July 11, 2025 • 41 mins
Attitude is the single most important factor in survival situations and in everyday life success. Your mental approach determines your outcomes far more than education, background, or even physical resources.
• Protecting your attitude like your life depends on it is essential because it truly does
• Attitude reserves function like a gas tank that needs regular filling to keep you going through challenges
• Negative people ("Eeyores") can drain your attitude reserves by consistently finding problems in everything
• Sometimes you must distance yourself from negative people who refuse to stop dragging you down
• Past baggage and resentments weigh you down unnecessarily and prevent forward movement
• Appreciation for what you have creates a foundation for positivity and success
• Surrounding yourself with positive people who build you up is crucial for attitude maintenance
• Laughter, movement, helping others, and taking action toward goals all build attitude reserves
• Embracing your imperfections while continuing to improve is the balanced approach to self-development
• Starting each day with gratitude sets a positive tone that impacts everything else
Head over to terrielfossum.com to pick up your free gifts and learn more about breaking through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host, Terry LFossum.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
L Fossum Bolt.
Number four that we're going toblow is a bad attitude.
Now, if you've read anyself-improvement books or
listened to any recordings atall, you know they all talk
about how important it is tohave a good attitude.
So I'm going to start by takinga bit of a different approach.
This is all about breaking thebolts that bind you, that hold
you back.
So I'm not going to talk abouthaving a good attitude.
I'm going to talk about gettingrid of the bad attitude,
(00:52):
because, let's face it, if youhad a perfect attitude, you
wouldn't need to be listening tothese recordings.
So let's get started.
I'll begin with words ofwarning.
There are attacks on ourattitude continuously throughout
our day.
Social media, that was supposedto be a great way for us all to
be connected, has turned into ahotbed of negativity.
(01:16):
The news, which is supposed tobe reporting factual happenings,
has turned into sensationalismspecifically designed to create
negative emotions in us.
I want to make sure you knowthat.
Let me ask you is it working?
Absolutely, it is.
As a result of these things andmore, it seems like people
(01:37):
around us are more negative thanever, doesn't it?
And that's saying something.
We're being bombarded more thanever in the history of humanity
with negative, negative,negative, negative, negative.
And, let's face it, it wears usdown over time, doesn't it?
And that's why this recordingis so important.
Now, I know, I know you'veprobably listened to a million
(02:01):
things that say have a greatattitude, but there's a reason
for that.
The truth is and please listenvery closely, listen very
closely you need to protect yourattitude, like your life
depends on it, because it doesTruly.
What kind of a life you havecompletely depends on your
(02:23):
attitude.
How much success you have, howyour relationships are, how much
you enjoy every minute of everyday or not, depends on your
attitude.
You need to protect yourattitude, like your life depends
on it because it does.
An avid outdoor adventurer, I'vedone survival much of my life.
I taught wilderness survivalmarabaj as a youth.
(02:46):
I've done jungle survival deepin the Amazon, swimming with the
piranhas and the electriceagles and such.
I backpacked alone deep intothe Arctic Circle as well as
Death Valley in the badlads ofSouth Dakota, climbed into the
mountains of Rwanda searchingfor the elusive silverback
gorillas.
I've ridden camels in thedeserts of Egypt, canoeing
expeditions into the mountainsof Rwanda searching for the
elusive silverback gorillas.
I've ridden camels in thedeserts of Egypt, canoeing
(03:08):
expeditions into the Ketako.
I've done wilderness adventuretravel in different parts of the
world.
I was even recently on asurvival reality show.
So I get asked all the time in asurvival situation, what is the
single most important factor Ina survival situation?
What's the single mostimportant factor?
(03:28):
So let me turn this around toyou.
What do you think it is?
What's the most importantfactor in all of survival?
Well, it's getting food right.
I mean, you can't live if youdon't eat.
Actually, yes, you can.
You can live up to 30 days ormore without eating.
(03:50):
On that survival reality show Iwas on, the premise of it was
there was 10 survival expertsand we were all paired with a
novice, somebody who hadn't evencamped out in their backyard
before.
And it was pretty hilarious whosome of these novices were.
Well, one of these novices wereWell, one of them was a model
(04:12):
and I mean this model was thereal deal.
Okay, they flew her into Parisand everywhere else.
You've probably seen her on TVor print.
When I first met her, I figuredshe wouldn't last two weeks
because she basically has zeroextra body fat on her body and
in survival, fat stores equalsenergy when you're not eating.
I figured she'd lose strengthand drop out, but I really
didn't know her yet.
(04:33):
She had an inner strength thatfew people in the world have and
that kept her going near theend for over a month in the
jungle, with extremely littlefood.
See, I lost 25 pounds on theshow, if that's any indication
of how little we were eating,and I promise you she didn't
have 25 pounds to lose A monthin.
(04:54):
She was way past any fat storesthat she had.
So her body was eating its ownmuscle and internal organs, and
yet she fought on.
Okay, so it's not food, food'snot the most important one.
Okay, well, it must be water.
Well, you're getting closer.
As the survival rule of thumbis, you can only go about three
(05:17):
days without water Now,depending on a lot of
circumstances, of course, butabout three days is the rule of
thumb.
But, believe it or not, that'snot the most important thing
either.
Okay, then it must be shelter.
If you're not sheltered fromthe elements, you can die of
exposure in hours or evenminutes through heat stroke or
hypothermia.
But even still, that's not themost important factor.
(05:40):
Okay, if those aren't the singlemost important factor in all of
survival.
Then what is it?
You ready for this one?
Here we go, it's attitude,that's it.
That is the single mostimportant factor in all of
survival attitude.
I mean, can you imagine someonetrying to survive with a bad
attitude?
Oh my God, we're lost.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
(06:00):
We don't have food, we don'thave shelter.
There's lions and tigers andbears.
We're going to get eaten alive,and that's only if the weather
doesn't kill us first.
My God, I just got a splinter.
I'm sure it's going to get aneffect.
I'm going to die.
Tell my wife I love her.
Yeah, you're going to die,because the people with you just
might well kill you, so theydon't have to listen to your
whining anymore.
Having a bad attitude in asurvival situation is probably
(06:24):
the most detrimental thing thatcould possibly happen.
If you panic, you die Plain andsimple.
A good attitude will help keepyou from panicking in any
situation.
A bad attitude you're alreadygone, and I'm here to tell you
that's true in every aspect oflife.
Every single aspect of yourlife your financial success,
(06:48):
your relationships, your abilityto reach your goals, even how
you spend your free time isdependent on your attitude.
The importance of yourbackground greatly pales in
comparison to it.
Your education pales incomparison to it.
Even your IQ pales incomparison to it.
Wait a minute.
(07:08):
Am I telling you that attitudeis way more important than any
of those things?
You don't see attitude on aresume, yeah, but you do see it
in success rates.
You do see it in actual results.
That's right.
I could take a poor person froma terrible background with no
education and no training andhelp them be extremely
(07:31):
successful if they have a goodattitude.
But you give me a rich, ivyLeague educated individual with
all the connections in the world, but a bad attitude.
Probably not a single thing Ican do for them except help them
with a good attitude.
If they're willing to do whatit takes to do that, then the
sky's the limit, even for them.
(07:54):
See, I'm here to tell you thatall of the successes that I've
had throughout my entire lifearen't because I'm necessarily
any smarter than anyone or moretalented or anything else.
It's because I work hard,starting as a kid, to develop a
good attitude.
If you saw me driving down theroad in high school, I might be
listening to some very loudheavy metal music, classical
(08:16):
music or Zig Ziglar.
Yeah, I was kind of a weird kid, but even when I grew up
surrounded by gangs and drugsand everything else going on
back then, I was learning todevelop a good attitude.
Hey, I'm the first to admitthat on the survival show I was
on, there were people there withmuch better survival skills
(08:37):
than me.
There were people there whowere stronger than me.
Every single person on the showwas younger than me, but no one
no one, had a better attitudethan me.
And why is this?
Because I've worked hard tobuild it and to guard my
attitude all of my life.
Now does that mean that it'salways been rainbows, bunnies
and unicorns?
No, listen.
(08:57):
People often mistake what havinga good attitude actually means.
They think it means that you'rehappy all the time and that you
always look on the bright side,no matter what.
I'm going to disagree.
I'm not sure that's part of it,but it's certainly not all of
it.
My father was killed when I wasin high school.
I was devastated.
(09:17):
My whole family was devastated.
One of my worst memories in myentire life was hearing my
oldest brother wailing inanguish in our backyard.
My mom and dad were deeply inlove.
They had the fairytalerelationship that you only read
about in books.
They never had a single fight.
(09:38):
And now my mom would have tolive the rest of her years
without the love of her life.
Folks, there's no bright sideto this.
Mom would have to live the restof her years without the love
of her life.
Folks, there's no bright sideto this.
This is not a time to be happy,but it is the most important
time for a good attitude.
The attitude in this case isthis is horrible, but together
(10:01):
we're going to get through this.
We will prevail, we will carryon.
See, having a good attitudereally matters.
When the times are tough, it'seasy.
When the times are good, prettymuch everyone can have one when
everything's going great.
But when the times are horribleI mean really really horrible
that's when it's critical.
(10:22):
That's when you have to digdown deep into the depths of
your soul and go, no matter whatI can, and I will carry on.
This may sideline metemporarily, but by the grace of
God, I will get through this.
That's why it's so critical tobuild and protect your attitude
every single day, so you have itnot just to excel, but
(10:44):
sometimes, even more importantly, to survive.
Now, this is a concept that Icall attitude reserves.
It's the same concept as gas inyour gas tank.
If your gas tank is full, youcan go a long way.
If it's empty, you're not goinganywhere.
If you're driving an electricvehicle, I already get it.
(11:05):
Battery same thing.
You understand.
Obviously, you need to keepadding gas or power so you can
keep going because you use iteverywhere you go In the same
manner.
You only have a certain amountof attitude reserves to draw
from when you need them.
If your reserves get low, yourattitude will start to tank.
(11:27):
If you've ever said or thoughtthings like, look, I'm just fed
up with it all, okay, I'm justtired of it, or I just can't
take it anymore, then you are atthe end of your attitude
reserves.
If you've ever been a parent,you've probably thought those
things several times.
Have you ever noticed thatsometimes you just don't deal
with people or situations aswell as well other times?
(11:50):
That's because your attitudereserves were low.
That's why it's so critical tobuild and protect your attitude
every single day.
You need to take actions thatbuild those reserves and stay
away from actions that draw fromthem.
So we're going to talk aboutboth of those things Certainly
how to build those reserves, butfirst of all, how to make sure
(12:12):
circumstances and people neverdraw from them again.
Okay, here we go.
Let me ask you a question whowould you rather hang out with,
tigger or Eeyore?
I mean, you know what Eeyore'slike Probably gonna rain today
Again, and Tigger's likehoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, it's a
(12:33):
beautiful day.
Who would you rather hang outwith Tigger?
Right?
Eeyore's a drag.
And let me ask you this who doyou think has more fun?
Who has more friends?
Who is more successful?
Who makes more money?
Who has better relationships,etc.
Etc.
Etc.
No doubt about it.
(12:53):
Tigger's our man.
He's always bouncing aroundwith joy.
I love his quote.
Oh, stop that gloomy rumination.
All you need is a little bit oftiggerization.
I love that.
Come on, it's funny.
But we've all known someEeyores.
Right, probably won't reach ourquotas this month anyway.
Why even try?
You know what the secret isDon't be an Eeyore.
(13:16):
Whatever you do, don't hangaround with them.
So how do you recognize theEeyores in life?
One trait is what I call theyeah but syndrome.
It's the identifying call ofthe Eeyores yeah, but yeah.
But Now here's what I mean.
Okay, you try to look on thebright side and they tear it
(13:40):
down with their identifying call.
Yeah, but You're like man.
Look at that beautiful sunrise.
It's a bright, sunshiny day.
Yeah, but I'll probably getsunburned.
Man, look how fast the trafficis moving.
Yeah, but at this speed we'llprobably be in an accident.
Things are looking great forthis quarter.
Yeah, but the stock market willprobably crash.
(14:02):
They're always looking for areason to talk down about
someone or something.
It's not that they don't alwayslook at the bright side.
They forgot.
A bright side even exists.
And here's anotherself-identifying trait of an
Eeyore.
Now, we talked about it before.
Have you ever heard someone sayknowing my luck, something bad
will happen?
That's the call of an Eeyore.
(14:23):
We just closed a huge deal.
Knowing my luck, the financeswill probably fall through.
We're going on a beautiful hikein the mountains.
Knowing my luck, I'll get eatenby a bear.
You just won a million dollars.
Knowing my luck, I'll have aheart attack.
These people can find a negativefor every positive.
They can find a cloud for everysilver lining.
(14:44):
When life gives them lemons,they suddenly decide they're
allergic to lemons.
What's worse, everyone elseshould be too.
Have you ever run into peoplelike that?
They're everywhere.
People ask me all the time how Ihave such a positive attitude.
Okay, here we go.
It's simple.
I choose to.
That's simple, I choose to.
That's right, I choose to.
(15:06):
It is that simple.
Now, I'm not saying it's thateasy, but it is that simple.
Listen, your attitude is 100% upto you and no one else.
Well, sometimes people make meangry.
No, they don't.
They may do bad things, but youchoose to get angry.
(15:27):
You choose your response totheir actions.
Well, sometimes circumstancesget me down.
No, they don't.
Circumstances can't controlyour emotions.
Only you can.
Yes, bad things happen.
I know They've happened to me.
Have I been sad?
Yes, have I been angry?
Yes, have I been angry?
Yes, will you too, withoutquestion.
The only question is how longare we going to stay there?
(15:49):
And that is completely in yourcontrol.
That's your choice.
You have to guard your attitudelike your life depends on it,
because it does and this iscritical.
Listen you have to stay awayfrom the Eeyores.
You have to stay away from thenegative people.
(16:09):
Now, I realize that can bechallenging at times.
How do you deal with thenegative people in your life?
Okay, get this.
And this is going to be kind ofmaybe a little odd for you.
I've taught wilderness first aidfor years, including how to
save a drowning swimmer, and thetechnique really might surprise
.
You See, first you see someonestruggling, so you swim out to
(16:30):
them and they smile, thank youand gently hold on to you while
you safely bring them to shore.
Right Wrong, they're freakingout, they're panicking, they're
tripping out, they start to grabonto you and can push you under
the water in that panickedstate.
That's the way it really goes.
That's what really happens.
(16:52):
So what do you do?
Well, first of all, you talk tothem.
I need you to calm down.
You're going to be all right,I've got you.
Look me in the eyes.
You're going to be okay.
Hopefully that'll work.
But sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes they keep freakingout.
They don't listen.
They keep grabbing on andpushing you down under the water
(17:12):
.
Talking is not going to work.
So what do you do?
You cold cock them, that'sright.
You punch them in the face.
You try to knock them out.
Seriously, that's what you do.
It might hurt them a little bit, but it'll certainly calm them
down so you can work with them.
But what if that doesn't work?
What if they continue trying topull you down?
You give them one last chance.
(17:33):
Look, if you don't stop tryingto pull me down, I'm going to
have to leave you.
I'm going to have to swim away.
And if that doesn't work, whatdo you do?
You don't actually swim away,do you?
I mean, that seems cruel.
Yeah, you do.
That's exactly what you do.
Listen, let's face it.
Either way they're going todrown.
(17:55):
Either way they're going todrown, but one way they're going
to take you down with them.
Now, obviously, it's the samething with the negative people
around you, and I've personallyhad to do this many times myself
, even with those who are veryclose to me.
(18:16):
If they're being intenselynegative, including putting me
down first, I'll talk to themSomething like John, why would
you say something like that?
Oh, I'm just being honest.
No, you're being rude and I'mgoing to ask you not to be rude
to me.
I deserve to be treated better.
If it continues, it's time tohit them between the eyes.
(18:38):
One of my favorite lines is andthis is just my lines you do it.
However, it works for you.
Here's one of my favorite lines.
John, you know there are manythings I like about you and I'd
like to continue to be aroundyou, but I don't allow people to
continuously put me down.
I know you think you're joking,but every time you say
something like that, it makes methink you actually believe it.
(18:58):
Even worse, every time you saysomething like that, I actually
believe it a little bit moremyself.
Now I've had people come backwith me and say sarcastically oh
poor Terry, am I hurting yourfeelings and my answer is to
look them straight in the eyesand say with a very firm voice,
yes, and I won't allow it.
(19:19):
Friends, don't treat each otherthat way.
If you continue to treat methat way, we're no longer
friends.
Do we have an understanding?
Let me ask you something.
Who's in charge now?
See, they're trying to bullyyou, and if there's one thing
I've learned about bullies, theyback down when confronted.
They're not strong, they'reactually weak, and that's why
(19:41):
they try to put up such a strongfront.
People automatically try tobring others to their own level.
Someone who feels badly aboutthemselves tries to bring others
down to their level.
Someone who feels good aboutthemselves tries to bring others
up to their level.
So, if it continues, what do Ido?
(20:03):
You guessed it I walk away.
They may drown, but they're nottaking me down with them.
Always keep in mind that, aboveall, it's the people you hang
around that have the most effecton you.
This is important, guys.
If you hang around withnegative people, you will become
(20:23):
one Period.
Do you want the people aroundyou to bring you up or tear you
down?
It's your choice by the type ofpeople you hang around with.
People automatically try tobring others to their own level.
Now am I saying that you mighthave to get rid of some of your
current friends?
Absolutely, you bet I am.
(20:51):
Cut them out, have afriendectomy.
I know that might sound a bitharsh, but it's critical.
Remember you need to protectyour attitude, like your life
depends on it, because it does.
Every single aspect of yourlife depends on it.
So if you have a drowningswimmer that won't listen to you
even when you hit them betweenthe eyes metaphorically, then
you must swim away.
Don't let them take you downwith them.
(21:11):
So that's the negative peoplein your life.
What about the negative memories?
So let me ask you have you everseen people trying to run
through an airport?
They're trying to get to theirgate on time, carrying all those
big bags, breathing hard,sweating, struggling, and all
that baggage is just weighingthem down, making that trip as
hard as physically possible.
(21:33):
And we may wonder man, why didthey pack so much crap?
How did they even try to runwith all that weight holding
them down?
They will never make it therewith all that baggage.
It ain't going to happen.
And yet that's what many of usare doing every single day,
isn't it?
There's baggage in your own pastthat you're still carrying with
(21:56):
you.
It could be bad relationshipsor bad experiences or who knows
what.
There are things that happenedyears ago and you're still
carrying them with you.
It could be someone who wrongedyou years ago that you still
have a grudge against.
Let me ask you have you everhad an argument with someone and
played it over and over andover again in your head?
(22:17):
Why Did it make it better?
No, it just kept us ticked offlonger.
Did it make it better?
No, it just kept us ticked offlonger.
It just held us down.
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
Or maybe you feel you've beencheated by life itself.
You didn't start with the bestcircumstances.
Maybe you don't feel like youwere born with the gifts that
others were born with.
(22:37):
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
Maybe something terriblehappened to you.
I'm sorry, I really am, but nowit's baggage.
You've got to let it go.
Car something terrible happenedto you.
I'm sorry, I really am, but nowit's baggage.
You've got to let it go.
Carrying that baggage with youjust continues the pain.
You keep reliving it andreliving it and reliving it, and
that continues to wear you downlong after it actually happened
(22:58):
.
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
There have been many otherpeople that terrible things have
happened to.
Oprah Winfrey is just one ofthem.
Terrible things, and yet theylet it go.
It's what you need to do also.
You've got to drop the baggage.
See, in backpacking we have aphrase for how much gear you
(23:18):
carry Ounces equals pounds andpounds equals miles.
Let me say that again Ouncesequals pounds and pounds equals
miles.
In other words, all the littlethings the ounces add up to big
things the pounds and carryingthose extra pounds means you
can't go as far as you'd like to.
You can't go as many miles.
(23:41):
Ounces equals pounds and poundsequals miles.
My wife's purse, my wife's purse, is the same way.
At some point, when hershoulder starts hurting, she
finally realizes her purse hasbecome heavy as heck.
Just carrying its weight iswearing her down.
So finally she decides to findout why and starts to unpack all
(24:04):
of that baggage.
She pours it out and it'samazing what all she's been
carrying around for all of theseweeks.
By the way, I got her approvalto tell this story before I told
it, so we're good.
So first of all, in her pursethere are several dollars worth
of spare change.
I mean you could feed a familyof four for a week on just the
change alone.
And each coin alone does awaymuch, maybe an ounce or two, but
(24:28):
if you add a bunch of ittogether it's pounds, baby.
And then there's keys Keys towho knows what, locks that are
long forgotten, and each one byitself again doesn't weigh much,
but it all adds up and pins.
You'd think there was aballpoint factory.
Actually in her purse there'sso many pins.
It's amazing what ends up in apurse.
(24:50):
And all of those ounces add upto pounds that get needlessly
carried around, just like all ofus in our lives.
Listen, you have to unpack yourbaggage.
Think about it.
I mean this what baggage haveyou been carrying with you?
What bad relationships orexperiences have you been
(25:11):
carrying with you?
Allowing them to hold you backAgain?
Carrying it with you does youno good at all.
It only allows that person orthose circumstances to continue
to control you.
Don't let them anymore.
Don't let those people controlyou anymore.
Don't let those circumstancescontrol you anymore.
(25:33):
It's time to let it go.
It's time to let it go.
It's time to drop the baggage.
Okay, now the flip side of thecoin.
You're getting rid of the bad.
Now you have more room for good.
You know, again, we read allthese things about improving
your attitude, improving yourattitude, but my belief is that
(25:55):
you can only do so much withoutgetting rid of the bad.
You've got to get rid of thatbad baggage so you have room for
the good, otherwise you'regoing to have that yeah, but
thing going on all the time.
So we've gotten rid of the bad.
Now we have more room for thegood.
Let's start putting more goodin your life.
Would you be interested to knowthe things that I personally do
(26:16):
to build up my attitude,enabling me to do everything
I've done?
Well, hopefully, you said yes,because that's what we're going
to do here.
Okay, and this is serious, I dothese things Absolutely and it
really, really helps.
Strategy number one you need toappreciate what you've got.
You need to appreciate whatyou've got.
(26:37):
You need to appreciate whatyou've got, and a lot of times
we've heard that.
Perhaps you've heard that, butyet we don't do it enough, or
else we'd all have a lot betterattitudes.
Quite frankly, let me ask you aquestion Did you wake up alive
today?
Did you wake up alive today?
What do you mean?
Of course you did.
It's not guaranteed, is it?
Do you realize that some peoplewoke up this morning dead?
(27:00):
Okay, they didn't actually wakeup I think that's kind of the
point, but you woke up alive.
That's awesome, congratulations.
That's a big deal.
It's a huge deal.
And did you appreciate it?
We need to every single morning.
Let me ask you, when you openedyour eyes, could you see?
You could man.
You need to celebrate becausethere's a lot of people out
(27:22):
there who couldn't.
There's even people listeningto this audio who couldn't.
And look, it's not holding themback from pursuing their dreams
and their goals.
I'm betting nothing will dreamsand their goals.
I'm betting nothing will.
Where were you when you woke upthis morning?
Where were you?
(27:46):
In a bedroom?
Wait, hold on.
You had a roof over your head,you had walls, you had safety.
That's amazing.
And before you go, okay, comeon, that's ridiculous.
Okay, listen, understand, I'vebeen to places where they didn't
.
You really probably don'trealize how fortunate you are.
You need to appreciate it, andthe list goes on and on of the
blessings that you have in yourlife.
(28:07):
Do you have anyone at all inyour life who cares about you?
Anyone, anyone at all, whocares about you, maybe even a
pet.
What a blessing.
Do you have any money at all Atall?
What a blessing.
Remember, I've been with peoplewho had absolutely nothing,
nothing.
And you have so much.
Maybe you even have a job, aprofession or a business Not
(28:31):
sure you like your job, guesswhat.
There's people around the worldwho would do anything to have
your job and your home and yourlife.
Millions of people around theglobe would trade places with
you in a heartbeat.
You're so crazy blessed, butyou have to realize it.
Stop focusing on all the thingsthat you don't have and focus
(28:56):
on all the things that you do.
That's a big one.
Stop focusing on all the thingsyou don't have and focus on all
the things that you do.
I'm going to let you in on alittle secret.
This is something that Ipersonally do every single
morning.
Every single morning, everymorning, the first thought, the
(29:17):
absolute first thought in myhead every single morning, every
single morning, every morning,the first thought, the absolute
first thought in my head everysingle morning, is thank you,
god, for the gifts you havegiven me.
Please help me use them foryour service.
Let me say it again for you,this is every single morning.
Thank you, god, for the giftsyou have given me.
Please help me use them in yourservice.
(29:39):
Can you imagine starting everysingle day that way?
Don't imagine Do it.
Write that phrase down, if youneed to, and start every single
day with it.
Just see the difference itmakes in your life and
throughout the day, I'mcontinuously I mean this saying
prayers of thanks for all thegood things that happen, even
(30:00):
the seemingly small things thathappen.
I'm saying prayers of thanksfor them every day.
Living a thankful life fillsyour heart with joy.
Living a thankful life fillsyour heart with joy.
Don't believe in God Okay,that's all right, your gig.
Thank whatever deity youbelieve in, thank the universe,
(30:21):
thank Mother Earth.
I don't care who or what youthank, just be thankful.
Appreciate everything you'vegot, and it'll make a tremendous
difference in your attitude.
Strategy number two we talkedabout not being around negative
people.
The other side of the coin isbe around positive people,
(30:43):
people you like, people who likeyou, the bottom line people who
make you feel good and goodabout yourself.
Let me say that again Be aroundpeople who make you feel good
about yourself.
Now, I don't mean people whofalsely give you compliments.
I mean people who are genuinelyappreciative of you for who you
(31:08):
are, who build you up insteadof tearing you down, people who
believe in you and don't spendtoo much time alone.
That's when the negativethoughts start creeping in.
Despite what we might think,humans are social creatures.
We need socialization, so bearound positive people, seek
(31:33):
them out and do anything withthem.
Strategy number three Laughmore.
That's right, la.
Laugh more.
Put more joy in your life.
Laughter oxygenates your body.
It releases endorphins thatmake you feel good and immune,
boosting chemicals such asinterleukins.
It's a lot of great stuffscientifically for you.
(31:54):
It relieves stress and, look,it's just plain fun.
So would it actually help youto reach your goals by taking
the time each day to laugh, toactually schedule it in your day
?
Yeah, believe it or not?
Absolutely, now get this.
You're probably going toquestion why I'm saying this
when I talk a lot about managingyour time appropriately, but
(32:14):
get this.
Schedule some YouTube timewhere you watch funny dog or cat
videos, if that's what cracksyou up.
Put time in your schedule towatch comedy routines online or
on TV or, even better, in person.
Or, my personal favorite, hangout with funny people.
Hang out with funny people.
This time will serve you well,with better productivity, better
(32:38):
health and a more positiveattitude to help you conquer the
obstacles and move forward andenjoy life, because that's what
a lot of it's about, isn't it?
Enjoy life.
And if you're enjoying yourlife, and if you're enjoying the
things you're doing and thepeople you're with, you're going
to do a lot better witheverything you attempt.
Strategy number four keepfeeding your mind with positive
(33:05):
motivation.
Keep feeding your mind withpositive motivation.
Listening to recordings andreading books like this are
absolutely critical.
Just like you have to feed yourbody good nutrition, you need
to do the same thing with yourmind.
If you feed your body crap, itdeteriorates right.
If you feed your mind crap, itdoes the same.
(33:27):
You can poison your body.
You can poison your mind and,let's face it, our minds are
getting plenty of crap everysingle day.
Now can you listen to thingslike this recording more than
once?
Absolutely you need to.
There's no way in the worldyou're going to soak up all of
this, much less act on it afterlistening to it once.
(33:49):
Growing up, I had loads oftapes like this in my car,
feeding my mind every single day, and you know where I came from
, I had these things I waslistening to every single day
and when I read, it's almostalways an inspirational book
that helps keep my mind andattitude healthy.
(34:10):
It doesn't have to be aself-improvement book, though
God knows, I do a lot of those.
It can be a story, a true storyor fiction that has a good feel
to it, that makes you feel good, maybe even makes you laugh.
On my website,ultimatedrivingforcecom, I have
lots of great information foryou, including my own personal
email list that you can get on.
(34:31):
Make sure and get on that list.
Get on that list and follow meon all social media.
You'll continue to get lots ofpositive reinforcement,
including some glimpses into myown personal life and what's
going on there.
So keep feeding your mind withpositive motivation.
You've got room there.
Now Fill it up with good stuff,because there's a lot of other
(34:53):
bad stuff that's gonna try toget in there.
Strategy number five get up offyour butt.
That's right, get up off yourbutt.
Our bodies weren't made forthis sedentary lifestyle that
most of us are leading.
They were made to move around.
Getting the blood flowing.
Your muscles moving your limbs,moving around all have amazing
(35:14):
health benefits and we all knowthat your health affects every
aspect of your life, but it'smore than that.
If we get up off of our butts,we get out there and do things.
We see new things, we try newthings, we have more and
different experiences, we getmore out of life, our minds and
our bodies get stimulated, andboth of those have a tremendous
(35:36):
positive effect on our attitudes.
Bottom line get out of thehouse, stop watching so much TV
or just looking at things onlinefor too long, etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Look, there's a lot of beautyout there and adventure and
hardship and excitement and alot of life out there.
Get out there and enjoy it.
(36:03):
Strategy number six this is animportant one Help others.
Help others.
How would you like to have amore positive attitude pretty
much immediately?
Would that be good?
Would that be helpful?
You bet it would and you can doit.
And here's how Get out thereand help people.
It really is as simple as that.
It really is.
Go find someone that's not aswell off as you are and there's
(36:26):
a lot of them, I promise you andhelp them in some way.
Volunteer.
Go to a homeless shelter, aretirement home, an animal
shelter, a special needs center,a teen center.
Whatever it is that moves you,whatever it is that excites you,
that you're passionate about,whatever rolls your socks up and
down, there's so many peopleout there that need your help.
(36:47):
Go fight for some cause that'simportant to you.
Nothing is better to get yourmind off feeling sorry for
yourself and on to helpingothers.
You can't help someone elsewithout it helping you
dramatically.
So go out there and help people.
Make a difference in the world,and it'll make a difference in
(37:08):
yours.
Strategy number seven is takeaction toward a goal that's
right.
Take action towards a goalthat's right.
Take action towards a goalAction.
There's nothing more effectiveat building your attitude than
taking action.
Action towards a goal, nomatter how small or large that
goal is.
That's something around thehouse that you've noticed.
It's been bothering you, butyou haven't fixed it yet.
(37:31):
Try doing it and see how itmakes you feel that place.
You've been thinking aboutgoing that friend.
You've been thinking aboutcalling that goal you've always
thought about but haven't doneanything at all yet.
You just haven't gotten aroundto yet.
Do some part of it, any part ofit.
The feeling of accomplishmentnot only helps your attitude but
(37:51):
leads to more.
I did that.
I guess I could do this too,and often that sense of
accomplishment leads to more.
I did that.
I guess I could do this too,and often that sense of
accomplishment leads to moreinvolved tasks, which leads you
to accomplish more.
Remember, you crawled beforeyou walked and you walked before
you ran, and before all of that, you picked yourself up off the
floor.
(38:11):
So, if needs be, pick yourselfup off the floor and start to
crawl.
Then build your strength andconfidence and start to walk.
Then it's time to run.
And the final strategy,strategy number eight embrace
yourself.
That's right.
Embrace yourself.
(38:33):
Now get this.
I've heard many times God madeyou perfect, just the way you
are.
Have you heard that?
Guess what?
No, he didn't.
I'm sorry to burst your bubble,but we're not perfect.
Okay, you're not perfect.
I am not perfect.
We're flawed by nature, andthat's okay.
(38:54):
According to my belief, there'sonly been one perfect person on
this earth, and I'm not him.
What I am going to tell you,though, is to embrace your
imperfections.
None of us are perfect.
Awesome.
Don't try to be, just try to beyourself.
Try to be the best version ofyourself you can possibly be,
(39:15):
but be yourself, and this isextremely important.
Do your best and forgiveyourself for the rest.
Let me say that again Do yourbest and forgive yourself for
the rest.
You're going to screw up.
You're going to do dumb things,no matter how many books you
read or audios you listen to,seminars you go to.
(39:39):
Things aren't always going togo well, and that's okay as long
as you try it as hard as youcan and you did it with the best
of intentions.
That's all God or anyone canask of you, and that's all you
should ask of yourself, can askof you, and that's all you
(39:59):
should ask of yourself.
Now, that's not to say that youshouldn't try to improve those
aspects of yourself that youfeel need improving.
Of course you should.
That's why you're listening tothis audio.
But remember, we are all a workin progress, every one of us.
I'm a work in progress and youare too.
Embrace yourself as a beautifuland progress and you are too.
Embrace yourself as a beautiful, imperfect being who is working
(40:20):
hard toward whatever goals arein your heart and in your head.
So, to wrap this up appreciatewhat you've got.
It's a lot.
Stay away from negative peopleand be around positive people,
people who lift you up.
Laugh more, get up off yourbutt and experience more of this
amazing world.
Help others and help yourselfwhile you're doing it.
(40:42):
Take action towards a goal, nomatter how large or small it is,
and embrace yourself as theamazing work in progress that
you are, and protect yourattitude, like your life depends
on it, because it does you dothat, you'll absolutely blow
(41:04):
this bolt.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(41:29):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host, Terry LFossum.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
L Fossum Bolt.
Number four that we're going toblow is a bad attitude.
Now, if you've read anyself-improvement books or
listened to any recordings atall, you know they all talk
about how important it is tohave a good attitude.
So I'm going to start by takinga bit of a different approach.
This is all about breaking thebolts that bind you, that hold
you back.
So I'm not going to talk abouthaving a good attitude.
I'm going to talk about gettingrid of the bad attitude,
(00:52):
because, let's face it, if youhad a perfect attitude, you
wouldn't need to be listening tothese recordings.
So let's get started.
I'll begin with words ofwarning.
There are attacks on ourattitude continuously throughout
our day.
Social media, that was supposedto be a great way for us all to
be connected, has turned into ahotbed of negativity.
(01:16):
The news, which is supposed tobe reporting factual happenings,
has turned into sensationalismspecifically designed to create
negative emotions in us.
I want to make sure you knowthat.
Let me ask you is it working?
Absolutely, it is.
As a result of these things andmore, it seems like people
(01:37):
around us are more negative thanever, doesn't it?
And that's saying something.
We're being bombarded more thanever in the history of humanity
with negative, negative,negative, negative, negative.
And, let's face it, it wears usdown over time, doesn't it?
And that's why this recordingis so important.
Now, I know, I know you'veprobably listened to a million
(02:01):
things that say have a greatattitude, but there's a reason
for that.
The truth is and please listenvery closely, listen very
closely you need to protect yourattitude, like your life
depends on it, because it doesTruly.
What kind of a life you havecompletely depends on your
(02:23):
attitude.
How much success you have, howyour relationships are, how much
you enjoy every minute of everyday or not, depends on your
attitude.
You need to protect yourattitude, like your life depends
on it because it does.
An avid outdoor adventurer, I'vedone survival much of my life.
I taught wilderness survivalmarabaj as a youth.
(02:46):
I've done jungle survival deepin the Amazon, swimming with the
piranhas and the electriceagles and such.
I backpacked alone deep intothe Arctic Circle as well as
Death Valley in the badlads ofSouth Dakota, climbed into the
mountains of Rwanda searchingfor the elusive silverback
gorillas.
I've ridden camels in thedeserts of Egypt, canoeing
expeditions into the mountainsof Rwanda searching for the
elusive silverback gorillas.
I've ridden camels in thedeserts of Egypt, canoeing
(03:08):
expeditions into the Ketako.
I've done wilderness adventuretravel in different parts of the
world.
I was even recently on asurvival reality show.
So I get asked all the time in asurvival situation, what is the
single most important factor Ina survival situation?
What's the single mostimportant factor?
(03:28):
So let me turn this around toyou.
What do you think it is?
What's the most importantfactor in all of survival?
Well, it's getting food right.
I mean, you can't live if youdon't eat.
Actually, yes, you can.
You can live up to 30 days ormore without eating.
(03:50):
On that survival reality show Iwas on, the premise of it was
there was 10 survival expertsand we were all paired with a
novice, somebody who hadn't evencamped out in their backyard
before.
And it was pretty hilarious whosome of these novices were.
Well, one of these novices wereWell, one of them was a model
(04:12):
and I mean this model was thereal deal.
Okay, they flew her into Parisand everywhere else.
You've probably seen her on TVor print.
When I first met her, I figuredshe wouldn't last two weeks
because she basically has zeroextra body fat on her body and
in survival, fat stores equalsenergy when you're not eating.
I figured she'd lose strengthand drop out, but I really
didn't know her yet.
(04:33):
She had an inner strength thatfew people in the world have and
that kept her going near theend for over a month in the
jungle, with extremely littlefood.
See, I lost 25 pounds on theshow, if that's any indication
of how little we were eating,and I promise you she didn't
have 25 pounds to lose A monthin.
(04:54):
She was way past any fat storesthat she had.
So her body was eating its ownmuscle and internal organs, and
yet she fought on.
Okay, so it's not food, food'snot the most important one.
Okay, well, it must be water.
Well, you're getting closer.
As the survival rule of thumbis, you can only go about three
(05:17):
days without water Now,depending on a lot of
circumstances, of course, butabout three days is the rule of
thumb.
But, believe it or not, that'snot the most important thing
either.
Okay, then it must be shelter.
If you're not sheltered fromthe elements, you can die of
exposure in hours or evenminutes through heat stroke or
hypothermia.
But even still, that's not themost important factor.
(05:40):
Okay, if those aren't the singlemost important factor in all of
survival.
Then what is it?
You ready for this one?
Here we go, it's attitude,that's it.
That is the single mostimportant factor in all of
survival attitude.
I mean, can you imagine someonetrying to survive with a bad
attitude?
Oh my God, we're lost.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
(06:00):
We don't have food, we don'thave shelter.
There's lions and tigers andbears.
We're going to get eaten alive,and that's only if the weather
doesn't kill us first.
My God, I just got a splinter.
I'm sure it's going to get aneffect.
I'm going to die.
Tell my wife I love her.
Yeah, you're going to die,because the people with you just
might well kill you, so theydon't have to listen to your
whining anymore.
Having a bad attitude in asurvival situation is probably
(06:24):
the most detrimental thing thatcould possibly happen.
If you panic, you die Plain andsimple.
A good attitude will help keepyou from panicking in any
situation.
A bad attitude you're alreadygone, and I'm here to tell you
that's true in every aspect oflife.
Every single aspect of yourlife your financial success,
(06:48):
your relationships, your abilityto reach your goals, even how
you spend your free time isdependent on your attitude.
The importance of yourbackground greatly pales in
comparison to it.
Your education pales incomparison to it.
Even your IQ pales incomparison to it.
Wait a minute.
(07:08):
Am I telling you that attitudeis way more important than any
of those things?
You don't see attitude on aresume, yeah, but you do see it
in success rates.
You do see it in actual results.
That's right.
I could take a poor person froma terrible background with no
education and no training andhelp them be extremely
(07:31):
successful if they have a goodattitude.
But you give me a rich, ivyLeague educated individual with
all the connections in the world, but a bad attitude.
Probably not a single thing Ican do for them except help them
with a good attitude.
If they're willing to do whatit takes to do that, then the
sky's the limit, even for them.
(07:54):
See, I'm here to tell you thatall of the successes that I've
had throughout my entire lifearen't because I'm necessarily
any smarter than anyone or moretalented or anything else.
It's because I work hard,starting as a kid, to develop a
good attitude.
If you saw me driving down theroad in high school, I might be
listening to some very loudheavy metal music, classical
(08:16):
music or Zig Ziglar.
Yeah, I was kind of a weird kid, but even when I grew up
surrounded by gangs and drugsand everything else going on
back then, I was learning todevelop a good attitude.
Hey, I'm the first to admitthat on the survival show I was
on, there were people there withmuch better survival skills
(08:37):
than me.
There were people there whowere stronger than me.
Every single person on the showwas younger than me, but no one
no one, had a better attitudethan me.
And why is this?
Because I've worked hard tobuild it and to guard my
attitude all of my life.
Now does that mean that it'salways been rainbows, bunnies
and unicorns?
No, listen.
(08:57):
People often mistake what havinga good attitude actually means.
They think it means that you'rehappy all the time and that you
always look on the bright side,no matter what.
I'm going to disagree.
I'm not sure that's part of it,but it's certainly not all of
it.
My father was killed when I wasin high school.
I was devastated.
(09:17):
My whole family was devastated.
One of my worst memories in myentire life was hearing my
oldest brother wailing inanguish in our backyard.
My mom and dad were deeply inlove.
They had the fairytalerelationship that you only read
about in books.
They never had a single fight.
(09:38):
And now my mom would have tolive the rest of her years
without the love of her life.
Folks, there's no bright sideto this.
Mom would have to live the restof her years without the love
of her life.
Folks, there's no bright sideto this.
This is not a time to be happy,but it is the most important
time for a good attitude.
The attitude in this case isthis is horrible, but together
(10:01):
we're going to get through this.
We will prevail, we will carryon.
See, having a good attitudereally matters.
When the times are tough, it'seasy.
When the times are good, prettymuch everyone can have one when
everything's going great.
But when the times are horribleI mean really really horrible
that's when it's critical.
(10:22):
That's when you have to digdown deep into the depths of
your soul and go, no matter whatI can, and I will carry on.
This may sideline metemporarily, but by the grace of
God, I will get through this.
That's why it's so critical tobuild and protect your attitude
every single day, so you have itnot just to excel, but
(10:44):
sometimes, even more importantly, to survive.
Now, this is a concept that Icall attitude reserves.
It's the same concept as gas inyour gas tank.
If your gas tank is full, youcan go a long way.
If it's empty, you're not goinganywhere.
If you're driving an electricvehicle, I already get it.
(11:05):
Battery same thing.
You understand.
Obviously, you need to keepadding gas or power so you can
keep going because you use iteverywhere you go In the same
manner.
You only have a certain amountof attitude reserves to draw
from when you need them.
If your reserves get low, yourattitude will start to tank.
(11:27):
If you've ever said or thoughtthings like, look, I'm just fed
up with it all, okay, I'm justtired of it, or I just can't
take it anymore, then you are atthe end of your attitude
reserves.
If you've ever been a parent,you've probably thought those
things several times.
Have you ever noticed thatsometimes you just don't deal
with people or situations aswell as well other times?
(11:50):
That's because your attitudereserves were low.
That's why it's so critical tobuild and protect your attitude
every single day.
You need to take actions thatbuild those reserves and stay
away from actions that draw fromthem.
So we're going to talk aboutboth of those things Certainly
how to build those reserves, butfirst of all, how to make sure
(12:12):
circumstances and people neverdraw from them again.
Okay, here we go.
Let me ask you a question whowould you rather hang out with,
tigger or Eeyore?
I mean, you know what Eeyore'slike Probably gonna rain today
Again, and Tigger's likehoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, it's a
(12:33):
beautiful day.
Who would you rather hang outwith Tigger?
Right?
Eeyore's a drag.
And let me ask you this who doyou think has more fun?
Who has more friends?
Who is more successful?
Who makes more money?
Who has better relationships,etc.
Etc.
Etc.
No doubt about it.
(12:53):
Tigger's our man.
He's always bouncing aroundwith joy.
I love his quote.
Oh, stop that gloomy rumination.
All you need is a little bit oftiggerization.
I love that.
Come on, it's funny.
But we've all known someEeyores.
Right, probably won't reach ourquotas this month anyway.
Why even try?
You know what the secret isDon't be an Eeyore.
(13:16):
Whatever you do, don't hangaround with them.
So how do you recognize theEeyores in life?
One trait is what I call theyeah but syndrome.
It's the identifying call ofthe Eeyores yeah, but yeah.
But Now here's what I mean.
Okay, you try to look on thebright side and they tear it
(13:40):
down with their identifying call.
Yeah, but You're like man.
Look at that beautiful sunrise.
It's a bright, sunshiny day.
Yeah, but I'll probably getsunburned.
Man, look how fast the trafficis moving.
Yeah, but at this speed we'llprobably be in an accident.
Things are looking great forthis quarter.
Yeah, but the stock market willprobably crash.
(14:02):
They're always looking for areason to talk down about
someone or something.
It's not that they don't alwayslook at the bright side.
They forgot.
A bright side even exists.
And here's anotherself-identifying trait of an
Eeyore.
Now, we talked about it before.
Have you ever heard someone sayknowing my luck, something bad
will happen?
That's the call of an Eeyore.
(14:23):
We just closed a huge deal.
Knowing my luck, the financeswill probably fall through.
We're going on a beautiful hikein the mountains.
Knowing my luck, I'll get eatenby a bear.
You just won a million dollars.
Knowing my luck, I'll have aheart attack.
These people can find a negativefor every positive.
They can find a cloud for everysilver lining.
(14:44):
When life gives them lemons,they suddenly decide they're
allergic to lemons.
What's worse, everyone elseshould be too.
Have you ever run into peoplelike that?
They're everywhere.
People ask me all the time how Ihave such a positive attitude.
Okay, here we go.
It's simple.
I choose to.
That's simple, I choose to.
That's right, I choose to.
(15:06):
It is that simple.
Now, I'm not saying it's thateasy, but it is that simple.
Listen, your attitude is 100% upto you and no one else.
Well, sometimes people make meangry.
No, they don't.
They may do bad things, but youchoose to get angry.
(15:27):
You choose your response totheir actions.
Well, sometimes circumstancesget me down.
No, they don't.
Circumstances can't controlyour emotions.
Only you can.
Yes, bad things happen.
I know They've happened to me.
Have I been sad?
Yes, have I been angry?
Yes, have I been angry?
Yes, will you too, withoutquestion.
The only question is how longare we going to stay there?
(15:49):
And that is completely in yourcontrol.
That's your choice.
You have to guard your attitudelike your life depends on it,
because it does and this iscritical.
Listen you have to stay awayfrom the Eeyores.
You have to stay away from thenegative people.
(16:09):
Now, I realize that can bechallenging at times.
How do you deal with thenegative people in your life?
Okay, get this.
And this is going to be kind ofmaybe a little odd for you.
I've taught wilderness first aidfor years, including how to
save a drowning swimmer, and thetechnique really might surprise
.
You See, first you see someonestruggling, so you swim out to
(16:30):
them and they smile, thank youand gently hold on to you while
you safely bring them to shore.
Right Wrong, they're freakingout, they're panicking, they're
tripping out, they start to grabonto you and can push you under
the water in that panickedstate.
That's the way it really goes.
That's what really happens.
(16:52):
So what do you do?
Well, first of all, you talk tothem.
I need you to calm down.
You're going to be all right,I've got you.
Look me in the eyes.
You're going to be okay.
Hopefully that'll work.
But sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes they keep freakingout.
They don't listen.
They keep grabbing on andpushing you down under the water
(17:12):
.
Talking is not going to work.
So what do you do?
You cold cock them, that'sright.
You punch them in the face.
You try to knock them out.
Seriously, that's what you do.
It might hurt them a little bit, but it'll certainly calm them
down so you can work with them.
But what if that doesn't work?
What if they continue trying topull you down?
You give them one last chance.
(17:33):
Look, if you don't stop tryingto pull me down, I'm going to
have to leave you.
I'm going to have to swim away.
And if that doesn't work, whatdo you do?
You don't actually swim away,do you?
I mean, that seems cruel.
Yeah, you do.
That's exactly what you do.
Listen, let's face it.
Either way they're going todrown.
(17:55):
Either way they're going todrown, but one way they're going
to take you down with them.
Now, obviously, it's the samething with the negative people
around you, and I've personallyhad to do this many times myself
, even with those who are veryclose to me.
(18:16):
If they're being intenselynegative, including putting me
down first, I'll talk to themSomething like John, why would
you say something like that?
Oh, I'm just being honest.
No, you're being rude and I'mgoing to ask you not to be rude
to me.
I deserve to be treated better.
If it continues, it's time tohit them between the eyes.
(18:38):
One of my favorite lines is andthis is just my lines you do it.
However, it works for you.
Here's one of my favorite lines.
John, you know there are manythings I like about you and I'd
like to continue to be aroundyou, but I don't allow people to
continuously put me down.
I know you think you're joking,but every time you say
something like that, it makes methink you actually believe it.
(18:58):
Even worse, every time you saysomething like that, I actually
believe it a little bit moremyself.
Now I've had people come backwith me and say sarcastically oh
poor Terry, am I hurting yourfeelings and my answer is to
look them straight in the eyesand say with a very firm voice,
yes, and I won't allow it.
(19:19):
Friends, don't treat each otherthat way.
If you continue to treat methat way, we're no longer
friends.
Do we have an understanding?
Let me ask you something.
Who's in charge now?
See, they're trying to bullyyou, and if there's one thing
I've learned about bullies, theyback down when confronted.
They're not strong, they'reactually weak, and that's why
(19:41):
they try to put up such a strongfront.
People automatically try tobring others to their own level.
Someone who feels badly aboutthemselves tries to bring others
down to their level.
Someone who feels good aboutthemselves tries to bring others
up to their level.
So, if it continues, what do Ido?
(20:03):
You guessed it I walk away.
They may drown, but they're nottaking me down with them.
Always keep in mind that, aboveall, it's the people you hang
around that have the most effecton you.
This is important, guys.
If you hang around withnegative people, you will become
(20:23):
one Period.
Do you want the people aroundyou to bring you up or tear you
down?
It's your choice by the type ofpeople you hang around with.
People automatically try tobring others to their own level.
Now am I saying that you mighthave to get rid of some of your
current friends?
Absolutely, you bet I am.
(20:51):
Cut them out, have afriendectomy.
I know that might sound a bitharsh, but it's critical.
Remember you need to protectyour attitude, like your life
depends on it, because it does.
Every single aspect of yourlife depends on it.
So if you have a drowningswimmer that won't listen to you
even when you hit them betweenthe eyes metaphorically, then
you must swim away.
Don't let them take you downwith them.
(21:11):
So that's the negative peoplein your life.
What about the negative memories?
So let me ask you have you everseen people trying to run
through an airport?
They're trying to get to theirgate on time, carrying all those
big bags, breathing hard,sweating, struggling, and all
that baggage is just weighingthem down, making that trip as
hard as physically possible.
(21:33):
And we may wonder man, why didthey pack so much crap?
How did they even try to runwith all that weight holding
them down?
They will never make it therewith all that baggage.
It ain't going to happen.
And yet that's what many of usare doing every single day,
isn't it?
There's baggage in your own pastthat you're still carrying with
(21:56):
you.
It could be bad relationshipsor bad experiences or who knows
what.
There are things that happenedyears ago and you're still
carrying them with you.
It could be someone who wrongedyou years ago that you still
have a grudge against.
Let me ask you have you everhad an argument with someone and
played it over and over andover again in your head?
(22:17):
Why Did it make it better?
No, it just kept us ticked offlonger.
Did it make it better?
No, it just kept us ticked offlonger.
It just held us down.
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
Or maybe you feel you've beencheated by life itself.
You didn't start with the bestcircumstances.
Maybe you don't feel like youwere born with the gifts that
others were born with.
(22:37):
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
Maybe something terriblehappened to you.
I'm sorry, I really am, but nowit's baggage.
You've got to let it go.
Car something terrible happenedto you.
I'm sorry, I really am, but nowit's baggage.
You've got to let it go.
Carrying that baggage with youjust continues the pain.
You keep reliving it andreliving it and reliving it, and
that continues to wear you downlong after it actually happened
(22:58):
.
Let it go, man.
Drop the baggage.
There have been many otherpeople that terrible things have
happened to.
Oprah Winfrey is just one ofthem.
Terrible things, and yet theylet it go.
It's what you need to do also.
You've got to drop the baggage.
See, in backpacking we have aphrase for how much gear you
(23:18):
carry Ounces equals pounds andpounds equals miles.
Let me say that again Ouncesequals pounds and pounds equals
miles.
In other words, all the littlethings the ounces add up to big
things the pounds and carryingthose extra pounds means you
can't go as far as you'd like to.
You can't go as many miles.
(23:41):
Ounces equals pounds and poundsequals miles.
My wife's purse, my wife's purse, is the same way.
At some point, when hershoulder starts hurting, she
finally realizes her purse hasbecome heavy as heck.
Just carrying its weight iswearing her down.
So finally she decides to findout why and starts to unpack all
(24:04):
of that baggage.
She pours it out and it'samazing what all she's been
carrying around for all of theseweeks.
By the way, I got her approvalto tell this story before I told
it, so we're good.
So first of all, in her pursethere are several dollars worth
of spare change.
I mean you could feed a familyof four for a week on just the
change alone.
And each coin alone does awaymuch, maybe an ounce or two, but
(24:28):
if you add a bunch of ittogether it's pounds, baby.
And then there's keys Keys towho knows what, locks that are
long forgotten, and each one byitself again doesn't weigh much,
but it all adds up and pins.
You'd think there was aballpoint factory.
Actually in her purse there'sso many pins.
It's amazing what ends up in apurse.
(24:50):
And all of those ounces add upto pounds that get needlessly
carried around, just like all ofus in our lives.
Listen, you have to unpack yourbaggage.
Think about it.
I mean this what baggage haveyou been carrying with you?
What bad relationships orexperiences have you been
(25:11):
carrying with you?
Allowing them to hold you backAgain?
Carrying it with you does youno good at all.
It only allows that person orthose circumstances to continue
to control you.
Don't let them anymore.
Don't let those people controlyou anymore.
Don't let those circumstancescontrol you anymore.
(25:33):
It's time to let it go.
It's time to let it go.
It's time to drop the baggage.
Okay, now the flip side of thecoin.
You're getting rid of the bad.
Now you have more room for good.
You know, again, we read allthese things about improving
your attitude, improving yourattitude, but my belief is that
(25:55):
you can only do so much withoutgetting rid of the bad.
You've got to get rid of thatbad baggage so you have room for
the good, otherwise you'regoing to have that yeah, but
thing going on all the time.
So we've gotten rid of the bad.
Now we have more room for thegood.
Let's start putting more goodin your life.
Would you be interested to knowthe things that I personally do
(26:16):
to build up my attitude,enabling me to do everything
I've done?
Well, hopefully, you said yes,because that's what we're going
to do here.
Okay, and this is serious, I dothese things Absolutely and it
really, really helps.
Strategy number one you need toappreciate what you've got.
You need to appreciate whatyou've got.
(26:37):
You need to appreciate whatyou've got, and a lot of times
we've heard that.
Perhaps you've heard that, butyet we don't do it enough, or
else we'd all have a lot betterattitudes.
Quite frankly, let me ask you aquestion Did you wake up alive
today?
Did you wake up alive today?
What do you mean?
Of course you did.
It's not guaranteed, is it?
Do you realize that some peoplewoke up this morning dead?
(27:00):
Okay, they didn't actually wakeup I think that's kind of the
point, but you woke up alive.
That's awesome, congratulations.
That's a big deal.
It's a huge deal.
And did you appreciate it?
We need to every single morning.
Let me ask you, when you openedyour eyes, could you see?
You could man.
You need to celebrate becausethere's a lot of people out
(27:22):
there who couldn't.
There's even people listeningto this audio who couldn't.
And look, it's not holding themback from pursuing their dreams
and their goals.
I'm betting nothing will dreamsand their goals.
I'm betting nothing will.
Where were you when you woke upthis morning?
Where were you?
(27:46):
In a bedroom?
Wait, hold on.
You had a roof over your head,you had walls, you had safety.
That's amazing.
And before you go, okay, comeon, that's ridiculous.
Okay, listen, understand, I'vebeen to places where they didn't
.
You really probably don'trealize how fortunate you are.
You need to appreciate it, andthe list goes on and on of the
blessings that you have in yourlife.
(28:07):
Do you have anyone at all inyour life who cares about you?
Anyone, anyone at all, whocares about you, maybe even a
pet.
What a blessing.
Do you have any money at all Atall?
What a blessing.
Remember, I've been with peoplewho had absolutely nothing,
nothing.
And you have so much.
Maybe you even have a job, aprofession or a business Not
(28:31):
sure you like your job, guesswhat.
There's people around the worldwho would do anything to have
your job and your home and yourlife.
Millions of people around theglobe would trade places with
you in a heartbeat.
You're so crazy blessed, butyou have to realize it.
Stop focusing on all the thingsthat you don't have and focus
(28:56):
on all the things that you do.
That's a big one.
Stop focusing on all the thingsyou don't have and focus on all
the things that you do.
I'm going to let you in on alittle secret.
This is something that Ipersonally do every single
morning.
Every single morning, everymorning, the first thought, the
(29:17):
absolute first thought in myhead every single morning, every
single morning, every morning,the first thought, the absolute
first thought in my head everysingle morning, is thank you,
god, for the gifts you havegiven me.
Please help me use them foryour service.
Let me say it again for you,this is every single morning.
Thank you, god, for the giftsyou have given me.
Please help me use them in yourservice.
(29:39):
Can you imagine starting everysingle day that way?
Don't imagine Do it.
Write that phrase down, if youneed to, and start every single
day with it.
Just see the difference itmakes in your life and
throughout the day, I'mcontinuously I mean this saying
prayers of thanks for all thegood things that happen, even
(30:00):
the seemingly small things thathappen.
I'm saying prayers of thanksfor them every day.
Living a thankful life fillsyour heart with joy.
Living a thankful life fillsyour heart with joy.
Don't believe in God Okay,that's all right, your gig.
Thank whatever deity youbelieve in, thank the universe,
(30:21):
thank Mother Earth.
I don't care who or what youthank, just be thankful.
Appreciate everything you'vegot, and it'll make a tremendous
difference in your attitude.
Strategy number two we talkedabout not being around negative
people.
The other side of the coin isbe around positive people,
(30:43):
people you like, people who likeyou, the bottom line people who
make you feel good and goodabout yourself.
Let me say that again Be aroundpeople who make you feel good
about yourself.
Now, I don't mean people whofalsely give you compliments.
I mean people who are genuinelyappreciative of you for who you
(31:08):
are, who build you up insteadof tearing you down, people who
believe in you and don't spendtoo much time alone.
That's when the negativethoughts start creeping in.
Despite what we might think,humans are social creatures.
We need socialization, so bearound positive people, seek
(31:33):
them out and do anything withthem.
Strategy number three Laughmore.
That's right, la.
Laugh more.
Put more joy in your life.
Laughter oxygenates your body.
It releases endorphins thatmake you feel good and immune,
boosting chemicals such asinterleukins.
It's a lot of great stuffscientifically for you.
(31:54):
It relieves stress and, look,it's just plain fun.
So would it actually help youto reach your goals by taking
the time each day to laugh, toactually schedule it in your day
?
Yeah, believe it or not?
Absolutely, now get this.
You're probably going toquestion why I'm saying this
when I talk a lot about managingyour time appropriately, but
(32:14):
get this.
Schedule some YouTube timewhere you watch funny dog or cat
videos, if that's what cracksyou up.
Put time in your schedule towatch comedy routines online or
on TV or, even better, in person.
Or, my personal favorite, hangout with funny people.
Hang out with funny people.
This time will serve you well,with better productivity, better
(32:38):
health and a more positiveattitude to help you conquer the
obstacles and move forward andenjoy life, because that's what
a lot of it's about, isn't it?
Enjoy life.
And if you're enjoying yourlife, and if you're enjoying the
things you're doing and thepeople you're with, you're going
to do a lot better witheverything you attempt.
Strategy number four keepfeeding your mind with positive
(33:05):
motivation.
Keep feeding your mind withpositive motivation.
Listening to recordings andreading books like this are
absolutely critical.
Just like you have to feed yourbody good nutrition, you need
to do the same thing with yourmind.
If you feed your body crap, itdeteriorates right.
If you feed your mind crap, itdoes the same.
(33:27):
You can poison your body.
You can poison your mind and,let's face it, our minds are
getting plenty of crap everysingle day.
Now can you listen to thingslike this recording more than
once?
Absolutely you need to.
There's no way in the worldyou're going to soak up all of
this, much less act on it afterlistening to it once.
(33:49):
Growing up, I had loads oftapes like this in my car,
feeding my mind every single day, and you know where I came from
, I had these things I waslistening to every single day
and when I read, it's almostalways an inspirational book
that helps keep my mind andattitude healthy.
(34:10):
It doesn't have to be aself-improvement book, though
God knows, I do a lot of those.
It can be a story, a true storyor fiction that has a good feel
to it, that makes you feel good, maybe even makes you laugh.
On my website,ultimatedrivingforcecom, I have
lots of great information foryou, including my own personal
email list that you can get on.
(34:31):
Make sure and get on that list.
Get on that list and follow meon all social media.
You'll continue to get lots ofpositive reinforcement,
including some glimpses into myown personal life and what's
going on there.
So keep feeding your mind withpositive motivation.
You've got room there.
Now Fill it up with good stuff,because there's a lot of other
(34:53):
bad stuff that's gonna try toget in there.
Strategy number five get up offyour butt.
That's right, get up off yourbutt.
Our bodies weren't made forthis sedentary lifestyle that
most of us are leading.
They were made to move around.
Getting the blood flowing.
Your muscles moving your limbs,moving around all have amazing
(35:14):
health benefits and we all knowthat your health affects every
aspect of your life, but it'smore than that.
If we get up off of our butts,we get out there and do things.
We see new things, we try newthings, we have more and
different experiences, we getmore out of life, our minds and
our bodies get stimulated, andboth of those have a tremendous
(35:36):
positive effect on our attitudes.
Bottom line get out of thehouse, stop watching so much TV
or just looking at things onlinefor too long, etc.
Etc.
Etc.
Look, there's a lot of beautyout there and adventure and
hardship and excitement and alot of life out there.
Get out there and enjoy it.
(36:03):
Strategy number six this is animportant one Help others.
Help others.
How would you like to have amore positive attitude pretty
much immediately?
Would that be good?
Would that be helpful?
You bet it would and you can doit.
And here's how Get out thereand help people.
It really is as simple as that.
It really is.
Go find someone that's not aswell off as you are and there's
(36:26):
a lot of them, I promise you andhelp them in some way.
Volunteer.
Go to a homeless shelter, aretirement home, an animal
shelter, a special needs center,a teen center.
Whatever it is that moves you,whatever it is that excites you,
that you're passionate about,whatever rolls your socks up and
down, there's so many peopleout there that need your help.
(36:47):
Go fight for some cause that'simportant to you.
Nothing is better to get yourmind off feeling sorry for
yourself and on to helpingothers.
You can't help someone elsewithout it helping you
dramatically.
So go out there and help people.
Make a difference in the world,and it'll make a difference in
(37:08):
yours.
Strategy number seven is takeaction toward a goal that's
right.
Take action towards a goalthat's right.
Take action towards a goalAction.
There's nothing more effectiveat building your attitude than
taking action.
Action towards a goal, nomatter how small or large that
goal is.
That's something around thehouse that you've noticed.
It's been bothering you, butyou haven't fixed it yet.
(37:31):
Try doing it and see how itmakes you feel that place.
You've been thinking aboutgoing that friend.
You've been thinking aboutcalling that goal you've always
thought about but haven't doneanything at all yet.
You just haven't gotten aroundto yet.
Do some part of it, any part ofit.
The feeling of accomplishmentnot only helps your attitude but
(37:51):
leads to more.
I did that.
I guess I could do this too,and often that sense of
accomplishment leads to more.
I did that.
I guess I could do this too,and often that sense of
accomplishment leads to moreinvolved tasks, which leads you
to accomplish more.
Remember, you crawled beforeyou walked and you walked before
you ran, and before all of that, you picked yourself up off the
floor.
(38:11):
So, if needs be, pick yourselfup off the floor and start to
crawl.
Then build your strength andconfidence and start to walk.
Then it's time to run.
And the final strategy,strategy number eight embrace
yourself.
That's right.
Embrace yourself.
(38:33):
Now get this.
I've heard many times God madeyou perfect, just the way you
are.
Have you heard that?
Guess what?
No, he didn't.
I'm sorry to burst your bubble,but we're not perfect.
Okay, you're not perfect.
I am not perfect.
We're flawed by nature, andthat's okay.
(38:54):
According to my belief, there'sonly been one perfect person on
this earth, and I'm not him.
What I am going to tell you,though, is to embrace your
imperfections.
None of us are perfect.
Awesome.
Don't try to be, just try to beyourself.
Try to be the best version ofyourself you can possibly be,
(39:15):
but be yourself, and this isextremely important.
Do your best and forgiveyourself for the rest.
Let me say that again Do yourbest and forgive yourself for
the rest.
You're going to screw up.
You're going to do dumb things,no matter how many books you
read or audios you listen to,seminars you go to.
(39:39):
Things aren't always going togo well, and that's okay as long
as you try it as hard as youcan and you did it with the best
of intentions.
That's all God or anyone canask of you, and that's all you
should ask of yourself, can askof you, and that's all you
(39:59):
should ask of yourself.
Now, that's not to say that youshouldn't try to improve those
aspects of yourself that youfeel need improving.
Of course you should.
That's why you're listening tothis audio.
But remember, we are all a workin progress, every one of us.
I'm a work in progress and youare too.
Embrace yourself as a beautifuland progress and you are too.
Embrace yourself as a beautiful, imperfect being who is working
(40:20):
hard toward whatever goals arein your heart and in your head.
So, to wrap this up appreciatewhat you've got.
It's a lot.
Stay away from negative peopleand be around positive people,
people who lift you up.
Laugh more, get up off yourbutt and experience more of this
amazing world.
Help others and help yourselfwhile you're doing it.
(40:42):
Take action towards a goal, nomatter how large or small it is,
and embrace yourself as theamazing work in progress that
you are, and protect yourattitude, like your life depends
on it, because it does you dothat, you'll absolutely blow
(41:04):
this bolt.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(41:29):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
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