February 4, 2025 • 24 mins
We talk a lot about what to do before an audition, but what about what not to do? Let's get into it.
This episode is available as a blog post. Click here to read.
Join The Confident Musicianing Membership Community with this link: patreon.com/Eleanoroboe
Click here for my Peabody Institute of Music audition story.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland Literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.
(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals, so comewith me as we go on this journey
together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of the Confident
(00:47):
Musicianing podcast.
I am so thankful that you arehere and that we are spending
this time together today.
Um, today is a bit of a bit of a.
For me, cloudy day it's a bitof a, I don't know.
For me, cloudy day it's a bitof a, I don't know.
It's not windy, but it's not.
It's like just just cloudy, andso I'm feeling extra cozy today
(01:11):
.
I'm feeling extra cozy.
I'm here, I'm on a couch thepodcast couch and I am recording
this episode, and I'm feelingextra cozy.
So I hope that, wherever youare in the world, whether it's
on some sort of publictransportation, maybe you're
going to school or a job, ormaybe you're making food or
(01:36):
whatever you're doing, going fora walk or maybe also just
sitting down.
I hope that we can spend thenext few minutes or however long
this is to just really deepdive into this topic and find
something valuable from it.
So today we are going to betalking about things I don't do
(02:00):
before an audition and it kindof sounds a bit negative I don't
do before an audition and itkind of sounds a bit negative.
That's a bit of a negativething like things I don't do.
Don't do these things, but Ithink it's important to maybe
just touch on that and be likeyou know, there are things that
I always do before an audition,but there are also things that I
try to avoid doing and that Ihave done in the past and that
(02:23):
haven't served me, and so Ithought this would probably be
um of some value to to you.
So I actually just did anaudition.
Um, like, last Sunday, I tookthe train to Edinburgh and, um,
it was so much fun I've neverbeen to Edinburgh before and I
(02:44):
so I took the train and I wentto Edinburgh and it was so
amazing.
And then I so it was funnybecause, like, I took the train
to Edinburgh, right, and I go tothe city centre of Edinburgh
and the auditions actually notin the city centre, I just
wanted to see the city centre.
So then I took another train tothe audition and then I walked
(03:06):
a mile and a half to theaudition and as I was walking,
said mile and a half, I was like, hold on, I'm supposed to play
oboe.
Now I've just traveled andwalked a mile and a half and now
I'm supposed to play oboe andthankfully it was fine, it
wasn't bad, like I, I got there,I I had enough time to kind of
(03:27):
calm down, warm up, you know,and and play the oboe.
But it was like a bit likenerve-wracking because I was
like I didn't think this through.
So maybe that's something toconsider.
That's not one of the things inin in the list, but to consider
that's not one of the things inthe list, but maybe that's one
thing.
Anyway, let's dive in to fourthings.
(03:49):
I have four things that I don'tdo before an audition.
The first thing is comparemyself to others in the room.
Now this you might be saying,eleanor, that's really easy to
say, that is really easy to sayand you're just saying it and
(04:10):
it's harder to do.
And let me tell you, I get that.
I understand.
Um, yes, I understand there are.
There are different ways of oftrying not to compare yourself
and especially, like it's hardto like try to focus on not
doing something, because thenthat's kind of what you're
thinking about.
Um, but I remember when I wasauditioning for music school and
(04:31):
I was auditioning for thePeabody Institute of Music and I
got there, I got to theaudition room, I was feeling, or
the warm-up room, I was feelingreally good, I was feeling
really confident, I had a goodnight's sleep, I had a good
breakfast, I was, I was ready togo, I felt good.
Um, and I walked up to the uh,like the audition room and I was
(04:52):
stood outside the hallway and Iwas listening.
I could, I could hear the girlbefore me, her audition, and at
that moment all of that, all ofthat good feeling of like I can
do this, just left me.
It just went whoosh away and Ijust was stood there like hang
(05:12):
on, hold on, wait.
I need that confidence to dowell in this audition.
Like what's happening.
It's all gone and all I coulddo was just sit there and
compare myself.
So I have, I have felt that Iknow what it feels like to
compare yourself.
I still struggle to um, comparemyself.
(05:33):
I um oftentimes because we haveperformance, we have
performance class at school andI am recently um, I've recently
changed from the American styleof oboe playing to the European
style, so I'm basically justrewiring the way I play oboe and
that means that I'm making alot of mistakes and it's hard
(05:57):
not to compare myself sometimesto the other oboists in the room
because they are all phenomenaland sometimes I struggle with
that.
So, yeah, comparison is, I know, comparison, but I think ways
to not compare myself and thisis something that I have talked
about in especially the secondepisode of the podcast, if we
(06:20):
really want to scroll back.
But I can link it in the shownotes so you don't have to
scroll.
But that was about the Peabodystory and you know that audition
I had where I was stood outsidethe audition room and all of a
sudden, all my confidence leftme.
I did two things that reallychanged me, my perspective and
(06:42):
really helped me regain thatconfidence and helped me to stop
comparing myself in that momentand that is in the that, that
episode.
But to just kind of go over it,number one, I, um, I, instead
of you know, listening to herwith comparison.
I listened to her withadmiration and that was just a
mindset shift that I did and itwas really quick and I kind of,
(07:06):
just without realizing it, Ijust went for it and did it
Because I couldn't not hear her.
That's something I tried first.
At first, I tried to likeliterally not listen and it was
like hold on, this is, this isdumb, I can't, I can't not
listen.
It's my ears are working rightnow, you know.
But so instead I listened and II picked out the things that
were good about her playing andkind of reframe them to
(07:29):
admiration.
So instead of saying, oh mygosh, her articulation is so
good and I feel like myarticulation isn't as good and
is my articulation going to begood, I changed it to oh my gosh
, her articulation is so good.
I love how, um, how direct itis and how precise it is and I
can't wait to one day sound likethat or, um, just things like
(07:52):
that.
That is a different shift andit really helped me.
The second thing I did wascompliment her, and that that
was really good.
I complimented her and that wasthe thing that really helped me
, because on the inside I wasstill feeling like, oh, you know
, I wanted, I want, like she'sbetter than me and I'm nervous
and you know, a part of mewanted to just like not look at
(08:15):
her and just walk to the roomand blah blah.
But instead I decided, you know, even if my insides, inside of
me, is feeling nervous, I wantto change that through the
outside.
So I complimented her and shesmiled and she said thanks and I
smiled and that made it so thatwhen I walked into the audition
room I was smiling, which madethe panel smile and it was a bit
(08:37):
of a contagious smile, um, andthat really helped me as well.
So just kind of humanizing theperson, not like humanizing them
.
I didn't not humanize them, butkind of just remind myself that
they are someone who you knowis probably a lovely person and
who wants to be like, who's justtrying, who's just trying like
(09:00):
me and we're all in thistogether and you know, I can
compliment her and I can see thegood things in her playing, and
it really helped me to not onlystop comparing myself but also
play better, because I justlistened to an oboist play very
well and I think that that kindof subconsciously helped me play
better.
So it's all good, it's all good.
So I think you know, if youwant to learn more about not
(09:21):
comparing yourself, that episodeis a good one to listen to.
So that is going to be linkedin the show notes.
Um, but that's the first thingand it it creates like it.
You need practice.
There is practice that thatgoes into this.
You're not going to all of asudden be like, nope, I don't
compare myself, cause, I mean,everyone compares themselves.
I still struggle withcomparison, but that is
(09:43):
something to remember before anaudition.
Like, don't compare yourself.
And if you do catch yourselfcomparing yourself, try to
change that mindset.
Turn it more into admiration.
You know, even if it's on theother end, if someone is playing
worse than you, right, andyou're the one and you know
you're at a better standard, andyou're like, oh my gosh.
(10:05):
You know, even if you think, ohmy gosh, that person's worse
than me, I'm fine, I'll be fine,I'll do my best, I don't need
to worry about that.
That is also kind of yucky,that is also kind of yucky, I
think you know, on the otherside of that, just be like this
person is here, I hope they do.
(10:25):
Well, I hope that, um, you knowthat they're they're working on
their, on their thing, and andit's great and just kind of
being encouraging because, youknow, if that girl, when I
complimented her in the inPeabody in the audition, if she
heard me and maybe heard that Iwasn't as good as her and she
kind of was like huh, you know,you're not as good as me, or I'm
(10:47):
, yeah, you're not as good as me, um, and kind of compared
herself, then when Icomplimented her, that's, that
wouldn't have been as genuineyou know what I mean and it
would have still kind of beenyucky.
So I think it goes both ways.
Okay, all right, let's move on.
The next thing that I don't dobefore an audition is practice a
(11:10):
ton that morning.
This might be different fordifferent instruments, but for
oboe it's a definite no.
I do not practice a ton thatmorning, no, no, I do not
practice a ton that morning, um,no, and one of the things that
the reason why I don't do thatis for stamina, stamina.
(11:30):
I need my stamina, um, and Ithink you know, going into the
audition, I kind of treat it asimilar way as like an athlete.
Would you know, when you watchthe Olympics and the athletes
are so focused and they're soready and, um, like, if they do,
I don't know a swim, I don'twatch the Olympics that much,
(11:51):
but let's say they do a swim.
We were watching swimmers andthe swimmers swim across the
pool four times.
I don't know, I don't knowanything about swimming, but
let's say they do.
Um, that is the epitome of thething that they are focusing on
that day.
Right, they are like I'm goingto go in, I'm going to swim
across the pool four times, I'mgoing to swim as fast as I can
so I can get that gold medal andthat's it, that is it for the
(12:15):
day.
And for me it's kind of thesimilar idea.
I'm like, okay, I'm going to goin, I'm going to play I don't
know Schumann's Third OboeRomance and that's going to be
the thing that I do today andI'm not going to worry about
scales like practicing.
Practicing scales in themorning or something like that.
Like, obviously I warm up, butI don't practice a ton that
(12:37):
morning.
In fact, I don't practice thatmorning I don't, I just I go and
that you know the day isfocused on that one thing.
I give it my all and oftentimesafterwards I'm kind of tired.
I'm like like I'm tired, andsometimes I practice, you know,
more after an audition.
I've had auditions where I feltso inspired and so excited that
(12:57):
I go home and practice.
But I think I don't practicebefore.
Now it could be different withdifferent instruments and you
can talk to your teacher aboutthat, um, but that's one thing
that I definitely don't do.
I remember one time I was in amock audition session with some
um, with my teacher in theStates and some of the other
(13:18):
students, and there was this onestudent who who did his mock
audition and he really struggledwith it and afterwards he was
like I shouldn't have practicedthis morning because my stamina
is gone and I should have justsaved it up for this mock
audition.
So that is something that Idefinitely don't do.
I do not practice a ton thatmorning.
(13:38):
Yeah, okay, number three thisone is another one.
That's literally four words,but so hard to do.
Let my anxiousness show Whoa, um.
Yes, I might be feeling anxiouson the inside, but I consider
(13:59):
like the audition as aperformance and not just the
audition itself.
But as soon as I walk in thatroom, walk in the building, you
know, I, just as soon as I walkin I am on performance mode, I
am smiling.
Every time I enter a room I amsmiling.
I am always the person thatkind of presents chill, of
(14:29):
presents chill.
And there's a lot of times II've gotten, I've gotten this
compliment a lot of times andit's shocked me.
Um, and people are like, how doyou seem so confident in your
auditions?
And part of me is like, well, Ihave a podcast called the
confident musicianing podcastand if you want to listen to it
there's stuff about, about thatUm, but but I realized it's part
of the like, part of the reasonwhy it's because I consider it
(14:54):
the entire audition situation ofperformance.
So when I walk into the um, thewarmup room and say, say there
are people I know in thatwarm-up room and maybe there are
strangers in that warm-up room,I am professional, I smile, I
warm up, maybe I talk to people,but I am really focused on my
(15:25):
presence in the room and kind ofhow I present myself.
I make sure that I don't looknervous and even if I feel
nervous on the inside, I makesure that I don't look nervous,
and you might be saying, eleanor, well, doesn't that make you
more nervous?
Cause you're nervous about notlooking nervous?
And I think, um, you know,sometimes I, you know, sometimes
(15:47):
I don't succeed.
I don't succeed at that.
I remember this audition that Ijust did.
I walked in the room and theywere like hello, you know, thank
you for being here.
And I don't remember what Isaid, but I know that it was
like not correct.
I think I said either thank youor something else.
And I said that and I was like,oh, wait, hold on.
(16:08):
And then I like said somethingelse, and so that was a bit of a
blip.
And then they also saidwhereabouts are you coming from?
Because they heard my accentand a lot of people get confused
by my accent because there'sBritish and American in the same
accent.
But I said I took the train, sothat was.
That was not the answer thatthey were looking for.
(16:31):
But I I was able to kind ofjust move on from that and be
like you know what?
That's okay.
So, yes, I don't.
I don't always, I'm not always100%, you know, professional and
not looking nervous.
Obviously, those, those twoincidents probably looked a bit
nervous, but I think it'shelpful when I am presenting not
(16:54):
nervous on the outside to helpwith my nerves on the inside,
because, you know, it kind ofshows that I don't have to be
nervous.
I remember in the Peabodyaudition when I complimented
that girl like that, even thoughI was nervous on the inside,
really helped me to not feel asnervous because when I
(17:16):
complimented her there was ahuman connection and it was was
like really, really special andlovely and that made me feel
less stressed.
And so the thing that I did onthe outside you know my actions
like I complimented her, thatwas something I decided to do.
It helped me feel better on theinside.
And so I think that that's adifferent or that's kind of a
(17:40):
similar idea as well with notletting my anxiousness show,
because if I don't let myanxiousness show, it might help
me to not feel as anxiousbecause I present myself more
confident and I'm excited aboutthat.
And I want to also preface bywhen I say that I'm not pushing
(18:00):
it down.
I'm excited about that and Iwant to also preface by when I
say that I'm not pushing it down.
I'm not denying it.
I'm not being like, oh my gosh,no, I'm not nervous.
I've never been nervous in myentire life.
If someone's like are younervous, I'll say a bit, a
little bit.
Sometimes I'll walk out topeople and be like are you
nervous or are you excited?
I'm not being like, oh me, no,never, I've never been nervous.
(18:23):
What are you talking about?
But what I am is I make surethat I smile in rooms, I greet
people.
I am kind of starting myperformance as soon as I enter
the building and that helps withmy anxiousness.
So I just want to be clear.
I'm not completely likepretending that I'm not anxious
(18:46):
or not nervous, becauseoftentimes I am, but I am, um,
creating like more of a, more ofa excited atmosphere in my mind
, um, and presenting that andsharing that and that really
helps on the inside.
All right, I hope that makessense.
(19:06):
The last thing is kind ofsimilar.
One thing that I don't dobefore an audition is shy away
from people.
Now, I'm not saying I go up toevery single person and
introduce myself and blah, blah,blah, um, but I don't shy away.
I'm not like hidden in thecorner, um, I take up space and
(19:30):
and I like I'm fine to do that,you know.
Um, and that's something that Ithink is important to remember.
I remember in this audition inEdinburgh there was this other
oboist who was having sometrouble with his water like
water in the keys and so heasked me if I had some paper to
(19:50):
get it out with, and I was likelet me see.
And I looked and I was like yes, I do.
And I gave it to him and he wastrying to get it like rip some
off, and he couldn't see, hecouldn't do it, and he was like
oh my gosh, I can't do it.
And I was like no, no worries,you know, I'll help you and
it'll be great.
And I did it.
And then I was, you know, I wasjust very kind of happy to help
(20:14):
, you know, and I think justhaving that positive attitude
really helps with the audition,because then when I go in the
audition, I'm leaving a room offriends you know what I mean
Like maybe not friends, but I'mleaving a room of people who
have a positive environment anda friendly environment.
I think that that's reallyhelpful when going into the
audition as well, because thenwhen you come back, they're like
(20:35):
how was it?
And it's like really lovely andit's just lovely.
Now, obviously, there might be afew people who don't want to
interact with you, and maybe youdon't want to interact with
people, and that's fine too.
But I think it's also an ideaof like this is about not
necessarily shying away, youknow, making yourself small,
(20:57):
going into a corner, et cetera.
Um, that's something that thatI try not to do at an audition.
So that is kind of the thingsthat I don't do before an
audition.
Um, let's do a quick recap.
So the first thing comparemyself to others in the room.
Instead, I try to listen topeople with admiration and
(21:21):
inspiration and just kind ofthat positive vibe.
The second thing is practice aton that morning, or like
practice at all that morning.
Now, this might be specific tooboists, but my stamina needs me
to not do that.
The next thing is let myanxiousness show.
Rather than that, I consider myperformance to start as soon as
(21:44):
I get in that room, as soon asI get in the building, as soon
as I start warming up and I, youknow, smile to everyone and
just like feel calm.
And it comes with practice.
Oh my gosh, it comes withpractice.
Some auditions I'm not calm atall and it doesn't work out, but
I try my best.
(22:05):
And the last thing is shy awayfrom people.
I always try to be open andfriendly to people because we're
all in this together.
Um, yeah, one thing that isimportant with auditioning is
(22:26):
practicing right and with ourpractice.
It is helpful for us to havekind of a community of other
musicians to boost us up.
You know, I mean like justboost us up, and I've decided
that I am creating a communityjust for that.
(22:47):
The community is called theConfident Musicianing Membership
Community and this is a groupof friendly, encouraging
musicians to lift you up in youreveryday practice and auditions
and all of these things.
In this membership you getaccess to so many things,
including practice with me,videos where we practice
(23:08):
together in real time, insightsinto what I am doing as a
conservatoire musician, musicstudent, as well as like things
that I genuinely want to sharewith you about my journey as a
musician.
There's Q&A sessions, livestreams, what else.
(23:30):
There's like so much stuff, howto videos.
We're doing that as well, andso all of these things are part
of the confident musicianingmembership community, if that
sounds like something that youwant to be a part of the
Confident Musicianing membershipcommunity.
If that sounds like somethingthat you want to be a part of,
then please do click the link inthe show notes and I can't wait
to see you there.
All right, that is about it forthis episode.
(23:51):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
I feel so totally honored thatyou have been here and I am
looking forward to seeing you inthe next episode.
Don't forget all of the thingsthat all of the links are in the
show notes, including the blogpost that goes with this episode
, and also the links for thatpodcast episode that I was
(24:12):
telling you about, about thePeabody story, and the link for
the Confident Musicianingmembership community.
All right, I hope to see you inthe next episode and, yeah,
I'll see you then Take care, bye.
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland Literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.
(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals, so comewith me as we go on this journey
together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of the Confident
(00:47):
Musicianing podcast.
I am so thankful that you arehere and that we are spending
this time together today.
Um, today is a bit of a bit of a.
For me, cloudy day it's a bitof a, I don't know.
For me, cloudy day it's a bitof a, I don't know.
It's not windy, but it's not.
It's like just just cloudy, andso I'm feeling extra cozy today
(01:11):
.
I'm feeling extra cozy.
I'm here, I'm on a couch thepodcast couch and I am recording
this episode, and I'm feelingextra cozy.
So I hope that, wherever youare in the world, whether it's
on some sort of publictransportation, maybe you're
going to school or a job, ormaybe you're making food or
(01:36):
whatever you're doing, going fora walk or maybe also just
sitting down.
I hope that we can spend thenext few minutes or however long
this is to just really deepdive into this topic and find
something valuable from it.
So today we are going to betalking about things I don't do
(02:00):
before an audition and it kindof sounds a bit negative I don't
do before an audition and itkind of sounds a bit negative.
That's a bit of a negativething like things I don't do.
Don't do these things, but Ithink it's important to maybe
just touch on that and be likeyou know, there are things that
I always do before an audition,but there are also things that I
try to avoid doing and that Ihave done in the past and that
(02:23):
haven't served me, and so Ithought this would probably be
um of some value to to you.
So I actually just did anaudition.
Um, like, last Sunday, I tookthe train to Edinburgh and, um,
it was so much fun I've neverbeen to Edinburgh before and I
(02:44):
so I took the train and I wentto Edinburgh and it was so
amazing.
And then I so it was funnybecause, like, I took the train
to Edinburgh, right, and I go tothe city centre of Edinburgh
and the auditions actually notin the city centre, I just
wanted to see the city centre.
So then I took another train tothe audition and then I walked
(03:06):
a mile and a half to theaudition and as I was walking,
said mile and a half, I was like, hold on, I'm supposed to play
oboe.
Now I've just traveled andwalked a mile and a half and now
I'm supposed to play oboe andthankfully it was fine, it
wasn't bad, like I, I got there,I I had enough time to kind of
(03:27):
calm down, warm up, you know,and and play the oboe.
But it was like a bit likenerve-wracking because I was
like I didn't think this through.
So maybe that's something toconsider.
That's not one of the things inin in the list, but to consider
that's not one of the things inthe list, but maybe that's one
thing.
Anyway, let's dive in to fourthings.
(03:49):
I have four things that I don'tdo before an audition.
The first thing is comparemyself to others in the room.
Now this you might be saying,eleanor, that's really easy to
say, that is really easy to sayand you're just saying it and
(04:10):
it's harder to do.
And let me tell you, I get that.
I understand.
Um, yes, I understand there are.
There are different ways of oftrying not to compare yourself
and especially, like it's hardto like try to focus on not
doing something, because thenthat's kind of what you're
thinking about.
Um, but I remember when I wasauditioning for music school and
(04:31):
I was auditioning for thePeabody Institute of Music and I
got there, I got to theaudition room, I was feeling, or
the warm-up room, I was feelingreally good, I was feeling
really confident, I had a goodnight's sleep, I had a good
breakfast, I was, I was ready togo, I felt good.
Um, and I walked up to the uh,like the audition room and I was
(04:52):
stood outside the hallway and Iwas listening.
I could, I could hear the girlbefore me, her audition, and at
that moment all of that, all ofthat good feeling of like I can
do this, just left me.
It just went whoosh away and Ijust was stood there like hang
(05:12):
on, hold on, wait.
I need that confidence to dowell in this audition.
Like what's happening.
It's all gone and all I coulddo was just sit there and
compare myself.
So I have, I have felt that Iknow what it feels like to
compare yourself.
I still struggle to um, comparemyself.
(05:33):
I um oftentimes because we haveperformance, we have
performance class at school andI am recently um, I've recently
changed from the American styleof oboe playing to the European
style, so I'm basically justrewiring the way I play oboe and
that means that I'm making alot of mistakes and it's hard
(05:57):
not to compare myself sometimesto the other oboists in the room
because they are all phenomenaland sometimes I struggle with
that.
So, yeah, comparison is, I know, comparison, but I think ways
to not compare myself and thisis something that I have talked
about in especially the secondepisode of the podcast, if we
(06:20):
really want to scroll back.
But I can link it in the shownotes so you don't have to
scroll.
But that was about the Peabodystory and you know that audition
I had where I was stood outsidethe audition room and all of a
sudden, all my confidence leftme.
I did two things that reallychanged me, my perspective and
(06:42):
really helped me regain thatconfidence and helped me to stop
comparing myself in that momentand that is in the that, that
episode.
But to just kind of go over it,number one, I, um, I, instead
of you know, listening to herwith comparison.
I listened to her withadmiration and that was just a
mindset shift that I did and itwas really quick and I kind of,
(07:06):
just without realizing it, Ijust went for it and did it
Because I couldn't not hear her.
That's something I tried first.
At first, I tried to likeliterally not listen and it was
like hold on, this is, this isdumb, I can't, I can't not
listen.
It's my ears are working rightnow, you know.
But so instead I listened and II picked out the things that
were good about her playing andkind of reframe them to
(07:29):
admiration.
So instead of saying, oh mygosh, her articulation is so
good and I feel like myarticulation isn't as good and
is my articulation going to begood, I changed it to oh my gosh
, her articulation is so good.
I love how, um, how direct itis and how precise it is and I
can't wait to one day sound likethat or, um, just things like
(07:52):
that.
That is a different shift andit really helped me.
The second thing I did wascompliment her, and that that
was really good.
I complimented her and that wasthe thing that really helped me
, because on the inside I wasstill feeling like, oh, you know
, I wanted, I want, like she'sbetter than me and I'm nervous
and you know, a part of mewanted to just like not look at
(08:15):
her and just walk to the roomand blah blah.
But instead I decided, you know, even if my insides, inside of
me, is feeling nervous, I wantto change that through the
outside.
So I complimented her and shesmiled and she said thanks and I
smiled and that made it so thatwhen I walked into the audition
room I was smiling, which madethe panel smile and it was a bit
(08:37):
of a contagious smile, um, andthat really helped me as well.
So just kind of humanizing theperson, not like humanizing them
.
I didn't not humanize them, butkind of just remind myself that
they are someone who you knowis probably a lovely person and
who wants to be like, who's justtrying, who's just trying like
(09:00):
me and we're all in thistogether and you know, I can
compliment her and I can see thegood things in her playing, and
it really helped me to not onlystop comparing myself but also
play better, because I justlistened to an oboist play very
well and I think that that kindof subconsciously helped me play
better.
So it's all good, it's all good.
So I think you know, if youwant to learn more about not
(09:21):
comparing yourself, that episodeis a good one to listen to.
So that is going to be linkedin the show notes.
Um, but that's the first thingand it it creates like it.
You need practice.
There is practice that thatgoes into this.
You're not going to all of asudden be like, nope, I don't
compare myself, cause, I mean,everyone compares themselves.
I still struggle withcomparison, but that is
(09:43):
something to remember before anaudition.
Like, don't compare yourself.
And if you do catch yourselfcomparing yourself, try to
change that mindset.
Turn it more into admiration.
You know, even if it's on theother end, if someone is playing
worse than you, right, andyou're the one and you know
you're at a better standard, andyou're like, oh my gosh.
(10:05):
You know, even if you think, ohmy gosh, that person's worse
than me, I'm fine, I'll be fine,I'll do my best, I don't need
to worry about that.
That is also kind of yucky,that is also kind of yucky, I
think you know, on the otherside of that, just be like this
person is here, I hope they do.
(10:25):
Well, I hope that, um, you knowthat they're they're working on
their, on their thing, and andit's great and just kind of
being encouraging because, youknow, if that girl, when I
complimented her in the inPeabody in the audition, if she
heard me and maybe heard that Iwasn't as good as her and she
kind of was like huh, you know,you're not as good as me, or I'm
(10:47):
, yeah, you're not as good as me, um, and kind of compared
herself, then when Icomplimented her, that's, that
wouldn't have been as genuineyou know what I mean and it
would have still kind of beenyucky.
So I think it goes both ways.
Okay, all right, let's move on.
The next thing that I don't dobefore an audition is practice a
(11:10):
ton that morning.
This might be different fordifferent instruments, but for
oboe it's a definite no.
I do not practice a ton thatmorning, no, no, I do not
practice a ton that morning, um,no, and one of the things that
the reason why I don't do thatis for stamina, stamina.
(11:30):
I need my stamina, um, and Ithink you know, going into the
audition, I kind of treat it asimilar way as like an athlete.
Would you know, when you watchthe Olympics and the athletes
are so focused and they're soready and, um, like, if they do,
I don't know a swim, I don'twatch the Olympics that much,
(11:51):
but let's say they do a swim.
We were watching swimmers andthe swimmers swim across the
pool four times.
I don't know, I don't knowanything about swimming, but
let's say they do.
Um, that is the epitome of thething that they are focusing on
that day.
Right, they are like I'm goingto go in, I'm going to swim
across the pool four times, I'mgoing to swim as fast as I can
so I can get that gold medal andthat's it, that is it for the
(12:15):
day.
And for me it's kind of thesimilar idea.
I'm like, okay, I'm going to goin, I'm going to play I don't
know Schumann's Third OboeRomance and that's going to be
the thing that I do today andI'm not going to worry about
scales like practicing.
Practicing scales in themorning or something like that.
Like, obviously I warm up, butI don't practice a ton that
(12:37):
morning.
In fact, I don't practice thatmorning I don't, I just I go and
that you know the day isfocused on that one thing.
I give it my all and oftentimesafterwards I'm kind of tired.
I'm like like I'm tired, andsometimes I practice, you know,
more after an audition.
I've had auditions where I feltso inspired and so excited that
(12:57):
I go home and practice.
But I think I don't practicebefore.
Now it could be different withdifferent instruments and you
can talk to your teacher aboutthat, um, but that's one thing
that I definitely don't do.
I remember one time I was in amock audition session with some
um, with my teacher in theStates and some of the other
(13:18):
students, and there was this onestudent who who did his mock
audition and he really struggledwith it and afterwards he was
like I shouldn't have practicedthis morning because my stamina
is gone and I should have justsaved it up for this mock
audition.
So that is something that Idefinitely don't do.
I do not practice a ton thatmorning.
(13:38):
Yeah, okay, number three thisone is another one.
That's literally four words,but so hard to do.
Let my anxiousness show Whoa, um.
Yes, I might be feeling anxiouson the inside, but I consider
(13:59):
like the audition as aperformance and not just the
audition itself.
But as soon as I walk in thatroom, walk in the building, you
know, I, just as soon as I walkin I am on performance mode, I
am smiling.
Every time I enter a room I amsmiling.
I am always the person thatkind of presents chill, of
(14:29):
presents chill.
And there's a lot of times II've gotten, I've gotten this
compliment a lot of times andit's shocked me.
Um, and people are like, how doyou seem so confident in your
auditions?
And part of me is like, well, Ihave a podcast called the
confident musicianing podcastand if you want to listen to it
there's stuff about, about thatUm, but but I realized it's part
of the like, part of the reasonwhy it's because I consider it
(14:54):
the entire audition situation ofperformance.
So when I walk into the um, thewarmup room and say, say there
are people I know in thatwarm-up room and maybe there are
strangers in that warm-up room,I am professional, I smile, I
warm up, maybe I talk to people,but I am really focused on my
(15:25):
presence in the room and kind ofhow I present myself.
I make sure that I don't looknervous and even if I feel
nervous on the inside, I makesure that I don't look nervous,
and you might be saying, eleanor, well, doesn't that make you
more nervous?
Cause you're nervous about notlooking nervous?
And I think, um, you know,sometimes I, you know, sometimes
(15:47):
I don't succeed.
I don't succeed at that.
I remember this audition that Ijust did.
I walked in the room and theywere like hello, you know, thank
you for being here.
And I don't remember what Isaid, but I know that it was
like not correct.
I think I said either thank youor something else.
And I said that and I was like,oh, wait, hold on.
(16:08):
And then I like said somethingelse, and so that was a bit of a
blip.
And then they also saidwhereabouts are you coming from?
Because they heard my accentand a lot of people get confused
by my accent because there'sBritish and American in the same
accent.
But I said I took the train, sothat was.
That was not the answer thatthey were looking for.
(16:31):
But I I was able to kind ofjust move on from that and be
like you know what?
That's okay.
So, yes, I don't.
I don't always, I'm not always100%, you know, professional and
not looking nervous.
Obviously, those, those twoincidents probably looked a bit
nervous, but I think it'shelpful when I am presenting not
(16:54):
nervous on the outside to helpwith my nerves on the inside,
because, you know, it kind ofshows that I don't have to be
nervous.
I remember in the Peabodyaudition when I complimented
that girl like that, even thoughI was nervous on the inside,
really helped me to not feel asnervous because when I
(17:16):
complimented her there was ahuman connection and it was was
like really, really special andlovely and that made me feel
less stressed.
And so the thing that I did onthe outside you know my actions
like I complimented her, thatwas something I decided to do.
It helped me feel better on theinside.
And so I think that that's adifferent or that's kind of a
(17:40):
similar idea as well with notletting my anxiousness show,
because if I don't let myanxiousness show, it might help
me to not feel as anxiousbecause I present myself more
confident and I'm excited aboutthat.
And I want to also preface bywhen I say that I'm not pushing
(18:00):
it down.
I'm excited about that and Iwant to also preface by when I
say that I'm not pushing it down.
I'm not denying it.
I'm not being like, oh my gosh,no, I'm not nervous.
I've never been nervous in myentire life.
If someone's like are younervous, I'll say a bit, a
little bit.
Sometimes I'll walk out topeople and be like are you
nervous or are you excited?
I'm not being like, oh me, no,never, I've never been nervous.
(18:23):
What are you talking about?
But what I am is I make surethat I smile in rooms, I greet
people.
I am kind of starting myperformance as soon as I enter
the building and that helps withmy anxiousness.
So I just want to be clear.
I'm not completely likepretending that I'm not anxious
(18:46):
or not nervous, becauseoftentimes I am, but I am, um,
creating like more of a, more ofa excited atmosphere in my mind
, um, and presenting that andsharing that and that really
helps on the inside.
All right, I hope that makessense.
(19:06):
The last thing is kind ofsimilar.
One thing that I don't dobefore an audition is shy away
from people.
Now, I'm not saying I go up toevery single person and
introduce myself and blah, blah,blah, um, but I don't shy away.
I'm not like hidden in thecorner, um, I take up space and
(19:30):
and I like I'm fine to do that,you know.
Um, and that's something that Ithink is important to remember.
I remember in this audition inEdinburgh there was this other
oboist who was having sometrouble with his water like
water in the keys and so heasked me if I had some paper to
(19:50):
get it out with, and I was likelet me see.
And I looked and I was like yes, I do.
And I gave it to him and he wastrying to get it like rip some
off, and he couldn't see, hecouldn't do it, and he was like
oh my gosh, I can't do it.
And I was like no, no worries,you know, I'll help you and
it'll be great.
And I did it.
And then I was, you know, I wasjust very kind of happy to help
(20:14):
, you know, and I think justhaving that positive attitude
really helps with the audition,because then when I go in the
audition, I'm leaving a room offriends you know what I mean
Like maybe not friends, but I'mleaving a room of people who
have a positive environment anda friendly environment.
I think that that's reallyhelpful when going into the
audition as well, because thenwhen you come back, they're like
(20:35):
how was it?
And it's like really lovely andit's just lovely.
Now, obviously, there might be afew people who don't want to
interact with you, and maybe youdon't want to interact with
people, and that's fine too.
But I think it's also an ideaof like this is about not
necessarily shying away, youknow, making yourself small,
(20:57):
going into a corner, et cetera.
Um, that's something that thatI try not to do at an audition.
So that is kind of the thingsthat I don't do before an
audition.
Um, let's do a quick recap.
So the first thing comparemyself to others in the room.
Instead, I try to listen topeople with admiration and
(21:21):
inspiration and just kind ofthat positive vibe.
The second thing is practice aton that morning, or like
practice at all that morning.
Now, this might be specific tooboists, but my stamina needs me
to not do that.
The next thing is let myanxiousness show.
Rather than that, I consider myperformance to start as soon as
(21:44):
I get in that room, as soon asI get in the building, as soon
as I start warming up and I, youknow, smile to everyone and
just like feel calm.
And it comes with practice.
Oh my gosh, it comes withpractice.
Some auditions I'm not calm atall and it doesn't work out, but
I try my best.
(22:05):
And the last thing is shy awayfrom people.
I always try to be open andfriendly to people because we're
all in this together.
Um, yeah, one thing that isimportant with auditioning is
(22:26):
practicing right and with ourpractice.
It is helpful for us to havekind of a community of other
musicians to boost us up.
You know, I mean like justboost us up, and I've decided
that I am creating a communityjust for that.
(22:47):
The community is called theConfident Musicianing Membership
Community and this is a groupof friendly, encouraging
musicians to lift you up in youreveryday practice and auditions
and all of these things.
In this membership you getaccess to so many things,
including practice with me,videos where we practice
(23:08):
together in real time, insightsinto what I am doing as a
conservatoire musician, musicstudent, as well as like things
that I genuinely want to sharewith you about my journey as a
musician.
There's Q&A sessions, livestreams, what else.
(23:30):
There's like so much stuff, howto videos.
We're doing that as well, andso all of these things are part
of the confident musicianingmembership community, if that
sounds like something that youwant to be a part of the
Confident Musicianing membershipcommunity.
If that sounds like somethingthat you want to be a part of,
then please do click the link inthe show notes and I can't wait
to see you there.
All right, that is about it forthis episode.
(23:51):
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
I feel so totally honored thatyou have been here and I am
looking forward to seeing you inthe next episode.
Don't forget all of the thingsthat all of the links are in the
show notes, including the blogpost that goes with this episode
, and also the links for thatpodcast episode that I was
(24:12):
telling you about, about thePeabody story, and the link for
the Confident Musicianingmembership community.
All right, I hope to see you inthe next episode and, yeah,
I'll see you then Take care, bye.
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