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Have you ever chased success so fiercely that you've teetered on the edge of burnout? Join me, Lisa Jeffs, as we peel back the layers of high achievement and question the real motivations that drive us. In a candid conversation, we confront the truth about our hunger for personal growth versus the hunt for external approval. I'll even share a piece of my own story, where a single comment sent me spiraling into a relentless pursuit of achievements, highlighting the dangers of goals that don't resonate with our core values. This episode isn't just about self-discovery; it's about taking back control and nurturing fulfillment without compromising your health and happiness.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
As high achievers, we need to be so aware of what is
driving us forward.
Is it our core desire to bebetter, to grow, to achieve our
vision, because it's somethingthat's aligned with why we are
(00:23):
here?
Or are we chasing thisinvisible goalpost that is going
to tell us that we are somehowenough if we get there, that we
are somehow enough if we keepstriving and working really,
(00:47):
really hard and ultimatelyburning ourselves out?
Because if that is the case,then it is a never-ending black
hole that will never be filledand we are going to exhaust
ourselves, even trying.
If this resonates, stick withus.
(01:10):
We're going in deep in thissense.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader
podcast, your premieredestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So the purpose of this episode is to help you if
you're feeling a little bitdisconnected from your work or
you're feeling like you're on anescalator and you just keep
going and you just keep going,but you're never getting
anywhere.
It doesn't feel like you'rereaching the point where you're
(02:05):
like, yes, I feel fulfilled.
This is so soul-fulfilling.
So we're going to go into whythis is.
Why can high achievers achievea lot and have a lot of success
but then get to a point wherethey're just like what am I even
(02:26):
doing?
What even is this for?
And a component of that is thisfeeling.
Many high achievers that I'vespoken to I can resonate with
this.
The clients that I work with alot of them can resonate with
(02:48):
this.
This person has it all.
They got it going on, butinternally they don't feel
enough.
They're burning out.
(03:10):
Well, they've been burnt outfor a long time and it's
constantly this kind of chasegoing on, which has its time or
place, but at a period it canreally start to fizzle you out.
So we have to kind of roll backthe gears a bit and look at,
(03:32):
well, what was driving usforward in the first place, and
did something along that pathhappen to where we somehow
switched gears, maybe forgot ourintrinsic why and started going
down another path.
(03:53):
Or maybe we never had thatintrinsic why clear.
Maybe it was more of a sense ofI need to prove myself.
Or I need to make this happento show the person that spoke
(04:14):
some words over me and made mefeel small, invisible or not
enough.
Maybe now I'm on this path toprove my worth and going into
that.
When people speak words over us, now let's preface and say that
(04:41):
nobody can make us feelanything.
Nobody can make us feelanything.
They can be a part of theequation, but we have to own
what we feel.
We have to be responsible forwhat we feel, and this can be
(05:02):
challenging for some people whoare in a very still a victim
consciousness, and this is itcan be a fine line, because we
can absolutely be in a placewhere we are victimized.
I've been in relationships inmy past where I was absolutely
(05:25):
victimized by a person who wasquite abusive with their words
and at the end started to getphysical when we had a breakup.
But even still, I had to own myown inner working what was
(05:47):
going on internally, because ifI didn't, then I would have no
power to change it.
I would have no power to movebeyond.
Looking at it in the sense ofwhen we get into these paths of
(06:08):
trying to prove ourselves a lotof times this is unconscious
Many years ago when I started mypath of, I would say, really
leaning into my type Atendencies.
So I've always had somewhat of atype A tendency.
I had my first job, which Iwanted, which I begged my
(06:31):
parents I could have, and Iwasn't even supposed to have it
because I was 11 and not 12.
It was a paper route but Iwanted it, so I just wanted to
do it.
And then, after the paper route, I had a little hiatus and then
I started working again afterschool, my parents' business,
(06:57):
and so I've always been working.
I've always been the type tofind things to do, to work,
always be driven towardssomething.
I always remember feeling alittle bit just kind of lost at
sea when I wasn't workingtowards something.
And I'm not saying that that'sa good thing, I'm not saying
that's healthy necessarily, I'mnot saying it is or it isn't,
(07:18):
but it just was what it was.
But I would always feel alittle bit lost if I didn't feel
like I had a purpose, movingforward.
But there was an incidence in myearly 20s where someone I cared
very deeply for and respectedspoke some words over me that
weren't intended to be malicious.
(07:40):
They were intended somewhat, Ithink, to be helpful.
I think they were mostlyunconscious words that that
person wasn't particularlythinking about, but they really
stung me.
It had to do with me being oldand uneducated, which now, when
(08:03):
I look back, I kind of laugh atbecause I wasn't old at all.
I don't even think I'm old nowin my 40s.
Certainly wasn't old.
This is my early 20s.
But it really triggered mebecause there was a part of me
that did feel like, oh, maybe Iam a little bit behind.
I had my daughter when I was 24and before that that was my
(08:28):
rough period.
If you know my story, that'sthe period where I was in a lot
of addiction in the adultentertainment industry.
It triggered parts of me thatfelt like I was behind, I wasn't
doing enough, I wasn't furtherahead.
It just sent me into this realinsane multi-year I don't even
(08:56):
know what you want to call it,but where I was just on this
achievement rampage and it wasjust the I was going to.
I was in college.
Then I was in university and Iwas making sure I was getting on
the Dean's list and I wasgraduating with honors, and then
(09:19):
I was running marathons andthen I was getting multiple
certifications and all thesejust a whole bunch of stuff.
I'm not saying it was a badthing.
I learned a lot.
I achieved a lot.
I was really proud of myselffor doing a lot of these things.
But it wasn't driven from aplace of hey, I want to do this
(09:43):
because it's cool and I thinkI'm going to learn a lot and I
want to be really proud ofmyself.
It was driven from a place ofI'm going to prove.
First it was to this person,I'm going to prove to this
person that I'm not old anduneducated.
Then it was just a I'm justgoing to prove to the world or
(10:07):
to myself.
I'm not even sure what wasgoing on internally when I was
doing all this.
It was very unconscious.
It wasn't until later on, when Istarted digging in, that I
could see ooh, this is what'shappening.
I started getting really tired.
I started realizing what am Idoing?
(10:30):
This is really hard living.
I'm actually I love being in my40s because a lot of things
just started making sense in my40s and a lot of things just
started to get kicked to thecurb.
And one of those things wasthis drive from a place of not
(10:51):
enoughness, because that is aroad to burnout and you can
never fulfill yourself.
From that place, there's nevera point where you will get where
you feel fulfilled, becauseit's just a whole.
It's a black hole.
You keep putting in putting inachievements, putting in this,
(11:13):
putting in that, and you'remiserable.
I heard today I don't evenremember who I was listening to,
to be honest, but they weretalking about them having.
Oh, I know who it was.
It was Dr Joe Dispenza and hewas talking about how he's had
multiple interviews withbillionaires who have said, you
(11:36):
know, were miserable.
And I'm not saying that theyare miserable because they are
in the same pattern, but there'sa disconnect with what they are
doing, because if there wasn'ta disconnect then they wouldn't
be miserable.
They've obviously achieved alot, but it's not fulfilling
them.
So there's a disconnect here.
(11:59):
So I want you to start lookingat, if you're feeling like
you're in a place where you'rejust not not feeling this
exhilaration for your life andfor your work what's going on
there?
Are you connected to yourdeeper intrinsic why of why this
(12:24):
is important and we go throughperiods where it's you know we
have to stop and reconnect withthat why, and maybe that why has
changed For me over the pastfew months.
I would say, well, maybe even ayear now.
Time is going by so quickly.
I really had to tune back intookay, why am I?
(12:46):
You know what got me reallylike, just pushed me, you know,
through all the tough times,what was driving this drive?
And it was really.
You know I'm remembering of asense that I went through a very
hard time in my adolescence andwhen, anytime I tune into that,
(13:13):
those times it really fires meup to where I want to help
others move beyond that samechallenge, because I know many
people are going through similarchallenges as I went through
feeling not enough, havingpeople speak over you, things
(13:36):
where they stick with you andyou can ruminate on them, and
they're so not the truth of whoyou are, they're not even close
to the truth.
You know, anything that's spokenover you that is not serving
(13:58):
you, that is lack in limitation,that is judgment and
projections.
We have to learn how to seethese things just for they are
and not absorb them into ourbeing and have them just leave
(14:25):
this imprint on everything thatwe do.
These things as simple as acomment or as an experience,
whether it is a very painful oneor whether it wasn't that
painful at the time, but maybenow it's gotten roots, it
(14:48):
doesn't even matter, and maybeit was years of people speaking
over you or maybe it was justone simple thing that happened,
but these things leave imprints.
You know, when I'm working withclients, one of the first
things that we do is healingwork.
(15:09):
So even if a client comes to meand we are working on their
vision and we are working onhelping make more money or have
clarity on a decision forward,or whatever it is, fill in the
blank, we're going to do healingat the beginning because I know
, if someone is coming to me,there's stuff to be done,
(15:31):
there's stuff to be let go of,there are fears, there is
worries, there's doubts, there'sthings to do, often with their
self-esteem, confidence levels,and when we go through the
process that I take my clientsthrough often we can a memory
(15:52):
will surface, and this memory isnothing huge.
I can't tell you how many timesa client will say I don't know
if this is even relevant, butthis is what's coming through
and if it is coming through,it's relevant, especially when
we're doing intuitive work.
(16:14):
We are working, when I'm workingwith clients, I'm doing
intuitive work, intuitivehealing, I'm working with my
guides.
These come up for a reason andoften it's just this thing that
people are like oh, this wasjust this insignificant thing.
But then, when we explore it alittle bit more, there's
(16:34):
emotions that come up right,whether that is grief or sadness
, frustration, anger, and thesethings that have happened leave
this mark and it's like an echothat just continues throughout
and it holds people back.
(16:56):
It holds people back fromtaking actions.
It holds people back fromputting out things that they
really want to put out becauseof fear of judgment, because of
fear of what other people willthink of them, of their work,
and it is a massive epidemic.
(17:18):
It really is, and one of thecomforting things.
I don't know if this is going tocomfort you or terrify you, but
across the board, we're allvery, very alike, especially if
you resonate with being a highachiever, someone who's driven,
a leader, you have a vision,you're ambitious.
(17:41):
It's just these same thingsthat get in the way of you
moving forward.
So, okay, what do you do withall this?
Great Lisa, what do I do withall this?
So, if you're resonating withthis, I want you to ask yourself
(18:02):
some questions.
It really involvesself-reflection and if you have
trouble with this, you can reachout, apply for a breakthrough
call.
We'll have a conversation, seeif coaching is right for you.
But it's really getting clearwhy am I doing this?
(18:25):
Why do I want my vision?
What is going on for me here?
Am I in a place where it'salmost like an emotional storm,
where there's just all thisdoubt and worry and uncertainty?
And it's gotten a momentum,it's gained a momentum to where
(18:48):
it's bigger than my why rightnow and this is why I feel kind
of stuck and unsure and a littlebit stagnant Then it's tuning
back.
Well, why?
What matters to me?
What actually gets me excitedwhen I think about it?
Is it helping a certain groupof people?
For me, anytime I hear anythingabout youth or adolescence even
(19:14):
though I'm not directing mypractice towards youth and
adolescence anytime I hear, itjust fires me up.
It fires me up.
I get really fired up and thenI get motivated to move forward.
Part of the work that I'm doingin my work now part of the
(19:37):
future.
My bigger plan is to bring inmore youth work.
Whether that's in a nonprofitspace or what that looks like,
I'm not 100% sure yet, but thatfires me up and it's like, yes,
this is why I got into this workin the first place is to impact
people, is to impact people whoare hurting, who have these
(20:05):
limitations that aren't actuallyreal limitations in the sense
of they're not movable, butthey're so real to the person
because they are things thathave been spoken over them, that
have happened to them memories,situations and these can be
(20:28):
really, really challenging torelease.
And it gets me fired up andthat's what you want to feel
when you are a leader, when youhave a vision, and it's firing
that back up to be able to moveyou forward beyond the doubts,
(20:54):
beyond the fear, because there'salways going to be if you're
growing, there's always going tobe fears, there's always going
to be doubts.
That's okay, that's a problem.
Sometimes we have thisexpectation that, you know, I
should have no fear, I shouldhave no doubt, or it should all
just be roses and buttercups allthe time and it's no fear and
(21:17):
doubt is fine.
What's not.
What you don't want to do ishave them stop you.
You don't want the fear to getin the way of you moving forward
into what the work is.
You came here to do so, askingyourself, getting real with
(21:42):
yourself, grabbing a pen,grabbing a journal, and start
some self-reflection of why,what is my, why, what is my why,
what gets you fired up?
Sometimes it's watching, youknow, a documentary, or watching
(22:04):
a few documentaries, orwatching a few movies and
allowing yourself, followingwhat your body is telling you.
You know where's your body.
You know my mother lovesenvironmental stuff.
She's huge on it, so that getsher fired up.
(22:25):
For me not so much.
That's not my purpose here.
That's not my path, at leastnot right now.
You know, when I watch, youknow certain things, that gets
me fired up.
Pay attention.
Pay attention to what your bodyis telling you.
(22:47):
And if you feel like you're in aplace where you're needing to
prove yourself and you're inthis kind of burnout loop where
you're giving, giving, giving,but you're not receiving back,
(23:08):
you're not feeling like you'rereally receiving, you're not
receiving from your achievements, you're not receiving from the
goals you're setting, you're notreceiving back, I want you to
look at your capacity to receive.
Are you open to receiving andwhen we are in a driving mode of
(23:31):
trying to prove ourselves,often we're not open to
receiving because we don't feelthat we're worthy enough.
And if we don't feel that we'reworthy enough, we're going to
have a real challenge receiving.
We're going to keep getting inour own way of receiving.
We're going to be blocking it.
We're going to be blocking themagic and the goodness that the
(23:55):
universe is trying to give us.
And we are worthy.
We don't need to prove, wedon't need to earn our worth.
We are 100% worthy as we areNow.
Whether we believe that or not,that's another story, but we are
, and the more we can lean intothis is my purpose and your
(24:18):
purpose, by the way, is just youshowing up authentically as you
.
Whatever capacity that is, doesit mean you?
It doesn't.
I'm not saying that it's yourcertain work that you're doing.
It's really just you showing upauthentically as you and you
know you're moving withauthenticity.
(24:40):
When you're feeling it right,when you feel excitement, when
you feel joy, when you feelthese emotions, this is a good
indication that you're on theright track, not saying that you
can't feel other things, likesadness and grief, and those are
all part of our journey, but ifyou're looking at your work
(25:02):
specifically, you know whenyou're feeling joy and when
you're feeling excitement.
You know you're on the rightpath and you are worthy of
receiving back all that you aregiving forward.
So I'm going to wrap it up.
(25:22):
I know we went on a little bitof tangents here, but this is a
challenging.
This can be challenging for alot of high achievers who have
trouble making space for rest,making space for things to just
(25:46):
enjoy themselves, for pleasure,for fun, and a lot of stress and
burnout can happen when we'rein this mode of trying to prove
our worth through working harderand through doing more and you
(26:07):
don't need to do anymore.
A big part of it is just youreceiving more, receiving what
is your capacity to receive.
Let me know if this resonates.
If you want more on this topic,I can go more granular, more
specific into certain parts ofthe content.
(26:31):
Send me a DM on Instagram,reach out if it resonates.
I would love to hear from youdirectly If it resonates and
hear any of your topicsuggestions.
Have a wonderful rest of yourday If you're still here.
I honor you.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me.
I take your time seriously andI want to make sure that I'm
(26:56):
sharing value for you.
So thank you and, as always,let's stay connected.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram
(27:28):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
As high achievers, we need to be so aware of what is
driving us forward.
Is it our core desire to bebetter, to grow, to achieve our
vision, because it's somethingthat's aligned with why we are
(00:23):
here?
Or are we chasing thisinvisible goalpost that is going
to tell us that we are somehowenough if we get there, that we
are somehow enough if we keepstriving and working really,
(00:47):
really hard and ultimatelyburning ourselves out?
Because if that is the case,then it is a never-ending black
hole that will never be filledand we are going to exhaust
ourselves, even trying.
If this resonates, stick withus.
(01:10):
We're going in deep in thissense.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
You're tuning into the Confident, Connected Leader
podcast, your premieredestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, Lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
So the purpose of this episode is to help you if
you're feeling a little bitdisconnected from your work or
you're feeling like you're on anescalator and you just keep
going and you just keep going,but you're never getting
anywhere.
It doesn't feel like you'rereaching the point where you're
(02:05):
like, yes, I feel fulfilled.
This is so soul-fulfilling.
So we're going to go into whythis is.
Why can high achievers achievea lot and have a lot of success
but then get to a point wherethey're just like what am I even
(02:26):
doing?
What even is this for?
And a component of that is thisfeeling.
Many high achievers that I'vespoken to I can resonate with
this.
The clients that I work with alot of them can resonate with
(02:48):
this.
This person has it all.
They got it going on, butinternally they don't feel
enough.
They're burning out.
(03:10):
Well, they've been burnt outfor a long time and it's
constantly this kind of chasegoing on, which has its time or
place, but at a period it canreally start to fizzle you out.
So we have to kind of roll backthe gears a bit and look at,
(03:32):
well, what was driving usforward in the first place, and
did something along that pathhappen to where we somehow
switched gears, maybe forgot ourintrinsic why and started going
down another path.
(03:53):
Or maybe we never had thatintrinsic why clear.
Maybe it was more of a sense ofI need to prove myself.
Or I need to make this happento show the person that spoke
(04:14):
some words over me and made mefeel small, invisible or not
enough.
Maybe now I'm on this path toprove my worth and going into
that.
When people speak words over us, now let's preface and say that
(04:41):
nobody can make us feelanything.
Nobody can make us feelanything.
They can be a part of theequation, but we have to own
what we feel.
We have to be responsible forwhat we feel, and this can be
(05:02):
challenging for some people whoare in a very still a victim
consciousness, and this is itcan be a fine line, because we
can absolutely be in a placewhere we are victimized.
I've been in relationships inmy past where I was absolutely
(05:25):
victimized by a person who wasquite abusive with their words
and at the end started to getphysical when we had a breakup.
But even still, I had to own myown inner working what was
(05:47):
going on internally, because ifI didn't, then I would have no
power to change it.
I would have no power to movebeyond.
Looking at it in the sense ofwhen we get into these paths of
(06:08):
trying to prove ourselves a lotof times this is unconscious
Many years ago when I started mypath of, I would say, really
leaning into my type Atendencies.
So I've always had somewhat of atype A tendency.
I had my first job, which Iwanted, which I begged my
(06:31):
parents I could have, and Iwasn't even supposed to have it
because I was 11 and not 12.
It was a paper route but Iwanted it, so I just wanted to
do it.
And then, after the paper route, I had a little hiatus and then
I started working again afterschool, my parents' business,
(06:57):
and so I've always been working.
I've always been the type tofind things to do, to work,
always be driven towardssomething.
I always remember feeling alittle bit just kind of lost at
sea when I wasn't workingtowards something.
And I'm not saying that that'sa good thing, I'm not saying
that's healthy necessarily, I'mnot saying it is or it isn't,
(07:18):
but it just was what it was.
But I would always feel alittle bit lost if I didn't feel
like I had a purpose, movingforward.
But there was an incidence in myearly 20s where someone I cared
very deeply for and respectedspoke some words over me that
weren't intended to be malicious.
(07:40):
They were intended somewhat, Ithink, to be helpful.
I think they were mostlyunconscious words that that
person wasn't particularlythinking about, but they really
stung me.
It had to do with me being oldand uneducated, which now, when
(08:03):
I look back, I kind of laugh atbecause I wasn't old at all.
I don't even think I'm old nowin my 40s.
Certainly wasn't old.
This is my early 20s.
But it really triggered mebecause there was a part of me
that did feel like, oh, maybe Iam a little bit behind.
I had my daughter when I was 24and before that that was my
(08:28):
rough period.
If you know my story, that'sthe period where I was in a lot
of addiction in the adultentertainment industry.
It triggered parts of me thatfelt like I was behind, I wasn't
doing enough, I wasn't furtherahead.
It just sent me into this realinsane multi-year I don't even
(08:56):
know what you want to call it,but where I was just on this
achievement rampage and it wasjust the I was going to.
I was in college.
Then I was in university and Iwas making sure I was getting on
the Dean's list and I wasgraduating with honors, and then
(09:19):
I was running marathons andthen I was getting multiple
certifications and all thesejust a whole bunch of stuff.
I'm not saying it was a badthing.
I learned a lot.
I achieved a lot.
I was really proud of myselffor doing a lot of these things.
But it wasn't driven from aplace of hey, I want to do this
(09:43):
because it's cool and I thinkI'm going to learn a lot and I
want to be really proud ofmyself.
It was driven from a place ofI'm going to prove.
First it was to this person,I'm going to prove to this
person that I'm not old anduneducated.
Then it was just a I'm justgoing to prove to the world or
(10:07):
to myself.
I'm not even sure what wasgoing on internally when I was
doing all this.
It was very unconscious.
It wasn't until later on, when Istarted digging in, that I
could see ooh, this is what'shappening.
I started getting really tired.
I started realizing what am Idoing?
(10:30):
This is really hard living.
I'm actually I love being in my40s because a lot of things
just started making sense in my40s and a lot of things just
started to get kicked to thecurb.
And one of those things wasthis drive from a place of not
(10:51):
enoughness, because that is aroad to burnout and you can
never fulfill yourself.
From that place, there's nevera point where you will get where
you feel fulfilled, becauseit's just a whole.
It's a black hole.
You keep putting in putting inachievements, putting in this,
(11:13):
putting in that, and you'remiserable.
I heard today I don't evenremember who I was listening to,
to be honest, but they weretalking about them having.
Oh, I know who it was.
It was Dr Joe Dispenza and hewas talking about how he's had
multiple interviews withbillionaires who have said, you
(11:36):
know, were miserable.
And I'm not saying that theyare miserable because they are
in the same pattern, but there'sa disconnect with what they are
doing, because if there wasn'ta disconnect then they wouldn't
be miserable.
They've obviously achieved alot, but it's not fulfilling
them.
So there's a disconnect here.
(11:59):
So I want you to start lookingat, if you're feeling like
you're in a place where you'rejust not not feeling this
exhilaration for your life andfor your work what's going on
there?
Are you connected to yourdeeper intrinsic why of why this
(12:24):
is important and we go throughperiods where it's you know we
have to stop and reconnect withthat why, and maybe that why has
changed For me over the pastfew months.
I would say, well, maybe even ayear now.
Time is going by so quickly.
I really had to tune back intookay, why am I?
(12:46):
You know what got me reallylike, just pushed me, you know,
through all the tough times,what was driving this drive?
And it was really.
You know I'm remembering of asense that I went through a very
hard time in my adolescence andwhen, anytime I tune into that,
(13:13):
those times it really fires meup to where I want to help
others move beyond that samechallenge, because I know many
people are going through similarchallenges as I went through
feeling not enough, havingpeople speak over you, things
(13:36):
where they stick with you andyou can ruminate on them, and
they're so not the truth of whoyou are, they're not even close
to the truth.
You know, anything that's spokenover you that is not serving
(13:58):
you, that is lack in limitation,that is judgment and
projections.
We have to learn how to seethese things just for they are
and not absorb them into ourbeing and have them just leave
(14:25):
this imprint on everything thatwe do.
These things as simple as acomment or as an experience,
whether it is a very painful oneor whether it wasn't that
painful at the time, but maybenow it's gotten roots, it
(14:48):
doesn't even matter, and maybeit was years of people speaking
over you or maybe it was justone simple thing that happened,
but these things leave imprints.
You know, when I'm working withclients, one of the first
things that we do is healingwork.
(15:09):
So even if a client comes to meand we are working on their
vision and we are working onhelping make more money or have
clarity on a decision forward,or whatever it is, fill in the
blank, we're going to do healingat the beginning because I know
, if someone is coming to me,there's stuff to be done,
(15:31):
there's stuff to be let go of,there are fears, there is
worries, there's doubts, there'sthings to do, often with their
self-esteem, confidence levels,and when we go through the
process that I take my clientsthrough often we can a memory
(15:52):
will surface, and this memory isnothing huge.
I can't tell you how many timesa client will say I don't know
if this is even relevant, butthis is what's coming through
and if it is coming through,it's relevant, especially when
we're doing intuitive work.
(16:14):
We are working, when I'm workingwith clients, I'm doing
intuitive work, intuitivehealing, I'm working with my
guides.
These come up for a reason andoften it's just this thing that
people are like oh, this wasjust this insignificant thing.
But then, when we explore it alittle bit more, there's
(16:34):
emotions that come up right,whether that is grief or sadness
, frustration, anger, and thesethings that have happened leave
this mark and it's like an echothat just continues throughout
and it holds people back.
(16:56):
It holds people back fromtaking actions.
It holds people back fromputting out things that they
really want to put out becauseof fear of judgment, because of
fear of what other people willthink of them, of their work,
and it is a massive epidemic.
(17:18):
It really is, and one of thecomforting things.
I don't know if this is going tocomfort you or terrify you, but
across the board, we're allvery, very alike, especially if
you resonate with being a highachiever, someone who's driven,
a leader, you have a vision,you're ambitious.
(17:41):
It's just these same thingsthat get in the way of you
moving forward.
So, okay, what do you do withall this?
Great Lisa, what do I do withall this?
So, if you're resonating withthis, I want you to ask yourself
(18:02):
some questions.
It really involvesself-reflection and if you have
trouble with this, you can reachout, apply for a breakthrough
call.
We'll have a conversation, seeif coaching is right for you.
But it's really getting clearwhy am I doing this?
(18:25):
Why do I want my vision?
What is going on for me here?
Am I in a place where it'salmost like an emotional storm,
where there's just all thisdoubt and worry and uncertainty?
And it's gotten a momentum,it's gained a momentum to where
(18:48):
it's bigger than my why rightnow and this is why I feel kind
of stuck and unsure and a littlebit stagnant Then it's tuning
back.
Well, why?
What matters to me?
What actually gets me excitedwhen I think about it?
Is it helping a certain groupof people?
For me, anytime I hear anythingabout youth or adolescence even
(19:14):
though I'm not directing mypractice towards youth and
adolescence anytime I hear, itjust fires me up.
It fires me up.
I get really fired up and thenI get motivated to move forward.
Part of the work that I'm doingin my work now part of the
(19:37):
future.
My bigger plan is to bring inmore youth work.
Whether that's in a nonprofitspace or what that looks like,
I'm not 100% sure yet, but thatfires me up and it's like, yes,
this is why I got into this workin the first place is to impact
people, is to impact people whoare hurting, who have these
(20:05):
limitations that aren't actuallyreal limitations in the sense
of they're not movable, butthey're so real to the person
because they are things thathave been spoken over them, that
have happened to them memories,situations and these can be
(20:28):
really, really challenging torelease.
And it gets me fired up andthat's what you want to feel
when you are a leader, when youhave a vision, and it's firing
that back up to be able to moveyou forward beyond the doubts,
(20:54):
beyond the fear, because there'salways going to be if you're
growing, there's always going tobe fears, there's always going
to be doubts.
That's okay, that's a problem.
Sometimes we have thisexpectation that, you know, I
should have no fear, I shouldhave no doubt, or it should all
just be roses and buttercups allthe time and it's no fear and
(21:17):
doubt is fine.
What's not.
What you don't want to do ishave them stop you.
You don't want the fear to getin the way of you moving forward
into what the work is.
You came here to do so, askingyourself, getting real with
(21:42):
yourself, grabbing a pen,grabbing a journal, and start
some self-reflection of why,what is my, why, what is my why,
what gets you fired up?
Sometimes it's watching, youknow, a documentary, or watching
(22:04):
a few documentaries, orwatching a few movies and
allowing yourself, followingwhat your body is telling you.
You know where's your body.
You know my mother lovesenvironmental stuff.
She's huge on it, so that getsher fired up.
(22:25):
For me not so much.
That's not my purpose here.
That's not my path, at leastnot right now.
You know, when I watch, youknow certain things, that gets
me fired up.
Pay attention.
Pay attention to what your bodyis telling you.
(22:47):
And if you feel like you're in aplace where you're needing to
prove yourself and you're inthis kind of burnout loop where
you're giving, giving, giving,but you're not receiving back,
(23:08):
you're not feeling like you'rereally receiving, you're not
receiving from your achievements, you're not receiving from the
goals you're setting, you're notreceiving back, I want you to
look at your capacity to receive.
Are you open to receiving andwhen we are in a driving mode of
(23:31):
trying to prove ourselves,often we're not open to
receiving because we don't feelthat we're worthy enough.
And if we don't feel that we'reworthy enough, we're going to
have a real challenge receiving.
We're going to keep getting inour own way of receiving.
We're going to be blocking it.
We're going to be blocking themagic and the goodness that the
(23:55):
universe is trying to give us.
And we are worthy.
We don't need to prove, wedon't need to earn our worth.
We are 100% worthy as we areNow.
Whether we believe that or not,that's another story, but we are
, and the more we can lean intothis is my purpose and your
(24:18):
purpose, by the way, is just youshowing up authentically as you
.
Whatever capacity that is, doesit mean you?
It doesn't.
I'm not saying that it's yourcertain work that you're doing.
It's really just you showing upauthentically as you and you
know you're moving withauthenticity.
(24:40):
When you're feeling it right,when you feel excitement, when
you feel joy, when you feelthese emotions, this is a good
indication that you're on theright track, not saying that you
can't feel other things, likesadness and grief, and those are
all part of our journey, but ifyou're looking at your work
(25:02):
specifically, you know whenyou're feeling joy and when
you're feeling excitement.
You know you're on the rightpath and you are worthy of
receiving back all that you aregiving forward.
So I'm going to wrap it up.
(25:22):
I know we went on a little bitof tangents here, but this is a
challenging.
This can be challenging for alot of high achievers who have
trouble making space for rest,making space for things to just
(25:46):
enjoy themselves, for pleasure,for fun, and a lot of stress and
burnout can happen when we'rein this mode of trying to prove
our worth through working harderand through doing more and you
(26:07):
don't need to do anymore.
A big part of it is just youreceiving more, receiving what
is your capacity to receive.
Let me know if this resonates.
If you want more on this topic,I can go more granular, more
specific into certain parts ofthe content.
(26:31):
Send me a DM on Instagram,reach out if it resonates.
I would love to hear from youdirectly If it resonates and
hear any of your topicsuggestions.
Have a wonderful rest of yourday If you're still here.
I honor you.
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me.
I take your time seriously andI want to make sure that I'm
(26:56):
sharing value for you.
So thank you and, as always,let's stay connected.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, Connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, Instagram
(27:28):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
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