Episode Transcript
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(00:04):
On this edition of the Colorbetween the Lines.
to tell me to my face,you know, you're only there for
affirmative action.
You know thatyou're not qualified to be here.
We hear froma black CEO who built
an organization that supportssingle mothers.
Like she wantedto be supported when
her marriage ended in divorce.
Foreign I'm EstherForeign I'm Esther
Foreign I'm EstherDillard chatting with
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Dillard chatting withDillard chatting with
writers, authorswriters, authors
writers, authorsand experts who offer
and experts who offerand experts who offer
an added perspectivean added perspective
an added perspectivefor listeners.
for listeners.
for listeners.
This is the colorThis is the color
This is the colorbetween the lines.
between the lines.
between the lines.
As you know, hereon the color between
the lines, I tryto elevate authors.
But this next guest is more thanjust an author.
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SA.
SA.
She's a former CEO and boss thatbuilt a business that supports
black women thatare single mothers that are
interested in stem.
But she's really more than that.
She has an incredible story thatincludes marriage,
divorce and dyingduring childbirth.
Here's part of myinterview with Vicki
Wright Hamilton.
Well, your book, GameFace, it explores
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really a journeyas a black woman in
a very male dominatedindustry of tech.
I always admire peoplethat are in tech
because it, it's, itwas, it is a challenge
getting in that gameand staying in it.
What inspired you to write thismemoir, which is
extremely personal?
How did you and how didyour experiences
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shape the themesthat are inside?
You know, I will tell you that Iwas not going to write the book.
My mother is the one who.
My mother and mybrother were the ones
that were reallyinspired that inspired
me to do so.
I had gone throughso many challenges
and one of the things I used toalways say is everybody sees the
glory, but they don't know thestory.
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And my brother usedto say, well, if
that's the case, whydon't you tell it?
And I said, nobody cares whatI have to say.
Everybody's gota story, so why should
I write the book?
Long story short,I ended up putting
the book togetherand I was able to get it written
and the e copy made.
Before my mother died,she actually wanted
to see the hardcopy, but the hard copy came out
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the week she passed.
But anyway, as Iwrote the book, I
started thinkingabout, you know, as
a black woman intechnology at the
time, I was goingthrough all of my learnings and
lessons.
There's so manythings that people didn't know.
Here's the blessing.
I got promotedevery two years, my
entire career.
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But here was some of the cursewas realizing that
I didn't necessarilyget promoted because of my
skill sets or competency.
I got promoted so thatI could look like
they had diversity.
Now how did I know that?
Because every time itcame to talk about
diversity, who do theyhave in the forefront?
Me.
Only me, because Iwas the only one.
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So as I began tonavigate some of
these waters, I said,you know what?
As black women, we face so much.
Who's going to bethe person that's going to be
authentic and real?
Who's going to letthem know what these
challenges are,but more importantly,
what are strategiesto overcome them?
And not just professionally,personally, because
we'll walk in the door, we'rea total person.
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So I took thesestrategies that I
learned the hard wayand figured out how I
could make it workfor me, for my
emotional, mental andphysical well being.
And in terms of makingthat happen, I wanted
to share the news.
I wanted to help otherwomen that are facing
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these same challenges.
Wait a minute.
If I can overcome, you can too.
So that's how thesestrategies have
shaped me to moveforward, to lean back
on when recognizing,recognizing that, you
know, these arethings that are going
to happen that out ofyour control, but you
can survive, you canmake it and you can
turn things around.
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Now I understand fromwhat, I understand
your strategy.
Part of that is the name of thisbook, Game Face.
And you explain in thebook what Game Face
is, Explain to ouraudience what that
means to you and howit just kind of
guided you throughoutyour career.
Yes.
So for me, you know,when people first hear
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Game Face, they thinkthat you don't want
to be authentic.
I'm talking aboutjust the opposite.
I'm talking about beingauthentic, but being
able to be seen,letting yourself
understand even thethings that are around
you that you, that youcan't see.
Everything is a game.
Life is a game.
Everything we do is a game.
So when you go intothis environment,
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you're trying tofigure out, how do I
play this game to win?
What do I need to do?
How do I need topresent myself so that
they know that I'mjust as successful.
So it's about being authentic.
It's about being ableto learn how things
work and read the tealeaves, the story that
nobody ever tells youthe things that are
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not painted, thethings that are not
told, but you'reexpected to know.
So I wanted to givemy audience something
to relate to because guess what?
We all have to goin to figure out how am I going
to survive today,but more importantly,
how am I going to thriveand move forward.
You highlight inthe book that back in
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college you dealtwith a particular
professor who willremain unnamed.
That kind of helped you developthat game face
strategy and how yousaid you used that
as fuel to kindof navigate challenges in your.
In the corporate world.
If you could talka little bit about
what that was and howthat changed things.
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Absolutely.
So when I wentto college, I ended up
going, transferring,going to a college.
My father was a professor inthe finance department
and my chairman of my.
Of the computer science and MISdepartment was around
the corner from himand I had taken a
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test and he loved togo run to my dad and
tell him what I couldand could not do.
So he came and told myfather that I failed
this test and thatmaybe I needed
to change my major.
I won't go into what happened atthe household around
dinner table.
Let's just say my mamadidn't put up with
that and she didn'tstand for that.
And she was like,you don't listen
to what they say.
Let's go, we gonna fix this.
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Needless to say, ashe told me that I would not be
successful and thatI really needed to
think about changingmy major because I
failed this test.
I said, okay.
So I worked hard.
I ended up getting a Bout of this class.
After I graduated, I got readyto go to work.
I got my first job,and my salary of my first job
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was more than his.
I waited about threeor four months and I wrote him
a letter and I said,hi, how are you?
I just wanted tolet you know what
a failing person inMIS looks like.
This is where I amin my, my salary
and what I'm doingand the things
that I'm navigatingand moving forward to
hope things are great.
And I put a copy of myfirst check in it.
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Now I gotta tell you,that felt good,
but I wasn't quitesatisfied yet.
Couple years go by and I getpromoted again.
And I sent thisletter and I said,
hey, I just thoughtI'd check in.
Not only am I notsuccessful, but I just
got promoted after twoyears of working.
And I want you to know,here's my new title,
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here's what I'm doing,and guess what?
This is my raise.
And I sent hima copy of my check, knowing that
it was 40% morethan he was making, and he was
the chairman of a department.
Oh, my goodness.
What did that do for your.
Your.
What it did for me was to let meknow that they don't
know the end.
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They don't knowwhat you're capable of doing.
And don't let anybody limit you.
If you listen to thatnoise and let it get
in your head, youwon't move forward.
I was bound and determined.
I come from a mother that was anadvocate, a father
who was an advocate,who fought for their
rights through civilrights and all the rest of it.
And they just did not allow meto hear the noise
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that you can't.
So I just use thatnegativity for
positivity and say,okay, I'm going to show you.
Tell me what I can't do.
Let me show you.
And that's what I did.
I know that one of themost, I think,
impactful chapters ofthis book was when you
shared a personalmoment about when your
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husband decided toleave you when you had
just had a baby.
And I was just devastated afterreading that.
I had to kind of putthe book down and kind
of walk away for a little bit.
How did thatexperience shape who
you are today and howyou handle things
when it comes to, you know, yourprofessional relationship with
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other women who are single moms?
Well, I will tellyou that it was heartbreaking
for me as well.
I had known my husband 15 yearsbefore we married.
We were best friends.
And what I learned fromthat experience is
some best friends needto stay best friends
and not becomehusbands, number one.
But number two, whatI didn't recognize
was the jealousy that existed.
I didn't recognize howmuch he looked at as
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his male role, role aswhat he should do.
And recognizing thateven though he came to
Minnesota, where I wasand I was able to help
him find a job, hefelt like he needed to
stay where he was tomake his career go forward.
I had asked him aboutgetting a promotion,
told him that whileI was pregnant, I
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had an opportunity.
Should I go for it?
He said yes.
The problem is hedidn't expect me to
get it, but I got it.
And so it meanta relocation, but we
were going to becloser to home, to our families.
And his mother hada lot of implications
of being able to tell him thatshe got yours.
You got to get yours,you got to keep yours.
So that made me really sit downand evaluate what was
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important to me.
Needless to say, wedivorced that experience
from a personal levelalso resonated for me
professionally.
To understand thateverybody doesn't
want you to succeed.
Everybody is not in a positionto accept that.
It may not be liketradition was.
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It's not likethe man is making all the money
and the woman isn't.
And it's not likeyou should have to
apologize for that.
You have some reallygreat insights in this book.
For those of you whoare just joining us,
I'm Esther Dillardwith the Color between
the Lines on the BlackInformation Network,
and we are speakingwith executive coach
and author VickiWright Hamilton.
The book is calledGame Face Corporate
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Success Strategiesof a Trailblazing Tech Warrior.
What is the last onelesson that you'd like
those who are readersof your book Game Face
to take away?
And what would that be?
When you read thisbook, the one thing I
want you to look at isnot just the
professional and theprofessional
strategies, but I wantyou to think about
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individually, even personally.
Yes, I'm vulnerable inthis book, but I think
it's important for usto help each other
to understand.
How do you dealwith personal trials
and tribulationsand still continue to succeed?
Whether it's divorce,whether it's rape,
whether somebodyleaves you after a
baby, whether it'sthere's lots of things that can
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occur, we can't change it.
But what you can do is be moreprepared for it.
So I would encourageyou to truly look at
the personal strategies that arein here of things
from lessons that I learned thathopefully you won't
have to step in thesame hole that you
can succeed going forward.
Vicki's story isalso highlighted in
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a documentary calledthe Diary of Successful Black
Single Mothers.
The film sharesthe stories of other
black single mothers with theirextended families.
It's a network thatsupports women and they share
principles Vicki usesin her own life.
Here's a short clipfrom the film.
Dear Diary, Myrelationship with my
parents influenced myrelationship with my
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kids drastically.
I have parents that have beentogether 40 years.
I wanted somethingsimilar to that.
The way my mom talkedto me wasn't normal.
It wasn't right.
And I just wantedto get away from it.
In the process of me gettingthe application to get
married, I found outwho I was actually
getting married to.
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A known drug dealerin and out of jail.
He was getting readyto go to Afghanistan.
We tried the relationship thing.
It just didn't work out.
He was my collegesweetheart and we went
through quite a fewups and downs.
He kind of like disappeared.
He just wasn'tthe person for me.
He said, I'll give you the moneyfor the abortion.
I said, no, you won't.
I'm having my baby.
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He left me.
He became a gooddad right before he got killed.
Well, where canlisteners now find
your book and connectwith you to learn more
about all the servicesand the great things
that you're you'redoing these days?
Well, thank you so muchfor asking, Esther.
They can contact me onmy website at
www.vickywhitehamilton.com.
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you can get the book there.
You can set upa discovery call with
me, give me a ring.
I would love to havea conversation
with you and see howwe might be able to
partner together.
And that's V I C K I W R I G H TH A I L T O N com.
If you'd like whatyou heard, be sure to subscribe
to the Color betweenthe lines on iHeartRadio or
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wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Esther Dillard,and this is the Color
between the Lines.