy pursuits will you dedicate yourself to?
Resources from This Episode:
- The Happiness Hypothesis, by Jonathan Haidt: https://amzn.to/43fzkkw
- Authentic Happiness: https://amzn.to/3Zr2ewT
As an Amazon Partner, our podcast earns from qualified purchases at no extra cost to you.
________________________________________________________________
Where to Find Us:
Web: https://clutteredpath.com/
Patreon: https://patreon.com/clutteredpath
Questions/Comments: feedback@clutteredpath.com
_________________________________________________________________
Follow us on Social Media:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Todd (00:00):
This is the Cluttered Path , a compass for midlife.
We put happiness on a pedestalas some sort of ultimate goal in
life.
The pursuit of happiness isactually enshrined in the US
Constitution.
(00:20):
But what if chasing happinessis actually a trap?
The thing is, happiness comesand goes, so we need to ask
ourselves whether there'ssomething deeper and more
meaningful to aim for.
So today we're asking thequestion about the pursuit of
happiness.
Is it a bad idea or a worthygoal?
My name's Todd and I'm herewith James.
Hi, james, good morning.
James (00:39):
Todd, hope you're well.
Todd (00:40):
Let's start with a story about King Solomon.
He lived about 3,000 years agoand he became king of Israel
after his father, king David,died.
And the interesting thing hereis he was maybe 24 years old at
the time, so he was very youngSolomon.
He was very pious, he loved Godand he worshipped him.
So God appeared to Solomon in adream one night and he said hey
, solomon, ask what you wantfrom me.
(01:03):
And out of humility, solomoncame back with this.
He said look, you've made meking, although I'm just a little
child.
Give me an understanding mindto govern your people, that I
may discern between good andevil.
And that actually pleased God.
And he said look, because youasked this and did not ask for
riches or long life, I'm goingto give you that wise and
discerning mind so that nobodylike you has been before you and
(01:25):
nobody after is going to belike you.
I'm going to give you what youask for, but I'm also going to
give you riches and honor, so noother king is going to be able
to compare with you.
James (01:35):
Wow yeah.
So that's not what I wouldexpect a 24 year old to ask for
himself.
Nope.
Todd (01:42):
If God were to appear to me and ask that question, I'd be
like, yeah, you know God, I'dput on a pious face and go.
You know God, make me rich so Ican do good things for other
people.
I always couch my greed incharitable terms to make it feel
better.
But Solomon it's interestingthat he's only 24 and he was
(02:04):
already wise beyond his yearsbecause of his ask of God.
Now, solomon, he did become awise man and his gift of wisdom
was legendary.
He became a prolific writer, apoet and a scientist.
He ended up writing over 3,000proverbs and 1,000 songs.
He produced scientific manuals.
He spent time describing nature, plants and animals, so he
(02:27):
became known as the wisest manon earth.
Now, hearing the stories, therewas a queen at the time, the
Queen of Sheba.
She'd heard the legend ofSolomon, so she paid him a visit
.
Now she was a ruler in what ismodern day Yemen.
She was very wealthy worthabout a billion dollars in
today's dollars and she visitedJerusalem to see for herself and
the scene was just too much forher to take in and the story
(02:49):
says that her breath was justtaken away and she said look, I
heard in my own land of yourwords and your wisdom.
So I came to see for myself.
But they didn't even tell methe half of it, and your people
are happy.
James (03:02):
Yeah, it's very interesting.
More often than not, today'sstate's officials visits to
other countries are like anon-event Right.
Todd (03:09):
And this state of visit.
It was a colossal event.
So he was very wise.
But Solomon's wealth was alsolegendary.
I mean he had massive revenuestreams coming in.
There was just the incoming ofgold that he amassed.
It was like 50,000 pounds ofgold per year, so that's like
$2.3 billion of gold coming in.
They also collected tribute andtaxes from countries that
(03:32):
Israel ruled.
So Solomon's wealth was soimmense that silver was just
regarded as gravel, just commonas stones.
And if we want to compareSolomon's wealth to the world's
richest people, there is aForbes list of richest people
out there and Elon Musk is atthe top.
He's worth $442 billion, butKing Solomon's net worth in
(03:53):
today's dollars $2.1 trillion.
So that's about five times thewealth of Elon Musk.
Wow.
James (03:59):
Yeah, I can't fathom that that's such immense wealth.
Todd (04:03):
Yes, Now Solomon.
This is the classic story ofthe most talented human being
who achieved more success thananyone in human history.
And we'll hear more aboutSolomon as we go, but today
we're discussing topics from abook called the Happiness
Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.
If you'd like to pick up a copyof the book, check out the link
in the episode description.
As an Amazon partner, ourpodcast earns from qualified
(04:30):
purchases at no extra cost toyou, so help us pay the bills.
James (04:31):
If you'd like to pick up a copy of the book, yeah, we'd
appreciate that.
The burning question is whethersuccess brought Solomon joy and
satisfaction in life.
Todd (04:38):
The very first lesson we can take from King Solomon is
this External fulfillment.
It's an illusion.
So Solomon's reflections on hisown life as an older man.
They're very helpful for ustoday, in the book of
Ecclesiastes.
Here are his words.
I mean he spent time in hislife pursuing any and all
avenues of success and happiness.
He pursued power first andforemost.
(04:59):
He said look, I'm a preacherand I've been king over Israel.
And when it comes to wisdom, hesaid, look, I applied my heart
to know wisdom and to knowmadness and folly, but with
power and wisdom.
He just concluded this.
He said look, if you got a lotof wisdom, it deprives you of
peace and tranquility.
James (05:15):
With increased knowledge comes increased sorrow, yeah,
and I just want to add here thatthat rings so true with me
today.
Todd (05:30):
It's like I gave up news a few weeks ago and I feel so
much better for it oh right, Ican't watch the news, man.
So he pursued that man, powerand wisdom, and after, at the
end of his life, he's just likehey, it's just robbed me of my
peace and I'm just gave mesorrow.
But then he also pursuedpleasures, and he said this.
He said I know what I'll pursuepleasures.
So, Solomon, enjoy yourself.
So he searched out ways tocheer up himself with wine and
(05:53):
he built houses and vineyards,parks and gardens for his own
enjoyment.
But with regards to that, hejust concluded look, laughter is
just madness.
Pleasure, it's of no use.
And that's why we can'tfantasize.
We fantasize about retiring andlaying on a beach somewhere,
just relaxing for the rest ofour days.
We can't do that becausepleasure, it's limited in its
ability to please us, right?
So then he threw himself intowork and he said look, I
considered all the work I'd doneand all the toil I expended
(06:17):
doing it.
But with that he just concludedlook, I just hated all my work,
seeing that I'm going to do allthis work and I'm just going to
leave everything to somebodyelse.
That person may be wise, orthey may be a fool.
So his final conclusions,looking back on his life, he
just said look the wise personthey died just like the fool.
It's all vanity and strivingafter wind.
So there's just nothing to begained from these pursuits.
James (06:40):
So Solomon had everything power, pleasure and wealth but
he still felt empty.
Todd (06:46):
Yes, and we now have scientific research that tells
us why.
Now, from the book, researchpoints us to what scientists
call the adaptation principle.
And if you think about yourbest and worst experience in
life, maybe your best experiencecould be you're a startup
founder that sells your companyone day for $100 million.
So in a moment all your dreamscome true.
(07:07):
You get an insane amount ofwealth coming in and it does
change your life forever.
That's the best experience.
Now what about the worstexperience?
Let's say you have a horribleaccident, you're hit by a bus
and you become a paraplegic.
You wake up in the hospital andthe doc's like look, you're
never going to walk again.
So naturally you're going toinitially be in this horrible
pit of despair because yourlife's changed forever in that
(07:29):
scenario too.
But here's what the adaptationprinciple says Whatever happens
to us in life, good or bad,we're going to adapt to that new
circumstance and return to abaseline state of happiness.
So whether you become aparaplegic or if you're a
startup founder, billionaire,you're going to have some level
of happiness down the road andyou're going to return to a
(07:50):
baseline.
That is quite interesting, yeah, and it makes me think of the
story of Lex Luger.
He was a pro wrestler, famousback in the 80s, 90s, whatnot,
but he was also a former NFLfootball player.
He was 6'6 and 275 pounds, athis peak Now.
During his athletic career hehad bone spurs that formed on
his neck and on a long flight hewas sitting there talking to
(08:13):
someone on a transcontinentalflight and so just in there for
a long time he was sitting therewith his neck cranked to one
side talking to someone next tohim and his neck started to hurt
.
So then he landed, went to thehotel and they just went to bed
and overnight there was swellingthat took place and he awoke
the next morning completelyparalyzed, from the chest down.
He could move his arms, but hecouldn't do anything else.
(08:35):
He laid there in a panic and hejust sat there screaming,
trying to get someone to comehelp him.
Now, years later, he was apatient at the Shepherd Center
in Atlanta and I actually hadlunch with Lex Luger
Interestingly enough, it wasjust the two of us and we just
sat there eating cafeteria foodand he told me his life story.
He was sitting there in amotorized wheelchair and I'm
(08:55):
sitting across from him and hislimbs were a bit twisted, a
little bit because of the nervedamage, but he was still a
massive human being.
I was just sitting therelooking at his thighs, like this
guy is huge, and I felt like achild sitting across from him.
But here's what he said abouthis paralysis he's like look,
todd, as a pro wrestler,football player, whatever, I had
success and I had all thismoney, I had Porsches, I had big
(09:19):
houses, he said.
But I was surrounded by peoplethat were just users, losers and
abusers.
That's what he called them.
It was just people that wantedsomething from him.
But after the paralysis he saidthis he's like look, I've got
friends now for the first timein my life.
James (09:33):
Yeah, lex found a good perspective on bad circumstances
.
Yes, he did yeah.
Todd (09:39):
Wow.
So King Solomon adapted to hiswealthy lifestyle, and then Lex
Luger adapted to his paralysis.
So, lex, his story.
He goes from extreme wealth andall the advantages in life and
living in luxury to paralysisand poverty.
Now, at first I felt sorry forhim, but as I sat there talking
to him, the guy really motivatedme, because he pepped me up
(10:01):
from his wheelchair, no less.
So that's the adaptationprinciple.
Now what about ouraccomplishments?
And thinking about King Solomon, scientists talk about the
progress principle when it comesto our accomplishments, and
what this means is when youachieve something, the enjoyment
is usually limited or evennon-existent.
Now why is that?
It's because our minds givepriority to anticipation over
(10:23):
the actual achievement.
So your achievements could be.
For myself, I mean, I graduatedboot camp from the Marines.
It was actually a surrealexperience.
I wasn't euphoric, I was justtired, I was just ready to go
home.
I ended up sleeping for likethree hours after that.
I was just tired, I was justready to go home.
I ended up sleeping for likethree hours after that.
Also, graduating from college,that was kind of a letdown
because it's like okay, now Igot to get to work, what next?
(10:50):
So the joy.
It ended up being in the dailygrind and looking forward to
accomplishing the goal.
And so the author's takeJonathan Haidt.
He said this aboutaccomplishments.
He said look, when it comes togoal pursuit, it really is the
journey that counts, not thedestination, the final moment of
success.
It's often no more thrillingthan the relief of taking off a
heavy backpack at the end of along hike.
So the takeaway here is whetherwe have good or bad
(11:12):
circumstances in life, theyreally don't matter that much
long term.
And Solomon's conclusion waslook, success, it's all vanity.
Chasing after win, it's justmeaningless.
And today we've got thatscientific research showing us
why.
The adaptation principle andthe progress principle, wow so
the message sounds pretty bleak.
James (11:30):
How about some data that paints a slightly happier?
Todd (11:35):
Right.
If we stop there, I couldeasily turn into a nihilist
thinking that nothing matters,so why bother?
And then the words of the DaveMatthews song eat, drink and be
merry, because tomorrow we die.
We don't stop there, though.
Here's some good news there isan actual scientific formula for
happiness.
But let's start by definingwhat we mean by happiness.
(11:55):
Looking at the word happiness,we're talking about a feeling or
some state of well-being andcontentment.
You could also say satisfactionin life, or even joy, and
there's a book called AuthenticHappiness, written by a fellow
named Martin Seligman, and heactually came up with a formula
for happiness and it goes likethis H equals S plus C plus V.
(12:15):
So our happiness, here's theformula S, that's our biological
set point.
This means we have a geneticpredisposition towards happiness
or unhappiness.
This is the part of us that wecannot change, and that's why
some people you encounterthey're kind of miserable to be
around.
Maybe they're sorry, sad sacks,but others seem happy and
bubbly and they can be annoyingtoo.
(12:37):
But that's our geneticpredisposition.
And you know what, in theformula, that accounts for 50%
of our happiness state.
So that's the S part.
So the C in the equation,that's our circumstances.
These are life circumstanceswhere external factors
contribute to our happiness andthe interesting part here is
they only account for about 10%of our baseline happiness level.
(12:59):
And now the V, h equals S plusC plus V.
The V, that is our voluntaryaction.
These are activities that arewithin our control and they
account for 40% of our happiness.
So biological set point out ofour control, just part of our
personality.
It puts us somewhere on aspectrum of positive or negative
outlook Circumstances.
(13:20):
They have the least influence,but voluntary actions they put
us in a better place on thehappiness scale.
James (13:27):
Interesting.
Yeah, I would have thoughtcircumstances would have had a
much larger influence on that.
Todd (13:32):
Same for me, and the book does cover circumstances along
with things you can do toimprove your situation.
Now we don't have enough timeto dig into that subject, but
the book is packed with tons ofinfo, so I highly recommend it.
James (13:44):
So this is a good reminder that your own state of
mind is your own responsibility.
Todd (13:49):
Yes, I totally agree, and we do have a responsibility here
, even if it means getting helpfrom others, and let's dig more
into that subject.
Let's talk about the voluntaryactions that bring us joy.
Now there's power in that Vcomponent of the happiness
equation.
But the author gives a warning.
He's like look, not all actionsare beneficial.
So if you're out there chasingknowledge, wealth, power and
(14:12):
pleasures, those are notnecessarily beneficial.
Sex and food they're good, buttoo much of it can leave us
feeling disgusted with ourselves.
And also conspicuousconsumption.
If we're going out and buying aLambo and things like that,
we're prioritizing things overpeople.
That's not beneficial and alsopursuing these wrong activities
that can lead to mental andphysical health issues.
(14:34):
So just be aware of that.
So let's talk about thebeneficial actions as part of
that V component of thehappiness equation.
Let's start with the benefits ofinternal mental work.
Now you can start out your daydoing breathing exercises that
calm your mind.
In the middle of the day, whenyou're stressed, you can spend
five minutes doing box breathingexercises.
(14:55):
We won't get into that today,but doing breathing exercises
that calm your heart rate andget you just at peace.
There's also daily meditativepractices that can help you see
beyond immediate stressors andthen doing things like gratitude
journaling we talked about inthe past, and also cognitive
reframing.
Now, that's a psychologicaltechnique that you can use to
(15:16):
identify your negative view oflife situations, your negative
view of your experiences,negative view of events and
ideas.
You have to identify this is apretty negative view and then
you follow a process tochallenge your perspective on
that issue and that's how youchange it.
And doing cognitive reframingis one method that we can use to
rewire the neural networkinside of our heads.
(15:39):
That's a beneficial activity.
So that's internal mental work.
Now, what about inconspicuousspending?
The author talked about this.
He said you should spend moneyon experiences rather than
things.
Experiences they're shared withothers and they help create
connection.
Shared with others and theyhelp create connection.
So stop trying to keep up withthe Joneses by buying expensive
(16:00):
toys and spend your money onfamily time, vacations and other
activities that bond you withother people.
James (16:06):
That's why money is not evil in and of itself.
Todd (16:09):
Right.
It's how we view money thatmatters and how we're using it
that really matters.
Now the author also talkedabout the benefits of getting
into what he called a flow state.
So that's a state of totalimmersion in a hard task that
matches up quite well to ourskills and abilities.
Now, many people enjoy thisstate more than sensual
(16:30):
pleasures, and some people callit being in the zone, but the
psychologists have settled onthe term flow, and when you're
in a flow state, it just feelslike effortless movement.
Flow happens and you just gowith it.
Now, getting more details onthis, it often occurs with
physical activity things likeskiing, driving a fast car,
playing team sports, stuff likethat.
It's also aided by the actionsof other people around you of
(16:53):
other people around you.
So if you're singing in a choirI don't know if you've ever
done that, but singing in achoir, in harmony with others
around you, you can reach a flowstate and it just feels so good
.
Dancing, reaching a flow statewith your dance partner, or
simply getting into a deepconversation.
So these are actions of othersaround you that help you get
into a flow state.
(17:13):
Now there's also soloactivities in a creative sense
that you can pursue to help youget the flow state.
So if you're an artist, maybeyou're painting a picture or
maybe you're writing or even aphotographer so these creative
activities you can get yourselfinto a flow state where it just
feels effortless and you'reaccomplishing things.
Then it comes to spiritualmatters.
This is where we're studying totransform the mind.
(17:34):
You're spending time inmeditation or prayer on, maybe,
the tenets of your faith.
You also want to spend timetrying to align behaviors with
beliefs.
Nobody wants to be a hypocrite.
You also want to identifycharacter flaws and say, hey,
here are areas where I need toimprove.
And then just general spiritualgrowth Prayer and meditation
can help with that.
And then, along the lines ofspiritual activity serving
(17:56):
others, you can reach a flowstate doing that.
But here are the keys to flowit has to be something worthy of
pursuing, there has to be achallenge involved and it has to
fully engage your attention.
You have to possess skills tomeet the challenge.
So I'm not going to reach flowstate if I go out on an NFL
practice field and start tryingto play with those guys.
I don't have the skills for that, so I need to possess skills
(18:20):
that match the challenge.
And what happens in flow stateis you're getting immediate
feedback on how you're doing ateach step, and that aligns with
the progress principle, where weget satisfaction out of that.
So you get this flash afterflash of positive emotion during
an activity in flow state.
James (18:37):
I think we can all relate to reaching flow state with
worthwhile activities.
Todd (18:41):
Flow state.
It's a good feeling.
It's like Neo in that movie,the Matrix you feel confident,
capable, unstoppable, and it'sthe opposite of that very common
nightmare where you're runningaway from a bad guy while
walking in mud.
Here's another worthwhileactivity.
The author recommends that wearrange our lives to find
(19:02):
balance between pleasures andgratifications.
Now let's talk about thedifference between those.
Now, pleasures, they're likesensual delights that spark
emotion in us Eating good food,having sex, back rubs, seeing a
beautiful sunset, standing thereenjoying a cool breeze.
So these are sensual thingsthat spark emotion in us.
(19:22):
But here's the thing there's nolasting benefit from those
activities.
You feel good in the moment,but there's nothing afterwards.
Now they're not bad, but toomuch sensual pleasure we end up
overdosing and deadeningourselves to future pleasure,
almost like a drug.
Gratifications, however, theseare much more fulfilling
activities.
So these are activities thatengage you fully.
(19:44):
They draw on your strengths andthey allow you to lose your
self-awareness, and they askmore of us.
We get challenged bygratifications and they make us
extend ourselves.
They often come fromaccomplishing something or
learning something or improvingsomething.
These gratifications areassociated with the flow state
where hard work becomeseffortless and we actually want
(20:07):
to exert ourselves more and moreso that we get better.
Now the author did a scientificexperiment with his students on
pleasures versus gratifications.
He assigned activities.
He said first thing I want youto do is indulge in a pleasure,
and specifically I want you totake a break and eat some ice
cream during the day and enjoyit.
Second, I want you to performthree gratifications.
(20:28):
I want you to attend a lecturethat you normally don't go to.
I want you to perform an act ofkindness for a friend who's
down.
I also want you to write downreasons you're grateful for
someone and then go tell themabout it.
And here are the results thekindness and gratitude
activities, the gratifications.
They left the students feelinggood the rest of the day or even
(20:48):
longer.
They experienced long-termbenefits from pursuing
gratifications.
The ice cream it was nice inthe moment, but no lasting
impact.
Once they finished the icecream, they just moved on.
James (20:59):
That don't make sense.
It seems like happiness issomething that we're
experiencing, but we don't getit directly.
Todd (21:06):
I know right.
I believe that we can enjoy asense of well-being and
contentment, but it's only abyproduct of pursuing other
pleasures.
James (21:15):
Yeah, devoting our time and energy to worthwhile
pursuits and relationships.
So where does religion factorinto all that?
Todd (21:24):
Yeah, this is a biggie.
So in his research forHappiness Hypothesis, jonathan
Haidt, he studied the life ofBuddha and he initially thought
that Buddha would provide us thebest example of how to live our
lives.
But he was surprised.
Now he was taken in and he wasallured by the teachings on the
futility of striving.
That sounds good and thinkingabout the promise of inner
(21:47):
tranquility from reachingenlightenment.
That was great.
But he discovered something.
He began to think Buddhismmight be based on an
overreaction or maybe even anerror.
James (21:58):
Interesting An overreaction.
So what does that mean?
Todd (22:00):
He went into the life of Buddha.
So who was Buddha?
He was born Siddhartha Gautama.
Hope I'm not butchering thepronunciation, but he was born a
king in northern India and hisdad had heard some prophecy
somewhere that his son wouldturn his back on the kingdom.
So his dad ended up lavishinghim with sensual pleasures
because he wanted to prevent himfrom seeing anything that might
(22:23):
be disturbing.
So Siddhartha ended up beingmarried to a beautiful princess
and he was surrounded by a haremof women.
But he grew bored with it all.
Now, that's the adaptationprinciple in practice.
He was just accustomed to it.
It was there, the luxury, thewomen, and he became curious
about the outside world.
So he ended up taking a chariotride over three days.
(22:44):
So day one he was going out on achariot ride and the dad, the
king, he ordered all the sickand crippled people to be taken
inside because he didn't wanthis son to see them.
But despite his best efforts,they encountered an old man
along the way and Siddharth sawhim and he says, okay, well,
what's going on with this dude?
What's wrong with him?
And that's where the driverexplained what was going on and
(23:05):
he discovered that we all growold.
It was a pretty shockingexperience for him, and so he
retreated back into the palace.
Then on day two he went onanother ride and he saw his
first sick man, someone whosebody was contorted by disease.
So he asked well, what's goingon with that person?
And the driver explained that,well, people get sick.
That's what happens.
So, shocked, he returned back tothe palace.
(23:26):
And then on day three he sawhis first corpse and he told the
driver.
He's like look, I'm done.
He found out that we die and sohe's like look, let's turn
around and go back to the palace.
And he said this this is notime for pleasure excursions.
So he ended up going back tothe palace.
He left his wife, he left theharem and he left his future as
the king, and he just went offinto the forest and began his
(23:47):
journey to enlightenment.
And he reached that state.
And here's what he taught afterreaching enlightenment he said
life is suffering and the onlyway to escape suffering is by
breaking attachments that bindus to pleasure, achievement,
reputation and life.
James (24:02):
So basically just an acceptance that life is
suffering.
Todd (24:06):
Right.
But then Jonathan Haidt asks avery profound question in the
book.
He said this what would havehappened if the young prince
Siddhartha had actuallydescended from his gilded
chariot and talked to the peoplehe assumed were so miserable?
What if he actually talked tothe poor, the elderly, the
crippled and the sick?
Now, buddha just assumed theywere also miserable, and there's
(24:31):
actually a psychologist namedRobert Biswas Diener.
He actually researched thosepeople that are less fortunate
and he did a study on sexworkers in the slums of Calcutta
.
Now in India, prostitution islegal.
It's just regarded as anecessary evil.
Some people have to resort tothat.
Now we're talking aboutextremely poor people in the
lower caste who have no otherchoice.
(24:52):
Now they live in squalor.
But here's what Robertdiscovered they have close
friends that they spend a lot oftime with.
Interestingly enough, most ofthe prostitutes stay in touch
with their family and theirfamilies know what their
employment is, and in surveysthey actually reported being
more satisfied with their livesthan dissatisfied.
So the psychologist'sconclusions were this Look, poor
(25:14):
people in Calcutta.
They don't lead lives that wewould envy, but they do lead
meaningful lives Because they'recapitalizing on non-material
resources available to them andthey do find satisfaction
available to them.
And they do find satisfaction.
So Jonathan Haidt's conclusionis Buddha, he might have pitied
(25:35):
them, but their lives areactually much better from the
inside than what we see from theoutside.
Now here's a disclaimer.
I'm not saying thatprostitution is okay.
It's a horrible situation andit exploits people.
But the point I'm making hereis that religious people often
look down on the less fortunateand make assumptions about them.
James (25:50):
Yes, with religion, we often forget about relationships
and intangibles that bringmeaning to our lives.
Todd (25:56):
Yes, the relationships, the connections, meaningful
pursuits.
They actually help usexperience joy, even in bad
circumstances.
What are our takeaways here Now?
The ancient philosophers?
They taught that happiness canonly be found within.
We have to break attachments toexternal things and we have to
cultivate an attitude ofacceptance.
(26:16):
But a philosopher named RobertSolomon.
He actually disagreed with theEastern philosophy of
non-attachment, and this is theinteresting part for me.
He said non-attachment isactually an affront to human
nature.
And why is that?
He pointed to reflection andemotional indifference of the
Greek and Roman philosophers andthis calm, non-striving for
(26:38):
anything that was advocated byBuddha.
And he concluded that thosephilosophies, they identify
lives that are just destined toavoid passion.
And he said look, a lifewithout passion it's not human
life.
And we have to come back andrealize that.
Look, while attachments dobring pain, they also bring our
greatest joys.
Taking it back to Solomon'sfinal analysis pursuing
(27:01):
happiness it's like trying tocatch the wind.
You can't do it.
We should strive foraccomplishments and enjoy them
for sure, but more importantly,we should be passionate about
our attachment to God and thepeople around us.
So the key word here isrelationships, and I think that
is where religion, whether it'sChristianity, any religion we
(27:23):
have a tendency to forget aboutthe relationships, the things
that actually bring meaningfulexistence.
So ask yourself, what worthypurpose can you dedicate
yourself to Now?
I invite you to check out thelinks in the description If you
want to pick up the books wecover on the podcast.
They'll be there.
We're an Amazon partner, so wedo earn from these purchases at
(27:44):
no extra cost to you.
So thanks so much for joiningand, james, enjoy the chat man.
James (27:50):
Yeah, very, very insightful.
Appreciate it.
Thanks for our listeners.
We look forward to seeing y'allnext time.
Todd (27:56):
Have a great day, bye.
This is the Cluttered Path , a compass for midlife.
We put happiness on a pedestalas some sort of ultimate goal in
life.
The pursuit of happiness isactually enshrined in the US
Constitution.
(00:20):
But what if chasing happinessis actually a trap?
The thing is, happiness comesand goes, so we need to ask
ourselves whether there'ssomething deeper and more
meaningful to aim for.
So today we're asking thequestion about the pursuit of
happiness.
Is it a bad idea or a worthygoal?
My name's Todd and I'm herewith James.
Hi, james, good morning.
James (00:39):
Todd, hope you're well.
Todd (00:40):
Let's start with a story about King Solomon.
He lived about 3,000 years agoand he became king of Israel
after his father, king David,died.
And the interesting thing hereis he was maybe 24 years old at
the time, so he was very youngSolomon.
He was very pious, he loved Godand he worshipped him.
So God appeared to Solomon in adream one night and he said hey
, solomon, ask what you wantfrom me.
(01:03):
And out of humility, solomoncame back with this.
He said look, you've made meking, although I'm just a little
child.
Give me an understanding mindto govern your people, that I
may discern between good andevil.
And that actually pleased God.
And he said look, because youasked this and did not ask for
riches or long life, I'm goingto give you that wise and
discerning mind so that nobodylike you has been before you and
(01:25):
nobody after is going to belike you.
I'm going to give you what youask for, but I'm also going to
give you riches and honor, so noother king is going to be able
to compare with you.
James (01:35):
Wow yeah.
So that's not what I wouldexpect a 24 year old to ask for
himself.
Nope.
Todd (01:42):
If God were to appear to me and ask that question, I'd be
like, yeah, you know God, I'dput on a pious face and go.
You know God, make me rich so Ican do good things for other
people.
I always couch my greed incharitable terms to make it feel
better.
But Solomon it's interestingthat he's only 24 and he was
(02:04):
already wise beyond his yearsbecause of his ask of God.
Now, solomon, he did become awise man and his gift of wisdom
was legendary.
He became a prolific writer, apoet and a scientist.
He ended up writing over 3,000proverbs and 1,000 songs.
He produced scientific manuals.
He spent time describing nature, plants and animals, so he
(02:27):
became known as the wisest manon earth.
Now, hearing the stories, therewas a queen at the time, the
Queen of Sheba.
She'd heard the legend ofSolomon, so she paid him a visit
.
Now she was a ruler in what ismodern day Yemen.
She was very wealthy worthabout a billion dollars in
today's dollars and she visitedJerusalem to see for herself and
the scene was just too much forher to take in and the story
(02:49):
says that her breath was justtaken away and she said look, I
heard in my own land of yourwords and your wisdom.
So I came to see for myself.
But they didn't even tell methe half of it, and your people
are happy.
James (03:02):
Yeah, it's very interesting.
More often than not, today'sstate's officials visits to
other countries are like anon-event Right.
Todd (03:09):
And this state of visit.
It was a colossal event.
So he was very wise.
But Solomon's wealth was alsolegendary.
I mean he had massive revenuestreams coming in.
There was just the incoming ofgold that he amassed.
It was like 50,000 pounds ofgold per year, so that's like
$2.3 billion of gold coming in.
They also collected tribute andtaxes from countries that
(03:32):
Israel ruled.
So Solomon's wealth was soimmense that silver was just
regarded as gravel, just commonas stones.
And if we want to compareSolomon's wealth to the world's
richest people, there is aForbes list of richest people
out there and Elon Musk is atthe top.
He's worth $442 billion, butKing Solomon's net worth in
(03:53):
today's dollars $2.1 trillion.
So that's about five times thewealth of Elon Musk.
Wow.
James (03:59):
Yeah, I can't fathom that that's such immense wealth.
Todd (04:03):
Yes, Now Solomon.
This is the classic story ofthe most talented human being
who achieved more success thananyone in human history.
And we'll hear more aboutSolomon as we go, but today
we're discussing topics from abook called the Happiness
Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.
If you'd like to pick up a copyof the book, check out the link
in the episode description.
As an Amazon partner, ourpodcast earns from qualified
(04:30):
purchases at no extra cost toyou, so help us pay the bills.
James (04:31):
If you'd like to pick up a copy of the book, yeah, we'd
appreciate that.
The burning question is whethersuccess brought Solomon joy and
satisfaction in life.
Todd (04:38):
The very first lesson we can take from King Solomon is
this External fulfillment.
It's an illusion.
So Solomon's reflections on hisown life as an older man.
They're very helpful for ustoday, in the book of
Ecclesiastes.
Here are his words.
I mean he spent time in hislife pursuing any and all
avenues of success and happiness.
He pursued power first andforemost.
(04:59):
He said look, I'm a preacherand I've been king over Israel.
And when it comes to wisdom, hesaid, look, I applied my heart
to know wisdom and to knowmadness and folly, but with
power and wisdom.
He just concluded this.
He said look, if you got a lotof wisdom, it deprives you of
peace and tranquility.
James (05:15):
With increased knowledge comes increased sorrow, yeah,
and I just want to add here thatthat rings so true with me
today.
Todd (05:30):
It's like I gave up news a few weeks ago and I feel so
much better for it oh right, Ican't watch the news, man.
So he pursued that man, powerand wisdom, and after, at the
end of his life, he's just likehey, it's just robbed me of my
peace and I'm just gave mesorrow.
But then he also pursuedpleasures, and he said this.
He said I know what I'll pursuepleasures.
So, Solomon, enjoy yourself.
So he searched out ways tocheer up himself with wine and
(05:53):
he built houses and vineyards,parks and gardens for his own
enjoyment.
But with regards to that, hejust concluded look, laughter is
just madness.
Pleasure, it's of no use.
And that's why we can'tfantasize.
We fantasize about retiring andlaying on a beach somewhere,
just relaxing for the rest ofour days.
We can't do that becausepleasure, it's limited in its
ability to please us, right?
So then he threw himself intowork and he said look, I
considered all the work I'd doneand all the toil I expended
(06:17):
doing it.
But with that he just concludedlook, I just hated all my work,
seeing that I'm going to do allthis work and I'm just going to
leave everything to somebodyelse.
That person may be wise, orthey may be a fool.
So his final conclusions,looking back on his life, he
just said look the wise personthey died just like the fool.
It's all vanity and strivingafter wind.
So there's just nothing to begained from these pursuits.
James (06:40):
So Solomon had everything power, pleasure and wealth but
he still felt empty.
Todd (06:46):
Yes, and we now have scientific research that tells
us why.
Now, from the book, researchpoints us to what scientists
call the adaptation principle.
And if you think about yourbest and worst experience in
life, maybe your best experiencecould be you're a startup
founder that sells your companyone day for $100 million.
So in a moment all your dreamscome true.
(07:07):
You get an insane amount ofwealth coming in and it does
change your life forever.
That's the best experience.
Now what about the worstexperience?
Let's say you have a horribleaccident, you're hit by a bus
and you become a paraplegic.
You wake up in the hospital andthe doc's like look, you're
never going to walk again.
So naturally you're going toinitially be in this horrible
pit of despair because yourlife's changed forever in that
(07:29):
scenario too.
But here's what the adaptationprinciple says Whatever happens
to us in life, good or bad,we're going to adapt to that new
circumstance and return to abaseline state of happiness.
So whether you become aparaplegic or if you're a
startup founder, billionaire,you're going to have some level
of happiness down the road andyou're going to return to a
(07:50):
baseline.
That is quite interesting, yeah, and it makes me think of the
story of Lex Luger.
He was a pro wrestler, famousback in the 80s, 90s, whatnot,
but he was also a former NFLfootball player.
He was 6'6 and 275 pounds, athis peak Now.
During his athletic career hehad bone spurs that formed on
his neck and on a long flight hewas sitting there talking to
(08:13):
someone on a transcontinentalflight and so just in there for
a long time he was sitting therewith his neck cranked to one
side talking to someone next tohim and his neck started to hurt
.
So then he landed, went to thehotel and they just went to bed
and overnight there was swellingthat took place and he awoke
the next morning completelyparalyzed, from the chest down.
He could move his arms, but hecouldn't do anything else.
(08:35):
He laid there in a panic and hejust sat there screaming,
trying to get someone to comehelp him.
Now, years later, he was apatient at the Shepherd Center
in Atlanta and I actually hadlunch with Lex Luger
Interestingly enough, it wasjust the two of us and we just
sat there eating cafeteria foodand he told me his life story.
He was sitting there in amotorized wheelchair and I'm
(08:55):
sitting across from him and hislimbs were a bit twisted, a
little bit because of the nervedamage, but he was still a
massive human being.
I was just sitting therelooking at his thighs, like this
guy is huge, and I felt like achild sitting across from him.
But here's what he said abouthis paralysis he's like look,
todd, as a pro wrestler,football player, whatever, I had
success and I had all thismoney, I had Porsches, I had big
(09:19):
houses, he said.
But I was surrounded by peoplethat were just users, losers and
abusers.
That's what he called them.
It was just people that wantedsomething from him.
But after the paralysis he saidthis he's like look, I've got
friends now for the first timein my life.
James (09:33):
Yeah, lex found a good perspective on bad circumstances
.
Yes, he did yeah.
Todd (09:39):
Wow.
So King Solomon adapted to hiswealthy lifestyle, and then Lex
Luger adapted to his paralysis.
So, lex, his story.
He goes from extreme wealth andall the advantages in life and
living in luxury to paralysisand poverty.
Now, at first I felt sorry forhim, but as I sat there talking
to him, the guy really motivatedme, because he pepped me up
(10:01):
from his wheelchair, no less.
So that's the adaptationprinciple.
Now what about ouraccomplishments?
And thinking about King Solomon, scientists talk about the
progress principle when it comesto our accomplishments, and
what this means is when youachieve something, the enjoyment
is usually limited or evennon-existent.
Now why is that?
It's because our minds givepriority to anticipation over
(10:23):
the actual achievement.
So your achievements could be.
For myself, I mean, I graduatedboot camp from the Marines.
It was actually a surrealexperience.
I wasn't euphoric, I was justtired, I was just ready to go
home.
I ended up sleeping for likethree hours after that.
I was just tired, I was justready to go home.
I ended up sleeping for likethree hours after that.
Also, graduating from college,that was kind of a letdown
because it's like okay, now Igot to get to work, what next?
(10:50):
So the joy.
It ended up being in the dailygrind and looking forward to
accomplishing the goal.
And so the author's takeJonathan Haidt.
He said this aboutaccomplishments.
He said look, when it comes togoal pursuit, it really is the
journey that counts, not thedestination, the final moment of
success.
It's often no more thrillingthan the relief of taking off a
heavy backpack at the end of along hike.
So the takeaway here is whetherwe have good or bad
(11:12):
circumstances in life, theyreally don't matter that much
long term.
And Solomon's conclusion waslook, success, it's all vanity.
Chasing after win, it's justmeaningless.
And today we've got thatscientific research showing us
why.
The adaptation principle andthe progress principle, wow so
the message sounds pretty bleak.
James (11:30):
How about some data that paints a slightly happier?
Todd (11:35):
Right.
If we stop there, I couldeasily turn into a nihilist
thinking that nothing matters,so why bother?
And then the words of the DaveMatthews song eat, drink and be
merry, because tomorrow we die.
We don't stop there, though.
Here's some good news there isan actual scientific formula for
happiness.
But let's start by definingwhat we mean by happiness.
(11:55):
Looking at the word happiness,we're talking about a feeling or
some state of well-being andcontentment.
You could also say satisfactionin life, or even joy, and
there's a book called AuthenticHappiness, written by a fellow
named Martin Seligman, and heactually came up with a formula
for happiness and it goes likethis H equals S plus C plus V.
(12:15):
So our happiness, here's theformula S, that's our biological
set point.
This means we have a geneticpredisposition towards happiness
or unhappiness.
This is the part of us that wecannot change, and that's why
some people you encounterthey're kind of miserable to be
around.
Maybe they're sorry, sad sacks,but others seem happy and
bubbly and they can be annoyingtoo.
(12:37):
But that's our geneticpredisposition.
And you know what, in theformula, that accounts for 50%
of our happiness state.
So that's the S part.
So the C in the equation,that's our circumstances.
These are life circumstanceswhere external factors
contribute to our happiness andthe interesting part here is
they only account for about 10%of our baseline happiness level.
(12:59):
And now the V, h equals S plusC plus V.
The V, that is our voluntaryaction.
These are activities that arewithin our control and they
account for 40% of our happiness.
So biological set point out ofour control, just part of our
personality.
It puts us somewhere on aspectrum of positive or negative
outlook Circumstances.
(13:20):
They have the least influence,but voluntary actions they put
us in a better place on thehappiness scale.
James (13:27):
Interesting.
Yeah, I would have thoughtcircumstances would have had a
much larger influence on that.
Todd (13:32):
Same for me, and the book does cover circumstances along
with things you can do toimprove your situation.
Now we don't have enough timeto dig into that subject, but
the book is packed with tons ofinfo, so I highly recommend it.
James (13:44):
So this is a good reminder that your own state of
mind is your own responsibility.
Todd (13:49):
Yes, I totally agree, and we do have a responsibility here
, even if it means getting helpfrom others, and let's dig more
into that subject.
Let's talk about the voluntaryactions that bring us joy.
Now there's power in that Vcomponent of the happiness
equation.
But the author gives a warning.
He's like look, not all actionsare beneficial.
So if you're out there chasingknowledge, wealth, power and
(14:12):
pleasures, those are notnecessarily beneficial.
Sex and food they're good, buttoo much of it can leave us
feeling disgusted with ourselves.
And also conspicuousconsumption.
If we're going out and buying aLambo and things like that,
we're prioritizing things overpeople.
That's not beneficial and alsopursuing these wrong activities
that can lead to mental andphysical health issues.
(14:34):
So just be aware of that.
So let's talk about thebeneficial actions as part of
that V component of thehappiness equation.
Let's start with the benefits ofinternal mental work.
Now you can start out your daydoing breathing exercises that
calm your mind.
In the middle of the day, whenyou're stressed, you can spend
five minutes doing box breathingexercises.
(14:55):
We won't get into that today,but doing breathing exercises
that calm your heart rate andget you just at peace.
There's also daily meditativepractices that can help you see
beyond immediate stressors andthen doing things like gratitude
journaling we talked about inthe past, and also cognitive
reframing.
Now, that's a psychologicaltechnique that you can use to
(15:16):
identify your negative view oflife situations, your negative
view of your experiences,negative view of events and
ideas.
You have to identify this is apretty negative view and then
you follow a process tochallenge your perspective on
that issue and that's how youchange it.
And doing cognitive reframingis one method that we can use to
rewire the neural networkinside of our heads.
(15:39):
That's a beneficial activity.
So that's internal mental work.
Now, what about inconspicuousspending?
The author talked about this.
He said you should spend moneyon experiences rather than
things.
Experiences they're shared withothers and they help create
connection.
Shared with others and theyhelp create connection.
So stop trying to keep up withthe Joneses by buying expensive
(16:00):
toys and spend your money onfamily time, vacations and other
activities that bond you withother people.
James (16:06):
That's why money is not evil in and of itself.
Todd (16:09):
Right.
It's how we view money thatmatters and how we're using it
that really matters.
Now the author also talkedabout the benefits of getting
into what he called a flow state.
So that's a state of totalimmersion in a hard task that
matches up quite well to ourskills and abilities.
Now, many people enjoy thisstate more than sensual
(16:30):
pleasures, and some people callit being in the zone, but the
psychologists have settled onthe term flow, and when you're
in a flow state, it just feelslike effortless movement.
Flow happens and you just gowith it.
Now, getting more details onthis, it often occurs with
physical activity things likeskiing, driving a fast car,
playing team sports, stuff likethat.
It's also aided by the actionsof other people around you of
(16:53):
other people around you.
So if you're singing in a choirI don't know if you've ever
done that, but singing in achoir, in harmony with others
around you, you can reach a flowstate and it just feels so good
.
Dancing, reaching a flow statewith your dance partner, or
simply getting into a deepconversation.
So these are actions of othersaround you that help you get
into a flow state.
(17:13):
Now there's also soloactivities in a creative sense
that you can pursue to help youget the flow state.
So if you're an artist, maybeyou're painting a picture or
maybe you're writing or even aphotographer so these creative
activities you can get yourselfinto a flow state where it just
feels effortless and you'reaccomplishing things.
Then it comes to spiritualmatters.
This is where we're studying totransform the mind.
(17:34):
You're spending time inmeditation or prayer on, maybe,
the tenets of your faith.
You also want to spend timetrying to align behaviors with
beliefs.
Nobody wants to be a hypocrite.
You also want to identifycharacter flaws and say, hey,
here are areas where I need toimprove.
And then just general spiritualgrowth Prayer and meditation
can help with that.
And then, along the lines ofspiritual activity serving
(17:56):
others, you can reach a flowstate doing that.
But here are the keys to flowit has to be something worthy of
pursuing, there has to be achallenge involved and it has to
fully engage your attention.
You have to possess skills tomeet the challenge.
So I'm not going to reach flowstate if I go out on an NFL
practice field and start tryingto play with those guys.
I don't have the skills for that, so I need to possess skills
(18:20):
that match the challenge.
And what happens in flow stateis you're getting immediate
feedback on how you're doing ateach step, and that aligns with
the progress principle, where weget satisfaction out of that.
So you get this flash afterflash of positive emotion during
an activity in flow state.
James (18:37):
I think we can all relate to reaching flow state with
worthwhile activities.
Todd (18:41):
Flow state.
It's a good feeling.
It's like Neo in that movie,the Matrix you feel confident,
capable, unstoppable, and it'sthe opposite of that very common
nightmare where you're runningaway from a bad guy while
walking in mud.
Here's another worthwhileactivity.
The author recommends that wearrange our lives to find
(19:02):
balance between pleasures andgratifications.
Now let's talk about thedifference between those.
Now, pleasures, they're likesensual delights that spark
emotion in us Eating good food,having sex, back rubs, seeing a
beautiful sunset, standing thereenjoying a cool breeze.
So these are sensual thingsthat spark emotion in us.
(19:22):
But here's the thing there's nolasting benefit from those
activities.
You feel good in the moment,but there's nothing afterwards.
Now they're not bad, but toomuch sensual pleasure we end up
overdosing and deadeningourselves to future pleasure,
almost like a drug.
Gratifications, however, theseare much more fulfilling
activities.
So these are activities thatengage you fully.
(19:44):
They draw on your strengths andthey allow you to lose your
self-awareness, and they askmore of us.
We get challenged bygratifications and they make us
extend ourselves.
They often come fromaccomplishing something or
learning something or improvingsomething.
These gratifications areassociated with the flow state
where hard work becomeseffortless and we actually want
(20:07):
to exert ourselves more and moreso that we get better.
Now the author did a scientificexperiment with his students on
pleasures versus gratifications.
He assigned activities.
He said first thing I want youto do is indulge in a pleasure,
and specifically I want you totake a break and eat some ice
cream during the day and enjoyit.
Second, I want you to performthree gratifications.
(20:28):
I want you to attend a lecturethat you normally don't go to.
I want you to perform an act ofkindness for a friend who's
down.
I also want you to write downreasons you're grateful for
someone and then go tell themabout it.
And here are the results thekindness and gratitude
activities, the gratifications.
They left the students feelinggood the rest of the day or even
(20:48):
longer.
They experienced long-termbenefits from pursuing
gratifications.
The ice cream it was nice inthe moment, but no lasting
impact.
Once they finished the icecream, they just moved on.
James (20:59):
That don't make sense.
It seems like happiness issomething that we're
experiencing, but we don't getit directly.
Todd (21:06):
I know right.
I believe that we can enjoy asense of well-being and
contentment, but it's only abyproduct of pursuing other
pleasures.
James (21:15):
Yeah, devoting our time and energy to worthwhile
pursuits and relationships.
So where does religion factorinto all that?
Todd (21:24):
Yeah, this is a biggie.
So in his research forHappiness Hypothesis, jonathan
Haidt, he studied the life ofBuddha and he initially thought
that Buddha would provide us thebest example of how to live our
lives.
But he was surprised.
Now he was taken in and he wasallured by the teachings on the
futility of striving.
That sounds good and thinkingabout the promise of inner
(21:47):
tranquility from reachingenlightenment.
That was great.
But he discovered something.
He began to think Buddhismmight be based on an
overreaction or maybe even anerror.
James (21:58):
Interesting An overreaction.
So what does that mean?
Todd (22:00):
He went into the life of Buddha.
So who was Buddha?
He was born Siddhartha Gautama.
Hope I'm not butchering thepronunciation, but he was born a
king in northern India and hisdad had heard some prophecy
somewhere that his son wouldturn his back on the kingdom.
So his dad ended up lavishinghim with sensual pleasures
because he wanted to prevent himfrom seeing anything that might
(22:23):
be disturbing.
So Siddhartha ended up beingmarried to a beautiful princess
and he was surrounded by a haremof women.
But he grew bored with it all.
Now, that's the adaptationprinciple in practice.
He was just accustomed to it.
It was there, the luxury, thewomen, and he became curious
about the outside world.
So he ended up taking a chariotride over three days.
(22:44):
So day one he was going out on achariot ride and the dad, the
king, he ordered all the sickand crippled people to be taken
inside because he didn't wanthis son to see them.
But despite his best efforts,they encountered an old man
along the way and Siddharth sawhim and he says, okay, well,
what's going on with this dude?
What's wrong with him?
And that's where the driverexplained what was going on and
(23:05):
he discovered that we all growold.
It was a pretty shockingexperience for him, and so he
retreated back into the palace.
Then on day two he went onanother ride and he saw his
first sick man, someone whosebody was contorted by disease.
So he asked well, what's goingon with that person?
And the driver explained that,well, people get sick.
That's what happens.
So, shocked, he returned back tothe palace.
(23:26):
And then on day three he sawhis first corpse and he told the
driver.
He's like look, I'm done.
He found out that we die and sohe's like look, let's turn
around and go back to the palace.
And he said this this is notime for pleasure excursions.
So he ended up going back tothe palace.
He left his wife, he left theharem and he left his future as
the king, and he just went offinto the forest and began his
(23:47):
journey to enlightenment.
And he reached that state.
And here's what he taught afterreaching enlightenment he said
life is suffering and the onlyway to escape suffering is by
breaking attachments that bindus to pleasure, achievement,
reputation and life.
James (24:02):
So basically just an acceptance that life is
suffering.
Todd (24:06):
Right.
But then Jonathan Haidt asks avery profound question in the
book.
He said this what would havehappened if the young prince
Siddhartha had actuallydescended from his gilded
chariot and talked to the peoplehe assumed were so miserable?
What if he actually talked tothe poor, the elderly, the
crippled and the sick?
Now, buddha just assumed theywere also miserable, and there's
(24:31):
actually a psychologist namedRobert Biswas Diener.
He actually researched thosepeople that are less fortunate
and he did a study on sexworkers in the slums of Calcutta
.
Now in India, prostitution islegal.
It's just regarded as anecessary evil.
Some people have to resort tothat.
Now we're talking aboutextremely poor people in the
lower caste who have no otherchoice.
(24:52):
Now they live in squalor.
But here's what Robertdiscovered they have close
friends that they spend a lot oftime with.
Interestingly enough, most ofthe prostitutes stay in touch
with their family and theirfamilies know what their
employment is, and in surveysthey actually reported being
more satisfied with their livesthan dissatisfied.
So the psychologist'sconclusions were this Look, poor
(25:14):
people in Calcutta.
They don't lead lives that wewould envy, but they do lead
meaningful lives Because they'recapitalizing on non-material
resources available to them andthey do find satisfaction
available to them.
And they do find satisfaction.
So Jonathan Haidt's conclusionis Buddha, he might have pitied
(25:35):
them, but their lives areactually much better from the
inside than what we see from theoutside.
Now here's a disclaimer.
I'm not saying thatprostitution is okay.
It's a horrible situation andit exploits people.
But the point I'm making hereis that religious people often
look down on the less fortunateand make assumptions about them.
James (25:50):
Yes, with religion, we often forget about relationships
and intangibles that bringmeaning to our lives.
Todd (25:56):
Yes, the relationships, the connections, meaningful
pursuits.
They actually help usexperience joy, even in bad
circumstances.
What are our takeaways here Now?
The ancient philosophers?
They taught that happiness canonly be found within.
We have to break attachments toexternal things and we have to
cultivate an attitude ofacceptance.
(26:16):
But a philosopher named RobertSolomon.
He actually disagreed with theEastern philosophy of
non-attachment, and this is theinteresting part for me.
He said non-attachment isactually an affront to human
nature.
And why is that?
He pointed to reflection andemotional indifference of the
Greek and Roman philosophers andthis calm, non-striving for
(26:38):
anything that was advocated byBuddha.
And he concluded that thosephilosophies, they identify
lives that are just destined toavoid passion.
And he said look, a lifewithout passion it's not human
life.
And we have to come back andrealize that.
Look, while attachments dobring pain, they also bring our
greatest joys.
Taking it back to Solomon'sfinal analysis pursuing
(27:01):
happiness it's like trying tocatch the wind.
You can't do it.
We should strive foraccomplishments and enjoy them
for sure, but more importantly,we should be passionate about
our attachment to God and thepeople around us.
So the key word here isrelationships, and I think that
is where religion, whether it'sChristianity, any religion we
(27:23):
have a tendency to forget aboutthe relationships, the things
that actually bring meaningfulexistence.
So ask yourself, what worthypurpose can you dedicate
yourself to Now?
I invite you to check out thelinks in the description If you
want to pick up the books wecover on the podcast.
They'll be there.
We're an Amazon partner, so wedo earn from these purchases at
(27:44):
no extra cost to you.
So thanks so much for joiningand, james, enjoy the chat man.
James (27:50):
Yeah, very, very insightful.
Appreciate it.
Thanks for our listeners.
We look forward to seeing y'allnext time.
Todd (27:56):
Have a great day, bye.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.