September 27, 2023 • 45 mins
Dr. Tara Pixley is a visual journalist, strategic storytelling consultant, and professor renowned for reshaping visual narratives and championing diversity. Dr. Pixley's dedication to her work extends beyond the classroom - she's a mother who courageously moved across the country with her young children to pursue grad school, making her an embodiment of determination and resilience. She offers a real-world perspective on managing family and academic life, proving it's possible to thrive in both spheres.
Our candid talk with Dr. Pixley illuminates her educational journey, highlighting the exhilarating opportunities that opened up with her Ph.D. She guides us through the peaks and valleys of her academic career, discussing the nurturing environment graduate housing provided for her children, her burgeoning interest in superhero journalism that sparked her photojournalism career, and her triumphant transition to journalism education. Her experiences with challenging hierarchies and overcoming expectations in academia offer invaluable insights and stirring inspiration.
Not only does Dr. Pixley share her journey in academia, but she also uncovers how she uses her work as a platform for change, crafting narratives that reflect the experiences of marginalized communities. Her unwavering commitment to making journalism education accessible to women and people of color is inspiring. As we talk about her future plans, the importance of education, and her passion for her work, the joy she finds in adversity shines through. Listen to this compelling exploration into the life and work of a woman using her influence to effect lasting change.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ijeoma Kola (00:03):
Welcome to another enlightening episode of the
Cohort SysSys podcast, where wegive voice to the stories,
struggles and successes of Blackwomen and non-binary folks with
doctoral degrees.
I'm your host, dr JohnMcCollough, and today I'd like
to introduce Dr Tara Pixley.
With an MFA in Photography anda PhD in Communication, she's a
(00:23):
visual journalist, strategicstorytelling consultant and
esteemed professor with over twodecades of media production and
editorial experience.
As a queer, first-generationJamaican American raised in the
Southeast US, she's deeplycommitted to reshaping visual
narratives around themes likeimmigration, blackness, lgbtq
(00:45):
plus communities and the globalSouth.
Her work challengesconventional portrayals of
gender, race, class andsexuality in photography, both
in her personal projects andscholarly pursuits.
She's a 2022 Pulitzer CenterDiversify Photo-I-Witness Photo
Journalism Grant recipient,focusing on the pressing
(01:06):
environmental justice issue ofLA urban oil production.
She's also a 2022-2023 ReynoldsJournalism Institute fellow,
working on a project calledSource of Safety, which
addresses identity-aware safetyresources for visual journalists
.
If that wasn't enough, she'salso a founding member and
executive director of AuthorityCollective, championing
(01:29):
inclusivity and transformativeprojects in the realm of visual
media.
So much going on.
Welcome, dr Pixley, to thepodcast.
Tara Pixley (01:38):
Thank you so much for having me and thank you for
the lovely opening.
Ijeoma Kola (01:44):
You're welcome.
I mean, you do so much.
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself.
We know you are JamaicanAmerican.
We know you grew up in theSoutheast.
What else should we know aboutyou?
Who is Dr Pixley, outside ofher amazing bio and all of her
wonderful accomplishments?
Tara Pixley (02:02):
Oh my gosh.
Well, thank you so much againfor having me and for creating
this space so wonderful.
I don't know, I think, if Iwere going to say one thing that
is really integral to who I amas a person that is not in my
bio, it's that I had childrenvery young.
I had my son two weeks after Igraduated undergrad.
(02:22):
I was at Florida A&M Universitygetting my bachelor's in
philosophy and journalism, andit was certainly an unplanned
early parenthood, but I thinkthat that had so much impact on
who I became and my work ethicand just my relationship to the
(02:44):
world.
And so my two children my sonis now 17, kate and Noble, and
my daughter is 13, bryn and thetwo of them are wonderful little
human beings and they reallyinform so much of my work and
they've been such amazing roledogs.
Just like you know, I'm likemommy's going to grad school and
(03:05):
they're like, okay, we need topack up the car and drive across
the country from Atlanta to SanDiego when they are two and six
years old and start a life veryfar away from all of our family
.
And so that, being in gradschool, my doctoral program,
(03:26):
without really any family orfriends network that we had in
existence.
We built a new one.
That was really incredible inSouthern California.
But just having that shift inmy perspective and my
relationship to people in spacethroughout my career has really
informed so much of the workthat I do, and I think I'm
(03:49):
really really lucky to be ableto move through these different
spaces.
I didn't really understand whenI was starting in my doctoral
program that academia is its ownprofession.
I was a first generation collegestudent.
No one in my family understoodwhat it was to get a PhD really,
you know, neither.
(04:09):
My mom didn't even go to highschool.
My father didn't finish his,you know, didn't go beyond high
school, and so everyone valuededucation a lot, but we did not
have a frame of reference for adoctoral program and I wanted to
get my PhD, as I said, to beundeniable.
(04:30):
I didn't want to give anyone areason to say I didn't have the
credentials to do X, y and Z.
So I'm actually thinking aboutgetting an MBA in a lot of
degree now and just like, whatis the next level of what else
do I need to do to make surethese people can't tell me no
and that I can speak fromexperience and expertise.
Yeah, so very, very long-windedanswer, but I think those are
(04:55):
the things that have reallyinformed who I am as a person is
being a young parent andworking through a lot of
different spaces of journalismand academia and now consulting,
also doing equity work andworking in the nonprofit space.
Ijeoma Kola (05:12):
Yeah, okay, I have, ah, trying to decide which
direction I want to go intobecause I have two like
different lines of questionsthat I want to ask.
I'm going to ask one andhopefully I can remember to get
back to the other one.
So I believe and if someone islistening, a past guest is
listening and I'm completelywrong, my bad, but I believe
that you're one of the firstguests on the podcast who has
(05:32):
shared that they startedgraduate school with very young
children who also made a moveacross the country.
I think oftentimes, when folksare talking about you know where
to go to grad school.
We actually just had a workshopearlier this week where our
speaker was telling us, like youknow, your advisors might tell
you, apply everywhere, goeverywhere, but like that's not
(05:53):
necessarily the reality forblack folks.
But then also, I think, thiselement of moving, the moving
that is so commonly associatedwith an academic life, whether
it is moving for grad school ormoving for an academic job, or
moving after three years if youdon't like that place, or moving
for tenure, you know, whateverit is, that kind of instability
(06:13):
is often often clashes withhaving a family and no family
stability.
So I would love if you couldjust speak a little bit more to
the decision to move crosscountry.
Could you explore anyinstitutions on the East Coast
where you and your family werebefore you came to California?
Just what was that transitionlike?
(06:35):
I feel like it's one thing tomove yourself across the country
.
It's another thing to moveyourself and little children.
So I just left to know a littlebit more about that.
Tara Pixley (06:43):
You know, honestly, I'll tell you my story of then
and then also my story of now,because I have a moving story
that's like kind of unfoldingright now, related to my career
in academia, and I will say it'smuch easier to move younger
children than it is to moveolder children.
When, when I was taking my myson that he had just finished
(07:04):
kindergarten and my daughter wasin this- really wonderful
preschool that we loved, but itwasn't.
it wasn't this big big deal tomove them.
You know they were so youngthat they're I want to.
We talked to my son.
He said, kaden, are you worriedabout anything?
Are you sad to leave yourfriends?
And he said I'll make newfriends.
(07:25):
You know that's him at sixyears old and it's true.
We made new friends immediately.
All of us did, and so inretrospect you know that it
wasn't as emotionally andstrategically difficult as as
now, which I'll get to in asecond.
And I think something that'simportant is I didn't have a lot
(07:47):
of family help with raising mykids, so it wasn't like I was
leaving like this great network.
And because I was a young parent.
I didn't have other youngparents or I didn't have other
parents around me, like I wasthe only one of my friends that
had children.
So I actually moved to a moresupportive community where there
were other parents when I wentinto grad school in San Diego
(08:11):
because I was moving intograduate housing that was geared
towards families, and so weactually went from having very,
very little support for raisingtwo young children to having a
ton of support and being in thisvibrant, beautiful community of
people of all ages withchildren of all ages, and our
(08:32):
kids grew up together over thosesix years of grad school.
It was really amazing and I hadthen we had a very different
experience when I got my jobafter grad school and my kids
were about 10 or 11 or 12 andeight or nine, something like
(08:53):
that, and their dad and I wereno longer together.
But we're very friendly andcollaborative co-parents and so
when I moved to LA, we had tomake the decision of are the
kids going to move with me orare they going to stay with him,
and we had a lot of logisticaldifficulty there and then they
ended up moving with me in LAand now I got a job as a
(09:18):
professor at Temple and I'll bestarting in Temple this semester
, actually next weekCongratulations.
Thank you.
I'm very excited, but thatintroduced a lot of logistical
difficulty because now mychildren are my sons going to
senior year of high school, mydaughter's going to her last
year of middle school.
They have their friends hereand even though I don't have any
(09:40):
family or and I have way lesssupport now, everyone move their
separate ways after grad schooland LA is not not the easiest
place to make friends or parentfriends.
So I don't.
I am in that space again whereI'm like I don't have a network
here.
But I have to make a choice forthe kids and so I actually
(10:01):
negotiated to stay two yearslonger in LA and to move to
Temple to Philly after my songraduated high school, because I
just couldn't, for me, itwasn't ethical for me to choose
my career over his career andhe's in a point where he needed
(10:22):
to make good choices about hisfootball career and where he
gets to go to college.
The last couple years of highschool and so important for you,
informative and the same for mydaughter.
You know, middle school is veryformative time and disrupting
their lives at that time.
For my own remove was not, itdidn't sit right with me.
Like I said, they've been myrole dogs this whole time.
They've always been like wesupport you, mom, we want you to
(10:45):
have what you need.
So that time I chose them inand it's been difficult but it
my university was like veryagreeable and is letting me
teach online.
So you know there's differentexperiences but I think
ultimately you have to make thechoice is best for you and your
family at that time and I alsothink it's really important to
(11:08):
be open to experiences likemoving across the country was
probably the best thing that Icould have done for me and my
children.
Ijeoma Kola (11:15):
And.
Tara Pixley (11:16):
I did look at sorry your other question.
I did look at universitiesaround me but I didn't get into
those or or they didn't give mea package that was feasible.
So I went to the universitythey wanted me and that happened
to be across the country.
Ijeoma Kola (11:30):
Nice.
Thanks so much for sharing thatperspective, especially around
moving with young kids versusmoving with older kids
Definitely something that I'mthinking a lot about.
I have young kids now thinkingabout like trajectory, so that's
that's really great context forme, and I know that there are
people who are probablylistening who might also have
kids thinking about going tograd school or currently in grad
(11:51):
school and thinking about thenext step.
So that's really really helpfulcontext I'm glad I remembered.
The second thing that I wantedto follow up on from your
opening thoughts was you saidsomething along the lines of
you're thinking about gettingadditional degrees so that
people can like won't say no,give you no reason to say no,
and I've always thought of thePhD as like the ultimate, like I
(12:15):
am an expert.
There is absolutely nothingthat that you can say to me
because I am an.
Those three letters give meenough credibility.
But to hear you say that you'rethinking about pursuing
additional degrees, notnecessarily for the learning
capacity and not to say thatthat isn't one of the reasons,
(12:36):
but you specifically called outlike for credibility and respect
.
So can you talk a little bitabout one, why you wanted to
pursue a PhD in the context ofcredibility, but two what it is
about being a black woman with aPhD that still wants to get
additional certifications inorder to continue to earn
respect in her field.
Tara Pixley (12:56):
Yeah, and you know, I would say it's not really
about respect, like I say thatkind of jokingly, like so that
no one can deny me, but yeah,really, it's about expertise and
access.
I decided to get a PhD becausethat was the highest level of
education and I valued education.
I was a good student, I lovepositive feedback from from
(13:18):
professors, right.
So I just was like I'm going tokeep that going.
That's what I think I'msupposed to do.
I did as I said.
I did not understand thatacademia was its own profession,
and so I'm thinking I'm goingto get my PhD studying
journalism so that I can be aprofessor of journalism, because
I'm a journalist and this iswhat I do.
(13:39):
I want to teach it as well.
I want to impact the future ofjournalism by impacting
journalism education, and I hada lot of critiques of journalism
education.
So if I have a problem withsomething, I have a rule I have
to go do something about it.
I can't complain aboutsomething that I'm not willing
to do something about.
So yeah, for me getting a PhDwas about, you know, just
(14:02):
getting access to being aprofessor.
And as I got an academia and Ilearned, wow, there's this whole
, there's this whole thing withits own conferences, and you
know I'm learning what this isand I was, I was really behind
because a lot of my, my fellow,you know, my classmates and my
cohort they even though many ofthem were also first and second
(14:22):
gen Americans, they had moreproximity to that level of
knowledge.
They had gone to the UC system.
So our ones were teaching themsomething very different than
what I was receiving in terms ofaccess and like access to
certain knowledges at an HBCU.
And I went to an art school formy MFA.
They weren't really preparingtheir MFA students to go on to
(14:46):
doctoral education.
You know they're preparing tobe an artist.
So, yeah, I had all of thesedifferent perspectives and
getting a PhD helped me get thisdifferent perspective on
academia and with that, like now, I'm in a position where, you
know, my PhD has gotten me, hasopened so many doors.
(15:06):
I do feel very respected andappreciated and validated in
many spaces that I wouldotherwise not have been
previously.
But there are things aboutsociety that I think are still,
you know, like having legalexpertise would be very
important and helpful for mycommunity, for my activism work,
(15:29):
for my students.
So that's something that I'minterested in just knowing more
about.
I have zero interest in being alawyer, I've never wanted to be
a lawyer, but having legalexpertise and that knowledge I
think would be incredibly useful.
So that's something I've beenthinking about.
I don't really want to go tolaw school but you know I'll
check it out.
I like logic.
And then the thing with thinkingabout business school.
(15:52):
Actually, the other day I'm, Isit on a board and we're doing a
CEO search and someonementioned to me like Tara, have
you thought about putting yourname in?
And no one had ever put me andCEO in the same sentence and I
was just thinking about likethat really threw me.
It was, you know, it was verygratifying and validating and
(16:15):
certainly appreciated.
And I was thinking aboutgrowing up.
My mom was in secretary for CFOof a big bank and I used to do
my homework sitting on therelike the highest floor in the
tallest building in Atlanta andthe tallest building south of
the Mason Dixon line, where allof these entirely white male
rooms, you know, of power, hadsomething that I I had no
(16:39):
connection mentally.
There's like no possibility inmy mind that I could be one of
those people.
I didn't even understand what apathway to that look like.
And so to actually have apowerful, wealthy white man
turned to me and say well, whatif you become the CEO?
I am, you know what if youapply, that was like
mind-blowing.
And so then I started looking atthe job description and I
(17:01):
realized I'm like I actuallycould do this job there, but
there are a couple things thatI'm not knowledgeable about and
they're primarily businessspecific things, and so that was
like well, how do I get thatexpertise and how do I be the
whole package that I would liketo be, so that if I am in a
position to have a CEO or someother C-suite role, that I can
(17:22):
hit the ground running and do anexcellent job?
And so I was then looking at,like you know, instead of maybe
a whole MBA I'm kind of tired orschool, but like also maxed out
on the student loans, you know,like business certificates and
from Wharton and things likethat so you know, it's not just
about respect.
I think it's about positioningyourself to have the knowledge
(17:44):
and expertise to do the thingsthat you want to do in the world
.
Ijeoma Kola (17:48):
Yeah, well, thank you so much for clarifying and
sharing that.
So let's talk about your kindof academic trajectory.
How did you first getinterested in journalism and
communications?
Was there a class that you tookin undergrad?
Was there something thathappened in your childhood?
Why pursue that academic path?
Tara Pixley (18:09):
Yeah, I think I was just like watching too much
superhero stuff as a child,where all the superheroes
moonlight is journalists.
Like I got in my head that theway to change the world, if you
didn't have superpowers, was tobe a journalist, and in many
ways I think that that still hassome some truth to it.
(18:32):
But Also, journalists don'tchange the world.
Journalists tell the story ofworld change, and so I'm on a
different path with thatmentally.
But at the time I was very intobeing a journalist and so I
always wanted to be a writer andI thought I was going to be
working at I don't know TeenVogue or something in New York,
(18:52):
and so I started writing.
Like I co-founded my student EShaper in high school with a
friend of mine who also went onto be a journalist, and then I
got into this wonderful programthat was a newspaper for high
(19:12):
school students 14 byteens inAtlanta called Box, and that
space was just so wonderful.
I learned so much there and Igot my first photo and story
published in the Alerna JournalConstitution when I was 17.
And so then I was really bittenby it.
When I saw my stuff in print, Iwas like, oh, this is what I
(19:34):
will be doing.
Ijeoma Kola (19:35):
And so.
Tara Pixley (19:36):
I went to college for journalism and I got
internships in journalism and myfirst job out of college was as
a photo journalist.
And so at a certain point Itransitioned from writing to
photography.
I loved photography.
I still do a ton of writing.
Now I write a lot aboutphotography, but I also write
(19:57):
news and stories to accompany myphotography and film work.
And yeah, so it really startedin high school and then
continued through college andthat was my career.
And then I transitioned tojournalism education Because, as
(20:17):
I said, I had a lot of opinionsabout how things should be
being done and I wanted to besharing those opinions because
they were not being heard in thenewsroom.
Nobody cared what I had to say.
I was like a 27-year-old withtwo kids working in the low
ranks of editorial.
No one was interested in myopinions.
Ijeoma Kola (20:36):
But then I go and get a.
Tara Pixley (20:36):
PhD.
I got the same opinions and allof a sudden they're flying me
out to tell them about it.
Ijeoma Kola (20:45):
I love it, I love it, I love it.
So what were some of thesuccesses and challenges that
you experienced during your timeat UC San Diego?
You already mentioned one ofthe positives being the graduate
housing environment kind ofbeing able to grow up and to
have your kids grow up aroundother kids in graduate housing.
But what were some of the otherhighlights and some of the
(21:06):
other challenges of grad school?
Tara Pixley (21:11):
Well, I'll speak to the challenges first so I can
end on a nice note.
As I mentioned, I didn't reallyunderstand academia and I was
behind my peers in terms of myexposure to it.
But I far exceeded my peers interms of work experience and
many of the people I was inclasses with had gone straight
(21:32):
into PhDs from their undergrador they had just done a year of
something.
They didn't have full careerswhere they had been a
professional and were coming tograd school.
There were a couple of folkslike that, but generally I was
unusual in that regard and so Iwasn't coming.
(21:54):
I didn't understand this kind oflike advisor, advisee, you're
kind of some sort of parentalfigure and I am a child and I
should just take whatever yousay at face value.
I didn't know that.
That was an unspoken agreementand no one told me because it's
unspoken, and so I wasconstantly transgressing the
hierarchies of academiaunbeknownst to me.
(22:16):
I was like I'm in a class,classes are where you ask
questions and you critique andyou clarify.
I didn't know that when theysaid we're going to talk about
Foucault and Marx and whatever,that, I was just supposed to
passively consume that knowledgeand accept that all of these
white men were speakingabsolutely truth or whatever.
So I was asking questions likewell, why do we start with Marx?
(22:39):
Well, why are we studying thisthing?
Well, why is this person sovalid and why is this person not
valid?
And then I asked the crazyquestions where I was like.
So I noticed that a lot of thescholars were studying actually
come from the UC system or arelike from the West Coast.
Is that because there's just ashit ton of knowledge production
(22:59):
coming specifically from here?
Or is it a total bias, becauseyou don't think that other
people's knowledge is about?
And they were like what ishappening?
Here, and I will say that now,in my perspective being a
professor, I was coming inreally hot.
I actually had a full onargument in class.
As one of my professors in ourfirst year, that terrified all
(23:21):
of my cohorts.
Ijeoma Kola (23:23):
They were like why is she?
Tara Pixley (23:24):
doing this.
I was like, well, they saidthis thing and now they're going
back on it, and that can'thappen.
Ijeoma Kola (23:28):
I need clarity.
Tara Pixley (23:30):
So I was like not everyone's favorite and they
really tried to push me out Inthat.
First year there was anagreement amongst the faculty
that I learned later that Iwasn't going to succeed and that
I, in fact, was not cut out forgrad school.
And luckily we have this reallyarcane process of taking tests
(23:55):
anonymously, like we had oneweek to write eight essays.
They get graded anonymously,and so everyone, as it was told
to me, the faculty who weretasked with preparing us for
grad school, had already givenup on me and decided that I
wasn't cut out for this and wereactively working against me,
(24:18):
telling me they were going togive me an A, but then actually
giving me B, which, as youprobably know I don't know if
this is true everywhere, butanything less than an A in a
doctoral class is a letter ofnot, you know, it's basically
saying you don't belong here.
And so they were doing theselittle tactics.
(24:40):
And then I took that test, theexam where I'm writing about all
of these ideas that they'vebeen instilling us, and I passed
with flying colors, toeveryone's surprise, and they
couldn't do anything about itbecause it's anonymous.
So they thought I was going tofail.
I didn't fail.
I did better than several of myother cohorts, according to the
(25:01):
professor who I'd actuallyoriginally argued with.
Who was the one?
Who was like listen, I'm justgoing to give it to you straight
no one believes you're going todo well.
Everyone's kind of betting onyou failing.
And then a couple of peoplecontinued to try to push me out.
One of them was actually thechair of my department, a white
woman, who tried to find everyexcuse that she could, oddly
(25:23):
enough, to get me to lead gradschool procedural things, just
all kinds of things.
But I kept winning grants andawards and having projects and
publications, and I was actuallythe first to graduate on time
in my, or the only person tograduate on time, doing all of
the things that were required ofus in my cohort.
(25:46):
I'll say that.
And yeah, so I like a challengeand they challenged me because
I had challenged them and Ilearned a lot from that.
And I will say that if I hadcome into my doctoral program
without having had 10 years ofbeing messed with by white
(26:07):
people in journalism, if Ihadn't been yelled at and tried
to have people try to push meout in journalism, all of the
things that happened to me ingrad school had already happened
to me and I was like y'all havenothing on the crazy folks in
journalism.
You don't even know how to dothis.
So I was like that's cute, butyou're not going to get me.
(26:31):
And I'm so glad that I did showup with that kind of experience
previous experience because thatwould have wrecked me, like the
way that they went about doingthat, the insidiousness of the
and the way that they call intoquestion your intelligence, and
that was something that no onehad ever called.
I was a valedictorian of myhigh school.
(26:51):
I was half of my class everyyear.
No one had ever tried to makeme feel stupid, unworthy, yes,
like invalid, untalented theseother things that had happened
to me in journalism, yes, but noone in journalism had ever
called into question myintelligence, and so that was a
new one in academia.
But I'm really, ultimately, I'mgrateful for that and I'm
(27:14):
grateful that they were doing itto me because I could handle it
, and I think that also helpedme know what sorts of
shenanigans think about too, andso I can better prepare my
colleagues and my friends andthat has been very meaningful
for me.
So, in terms of highlights,really just having this space to
(27:37):
learn, I learned so much.
I'm a different personintellectually.
The way I understand the worldis just radically different, in
large part due to the time Ispent in my doctoral program and
even though I had a sense aboutthe world, the way that the
social order functions, relatedto race and gender and
(27:58):
citizenship, like I was livingthose things but I couldn't put
my lived experience into wordsand I certainly didn't have the
like centuries of writing tocontextualize.
Well, this is how we got hereand these people were writing in
this way and philosophizing inthis way.
That dehumanized me.
And these people have beenspeaking from the subaltern and,
(28:20):
you know, rat like radicalizingour thinking, but we're not
hearing about that In mostplaces.
So if you're not seeking thatknowledge out yourself or
getting a PhD, it's hard to comeby and I mean it's becoming
more of the cultural lexicon now, but in 2012 People weren't
talking about bell hooks, likein the streets.
They were talking about otherring and like that.
(28:40):
All the stuff that is now likein the, the social uber, is like
.
That was not you know.
So I'm really excited that morepeople are having more access
to this knowledge andinformation.
For me it was a revelation andjust being able to pursue so
many different projects andunderstanding like that there
(29:00):
are these resources that willPay you to do your ideas, and
those ideas can help the worldand they can change.
You know like I can do thingsthat affect change now through
my job as a professor.
That will change the lives ofpeople like my mother, who I
(29:21):
Couldn't have imagined.
You know that I would have beenable to do that years ago.
So there's so many wonderfulthings that came from getting my
doctorate.
Ijeoma Kola (29:31):
I Love.
I love that we ended on thepositive note, because whoo the
struggle.
I I love how you framed yourPerspective and experience, the
fact that you had that workexperience and in a field that
is, from what I've heard, quitechallenging, and so being able
to have Experienced pushbackfrom other people in journalism,
(29:54):
preparity for the pushback inacademia.
I'm curious because I'm justtrying to, I'm trying to put
myself in your shoes.
I'm curious, after seeing thevery ugly side of academia,
especially faculty and academialack of support, intentional
efforts to push you out.
Why, then, continue on inacademia and become a professor?
(30:18):
Why not Carry out your researchas an independent scholar or
continue photojournalism?
Work outs like why still playnot play the academic game, but
yeah, why still Continuing acareer in academia, knowing how
messy it can be and reallyexperiencing the ugliest side of
it?
Tara Pixley (30:38):
Well, if there's somewhere that someone really
doesn't want me to be, thatmeans I absolutely must be there
so the fact, you know, and thisis something that I I really
struggle with, because I'malways telling my my like women
of color and like Queer andtrans folks of color Colleagues,
they're like I just can't dealwith this.
(30:58):
I'm a quit.
I'm like please Don't quit, weneed you, we need you in
journalism, we need you inacademia, we need you in the
classroom, we need you fightingthe good fight and I'm like.
I do feel that deeply.
I also feel like you have totake care of yourself, right?
So if something is threateningyour, your life and livelihood,
like your ability to have joy,then you have to make different
(31:21):
choices.
But I derive joy from Succeedingwhere others try to make me
feel so you know, even though itis like it's not a good feeling
to work with people who don'tRespect you and who are actively
trying to move against you.
Let me be clear that is theentire world.
(31:44):
I'm a black, queer woman.
Yeah, the entire world istrying to move against me.
So, yeah, at some point I haveto say well, this thing I'm not
gonna let you know, I'm notgonna go.
If, if you're trying to push meout, the one thing you can be
certain of is that I will not beleaving of my own Bullition,
(32:05):
because I'm not gonna give youwhat you wanted the easy way
like, no, you're gonna stay herein within this jungle with me.
So you know, for me quittingwasn't really an option.
I considered transferring.
I was like, maybe I'll go to adifferent university where
they'll treat me better.
But I had too many other goodthings, um, yeah, you know, and
then I was like I became a unionorganizer.
(32:26):
I was like working with thegrad student Organization and
that's like that is what I do.
When someone is trying to pushme Out or, like you know, I feel
like this isn't a welcomingspace, I just dig in deeper,
like, okay, well, what are thestructures that make this
unwelcoming for people like me?
What are the position?
(32:47):
You know, what are the painpoints that I can get a position
of power to help Myself andothers like me and whoever comes
after me.
And for me, that was likeworking in the graduate student
organization.
And I became a vice presidentof, like equity, university
inclusion, to, to work on theseissues across the university.
Um, and then, you know, Istarted union organizing for
(33:09):
grad students.
So All of that helped me findmy people, who were, you know,
who did respect me, who valuedme and made it possible for me
to do this work.
And and I was you know, Iwasn't in academia to, to be
like, deemed this reallyimportant and interesting
(33:32):
scholar.
I came into academia because Iwanted to teach the next
generation of Journalists and Iwanted journalism education to
be more accessible and open towomen and people of color, so
that didn't change.
Like you know, whether I everwrite a book that is that
everyone loves, or you know, I'mnot interested in that kind of
seeking Scholarly gratification.
(33:55):
I'm interested in being in theclassroom and affecting change
at a level that will Trickleinto other aspects of of
American social life.
So they weren't gonna stop mefrom doing that.
For what?
Yeah, they don't have thatpower.
Ijeoma Kola (34:08):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I had a feeling that you would
have a really motivationalanswer, so I'm really glad that
I that I asked that question.
Um, I love how you said if, ifsomeone doesn't want me
somewhere, that is a sign that Ineed to be there.
I feel like that's reallyreally, really great advice for
folks.
I have a question about yourcareer as a visual journalist
(34:29):
and storyteller how do you goabout crafting narratives that
reflect the experiences ofmarginalized folks such as black
, lgbtq plus and diasporacommunities?
Um?
Tara Pixley (34:42):
Well, I, I hope that I do reflect those
experiences.
I think that's always a processand I'm always questioning
myself, you know, like do I?
Is this the story I should betelling?
Do I belong here?
Like, is there someone else whocould do a better job at this,
or could do a more intimate job,because it's not really
connected to a community?
But ultimately I asked myself,like, how would I want my family
(35:06):
to be portrayed?
What do I want people to knowabout the immigrant experience,
about what it means to be blackin the us, about what it means
to be Afro-cruel but I'm notsure if I'm going to be
Afro-cruel or queer.
Like what?
What do I value about thesespaces?
And that's what I want tophotograph.
(35:27):
You know, this is why I focus onjoy, community, family, like
love those are the things that Ithink make, make compelling
images and Tell true stories,accurate stories of who people
are and when you, when you seeimages of people Loving each
(35:48):
other and working together andthen you find out what they are
going through and they'remanaging to do this, like that
is a totally differentrelationship To those people and
those images and what theydeserve.
And what I need, like what I amcalled on as a, a viewing
audience member, as a public, aslike part of their shared
(36:09):
citizenry.
That is a differentrelationship to what I Think I
need to do for my fellow humanbeing.
Then, just seeing someone inthe in the moment of the worst
day of their life, you knowthat's like oh no, this terrible
thing has happened to them.
I have no frame of referencefor that terrible thing.
How terrible but.
(36:29):
If it's like, oh look, they'reliving a beautiful, joyous life,
just like I live, or my friendslive, or I want to live, and
they're doing that despite allof this other shit.
Well, hell, like, let's get inthese streets.
Like so I think you know,that's my, my personal take on
that.
It's not that I think that weshould never have images of
struggle, like we do need tounveil the horrors of this world
(36:53):
that we visit upon each otheras humans, but we also need to
make space for joy and for youknow, what are we even fighting
for?
Like, if everything is terrible, that we can all just die right
, but no, there is somethingwe're fighting for love and our
children and those moments ofhappiness.
So like we have to see that.
(37:13):
If we don't see that and we'renot taking the time to
acknowledge that Everyone canand should have access to that,
then are we really telling thestory of the world?
Are we telling anything true?
So that's what I think aboutwhen I'm, when I'm doing this
work, and I try to show imagesthat I haven't Seen before, seen
(37:34):
a lot of, or try to make imagesthat I haven't seen a lot of,
and I'm happy to say that that'sgetting harder and harder
because we have such an influxof, well, it's getting harder
and harder to to, kind of like,make images I haven't seen
before, because so many peopleare doing this wonderful work of
, you know, reframing the visuallexicon of around people of
(37:59):
color, around people fromcolonized nations, around women,
around queer and trans folks,so Around people with
disabilities, like all of thesedifferent communities are being
shown now in their, you know,beautiful Entity, their
complexity, the nuance, and soI'm, I'm happy that you know, I
(38:21):
just sometimes I'm like Alright,like I don't even know if I
need to tell this story, likeeight other people are doing it.
Ijeoma Kola (38:29):
That's great.
Tara Pixley (38:30):
Yeah, something else I need to tell you.
Ijeoma Kola (38:32):
I love that the field, you feel like the field
is already moving in thedirection that your goal of
educating the future generationof journalists it's like it's
already coming to life.
You are having to do less ofthe work because there are more
and more people who are tellingthe stories that You're
interested in capturing andtelling those stories of joy,
(38:52):
those stories of optimism, thosestories of resilience that
you're a hundred percent right.
They're so rarely shown and so,but like without them, like
what is there to be fighting for?
Like why are we struggling?
So I, I really like thatperspective, especially as
someone who, you know, in thepast couple of months has
started to feel pretty likepessimistic about life.
(39:14):
I Think it's such a greatreminder that we need to see Joy
, we need to see us livinghappily Together in community
with one another, because that'swhat really keeps us going and
drives us forward.
So thanks so much for doing thework and for inspiring others
to do the work as well.
So two short questions.
We ask all of our guests toreflect a little bit about their
(39:36):
own doctoral journey and thengive some advice.
So first question is what isone thing that you would do
differently, if any, if you hadto do your doctoral journey all
over again?
Tara Pixley (39:48):
I would go to a university that offered me a
better package financial packageBecause you know I mentioned, I
went to the university thatwanted me.
I wish that I had been in aposition to continue applying
and also just I Didn't know.
(40:10):
I mean, I wrote like my, mymaterials, my application
channels are so embarrassingbecause I didn't know what I was
supposed to be writing to.
I didn't.
I didn't have an advisor thatwas like this is what this is.
So I was just kind of followingthe prompts and trying to make
sense of it.
So I know that you know I couldhave gotten into Different
schools that maybe the programsort of had more aligned with
(40:32):
what I'm very happy with what Iended up Doing, because UCSB had
their communication department,had such a great like
intellectually interdisciplinaryand and methodologically
interdisciplinary space, so andthat was very, you know,
formative and beneficial for me,whereas I would have gone to
(40:55):
like another, like a morejournalism focused, the
university might not have gotten, or Program rather might not
have gotten as much out of it.
So I think, be open to a Adifferent experience than you
might have thought you needed,but also like get that money
like be really realistic aboutwhat you need to survive,
(41:15):
because we my first couple yearsof grad school as a TA, I was
making $18,000 raising twochildren in Southern California.
So I had to take out a ton ofstudent loans just for us to
live.
I Didn't have to pay, you know,call it.
Everything was like that waspaid for which, and that was the
first time I had had healthinsurance as an adult.
(41:37):
Like that was really incrediblebecause I couldn't afford it as
a journalist and there are somany things that were
financially beneficial.
But making 18k, like being underthe poverty line, like so much
of academia is predicated onthis idea that you have some
kind of generational wealth orthat you have like a partner who
(41:57):
is making money and I don't youknow, I don't think that they,
you know the powers that youeven realize that that is like
what it's structured on, even atthis point, as we've been doing
so much pushback againstAcademia's ivory tower.
So if you can be honest withyourself about your financial
situation and be really adamantlike this is what I need to
(42:19):
survive, I think that's reallyimportant, while also
maintaining, you know, havingsome space for it to be like
you're not gonna make a salary,right, it's not gonna, it's not
gonna be the same as like you'restill gonna struggle a little
bit.
It's not not for you to likemake money, but yeah make sure
you can live.
(42:39):
You know, like that's what.
That's what I would say Don'tbe so like don't, don't feel so,
beholden to that piece of paperthat says congratulations,
you've been, you know you're inour program, like if they're not
offering you what you need tolive, then they're not offering
you anything worth youconsidering.
Ijeoma Kola (42:58):
Mmm.
Yeah, so that was a reflectionon your journey combined with a
piece of advice.
So thank you so much, dr Pixley, for joining us on the cohort
sisters podcast.
First, terry, your story howyou got to and through your
doctoral degree despite, despitea lot of odds Against you,
despite people trying toactively push you out, but I am
(43:19):
so excited to hear that you notonly persevered but you're
continuing to do the work oftraining the next generation of
journalism scholars bytransforming journalism
education.
We will include in the shownotes places for folks to see
all of your amazing work.
I was like on your website suchbeautiful photo journalism that
you do.
So I'm really excited for otherpeople to see your work.
(43:40):
And congratulations again onthe new role and safe travels.
I guess in two years, when Oneyear.
Tara Pixley (43:49):
I've already done my my first year, and now my son
is finishing his senior year,so we go one more year and then
I'm coming to Philly.
Ijeoma Kola (43:55):
Nice, nice, nice.
Well, thanks again for joiningus today.
Thank you so much.
Tara Pixley (44:00):
I really appreciate all the work that you do
telling the story, telling ourstories and bringing that to a
wider audience.
So thank you so much for yourlabor and your brilliance and
your time Absolutely.
Ijeoma Kola (44:45):
You.
Welcome to another enlightening episode of the
Cohort SysSys podcast, where wegive voice to the stories,
struggles and successes of Blackwomen and non-binary folks with
doctoral degrees.
I'm your host, dr JohnMcCollough, and today I'd like
to introduce Dr Tara Pixley.
With an MFA in Photography anda PhD in Communication, she's a
(00:23):
visual journalist, strategicstorytelling consultant and
esteemed professor with over twodecades of media production and
editorial experience.
As a queer, first-generationJamaican American raised in the
Southeast US, she's deeplycommitted to reshaping visual
narratives around themes likeimmigration, blackness, lgbtq
(00:45):
plus communities and the globalSouth.
Her work challengesconventional portrayals of
gender, race, class andsexuality in photography, both
in her personal projects andscholarly pursuits.
She's a 2022 Pulitzer CenterDiversify Photo-I-Witness Photo
Journalism Grant recipient,focusing on the pressing
(01:06):
environmental justice issue ofLA urban oil production.
She's also a 2022-2023 ReynoldsJournalism Institute fellow,
working on a project calledSource of Safety, which
addresses identity-aware safetyresources for visual journalists
.
If that wasn't enough, she'salso a founding member and
executive director of AuthorityCollective, championing
(01:29):
inclusivity and transformativeprojects in the realm of visual
media.
So much going on.
Welcome, dr Pixley, to thepodcast.
Tara Pixley (01:38):
Thank you so much for having me and thank you for
the lovely opening.
Ijeoma Kola (01:44):
You're welcome.
I mean, you do so much.
So tell us a little bit aboutyourself.
We know you are JamaicanAmerican.
We know you grew up in theSoutheast.
What else should we know aboutyou?
Who is Dr Pixley, outside ofher amazing bio and all of her
wonderful accomplishments?
Tara Pixley (02:02):
Oh my gosh.
Well, thank you so much againfor having me and for creating
this space so wonderful.
I don't know, I think, if Iwere going to say one thing that
is really integral to who I amas a person that is not in my
bio, it's that I had childrenvery young.
I had my son two weeks after Igraduated undergrad.
(02:22):
I was at Florida A&M Universitygetting my bachelor's in
philosophy and journalism, andit was certainly an unplanned
early parenthood, but I thinkthat that had so much impact on
who I became and my work ethicand just my relationship to the
(02:44):
world.
And so my two children my sonis now 17, kate and Noble, and
my daughter is 13, bryn and thetwo of them are wonderful little
human beings and they reallyinform so much of my work and
they've been such amazing roledogs.
Just like you know, I'm likemommy's going to grad school and
(03:05):
they're like, okay, we need topack up the car and drive across
the country from Atlanta to SanDiego when they are two and six
years old and start a life veryfar away from all of our family
.
And so that, being in gradschool, my doctoral program,
(03:26):
without really any family orfriends network that we had in
existence.
We built a new one.
That was really incredible inSouthern California.
But just having that shift inmy perspective and my
relationship to people in spacethroughout my career has really
informed so much of the workthat I do, and I think I'm
(03:49):
really really lucky to be ableto move through these different
spaces.
I didn't really understand whenI was starting in my doctoral
program that academia is its ownprofession.
I was a first generation collegestudent.
No one in my family understoodwhat it was to get a PhD really,
you know, neither.
(04:09):
My mom didn't even go to highschool.
My father didn't finish his,you know, didn't go beyond high
school, and so everyone valuededucation a lot, but we did not
have a frame of reference for adoctoral program and I wanted to
get my PhD, as I said, to beundeniable.
(04:30):
I didn't want to give anyone areason to say I didn't have the
credentials to do X, y and Z.
So I'm actually thinking aboutgetting an MBA in a lot of
degree now and just like, whatis the next level of what else
do I need to do to make surethese people can't tell me no
and that I can speak fromexperience and expertise.
Yeah, so very, very long-windedanswer, but I think those are
(04:55):
the things that have reallyinformed who I am as a person is
being a young parent andworking through a lot of
different spaces of journalismand academia and now consulting,
also doing equity work andworking in the nonprofit space.
Ijeoma Kola (05:12):
Yeah, okay, I have, ah, trying to decide which
direction I want to go intobecause I have two like
different lines of questionsthat I want to ask.
I'm going to ask one andhopefully I can remember to get
back to the other one.
So I believe and if someone islistening, a past guest is
listening and I'm completelywrong, my bad, but I believe
that you're one of the firstguests on the podcast who has
(05:32):
shared that they startedgraduate school with very young
children who also made a moveacross the country.
I think oftentimes, when folksare talking about you know where
to go to grad school.
We actually just had a workshopearlier this week where our
speaker was telling us, like youknow, your advisors might tell
you, apply everywhere, goeverywhere, but like that's not
(05:53):
necessarily the reality forblack folks.
But then also, I think, thiselement of moving, the moving
that is so commonly associatedwith an academic life, whether
it is moving for grad school ormoving for an academic job, or
moving after three years if youdon't like that place, or moving
for tenure, you know, whateverit is, that kind of instability
(06:13):
is often often clashes withhaving a family and no family
stability.
So I would love if you couldjust speak a little bit more to
the decision to move crosscountry.
Could you explore anyinstitutions on the East Coast
where you and your family werebefore you came to California?
Just what was that transitionlike?
(06:35):
I feel like it's one thing tomove yourself across the country
.
It's another thing to moveyourself and little children.
So I just left to know a littlebit more about that.
Tara Pixley (06:43):
You know, honestly, I'll tell you my story of then
and then also my story of now,because I have a moving story
that's like kind of unfoldingright now, related to my career
in academia, and I will say it'smuch easier to move younger
children than it is to moveolder children.
When, when I was taking my myson that he had just finished
(07:04):
kindergarten and my daughter wasin this- really wonderful
preschool that we loved, but itwasn't.
it wasn't this big big deal tomove them.
You know they were so youngthat they're I want to.
We talked to my son.
He said, kaden, are you worriedabout anything?
Are you sad to leave yourfriends?
And he said I'll make newfriends.
(07:25):
You know that's him at sixyears old and it's true.
We made new friends immediately.
All of us did, and so inretrospect you know that it
wasn't as emotionally andstrategically difficult as as
now, which I'll get to in asecond.
And I think something that'simportant is I didn't have a lot
(07:47):
of family help with raising mykids, so it wasn't like I was
leaving like this great network.
And because I was a young parent.
I didn't have other youngparents or I didn't have other
parents around me, like I wasthe only one of my friends that
had children.
So I actually moved to a moresupportive community where there
were other parents when I wentinto grad school in San Diego
(08:11):
because I was moving intograduate housing that was geared
towards families, and so weactually went from having very,
very little support for raisingtwo young children to having a
ton of support and being in thisvibrant, beautiful community of
people of all ages withchildren of all ages, and our
(08:32):
kids grew up together over thosesix years of grad school.
It was really amazing and I hadthen we had a very different
experience when I got my jobafter grad school and my kids
were about 10 or 11 or 12 andeight or nine, something like
(08:53):
that, and their dad and I wereno longer together.
But we're very friendly andcollaborative co-parents and so
when I moved to LA, we had tomake the decision of are the
kids going to move with me orare they going to stay with him,
and we had a lot of logisticaldifficulty there and then they
ended up moving with me in LAand now I got a job as a
(09:18):
professor at Temple and I'll bestarting in Temple this semester
, actually next weekCongratulations.
Thank you.
I'm very excited, but thatintroduced a lot of logistical
difficulty because now mychildren are my sons going to
senior year of high school, mydaughter's going to her last
year of middle school.
They have their friends hereand even though I don't have any
(09:40):
family or and I have way lesssupport now, everyone move their
separate ways after grad schooland LA is not not the easiest
place to make friends or parentfriends.
So I don't.
I am in that space again whereI'm like I don't have a network
here.
But I have to make a choice forthe kids and so I actually
(10:01):
negotiated to stay two yearslonger in LA and to move to
Temple to Philly after my songraduated high school, because I
just couldn't, for me, itwasn't ethical for me to choose
my career over his career andhe's in a point where he needed
(10:22):
to make good choices about hisfootball career and where he
gets to go to college.
The last couple years of highschool and so important for you,
informative and the same for mydaughter.
You know, middle school is veryformative time and disrupting
their lives at that time.
For my own remove was not, itdidn't sit right with me.
Like I said, they've been myrole dogs this whole time.
They've always been like wesupport you, mom, we want you to
(10:45):
have what you need.
So that time I chose them inand it's been difficult but it
my university was like veryagreeable and is letting me
teach online.
So you know there's differentexperiences but I think
ultimately you have to make thechoice is best for you and your
family at that time and I alsothink it's really important to
(11:08):
be open to experiences likemoving across the country was
probably the best thing that Icould have done for me and my
children.
Ijeoma Kola (11:15):
And.
Tara Pixley (11:16):
I did look at sorry your other question.
I did look at universitiesaround me but I didn't get into
those or or they didn't give mea package that was feasible.
So I went to the universitythey wanted me and that happened
to be across the country.
Ijeoma Kola (11:30):
Nice.
Thanks so much for sharing thatperspective, especially around
moving with young kids versusmoving with older kids
Definitely something that I'mthinking a lot about.
I have young kids now thinkingabout like trajectory, so that's
that's really great context forme, and I know that there are
people who are probablylistening who might also have
kids thinking about going tograd school or currently in grad
(11:51):
school and thinking about thenext step.
So that's really really helpfulcontext I'm glad I remembered.
The second thing that I wantedto follow up on from your
opening thoughts was you saidsomething along the lines of
you're thinking about gettingadditional degrees so that
people can like won't say no,give you no reason to say no,
and I've always thought of thePhD as like the ultimate, like I
(12:15):
am an expert.
There is absolutely nothingthat that you can say to me
because I am an.
Those three letters give meenough credibility.
But to hear you say that you'rethinking about pursuing
additional degrees, notnecessarily for the learning
capacity and not to say thatthat isn't one of the reasons,
(12:36):
but you specifically called outlike for credibility and respect
.
So can you talk a little bitabout one, why you wanted to
pursue a PhD in the context ofcredibility, but two what it is
about being a black woman with aPhD that still wants to get
additional certifications inorder to continue to earn
respect in her field.
Tara Pixley (12:56):
Yeah, and you know, I would say it's not really
about respect, like I say thatkind of jokingly, like so that
no one can deny me, but yeah,really, it's about expertise and
access.
I decided to get a PhD becausethat was the highest level of
education and I valued education.
I was a good student, I lovepositive feedback from from
(13:18):
professors, right.
So I just was like I'm going tokeep that going.
That's what I think I'msupposed to do.
I did as I said.
I did not understand thatacademia was its own profession,
and so I'm thinking I'm goingto get my PhD studying
journalism so that I can be aprofessor of journalism, because
I'm a journalist and this iswhat I do.
(13:39):
I want to teach it as well.
I want to impact the future ofjournalism by impacting
journalism education, and I hada lot of critiques of journalism
education.
So if I have a problem withsomething, I have a rule I have
to go do something about it.
I can't complain aboutsomething that I'm not willing
to do something about.
So yeah, for me getting a PhDwas about, you know, just
(14:02):
getting access to being aprofessor.
And as I got an academia and Ilearned, wow, there's this whole
, there's this whole thing withits own conferences, and you
know I'm learning what this isand I was, I was really behind
because a lot of my, my fellow,you know, my classmates and my
cohort they even though many ofthem were also first and second
(14:22):
gen Americans, they had moreproximity to that level of
knowledge.
They had gone to the UC system.
So our ones were teaching themsomething very different than
what I was receiving in terms ofaccess and like access to
certain knowledges at an HBCU.
And I went to an art school formy MFA.
They weren't really preparingtheir MFA students to go on to
(14:46):
doctoral education.
You know they're preparing tobe an artist.
So, yeah, I had all of thesedifferent perspectives and
getting a PhD helped me get thisdifferent perspective on
academia and with that, like now, I'm in a position where, you
know, my PhD has gotten me, hasopened so many doors.
(15:06):
I do feel very respected andappreciated and validated in
many spaces that I wouldotherwise not have been
previously.
But there are things aboutsociety that I think are still,
you know, like having legalexpertise would be very
important and helpful for mycommunity, for my activism work,
(15:29):
for my students.
So that's something that I'minterested in just knowing more
about.
I have zero interest in being alawyer, I've never wanted to be
a lawyer, but having legalexpertise and that knowledge I
think would be incredibly useful.
So that's something I've beenthinking about.
I don't really want to go tolaw school but you know I'll
check it out.
I like logic.
And then the thing with thinkingabout business school.
(15:52):
Actually, the other day I'm, Isit on a board and we're doing a
CEO search and someonementioned to me like Tara, have
you thought about putting yourname in?
And no one had ever put me andCEO in the same sentence and I
was just thinking about likethat really threw me.
It was, you know, it was verygratifying and validating and
(16:15):
certainly appreciated.
And I was thinking aboutgrowing up.
My mom was in secretary for CFOof a big bank and I used to do
my homework sitting on therelike the highest floor in the
tallest building in Atlanta andthe tallest building south of
the Mason Dixon line, where allof these entirely white male
rooms, you know, of power, hadsomething that I I had no
(16:39):
connection mentally.
There's like no possibility inmy mind that I could be one of
those people.
I didn't even understand what apathway to that look like.
And so to actually have apowerful, wealthy white man
turned to me and say well, whatif you become the CEO?
I am, you know what if youapply, that was like
mind-blowing.
And so then I started looking atthe job description and I
(17:01):
realized I'm like I actuallycould do this job there, but
there are a couple things thatI'm not knowledgeable about and
they're primarily businessspecific things, and so that was
like well, how do I get thatexpertise and how do I be the
whole package that I would liketo be, so that if I am in a
position to have a CEO or someother C-suite role, that I can
(17:22):
hit the ground running and do anexcellent job?
And so I was then looking at,like you know, instead of maybe
a whole MBA I'm kind of tired orschool, but like also maxed out
on the student loans, you know,like business certificates and
from Wharton and things likethat so you know, it's not just
about respect.
I think it's about positioningyourself to have the knowledge
(17:44):
and expertise to do the thingsthat you want to do in the world
.
Ijeoma Kola (17:48):
Yeah, well, thank you so much for clarifying and
sharing that.
So let's talk about your kindof academic trajectory.
How did you first getinterested in journalism and
communications?
Was there a class that you tookin undergrad?
Was there something thathappened in your childhood?
Why pursue that academic path?
Tara Pixley (18:09):
Yeah, I think I was just like watching too much
superhero stuff as a child,where all the superheroes
moonlight is journalists.
Like I got in my head that theway to change the world, if you
didn't have superpowers, was tobe a journalist, and in many
ways I think that that still hassome some truth to it.
(18:32):
But Also, journalists don'tchange the world.
Journalists tell the story ofworld change, and so I'm on a
different path with thatmentally.
But at the time I was very intobeing a journalist and so I
always wanted to be a writer andI thought I was going to be
working at I don't know TeenVogue or something in New York,
(18:52):
and so I started writing.
Like I co-founded my student EShaper in high school with a
friend of mine who also went onto be a journalist, and then I
got into this wonderful programthat was a newspaper for high
(19:12):
school students 14 byteens inAtlanta called Box, and that
space was just so wonderful.
I learned so much there and Igot my first photo and story
published in the Alerna JournalConstitution when I was 17.
And so then I was really bittenby it.
When I saw my stuff in print, Iwas like, oh, this is what I
(19:34):
will be doing.
Ijeoma Kola (19:35):
And so.
Tara Pixley (19:36):
I went to college for journalism and I got
internships in journalism and myfirst job out of college was as
a photo journalist.
And so at a certain point Itransitioned from writing to
photography.
I loved photography.
I still do a ton of writing.
Now I write a lot aboutphotography, but I also write
(19:57):
news and stories to accompany myphotography and film work.
And yeah, so it really startedin high school and then
continued through college andthat was my career.
And then I transitioned tojournalism education Because, as
(20:17):
I said, I had a lot of opinionsabout how things should be
being done and I wanted to besharing those opinions because
they were not being heard in thenewsroom.
Nobody cared what I had to say.
I was like a 27-year-old withtwo kids working in the low
ranks of editorial.
No one was interested in myopinions.
Ijeoma Kola (20:36):
But then I go and get a.
Tara Pixley (20:36):
PhD.
I got the same opinions and allof a sudden they're flying me
out to tell them about it.
Ijeoma Kola (20:45):
I love it, I love it, I love it.
So what were some of thesuccesses and challenges that
you experienced during your timeat UC San Diego?
You already mentioned one ofthe positives being the graduate
housing environment kind ofbeing able to grow up and to
have your kids grow up aroundother kids in graduate housing.
But what were some of the otherhighlights and some of the
(21:06):
other challenges of grad school?
Tara Pixley (21:11):
Well, I'll speak to the challenges first so I can
end on a nice note.
As I mentioned, I didn't reallyunderstand academia and I was
behind my peers in terms of myexposure to it.
But I far exceeded my peers interms of work experience and
many of the people I was inclasses with had gone straight
(21:32):
into PhDs from their undergrador they had just done a year of
something.
They didn't have full careerswhere they had been a
professional and were coming tograd school.
There were a couple of folkslike that, but generally I was
unusual in that regard and so Iwasn't coming.
(21:54):
I didn't understand this kind oflike advisor, advisee, you're
kind of some sort of parentalfigure and I am a child and I
should just take whatever yousay at face value.
I didn't know that.
That was an unspoken agreementand no one told me because it's
unspoken, and so I wasconstantly transgressing the
hierarchies of academiaunbeknownst to me.
(22:16):
I was like I'm in a class,classes are where you ask
questions and you critique andyou clarify.
I didn't know that when theysaid we're going to talk about
Foucault and Marx and whatever,that, I was just supposed to
passively consume that knowledgeand accept that all of these
white men were speakingabsolutely truth or whatever.
So I was asking questions likewell, why do we start with Marx?
(22:39):
Well, why are we studying thisthing?
Well, why is this person sovalid and why is this person not
valid?
And then I asked the crazyquestions where I was like.
So I noticed that a lot of thescholars were studying actually
come from the UC system or arelike from the West Coast.
Is that because there's just ashit ton of knowledge production
(22:59):
coming specifically from here?
Or is it a total bias, becauseyou don't think that other
people's knowledge is about?
And they were like what ishappening?
Here, and I will say that now,in my perspective being a
professor, I was coming inreally hot.
I actually had a full onargument in class.
As one of my professors in ourfirst year, that terrified all
(23:21):
of my cohorts.
Ijeoma Kola (23:23):
They were like why is she?
Tara Pixley (23:24):
doing this.
I was like, well, they saidthis thing and now they're going
back on it, and that can'thappen.
Ijeoma Kola (23:28):
I need clarity.
Tara Pixley (23:30):
So I was like not everyone's favorite and they
really tried to push me out Inthat.
First year there was anagreement amongst the faculty
that I learned later that Iwasn't going to succeed and that
I, in fact, was not cut out forgrad school.
And luckily we have this reallyarcane process of taking tests
(23:55):
anonymously, like we had oneweek to write eight essays.
They get graded anonymously,and so everyone, as it was told
to me, the faculty who weretasked with preparing us for
grad school, had already givenup on me and decided that I
wasn't cut out for this and wereactively working against me,
(24:18):
telling me they were going togive me an A, but then actually
giving me B, which, as youprobably know I don't know if
this is true everywhere, butanything less than an A in a
doctoral class is a letter ofnot, you know, it's basically
saying you don't belong here.
And so they were doing theselittle tactics.
(24:40):
And then I took that test, theexam where I'm writing about all
of these ideas that they'vebeen instilling us, and I passed
with flying colors, toeveryone's surprise, and they
couldn't do anything about itbecause it's anonymous.
So they thought I was going tofail.
I didn't fail.
I did better than several of myother cohorts, according to the
(25:01):
professor who I'd actuallyoriginally argued with.
Who was the one?
Who was like listen, I'm justgoing to give it to you straight
no one believes you're going todo well.
Everyone's kind of betting onyou failing.
And then a couple of peoplecontinued to try to push me out.
One of them was actually thechair of my department, a white
woman, who tried to find everyexcuse that she could, oddly
(25:23):
enough, to get me to lead gradschool procedural things, just
all kinds of things.
But I kept winning grants andawards and having projects and
publications, and I was actuallythe first to graduate on time
in my, or the only person tograduate on time, doing all of
the things that were required ofus in my cohort.
(25:46):
I'll say that.
And yeah, so I like a challengeand they challenged me because
I had challenged them and Ilearned a lot from that.
And I will say that if I hadcome into my doctoral program
without having had 10 years ofbeing messed with by white
(26:07):
people in journalism, if Ihadn't been yelled at and tried
to have people try to push meout in journalism, all of the
things that happened to me ingrad school had already happened
to me and I was like y'all havenothing on the crazy folks in
journalism.
You don't even know how to dothis.
So I was like that's cute, butyou're not going to get me.
(26:31):
And I'm so glad that I did showup with that kind of experience
previous experience because thatwould have wrecked me, like the
way that they went about doingthat, the insidiousness of the
and the way that they call intoquestion your intelligence, and
that was something that no onehad ever called.
I was a valedictorian of myhigh school.
(26:51):
I was half of my class everyyear.
No one had ever tried to makeme feel stupid, unworthy, yes,
like invalid, untalented theseother things that had happened
to me in journalism, yes, but noone in journalism had ever
called into question myintelligence, and so that was a
new one in academia.
But I'm really, ultimately, I'mgrateful for that and I'm
(27:14):
grateful that they were doing itto me because I could handle it
, and I think that also helpedme know what sorts of
shenanigans think about too, andso I can better prepare my
colleagues and my friends andthat has been very meaningful
for me.
So, in terms of highlights,really just having this space to
(27:37):
learn, I learned so much.
I'm a different personintellectually.
The way I understand the worldis just radically different, in
large part due to the time Ispent in my doctoral program and
even though I had a sense aboutthe world, the way that the
social order functions, relatedto race and gender and
(27:58):
citizenship, like I was livingthose things but I couldn't put
my lived experience into wordsand I certainly didn't have the
like centuries of writing tocontextualize.
Well, this is how we got hereand these people were writing in
this way and philosophizing inthis way.
That dehumanized me.
And these people have beenspeaking from the subaltern and,
(28:20):
you know, rat like radicalizingour thinking, but we're not
hearing about that In mostplaces.
So if you're not seeking thatknowledge out yourself or
getting a PhD, it's hard to comeby and I mean it's becoming
more of the cultural lexicon now, but in 2012 People weren't
talking about bell hooks, likein the streets.
They were talking about otherring and like that.
(28:40):
All the stuff that is now likein the, the social uber, is like
.
That was not you know.
So I'm really excited that morepeople are having more access
to this knowledge andinformation.
For me it was a revelation andjust being able to pursue so
many different projects andunderstanding like that there
(29:00):
are these resources that willPay you to do your ideas, and
those ideas can help the worldand they can change.
You know like I can do thingsthat affect change now through
my job as a professor.
That will change the lives ofpeople like my mother, who I
(29:21):
Couldn't have imagined.
You know that I would have beenable to do that years ago.
So there's so many wonderfulthings that came from getting my
doctorate.
Ijeoma Kola (29:31):
I Love.
I love that we ended on thepositive note, because whoo the
struggle.
I I love how you framed yourPerspective and experience, the
fact that you had that workexperience and in a field that
is, from what I've heard, quitechallenging, and so being able
to have Experienced pushbackfrom other people in journalism,
(29:54):
preparity for the pushback inacademia.
I'm curious because I'm justtrying to, I'm trying to put
myself in your shoes.
I'm curious, after seeing thevery ugly side of academia,
especially faculty and academialack of support, intentional
efforts to push you out.
Why, then, continue on inacademia and become a professor?
(30:18):
Why not Carry out your researchas an independent scholar or
continue photojournalism?
Work outs like why still playnot play the academic game, but
yeah, why still Continuing acareer in academia, knowing how
messy it can be and reallyexperiencing the ugliest side of
it?
Tara Pixley (30:38):
Well, if there's somewhere that someone really
doesn't want me to be, thatmeans I absolutely must be there
so the fact, you know, and thisis something that I I really
struggle with, because I'malways telling my my like women
of color and like Queer andtrans folks of color Colleagues,
they're like I just can't dealwith this.
(30:58):
I'm a quit.
I'm like please Don't quit, weneed you, we need you in
journalism, we need you inacademia, we need you in the
classroom, we need you fightingthe good fight and I'm like.
I do feel that deeply.
I also feel like you have totake care of yourself, right?
So if something is threateningyour, your life and livelihood,
like your ability to have joy,then you have to make different
(31:21):
choices.
But I derive joy from Succeedingwhere others try to make me
feel so you know, even though itis like it's not a good feeling
to work with people who don'tRespect you and who are actively
trying to move against you.
Let me be clear that is theentire world.
(31:44):
I'm a black, queer woman.
Yeah, the entire world istrying to move against me.
So, yeah, at some point I haveto say well, this thing I'm not
gonna let you know, I'm notgonna go.
If, if you're trying to push meout, the one thing you can be
certain of is that I will not beleaving of my own Bullition,
(32:05):
because I'm not gonna give youwhat you wanted the easy way
like, no, you're gonna stay herein within this jungle with me.
So you know, for me quittingwasn't really an option.
I considered transferring.
I was like, maybe I'll go to adifferent university where
they'll treat me better.
But I had too many other goodthings, um, yeah, you know, and
then I was like I became a unionorganizer.
(32:26):
I was like working with thegrad student Organization and
that's like that is what I do.
When someone is trying to pushme Out or, like you know, I feel
like this isn't a welcomingspace, I just dig in deeper,
like, okay, well, what are thestructures that make this
unwelcoming for people like me?
What are the position?
(32:47):
You know, what are the painpoints that I can get a position
of power to help Myself andothers like me and whoever comes
after me.
And for me, that was likeworking in the graduate student
organization.
And I became a vice presidentof, like equity, university
inclusion, to, to work on theseissues across the university.
Um, and then, you know, Istarted union organizing for
(33:09):
grad students.
So All of that helped me findmy people, who were, you know,
who did respect me, who valuedme and made it possible for me
to do this work.
And and I was you know, Iwasn't in academia to, to be
like, deemed this reallyimportant and interesting
(33:32):
scholar.
I came into academia because Iwanted to teach the next
generation of Journalists and Iwanted journalism education to
be more accessible and open towomen and people of color, so
that didn't change.
Like you know, whether I everwrite a book that is that
everyone loves, or you know, I'mnot interested in that kind of
seeking Scholarly gratification.
(33:55):
I'm interested in being in theclassroom and affecting change
at a level that will Trickleinto other aspects of of
American social life.
So they weren't gonna stop mefrom doing that.
For what?
Yeah, they don't have thatpower.
Ijeoma Kola (34:08):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I had a feeling that you would
have a really motivationalanswer, so I'm really glad that
I that I asked that question.
Um, I love how you said if, ifsomeone doesn't want me
somewhere, that is a sign that Ineed to be there.
I feel like that's reallyreally, really great advice for
folks.
I have a question about yourcareer as a visual journalist
(34:29):
and storyteller how do you goabout crafting narratives that
reflect the experiences ofmarginalized folks such as black
, lgbtq plus and diasporacommunities?
Um?
Tara Pixley (34:42):
Well, I, I hope that I do reflect those
experiences.
I think that's always a processand I'm always questioning
myself, you know, like do I?
Is this the story I should betelling?
Do I belong here?
Like, is there someone else whocould do a better job at this,
or could do a more intimate job,because it's not really
connected to a community?
But ultimately I asked myself,like, how would I want my family
(35:06):
to be portrayed?
What do I want people to knowabout the immigrant experience,
about what it means to be blackin the us, about what it means
to be Afro-cruel but I'm notsure if I'm going to be
Afro-cruel or queer.
Like what?
What do I value about thesespaces?
And that's what I want tophotograph.
(35:27):
You know, this is why I focus onjoy, community, family, like
love those are the things that Ithink make, make compelling
images and Tell true stories,accurate stories of who people
are and when you, when you seeimages of people Loving each
(35:48):
other and working together andthen you find out what they are
going through and they'remanaging to do this, like that
is a totally differentrelationship To those people and
those images and what theydeserve.
And what I need, like what I amcalled on as a, a viewing
audience member, as a public, aslike part of their shared
(36:09):
citizenry.
That is a differentrelationship to what I Think I
need to do for my fellow humanbeing.
Then, just seeing someone inthe in the moment of the worst
day of their life, you knowthat's like oh no, this terrible
thing has happened to them.
I have no frame of referencefor that terrible thing.
How terrible but.
(36:29):
If it's like, oh look, they'reliving a beautiful, joyous life,
just like I live, or my friendslive, or I want to live, and
they're doing that despite allof this other shit.
Well, hell, like, let's get inthese streets.
Like so I think you know,that's my, my personal take on
that.
It's not that I think that weshould never have images of
struggle, like we do need tounveil the horrors of this world
(36:53):
that we visit upon each otheras humans, but we also need to
make space for joy and for youknow, what are we even fighting
for?
Like, if everything is terrible, that we can all just die right
, but no, there is somethingwe're fighting for love and our
children and those moments ofhappiness.
So like we have to see that.
(37:13):
If we don't see that and we'renot taking the time to
acknowledge that Everyone canand should have access to that,
then are we really telling thestory of the world?
Are we telling anything true?
So that's what I think aboutwhen I'm, when I'm doing this
work, and I try to show imagesthat I haven't Seen before, seen
(37:34):
a lot of, or try to make imagesthat I haven't seen a lot of,
and I'm happy to say that that'sgetting harder and harder
because we have such an influxof, well, it's getting harder
and harder to to, kind of like,make images I haven't seen
before, because so many peopleare doing this wonderful work of
, you know, reframing the visuallexicon of around people of
(37:59):
color, around people fromcolonized nations, around women,
around queer and trans folks,so Around people with
disabilities, like all of thesedifferent communities are being
shown now in their, you know,beautiful Entity, their
complexity, the nuance, and soI'm, I'm happy that you know, I
(38:21):
just sometimes I'm like Alright,like I don't even know if I
need to tell this story, likeeight other people are doing it.
Ijeoma Kola (38:29):
That's great.
Tara Pixley (38:30):
Yeah, something else I need to tell you.
Ijeoma Kola (38:32):
I love that the field, you feel like the field
is already moving in thedirection that your goal of
educating the future generationof journalists it's like it's
already coming to life.
You are having to do less ofthe work because there are more
and more people who are tellingthe stories that You're
interested in capturing andtelling those stories of joy,
(38:52):
those stories of optimism, thosestories of resilience that
you're a hundred percent right.
They're so rarely shown and so,but like without them, like
what is there to be fighting for?
Like why are we struggling?
So I, I really like thatperspective, especially as
someone who, you know, in thepast couple of months has
started to feel pretty likepessimistic about life.
(39:14):
I Think it's such a greatreminder that we need to see Joy
, we need to see us livinghappily Together in community
with one another, because that'swhat really keeps us going and
drives us forward.
So thanks so much for doing thework and for inspiring others
to do the work as well.
So two short questions.
We ask all of our guests toreflect a little bit about their
(39:36):
own doctoral journey and thengive some advice.
So first question is what isone thing that you would do
differently, if any, if you hadto do your doctoral journey all
over again?
Tara Pixley (39:48):
I would go to a university that offered me a
better package financial packageBecause you know I mentioned, I
went to the university thatwanted me.
I wish that I had been in aposition to continue applying
and also just I Didn't know.
(40:10):
I mean, I wrote like my, mymaterials, my application
channels are so embarrassingbecause I didn't know what I was
supposed to be writing to.
I didn't.
I didn't have an advisor thatwas like this is what this is.
So I was just kind of followingthe prompts and trying to make
sense of it.
So I know that you know I couldhave gotten into Different
schools that maybe the programsort of had more aligned with
(40:32):
what I'm very happy with what Iended up Doing, because UCSB had
their communication department,had such a great like
intellectually interdisciplinaryand and methodologically
interdisciplinary space, so andthat was very, you know,
formative and beneficial for me,whereas I would have gone to
(40:55):
like another, like a morejournalism focused, the
university might not have gotten, or Program rather might not
have gotten as much out of it.
So I think, be open to a Adifferent experience than you
might have thought you needed,but also like get that money
like be really realistic aboutwhat you need to survive,
(41:15):
because we my first couple yearsof grad school as a TA, I was
making $18,000 raising twochildren in Southern California.
So I had to take out a ton ofstudent loans just for us to
live.
I Didn't have to pay, you know,call it.
Everything was like that waspaid for which, and that was the
first time I had had healthinsurance as an adult.
(41:37):
Like that was really incrediblebecause I couldn't afford it as
a journalist and there are somany things that were
financially beneficial.
But making 18k, like being underthe poverty line, like so much
of academia is predicated onthis idea that you have some
kind of generational wealth orthat you have like a partner who
(41:57):
is making money and I don't youknow, I don't think that they,
you know the powers that youeven realize that that is like
what it's structured on, even atthis point, as we've been doing
so much pushback againstAcademia's ivory tower.
So if you can be honest withyourself about your financial
situation and be really adamantlike this is what I need to
(42:19):
survive, I think that's reallyimportant, while also
maintaining, you know, havingsome space for it to be like
you're not gonna make a salary,right, it's not gonna, it's not
gonna be the same as like you'restill gonna struggle a little
bit.
It's not not for you to likemake money, but yeah make sure
you can live.
(42:39):
You know, like that's what.
That's what I would say Don'tbe so like don't, don't feel so,
beholden to that piece of paperthat says congratulations,
you've been, you know you're inour program, like if they're not
offering you what you need tolive, then they're not offering
you anything worth youconsidering.
Ijeoma Kola (42:58):
Mmm.
Yeah, so that was a reflectionon your journey combined with a
piece of advice.
So thank you so much, dr Pixley, for joining us on the cohort
sisters podcast.
First, terry, your story howyou got to and through your
doctoral degree despite, despitea lot of odds Against you,
despite people trying toactively push you out, but I am
(43:19):
so excited to hear that you notonly persevered but you're
continuing to do the work oftraining the next generation of
journalism scholars bytransforming journalism
education.
We will include in the shownotes places for folks to see
all of your amazing work.
I was like on your website suchbeautiful photo journalism that
you do.
So I'm really excited for otherpeople to see your work.
(43:40):
And congratulations again onthe new role and safe travels.
I guess in two years, when Oneyear.
Tara Pixley (43:49):
I've already done my my first year, and now my son
is finishing his senior year,so we go one more year and then
I'm coming to Philly.
Ijeoma Kola (43:55):
Nice, nice, nice.
Well, thanks again for joiningus today.
Thank you so much.
Tara Pixley (44:00):
I really appreciate all the work that you do
telling the story, telling ourstories and bringing that to a
wider audience.
So thank you so much for yourlabor and your brilliance and
your time Absolutely.
Ijeoma Kola (44:45):
You.
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