February 17, 2024 • 13 mins
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Within this session, you'll hear the striking story of Alex, a motivational speaker whose onstage prowess masks a torrent of insecurities, a reflection of the complex dance between confidence and self-esteem. We'll dissect the critical differences between these two aspects and reveal strategies to bolster your resilience against life's inevitable setbacks. For any leader seeking to ascend to new heights professionally and personally, this episode offers not just insights, but actionable steps to solidify a foundation of confidence that withstands the tremors of challenge and change. Join me, and let's embark on this journey toward a more empowered and confident you.
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're tuning into the confident connected leader
podcast, your premieredestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self doubt.
Sabotage and burn out.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, my leaders.
Today we're talking aboutcultivating unshakeable
confidence in your business, inyour career and in your life.
Welcome, my name is Lisa Jeffsand I've been coach for over a
decade.
A lot of individuals have cometo me to help them with their
(00:49):
confidence levels, whether thatis confidence in taking a risk,
making a big decision, taking aleap in their career, taking a
leap in their business.
A lot of times An individualwill come, will come to me
thinking that they needconfidence.
My framework to creatingunshakable confidence
(01:13):
encompasses three Very importantelements.
I call it the elite Trinity,because when you have this elite
Trinity In your tool belt andyou operate from a place of this
unshakable confidence, youbecome magnetizing magnetizing
(01:40):
to Opportunities, to people, tomoney, and you feel really,
really good about yourself.
So the elite Trinity tocreating unshakable confidence
competence, self esteem andresilience so, so important.
(02:04):
I want to show you thedifferent of, because a lot of
people can have confidence,especially a lot of highly
driven, capable leaders.
They can operate from a placeof competence.
They've been doing the work along time.
They know their stuff insideand out.
(02:26):
What they're really lacking inis self esteem.
They show up confident.
Others believe that they areconfident, but behind closed
doors they're doubtingthemselves, they're questioning
if they're doing enough.
They are enough, and often whenwe have challenges with our
(02:47):
self esteem, our resilience cansometimes take a hit.
So what this can look like is,let's say that they're in a
meeting and someone questionstheir ideas or their point of
view.
Or they're in a meeting andthey flat out get put down.
Especially if we are highlysensitive, that can really throw
(03:09):
a person out.
They can throw a person out fordays, weeks, months, and to
create an unstoppable confidencewithin, we want to get to a
place where you are resilient tothose moments, so you are able
to pick yourself up, processwhat happened.
(03:32):
You're emotionally resilient.
You can feel the feels.
It's not about bypassing theemotions or what you're feeling,
but it's about learning how tomove the emotion and get back on
track with what you are doing,to be able to separate yourself
(03:55):
from the criticism or whatdidn't go right, the failures,
and get right back on yourvision, knowing and trusting
that you are good enough, that,no matter what happens, nothing
is a indication that you aresomehow not enough, and you get
(04:17):
right back on Moving forward.
Okay, so let me give you a storyI want to tell you a little bit
of a story of someone with lowself-esteem and high confidence,
so you have a betterunderstanding of how this shows
up.
So I want you to imagine thischaracter.
(04:38):
Let's call them Alex.
So Alex is a charismatic andpopular motivational speaker.
Alex has a knack for holding anaudience, is attention and
persuading them.
With his words.
He exudes a level of confidenceon stage that many would envy.
(04:58):
He navigates questions anddelivers inspiring speeches with
apparent ease.
However, when he steps off thestage, alex often battles with
feelings of self-doubt andworthlessness.
Despite the success heexperiences, he struggles to see
(05:19):
his own worth beyond the stagepersona.
He constantly compares himselfto others and believes he is
never good enough.
This reflects his lowself-esteem.
No matter how successful hebecomes, he struggles to shake
off these feelings of inadequacy.
(05:41):
So do you see how this is aexample of someone who's
confident?
They can show up on stage verycompetent.
People look at them like theyare, are having all together,
but behind closed doors.
That's when the feelings ofinadequacy and insecurity come
over.
So this is a high percentage ofthe leaders that I work with.
(06:04):
They've gotten to a place intheir careers or in their
business because they are verycompetent.
What's holding them back now isthe fact that they feel
inadequate, or they feelinsecure to the point where they
are holding themselves backright.
This can lead to a lot ofsabotage.
(06:27):
So now I'm going to read you astory of someone with high
self-esteem and Low confidence.
Okay, we're gonna talk aboutAaron right now.
So Aaron is a brilliant andwell respected physicist.
She deeply values herself andher abilities.
This reflects her highself-esteem.
(06:48):
Aaron understands her worth andfeels content with who she is.
This sense of self-worthdoesn't waver in the face of
criticism, indicating her strongself-esteem.
However, when asked to delivera public lecture on a recent
findings, aaron hesitates.
(07:09):
The thought of speaking infront of a large audience makes
her nervous, even though sheknows her subject matter better
than anyone.
She fears she might stumbleover her words or forget
important points mid-speech.
Despite her high self-esteem,aaron's confidence in her
speaking skills is low.
(07:30):
Do you see the difference there?
So for Erin, she has a fabulousself-image, she knows she's the
, but she's not competent.
She doesn't feel competent inher skills in certain areas.
Okay.
So in both of these stories,erin and Alex show that
(07:52):
self-esteem and confidence, wellinterconnected, can vary
independently In a lot of casesthe leaders have come to me and
I'm sharing this because if youcan really grasp this, you
understand what you need.
So I'll give you an example.
So let's say that there'ssomeone who is having a
(08:14):
challenge with communication.
They don't feel confident withcommunication, so they go to a
training for communication, butwhen we peel back the curtains,
so to speak, we see it's.
Yes, they may have lack ofcompetence in their speaking
(08:34):
abilities, but really what theissue is is they don't feel
worthy of sharing their opinions.
They have a very low self-worthand we'll go into, you know, we
can talk about why that is inanother one.
But if that individual onlygoes to skill building workshop
(08:58):
and teachers, they're gonna havea very long road to get to
where they want to get, becausethey're not actually dealing
with what is inside, and a lotof times this has to do with
traumas and experiences fromlong, long time ago.
Right, that told me.
(09:19):
I've told this person that theyare, they're not worth listening
to or they have some kind ofinadequacy.
So now they have a distortedself-image of themselves.
So when we are cultivatingunshakable confidence, we are
looking at again the competence.
(09:40):
So this is the skills.
Right, this is the skills.
How do you do something?
How good are you?
Do you have the tools in yourtool belt, the self-esteem,
which is huge.
This is a big one for a lot ofpeople really working on that
self-worth, that self-image,creating this solid, grounded
(10:05):
belief, intrinsic self-worth,that you are here for a reason,
that you are here to share amessage that you are deserving
of everything you're asking for.
And then the last part of thetrinity is the resilience,
because we have to have to haveto be able to pick ourselves up
(10:27):
and move forward, to really bein this place of.
I am unshakable, I am confident.
And let me tell you, when youget into that place, you become
a magnet.
People wanna be around you.
You have this energy about you.
(10:48):
You know when you are aroundpeople as a leader, whether
you're in your career or in yourbusiness, you are magnetizing.
This is the elite trinity.
Let me know if you resonatewith this.
I'm gonna continue talking aboutthis topic, really diving in to
(11:11):
what it means.
What are the practical steps ofcultivating this unshakable
confidence?
The most important thing toknow right now is that you can.
A lot of this is learn skill.
A lot of this is healing.
A lot of this is understanding,tuning in, connecting to
(11:34):
yourself, going deeper, gettingout of the head right, not being
so heady, getting into the body, getting into the heart, really
feeling the uncomfortableemotion.
And we can't create unshakableconfidence until we are really,
(11:55):
really honest with ourselves.
So I'm going to wrap it upright now.
But when you create this elitetrinity, when you embody it, you
move through life so muchdifferently lighter more
magnetic.
(12:16):
This is the goal, so stickaround, give me some feedback.
I'd love to hear your feedback.
If you have any questions,please don't be scared to ask
them.
It gives me great ideas Withevery question.
It gives me great ideas for newcontent that's really going to
(12:36):
give you the value that you arelooking for.
That's it.
I appreciate you, I honor youand let's stay connected.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram
(13:08):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
You're tuning into the confident connected leader
podcast, your premieredestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self doubt.
Sabotage and burn out.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Hello, my leaders.
Today we're talking aboutcultivating unshakeable
confidence in your business, inyour career and in your life.
Welcome, my name is Lisa Jeffsand I've been coach for over a
decade.
A lot of individuals have cometo me to help them with their
(00:49):
confidence levels, whether thatis confidence in taking a risk,
making a big decision, taking aleap in their career, taking a
leap in their business.
A lot of times An individualwill come, will come to me
thinking that they needconfidence.
My framework to creatingunshakable confidence
(01:13):
encompasses three Very importantelements.
I call it the elite Trinity,because when you have this elite
Trinity In your tool belt andyou operate from a place of this
unshakable confidence, youbecome magnetizing magnetizing
(01:40):
to Opportunities, to people, tomoney, and you feel really,
really good about yourself.
So the elite Trinity tocreating unshakable confidence
competence, self esteem andresilience so, so important.
(02:04):
I want to show you thedifferent of, because a lot of
people can have confidence,especially a lot of highly
driven, capable leaders.
They can operate from a placeof competence.
They've been doing the work along time.
They know their stuff insideand out.
(02:26):
What they're really lacking inis self esteem.
They show up confident.
Others believe that they areconfident, but behind closed
doors they're doubtingthemselves, they're questioning
if they're doing enough.
They are enough, and often whenwe have challenges with our
(02:47):
self esteem, our resilience cansometimes take a hit.
So what this can look like is,let's say that they're in a
meeting and someone questionstheir ideas or their point of
view.
Or they're in a meeting andthey flat out get put down.
Especially if we are highlysensitive, that can really throw
(03:09):
a person out.
They can throw a person out fordays, weeks, months, and to
create an unstoppable confidencewithin, we want to get to a
place where you are resilient tothose moments, so you are able
to pick yourself up, processwhat happened.
(03:32):
You're emotionally resilient.
You can feel the feels.
It's not about bypassing theemotions or what you're feeling,
but it's about learning how tomove the emotion and get back on
track with what you are doing,to be able to separate yourself
(03:55):
from the criticism or whatdidn't go right, the failures,
and get right back on yourvision, knowing and trusting
that you are good enough, that,no matter what happens, nothing
is a indication that you aresomehow not enough, and you get
(04:17):
right back on Moving forward.
Okay, so let me give you a storyI want to tell you a little bit
of a story of someone with lowself-esteem and high confidence,
so you have a betterunderstanding of how this shows
up.
So I want you to imagine thischaracter.
(04:38):
Let's call them Alex.
So Alex is a charismatic andpopular motivational speaker.
Alex has a knack for holding anaudience, is attention and
persuading them.
With his words.
He exudes a level of confidenceon stage that many would envy.
(04:58):
He navigates questions anddelivers inspiring speeches with
apparent ease.
However, when he steps off thestage, alex often battles with
feelings of self-doubt andworthlessness.
Despite the success heexperiences, he struggles to see
(05:19):
his own worth beyond the stagepersona.
He constantly compares himselfto others and believes he is
never good enough.
This reflects his lowself-esteem.
No matter how successful hebecomes, he struggles to shake
off these feelings of inadequacy.
(05:41):
So do you see how this is aexample of someone who's
confident?
They can show up on stage verycompetent.
People look at them like theyare, are having all together,
but behind closed doors.
That's when the feelings ofinadequacy and insecurity come
over.
So this is a high percentage ofthe leaders that I work with.
(06:04):
They've gotten to a place intheir careers or in their
business because they are verycompetent.
What's holding them back now isthe fact that they feel
inadequate, or they feelinsecure to the point where they
are holding themselves backright.
This can lead to a lot ofsabotage.
(06:27):
So now I'm going to read you astory of someone with high
self-esteem and Low confidence.
Okay, we're gonna talk aboutAaron right now.
So Aaron is a brilliant andwell respected physicist.
She deeply values herself andher abilities.
This reflects her highself-esteem.
(06:48):
Aaron understands her worth andfeels content with who she is.
This sense of self-worthdoesn't waver in the face of
criticism, indicating her strongself-esteem.
However, when asked to delivera public lecture on a recent
findings, aaron hesitates.
(07:09):
The thought of speaking infront of a large audience makes
her nervous, even though sheknows her subject matter better
than anyone.
She fears she might stumbleover her words or forget
important points mid-speech.
Despite her high self-esteem,aaron's confidence in her
speaking skills is low.
(07:30):
Do you see the difference there?
So for Erin, she has a fabulousself-image, she knows she's the
, but she's not competent.
She doesn't feel competent inher skills in certain areas.
Okay.
So in both of these stories,erin and Alex show that
(07:52):
self-esteem and confidence, wellinterconnected, can vary
independently In a lot of casesthe leaders have come to me and
I'm sharing this because if youcan really grasp this, you
understand what you need.
So I'll give you an example.
So let's say that there'ssomeone who is having a
(08:14):
challenge with communication.
They don't feel confident withcommunication, so they go to a
training for communication, butwhen we peel back the curtains,
so to speak, we see it's.
Yes, they may have lack ofcompetence in their speaking
(08:34):
abilities, but really what theissue is is they don't feel
worthy of sharing their opinions.
They have a very low self-worthand we'll go into, you know, we
can talk about why that is inanother one.
But if that individual onlygoes to skill building workshop
(08:58):
and teachers, they're gonna havea very long road to get to
where they want to get, becausethey're not actually dealing
with what is inside, and a lotof times this has to do with
traumas and experiences fromlong, long time ago.
Right, that told me.
(09:19):
I've told this person that theyare, they're not worth listening
to or they have some kind ofinadequacy.
So now they have a distortedself-image of themselves.
So when we are cultivatingunshakable confidence, we are
looking at again the competence.
(09:40):
So this is the skills.
Right, this is the skills.
How do you do something?
How good are you?
Do you have the tools in yourtool belt, the self-esteem,
which is huge.
This is a big one for a lot ofpeople really working on that
self-worth, that self-image,creating this solid, grounded
(10:05):
belief, intrinsic self-worth,that you are here for a reason,
that you are here to share amessage that you are deserving
of everything you're asking for.
And then the last part of thetrinity is the resilience,
because we have to have to haveto be able to pick ourselves up
(10:27):
and move forward, to really bein this place of.
I am unshakable, I am confident.
And let me tell you, when youget into that place, you become
a magnet.
People wanna be around you.
You have this energy about you.
(10:48):
You know when you are aroundpeople as a leader, whether
you're in your career or in yourbusiness, you are magnetizing.
This is the elite trinity.
Let me know if you resonatewith this.
I'm gonna continue talking aboutthis topic, really diving in to
(11:11):
what it means.
What are the practical steps ofcultivating this unshakable
confidence?
The most important thing toknow right now is that you can.
A lot of this is learn skill.
A lot of this is healing.
A lot of this is understanding,tuning in, connecting to
(11:34):
yourself, going deeper, gettingout of the head right, not being
so heady, getting into the body, getting into the heart, really
feeling the uncomfortableemotion.
And we can't create unshakableconfidence until we are really,
(11:55):
really honest with ourselves.
So I'm going to wrap it upright now.
But when you create this elitetrinity, when you embody it, you
move through life so muchdifferently lighter more
magnetic.
(12:16):
This is the goal, so stickaround, give me some feedback.
I'd love to hear your feedback.
If you have any questions,please don't be scared to ask
them.
It gives me great ideas Withevery question.
It gives me great ideas for newcontent that's really going to
(12:36):
give you the value that you arelooking for.
That's it.
I appreciate you, I honor youand let's stay connected.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram
(13:08):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
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