August 1, 2025 • 37 mins
Sascha Gorokhoff defies medical impossibility, transforming from a child given no chance of survival to an internationally recognized executive with prestigious academic credentials. His story demonstrates how rejecting others' limitations and choosing your own path can lead to extraordinary accomplishments despite overwhelming odds.
• Born with rare medical conditions including spina bifida, doctors predicted paralysis, cognitive impairment, and death by age seven
• Developed philosophy of "I'm not defined by someone else's memo" from an early age
• Reframes "disabled" as "differently abled" - focusing on capabilities rather than limitations
• Completed two bachelor's degrees in under three years and received executive education from top global institutions
• Overcame challenging childhood with emotionally unavailable parents
• Emphasizes the power of choice and clear goal-setting in overcoming obstacles
• Recommends celebrating small victories and reframing failures as valuable lessons
• Believes "There's a fine line between victim and victory. A couple of letters, and you choose"
• Encourages surrounding yourself with people who support your vision
Visit www.Saschaleadership.com to learn more about Sascha Gorokhoff 's speaking engagements and coaching.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host Terry L FossumL Fossum.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hey, this is Terry L Fossum, and welcome back to the
Comeback Chronicles podcast.
There's an amazing story thatyou're about to hear today
that's going to blow you away,inspire you and give you some
actionable items to be able tomove forward with anything
that's holding you back.
Because I can pretty muchguarantee you this story I can't
(00:47):
say it's worse than yours.
I don't know your story, butman, is this an amazing story?
Let's get into it.
Sasha Gorokhov wasn't supposedto live.
He wasn't supposed to walk.
He wasn't supposed to thinkclearly, speak powerfully or
lead anyone, let alone inspirethousands.
Diagnosed at birth with one ofthe rarest and most severe
(01:11):
combinations of medicalconditions, he was expected to
be paralyzed, cognitivelyimpaired and gone by the age of
seven.
His survival defied logic.
His thriving defied logic.
His thriving defied science.
His very existence listen israrer than being struck by
(01:36):
lightning.
He didn't just beat the odds,he made them irrelevant.
Where statistics said die,sasha said watch me rise.
Where science whispered no,sasha roared.
Yes, he obliterated everylimitation with a fire that no
diagnosis, no upbringing and noenvironment could possibly
contain.
But Sasha's story goes fardeeper than physical survival.
(01:59):
He was raised in a pressurecooker of privilege and
psychological warfare.
A paradoxical world where lovecame with conditions and
presence was never promised.
His mother, shaped byborderline and narcissistic
patterns, ruled the emotionaltrain, with volatility,
gaslighting and ever-shiftingstorms.
(02:22):
Reality bent to her emotions.
Warmth could vanish withoutwarning.
One moment he was adored, thenext erased.
His father, a brilliant yetemotionally distant CFO, chose
work over fatherhood, resultsover relationship.
(02:42):
Sasha was never enough, valuedonly when silent, exceptional or
invisible.
There was no hope in the worldfor a boy like Sasha, except for
(03:02):
the hope that came from within.
Listen, sasha completed twobachelor's degrees with honors
and a marketing certificate inunder three years, a feat that
takes most people eight.
He earned an executive master'sin international negotiation
and policymaking from theGraduate Institute of Geneva,
which operates in directpartnership with the United
Nations, the World TradeOrganization and the World
(03:24):
Economic Forum.
Alumni of this includes headsof state, nobel laureates and
international power brokers.
He then received executiveeducation from IMD, ranked among
the top three business schoolsin the world.
He served in leadership rolesat the federal and local levels
in Switzerland at executiveboard appointments in Geneva's
(03:46):
most prestigious businessnetwork An amazing comeback
story.
Thank you so much for joiningme, sasha.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Thank you so much for having me, Terry.
It's really a pleasure to bewith you today.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
So so much to unwrap, so much.
You started off.
You're not even supposed tolive Now.
There was an innate will withinyou already that said no, no,
that's not the way it's going toend up, but that will kept
developing despite all theseodds.
(04:20):
And there's a lot of peoplelistening and of course, that's
what you and I both care aboutis the listeners right now, who
are going through a lot ofchallenges themselves.
You went through physicalchallenges.
You went through emotionalchallenges, psychological
challenge.
You went through mostchallenges that are available
today.
What do you think it was aboutyou that got you coming back
(04:41):
from them time after time aftertime again?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Well, as you say.
Thank you for summarizing allof this very, very well.
For me, the story began reallyat the moment of my birth, where
it was death or life.
Life, as you said, was thoughtto be impossible very, very
short.
Then were all the otherchallenges, but I very quickly
realized I'm not defined bysomeone else's memo.
(05:10):
I'm not defined by what otherpeople think or project.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I've got to stop you because that's too beautiful.
I'm not defined by someoneelse's memo.
I love that you define yourself.
Nobody else does.
Is that what you're?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
saying.
That's exactly what I'm sayingI've always and that has
accompanied me throughout lifeand I'm 47 by the end of the
year is says who and says you,so it's not because it's
impossible, even statistically,that it cannot be done.
Now, if it can be done, which Ibelieve that it can, because it
(05:54):
starts with self-belief.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
If you don't believe it nobody else will.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
In fact, nobody else did believe what I saw yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I just said okay my legs were moving.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, I thought very young, my legs were moving when
I was born.
They shouldn't have.
They said it was going to be areflex, it would stop.
It didn't stop, year after yearafter year.
So I said, okay, this isunlikely to happen in my, in my
notes, in my memo, right.
But then it's about knowingwhat it is you really want.
(06:25):
And I've always known that if Iwant to make it, I will have to
shoot higher than most, or atleast aim higher.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
So I remember very, very young.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
As you said, my father was a very driven CFO.
He had an MBA of a very, veryprestigious business school.
And very young I asked thequestion, I said, okay, what's
the number one business schoolout there or school out there,
university out there?
I said, if I can aim for thehighest, I will probably.
(07:01):
I will likely finish at thehighest.
I don't know how, but I will atleast be there where I want to
be.
And at the time they answeredHarvard.
And, as you said, many, manyyears later synchronicity
brought me to IMD, which thenhappened to be the number one
business school in the world.
But it's about knowing what itis you want, clearly defining it
(07:22):
, and then asking yourself sayswho and what do you say really?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute, sasha.
Wait a minute.
You're not supposed to eventhink clearly.
Remember I did the introductionwhere you weren't supposed to
even think clearly?
Where did you get off thinkingyou were going to go to one of
the, if not the most prestigiousschools in existence?
Where do you even come offthinking of that?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
So let me take you back in smaller steps.
I always had the belief itcould be done, so teachers
wanted well doctors written meoff.
So very early on I really madeit clear that unless I needed
them, I did not want them in mylife.
I like that, I like that a lot,because I don't want to hear
(08:13):
their memo.
And if I don't need them, thenwhy should I have somebody in my
life who's not contributingpositively to the choices I have
made and to my goals andmissions and vision?
Even at four years old Ithought this way, or five years
old.
I also remember that I was alsovery interested in the world
(08:35):
and always asked how do thingswork?
Why do things work, how dothings function?
And very early on I asked forthere were these picture book
series in Europe where theywould show you the components
and how they were put togetherand how it would work.
I was fascinated by these thingsand very early on I realized
well, all of these things weresaid to be impossible at some
(08:59):
point.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, yet they were done.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So that it is reasonable to believe that, even
as a child, it's reasonable tothink that, well, the best
business school at four or fiveor six years old wasn't the
issue, but it was the plan, itwas an idea.
If I'm the highest, what is it?
But then it's reasonable tobelieve that kindergarten can be
passed and every school gradethereafter can be passed, and
(09:25):
can be achieved.
But I faced obstacles, andmainly obstacles, of people who
did not believe or people whohad hidden agenda or very
narcissistic agendas, like mymother, who was all about
herself, so it's alsounderstanding about people's
agenda.
Very young I had a sense thatshe was not well at all.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
When I was born, she disappeared to bed for 10 years
of my life, which turned out tobe imaginary back problems.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
It came out later in life.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
But I realized okay, I only have myself really, and
if I don't decide, who else isgoing to decide?
So I remember when I wastraveling.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So let me ask you this, sasha.
So you've hit on many bigthings.
I really want to make sure thatthe audience is hearing.
First of all, if you've gotpeople in your life that don't
share your memo, then get themout of your life.
There's no reason in that.
But also you believed, okay,you're all alone.
You believed you were all alone, but you didn't take that as a
negative.
Oh, I'm all by myself.
(10:28):
Oh, how horrible, how terrible.
You said, okay, I got me, andif that's what I've got, then
that's what I've got.
Let's roll with this.
It sounds like that was yourthought process going into all
that.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Correct you know people throughout life in
younger years, not Correct youknow people throughout life in
younger years, not so muchanymore in adult life, but in
younger years.
Asked me wouldn't you like tonot have the condition?
And I said I don't know whatthat means.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I mean, I can relate, I have empathy, but I cannot
not have the condition.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
So no, I am me and I am me with everything that I am
and I'll make the best out ofwho I am.
And you touched on somethingvery important.
When I was young and throughoutschooling I was very, very
bullied and excluded because Iwas born with.
One of the conditions is spinabifida, so I was born with an
(11:18):
open lower back.
So they closed it in skin withskin in 1978 and it's much later
that they found out they couldhave put in a metal plate Too
late for me because the nervescrewed to the skin they can't
open it again, oh wow.
But I was excluded from allsports because obviously
children they can't comprehend.
If they push me too violently Icould be in a wheelchair, I
(11:38):
could be dead.
In the beginning girls were myfriends and when girls became
interested into boys, I was nolonger a choice, because I was
different.
And yes, did I suffer.
But I also asked.
I remember being in my roomthinking to myself when I was
about five maybe, or maybe alittle younger, and said what is
(12:00):
it about me?
And then I realized it's notabout me per se, it's about the
projection of me and then,therefore, I'm not different and
that's when I started.
I wouldn't I don't want to sayreject, but I chose a different
label than disabled for me and Isaid I'm differently able, I'm
(12:23):
going to do things different andI'm going to find a way which
is a legit way, a legal way.
I've never cheated in school oranything else, but I'm going to
find a way that is my way, withmy set of conditions, with my
set of circumstances that willhelp me get there wherever there
(12:44):
was and the there's throughoutlife have changed, but wherever
there was, whereas maybe in thebeginning it was, there is
passing kindergarten and itevolved
Speaker 1 (12:54):
but, whatever there is, I said okay, I can't change
this.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
I can't change the tools I was born with.
I can't change that certaintools are different than from
others.
But I can also not cry on it,complain about them and say,
okay, this is me and let me justdo the best out of it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
And there's a story when I was very young that was
told and I want, I want to hearthat real quick, I want to make
sure that the audience caughtthis too, though the differently
abled, and a lot of times youknow, happily, we're hearing
that it's not disabled, it'sdifferently abled.
Okay, we are all differentlyabled, we all are.
So if you're going, man, Idon't have this skill, I don't
(13:33):
have this talent, I'm dumb inthis direction, whatever you're
feeling, you've got othertalents.
So stop worrying about the onesyou don't have and focus on the
ones you do and make use ofthem Right.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Stop worrying about the ones you don't have and
focus on the ones you do andmake use of them.
Right, it's exactly.
And much later in life, inadulthood as of my early 20s.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
That's what I would tell people.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
I do not subscribe to the notion of disabled, because
nobody is ever disabled.
We're all differently abled.
We're all differently abled andwe have a choice which was
another biggie in my life achoice to either give up,
complain, cry over whatever hashappened or whatever we are,
(14:15):
that we are not like others, orsay this is what it is.
Is it going to change?
If it can change and change it,if it doesn't change like in my
case, it won't change Then makethe best out of it.
Make the best out of it andthen develop the self-awareness.
So the story I was going to tellyou very young I don't remember
this I had my milk bottle onthe table and I must have been
(14:38):
already very aware of what Ishould and should not do, of
what I should and should not do,and I crawled to the table and
I pulled the cloth down and Icaught the bottle and I crawled
away Because I apparently wasvery self-aware that if I
climbed the table, that was avery bad idea if I could fall.
(15:01):
But then the other point ischoice and self-awareness, and
that's really what has guided methroughout life is choice.
You have a choice and to definewho you are, you have a choice
to not listen to the memos thatare not aligned with that.
Now I would recommend you askyourself whether these people
(15:21):
have a point, because if theyhave, a point you may learn
something from it.
But if they don't have a point,and it's just another layer that
is becoming a real disability,if you listen, then I would
recommend you really don't andyou follow your own belief.
I always knew deep down insidethat I would make it whatever
(15:43):
make it was at the time,throughout different periods of
my life.
Obviously, that changed, as itall changes for us, and it's
every day reminding yourself youdo have a choice.
So when I understood, as I wassaying before, that it isn't
actually about me, it's aboutthe projection of others, and
that's why I always tell peopleI'm as to use the term that I
don't like to use, but it fitsin society.
(16:04):
I'm as disabled as I am throughyour eyes, because I don't feel
I am there are certainlimitations.
There are certain things that Ican't ignore, that are different
from so-called medicallyhealthy people, but I don't feel
I'm disabled.
I feel like, okay, then we'llfind a way or we'll make a way,
(16:25):
and that's what I've always doneand, in fact, that's what I
always say.
There's a fine line betweenvictim and victory.
A couple of letters you choose.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Ooh, ooh, I love that .
I absolutely love that.
Say it again.
I want to make sure everybodyheard that.
Go for it again, please.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
There are a couple of letters between victim and
victory and you choose.
While they said I was going tobe a victim, I said no, I'm
victorious.
Do I know how?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, but I am, and somehow a way will appear and
somehow that's the way it willappear and that's so critical.
Please, everybody listening on,I want to make sure you're
really listening to this andagain, maybe you've heard that
in your different motivationalstuff you listen to.
Listen.
This is Sasha that you'relistening to here.
He wasn't supposed to live, hewasn't supposed to walk, he
(17:12):
wasn't supposed to think okay,he could have been a victim.
We've seen these people who arevictims with so much more going
for them than he theoreticallydid.
He chose the correct couple ofletters to change it to
victorious, and you can too andindeed, if you look
statistically, I'm the 0.00001percent.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yet that's how essentially I made it.
And you know, even today I'mhappily married to a wonderful
woman and she often looks at meand she says how?
Because she's physically fullyabled and fully medically
healthy, so to speak.
And we've been together for 12years and she still asks me
something, but how?
And I simply answer because Ihave decided, I have made the
(17:58):
choice, I have decided and thenI do it, or I'll find the way,
or the way will come to me.
But I have decided.
And when she said but I said itis so, I have made up my mind
that it is so.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And so it will be.
I literally got goosebumps withthat one, my friend, because I
have decided I want everybodywrite that down, write that
because I have decided now.
But sasha, does that really doit?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
it does, doesn't it it does, and you know I've also
been asked multiple times, butyou could have reacted different
said yeah, but what?
Good, would that do what goodwould that do if I would be
crying over my whatever problems, conditions or whatnot?
Yes, we all fall.
The problem isn't falling.
We all do, whether we'remedically considered healthy or
(18:52):
not or anything in between, orwhatever.
Whoever we are, everything isfine and we all fall it's okay
to rest.
It's okay to sit down, but whatwill define you is if you get
back up right, right, and I havefallen in my life and sometimes
in my life and I have said,look, I am taking a break yeah,
(19:12):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I'm not saying I'm giving up, I'm just saying I'm
taking a break from all of this.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm just you're gonna , you're going to find me up.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I'm just saying I'm taking a break from all of this
You're going to find me outthere on my lounge chair.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I'm taking a break from all of this and that's okay
, right, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
but never have.
I said you know what I give up.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Never have I said this.
As I said, get back up.
I always said to my conditionor the universe whoever you want
to believe in and others, youcan push me down, I'll get back
up.
It's a confidence of knowingand that confidence is really
something you have to buildinside and how does, how does
(19:48):
somebody do that?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
there's a lot of people who have been beaten down
.
You know bad conditions, badupbringing, bad whatever.
How do you build that up insideof you?
How do you build that up insideof you?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
There's again.
It all starts with a choice, orwhat is the alternative choice?
You can start with thealternative choice, and if you
don't like the alternativechoice, well then you have to
kind of make the opposite choice, because I think there's really
only two choices yes or no.
Hot and cold.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And once you've made that decision, we live in the
duality universe really.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
So if you don't like the outcome of your decision,
change it.
There you go.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It is really as simple as that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
And then it's about reminding yourself to your
commitments.
Change it, there you go.
It is really as simple as that.
And then it's about remindingyourself to your commitments and
it's about self-committing,Because nobody else.
You cannot expect that anybodyelse.
It's nice if it comes, but youcan't expect it that anybody
else comes.
And is your encouragement Right.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Because it's nice if you have that.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
It's wonderful, Cherish that if you have that.
It's wonderful Cherish that ifyou have that.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
But you have to become your own cheerleader and
know why you want something andif the other people in your life
aren't sharing that memo, getthem out of your life.
You don't have to subscribe totheir memo.
Just like you said, you writeyour own memo and find the
people that subscribe to it, andyou know this is what I said.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I come come back to what I said in the beginning.
At birth, it was life or death.
Number two was a terriblechoice.
According to me, number onewasn't, was a court was
apparently impossible to do.
Yet I did it, and that's why Ialways tell people everything is
possible If you know how, andthroughout life I've learned how
, now Learned how.
Now can I tell you that ifyou're in a wheelchair and
(21:35):
paralyzed, you will magicallyget up and walk.
No, my bladder has beenparalyzed since birth.
I used catheters to go to thebathroom.
It still is the case, but itdoes not need to define you and
you can still thrive if you havedecided so.
I've seen so many people whohave given up because they have
not decided another way.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
They kind of did decide.
They decided to give up, right?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Well, they blame outside circumstances, and they
let themselves be defined byoutside circumstances Instead of
saying I'm going to make my ownchoice and in some way it makes
sense, Because if you look backat life, when you're a toddler
or a young child.
Your parents make decisions foryou.
Sometimes they're well-meaningparents, sometimes they're
(22:18):
terrible parents, but they makedecisions for you for very good
reasons.
But as we grow up, we keep inthat loop of letting somebody
else decide.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Right, giving them the power.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Exactly when are you going to take back your own
power to choose?
And that's what I've alwaysasked people, and from a very
young age, I've decided to takemy power to choose and if I like
my choice, I went with it.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If I didn't, then I changed it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
And I said, you're always free to change your
choice along the way, and it'show you approach challenges.
Either you can approachchallenges as saying this is the
most awful thing in theuniverse or saying, hmm,
interesting, okay, great, I seeyou, I'm still going to make it,
(23:08):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So is it really that simple, sasha?
Is it really that simple?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
It kind of really, is it?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
kind of really is it kind of really is.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Look, of course there is much more and there are
multiple frameworks that I'mconsulting people on, that I'm
speaking about, that I'mconsulting companies on, because
you can go into much moredetail.
But for the audience in general, it's about mindset, it's about
choice and it's about knowingyour values and knowing where
(23:39):
you want to go.
So many people in audiencesaround the world I have seen who
have to begin with no ideawhere they want to go Right.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And then I tell people look, I'd love to help
you, but if you don't know whereyou want to go and how it looks
like I can't help you.
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
It's like if you don't know where to you want to
go and how, it looks like Ican't help you, right?
It's like if you say I want acar, well, okay, great, I bought
you a formula one car and thenyou complained and I said, well,
that's impractical, I don'tknow how to drive it and I don't
know how to drive around themiles an hour anyways, and you
can't drive this thing.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It's not road legal.
We said you wanted a car.
What do you complain?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
about and I said you have to know what you want, and
I always had clear goals.
What did it?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
look like so, would you say that would be somebody's
first step, no matter whatposition they're in right now.
Good, bad, whatever.
Figure out what you want anddefine it specifically.
Would you say it is a prettygood first step?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yes, so you will hear in a different episode.
When my wife Gemma, and whenshe came into my life after
going through what she wentthrough, which I will let you
discover in her episode, thefirst thing I literally did like
I've done with many people is Ihave her sit down and say okay,
this has happened.
(24:53):
Well, what do you want now?
And she wanted to get up and gointo her old habits and said no
, no, no, we're going to besitting right here and we're
going to decide.
You are going to decide, I'mgoing to guide you.
What is it you want now?
And she came up with anotheranswer eventually and said well,
(25:16):
I can help you with that.
And that was long before wewere even in love.
So the story really starts withif you don't know where you're
going, how do you know you'regoing to get there?
And how do you know that you'rethere once you have arrived?
If you don't know where it is,you've arrived because you don't
know what you want to beginwith.
It's like a GPS put into thenavigation and say bring me
(25:36):
somewhere.
It will bring you somewhere Ifyou don't know where you want to
go, you will not get there, andthat's what I tell people often
Go out call Amazon, tell themdeliver me something.
But if they deliver yousomething you don't like, then
don't complain and most likelythey will not deliver you
anything because they willprioritize everybody else who
(25:57):
knows what they want oh, there'sa lot in that.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
There's a lot, and not to mention if you're focused
on where you're at and how badthings are and all that.
You're not focused on where youwant to go, so you're going to
stay right where you're focusedon, and first, it's going to
magnetize, it's going to getworse, because what you focus on
expands, and that is reallytrue.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
And that's why I say the first choice is know, what
you want Know where you want togo, even if it means, even if
you're in a terrible situationand it is just going through the
day.
Great, Go through the day, gothrough the week, go through the
months.
And then celebrate yourvictories.
What is maybe nothing forsomeone is maybe everything to
(26:40):
you.
Don't let anybody belittle your.
Everything Right on, because itis not little, it is just
little to them.
To you it is everything.
So do not let somebody elsebelittle your everything.
Maybe, taking one step is thehardest thing for you in the
world.
If you've done that,congratulations.
(27:00):
Applaud yourself you havesucceeded.
Write down your successes Everyday.
Write down or take a mentalnote of your successes, because
you will rewire your brainpositively.
Brain science has shown this inthe meantime in all of these
past decades.
It's a big deal.
In three weeks to three months,you have rewired your brain, so
keep track of your successes,celebrate yourself, but if you
(27:22):
don't know where you're going,you don't know when you have
arrived and you don't know whatit looks like.
So be clear, Then take steps,whatever it be.
For somebody it might not befirst step.
For somebody it might be abillion dollars.
Great.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
That's also fantastic no-transcript, but celebrate
(28:11):
whatever those things are like.
It helps rewire.
So you've decided where youwant to go, you've decided I'm
doing it and you're celebratingsuccesses along the way.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
You are and you're recommitting to your choices
every single day, if need be,multiple times a day.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Outstanding.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Especially people who may have ADD or ADHD.
For them, it is more difficultto commit to a choice over a day
or many days.
A choice over a day or manydays?
Well then, write them down on apost-it note and put it on your
mirror, put it where you see itevery day, and recommit, with
full intention, to it again andagain, and again, and again and
(28:50):
again until your goal hasreached, and if, in the meantime
, you grow out of your goal, itis also fully okay to change
your goal.
You don't have to accomplishsomething because you once said
I mean my example, I once saidat five years old that I wanted
to do something.
And when I and at 17, 18 or 20,.
(29:12):
I find this to be unnecessary orvery stupid because it was from
the perspective offive-year-old.
It's okay to change your goal.
You're not obliged to commitsomething that you no longer
want to commit to.
Nor are you obliged to committo something just for the sake
of it.
You are free to change yourgoals, but I would recommend
don't change them because itbecame difficult, it became
tough or you encounteredfriction.
(29:33):
We all do Change them if youreally no longer are aligned
with them or if you no longeridentify with them.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So, sascha, I know we're getting close to the end
of our time here.
What happens, though?
You're going towards your goalsand, of course, again, you've
had a lot of setbacks and youpushed through everything.
What happens if, okay, thingsdidn't go well, you know I
failed, I failed.
What's your mentality when thathappens?
Because I know it has it has,and I've learned something.
(30:03):
There's no such thing asfailure-only lessons.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
You do not want to wire your brain on failure.
I said earlier write down yoursuccesses.
The other thing is write downyour lessons.
So when I coach people and theycome back, instance, and say,
well, that it's not going theway it was supposed to go or I
failed, I said let's reframethis, it's a lesson.
Now let's go back, take acouple, take our steps back in
(30:31):
time and see where did it gowrong, so that next time we have
learnings from that and nexttime we are not repeating this.
So nothing is a failure,everything is a learning.
And I would really recommend andthat has served me well to not
be stuck on failure but onlessons, because you can learn
(30:52):
if it went well well greatrepeat If you want to repeat, if
it didn't look, what you canlearn to make it go well the
next time and succeed the nexttime, because then you come away
with learnings and you becomebetter and better, and better
and better.
And throughout my life andthat's what I'm consulting as
well on I came up, I came with alot of learnings to save people
(31:14):
a whole bunch of time.
No, matter what it is you'regoing through, whether it is
personal, your business orwhatever you're in, to save you
a whole bunch of time Because,as you said, I came back from so
much, I faced so much, yet Isucceeded every time.
Sometimes, it took longer thanother times.
Sometimes I had to take adetour because there was a wall
in front of me.
(31:34):
I said I don't feel likerunning against the wall, so
I'll have to find a way aroundit.
It will take a little bitlonger, but that's what I bring,
and please find things to begrateful for, because it will
actually help you to focus onthe positive things.
And that's what I always alsotell people when they come with
(31:57):
I failed or I have a problem, Isaid okay, I hear you, I really
hear you.
I do with all my heart, withall my soul.
How can we turn this into agood thing?
What good, possibly, whatpossible good can come out of
this I love that In my case, oneof the possible good that came
(32:19):
out of this is 47 years of lifeSoon.
A ton of learnings, a ton offrameworks that can save you and
everybody in the audiencesaround the world a ton of time.
Yet, as I always say, if youdon't apply what somebody
teaches you, it will never workAbsolutely.
(32:40):
Not because somebody else did it, or somebody else tells you the
exact game plan and how to doit.
That will just fall from thesky.
You have to practice it foryourself and you have to
recommit and recommit, andrecommit until it's automatic
for you.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
And understanding the hardships that we're all going
through become the inspirationalstories for others.
So all these to me, thehardships I've gone through, I
thank God for those, becausethose are the stories that help
inspire other people who aregoing through similar situations
, and that's where your story, Iknow, is inspiring a lot of
people as well.
(33:14):
We're running out of time.
What thought would you like toleave the?
Speaker 3 (33:20):
audience with Sasha.
That's a very good question,Something that we have not
covered yet is really you willnever achieve anything alone,
but alone is not.
The same thing as lonely.
Achieve anything alone, butalone is not the same thing as
(33:43):
lonely and you are never alone.
You might be currentlysurrounded by the wrong people.
You can make a choice to changethat.
You can make a choice if you'rea young person listening to
this and you can't change thefirst people around you right
now because they may be yourparents or whatnot.
To make a choice if you're ayoung person listening to this
and you can't change the firstpeople around you right now
(34:04):
because they may be your parentsor whatnot to make a choice to
not be like them.
I always made a choice, since avery young age, although my
mother treated me horribly and Ilet you look up in the audience
what it means to live withsomebody who has narcissistic
personality disorder andborderline personality disorder,
plus probably many moredisorders.
(34:27):
But I always said I will be asource of love, no matter how
the world treats me because thatis also a choice.
So that is really my message tothe audience You're never alone,
and lonely is a temporarystatus that you can change.
(34:48):
And again, that is your choiceto change it.
It is your choice how you think, how you believe, what you say,
how you think, and it is achoice to come back and recommit
to it all of the time.
And, as I said earlier, that'swhat I really want to say and
repeat.
There is a fine line betweenvictim and victory.
(35:09):
A couple of letters and youchoose.
Nobody else will make thechoice for you.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
You do.
I love that.
Where can people find out moreabout you I know you do,
speaking electronically.
You're not traveling to placesyou speak electronically.
Fantastic talks there.
Where can people find out moreabout you and your talks and
everything else?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
So you can go.
The easiest way is to go on mywebsite.
It's wwwsashaleadershipcom,that's S-A-S-C-H-A,
leadershipcom, or then with myfull name, wwwsashagorokoffcom,
but that may be more complicated.
So just go with the SashaLeadership S-A-S-C-H-A, and from
(35:50):
there you can reroute throughthe entire site.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Wonderful.
So for all the listeners again,surround yourself.
Set your own memo, set yourdecisions.
Surround yourself with peoplewho support your memo and if
they don't find different peoplewho do, make the decision.
You have the power.
Don't give it to somebody else.
You have the power.
Decide and then move forwardand celebrate all those small
(36:17):
things, whether anybody'scelebrating with you or if
you're just proud.
Celebrate those things.
Make whether anybody'scelebrating with you or if
you're just proud, celebratethose things.
Make the decisions every singleday.
Figure out where you're going,decide where you want to go.
Keep deciding every single day.
You've got the power within you.
Do all of these things andlisten.
You can have your own ComebackChronicle.
(36:38):
Sasha, thanks so much forjoining us and sharing your
story and your wisdom with ustoday.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Thank you for having me, terry.
It's really been a joy and apleasure, and you're a great
inspiration to me too.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I appreciate that.
All right, you take care, Goget them buddy.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(37:20):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
If you've been stuck in fear, self-doubt, your past
failures and you're ready tobreak through your comfort zones
to finally reach the pinnacleof success in every area of your
life, then this podcast is foryou.
Here's your host Terry L FossumL Fossum.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Hey, this is Terry L Fossum, and welcome back to the
Comeback Chronicles podcast.
There's an amazing story thatyou're about to hear today
that's going to blow you away,inspire you and give you some
actionable items to be able tomove forward with anything
that's holding you back.
Because I can pretty muchguarantee you this story I can't
(00:47):
say it's worse than yours.
I don't know your story, butman, is this an amazing story?
Let's get into it.
Sasha Gorokhov wasn't supposedto live.
He wasn't supposed to walk.
He wasn't supposed to thinkclearly, speak powerfully or
lead anyone, let alone inspirethousands.
Diagnosed at birth with one ofthe rarest and most severe
(01:11):
combinations of medicalconditions, he was expected to
be paralyzed, cognitivelyimpaired and gone by the age of
seven.
His survival defied logic.
His thriving defied logic.
His thriving defied science.
His very existence listen israrer than being struck by
(01:36):
lightning.
He didn't just beat the odds,he made them irrelevant.
Where statistics said die,sasha said watch me rise.
Where science whispered no,sasha roared.
Yes, he obliterated everylimitation with a fire that no
diagnosis, no upbringing and noenvironment could possibly
contain.
But Sasha's story goes fardeeper than physical survival.
(01:59):
He was raised in a pressurecooker of privilege and
psychological warfare.
A paradoxical world where lovecame with conditions and
presence was never promised.
His mother, shaped byborderline and narcissistic
patterns, ruled the emotionaltrain, with volatility,
gaslighting and ever-shiftingstorms.
(02:22):
Reality bent to her emotions.
Warmth could vanish withoutwarning.
One moment he was adored, thenext erased.
His father, a brilliant yetemotionally distant CFO, chose
work over fatherhood, resultsover relationship.
(02:42):
Sasha was never enough, valuedonly when silent, exceptional or
invisible.
There was no hope in the worldfor a boy like Sasha, except for
(03:02):
the hope that came from within.
Listen, sasha completed twobachelor's degrees with honors
and a marketing certificate inunder three years, a feat that
takes most people eight.
He earned an executive master'sin international negotiation
and policymaking from theGraduate Institute of Geneva,
which operates in directpartnership with the United
Nations, the World TradeOrganization and the World
(03:24):
Economic Forum.
Alumni of this includes headsof state, nobel laureates and
international power brokers.
He then received executiveeducation from IMD, ranked among
the top three business schoolsin the world.
He served in leadership rolesat the federal and local levels
in Switzerland at executiveboard appointments in Geneva's
(03:46):
most prestigious businessnetwork An amazing comeback
story.
Thank you so much for joiningme, sasha.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Thank you so much for having me, Terry.
It's really a pleasure to bewith you today.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
So so much to unwrap, so much.
You started off.
You're not even supposed tolive Now.
There was an innate will withinyou already that said no, no,
that's not the way it's going toend up, but that will kept
developing despite all theseodds.
(04:20):
And there's a lot of peoplelistening and of course, that's
what you and I both care aboutis the listeners right now, who
are going through a lot ofchallenges themselves.
You went through physicalchallenges.
You went through emotionalchallenges, psychological
challenge.
You went through mostchallenges that are available
today.
What do you think it was aboutyou that got you coming back
(04:41):
from them time after time aftertime again?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Well, as you say.
Thank you for summarizing allof this very, very well.
For me, the story began reallyat the moment of my birth, where
it was death or life.
Life, as you said, was thoughtto be impossible very, very
short.
Then were all the otherchallenges, but I very quickly
realized I'm not defined bysomeone else's memo.
(05:10):
I'm not defined by what otherpeople think or project.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
I've got to stop you because that's too beautiful.
I'm not defined by someoneelse's memo.
I love that you define yourself.
Nobody else does.
Is that what you're?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
saying.
That's exactly what I'm sayingI've always and that has
accompanied me throughout lifeand I'm 47 by the end of the
year is says who and says you,so it's not because it's
impossible, even statistically,that it cannot be done.
Now, if it can be done, which Ibelieve that it can, because it
(05:54):
starts with self-belief.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
If you don't believe it nobody else will.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
In fact, nobody else did believe what I saw yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
I just said okay my legs were moving.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Well, I thought very young, my legs were moving when
I was born.
They shouldn't have.
They said it was going to be areflex, it would stop.
It didn't stop, year after yearafter year.
So I said, okay, this isunlikely to happen in my, in my
notes, in my memo, right.
But then it's about knowingwhat it is you really want.
(06:25):
And I've always known that if Iwant to make it, I will have to
shoot higher than most, or atleast aim higher.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
So I remember very, very young.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
As you said, my father was a very driven CFO.
He had an MBA of a very, veryprestigious business school.
And very young I asked thequestion, I said, okay, what's
the number one business schoolout there or school out there,
university out there?
I said, if I can aim for thehighest, I will probably.
(07:01):
I will likely finish at thehighest.
I don't know how, but I will atleast be there where I want to
be.
And at the time they answeredHarvard.
And, as you said, many, manyyears later synchronicity
brought me to IMD, which thenhappened to be the number one
business school in the world.
But it's about knowing what itis you want, clearly defining it
(07:22):
, and then asking yourself sayswho and what do you say really?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute, sasha.
Wait a minute.
You're not supposed to eventhink clearly.
Remember I did the introductionwhere you weren't supposed to
even think clearly?
Where did you get off thinkingyou were going to go to one of
the, if not the most prestigiousschools in existence?
Where do you even come offthinking of that?
Speaker 3 (07:50):
So let me take you back in smaller steps.
I always had the belief itcould be done, so teachers
wanted well doctors written meoff.
So very early on I really madeit clear that unless I needed
them, I did not want them in mylife.
I like that, I like that a lot,because I don't want to hear
(08:13):
their memo.
And if I don't need them, thenwhy should I have somebody in my
life who's not contributingpositively to the choices I have
made and to my goals andmissions and vision?
Even at four years old Ithought this way, or five years
old.
I also remember that I was alsovery interested in the world
(08:35):
and always asked how do thingswork?
Why do things work, how dothings function?
And very early on I asked forthere were these picture book
series in Europe where theywould show you the components
and how they were put togetherand how it would work.
I was fascinated by these thingsand very early on I realized
well, all of these things weresaid to be impossible at some
(08:59):
point.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Well, yet they were done.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So that it is reasonable to believe that, even
as a child, it's reasonable tothink that, well, the best
business school at four or fiveor six years old wasn't the
issue, but it was the plan, itwas an idea.
If I'm the highest, what is it?
But then it's reasonable tobelieve that kindergarten can be
passed and every school gradethereafter can be passed, and
(09:25):
can be achieved.
But I faced obstacles, andmainly obstacles, of people who
did not believe or people whohad hidden agenda or very
narcissistic agendas, like mymother, who was all about
herself, so it's alsounderstanding about people's
agenda.
Very young I had a sense thatshe was not well at all.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
When I was born, she disappeared to bed for 10 years
of my life, which turned out tobe imaginary back problems.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
It came out later in life.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
But I realized okay, I only have myself really, and
if I don't decide, who else isgoing to decide?
So I remember when I wastraveling.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So let me ask you this, sasha.
So you've hit on many bigthings.
I really want to make sure thatthe audience is hearing.
First of all, if you've gotpeople in your life that don't
share your memo, then get themout of your life.
There's no reason in that.
But also you believed, okay,you're all alone.
You believed you were all alone, but you didn't take that as a
negative.
Oh, I'm all by myself.
(10:28):
Oh, how horrible, how terrible.
You said, okay, I got me, andif that's what I've got, then
that's what I've got.
Let's roll with this.
It sounds like that was yourthought process going into all
that.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Correct you know people throughout life in
younger years, not Correct youknow people throughout life in
younger years, not so muchanymore in adult life, but in
younger years.
Asked me wouldn't you like tonot have the condition?
And I said I don't know whatthat means.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
I mean, I can relate, I have empathy, but I cannot
not have the condition.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
So no, I am me and I am me with everything that I am
and I'll make the best out ofwho I am.
And you touched on somethingvery important.
When I was young and throughoutschooling I was very, very
bullied and excluded because Iwas born with.
One of the conditions is spinabifida, so I was born with an
(11:18):
open lower back.
So they closed it in skin withskin in 1978 and it's much later
that they found out they couldhave put in a metal plate Too
late for me because the nervescrewed to the skin they can't
open it again, oh wow.
But I was excluded from allsports because obviously
children they can't comprehend.
If they push me too violently Icould be in a wheelchair, I
(11:38):
could be dead.
In the beginning girls were myfriends and when girls became
interested into boys, I was nolonger a choice, because I was
different.
And yes, did I suffer.
But I also asked.
I remember being in my roomthinking to myself when I was
about five maybe, or maybe alittle younger, and said what is
(12:00):
it about me?
And then I realized it's notabout me per se, it's about the
projection of me and then,therefore, I'm not different and
that's when I started.
I wouldn't I don't want to sayreject, but I chose a different
label than disabled for me and Isaid I'm differently able, I'm
(12:23):
going to do things different andI'm going to find a way which
is a legit way, a legal way.
I've never cheated in school oranything else, but I'm going to
find a way that is my way, withmy set of conditions, with my
set of circumstances that willhelp me get there wherever there
(12:44):
was and the there's throughoutlife have changed, but wherever
there was, whereas maybe in thebeginning it was, there is
passing kindergarten and itevolved
Speaker 1 (12:54):
but, whatever there is, I said okay, I can't change
this.
Speaker 3 (12:58):
I can't change the tools I was born with.
I can't change that certaintools are different than from
others.
But I can also not cry on it,complain about them and say,
okay, this is me and let me justdo the best out of it.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
And there's a story when I was very young that was
told and I want, I want to hearthat real quick, I want to make
sure that the audience caughtthis too, though the differently
abled, and a lot of times youknow, happily, we're hearing
that it's not disabled, it'sdifferently abled.
Okay, we are all differentlyabled, we all are.
So if you're going, man, Idon't have this skill, I don't
(13:33):
have this talent, I'm dumb inthis direction, whatever you're
feeling, you've got othertalents.
So stop worrying about the onesyou don't have and focus on the
ones you do and make use ofthem Right.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Stop worrying about the ones you don't have and
focus on the ones you do andmake use of them.
Right, it's exactly.
And much later in life, inadulthood as of my early 20s.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
That's what I would tell people.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
I do not subscribe to the notion of disabled, because
nobody is ever disabled.
We're all differently abled.
We're all differently abled andwe have a choice which was
another biggie in my life achoice to either give up,
complain, cry over whatever hashappened or whatever we are,
(14:15):
that we are not like others, orsay this is what it is.
Is it going to change?
If it can change and change it,if it doesn't change like in my
case, it won't change Then makethe best out of it.
Make the best out of it andthen develop the self-awareness.
So the story I was going to tellyou very young I don't remember
this I had my milk bottle onthe table and I must have been
(14:38):
already very aware of what Ishould and should not do, of
what I should and should not do,and I crawled to the table and
I pulled the cloth down and Icaught the bottle and I crawled
away Because I apparently wasvery self-aware that if I
climbed the table, that was avery bad idea if I could fall.
(15:01):
But then the other point ischoice and self-awareness, and
that's really what has guided methroughout life is choice.
You have a choice and to definewho you are, you have a choice
to not listen to the memos thatare not aligned with that.
Now I would recommend you askyourself whether these people
(15:21):
have a point, because if theyhave, a point you may learn
something from it.
But if they don't have a point,and it's just another layer that
is becoming a real disability,if you listen, then I would
recommend you really don't andyou follow your own belief.
I always knew deep down insidethat I would make it whatever
(15:43):
make it was at the time,throughout different periods of
my life.
Obviously, that changed, as itall changes for us, and it's
every day reminding yourself youdo have a choice.
So when I understood, as I wassaying before, that it isn't
actually about me, it's aboutthe projection of others, and
that's why I always tell peopleI'm as to use the term that I
don't like to use, but it fitsin society.
(16:04):
I'm as disabled as I am throughyour eyes, because I don't feel
I am there are certainlimitations.
There are certain things that Ican't ignore, that are different
from so-called medicallyhealthy people, but I don't feel
I'm disabled.
I feel like, okay, then we'llfind a way or we'll make a way,
(16:25):
and that's what I've always doneand, in fact, that's what I
always say.
There's a fine line betweenvictim and victory.
A couple of letters you choose.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Ooh, ooh, I love that .
I absolutely love that.
Say it again.
I want to make sure everybodyheard that.
Go for it again, please.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
There are a couple of letters between victim and
victory and you choose.
While they said I was going tobe a victim, I said no, I'm
victorious.
Do I know how?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, but I am, and somehow a way will appear and
somehow that's the way it willappear and that's so critical.
Please, everybody listening on,I want to make sure you're
really listening to this andagain, maybe you've heard that
in your different motivationalstuff you listen to.
Listen.
This is Sasha that you'relistening to here.
He wasn't supposed to live, hewasn't supposed to walk, he
(17:12):
wasn't supposed to think okay,he could have been a victim.
We've seen these people who arevictims with so much more going
for them than he theoreticallydid.
He chose the correct couple ofletters to change it to
victorious, and you can too andindeed, if you look
statistically, I'm the 0.00001percent.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Yet that's how essentially I made it.
And you know, even today I'mhappily married to a wonderful
woman and she often looks at meand she says how?
Because she's physically fullyabled and fully medically
healthy, so to speak.
And we've been together for 12years and she still asks me
something, but how?
And I simply answer because Ihave decided, I have made the
(17:58):
choice, I have decided and thenI do it, or I'll find the way,
or the way will come to me.
But I have decided.
And when she said but I said itis so, I have made up my mind
that it is so.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
And so it will be.
I literally got goosebumps withthat one, my friend, because I
have decided I want everybodywrite that down, write that
because I have decided now.
But sasha, does that really doit?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
it does, doesn't it it does, and you know I've also
been asked multiple times, butyou could have reacted different
said yeah, but what?
Good, would that do what goodwould that do if I would be
crying over my whatever problems, conditions or whatnot?
Yes, we all fall.
The problem isn't falling.
We all do, whether we'remedically considered healthy or
(18:52):
not or anything in between, orwhatever.
Whoever we are, everything isfine and we all fall it's okay
to rest.
It's okay to sit down, but whatwill define you is if you get
back up right, right, and I havefallen in my life and sometimes
in my life and I have said,look, I am taking a break yeah,
(19:12):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I'm not saying I'm giving up, I'm just saying I'm
taking a break from all of this.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
I'm just you're gonna , you're going to find me up.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
I'm just saying I'm taking a break from all of this
You're going to find me outthere on my lounge chair.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
I'm taking a break from all of this and that's okay
, right, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
but never have.
I said you know what I give up.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Never have I said this.
As I said, get back up.
I always said to my conditionor the universe whoever you want
to believe in and others, youcan push me down, I'll get back
up.
It's a confidence of knowingand that confidence is really
something you have to buildinside and how does, how does
(19:48):
somebody do that?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
there's a lot of people who have been beaten down
.
You know bad conditions, badupbringing, bad whatever.
How do you build that up insideof you?
How do you build that up insideof you?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
There's again.
It all starts with a choice, orwhat is the alternative choice?
You can start with thealternative choice, and if you
don't like the alternativechoice, well then you have to
kind of make the opposite choice, because I think there's really
only two choices yes or no.
Hot and cold.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
And once you've made that decision, we live in the
duality universe really.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
So if you don't like the outcome of your decision,
change it.
There you go.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
It is really as simple as that.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
And then it's about reminding yourself to your
commitments.
Change it, there you go.
It is really as simple as that.
And then it's about remindingyourself to your commitments and
it's about self-committing,Because nobody else.
You cannot expect that anybodyelse.
It's nice if it comes, but youcan't expect it that anybody
else comes.
And is your encouragement Right.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Because it's nice if you have that.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
It's wonderful, Cherish that if you have that.
It's wonderful Cherish that ifyou have that.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
But you have to become your own cheerleader and
know why you want something andif the other people in your life
aren't sharing that memo, getthem out of your life.
You don't have to subscribe totheir memo.
Just like you said, you writeyour own memo and find the
people that subscribe to it, andyou know this is what I said.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I come come back to what I said in the beginning.
At birth, it was life or death.
Number two was a terriblechoice.
According to me, number onewasn't, was a court was
apparently impossible to do.
Yet I did it, and that's why Ialways tell people everything is
possible If you know how, andthroughout life I've learned how
, now Learned how.
Now can I tell you that ifyou're in a wheelchair and
(21:35):
paralyzed, you will magicallyget up and walk.
No, my bladder has beenparalyzed since birth.
I used catheters to go to thebathroom.
It still is the case, but itdoes not need to define you and
you can still thrive if you havedecided so.
I've seen so many people whohave given up because they have
not decided another way.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
They kind of did decide.
They decided to give up, right?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Well, they blame outside circumstances, and they
let themselves be defined byoutside circumstances Instead of
saying I'm going to make my ownchoice and in some way it makes
sense, Because if you look backat life, when you're a toddler
or a young child.
Your parents make decisions foryou.
Sometimes they're well-meaningparents, sometimes they're
(22:18):
terrible parents, but they makedecisions for you for very good
reasons.
But as we grow up, we keep inthat loop of letting somebody
else decide.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
Right, giving them the power.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Exactly when are you going to take back your own
power to choose?
And that's what I've alwaysasked people, and from a very
young age, I've decided to takemy power to choose and if I like
my choice, I went with it.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
If I didn't, then I changed it.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
And I said, you're always free to change your
choice along the way, and it'show you approach challenges.
Either you can approachchallenges as saying this is the
most awful thing in theuniverse or saying, hmm,
interesting, okay, great, I seeyou, I'm still going to make it,
(23:08):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So is it really that simple, sasha?
Is it really that simple?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
It kind of really, is it?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
kind of really is it kind of really is.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Look, of course there is much more and there are
multiple frameworks that I'mconsulting people on, that I'm
speaking about, that I'mconsulting companies on, because
you can go into much moredetail.
But for the audience in general, it's about mindset, it's about
choice and it's about knowingyour values and knowing where
(23:39):
you want to go.
So many people in audiencesaround the world I have seen who
have to begin with no ideawhere they want to go Right.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
And then I tell people look, I'd love to help
you, but if you don't know whereyou want to go and how it looks
like I can't help you.
Right.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
It's like if you don't know where to you want to
go and how, it looks like Ican't help you, right?
It's like if you say I want acar, well, okay, great, I bought
you a formula one car and thenyou complained and I said, well,
that's impractical, I don'tknow how to drive it and I don't
know how to drive around themiles an hour anyways, and you
can't drive this thing.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It's not road legal.
We said you wanted a car.
What do you complain?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
about and I said you have to know what you want, and
I always had clear goals.
What did it?
Speaker 2 (24:18):
look like so, would you say that would be somebody's
first step, no matter whatposition they're in right now.
Good, bad, whatever.
Figure out what you want anddefine it specifically.
Would you say it is a prettygood first step?
Speaker 3 (24:33):
Yes, so you will hear in a different episode.
When my wife Gemma, and whenshe came into my life after
going through what she wentthrough, which I will let you
discover in her episode, thefirst thing I literally did like
I've done with many people is Ihave her sit down and say okay,
this has happened.
(24:53):
Well, what do you want now?
And she wanted to get up and gointo her old habits and said no
, no, no, we're going to besitting right here and we're
going to decide.
You are going to decide, I'mgoing to guide you.
What is it you want now?
And she came up with anotheranswer eventually and said well,
(25:16):
I can help you with that.
And that was long before wewere even in love.
So the story really starts withif you don't know where you're
going, how do you know you'regoing to get there?
And how do you know that you'rethere once you have arrived?
If you don't know where it is,you've arrived because you don't
know what you want to beginwith.
It's like a GPS put into thenavigation and say bring me
(25:36):
somewhere.
It will bring you somewhere Ifyou don't know where you want to
go, you will not get there, andthat's what I tell people often
Go out call Amazon, tell themdeliver me something.
But if they deliver yousomething you don't like, then
don't complain and most likelythey will not deliver you
anything because they willprioritize everybody else who
(25:57):
knows what they want oh, there'sa lot in that.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
There's a lot, and not to mention if you're focused
on where you're at and how badthings are and all that.
You're not focused on where youwant to go, so you're going to
stay right where you're focusedon, and first, it's going to
magnetize, it's going to getworse, because what you focus on
expands, and that is reallytrue.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
And that's why I say the first choice is know, what
you want Know where you want togo, even if it means, even if
you're in a terrible situationand it is just going through the
day.
Great, Go through the day, gothrough the week, go through the
months.
And then celebrate yourvictories.
What is maybe nothing forsomeone is maybe everything to
(26:40):
you.
Don't let anybody belittle your.
Everything Right on, because itis not little, it is just
little to them.
To you it is everything.
So do not let somebody elsebelittle your everything.
Maybe, taking one step is thehardest thing for you in the
world.
If you've done that,congratulations.
(27:00):
Applaud yourself you havesucceeded.
Write down your successes Everyday.
Write down or take a mentalnote of your successes, because
you will rewire your brainpositively.
Brain science has shown this inthe meantime in all of these
past decades.
It's a big deal.
In three weeks to three months,you have rewired your brain, so
keep track of your successes,celebrate yourself, but if you
(27:22):
don't know where you're going,you don't know when you have
arrived and you don't know whatit looks like.
So be clear, Then take steps,whatever it be.
For somebody it might not befirst step.
For somebody it might be abillion dollars.
Great.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
That's also fantastic no-transcript, but celebrate
(28:11):
whatever those things are like.
It helps rewire.
So you've decided where youwant to go, you've decided I'm
doing it and you're celebratingsuccesses along the way.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
You are and you're recommitting to your choices
every single day, if need be,multiple times a day.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Outstanding.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Especially people who may have ADD or ADHD.
For them, it is more difficultto commit to a choice over a day
or many days.
A choice over a day or manydays?
Well then, write them down on apost-it note and put it on your
mirror, put it where you see itevery day, and recommit, with
full intention, to it again andagain, and again, and again and
(28:50):
again until your goal hasreached, and if, in the meantime
, you grow out of your goal, itis also fully okay to change
your goal.
You don't have to accomplishsomething because you once said
I mean my example, I once saidat five years old that I wanted
to do something.
And when I and at 17, 18 or 20,.
(29:12):
I find this to be unnecessary orvery stupid because it was from
the perspective offive-year-old.
It's okay to change your goal.
You're not obliged to commitsomething that you no longer
want to commit to.
Nor are you obliged to committo something just for the sake
of it.
You are free to change yourgoals, but I would recommend
don't change them because itbecame difficult, it became
tough or you encounteredfriction.
(29:33):
We all do Change them if youreally no longer are aligned
with them or if you no longeridentify with them.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
So, sascha, I know we're getting close to the end
of our time here.
What happens, though?
You're going towards your goalsand, of course, again, you've
had a lot of setbacks and youpushed through everything.
What happens if, okay, thingsdidn't go well, you know I
failed, I failed.
What's your mentality when thathappens?
Because I know it has it has,and I've learned something.
(30:03):
There's no such thing asfailure-only lessons.
Speaker 3 (30:08):
You do not want to wire your brain on failure.
I said earlier write down yoursuccesses.
The other thing is write downyour lessons.
So when I coach people and theycome back, instance, and say,
well, that it's not going theway it was supposed to go or I
failed, I said let's reframethis, it's a lesson.
Now let's go back, take acouple, take our steps back in
(30:31):
time and see where did it gowrong, so that next time we have
learnings from that and nexttime we are not repeating this.
So nothing is a failure,everything is a learning.
And I would really recommend andthat has served me well to not
be stuck on failure but onlessons, because you can learn
(30:52):
if it went well well greatrepeat If you want to repeat, if
it didn't look, what you canlearn to make it go well the
next time and succeed the nexttime, because then you come away
with learnings and you becomebetter and better, and better
and better.
And throughout my life andthat's what I'm consulting as
well on I came up, I came with alot of learnings to save people
(31:14):
a whole bunch of time.
No, matter what it is you'regoing through, whether it is
personal, your business orwhatever you're in, to save you
a whole bunch of time Because,as you said, I came back from so
much, I faced so much, yet Isucceeded every time.
Sometimes, it took longer thanother times.
Sometimes I had to take adetour because there was a wall
in front of me.
(31:34):
I said I don't feel likerunning against the wall, so
I'll have to find a way aroundit.
It will take a little bitlonger, but that's what I bring,
and please find things to begrateful for, because it will
actually help you to focus onthe positive things.
And that's what I always alsotell people when they come with
(31:57):
I failed or I have a problem, Isaid okay, I hear you, I really
hear you.
I do with all my heart, withall my soul.
How can we turn this into agood thing?
What good, possibly, whatpossible good can come out of
this I love that In my case, oneof the possible good that came
(32:19):
out of this is 47 years of lifeSoon.
A ton of learnings, a ton offrameworks that can save you and
everybody in the audiencesaround the world a ton of time.
Yet, as I always say, if youdon't apply what somebody
teaches you, it will never workAbsolutely.
(32:40):
Not because somebody else did it, or somebody else tells you the
exact game plan and how to doit.
That will just fall from thesky.
You have to practice it foryourself and you have to
recommit and recommit, andrecommit until it's automatic
for you.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
And understanding the hardships that we're all going
through become the inspirationalstories for others.
So all these to me, thehardships I've gone through, I
thank God for those, becausethose are the stories that help
inspire other people who aregoing through similar situations
, and that's where your story, Iknow, is inspiring a lot of
people as well.
(33:14):
We're running out of time.
What thought would you like toleave the?
Speaker 3 (33:20):
audience with Sasha.
That's a very good question,Something that we have not
covered yet is really you willnever achieve anything alone,
but alone is not.
The same thing as lonely.
Achieve anything alone, butalone is not the same thing as
(33:43):
lonely and you are never alone.
You might be currentlysurrounded by the wrong people.
You can make a choice to changethat.
You can make a choice if you'rea young person listening to
this and you can't change thefirst people around you right
now because they may be yourparents or whatnot.
To make a choice if you're ayoung person listening to this
and you can't change the firstpeople around you right now
(34:04):
because they may be your parentsor whatnot to make a choice to
not be like them.
I always made a choice, since avery young age, although my
mother treated me horribly and Ilet you look up in the audience
what it means to live withsomebody who has narcissistic
personality disorder andborderline personality disorder,
plus probably many moredisorders.
(34:27):
But I always said I will be asource of love, no matter how
the world treats me because thatis also a choice.
So that is really my message tothe audience You're never alone,
and lonely is a temporarystatus that you can change.
(34:48):
And again, that is your choiceto change it.
It is your choice how you think, how you believe, what you say,
how you think, and it is achoice to come back and recommit
to it all of the time.
And, as I said earlier, that'swhat I really want to say and
repeat.
There is a fine line betweenvictim and victory.
(35:09):
A couple of letters and youchoose.
Nobody else will make thechoice for you.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
You do.
I love that.
Where can people find out moreabout you I know you do,
speaking electronically.
You're not traveling to placesyou speak electronically.
Fantastic talks there.
Where can people find out moreabout you and your talks and
everything else?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
So you can go.
The easiest way is to go on mywebsite.
It's wwwsashaleadershipcom,that's S-A-S-C-H-A,
leadershipcom, or then with myfull name, wwwsashagorokoffcom,
but that may be more complicated.
So just go with the SashaLeadership S-A-S-C-H-A, and from
(35:50):
there you can reroute throughthe entire site.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Wonderful.
So for all the listeners again,surround yourself.
Set your own memo, set yourdecisions.
Surround yourself with peoplewho support your memo and if
they don't find different peoplewho do, make the decision.
You have the power.
Don't give it to somebody else.
You have the power.
Decide and then move forwardand celebrate all those small
(36:17):
things, whether anybody'scelebrating with you or if
you're just proud.
Celebrate those things.
Make whether anybody'scelebrating with you or if
you're just proud, celebratethose things.
Make the decisions every singleday.
Figure out where you're going,decide where you want to go.
Keep deciding every single day.
You've got the power within you.
Do all of these things andlisten.
You can have your own ComebackChronicle.
(36:38):
Sasha, thanks so much forjoining us and sharing your
story and your wisdom with ustoday.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Thank you for having me, terry.
It's really been a joy and apleasure, and you're a great
inspiration to me too.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
I appreciate that.
All right, you take care, Goget them buddy.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
So that's it for today's episode of the Comeback
Chronicles.
Head on over to Apple Podcastsor wherever you listen, and
subscribe to the show.
If you're ready to get overyour fears, self-doubts and past
failures and break through yourcomfort zone to reach the
pinnacle of success in everyarea of your life, head over to
terrielfawesomecom to pick upyour free gifts and so much more
(37:20):
.
We'll see you next week on theComeback Chronicles podcast.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.