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August 12, 2025 โ€ข 17 mins

That is a question that most musicians have asked themselves. Today we tackle that question and the idea of "enough."


This episode has an accompanying blog post. Click here to read.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.

(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals.
So come with me as we go onthis journey together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.
Hello, hello, hello and welcomeback to another episode of the

(00:57):
confident musicianing podcast.
I think this is a really, reallygood topic for this episode.
Um, I have a meaning to kind oftalk about this and I think
it's really important to talkabout.
I know at the moment when thisepisode comes out, it's kind of
towards the end of the year andwe're starting or the end of the
summer and we're starting tokind of think about getting back
to if we're in school, gettingback to school or whatever we're

(01:18):
doing.
But I think this is a reallykind of important thing to think
about, especially when we lookback on our summers.
So today we're going to betalking about feeling like you
aren't doing enough in thesummer, or maybe feeling like
you don't really know what to dowith your summer.
Musically, I think this is aproblem or a thing, a feeling

(01:39):
that we all get at some point usfeeling like we are not doing
enough in the summer and so Ithought why not talk about it?
But before we talk about it,let's do a little bit of the
life update part of the episode.
This is a new thing that I'veadded in to the episodes where I
just share a teensy littlething about my life, a new thing
that's been happening that Iwant to share with you and this

(02:02):
week it's not that teensy, it'squite a big thing and that is
that I have just finishedperforming in the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival.
What I like can't even believethat, but I was in a youth
orchestra and we performed twoconcerts in the Edinburgh Fringe

(02:23):
and we played Holst's Planetsand I was on Cor Anglais.
We also played some otherpieces.
We did what we did in terms oflike the woodwinds, so I played
the planets and then I alsoplayed another piece by Frank
Kelly, so it was kind of more ofa band piece, but it was so
much fun and so interesting.

(02:44):
There were, like otherinstruments that you might not
necessarily get in like a bandpiece, but it was so much fun
and so interesting.
There were like other uminstruments that you might not
necessarily get in like a bandpiece.
There was an organ, um, and itwas just so much fun.
And then we played hosts,planets, full orchestra, all of
the planets, straight through.
Um, there was, there's a choirin Neptune, so there was a choir
, um, it was just such a surrealexperience.

(03:06):
We did kind of an intensive fora week.
So for a week I was on thetrain to Edinburgh every single
day, waking up super early,getting back super late, being
extremely exhausted but havingso much fun.
And so we did a week intensiveand then we did the concert.
And another thing we did in theintensive the day before we did

(03:27):
the concert there was a daywhere the conductor wasn't able
to make it, and so what they didinstead was we did a day where
we learned the Star Wars suite,so like the original music to
Star Wars and kind of like thehighlights of it, and we learned
that, and we learned it in aday and we did the concert that

(03:48):
night and honestly, it was soshocking and surprising and in
such a good way kind of just howhow much we we focused and how
much we did put it togetherbecause at the end of the day it
was truly magical, like it wasso so much fun to kind of just
really focus on one thing fromthe beginning of the day to the

(04:09):
end and it was so much fun.
So, yeah, it was so good.
And then we did the host twoshows of it and that was truly
magical.
Honestly, it was crazy becausewe were in church, we did it in
in a church and, um, theacoustic was so boomy and so

(04:29):
amazing and you know, it wasjust like absolutely magical to
be inside of it.
I was.
It was just so much fun.
So that is kind of the um, thelife update part.
I am really grateful to be ableto do that and, yeah, it was so
much fun and I I'm enjoyingtelling you about it because it

(04:52):
was the best.
Okay, let's get into the actualkind of content bit of the
episode, what the episode isactually about, what you read on
the title when you clicked onthis episode and that is feeling
like you aren't doing enough insummer and not really knowing
what to do with your summer.
Musically, I felt this.

(05:13):
I'm guessing you felt this ifyou clicked on it.
We have all felt this.
It's a common experience.
I think that's the first thingto understand.
It's a common experience.
It's not just you.
Everyone feels this at somepoint.
I think it's worse when you seeother people's Instagram
pictures of their eitherholidays or their music retreats

(05:34):
.
Both can be quite difficult ifyou're not doing those things.
You know, when you go onInstagram and you see your
friends or maybe other people,like oh my gosh, I went to Italy
this summer, or I went to Idon't know Germany or the
Bahamas, or I don't knowwherever, wherever people go, um

(05:56):
, or even like something maybenot, you know, maybe like I mean
, for me, I live in the UK, somaybe in the same country, but
no matter what, if they went onholiday and there's cute
pictures on the internet, wekind of struggled to to not
compare ourselves to that,because it's like oh my gosh, I
look like they're having so muchfun, but in reality, you don't

(06:17):
know the entire story, right,you don't know the entire
situation.
You just see pictures of it.
Those are highlights, you know.
You don't know what happenedbefore that photo was taken, you
don't know what happened after.
You know, and I feel like socialmedia can be such a highlight
reel and that's why I think it'sso important for me, at least
on my social media, to share,kind of, the lows of being a

(06:38):
musician as well as the highs.
But social media is a highlightreel and as well, you know, if
we think about music retreats ormusic courses, like I just did
a music course and I played inthe fringe, you, you know, but I
have people on my feed who are,you know, just went to like
Germany and played in concertsin Germany, or, you know, did

(06:59):
other things, or see, like maybethey saw really big orchestras,
like really you know famousorchestras or whatever it is,
and's like, oh gosh, you know Ishould be doing that right.
That's just, that's just thefeeling of comparison.
Or even if someone puts on onthe internet about their

(07:23):
practicing, a practice photo,maybe while you're on the couch,
you know, you're just on thecouch just scrolling social
media and there's someone who'sjust put on their story and
they're in a practice room andthey're they're, they look like
you know they're really focusingand you're like, oh, I should
be practicing.
That is tricky as well.
And you just sit at home andyou wonder, am I doing enough?

(07:47):
Am I doing enough?
And this summer I have felt thisway in some capacity as well.
I remember at the beginning ofthe summer I had a plan I was
going to wake up early everymorning and study theory and
practice and make reads and domore for the podcast and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Like I had all of these ideasand I was so excited.

(08:08):
And then I realized at thatpoint at the beginning of the
summer I had just finished afinal recital that I was being
graded on and a practice or nota practice, an exam, reset right
that I was so stressed about.
And I realized I was soexhausted.
I was just exhausted.
I needed that time to rest.

(08:28):
I had no desire to play theoboe, I had no desire to sit in
a practice room and focus andfocus and focus on rep or
whatever it is, and I had nodesire to sit and study theory
because I was so exhausted and Ihad to kind of create that
shift and be like, oh, you know,I can rest, it's summer, I can

(08:52):
rest.
And yes, I might see on people'shighlight reels that they are
doing this, that and the other,but maybe they also don't post
if they rest.
Do you know what I mean?
How many?
How many?
Let's?
Okay, let's be honest, let'sjust do a little full experiment
, if you can think about it.
How many you know posts haveyou seen in the past week of
people being like today I sat onthe couch because I'm so tired,

(09:16):
you know?
Or today I did not feel likepracticing, or today, you know,
people don't tend to post thatstuff, you know, um and so if we
are feeling exhausted and thenwe see other people and we
compare ourselves to them, it'snot fair.
It's's not fair comparison.
And so I was just absolutelyexhausted and I found myself

(09:38):
finding it really hard to stickto this plan that I had created.
But then I realized, through myrest in my summer, I was still
growing as a person emotionally.
Now I know this is kind of alittle bit, this is a little bit
, I don't know, vulnerable onthe internet, but I, this summer

(10:01):
as a person, have grown a lotemotionally, have grown a lot.
I've kind of I've found myselfkind of questioning more of like
, um, my, my emotional responsesto things and kind of things
like that, and kind of workingthrough, kind of grounding
myself more, staying in themoment, things like that,

(10:24):
because I tend to really justrush, really just rush and want
to get better at things andfocus on you know goals and just
be really, really like I'm aworkaholic, okay, and I found
that this summer I've beenreally growing as a person in
terms of being able to kind ofsit with myself more and sit
with my thoughts and sit withyou know who I am, and I think

(10:46):
that's really important,especially as musicians.
We should, we should reallyvalue that.
Um, and I realized like, yes, Iam, I am exhausted musically,
and that is okay.
I've just finished a year ofschool at a conservatoire.
I can be tired, I'm allowed tobe tired, and so are you.
You are allowed to be tired.

(11:07):
And you know, I realized I wasgrowing emotionally as a person.
I was like that that isimportant as well, you know, and
maybe the quietness isimportant as well.
I can grow in the quietness aswell, do you know what I mean?
And as well, I don't have ateacher right now, like because
I am at a conservatoire, my oboelessons end when the year ends

(11:32):
and I think it's kind of harderto stay focused on something
when you don't have thatcheck-in.
I find that Oval Lessons arereally helpful for a check-in
and I don't have that right now.
And so I've noticed, I'verealized, you know, it's okay
being tired, being exhausted,taking a break is okay.
We are only human, we are okay.

(11:53):
But also, you know, I am stilltrying to do these things that I
had set out in the summer.
I'm still trying to studytheory.
I'm still, you know, doing mypracticing.
I did take a bit of a break atthe beginning of the summer, but
now I'm, you know, getting backinto it, doing the practicing,
but maybe it's not as robust asI had thought it would be.

(12:13):
Maybe it's more about takingthat time in the silence,
sitting in the moment and justkind of understanding that
sometimes it's okay to not be sofocused on work and be such a
workaholic, because we need torest, you know.
And so, if you are feeling like, what have I done this summer?

(12:34):
What have I done this summer?
And you are maybe scrolling onsocial media and you are looking
at other musicians and thinkingthey're doing so many amazing
things, you know, and I'm sotired, that's okay.
That is okay Because we're allworking through this.
Now it's important to continueworking through the summer,

(12:57):
obviously, and it's important tokeep practicing and I am like I
took a break at the beginningof the summer but then I got
into oboe, into practicing againand I worked through it and you
know, I kind of I have thisthing and I think I talked about
this on the podcast a fewepisodes ago but about the um,
like what I do every day, so my,my technical practice and then

(13:21):
etudes and repertoire and thingslike that um, and you know I do
.
It is important to do thesethings.
And also, you know, if you wantto do like a summer intensive
or summer course, but it'simportant not to compare our
summers to anyone else's summers, because then that ruins our
summer and we really don't wantthat.

(13:42):
We really don't want that.
So I challenge you this summerto focus on your summer, focus
on your practice, focus on yourmusical growth or whatever
growth you feel you need to dothis summer, and if you are
doing a course, a summer courseor anything like that, focus on
that, because that is your lifeand that's amazing.

(14:03):
And yes, if you open socialmedia and you see someone else
doing something amazing, youmight feel the need to compare
yourself to them.
But I challenge, challenge you,take a deep breath and be like
that's their highlight reel andI am excited about my summer.
All right, no-transcript wantto do that.

(14:54):
So I think this episode is justa little bit of a check-in.
There wasn't really a recapbecause there wasn't three steps
, like like usual, but I thinkthe recap is kind of it's okay.
If you feel like you arecomparing yourself to other
people this summer, it'simportant not to compare
ourselves and it's important totry and work through that

(15:15):
comparison.
But just to let you know thatit's not just you.
We all, as musicians, have feltthis way at some point and it's
okay.
It's okay to struggle with thisand we're going to work through
this and you are going to workthrough this and I know you are
okay.
It's going to be okay.
So, before we end the episode, Ijust want to let you know about

(15:38):
something that is reallyhelpful for me and I want to
share with you, and that is anotable practice journal.
This is really helpful whenstructuring my practice and, for
instance, in the summer, whenwe maybe don't have as much
structure, using a journal tostructure our practice is so, so
, so beneficial and helpful.
With my notable practicejournal, I can not only

(16:01):
structure my practice and planit, but I also have space to
reflect on my practice so that Ican get better every day.
As soon as I realized this washelpful, I knew I needed to tell
you about it and I knew Ineeded to give you a code.
So use code LNR15 for 15% offof your journal and let's get
into some structured, beneficialpractice.

(16:21):
You know that I don't recommendanything that I don't
absolutely love.
This code is an affiliate code,which means I do receive a
commission with no extra cost toyou.
Okay, that is about it for thisepisode.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you did enjoy this episode,please do show all the love Like

(16:43):
, subscribe, comment, share,send it to all of your musician
friends and I will see you inthe next episode.
Oh, and also all of the linksabout this episode are in the
show notes, in the description,including the link for getting
your notable practice journaland the code.
All right, I will see you inthe next episode.

(17:04):
Take care bye.
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