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October 10, 2025 158 mins

When did I first meet your father? Ah Jesus, great question. Let's see.

Johnny Banks wasn't really a fixture of the scene as much as he was a nuisance. I used to play in a band back in the day. I even dropped out of school to pursue it, had to get my GED later. Don't drop out to join a band, by the way. Odds are rigged against you. Anyway you've seen those pictures of me in those jeans. We called ourselves The Screwdrivers, we thought we were punks, we thought it was cool. Played a lot of local shows, didn't ever get a record down but we got some EPs together. We were down in the scene and so was Johnny Banks.

Your father, god bless him, used to have the dumbest hair I seen on a man. It was cute. He tried to do the liberty spikes, but never really put enough product in, and had half his head shaved. He looked like a palm tree. He hung around at shows and parties, this beanpole guy in an old army jacket and stompers and chains. Everyone thought he was there to score heroin or screw high school girls, so they gave him a wide berth. He wasn't confident in himself so he'd just stand and loom all quiet.

I didn't meet him properly at a party. I met him at work. I did graveyard at a convenience store. He shuffles in one day, jacket too big, hair all floppy, asks me for smokes. There was this nervous energy and then, suddenly in this shotgun blast of words, he says to me:

"I really like your band. I think you've got some good songs. I have questions about your lyrics. I think you tuned your bass wrong. Can I help you tune it properly?"

I told him to get lost. The next day he showed back up with a tuner. I said "where did you get this?" He smiled wide and said "don't worry about it."

And that's the first present your father ever gave me.

https://thecoffin.club

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