September 1, 2024 • 25 mins
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Ever wondered how to make a lasting impression without being the loudest voice in the room? Tune in to this episode of the Confident, Connected Leader Podcast with me, Lisa Jeffs, as I unpack the secrets to mastering charisma through the perfect blend of warmth and competence. Learn actionable strategies to fine-tune your communication style. Plus, get introduced to "The Power Play," our new program designed to help business leaders and entrepreneurs enhance their charisma and people skills, making them the standout leaders in their industries. This episode emphasizes the growing importance of people skills in today’s AI-driven workplace and provides insights into elevating your professional presence by balancing warmth with competence.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader
Podcast, your premierdestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Welcome to the show.
Welcome to the show.
This is a continuation of thelast episode we did on how to be
your most charismatic self, howto add in more warmth if you
tend to be someone who shows alot of competence and confidence
.
So, as a reminder, how webecome, how we showcase our most
(00:54):
charismatic self is with theperfect mix of warmth and
competence.
I am just getting over a coldright now, so my voice may be a
little graspy.
Just an FYI I'm also sittingoutside.
It's a beautiful day and youmay hear the buzzing of I think
(01:17):
that is a I'm not even sure whatthat is, but there's a lot of
buzzing going on out here.
Anyways, back to the content.
So we want to be our mostcharismatic self.
This episode is for people whotend to showcase a lot of warmth
.
They're more on the warm side,less on the competence.
They're showing less competence.
(01:38):
So this may look like you'rethe type of person who, if
you're sending a text message oryou're sending an email, you
put tons and tons of emojis init.
By the way, I love emojis.
Nothing wrong with that.
But there is a science when itcomes to showcasing more
competence.
This can look like youshowering on words of
(02:00):
affirmation, or saying thingslike words of affirmation, or
saying things like hello,beautiful soul, my most amazing
person in the whole wide world,like things like that, which are
great.
But we need to mix it with thecompetence, because if we're
only showing warmth, right,warmth can also look like, let's
(02:23):
say, you're a person in anoffice and you're always the one
who says yes, who's willing togo the extra mile to do things
for other people.
Again, nothing wrong with anyof this.
This is actually great.
But if we don't combine it withcompetence, signs of confidence,
people will tend to overlookyou.
(02:43):
You may not get chosen forcertain opportunities.
If you're in business, ifyou're in sales, a lot of times
people are going to question hey, I really like this person.
This person is a great kind, Ilove being around them, but I
(03:04):
don't know if they can actuallydo the job.
I don't know if I can trustthem.
Is any of this based in reality?
No, you can be a very warmperson and, of course, be
competent and be able to do thejob Fantastic.
But this isn't about can you doit.
(03:26):
This is about how you'reperceived.
People make snap judgmentswithin the first few seconds of
meeting you, people make certainjudgments right off the bat and
if you come on with so muchwarmth but lack showing signs of
(03:46):
competence, people are going toquestion if you're the person
for the job.
And we don't want that because,from my experience, people who
are warm, who lean more on thewarm side, are extremely
competent.
But we want to make sure it's agood combination of both.
Just as a reminder, if we leantoo much on the competent side,
(04:10):
this is when people will excuseme as I cough.
People will trust that you areable to do the job and you're
probably one of the best peopleto do the job, but you don't
come across as approachable.
And when you don't come acrossas approachable, that can create
its whole heap of otherproblems.
(04:32):
So if you want to listen to thatepisode, if you feel like, yeah
, you know what I don't reallyhave a problem with showcase
incompetence, actually need toshowcase more warmth.
That is in the last episodethat aired.
So how do we show morecompetence, more confidence, if
you tend to lean more on thewarm side?
(04:52):
Well, going back to the firstexample I gave, if you're
someone who sends text messagesor emails, so let's say you're
sending an email after you knowsomeone had a sales call with
you or you applied for anopportunity or whatnot.
When you are sending back areply message, are a few emojis
(05:17):
okay?
Yes, a few emojis are okay.
That's going to showcase alittle bit of warmth.
Are you going to plaster emojisall over your email with a
thousand exclamation marks?
Not, if you want to appearcharismatic, which again is a
combination of warmth andcompetence.
(05:39):
You really got to watch thatand it's funny because when I
first learned this even though Itend to lean more on the
competence side and I got tobring in more warmth when I'm
speaking directly with a personmy emails were a lot of emojis
(06:01):
and exclamation points.
I had to tone it down a littlebit.
Again, this is just snapjudgments.
This doesn't mean anythingabout you as a person or as your
personality.
These are just evidence-basedpractices that people use to
make snap judgments.
So if you want to put yourselfahead of the game and showcase
(06:24):
yourself in a way where youbecome irresistible to people,
people want you to hire you fortheir opportunities.
They want to hire you forbusiness.
They want to be around you.
You want to set the bar reallyhigh.
You want to be the personpeople think about right away,
then we we gotta work onshowcasing us as being very
(06:48):
charismatic, bringing some ofthat confidence with your warmth
.
So another way to do this isjust simply getting really,
really good at your craft.
So when you can master yourcraft, whatever that is,
whatever you are doing, if youare a coach, mastering your zone
(07:12):
of genius, if you're in realestate, just becoming literally
the best real estate agent onthe block, so to speak on the
block, so to speak, masteringyour craft and being able to
showcase that to people highly,highly increases your competence
.
If you can demonstrate what youdo and talk about it in a way
(07:35):
that's clear and concise, huge,huge competence marker.
This is one of the reasons why,when I do sales calls or
whatnot, I have such a highenrollment rate because people
feel the competence in me,because I'm able to clearly and
(07:58):
concisely showcase that I knowhow to help a person get from A
to Z.
So mastering your craft,getting really, really good at
it, so spending time on it,spending money on it, investing
in it, believing in yourself,working on it daily, weekly, and
(08:19):
if you have challenges withverbalizing what you do,
practice, that's it.
Practice, record yourself,literally get a microphone and
record yourself talking aboutwhat you do.
Go back over the recording andsee where you are putting filler
words.
Remove the filler words whereyou are losing track.
(08:42):
Going back, and how can youmake this as clear and concise
as possible?
That's going to immediatelybring the energy that you are
very competent and people aregoing to trust you.
It shows a huge level of trust.
That's a great way to also justpractice your communication
skills is going over, recordingyourself and seeing where are
(09:06):
you putting so many filler words.
I did this years ago and I wasin shock.
I was shocked and a littlehorrified at the amount of
filler words I was using.
But just having that awareness,if you use something called
Descript, that can be reallypowerful.
I think you can even sign upfor free, although the paid
(09:27):
version, I think, is able tomark all the filler words, but
you'll see which ones you use.
I use.
You know a lot.
That's like probably the last.
I just said like, but I don'tsay like often I say you know,
so when I'm recording somethingand I'll go back, I'll see.
Oh okay, I said this over andover and over again.
(09:49):
Your filler words will alsodecrease your competence.
Again doesn't mean you're notcompetent, but we got to watch
how we are talking.
This is one of the mostpowerful ways to increase your
competence is to look at howyou're communicating on a daily
basis, removing the filler words, using your confident.
(10:12):
Almost it's like you'respeaking from your diaphragm.
I believe this is what it'scalled.
We don't want to be talkingfrom our throat.
So if you go back and let's sayyou watched my videos from
years and years ago likeprobably eight, seven, eight
(10:32):
years ago my voice is verydifferent.
One of the reasons was becauseI just wasn't in my element yet.
I hadn't found my zone.
So I would talk more in mythroat.
It would be a little bitlighter, it would be a little
bit more, not necessarily soft,but you could tell that there
(10:52):
wasn't as much depth to my voice.
Power is important.
You want more power behind yourwords.
Increase the volume.
So if you're speaking reallyquietly and really soft like
this, people are going toimmediately have a preconceived
(11:18):
notion about you.
And again, there's nothingwrong with that, right, there's
nothing wrong with appearingwarm.
But if you want to appear morecompetent, make sure your voice
is representing that.
So another way to show moreconfidence is through your body
language.
(11:38):
This is huge.
Make sure that you are sittingup tall.
Make sure you are standing tall.
Your posture is as straight asit can be right.
I remember a video call I didand I remember being I wasn't
(11:59):
feeling confident, competent.
This was a video call for me.
I was learning a new skill.
This person, I had hired thisperson to teach me something.
So I wasn't feeling competentin this area and when I went
back to look at the video, I wasshocked to see how my posture
was.
I was all almost crumpled upand this was a sign of how I was
(12:22):
feeling inside, a little bitinsecure.
So, standing up on Zoom orwhatnot, okay, make eye contact.
Again, when people aren'tfeeling confident, they're going
to avoid eye contact.
(12:44):
They're not going to make eyecontact as much.
I remember a person who did alot of Facebook Lives or
Facebook trainings or whatnot,and she was very competent,
extremely competent, but shewasn't able to showcase that
well on video and one of thethings was she would never make
(13:08):
eye contact.
She was always kind of lookingaround or her eyes were shifting
around.
Now this can be because ofanxieties, nervousness.
Being on video like this is allreal.
I've been there.
It's not a huge deal.
We don't want to stop ourselvesfrom doing videos if we're
(13:28):
feeling nervous or insecure.
We want to do it because that'sone of the ways to get more
competent.
But having the awareness thatif you're feeling anxious, if
you're feeling nervous doing it,and you have certain things
that you do to self-soothepracticing, practicing making
(13:49):
eye contact, practicing holdingyour gaze, looking into the
camera, even if it's just for afew seconds, if you're fidgety,
practice hold something in yourhand so you're not fidgeting
around right Again, nothingwrong with any of these things,
but we want to make sure we'remaking the best first impression
(14:10):
.
I'm going to end it with onelast thing.
Now.
This can be challenging,especially for purpose-driven
entrepreneurs, business owners,leaders, people with a mission
heart-centered, intuitive,perhaps even introverted is
(14:34):
showcasing how freaking amazingyou are.
This was one for me.
I got to get better at doingFor my clients.
All my clients are fuckingamazing, Absolutely amazing,
absolutely incredible People.
I work with people.
I have calls, calls with peoplethat are in this community.
(14:55):
If you're listening to this, Iwould bet 99.99% you're freaking
amazing at what you do.
You're incredible.
However, we can have troubleverbalizing that this is a
problem, a big problem thathappens in the corporate world,
where often the person who'sgetting noticed, the person
(15:18):
whose ideas are getting noticed,the person who are getting the
opportunities, aren'tnecessarily the most competent.
They are the people that arethe loudest, they are the people
that are showcasing that theyare great.
Nobody is going to know howgood we are unless one they work
(15:38):
with us or two we're able toshowcase it.
And if we're not able toshowcase it, then chances are
people aren't going to work withus.
(15:58):
And you also know, internallyyou are just incredible.
You know you have the abilitiesto change people's lives, to do
your work in the world in a bigway, but you're not getting the
opportunities, you're notgetting noticed, you're not
(16:24):
becoming, you know, the obviouschoice for people.
Chances are you're notshowcasing enough of how good
you are practicing.
Talking about what you do in away that is clear, concise and
powerful, about the results thatyou get for people, that you
get for businesses, etc.
(16:44):
Is going to really change thegame for you, especially if you
lean more to the warm side,practicing, doing it in a way
that feels authentic to you soyou don't have to be the loudest
one in the room.
It could be, let's say, ifyou're an online entrepreneur,
(17:05):
simply sharing more testimonials, allowing other people to do
the talking for you, having yourclients do video testimonials
sharing how amazing you are.
So you don't have to verballyshare how amazing you are, even
though it's impactful that youdo.
And this is so, so neededbecause there's a lot of people
(17:29):
that, let's say, aren'toperating in integrity, that
aren't you know.
I'm thinking of one person whowould sing to the rooftops about
how incredible and amazing hisservices were and how he's just
the best of the best.
And I remember this persontotally just took a lot of
(17:54):
people's money who hadpre-booked, pre-boughten his
course, and then he neverdelivered, he never showed up,
he never actually gave anyonethe course.
He totally just kind ofvanished.
So and this is not the only,I'm thinking more so in the
(18:15):
world of coaching and onlineentrepreneurship.
I'm sure other industries are alittle bit different, but a lot
of times, people who are justunabashful about their
amazingness sometimes don'tdeliver or they act out of
integrity.
So the fact that you are someoneof high integrity, you know
(18:39):
what you're doing, you're goodat what you're doing, you act in
the good of the people.
It's a shame and I'm includingmyself in this too as well that
we are not more vocal about howincredible we are and how much
we can help people, because itreally is going to make you,
(19:01):
coupled with that warmth, becomeso charismatic that you just
become irresistible, becausepeople want to be around that.
People want to be around people.
People want to be around peoplewho make them feel good and
also people who they trust tohelp them, to support them, and
(19:21):
that's all it is.
That's all it is.
It's bringing in warmth, caring, genuine love and affection and
showcasing that you are greatat what you do and you can do it
and you're trustworthy and youact in integrity, and when you
can combine those two, it'sgolden.
(19:42):
Okay, I hope this was helpful.
Shoot me a questions if you gotquestions.
I love talking about thisbecause I know how impactful it
is when you can really showcasethis.
It opens so, so many doors.
This is what I used to do when Iwent to interviews.
I would and I didn't evenrealize what I was doing back
then, but this is what I woulddo.
(20:04):
I would combine the warmth withthe confidence and the
competence, and these are thetimes where I would ask you know
how long until you make adecision or whatnot, or whatever
I asked I can't remember, andpeople would tell me oh, it's
gonna be a couple of weeks,we'll reach out, blah, blah,
blah.
And on multiple occasions Iwould leave the job and I would
(20:28):
know that I did really, reallywell.
I could feel it in my bones andI would get a call before I
even reached home of themoffering me the position because
of how I presented myself inthe interview.
So this stuff is powerful.
Okay, one thing I'm going to add.
(20:50):
If you haven't seen it yet, ifyou haven't seen me talking
about the Power Play, this is aprogram that you are going to
want, especially if you're stilllistening to this episode
you're going to want to takenotice of, and if you're
interested in being one of thefirst in the Power Play in the
(21:14):
beta round, please do nothesitate to reach out and let's
have a conversation.
The power play is for businessleaders, professionals,
entrepreneurs who are ready totake their work, to take their
brand, to take what they'redoing in the world to the next
level, to start showing up in amore powerful, charismatic way,
(21:39):
so they become the obviouschoice in their industry.
We are doing the work aroundhelping you become that
charismatic leader.
These are evidence-basedpractices that you're going to
be learning and putting intopractice on a weekly basis, and
(22:00):
we're also going to be doing thedeeper, very necessary work to
help you internally become thatcharismatic leader.
So this is the deeper healingwork that I do with my private
clients that makes literallylife-changing results happen,
(22:22):
combined with the skills of howto show up externally, and you
are literally going to be thepower piece in your industry.
I can't wait for this program.
It's going to be absolutelylife-changing, business-changing
, especially as we move into2025, where people's skills are
(22:49):
going to be even more important.
I posted a statistic the otherday on my LinkedIn.
I believe it's 85% of successcomes from people skills, all of
what people skills entail, andonly 15 comes from the actual
technical skills.
As we move forward, as AI istaking over a lot of different
(23:16):
things in our life, peopleskills are even more like 10,000
times more important to learnhow to connect with people, how
to appear more charismatic.
So people want to be around you, they want to hire you, they
want to be in your presence,they want to work with you, they
want you in leadership roles.
(23:38):
This is not something that youcan sit back on and hope goes
away.
It's not, and we can become ourmost charismatic, best selves,
even though we're whole.
We're already whole, but we canshowcase it in the world in a
(23:59):
really fun and exciting way, andthat is what the power play is
going to be.
So if you're interested inbecoming a member of the beta
round, please send me an emailat info at lisajeffscom, or you
can shoot me a message on myInstagram, lisa underscore jeffs
, or on my LinkedIn, which I'mbecoming very active on.
(24:19):
So, if you're on LinkedIn,please add me as a connection.
I would love to connect onthere.
I'm pretty much on thereMondays through Fridays.
I'm going to wrap it up asalways.
I appreciate you, I honor you,I love you.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
And let's stay connected.
We'd be honored if you couldsubscribe, rate and leave a
review To stay updated withpractical tips and insights.
Follow us on LinkedIn,instagram or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
(25:11):
connected.
You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader
Podcast, your premierdestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Welcome to the show.
Welcome to the show.
This is a continuation of thelast episode we did on how to be
your most charismatic self, howto add in more warmth if you
tend to be someone who shows alot of competence and confidence
.
So, as a reminder, how webecome, how we showcase our most
(00:54):
charismatic self is with theperfect mix of warmth and
competence.
I am just getting over a coldright now, so my voice may be a
little graspy.
Just an FYI I'm also sittingoutside.
It's a beautiful day and youmay hear the buzzing of I think
(01:17):
that is a I'm not even sure whatthat is, but there's a lot of
buzzing going on out here.
Anyways, back to the content.
So we want to be our mostcharismatic self.
This episode is for people whotend to showcase a lot of warmth
.
They're more on the warm side,less on the competence.
They're showing less competence.
(01:38):
So this may look like you'rethe type of person who, if
you're sending a text message oryou're sending an email, you
put tons and tons of emojis init.
By the way, I love emojis.
Nothing wrong with that.
But there is a science when itcomes to showcasing more
competence.
This can look like youshowering on words of
(02:00):
affirmation, or saying thingslike words of affirmation, or
saying things like hello,beautiful soul, my most amazing
person in the whole wide world,like things like that, which are
great.
But we need to mix it with thecompetence, because if we're
only showing warmth, right,warmth can also look like, let's
(02:23):
say, you're a person in anoffice and you're always the one
who says yes, who's willing togo the extra mile to do things
for other people.
Again, nothing wrong with anyof this.
This is actually great.
But if we don't combine it withcompetence, signs of confidence,
people will tend to overlookyou.
(02:43):
You may not get chosen forcertain opportunities.
If you're in business, ifyou're in sales, a lot of times
people are going to question hey, I really like this person.
This person is a great kind, Ilove being around them, but I
(03:04):
don't know if they can actuallydo the job.
I don't know if I can trustthem.
Is any of this based in reality?
No, you can be a very warmperson and, of course, be
competent and be able to do thejob Fantastic.
But this isn't about can you doit.
(03:26):
This is about how you'reperceived.
People make snap judgmentswithin the first few seconds of
meeting you, people make certainjudgments right off the bat and
if you come on with so muchwarmth but lack showing signs of
(03:46):
competence, people are going toquestion if you're the person
for the job.
And we don't want that because,from my experience, people who
are warm, who lean more on thewarm side, are extremely
competent.
But we want to make sure it's agood combination of both.
Just as a reminder, if we leantoo much on the competent side,
(04:10):
this is when people will excuseme as I cough.
People will trust that you areable to do the job and you're
probably one of the best peopleto do the job, but you don't
come across as approachable.
And when you don't come acrossas approachable, that can create
its whole heap of otherproblems.
(04:32):
So if you want to listen to thatepisode, if you feel like, yeah
, you know what I don't reallyhave a problem with showcase
incompetence, actually need toshowcase more warmth.
That is in the last episodethat aired.
So how do we show morecompetence, more confidence, if
you tend to lean more on thewarm side?
(04:52):
Well, going back to the firstexample I gave, if you're
someone who sends text messagesor emails, so let's say you're
sending an email after you knowsomeone had a sales call with
you or you applied for anopportunity or whatnot.
When you are sending back areply message, are a few emojis
(05:17):
okay?
Yes, a few emojis are okay.
That's going to showcase alittle bit of warmth.
Are you going to plaster emojisall over your email with a
thousand exclamation marks?
Not, if you want to appearcharismatic, which again is a
combination of warmth andcompetence.
(05:39):
You really got to watch thatand it's funny because when I
first learned this even though Itend to lean more on the
competence side and I got tobring in more warmth when I'm
speaking directly with a personmy emails were a lot of emojis
(06:01):
and exclamation points.
I had to tone it down a littlebit.
Again, this is just snapjudgments.
This doesn't mean anythingabout you as a person or as your
personality.
These are just evidence-basedpractices that people use to
make snap judgments.
So if you want to put yourselfahead of the game and showcase
(06:24):
yourself in a way where youbecome irresistible to people,
people want you to hire you fortheir opportunities.
They want to hire you forbusiness.
They want to be around you.
You want to set the bar reallyhigh.
You want to be the personpeople think about right away,
then we we gotta work onshowcasing us as being very
(06:48):
charismatic, bringing some ofthat confidence with your warmth
.
So another way to do this isjust simply getting really,
really good at your craft.
So when you can master yourcraft, whatever that is,
whatever you are doing, if youare a coach, mastering your zone
(07:12):
of genius, if you're in realestate, just becoming literally
the best real estate agent onthe block, so to speak on the
block, so to speak, masteringyour craft and being able to
showcase that to people highly,highly increases your competence
.
If you can demonstrate what youdo and talk about it in a way
(07:35):
that's clear and concise, huge,huge competence marker.
This is one of the reasons why,when I do sales calls or
whatnot, I have such a highenrollment rate because people
feel the competence in me,because I'm able to clearly and
(07:58):
concisely showcase that I knowhow to help a person get from A
to Z.
So mastering your craft,getting really, really good at
it, so spending time on it,spending money on it, investing
in it, believing in yourself,working on it daily, weekly, and
(08:19):
if you have challenges withverbalizing what you do,
practice, that's it.
Practice, record yourself,literally get a microphone and
record yourself talking aboutwhat you do.
Go back over the recording andsee where you are putting filler
words.
Remove the filler words whereyou are losing track.
(08:42):
Going back, and how can youmake this as clear and concise
as possible?
That's going to immediatelybring the energy that you are
very competent and people aregoing to trust you.
It shows a huge level of trust.
That's a great way to also justpractice your communication
skills is going over, recordingyourself and seeing where are
(09:06):
you putting so many filler words.
I did this years ago and I wasin shock.
I was shocked and a littlehorrified at the amount of
filler words I was using.
But just having that awareness,if you use something called
Descript, that can be reallypowerful.
I think you can even sign upfor free, although the paid
(09:27):
version, I think, is able tomark all the filler words, but
you'll see which ones you use.
I use.
You know a lot.
That's like probably the last.
I just said like, but I don'tsay like often I say you know,
so when I'm recording somethingand I'll go back, I'll see.
Oh okay, I said this over andover and over again.
(09:49):
Your filler words will alsodecrease your competence.
Again doesn't mean you're notcompetent, but we got to watch
how we are talking.
This is one of the mostpowerful ways to increase your
competence is to look at howyou're communicating on a daily
basis, removing the filler words, using your confident.
(10:12):
Almost it's like you'respeaking from your diaphragm.
I believe this is what it'scalled.
We don't want to be talkingfrom our throat.
So if you go back and let's sayyou watched my videos from
years and years ago likeprobably eight, seven, eight
(10:32):
years ago my voice is verydifferent.
One of the reasons was becauseI just wasn't in my element yet.
I hadn't found my zone.
So I would talk more in mythroat.
It would be a little bitlighter, it would be a little
bit more, not necessarily soft,but you could tell that there
(10:52):
wasn't as much depth to my voice.
Power is important.
You want more power behind yourwords.
Increase the volume.
So if you're speaking reallyquietly and really soft like
this, people are going toimmediately have a preconceived
(11:18):
notion about you.
And again, there's nothingwrong with that, right, there's
nothing wrong with appearingwarm.
But if you want to appear morecompetent, make sure your voice
is representing that.
So another way to show moreconfidence is through your body
language.
(11:38):
This is huge.
Make sure that you are sittingup tall.
Make sure you are standing tall.
Your posture is as straight asit can be right.
I remember a video call I didand I remember being I wasn't
(11:59):
feeling confident, competent.
This was a video call for me.
I was learning a new skill.
This person, I had hired thisperson to teach me something.
So I wasn't feeling competentin this area and when I went
back to look at the video, I wasshocked to see how my posture
was.
I was all almost crumpled upand this was a sign of how I was
(12:22):
feeling inside, a little bitinsecure.
So, standing up on Zoom orwhatnot, okay, make eye contact.
Again, when people aren'tfeeling confident, they're going
to avoid eye contact.
(12:44):
They're not going to make eyecontact as much.
I remember a person who did alot of Facebook Lives or
Facebook trainings or whatnot,and she was very competent,
extremely competent, but shewasn't able to showcase that
well on video and one of thethings was she would never make
(13:08):
eye contact.
She was always kind of lookingaround or her eyes were shifting
around.
Now this can be because ofanxieties, nervousness.
Being on video like this is allreal.
I've been there.
It's not a huge deal.
We don't want to stop ourselvesfrom doing videos if we're
(13:28):
feeling nervous or insecure.
We want to do it because that'sone of the ways to get more
competent.
But having the awareness thatif you're feeling anxious, if
you're feeling nervous doing it,and you have certain things
that you do to self-soothepracticing, practicing making
(13:49):
eye contact, practicing holdingyour gaze, looking into the
camera, even if it's just for afew seconds, if you're fidgety,
practice hold something in yourhand so you're not fidgeting
around right Again, nothingwrong with any of these things,
but we want to make sure we'remaking the best first impression
(14:10):
.
I'm going to end it with onelast thing.
Now.
This can be challenging,especially for purpose-driven
entrepreneurs, business owners,leaders, people with a mission
heart-centered, intuitive,perhaps even introverted is
(14:34):
showcasing how freaking amazingyou are.
This was one for me.
I got to get better at doingFor my clients.
All my clients are fuckingamazing, Absolutely amazing,
absolutely incredible People.
I work with people.
I have calls, calls with peoplethat are in this community.
(14:55):
If you're listening to this, Iwould bet 99.99% you're freaking
amazing at what you do.
You're incredible.
However, we can have troubleverbalizing that this is a
problem, a big problem thathappens in the corporate world,
where often the person who'sgetting noticed, the person
(15:18):
whose ideas are getting noticed,the person who are getting the
opportunities, aren'tnecessarily the most competent.
They are the people that arethe loudest, they are the people
that are showcasing that theyare great.
Nobody is going to know howgood we are unless one they work
(15:38):
with us or two we're able toshowcase it.
And if we're not able toshowcase it, then chances are
people aren't going to work withus.
(15:58):
And you also know, internallyyou are just incredible.
You know you have the abilitiesto change people's lives, to do
your work in the world in a bigway, but you're not getting the
opportunities, you're notgetting noticed, you're not
(16:24):
becoming, you know, the obviouschoice for people.
Chances are you're notshowcasing enough of how good
you are practicing.
Talking about what you do in away that is clear, concise and
powerful, about the results thatyou get for people, that you
get for businesses, etc.
(16:44):
Is going to really change thegame for you, especially if you
lean more to the warm side,practicing, doing it in a way
that feels authentic to you soyou don't have to be the loudest
one in the room.
It could be, let's say, ifyou're an online entrepreneur,
(17:05):
simply sharing more testimonials, allowing other people to do
the talking for you, having yourclients do video testimonials
sharing how amazing you are.
So you don't have to verballyshare how amazing you are, even
though it's impactful that youdo.
And this is so, so neededbecause there's a lot of people
(17:29):
that, let's say, aren'toperating in integrity, that
aren't you know.
I'm thinking of one person whowould sing to the rooftops about
how incredible and amazing hisservices were and how he's just
the best of the best.
And I remember this persontotally just took a lot of
(17:54):
people's money who hadpre-booked, pre-boughten his
course, and then he neverdelivered, he never showed up,
he never actually gave anyonethe course.
He totally just kind ofvanished.
So and this is not the only,I'm thinking more so in the
(18:15):
world of coaching and onlineentrepreneurship.
I'm sure other industries are alittle bit different, but a lot
of times, people who are justunabashful about their
amazingness sometimes don'tdeliver or they act out of
integrity.
So the fact that you are someoneof high integrity, you know
(18:39):
what you're doing, you're goodat what you're doing, you act in
the good of the people.
It's a shame and I'm includingmyself in this too as well that
we are not more vocal about howincredible we are and how much
we can help people, because itreally is going to make you,
(19:01):
coupled with that warmth, becomeso charismatic that you just
become irresistible, becausepeople want to be around that.
People want to be around people.
People want to be around peoplewho make them feel good and
also people who they trust tohelp them, to support them, and
(19:21):
that's all it is.
That's all it is.
It's bringing in warmth, caring, genuine love and affection and
showcasing that you are greatat what you do and you can do it
and you're trustworthy and youact in integrity, and when you
can combine those two, it'sgolden.
(19:42):
Okay, I hope this was helpful.
Shoot me a questions if you gotquestions.
I love talking about thisbecause I know how impactful it
is when you can really showcasethis.
It opens so, so many doors.
This is what I used to do when Iwent to interviews.
I would and I didn't evenrealize what I was doing back
then, but this is what I woulddo.
(20:04):
I would combine the warmth withthe confidence and the
competence, and these are thetimes where I would ask you know
how long until you make adecision or whatnot, or whatever
I asked I can't remember, andpeople would tell me oh, it's
gonna be a couple of weeks,we'll reach out, blah, blah,
blah.
And on multiple occasions Iwould leave the job and I would
(20:28):
know that I did really, reallywell.
I could feel it in my bones andI would get a call before I
even reached home of themoffering me the position because
of how I presented myself inthe interview.
So this stuff is powerful.
Okay, one thing I'm going to add.
(20:50):
If you haven't seen it yet, ifyou haven't seen me talking
about the Power Play, this is aprogram that you are going to
want, especially if you're stilllistening to this episode
you're going to want to takenotice of, and if you're
interested in being one of thefirst in the Power Play in the
(21:14):
beta round, please do nothesitate to reach out and let's
have a conversation.
The power play is for businessleaders, professionals,
entrepreneurs who are ready totake their work, to take their
brand, to take what they'redoing in the world to the next
level, to start showing up in amore powerful, charismatic way,
(21:39):
so they become the obviouschoice in their industry.
We are doing the work aroundhelping you become that
charismatic leader.
These are evidence-basedpractices that you're going to
be learning and putting intopractice on a weekly basis, and
(22:00):
we're also going to be doing thedeeper, very necessary work to
help you internally become thatcharismatic leader.
So this is the deeper healingwork that I do with my private
clients that makes literallylife-changing results happen,
(22:22):
combined with the skills of howto show up externally, and you
are literally going to be thepower piece in your industry.
I can't wait for this program.
It's going to be absolutelylife-changing, business-changing
, especially as we move into2025, where people's skills are
(22:49):
going to be even more important.
I posted a statistic the otherday on my LinkedIn.
I believe it's 85% of successcomes from people skills, all of
what people skills entail, andonly 15 comes from the actual
technical skills.
As we move forward, as AI istaking over a lot of different
(23:16):
things in our life, peopleskills are even more like 10,000
times more important to learnhow to connect with people, how
to appear more charismatic.
So people want to be around you, they want to hire you, they
want to be in your presence,they want to work with you, they
want you in leadership roles.
(23:38):
This is not something that youcan sit back on and hope goes
away.
It's not, and we can become ourmost charismatic, best selves,
even though we're whole.
We're already whole, but we canshowcase it in the world in a
(23:59):
really fun and exciting way, andthat is what the power play is
going to be.
So if you're interested inbecoming a member of the beta
round, please send me an emailat info at lisajeffscom, or you
can shoot me a message on myInstagram, lisa underscore jeffs
, or on my LinkedIn, which I'mbecoming very active on.
(24:19):
So, if you're on LinkedIn,please add me as a connection.
I would love to connect onthere.
I'm pretty much on thereMondays through Fridays.
I'm going to wrap it up asalways.
I appreciate you, I honor you,I love you.
I'm so glad that you're here.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
And let's stay connected.
We'd be honored if you couldsubscribe, rate and leave a
review To stay updated withpractical tips and insights.
Follow us on LinkedIn,instagram or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
(25:11):
connected.
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