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May 9, 2025 47 mins

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Bradley Rausch shares his journey from debilitating anxiety to helping entrepreneurs build million-dollar businesses through personal branding and referral systems, revealing powerful frameworks for overcoming mental health challenges and building resilience.

• The CRAFT method: a framework for accomplishing things when you don't yet have proof you can succeed
• How to break down seemingly impossible goals into manageable steps while building evidence of your capabilities
• Why anxiety serves as a protective mechanism—understanding the chain reaction of fear
• The importance of focusing on returning to baseline after emotional triggers rather than preventing reactions
• Why giving yourself "grace" means allowing yourself to be bad at something new
• How to shift from controlling external circumstances to managing your internal response during panic
• The mantra "don't ask for the situation to become easier, but demand that you become greater"
• Why doing hard things consistently makes everything easier over time
• The difference between necessary pain and optional suffering

If you're ready to get over your fears, self-doubts and past failures and break through your comfort zone to reach the pinnacle of success in every area of your life, head over to terrielfossum.com to pick up your free gifts and so much more.


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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:03):
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host, Terry LFossum.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
L Fossum.
Hey, this is Terry L Fossum,and welcome back to another
edition of the ComebackChronicles podcast, and my guest
today is going to be fun andit's going to be a little
hurtful and it's going to beinsanely helpful for you.
My guest today is BradleyRausch, and Bradley has worked
for the past six years helpingentrepreneurs and consultants as
a brand and operationsstrategist.
Now, in that time, in thatshort six years, he's helped

(00:53):
grow a coaching company fromabout $650,000 to $1.5 million
in revenue.
This guy you want to listen to.
He's led the launch of 60 plusLinkedIn and TikTok accounts
that have built referral systemsthat cut acquisition costs and
improved retention Both veryimportant things, right?

(01:13):
You want to do that in anybusiness you're in Now.
Bradley now runs Level UpInfluence, working with founders
to help them build out seamlessclient referral channels, a
personal brand that attractsonly the highest LTV clients and
helps get the founder out ofthe day-to-day operations of
their business so they can livelife, have fun and do what

(01:34):
they're good at.
Now, more than all of that,he's got an incredible comeback
story that is going to help you,and he's going to give you some
step-by-step points to help youget through whatever you've
gone through, whatever you'regoing through and whatever you
go through in the future.
So, bradley, thanks so much forjoining me on the podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
Thank you for having me man.
I will do my best to live up tothat.
I will do my best to live up tothat intro, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Well, that that intro is just based on what you're
doing, man.
So you're, you've already livedup to it.
You're just building on thatright.
Appreciate that.
Yeah, absolutely.
So you've got some amazingstuff you're doing.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
You're very, very good at what you do and you've
built a heck of a company.
You're helping other peoplebuild up theirs, which is
fantastic, but that's not theway it's always been right.
No, not exactly.
So the biggest thing that Ialways focused on you know, I'm
a relatively young entrepreneurI'm 26 and I'm extraordinarily,
extraordinarily fortunate to bewhere I'm at.
There's been people that havegiven me chances and shots of
things when they had no businessdoing that, and I'm completely

(02:45):
honored and humbled by that, andso I think the biggest thing
that I know Terry, you and Iconnected on, but also, just in
general, something that I'mpassionate about is, yes,
there's the business side andyes, there's the content for
that, and I've got my LinkedIncontent reflects a lot of that.
But there's also decided tostart making a lot of personal

(03:05):
content focused on anxiety,mental health.
Basically, the kind of mottoI've developed for my own
podcast is frameworks for life'shardest moments, and so I'm
excited to share some of thatduring the podcast today.
But back to your thing of like.
That's not the way it's alwaysbeen for a.
For a little bit of context onmy history.
You know I growing up there aremany, many people in many, many

(03:27):
unfortunate places in the world.
I'm very fortunate overall.
However, there was a lot oftoxicity, mindset, mental health
issues with with my family,just collectively, that got
passed on to me and, to becompletely honest with you,
looking back at it today, Iwouldn't want it any other way
because it's built me into theperson that I am, and without
that adversity I don't know whatwould be today.

(03:48):
And so the point is going outof the home life, getting into
my own world, getting intoadulthood.
I tried the college route Notfor me.
Then I went to working for somementors, getting into the high
ticket sales world, found that Ialso didn't align with that
world just for a purpose, for areason of the focus of that

(04:13):
world, and the focus of thoseefforts is, I think, rather
manipulative and not something Iwant to do Like.
I pride myself now on beingable to set up again referral
systems for people that salesisn't even a question.
Sales is a, is a, is a a.
If you follow a, you know,follow procedure, you serve a
client in a certain way.
Sales is a foreground conclusion, and so that's something that

(04:34):
I'm really, really passionateabout setting up, and so I found
a way to align that kind ofethos that I had with what I do
for work, which I'm reallyfortunate to do, and so got into
client success consulting andthen built that into what is
what is now my, what is now mycompany, and so there's a lot of
you know, I'm sure, a lot ofbusiness things we could go into
, but I know on the show we kindof wanted to get into the

(04:56):
personal thing, so that's reallykind of again just relates back
to my, to my story of justgrowing up and figuring yourself
out.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
Well, I know there's a lot of things that you didn't
talk about during that You'vekind of referred to, you've
referenced and that's okay.
Again, this is a safeenvironment.
We talked about that before westarted recording.
That's okay.
But I think everybody can inferthere's some stuff that
happened.
Would that be valid?

Speaker 3 (05:26):
Absolutely the.
The short of it, um, if, if,because, like I'm fully open to,
to sharing all of this, theshort of it is um, unfortunately
, the.
The family dynamic that I waswas brought up in, valued the
opinions of others being muchmore important or being the sole
important thing over theopinion of yourself, and so

(05:47):
things like, you know,self-confidence, self-worth, any
sort of form ofself-appreciation, self-respect,
self-love, was not even, noteven.
Not only was it something Ididn't have, it was, it wasn't
even an idea I was familiar with.
By the time, you know, I was 18, 19.
And, if you can believe it ornot, it was to the point where
you know, the kind ofcodependency relationship that I
developed with my parents wasto the point where you know, 17,

(06:16):
18, by the time you're 17 or 18, you can do most stuff on your
own.
Yeah, I was, I was completely,completely dependent on, on them
.
Even even up to that agecouldn't be in different,
different zip code, let alone adifferent general area than them
.
Otherwise, extreme panic,extreme anxiety.
I struggled with a lot of veryintense panic attacks when I was
younger, just really rooted in,not knowing if I was going to

(06:38):
be okay, like not knowing if myability to protect myself was
there.
And so now again, I'm 26.
Now what I've worked on for thelast 10 plus years therapy, a
lot of work on myself andresearch and working with
mentors is just that ability tonot only protect yourself but

(07:01):
also just to know yourself andtrust yourself.
And my philosophy, if you willat this point in short life thus
far, is I love to haveframeworks for things, for
whatever reason.
I'm a very visual person.
I have had to, you know, workon the skill very, very hard of
navigating through things thatdidn't have a clear path.
I was always, you know, if youthink about the trade off of,

(07:23):
it's like do you want a clearpath to get to somewhere, but
you know the path is going to bereally difficult, or do you
want a not so clear path to getsomewhere, but you're not sure
if it's going to be difficult ornot right?
It's kind of that like it'skind of that coin toss.
I was always on the side of theformer.
I was always as you turn thelights on in the car, I'm fine,

(07:46):
but obviously it's not alwaysthat way.
And so, again, my kind ofphilosophy, with my podcast and
the content that I talk aboutover on Instagram and things is
frameworks for life's hardestmoments, but I'll give you the
spoiler.
I'll give you the end of thestory which I love to give,
which is the most importantframework is how to trust
yourself when there is no wayforward.

(08:06):
Love it.

Speaker 2 (08:07):
Say that again.
Say that again, Bradley.
That's so critical and I knowthere's people listening right
now.
That's going to hit home for sobad.
Say it again.

Speaker 3 (08:16):
Most important framework is how you trust
yourself when there is noframework, when there is no way
forward.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
When there's no way forward.
Man, I love that.
Tell me more about it, Causeyou just got a lot of people's
attention right there.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
So you know that where, where I, my whole kind of
I guess a journey with thisstarted.
So my, my goal is eventually toto dip into, you know, public
speaking.
I've got my consultant comingin and keeps me very busy right
now.
But you know, if you're, if I'm, if I'm dreaming big, I'll say
you know, say he'll bloom, or oryou know, a Peter Crone or
something like that right Kindof kind of a situation.

(08:51):
But the content I make on mypodcast and Instagram is is
again just focusing on thoseframeworks, and so I guess I'm
starting off by sharing kind ofthe first one that that really
kind of built it all to life,which is, I call it, the craft
method.
So I used to get reallydisoriented.
Honestly, it's the word aboutsocial media content that talked

(09:11):
a lot about.
You know, there's there'ssomething difficult you want to
do, there's a hard thing thatyou want to face, there's
something you want to do but youdon't have the proof you can do
it.
How do you actually go do it?
The answer I was always servedwas go do it, go make the proof
and I'm like just do it.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Just do it.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Yeah, but I'm like if you're somebody like me, human,
who has struggled with likerampant panic attacks, not being
able to get up out of bed, youknow, for you know God knows how
many years uh, depression attimes.
You know, like, like, like youknow, self self-assuredness is
like like how to just do it.

(09:50):
What do you mean?
Just like this is not Nike,what are we doing?
And so I'm just like I need away, I need I need a framework,
and so out of that and therapyand research and talking with
experts and things came what Icall the craft method, and so
CRAFT each stands for a point.
So this is essentially for aframework for how to do
something, create an outcome inyour life that you don't have
yet the proof that you canactually accomplish.
So it's five things.
So number one C is commit towhat time arrives and oftentimes

(10:10):
when we will try and dosomething new.
The example I always use whenthis one is like weight loss.
We try and lose weight and wesay we go to the gym, go work
out on the, go, go, you know,work out on the treadmill, walk
30 minutes, something.
Come home and then we say, ohwell, I'm going to go do that
tomorrow, but then we wake uptomorrow and we don't feel like

(10:30):
doing it.
We allow ourselves the abilityto renegotiate.
Don't give yourself thatability.
If you set a time rise and yousay, listen, it doesn't have to
be a long one.
Sometimes people will say threemonths or six months, I'm going
to do this.
No, three days.
Like, let's start small.
For the next three days I'mgoing to do this and I'm not
giving myself the ability torenegotiate.
It builds up that part of yourbrain that gives yourself the
evidence that you can actuallydo it.
And it's not.
It's not going to be pleasant,don't expect it to be pleasant,
but you can do it and get moreinto that in a second.

(10:52):
But so that C is commit to atime horizon, r is going to be
to reveal your actions and yourstep-by-step plan.
So a lot of people will go Iuse I use like building a
business example for this one.
A lot of people will go hey,I'm going to build the next
billion dollar business.
Cool, timmy, can't come back toyou next week and say, hey, did
you build the next billiondollar business yet Not how it
works.
So you have to reveal your goalbut then also the action steps

(11:14):
you're going to take.
You say, hey, timmy, I'm goingto set up half my website,
because then Timmy can come backto you next week and tell you
and ask you if you did all thosethings.
So it's the steps that matter,not the general outcome, because
that's what people can hold youaccountable to.
A is to act with curiosity, notcriticism.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Example I use Real quick.
I want to go back.
It's the steps that count.
Say it again, because I want tomake sure that this stuff's
really hitting home with folks.
This is, this is good stuff,bud.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
It's the, it's the steps to count, not the, not,
not not the outcome.
And to that point, it's, youknow, it's.
It's the difference.
If you like, look at a rockclimbing wall no-transcript.

(12:13):
People feel terrible aboutthemselves If they, uh, don't
lose the 20 pounds.
You want to go from 180 to 160.
I used to be, I used to be apersonal trainer, so this
fitness leads a lot of myexamples.
If you want to go from 180 to160, uh, if you say, instead of,
instead of saying, oh well,until I, until I hit 160, I
can't feel good about myself.
That's what most people do,whether consciously or

(12:33):
subconsciously.
If, instead, you say, once Iget to 179, I'm going to throw
myself a little party and thenI'm gonna go to 178, and then
I'm gonna go to 177, it's, it'sjust, it's it's.
It's a nuanced difference,absolutely, but it is an
important one, because you knowyou have to.
You have to give yourself thebenefit of the doubt and you
have to give yourself theability to actually build, build
the build, the momentum whichwraps into another kind of

(12:57):
there's a lot on this pointwhich wraps into another thing
that that is really, reallycrucial.
I talk about a lot which is isgiving yourself grace.
So everybody talks about thatand I think it's a really big
buzzword on socials and contentand things, but nobody really
knows what it means.
Everybody's like, oh well, itmeans just go easy on yourself
and forgiveness.
My definition of grace is thisis not to go easy on yourself.
The definition of to giveyourself grace is to do

(13:18):
something and be okay with thefact that you're bad at it.
We, you know it's.
It's going from, you know,unconscious incompetence to
conscious competence.
Right, and so it's like goingfrom a point where you are good
at something, or start goingfrom a point where you're bad at
something to where you're goodat something.
It takes so many tiny littlethings and if you try and jump

(13:39):
from again the bottom of therock climbing wall to the top,
you never give yourself theability to.
Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
One of my phrases is do your best and forgive
yourself for the rest.
You know, if you're doing yourbest, then come on, man give
yourself a break, give yourselfgrace, right?

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Yep, absolutely, absolutely Yep.
So that's so.
That's so, that's R and then Ais CRA is to act with curiosity,
not criticism.
So very oftentimes we will, youknow, we'll assume how we think
something's going to feel orsay, or what something's going
to say, or how something's goingto be, and that's just simply
our survival instincts, ourfight or flight, trying to fill
in the blanks when we don't havefull context, especially again,

(14:17):
because this is something youhaven't had the proof that you
can do.
Or, to be more specific, withour 10 million year evolved
brain, this is something you cando without dying or without
bursting into a ball of flames,because that's how your brain is
wired to show you and to tellyou that everything's going to
make you burst into a ball offlames because it's terrified
for you.
Your brain is to survive, it'snot to thrive.
So active curiosity, notcriticism.

(14:38):
You don't know, like, if you'relifting weights and you're on a
10th rep and you're like, oh, Idon't know if I can do an 11th
rep, instead of saying, oh, it'sprobably going to hurt, oh, I'm
probably going to drop thething on my thing and I'm going
to check myself.
It's going to be horrible.
I don't know what the 11th repis going to feel, like I've
never done it before, like Igenuinely have no information.
Maybe I do it and maybe therenot criticism, so that's A.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
F is frame if then plans.
So again, I'm not advocatingReal quick.
I want to back up again on thatone too, and of course I love
your workout references, that'swhat you're used to.
But for another example of that, just for people in their daily
lives, what would give meanother example of that for
daily lives, their business,their entrepreneurship or just
anything?
What would another example ofthat be?

Speaker 3 (15:37):
I talk with a lot of.
A lot of my clients are, areeither are or are becoming
content creators on some level,cause I work with a lot of
people on building a personalbrand, which includes content.
So oftentimes I will startworking with somebody,
especially at the very beginning, before they know just how much
of a kick in the ass I willgive them and I will say sorry.

(15:57):
They will say to me oh, I don'twant to make content because.
Or I don't want to do this partof the business because, oh,
it's going to be like, it'sgoing to be really hard and
people are going to judge me.
I'm not going to, it's notgoing to get, it's not going to
get anywhere, it's not going toget any views, it's not going to

(16:22):
be.
You don't actually know.
And the reality is is that,even if that is true, you're
going to get farther by notbelieving that than you will by
believing it?

Speaker 2 (16:30):
There you go.
I love that.
Say that again Say it again.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
So, even if all the things in your head are telling,
even if all the things goingthrough your head, the fears,
the BS, the narrative goingthrough your head about
something, even if it is true,how does it help you?
So you have to so with with thevery subjective narrative that
goes through our head a lot,with literally everything in our
life.
Sometimes it gets to a point,especially if you have a very

(16:54):
large fear, a very large, youknow emotional reaction to
something.
Sometimes it can get to a pointwhere you have to ask is it
actually beneficial to listenand to act upon what's going
through my head right now,Because you can't control your
thoughts.
You can't control your thoughtsand you can't control your
feelings.
So is there a benefit to actingupon what's going through my
head?
And sometimes the answer is yesand sometimes no, and that's

(17:16):
just a skill you have to refineis to know the difference.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Love it?
Yeah, Love it.
I think that's real importantfor people to understand.
You don't have to keep thosethoughts in your head.
You can develop new ones.
Who gets further?
The person who is fearless orfearful Well, fearless.
So it's just, we all have thesame thoughts.
I'm sorry, but we do.
It's just what we choose tofocus on.
And I choose to focus, justlike you're saying, on that next

(17:40):
step, on my goal, whatever itis, instead of what could hold
me back.
Son of a gun, you get past it.
Funny how that happens, isn'tit?

Speaker 3 (17:47):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
So then the F is for frame.
If, then plan.
So I'm not definitely notadvocating for you know, have
every single thing mapped out,planned out.
But you know.
Back to a weight loss example,it's like if you have a history
of going in, you know, after yougo to the gym let's say you
binge eat or like you have, youknow you, you just you go to the
gym and you're like, oh my gosh, I earned this pack of Oreos,

(18:08):
I'm going to have the Oreos.
That that was my thing before Ilost weight was Oreos, loved
Oreos.
And you say, oh, of course I'mgoing to have a pack of Oreos,
of course I earned it.
Gym, I will have three Oreosand then I will go eat something
.
Good for me.
If you have a history of if you, let's say, if you get into a
situation where you don't wakeup earlier, you don't wake up on

(18:29):
time, and then you skip the gymfor the day, you say, instead
of punishing yourself and this,this is what really this one is
focusing on is don't punishyourself, just stick to the plan
.
So, instead of punishingyourself and saying, oh, I woke
up late this morning and thatmeans that I am not going to get
to the gym today and I'm fatand horrible, this is awful, and
I'm going to work out 10 timestomorrow.
You say, okay, I didn't getinto the gym today and I'm not
going to have time to do ittonight.

(18:50):
Okay, fine, I'm going to go,for I'm.
The most is if you do somethingconsistently and you get
progressively better at it.
And that's where givingyourself again that grace

(19:10):
component matters is because atthe beginning you will suck at
anything new, right, absolutely.
And so grace is giving yourself, grace is allowing yourself to
do it even though you suck at it.
Yep, fantastic, absolutely.
And so that's F's f, and thenthe last one, which most
important one is, is t, andthat's going to be tolerate, the
short-term discomfort.

(19:31):
So I think this is this isactually the one that really
started it all for me.
I I learned this in combinationof therapy, but also working
with a mentor of mine.
His name is rye sports um, he'sa, he's an author, he's a men's
relationship coach, really anincredible guy.
And the just to fit it, to fitit into the acronym, I say
tolerate, short-term discomfort,but what it really is, the

(19:53):
phrase I really like to use isdon't ask for the situation to
get easier, but demand that youbecome greater oh, say it again
say it again don't ask for thesituation to become easier, but
demand that you become greater.
So, the point with this one isit's whenever people think about
improving their life in any way, shape or form, the automatic

(20:24):
response that I've seen from somany people that I see online
and friends and colleagues, etcetera is to try and use the
same space, the same, the sameeffort, the same energy that you
have within you to to betterprocess the negative thoughts
and feelings that are goingthrough your head, to better
process the story.
So the analogy I use for thisis like a house.
You take this same house withthe same amount of square
footage and you're trying torearrange the furniture, or you
can walk around the house alittle bit easier instead of
always bumping into thefurniture.

(20:44):
So that's what a lot of peopletry to do and that's absolutely
valid.
That is 100% fair.
I love it and I actually have aframework for how to make that
process easier.
So I'm all for it.
But all I'm saying is thatthere's a whole other side to
that where you can actually makethe house bigger.
Throw on an extra bedroom,throw on an extra garage in the
back you can make the housebigger.
Your capacity for handlingnegative emotions and feelings

(21:05):
can actually increase with time.
So instead of asking for thesituation to get easier because
you can't control the situation,instead of asking for you know
the negative thoughts andfeelings that are coming up to
go away or asking them to to youknow, asking the situations
causing them to change or how itaffects you to change.
Fine, great, do that.
But I think the more powerfulcomponent that not enough people

(21:26):
talking about is talking aboutis actually increasing your
capacity to tolerate thenegative things and to do the
thing you need to do anyways.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
And how do you do that?

Speaker 3 (21:35):
I love it Absolutely.
So the it really it reallybreaks up into, like I said,
there's there's the twodifferent ways to think about it
.
So there's taking the samespace, making it smaller, taking
the same space and the sameissues Sorry, got that.
Taking the same space andbetter utilizing the space to
process the negative thoughtsand feelings that are in your
head.
So rewriting the furniture.

(21:55):
Then there's also taking thesame furniture that you have and
the same layout that you haveit and improving your capacity.
You know, adding space to thehouse, adding square footage to
the house.
So the two different ways tokind of go about that.
Um, on the on the former sideyou've got of taking the same
thoughts and feelings andbasically consolidating them
into something that's morehelpful.
The framework I like to use forthis is called it's um, three

(22:17):
A's, triple A it's awareness,acceptance and adaptability.
So this is it's actually goesinto what we were talking about
before, on before we got intothis um, where, before we talk
about the podcast, um, which ishow to I forget what the exact,
I forget what the exact promptwas, but essentially how to go
from awareness to acceptance andthen to adjustment.
That was what it was.

(22:38):
So, going from a lot, a lot ofpeople will struggle, I think,
with accepting the fullrepercussions of a situation,
which is why they stay stuck init for way longer than they
should or way longer than theywant to.
So here's what I mean by that.
You've got, let's say, somebodywho is, who is not skilled at
finding a good life partner,right?
So they say I'm not skilled atfinding a good life partner,

(22:59):
great, they've got the first day.
They've got the awareness.
Down the acceptance part, theygo okay, so I accept that I have
this deficiency and that's allthat they accept.
Like that, that's the, that'sthe, that's it.
There's nothing else.
Deeper beyond that, how does itactually change?
How are they actually, then,the last day, going to be able
to adjust?
Well, they can't, becausenothing actually changed.
If nothing changes, nothingchanges.
So, going back to the topawareness, I'm not good, I'm not

(23:22):
skilled at identifying apotential life partner.
Okay, great.
What does that actually mean?
That actually means that maybeyou're impatient.
That actually means that maybeyou're not good at spotting a
good, decent human.
Maybe that means that you Idon't know are not letting
people in quickly enough orefficiently enough, or whatever
that means for you.
That's what you really need toaccept.
That's where the acceptancecomes in.
So that's taking again the samekind of tools and resources and

(23:46):
distilling something down intointo a process that you can much
, much, much easy, much moreeasily create the life that you
want, that way that you'd workwith yeah, yeah, exactly.
And then, on the other side, isthe method that we just went
over, so craft method, which istaking the experiences that you
are facing, because that'sreally what it is when you're
trying to expand the squarefootage of that house.
It's essentially the same thingas asking yourself how do I do

(24:08):
something when I don't have theproof that I can do it?
Because the only reason youhaven't expanded that house so
far is because your brain issitting there saying I'm
terrified, I don't think that Ican.
So then that's the method.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Right, and those self-doubts, those fears and
everything else creep in andhold you right there the whole
time.
So you've made a mention thatanxiety is actually there to
help us, not harm us.
So I mean, that's kind ofinteresting.
People do not look at it thatway.
So you've got a step-by-stepmethod to rewrite an internal
limiting story.
What is that and why do youthink anxiety is actually there
to help us?

Speaker 3 (24:49):
So when you really get down to it, there's a lot of
BS that our head will come upwith.
I know we've talked about itDoesn't it though.
And the reality is it is notthere to harm you.
If you think about when you arepopped out of the womb, popped
into the earth, you don't comewith anxiety, you don't come

(25:11):
with fear.
You are nurtured on what tofear, on what to be anxious of.
And so what will happen overtime, speaking with experts and
research on this, what willhappen over time is that those
things, those those core fearsthat you were taught or nurtured
to be afraid of your brain willalso then come up with walls to
place around them.
So not only are you afraid ofthe little, of the, of the thing

(25:32):
in the middle, you're also thenafraid of this thing that's
adjacent to it.
And then if you're afraid ofthat thing, then you're also
afraid of this thing, and thenthe wall, the barriers, just
keep getting bigger.
So I'll, I'll share with you.
It's relatively very, verypersonal, but again, I'm I'm so
open and I share all this on mypodcast anyways, and I share
this on others podcasts.
So the, the um, the scenario inwhich this this affects me and

(25:53):
how this works for me is I,whenever I was younger, my
anxiety would always kick upwhen, when I was around my
mother, ironically enough,because my mother was, in my
mind at the time, my absolutesavior, but because of our
negative and very toxicrelationship and my anxiety, I
would always get much more panicwhenever she was around.
Yeah, it was also the thingthat quelled it.
So it was a very interestingdynamic.

(26:13):
So, in order for, in order formy brain to protect me from the
emotional you know, theemotional pain that my mother
would cause me just with herissues and everything is, it
would have anxiety attacks and Iwould my, my, my heart rate
would elevate, I would getnauseous, I would have
everything like that.
So I would have these anxietyattacks.
Over time, that anxiety attackdeveloped into a fear of

(26:35):
vomiting.
Because what happened when Ihad the anxiety attack?
I got nauseous and then, if Ithrow up, it's going to be the
end of the world, like it.
So not only did my brain developa fear of interacting with my
mother, but it developed a fearof being nauseous.
And if I'm afraid of beingnauseous, that also means I'm
afraid of throwing up.
And if I'm afraid of throwingup, I don't know what's going to
happen when I throw up, becauseI haven't thrown up since I was

(26:56):
a baby, so I don't rememberwhat it's like, so it must just
entire story.
So it turned into this thingwhere I'm afraid of throwing up.
And I have this fear ofthrowing up, but it has nothing
to do with the original thingthat my anxiety was actually
doing.
So that is the kind of theprocess, if you will, of kind of
what anxiety has the potentialto do, of it will try and

(27:16):
protect you, try and put allthese walls up to hold you away
from that one core situation orone core interaction that you
are really afraid of.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
So what do you think your anxiety is stemming from?
Because, and again for all thelisteners, odds are you know
somebody.
If it's not you, you knowsomebody that has challenges
with anxiety.
So this is a perfectopportunity to understand them
better, what they're goingthrough and if there's any way,
you can help them or at leastagain be there for them.

(27:48):
So I think we're really gettinginto the crux of the
conversation right here.
For a lot of people, a lot ofthe listeners, so when I see
somebody that has that and againwe all know somebody like man,
where's this coming from?
So man, where's this comingfrom?
So Bradley, where's this comingfrom?

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Where it's coming from is very interestingly, when
you interact with somebody,unless it's somebody you're very
, very, very close with, whenyou interact with, let's say,
99.9% of the masses and they areat a point where they're
emotionally charged.
The ironic thing is is thatusually they're emotionally
charged with something thatagain has nothing to do with the
initial thing that actuallybrought on the anxiety in the

(28:29):
first place.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
So for me, for instance since I moved in.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I'm I'm I'm doing much, much better with this now.
But when I moved to New Yorkabout two years ago, uh, there
was, there was a.
There was a time there forabout six months where, moving
to a new city, I got into a newrelationship.
A lot of some old anxiety andpatterns kind of came up, and so
I was some of that kind ofpanic thinking resurfaced and

(28:55):
again, fortunately today much,much better and have a much
better kind of wrangle on it.
But at the beginning of movingto the city it was very
difficult and I would.
It was kind of like so I wouldget on the subway here, right,
the subway in New York goesunder the tunnels, under the
rivers et cetera, and we don'thave tunnels back in.
We don't have subways back inIowa.
So it was like this panickedsituation where I'm afraid of

(29:19):
vomiting came up on the subwayin a new city that I'd never
been in and my brain's like, oh,I haven't been afraid of that
before, let's go see what thatwould be like.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Oh, that's funny.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
And so it's like I'm sitting there probably, you know
, probably on more, I don't know, maybe really was really only
intense, maybe three or fourtimes, but I'm sitting there
hyperventilating on the subway,standing in a corner, and
somebody would look at me and Ilike, face flushed and breathing
heavy and everything.

Speaker 2 (29:43):
So that had a trip yet even more.
You know everybody's staring atyou.
Now you're freaking out.
That's got to escalate thingsright there.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Oh, oh my God, absolutely Cause.
Then it's like, oh my God, whathappens if I do?
And then it's like, yeah, Ithink of me, how do I get home,
et cetera.
So, anyways, back to your thingof like, you know, with the
connections, the emotionalattachment, I had had nothing to
do with it.
So by the time somebodyactually interacts with you,

(30:11):
odds are, it probably hasnothing to do with the, the
thing that you really, that youranxiety was creating the walls
around in the first place.
So, a, keep that in mind.
B, the you know, the.
The.
The biggest thing I think that Iwish more people took into
account with you know, I'm notgoing to say anxiety, but I

(30:35):
think, just with interpersonalconnection in general, is If you
can train yourself just beforeyou have a gut reaction, before
you emotionally react to whatsomebody said, what somebody did
, what somebody thought, whatsomebody expressed, anything
Before you have a personalreaction to it.
If you can just train yourselfto take an extra one second, 10

(30:55):
seconds, to ask yourself how isthis not about me?
Like, how is this about, infact, about what the other
person is doing?
And not only is it going to, Ithink, alleviate for me, at
least it's, it alleviates kindof your personal involvement and
your personal worry about whatthey're doing and then kind of
your not to say right, butyou're right then to have a

(31:15):
reaction.
But it also, I think, for me atleast, it just turns on this
mode in my head where it's likewow, okay, wait, how can I
actually help this person?
Because I know that wasn'tabout me, right, right, so you
know, because again, if you'reencountering somebody like that,
they're probably in a not sogood place.
So I think that for me has beenhuge, or at least that's what I
would hope that somebody wouldapproach me with in that moment.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Well, and that's critical, man, because we're all
wondering, right, you know, man, because we're all wondering,
right, when that's going on,like, okay, how do I best help
this person?
Not judge them, not make itworse but how do I help them?
How do you help yourself whenyou're having a panic attack and
I know you don't have as muchanymore, but back when you did
how do you help yourself, pullout of that?

(31:58):
You're on that subway, you'retripping out, right, you're
afraid you're going to throw up.
Now people are staring at youand you're going underneath the
flipping water and everythingelse.
How do you pull yourself out ofthat?
You, you did, you got off thatsubway.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
So, so and and before I answer that to your, to your
point about it doesn't happenanymore.
It's a day by day operation,pal Like.
That is that is the thing.
It's, um, the biggest takeaway,the biggest thing I always try
and tell people when they jumpinto therapy, when they first
start to get you know, mindset,mental health advice, anything
like that.
The first thing I'll always tellpeople is that it is really one

(32:36):
of those things where it isabout the journey, it's not the
destination.
Because if you and this issomething, honestly that I think
kept me stuck for for a reallylong time is if you, if you
always try and find theframework, if you always try and
find the next step, if you andthis is something honestly that
I think kept me stuck for areally long time is if you
always try and find theframework, if you always try and
find the next step, if youalways try and find the way out,
you kind of miss the forest forthe trees kind of situation.
You miss the journey where youactually healed and where you
actually got past the thing thatwas terrifying you, which means

(32:58):
you have to go back and gothrough it again to actually,
you know, to get to it Like thelesson is going to keep coming
until you've learned the lesson,that's significant.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
That's really significant.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
Yeah, so one of the.
I mean, and it's like you know,don't try and don't.
You can absolutely try, and youknow, cheat the test and get
the answers, but if you do,you're just going to have to
come back and take it again.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
So Okay.
So let's dive into that,because, again, this, this is
the Comeback Chronicles podcast,and you're right in the middle
of the comeback, right?
The how you do it and whatyou're saying is, if you just
try to blow past it, it's justgoing to keep happening, keep
happening, right?
So then what do you do to learnthat lesson?

Speaker 3 (33:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, going back to thesubway situation, I'll put it
this way Whenever I firstencountered that, I was not
thinking this, so I would sayhow I got through it at first
was a lot of deep breaths andwaiting for it to pass, which
sometimes it's where you're at,and that's fine.
But if let's say that happenedto me, let's say that happened
to me now, like with the toolsand the resources that I have

(33:58):
and how I've advocated formyself.
This this past yearspecifically, has been very,
very significant, um, for me.
I've made my podcast, I'vetalked to a lot of people, done
a lot of research I've I'vereally like, I've really
increased my, my tool, my toolset, my capacity for all of this
.
So if this were, let's just say, happened to me now, um, here's
what I would focus on.
Number one, when everyone isthinking about when, when, when

(34:20):
you're in that heightened stateof emotional thing, it doesn't
have to be intense, it can justbe something.
It's just like, oh, this isbugging me today, or, oh, I'm
sad about this today, orwhatever.
Um, oftentimes people are alwaysthinking about the things that
are happening to them.
They're, they're taking,they're taking the things that
are external, and going ininstead of the things, instead
of the power and the capabilitythat is within going out.

(34:41):
So what I mean by that is, youknow, say, I'm sitting there,
nauseous, afraid I'm going tovomit on the subway.
Essentially, in that moment, Ihave two choices.
I can either think about myability to change the situation,
which is next to none.
Or I can think about my abilityto successfully complete the
situation.
To successfully To complete itnot get out of it.

(35:02):
To complete it, two differentthings go to go into it, right,
yeah, um, the kind of the kindof thing that I, that I I get.
I get this from.
I get this from leila hermosi,which is she.
She was interviewed on a, on apanel, something long time ago
and she was interviewed.
She was asked how do you, howdo you handle really difficult,
you know, emotionally chargedthings?

(35:24):
It's like something doessomething, somebody does
something or says something, orsomething happens to you a panic
attack, whatever and she's likelisten, at the end of the day,
have you ever felt a panicattack?
Have you ever experiencedsomething where the worst thing
you felt and experienced wasn'tjust really shitty, just really,
just really poor feelings?
Have you ever has the thingyou've been panicked about ever

(35:45):
actually happened?
Right, right, so that's thething.
So what is the worst casescenario?
The worst case scenario is thatyou feel horrible, you feel
awful and you're not going todie from it.
So, really, what are you leftwith?
You're left with feeling awful.
You know how to feel awful.
You've done that before.
You have a whole track recordof feeling awful.
You've done that before.
Like, there's the you.
You have a whole track recordof feeling awful and making it

(36:07):
through it anyways.
Maybe you didn't, maybe itwasn't you know the best time,
but the point is, um, it reallygoes back to the phrase of like
don't ask for the situation tochange, but demand that you
become greater.
Um, giving yourself the ability,giving yourself the benefit of
the doubt to say, givingyourself the ability, giving
yourself the benefit of thedoubt to say I'm jumping into

(36:30):
this and I'm sitting in it,without perhaps having the
evidence that you could orwithout.
Perhaps you know, perhaps yourbrain is saying one thing,
screaming at you not to, but yougo and decide to do it anyways,
because you know it's gettingcloser to where you want to go.
It creates, slowly but surely,over time, it creates evidence
for yourself that not only canyou do that thing, but you can
also do that other things thatyou maybe thought you couldn't
do, which is why it's reallygreat to start small, because
your brain can't tell thedifference between you know, if

(36:52):
I'm, if I'm sitting here lookingat this thing of gum and I'm
like it's sitting on my desk forwhatever reason, I don't think
I can pick it up Like, if Iactually have that belief.
I don't think I can pick it upLike if I actually have that
belief.
I don't think I can pick it upand then I go pick it up.
Your brain can't tell thedifference between that and
overcoming and sitting inhorrible feelings when you're on
the subway about to vomit.
So start with the very tinythings.

(37:14):
Stay consistent with yourhealth routine.
Do something when you promiseyourself that you would Engage
on social like content creators.
Engage on social media for 30minutes a day, even if you don't
want to like.
Start with the small things.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
That builds the muscle in your brain to actually
then go and do the big things.
And I love the fact you'resaying okay, I'm in a panic
attack, what's the worst goingto happen?
I'm going to feel bad.
I can feel bad, it's okay, I'mnot going to die.
You know, people aren't goingto hate me forever.
I'm not going to die.
People aren't going to hate meforever.
I'm not going to hate myselfforever.
I'm going to feel bad.
I can do that.
And it seems to me that that'sa way of taking control right
there, because it seemed to meand correct me if I'm wrong that

(37:52):
the panic attack you're feelingjust out of control, the
situation is, your adaptivity toit is whatever, but now you're
taking control.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Wait, I can do this, I can deal with this yes, that
the context that adds that isthat you know, during moments of
heightened, just emotionalinstability whether, again,
whether it's just somethingsmall that you're worried about
or a full-blown panic attackwhat people will try and do is
they will try and control thewhole situation, the full bubble
, where they're at, wherethey're, who they're around,

(38:20):
what other people are doing,what other people are saying,
what other people are thinking.
They try and control everything.
Can you control everything,even in the best of moments?
No, no, control yourself,though.
You can control.
You can control what is withinyou, and so it's like reframing
yourself instead, instead offocus, instead of giving
yourself the ability, thepermission to focus on
everything else.
It's like no, reframe it,refocus it within yourself,

(38:44):
because that you can actuallyinfluence.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
And I think that's fantastic, not just for the
people who have panic attacks,but for all of us, because at
one point or another, we allfeel, I'll say, panicked, but at
least you know, greatlyconcerned.
We feel like maybe things aregoing to crap or, you know, bad
things are happening around us,bad things are happening to us,

(39:07):
that kind of thing that we can'tcontrol.
But we can go okay, instead oftrying to do that which I can't,
I can control me, I can controlmy reaction to it and therefore
my actions, and I am going toget through this because I've
controlled the central core ofeverything, which is me Okay,
fantastic.
So how do you yourself, at thispoint and you mentioned you've

(39:31):
gone through a lot of therapy,you've done a lot of research on
your own and you've come upwith a lot of things how do you
keep yourself these days fromand you mentioned it's
day-to-day from going back intothat?
What is your process?
Because now we know thebackground, we know what you do
when it's happening.
Now let's go to the next step,which is how do you keep it from
happening, how do you recognizeit?

(39:52):
And then, what do you do aboutit?

Speaker 3 (39:55):
So this is another concept that I lean on a lot,
again, actually from LeilaHermosi.
A lot of my concepts are takenor inspired by Lela Hermosi.
She's quite literally myfavorite, quite my favorite
human on the planet.
It is it is no, it is noexaggeration to say that in in
in multiple ways that woman haschanged my life, and if I ever

(40:16):
got the opportunity, I say itwherever I go, cause I'm like
you know what, I don't knowwho's going to hear what.
If I ever got the opportunityto work for acquisitioncom, I
will give up everything I'mdoing in a heartbeat and jump
over there.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
So for which say it again, which place whichcom
acquisitioncom?
It's, it's their company, okay,okay.
Put it out there, buddy, I'vegot a couple of listeners and
I've got a couple of high levellisteners, so you never know.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
I love it.
I love it.
No, it's a.
It's.
It's a holding company.
They do about five I thinkthey're up to about 500, 600
million a year.
It's run by two of the mostamazing humans I've ever seen.
So Layla Hamosi.
She talks a lot about, shedemystifies a lot of this stuff
with specifically aroundentrepreneurship, mindset, just
personal excellence, et cetera.
So framework that she shared,that I've kind of adapted into

(40:59):
this, is it's concept ofreturning to baseline.
So when at the very, at thevery kind of beginning of, let's
say, a, you know, a journey tobetter yourself, personal
excellence, there might besomething that somebody says or
does that really makes you mador really makes you feel a
certain way, or whatever.
You have a very strongemotional reaction to it.
You will fly off of baseline.
You know baseline just being.

(41:20):
You know how you're kind ofliving and acting on a normal
day, every day.
You will fly off of baseline.
You're, you know baseline, justbeing.
You know how you're kind ofliving and acting on a normal
day, every day.
You will fly off of baseline.
You're, you know you go way offthe chart, right, let's say it
takes you a day, a week, a month, whoever you know, who knows,
based on the situation, toreturn to baseline.
So to answer your question ofwhat I do now, is I focus on
that a lot.
I focus on I'm not trying tomake myself not fly off of

(41:43):
baseline, I'm working on myability to return to baseline
quicker and quicker and quicker.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Love it, love it.
In fact, say it again and again.
Listeners, I know I do this,but I want to make sure you're
catching these nuggets that arein here.
I want to make sure they don'tjust pass you by because you got
distracted driving or whatever.
Bradley, say that one again forme you got distracted driving,
or?

Speaker 3 (42:03):
whatever Bradley say, that one again for me.
So what I'm?
What I'm focusing on now and Ithink it's it's beneficial for
anybody at any at any stage ofjourney.
But what I'm focusing on now as, as somebody who you know I've
been in therapy for for severalyears, I still go to therapy
once every other week, highlyrecommend it for everyone out
there, but I also take a lot oftime and effort in advocating
for my own mental health and for, you know, for those around me.

(42:25):
The one of the biggest thingsthat I will say for maintaining
and adapting a solid, I think,base and foundation for yourself
is, instead of trying to avoidthe situation in which you fly
off the handle, in which youhave the strong emotional
response, have the strongemotional response, but every
time you do return to baseline1% faster, get more skilled at

(42:49):
letting it be there and thenreturning to baseline, because
you can't control when you willfly off the handle, but you can
control how quickly you returnto essentially what it is is you
can't control how quickly youaccept what happens.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what.
That's what I'm catching fromthat that you're you're not
hating yourself for reactingthat way, it's not.
Oh my God, I'm a horribleperson.
It happened again exasperationand everything else.
You're like, okay, this is cool, this is all right, this
happens and it's part of me andI love me, it's all right.
But I can now take back controlmore quickly, come back to that

(43:23):
centered level more quickly, andit's all okay, because now,
instead of being no power againit's kind of back to that you
are taking power back.
You are taking control backlittle by little, by little by
little, and you can do just likebuilding any muscle, going back
to your workout comparisons,you know, just like building any

(43:44):
muscle, you're building themuscle to come back more quickly
, more quickly.
It makes perfect sense to meand I think that's something
that people can understand andthat they can do.
What else, as we're gettingnear the end of our time here,
what else would you like toshare with people?
As far as, okay, they've hadthese challenges and now they
understand a little bit betterhow to, how to deal with them

(44:06):
and how to work with that.
What else would you like toshare with them before we're out
of time here.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
The, the, the concepts that it's.
It's rather new.
It's rather new concept thatthat I've like vocalized but I
feel like I've been in one wayor another kind of lived it for
for a long time, but it's, it'sjust one of those things that,
like I heard personally that I'mlike oh, wow.
That like sums up my existence,existence, experience, which is
pain is required, but sufferingis not.

(44:35):
I think I think so much aboutthis and the, the kind of the,
the tactical way that I will,that I think about that then.

Speaker 2 (44:44):
And you know I'm going to interrupt you again, so
you can repeat that again.
That's a good one, baby.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
Pain is required, but suffering is not.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Love it.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
So another way to put this is like if you do hard
things off, then everythingbecomes easy.
So the analogy that I like tothink about is that's like you
know, like a hot and cold shower.
So if you get into a hot shower, what happens?
After a couple of minutes thetemperature becomes kind of that
lukewarm thing and you maybeeven get a little bit cold, and
then you have to go back and youhave to turn on even more hot
water to get yourself to feelingthe way you were before, and
then the process repeats itself.

(45:14):
So that's like doing easythings right.
It's kind of it's dopamine.
You need more of it for thethings that keep being easy.
But if you do hard things, ifyou jump in the cold shower,
what happens?
Your body actually acclimatesto it.
Is it comfortable at thebeginning or even comfortable
midway through?
No, but your body acclimates toit and without changing the
temperature, without changingthe inputs and the situation
around you, it actually becomeseasier.

(45:35):
So I think doing hard thingsoften will, and just training
your brain to look at look athard things as opportunities,
not roadblocks, and it's likegetting getting yourself to the
point where you can say, oh,again back to the curiosity
thing, I haven't done thatbefore.
I wonder what that's going tobe like.
Or oh, I know that I've ranfrom that before.
Or oh, I, I know that that'sgoing to be really uncomfortable

(45:57):
at first.
But I wonder what's, on theother side, training your brain
to look at those things and notnot to to just run away, not to
let fight or flight kick up, butto say I actually want to go
make the proof that I can dothat and I'm doing in terms of
the way we talked about it'sit's the hard things become
easier.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
The hard things become easier.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
And the and the pain of the.
You know, the pain of themoment is just simply that, and
but it's, it's that sufferingthat we inflict on ourselves
because we let the pain have astory.
That's what becomes optional.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
That's what becomes a shorter and shorter story, I
think every time I love it.
I love it.
Well, we are indeed out of time, but, bradley, this has been
fantastic information, veryenlightening for a lot of us,
for everybody who's goingthrough the challenges, which is
truly everybody it just dependson what level and then for
everybody else to understand,when we see people going through
these things, what's happeningand how we can help them and how

(46:50):
they can help themselves.
So, for everybody listening, Ithink you've got a lot of tools
here today which is what Ialways want with this podcast
for when you're going throughthe challenges, you're feeling
those emotions, what you can doabout it, that they're okay, the
way that you work with them isup to you.
Work with them, become stronger, doing it, use the craft method

(47:10):
that Bradley talked about andput all of this together and you
, indeed, can have your ownComeback Chronicle.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more

(47:44):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
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