September 4, 2024 • 27 mins
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What if your relentless pursuit of success is actually holding you back? Join us on the Confident, Connected Leader Podcast as we uncover the hidden struggles faced by high achievers, entrepreneurs, and business leaders. Drawing from over 11 years of coaching experience, we pull back the curtain on the internal chaos, confusion, and self-doubt that can accompany outward success. Through real-life examples, we reveal how even the most accomplished individuals can fall prey to a loud inner critic and a persistent lack of fulfillment, and why these feelings are a universal human experience.
In this episode, we shift our focus from the urge to "fix" ourselves to understanding that we are not broken. By exploring the underlying beliefs and subconscious patterns that create resistance, we show you how to realign your thoughts and actions with your true aspirations.
Thanks for Listening! We appreciate you. Sending you love and gratitude.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you are a high achiever, entrepreneur,
professional business owner,business leader, who everyone
seems to come to for help andsupport because they know you're
incredibly smart, wise, youseem on the outside like you
have it all together and for themost part you do, but
(00:26):
internally there's still somechaos, some confusion, some
self-doubt, the impostersyndrome, all kind of moving
around doing its business, andeven though you have come so far
doing its business, and eventhough you have come so far, you
(00:48):
can't seem to close that gap,that last piece of the puzzle.
This is for you.
We're going to dive in to themind of the high achiever and
why it can be so challenging toclose that gap and to get to the
point in your life and in yourwork where you can go to bed and
(01:12):
you just feel like everythingis moving smoothly.
It's the way it should be, andyour only thoughts are around
the excitement of what you'recreating for, the excitement of
what's to come.
This is going to be a good one.
Stick around.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You're tuning into the Confident, connected Leader
Podcast, your premierdestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Welcome to the show.
For those new to the podcast, Icoach for a little well, not a
little over 10 years, almost 11years now.
Prior to that, I was acounselor in the school board,
working with youth and youngadults.
My specialty is working withhigh achievers leaders,
(02:23):
entrepreneurs is working withhigh achievers leaders,
entrepreneurs, professionals.
That many, many of theseindividuals are at the top of
their game, what it appears likefor the people looking in.
Now, when a lot of theseclients come to me, however,
they do not feel like they're atthe top of the game.
(02:45):
They feel like they've comepretty far and they've done a
lot of the work to get to wherethey are, but there's still
these last pieces that feel likeoh, this is just kind of
hanging around, whether it isanxieties about certain subjects
(03:08):
, whether it is overworking,still being addicted to work,
workaholism, feeling likethey're burning out.
But they can't slow down, theycan't shut their brain off,
they're waking up in a statethat's far less than ideal.
(03:28):
Sometimes they're feelingirritated when they're going to
bed or they're irritatedthroughout the day working with
their team or working in theirbusiness.
They just don't feel that stateof of relaxed joy, fulfillment,
pride and I mean pride in thegood way about what they've
(03:50):
already created and they'relooking for.
They're seeking out almost thisfeeling of relief from getting
in their own way, because theykeep hitting the same spot and
if they're making progress, theymake it, but often they hit
(04:13):
that same wall or they even goback a little bit and it's just
kind of this loop.
And what can happen when you'rein this loop is you go to a
book, or you seek out a podcast,or you even go to a convention
or a retreat, or maybe you buy aprogram or something like this,
(04:38):
and what happens a lot isbecause just to backtrack a
little bit I get privy to beingin the room with a lot of
individuals making a lot of bigmoves, not only in their own
business but in the world ingeneral.
(05:01):
It's interesting because manyyears ago, when I was first
starting out my business, Iwould see many of these people
and I would look up to them andI would almost be putting these
people on a pedestal Not almost,I was putting a lot of these
people on a pedestal.
And the funniest thing happenedat a certain point in my
(05:22):
business I started attracting alot of these same individuals
and I started to realize that,oh, it doesn't matter how much
outwardly success a person hasachieved, they can still and
they do still have the sameinternal challenges around
(05:45):
self-doubt, of having a veryloud inner critic, of appearing
very confident, self-assured andlike they've done all the
self-growth work on the planet.
But they still have thesechallenges.
And I realized that it's ahuman thing and there's nothing.
(06:10):
This is something I need you tolisten to there is nothing to
fix.
Going back to what I was sayinga few minutes ago, what can
happen is and this is especiallytrue for the high achiever that
wants to fix things, that wantsto fix problems because many of
us are problem solvers is goingto the next thing oh, I need
(06:32):
this to fix this.
Okay, if I just fix this,everything will be good.
If I just do this, everythingwill be good.
And it's always this seekingthat fix out.
I need you to stop trying tofix what is going on inside of
you, Because when we have thementalities that something needs
(06:54):
to be fixed, what we're sayingis that something is broken and
you are not broken.
Right, we fix what is brokenand you are not broken.
Right, we fix what is broken,you are not broken.
So that is not the answer thatwe need, and I hope this is a
breakthrough for someone thatseems to keep going to certain
(07:15):
things or trying to read thebook or do this or do that, and
there's still the samechallenges.
It's because we need to look atit with a new lens.
Same challenges.
It's because we need to look atit with a new lens and another
perspective shift I want you toreally grasp is understanding
that your problem is no biggerthan someone else's problem.
(07:37):
This is a perspective, orrather a belief system that a
lot of people can have, and it'sa huge hindrance, and I can
tell you that I've worked againwith just phenomenal people and,
across the board, thechallenges are pretty much the
(07:59):
same.
There is no person I've workedwith in almost 11 years that is
so much, quote unquote worsethan the next person.
Whatever you're going through,your challenge can be released.
We can see it in a new way.
(08:20):
We can make changes and get theresults, or rather have the
experience that we want, thatwe're desiring.
So you are not somehow and I'lluse the words unfixable because
, again, we're not broken.
(08:41):
There's nothing to fix.
So what do we do with this?
So there's nothing to fix.
So, Lisa, you're telling methere's nothing to fix.
I'm not broken.
Okay, but I still have thesesame challenges.
So what do I do?
I need you to understand thatthere's no magic answer.
(09:02):
There's no magic key, magicanswer.
There's no magic key.
There's no code to crack andall the yada yada stuff that we
see online, all the marketingand stuff to get you to buy.
The next thing.
It's understanding that if youhave these challenges, like
(09:23):
anxieties, or you're aworkaholic and can't seem to
slow down, or you're trying toget to a certain point in your
business or your career and youjust can't seem to get there, or
maybe there's something thatyou want to do, there's
something that you want to try,there's something that you want
to put out in the world, maybeit's just a life experience.
(09:46):
You want to have a differenthouse, maybe you want to make a
move, maybe you want deeper,more meaningful relationships or
a romantic partner, a spouse,and you just can't seem to get
there.
If this is the case, there arepatterns and beliefs that are
(10:07):
standing in the way.
They are not roadblocks.
They are simply patterns andbehaviors and beliefs that are
creating the resistance betweenwhere you are and where you want
to be.
And when there's resistancepresence, you're always going to
(10:31):
feel like it's out of reach orit's just at arm's reach, but
you can't seem to grasp it.
You're reaching out and you cansee it and you can smell it,
and you can feel it and you'relike, oh my God, it's right
there, but I can't seem to grabit.
It's because there isresistance there.
(10:51):
There is something, some beliefthat you have that is not in
alignment with the goal that youare trying to achieve.
So let's say that you are.
I'm going to use romanticrelationships, because a lot of
people can relate to romanticrelationships.
(11:12):
So let's say that you want toget married to your dream person
and you desperately want tohave that relationship, a
meaningful relationship, onethat helps you grow, one that
(11:32):
you just can enjoy and it'sserving you.
It's serving your purpose, it'sserving your vision, but it
just always seems out of reach.
There's a belief that is not inalignment with that vision, and
that belief could be.
I'll give you some beliefs thatare common in the work that I
(11:55):
do, that I hear often, or that,when we dig in, are discovered.
So you may have a belief.
Let's say that you're a highachiever and you're very busy
and one of your biggestpriorities is your contribution
and growing your body of work inthe world, but you believe that
, even though you want one, eventhough you want one, you
(12:18):
believe that having apartnership, a deep, committed
partnership, or spouse ormarriage, is going to take away
from you doing the work in theworld, you doing your work,
you're going to be too busy orit's going to take too many of
your resources.
And PS, this is not always aconscious belief.
(12:43):
This belief can be operatingand often is operating below the
surface.
It's often operating in thesubconscious.
So if you have a belief likeit's gonna take away from your
business, you are not going toput your everything into finding
a partnership, even thoughyou're telling yourself you want
(13:04):
one, you want one, yeah, yeah.
You can even be going on datesand putting yourself out there,
but guaranteed you haven't saidto yourself this is my end goal,
this is what I'm going for andthat's it.
No ifs and buts are about it.
(13:25):
There's a part of you that hasone foot out.
Another belief that I hear oftenif you have simply a belief
that you are going to be, thatperson is gonna be unfaithful.
If you believe that peoplecannot be faithful maybe you saw
that growing up, maybe youexperienced that at some point
in your life and now you believeit again there's a part of you
(13:46):
operating that's going to stopyou from moving fully in the
direction of finding, meeting,creating that relationship.
The same goes for business.
If you have big goals, butthere's a part of you that
(14:07):
believes if you reach a certainpoint in your business or your
career, you are going to have tosacrifice something that's
meaningful for you, you willstop yourself, often
subconsciously, from achievingthat goal.
And this is where it getstricky, because you can have the
(14:29):
goal and you can be tellingyourself this is what I want,
this is what I want, this iswhat I want.
But there's still that otherpart of you that's operating,
that's saying no, we don't, no,we don't.
And if you've ever heard metalk about the inner saboteur,
this is what the inner saboteurwill do.
A lot of times people thinksabotage is some big hot mess of
(14:53):
an experience in your lifewhere someone just completely
blows up their life.
Sure, that can be a form ofsabotage, but it's also very
quiet.
It's often goes almostunnoticeable and shows up in
just getting to a certain pointbut not being able to cross the
(15:14):
finish line.
So I want you to understandsomething that it's not
complicated Again.
There's no code to crack here.
We stop ourselves from gettingto a certain point and we will
continue to loop around patternsand behaviors that do not serve
(15:39):
us because, in actuality,there's a part of it, part of
that pattern that is serving usand if we don't feel 100% worthy
of it or safe, we will not getto the end goal that we are
(16:01):
telling ourselves we want to getto.
So I'm going to repeat that Ifwe have a belief that we are not
worthy or we do not feel safe,do not feel safe, we will not
(16:28):
commit fully to reaching thatend goal.
So anytime that I am workingwith a client, a client comes to
me and they have certain goalsthat they want to reach, even if
the goal is simply to stopgetting in their own way, to
stop feeling like they are, youknow, showing up in a certain
way.
Everyone thinks they have acertain image, but inside they
are filled with anxiety, theyare filled with insecurities,
(16:52):
they are doubting themselves,they are doubting their path,
they are just in a a not a calmplace where they can just.
It's almost like you know, whenI think of of that feeling of
being just calm and fulfilledand happy and joyous, it's like
(17:14):
those first few seconds ofsinking into a glorious hot tub,
overlooking the mountains, andit's just this amazing,
incredible feeling.
So sometimes their goal issimply that they want to feel
like that, that they're so sickand tired of not feeling like
that and always feeling likethat and always feeling like
(17:37):
they're just on this hamsterwheel.
Even though they've reachedmany of the goals, they don't
feel like they're ever at thatplace where they can just take a
breather and enjoy and relax.
There's a part of you, if you'reresonating with that and you're
putting up your hand and you'relike, yes, yes, yes, there's a
(17:59):
part of you that either doesn'tfeel worthy or you don't feel
safe to achieve that.
There's something that isgetting in the way and that's
why you don't want to keep goingto these quick fixes or, you
know, reading the next book ordoing the next retreat.
(18:20):
You really just wanna get clearon what is gonna help me to
feel safe.
What is gonna help me to feelsafe to close this gap?
What do I need to believe aboutmyself?
What do I need to believe aboutmyself?
(18:41):
What do I need to believe aboutthe world?
What do I need to believe aboutthe work I am bringing into
this world?
Everything is a reflection ofour beliefs.
Everything is a reflection ofwhat we deem worthy of us.
When you work on your worthinessand your safety in this world
(19:05):
and when I say safety, I'mtalking about feeling safe to
show up as you are, feeling safeto be in the world financially.
That you are safe and supportedand you always will be safe and
supported.
That you don't have to overwork.
(19:29):
You don't have to sacrificeyour values.
Your values.
You don't have to put on thisshow or hide the real you from
coming out.
You don't have to play a gamethat you think you should be
(19:49):
playing.
These are the beliefs I needget very clear on.
What do you need to believeinstead?
And part of shifting our beliefsone, it's doing the work with
(20:09):
neuroplasticity to change thesebeliefs.
I'm not gonna go into too muchof neuroplasticity on this
episode.
I have talked about it beforebut you have to understand.
It's really helpful tounderstand how the brain works
and why we get stuck in loops.
The brain's job is to beefficient, so it will hang on to
(20:32):
these loops even if they're notserving us.
I teach a process on how torewire these beliefs that are no
longer serving you in myprograms.
If you're listening to this andyou're a client, go back to the
programs and practice, theframework to change these.
(20:53):
Often, when I have someone I'veworked with in the past and
they come back and let's saythey're working towards new
goals and they feel a little bitstuck, you go back to the
fundamentals.
We go back to the fundamentals.
We're not looking for new fixesand this and that these are
fundamental pieces of changingyour reality, of changing your
(21:18):
life, of changing the resultsthat you're experiencing.
So changing it, doing the work,doing the inner work and also
aligning our actions.
So if we're going to tellourselves that we believe that
we are safe, we have to act likewe know.
(21:40):
That is true.
We can't tell ourselves thatone story and act in a different
way.
It doesn't work like that andthis takes courage.
This takes, sometimes, radicalcourage to act in a new way, to
(22:01):
take new, bold actions towardsyour goals.
You can't keep doing the samethings and expecting different
results.
I hope this is giving you someideas of where you want to focus
.
We are moving towards the endof the year.
A lot of people are ramping upa lot of business leaders, a lot
(22:24):
of entrepreneurs.
A lot of people are alreadythinking about 2025, where they
want to be.
And I want to ask yourself, Iwant you to ask yourself, what
change do I need to make,honestly, that is going to align
me with the goals I need to getto?
(22:45):
And maybe it's time to getsupport to help you.
Maybe it's time to get somehelp with the challenges that
you've already come so far.
But it's that last piece, andit's often those last pieces
that are hanging on for dearlife, because they're the parts
(23:11):
of us that we don't always liketo look at.
And, as a high achiever, I cansay that we often use our work
and even things that are goodfor us, like working out,
training, doing things that aregood for us but we often use
(23:32):
that as a distraction fromwhat's actually going to make
the difference, from what'sactually going to make the
difference.
And that is going in and seeingwhat is that belief that we
need to instill and what is thatnext action we need to take?
And I promise you I've donethis multiple times in my life.
(23:56):
Often I've had to get to thepoint where I was so sick and
tired of what I was living thatI needed to kind of hit that
rock bottom to make a change.
I'm not saying that you need tohit a rock bottom In fact I
don't want you to.
But when I hit that rock bottom,I made and again I did this
(24:16):
multiple times I made and againI did this multiple times a
radical shift in my reality.
I mean, I'm talking within days.
I was living a differentreality.
Within weeks it was radicallydifferent and within months I
wasn't even the same personanymore and it was a wild
(24:37):
improvement in my experience.
But what I had to do wascompletely shift my beliefs, how
I saw myself, what I believedabout myself, what I believed
about the world.
I had to commit fully to myvision, to what I was telling
myself I wanted, and I had toalign everything with that my
(25:01):
actions, my beliefs.
When I woke up, when I went tobed, I could not carry anything
from the old way with me.
It all had to disintegrate,basically, and I transformed my
life.
(25:21):
And maybe you're not at theplace where you need to
transform your life, but maybeyou want to just close the gap.
This is the way to do it.
This is the way to do it Changethe beliefs, change the
patterns.
If you would like support,don't wait.
I mean support with me.
(25:42):
Don't wait.
Book your breakthrough call,let's have a conversation.
As we near the end of the year,things do pick up.
I like to think of September,similar energy to New Year's Eve
.
New Year's or New Year's, Ishould say is always a very busy
time for people wantingtransformation and to change
(26:03):
things up.
They lean into that energy ofgetting more serious about their
goals, about their vision.
So things do get busier.
So if you would like to chatwith me, learn about how I can
help you close that gap with somuch more ease and efficiency,
(26:24):
book your breakthrough call andlet's have a conversation, as
always.
I appreciate you.
Thank you for listening.
I honor you.
If you have a question, pleasehead over to the podcast website
.
You can find that in myInstagram bio and hit the link
that says send me a text.
(26:44):
Send me a text, send me yourquestion, and if I feel like the
question is going to resonatewith a lot of other listeners, I
will answer it on a podcast.
And, as always, let's stayconnected.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, instagram
(27:24):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
If you are a high achiever, entrepreneur,
professional business owner,business leader, who everyone
seems to come to for help andsupport because they know you're
incredibly smart, wise, youseem on the outside like you
have it all together and for themost part you do, but
(00:26):
internally there's still somechaos, some confusion, some
self-doubt, the impostersyndrome, all kind of moving
around doing its business, andeven though you have come so far
doing its business, and eventhough you have come so far, you
(00:48):
can't seem to close that gap,that last piece of the puzzle.
This is for you.
We're going to dive in to themind of the high achiever and
why it can be so challenging toclose that gap and to get to the
point in your life and in yourwork where you can go to bed and
(01:12):
you just feel like everythingis moving smoothly.
It's the way it should be, andyour only thoughts are around
the excitement of what you'recreating for, the excitement of
what's to come.
This is going to be a good one.
Stick around.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
You're tuning into the Confident, connected Leader
Podcast, your premierdestination for breaking through
your current professionalbarriers.
Your coach and host, lisa Jeffs, will help you transcend
limitations and achieve newlevels of professional success
beyond self-doubt, sabotage andburnout.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Welcome to the show.
For those new to the podcast, Icoach for a little well, not a
little over 10 years, almost 11years now.
Prior to that, I was acounselor in the school board,
working with youth and youngadults.
My specialty is working withhigh achievers leaders,
(02:23):
entrepreneurs is working withhigh achievers leaders,
entrepreneurs, professionals.
That many, many of theseindividuals are at the top of
their game, what it appears likefor the people looking in.
Now, when a lot of theseclients come to me, however,
they do not feel like they're atthe top of the game.
(02:45):
They feel like they've comepretty far and they've done a
lot of the work to get to wherethey are, but there's still
these last pieces that feel likeoh, this is just kind of
hanging around, whether it isanxieties about certain subjects
(03:08):
, whether it is overworking,still being addicted to work,
workaholism, feeling likethey're burning out.
But they can't slow down, theycan't shut their brain off,
they're waking up in a statethat's far less than ideal.
(03:28):
Sometimes they're feelingirritated when they're going to
bed or they're irritatedthroughout the day working with
their team or working in theirbusiness.
They just don't feel that stateof of relaxed joy, fulfillment,
pride and I mean pride in thegood way about what they've
(03:50):
already created and they'relooking for.
They're seeking out almost thisfeeling of relief from getting
in their own way, because theykeep hitting the same spot and
if they're making progress, theymake it, but often they hit
(04:13):
that same wall or they even goback a little bit and it's just
kind of this loop.
And what can happen when you'rein this loop is you go to a
book, or you seek out a podcast,or you even go to a convention
or a retreat, or maybe you buy aprogram or something like this,
(04:38):
and what happens a lot isbecause just to backtrack a
little bit I get privy to beingin the room with a lot of
individuals making a lot of bigmoves, not only in their own
business but in the world ingeneral.
(05:01):
It's interesting because manyyears ago, when I was first
starting out my business, Iwould see many of these people
and I would look up to them andI would almost be putting these
people on a pedestal Not almost,I was putting a lot of these
people on a pedestal.
And the funniest thing happenedat a certain point in my
(05:22):
business I started attracting alot of these same individuals
and I started to realize that,oh, it doesn't matter how much
outwardly success a person hasachieved, they can still and
they do still have the sameinternal challenges around
(05:45):
self-doubt, of having a veryloud inner critic, of appearing
very confident, self-assured andlike they've done all the
self-growth work on the planet.
But they still have thesechallenges.
And I realized that it's ahuman thing and there's nothing.
(06:10):
This is something I need you tolisten to there is nothing to
fix.
Going back to what I was sayinga few minutes ago, what can
happen is and this is especiallytrue for the high achiever that
wants to fix things, that wantsto fix problems because many of
us are problem solvers is goingto the next thing oh, I need
(06:32):
this to fix this.
Okay, if I just fix this,everything will be good.
If I just do this, everythingwill be good.
And it's always this seekingthat fix out.
I need you to stop trying tofix what is going on inside of
you, Because when we have thementalities that something needs
(06:54):
to be fixed, what we're sayingis that something is broken and
you are not broken.
Right, we fix what is brokenand you are not broken.
Right, we fix what is broken,you are not broken.
So that is not the answer thatwe need, and I hope this is a
breakthrough for someone thatseems to keep going to certain
(07:15):
things or trying to read thebook or do this or do that, and
there's still the samechallenges.
It's because we need to look atit with a new lens.
Same challenges.
It's because we need to look atit with a new lens and another
perspective shift I want you toreally grasp is understanding
that your problem is no biggerthan someone else's problem.
(07:37):
This is a perspective, orrather a belief system that a
lot of people can have, and it'sa huge hindrance, and I can
tell you that I've worked againwith just phenomenal people and,
across the board, thechallenges are pretty much the
(07:59):
same.
There is no person I've workedwith in almost 11 years that is
so much, quote unquote worsethan the next person.
Whatever you're going through,your challenge can be released.
We can see it in a new way.
(08:20):
We can make changes and get theresults, or rather have the
experience that we want, thatwe're desiring.
So you are not somehow and I'lluse the words unfixable because
, again, we're not broken.
(08:41):
There's nothing to fix.
So what do we do with this?
So there's nothing to fix.
So, Lisa, you're telling methere's nothing to fix.
I'm not broken.
Okay, but I still have thesesame challenges.
So what do I do?
I need you to understand thatthere's no magic answer.
(09:02):
There's no magic key, magicanswer.
There's no magic key.
There's no code to crack andall the yada yada stuff that we
see online, all the marketingand stuff to get you to buy.
The next thing.
It's understanding that if youhave these challenges, like
(09:23):
anxieties, or you're aworkaholic and can't seem to
slow down, or you're trying toget to a certain point in your
business or your career and youjust can't seem to get there, or
maybe there's something thatyou want to do, there's
something that you want to try,there's something that you want
to put out in the world, maybeit's just a life experience.
(09:46):
You want to have a differenthouse, maybe you want to make a
move, maybe you want deeper,more meaningful relationships or
a romantic partner, a spouse,and you just can't seem to get
there.
If this is the case, there arepatterns and beliefs that are
(10:07):
standing in the way.
They are not roadblocks.
They are simply patterns andbehaviors and beliefs that are
creating the resistance betweenwhere you are and where you want
to be.
And when there's resistancepresence, you're always going to
(10:31):
feel like it's out of reach orit's just at arm's reach, but
you can't seem to grasp it.
You're reaching out and you cansee it and you can smell it,
and you can feel it and you'relike, oh my God, it's right
there, but I can't seem to grabit.
It's because there isresistance there.
(10:51):
There is something, some beliefthat you have that is not in
alignment with the goal that youare trying to achieve.
So let's say that you are.
I'm going to use romanticrelationships, because a lot of
people can relate to romanticrelationships.
(11:12):
So let's say that you want toget married to your dream person
and you desperately want tohave that relationship, a
meaningful relationship, onethat helps you grow, one that
(11:32):
you just can enjoy and it'sserving you.
It's serving your purpose, it'sserving your vision, but it
just always seems out of reach.
There's a belief that is not inalignment with that vision, and
that belief could be.
I'll give you some beliefs thatare common in the work that I
(11:55):
do, that I hear often, or that,when we dig in, are discovered.
So you may have a belief.
Let's say that you're a highachiever and you're very busy
and one of your biggestpriorities is your contribution
and growing your body of work inthe world, but you believe that
, even though you want one, eventhough you want one, you
(12:18):
believe that having apartnership, a deep, committed
partnership, or spouse ormarriage, is going to take away
from you doing the work in theworld, you doing your work,
you're going to be too busy orit's going to take too many of
your resources.
And PS, this is not always aconscious belief.
(12:43):
This belief can be operatingand often is operating below the
surface.
It's often operating in thesubconscious.
So if you have a belief likeit's gonna take away from your
business, you are not going toput your everything into finding
a partnership, even thoughyou're telling yourself you want
(13:04):
one, you want one, yeah, yeah.
You can even be going on datesand putting yourself out there,
but guaranteed you haven't saidto yourself this is my end goal,
this is what I'm going for andthat's it.
No ifs and buts are about it.
(13:25):
There's a part of you that hasone foot out.
Another belief that I hear oftenif you have simply a belief
that you are going to be, thatperson is gonna be unfaithful.
If you believe that peoplecannot be faithful maybe you saw
that growing up, maybe youexperienced that at some point
in your life and now you believeit again there's a part of you
(13:46):
operating that's going to stopyou from moving fully in the
direction of finding, meeting,creating that relationship.
The same goes for business.
If you have big goals, butthere's a part of you that
(14:07):
believes if you reach a certainpoint in your business or your
career, you are going to have tosacrifice something that's
meaningful for you, you willstop yourself, often
subconsciously, from achievingthat goal.
And this is where it getstricky, because you can have the
(14:29):
goal and you can be tellingyourself this is what I want,
this is what I want, this iswhat I want.
But there's still that otherpart of you that's operating,
that's saying no, we don't, no,we don't.
And if you've ever heard metalk about the inner saboteur,
this is what the inner saboteurwill do.
A lot of times people thinksabotage is some big hot mess of
(14:53):
an experience in your lifewhere someone just completely
blows up their life.
Sure, that can be a form ofsabotage, but it's also very
quiet.
It's often goes almostunnoticeable and shows up in
just getting to a certain pointbut not being able to cross the
(15:14):
finish line.
So I want you to understandsomething that it's not
complicated Again.
There's no code to crack here.
We stop ourselves from gettingto a certain point and we will
continue to loop around patternsand behaviors that do not serve
(15:39):
us because, in actuality,there's a part of it, part of
that pattern that is serving usand if we don't feel 100% worthy
of it or safe, we will not getto the end goal that we are
(16:01):
telling ourselves we want to getto.
So I'm going to repeat that Ifwe have a belief that we are not
worthy or we do not feel safe,do not feel safe, we will not
(16:28):
commit fully to reaching thatend goal.
So anytime that I am workingwith a client, a client comes to
me and they have certain goalsthat they want to reach, even if
the goal is simply to stopgetting in their own way, to
stop feeling like they are, youknow, showing up in a certain
way.
Everyone thinks they have acertain image, but inside they
are filled with anxiety, theyare filled with insecurities,
(16:52):
they are doubting themselves,they are doubting their path,
they are just in a a not a calmplace where they can just.
It's almost like you know, whenI think of of that feeling of
being just calm and fulfilledand happy and joyous, it's like
(17:14):
those first few seconds ofsinking into a glorious hot tub,
overlooking the mountains, andit's just this amazing,
incredible feeling.
So sometimes their goal issimply that they want to feel
like that, that they're so sickand tired of not feeling like
that and always feeling likethat and always feeling like
(17:37):
they're just on this hamsterwheel.
Even though they've reachedmany of the goals, they don't
feel like they're ever at thatplace where they can just take a
breather and enjoy and relax.
There's a part of you, if you'reresonating with that and you're
putting up your hand and you'relike, yes, yes, yes, there's a
(17:59):
part of you that either doesn'tfeel worthy or you don't feel
safe to achieve that.
There's something that isgetting in the way and that's
why you don't want to keep goingto these quick fixes or, you
know, reading the next book ordoing the next retreat.
(18:20):
You really just wanna get clearon what is gonna help me to
feel safe.
What is gonna help me to feelsafe to close this gap?
What do I need to believe aboutmyself?
What do I need to believe aboutmyself?
(18:41):
What do I need to believe aboutthe world?
What do I need to believe aboutthe work I am bringing into
this world?
Everything is a reflection ofour beliefs.
Everything is a reflection ofwhat we deem worthy of us.
When you work on your worthinessand your safety in this world
(19:05):
and when I say safety, I'mtalking about feeling safe to
show up as you are, feeling safeto be in the world financially.
That you are safe and supportedand you always will be safe and
supported.
That you don't have to overwork.
(19:29):
You don't have to sacrificeyour values.
Your values.
You don't have to put on thisshow or hide the real you from
coming out.
You don't have to play a gamethat you think you should be
(19:49):
playing.
These are the beliefs I needget very clear on.
What do you need to believeinstead?
And part of shifting our beliefsone, it's doing the work with
(20:09):
neuroplasticity to change thesebeliefs.
I'm not gonna go into too muchof neuroplasticity on this
episode.
I have talked about it beforebut you have to understand.
It's really helpful tounderstand how the brain works
and why we get stuck in loops.
The brain's job is to beefficient, so it will hang on to
(20:32):
these loops even if they're notserving us.
I teach a process on how torewire these beliefs that are no
longer serving you in myprograms.
If you're listening to this andyou're a client, go back to the
programs and practice, theframework to change these.
(20:53):
Often, when I have someone I'veworked with in the past and
they come back and let's saythey're working towards new
goals and they feel a little bitstuck, you go back to the
fundamentals.
We go back to the fundamentals.
We're not looking for new fixesand this and that these are
fundamental pieces of changingyour reality, of changing your
(21:18):
life, of changing the resultsthat you're experiencing.
So changing it, doing the work,doing the inner work and also
aligning our actions.
So if we're going to tellourselves that we believe that
we are safe, we have to act likewe know.
(21:40):
That is true.
We can't tell ourselves thatone story and act in a different
way.
It doesn't work like that andthis takes courage.
This takes, sometimes, radicalcourage to act in a new way, to
(22:01):
take new, bold actions towardsyour goals.
You can't keep doing the samethings and expecting different
results.
I hope this is giving you someideas of where you want to focus
.
We are moving towards the endof the year.
A lot of people are ramping upa lot of business leaders, a lot
(22:24):
of entrepreneurs.
A lot of people are alreadythinking about 2025, where they
want to be.
And I want to ask yourself, Iwant you to ask yourself, what
change do I need to make,honestly, that is going to align
me with the goals I need to getto?
(22:45):
And maybe it's time to getsupport to help you.
Maybe it's time to get somehelp with the challenges that
you've already come so far.
But it's that last piece, andit's often those last pieces
that are hanging on for dearlife, because they're the parts
(23:11):
of us that we don't always liketo look at.
And, as a high achiever, I cansay that we often use our work
and even things that are goodfor us, like working out,
training, doing things that aregood for us but we often use
(23:32):
that as a distraction fromwhat's actually going to make
the difference, from what'sactually going to make the
difference.
And that is going in and seeingwhat is that belief that we
need to instill and what is thatnext action we need to take?
And I promise you I've donethis multiple times in my life.
(23:56):
Often I've had to get to thepoint where I was so sick and
tired of what I was living thatI needed to kind of hit that
rock bottom to make a change.
I'm not saying that you need tohit a rock bottom In fact I
don't want you to.
But when I hit that rock bottom,I made and again I did this
(24:16):
multiple times I made and againI did this multiple times a
radical shift in my reality.
I mean, I'm talking within days.
I was living a differentreality.
Within weeks it was radicallydifferent and within months I
wasn't even the same personanymore and it was a wild
(24:37):
improvement in my experience.
But what I had to do wascompletely shift my beliefs, how
I saw myself, what I believedabout myself, what I believed
about the world.
I had to commit fully to myvision, to what I was telling
myself I wanted, and I had toalign everything with that my
(25:01):
actions, my beliefs.
When I woke up, when I went tobed, I could not carry anything
from the old way with me.
It all had to disintegrate,basically, and I transformed my
life.
(25:21):
And maybe you're not at theplace where you need to
transform your life, but maybeyou want to just close the gap.
This is the way to do it.
This is the way to do it Changethe beliefs, change the
patterns.
If you would like support,don't wait.
I mean support with me.
(25:42):
Don't wait.
Book your breakthrough call,let's have a conversation.
As we near the end of the year,things do pick up.
I like to think of September,similar energy to New Year's Eve
.
New Year's or New Year's, Ishould say is always a very busy
time for people wantingtransformation and to change
(26:03):
things up.
They lean into that energy ofgetting more serious about their
goals, about their vision.
So things do get busier.
So if you would like to chatwith me, learn about how I can
help you close that gap with somuch more ease and efficiency,
(26:24):
book your breakthrough call andlet's have a conversation, as
always.
I appreciate you.
Thank you for listening.
I honor you.
If you have a question, pleasehead over to the podcast website
.
You can find that in myInstagram bio and hit the link
that says send me a text.
(26:44):
Send me a text, send me yourquestion, and if I feel like the
question is going to resonatewith a lot of other listeners, I
will answer it on a podcast.
And, as always, let's stayconnected.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Thank you for tuning into the Confident, connected
Leader podcast.
Lisa Jeffs is committed tohelping you break through
barriers and climb to newprofessional heights.
If today's episode inspired you, we'd be honored if you could
subscribe, rate and leave areview To stay updated with
practical tips and insights,follow us on LinkedIn, instagram
(27:24):
or Facebook.
You'll find all relevant links,including those for our
complimentary gifts andtrainings, in the show notes.
Until our next episode, embraceyour confidence and stay
connected.
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