June 17, 2025 • 21 mins
This year at conservatoire was a roller-coaster ride. I am so grateful for it! Today we dive into three takeaways that I wasn't expecting I would learn.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.
(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals, so comewith me as we go on this journey
together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.
(00:54):
I have just finished a year ofmusic school that honestly shook
me to my core.
There were very high highs andvery low lows, but all in all, I
am so grateful for this yearbecause it has really really
helped me to grow as an oboist.
I have been challenged in waysthat I did not expect and it's
like honestly been amazing.
I have surprised myself in somany ways, but especially in my
(01:15):
way to grow and my ability toadapt.
This past year has been a bigone.
Not only have I moved countries, but I also changed playing
styles in terms of like the oboe, which effectively means that I
basically relearned how to playthe oboe.
So I am so proud of this yearand what I've achieved and I
(01:38):
want to share it with you.
So here are three things that Ihave learned, three kind of
lessons outside of playing thatI have learned from first year
at a conservatoire.
So grab a cup of tea.
I have a cup of tea with me.
It's like right behind me and,yeah, let's get into it.
(02:00):
So the first thing is learningmore than just how to play your
instrument.
I think you know, when I got toconservatoire, I expected to
learn how to play the oboebetter, and that, of course, is
the main focus and I did do that, which is great.
But I also learned so manyother things that I am so
(02:23):
grateful for the fact that Ilearned them.
For instance, effective timemanagement.
Uni is so different from highschool, it is so different from
high school and my time is moremy own.
I can leave the building if Iwant to Like.
That is an option Like.
I can leave the buildingbetween classes and I know,
depending on, like where youlive, depending, like around the
(02:44):
world, you can actually leaveyour high school in different
classes.
I mean in between differentclasses it depends, but I grew
up in the States and at least inmy high school, like you, had
to be there from a specific timeto a specific time.
And you know, at conservatoire,you know if I finish a class I
can go, and I can go and I canpractice.
(03:07):
I have more like time topractice.
I'm not necessarily learninglike maths or English.
Obviously, if I did maybe amore traditional university
degree I might have classes likethat as well.
But honestly, it was such alearning curve in terms of
figuring out you know how am Igonna structure my day, how do I
(03:29):
want to structure my day tomake it as effective as I
possibly can, and that just itwas such a learning curve and
I'm really grateful for thechance to to figure that out and
and work through it.
I remember at the beginning ofthe year a lot of my teachers
said you know, it's going totake a few weeks for you to kind
(03:50):
of get into the rhythm and getinto the groove.
So don't beat yourself up ifyou don't get that immediately.
And I'm really grateful forthem for saying that, because I
have a tendency to kind of beatmyself up if I don't get things
correct.
So that was a really goodlearning opportunity.
I think, as well all the otherclasses that don't have to do
(04:12):
with oboe.
So obviously I have oboeclasses and reed making classes,
but classes like on how tonetwork, music theory, music
history, how to like lead in amusical setting, how to work
well with other musicians, likeall of these things that I think
we need to know, even like morelike legal stuff, like how to
(04:34):
you know, do like I don't know,financial things when you're
self-employed, and all of thesethings is they're really really
really helpful, helpful, and Idid not realize, like number one
, that I was going to learn asmuch as I have in this situation
, like about those things, butalso how valuable and how
important they are.
I think you know, when we go touni or when we go to music
(04:56):
school, we think, okay, let's domusic, let's do our instrument,
but but in actuality, there'sso many more things that are is
important to note, and then alsokind of this idea of giving
yourself time and care.
I think it's really reallyreally easy to get into.
This idea of my life is musicand music is my life, especially
(05:20):
if you have flown across theworld is now.
You are now living in a newcountry, in a different country,
because of your degree.
You know, like because of yourdegree, I don't think that I
would be living in Scotland ifit wasn't for the fact that I,
you know, I'm studying at aconservatoire here, and so that
is is really important, and Ithink it's so easy because of
(05:43):
that to just be like okay, nowI'm going to do music school and
nothing else.
But actually that's going tolead to burnout, which I let or
which I experienced.
So after I burnt out, I starteddoing more things for me.
I started to go on more walks,I started to hang out with
(06:05):
friends more kind of create moreof that time, doing more
hobbies and honestly, that helpsmy oboe playing more.
When I wasn't actively burningmyself out in a practice room, I
was able to grow at oboe in abetter way, which I think you
know.
It's so easy to get into thatidea and that mindset of you
have to be practicing all thetime, but sometimes the most
productive thing you can do istake a step back and rest and do
(06:28):
something that really fillsyour cup.
So there's also that so kind ofjust learning things, other
things that aren't necessarilyto do with your instruments, but
more just life skills.
The next thing, which kind ofties into it but you can learn
something from everyone.
You can learn something fromeveryone.
(06:49):
I remember I literally took acourse on breathing from a vocal
teacher and that course it waslike four weeks or so, like once
a week for like four weeks.
It has transformed the way Iplay, completely transformed the
way I play, the way I hold theair, the way I, you know, center
the tone, because I am now ableto kind of understand a little
(07:14):
more how I breathe.
You know how do you take a goodbreath, how do you take a
supported breath.
And I remember when I signed upfor these classes, I was like,
oh my gosh, I'm literally takinga class on how to breathe, like
I didn't even bring my oboe.
It was literally just how tobreathe.
We literally just breathed foran hour and a half for like once
a week, for four weeks.
(07:34):
Like that was it, and I am likeso grateful for it, so grateful
for it.
Um, I also had coffee withanother student who's a bagpiper
and is doing gigs and I learnedso much from her about how to
cold call, like reach out topeople about gigs, just like how
to, how to, how to presentyourself, especially like in a
(07:56):
professional setting with gigs.
All of these things and neitherof these things were part of my
course.
The breathing course was notpart of my course, like my main
study, neither was the coffeewith this friend, but I learned
so many valuable things fromboth of these experiences
experiences, and I think it'sreally important to keep an open
(08:21):
mind when you're going to musicschool, because everyone there
has something that you can learnfrom.
They have knowledge that you can.
You can learn from, not justthe teachers, not just the
teachers in your specificdiscipline.
You can learn so much from, say, a string teacher if you're a
woodwind, or vice versa.
(08:41):
There is like we are all thereto to perform.
We are all there to to learnand to share our knowledge with
other people, and that is thatis what you can do, and you can
learn anything from so many, somany people and to get so many
different perspectives.
It can be anything from so many, so many people and to get so
many different perspectives.
It can be so, so, so helpful inyour personal playing as well,
(09:04):
and also just how you are in theworld and also your
professionalism, because youknow, being a musician is two
things it's playing, but thenit's also who you are and how
you present yourself in theworld.
And so I you know you can learnsomething from everyone.
Every single person hassomething to teach you, and that
is really, really valuable.
(09:26):
The third thing and I think thisis like a big thing is learning
from failure and the value ofan open mindset.
The biggest example of this iswhen I failed my midterm
technical exam at the beginningof this year.
I was honestly I'm going to bea little honest I was going
(09:47):
through some tough thingsmentally and I wasn't actually
listening to myself when I knewthat I needed to be gentle and
kind to myself.
Instead, I drained out all ofthat noise in the practice room
and I practiced and I practicedand I justified it with the fact
that I have my midtermtechnical exam coming up.
But the thing is, I completelyneglected myself.
(10:08):
Completely neglected myself,and because of this, when I
actually got to the exam, I wasburnt out and unable to actually
give a performance.
That and unable to actuallygive a performance that you know
was my best work, and so Ifailed.
And I remember when I, you know, got the, got the notification
(10:30):
that I failed, it justabsolutely wrecked me, like I
was so devastated.
Um, I was like what, just likehonestly so devastated.
I think there were two differentreasons.
I think that part of it waslike me feeling like, you know,
already feeling down and thenhaving this was just like worse.
But then also this idea of youknow, I'm a perfectionist.
In in high school I gotstraight A's.
(10:50):
I did not get a single B.
Why?
Because I am a perfectionist.
I did not allow myself to dothat and it was also, I think,
to the cost of my, my mentalhealth at some points.
Um, it was not healthy.
I did not allow myself to dothat and it was also, I think,
to the cost of my mental healthat some points.
It was not healthy, I think itwas.
Probably it would have beenbetter if I had maybe gotten at
least one or two Bs.
So then I could, you know, learnthat.
You know it's okay to not havethe best grades all the time,
(11:15):
but this was kind of thatequivalent.
I was like, but this was kindof that equivalent.
I was like, oh my gosh, I have.
I haven't really felt this kindof sting before.
You know, I haven't reallyfailed academically like this
before and that really reallyhurt.
I was like who, who am I?
I thought I was someone who,who did well at things.
(11:36):
Now that was like I mean,that's really deep and heavy.
And I knew during that time Ihad two options.
I could either let this defeatme and be like, oh my gosh, you
know, this is too hard.
Obviously, look at the, look atthe exam paper.
It says fail is too hard.
Or I could take this as anopportunity to learn and grow
(12:00):
and I did the latter because Iam, like you know, my love of
oboe like I'm not going to letthis defeat me.
What are you talking about?
I can learn from this.
So the next few months afterthat, I met with different
teachers to work through it.
I chatted with different otherstudents who had also gone
through a similar experience andI focused on being kinder to
(12:21):
myself.
I focused on being kinder tomyself and that was a big, big
difference.
I the second time cause I had areset the second time around.
During that reset, I felt somuch more supported.
There were people who werethere to help me.
You know, I even put it on myInstagram and I have gotten so
many amazing messages from youguys and that has been so
(12:45):
helpful in my confidence.
I felt supported by so manypeople.
And the second time around,because I had taken care of my
mental health and I had listenedto myself and I had, you know,
asked for help when I needed it,I passed.
I passed.
It's like, oh my gosh, I passedlike it's very fresh, it's very
new.
I passed like this past week,so I'm very excited still about
(13:07):
it.
Fresh, it's very new.
I passed like this past week,so I'm very excited still about
it.
It is a huge, huge, huge winbecause, you know, I took it,
this.
I took the situation and I waslike, okay, let's let's grow,
let's learn from it, becausegrowth is possible with an open
mindset.
Growth is possible with an openmindset.
If I had had a closed mindset,I probably wouldn't have passed
(13:27):
the second time.
I passed because I had an openmindset and that is so, so
valuable.
Another example of this is whenI was writing a history essay
for my music history class.
Now, I didn't fail this historyessay, but so it's not as
dramatic of an example, but itis still a good example.
About two weeks before theessay was due, I ran it past a
(13:50):
teacher and they said that ithad the right idea, but the
order didn't make sense, and sothe overall message of the essay
was jumbled and basically I hadtwo weeks to completely reorder
and revamp this essay.
That was just a wee bitstressful.
That was a wee bit stressful, Ithink.
You know.
It was quite a hefty one, quitea hefty essay, and so I was
(14:12):
like, okay, let's sit down anddo this.
And it was quite stressfulbecause I literally had a
meeting with this teacher wherethey were like okay, you need to
kind of rethink this, you know,rethink this before it's due.
And I think if I had a closedmindset, you know, I probably
would have not been able to riseto the challenge.
But with an open mindset, youcan say okay, I'm really
(14:36):
grateful for this meeting, I'mreally grateful for this teacher
for taking the time to tell methat I need to rethink this and
I am going to work on it andrethink it.
And because of that I was ableto create an essay that was
better structured, betterordered and, you know, was my
best work, and that is somethingthat I am really, really
(14:59):
grateful for it made much moresense.
It made much more sense afterthose two weeks, I think,
because, you know, if I wasn'table to be like, okay, it's okay
to struggle, it's okay to failan exam, it's okay to work
through things and to not haveit be easy, then I can.
(15:23):
You know I can do it and I canactually rise to the challenge
and do it.
I recently had a friend who who,when I was going through, you
know, the last few days beforemy exam, my exam reset um.
This friend told me she waslike you know, it makes sense,
this is conservatoire, it'smeant to be hard, it's meant to
not be easy.
Not everyone gets intoconservatoire.
(15:44):
So you know it's not meant tobe easy and I love that.
She said that it made me feelso much better about you know
this, because it's not meant tobe easy and because you know I
have been able to get intoconservatoire and I'm doing this
, that means that you know I canrise to this challenge and
that's something that I'm reallygrateful for and it was just
(16:08):
good.
It was just good.
I think, honestly, that was oneof the most valuable lessons
I've learned from year one umwas being able to do that.
Now, a little bonus lesson thatI learned from year one and I've
done this a little in the past,but year one really really kind
of drove a home that this isimportant is how to practice and
(16:30):
how to effectively practice,and one of the ways that I have
been effectively practicing isby planning my practice and
reflecting on it afterwards, andthe tool that I use to help
plan my practice is a notablepractice journal.
This notable practice journalhas really really helped me when
(16:51):
it comes to being able toeffectively plan my practice so
I can get my practice done andthen spend time doing other
things that I need to do andalso just having time for me,
because you know you've got younot only have to take care of
the oboe, but you also have totake care of the oboist, and
that goes for all of theinstruments.
But this notable practicejournal has been so, so helpful.
(17:14):
Not only have I been able toplan my practice, but also I've
been able to reflect, and thathelps me get better practice
sessions over time, because I'mable to look back and see, okay,
what worked and what didn't.
So, as soon as I realized thatthis notebook was helping me.
I knew that I had to tell youabout it and I knew that I had
to give you a code.
So use code Eleanor15 for 15%off your journal.
(17:37):
That is E-L-E-A-N-O-R-1-5 for15% off your journal and go get
yourself a notable practicejournal and start planning your
practice because, honestly, it'sreally really, really helpful.
There is a link in thedescription, in the show notes,
where you can go and get yourjournal.
And don't forget to use thecode Eleanor15 for 15% off.
(17:59):
You know me, I do not recommendanything that I don't
absolutely love.
This code is an affiliate code,so I do receive a commission
with no extra cost to you.
All right, shall we do a quickrecap of these three things?
All right?
The first thing is learningmore than just how to play your
(18:20):
instrument.
So learning like effective timemanagement, learning things
from all of the other classes.
I think it's so easy to go inand think, oh my gosh, this
class is about you knowsomething that's not actually my
main instrument, so I shouldn'tpay attention as much.
No, you should.
It's a it's usually aneffective skill.
You know, usually when a classhappens it's because you know
(18:43):
someone's put thought into itand thought, okay, this is worth
, you know teaching, so all ofthe other classes and then also
learning how to give yourselftime and care and just kind of
listening to yourself when you,when you need to, to fill your
cup, um back up after maybe along day of rehearsals and
practice, um.
The second thing is you canlearn something from everyone,
(19:06):
literally everyone, even someonewho has nothing to do with your
discipline.
You can learn something fromeveryone.
We talked about how I had totook breathing classes from a
vocal teacher and how I hadcoffee with a bag piping
students and we talked abouteffective ways to get gigs.
That, like, those twoexperiences have been so helpful
(19:27):
.
And the last thing is learningfrom failure the value of an
open mindset.
The biggest example of that isme failing my technical exam and
then changing kind of myapproach to it and my approach
to self-care as well, and thenbeing able to pass in the reset
but, yeah, just seeing like wecan.
We can overcome failure.
(19:48):
We can overcome failure.
I think, as musicians,perfectionism runs deep and
being able to be like, okay,that wasn't, you know, that
wasn't perfect, becauseobviously I didn't do well,
because I failed, but I'm ableto, to come back from it and to
come back better.
And you know, sometimes comingback better is being softer with
(20:08):
yourself and more gentler, and,you know, being kinder to
yourself.
So there's also that.
And then the last thing is likemore effective practice
planning, and the tool that Iuse for that is a notable
practice journal, so there is acode in the description in the
show notes, so make sure to gocheck that out.
All right, oh my gosh, this yearhas been so amazing.
(20:30):
I it's crazy.
I feel like now, now this yearis over, I'm like, what do I do?
I'm like, I mean, I know whatI'm going to do, like I have
things and I'm so excitedbecause you know I have more
time to focus on, like thepodcast and and things for you
guys which I'm so excited about.
Um, but it's like you know, nowthe school year's over, I'm
(20:51):
like, oh my gosh, we did it.
We did it.
We did one year and I'm sograteful for this year.
So, all right, that is about itfor this episode.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
I hope that it was helpful, itwas good, I hope we had a good
time and, as always, all thethings to do with this episode
(21:12):
will be in the show notes, andif you enjoyed this episode,
please do show the love like,subscribe, share, comment, send
it to all of your musicalfriends and I will see you in
the next episode.
Alright, take care, bye.
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.
(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals, so comewith me as we go on this journey
together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.
(00:54):
I have just finished a year ofmusic school that honestly shook
me to my core.
There were very high highs andvery low lows, but all in all, I
am so grateful for this yearbecause it has really really
helped me to grow as an oboist.
I have been challenged in waysthat I did not expect and it's
like honestly been amazing.
I have surprised myself in somany ways, but especially in my
(01:15):
way to grow and my ability toadapt.
This past year has been a bigone.
Not only have I moved countries, but I also changed playing
styles in terms of like the oboe, which effectively means that I
basically relearned how to playthe oboe.
So I am so proud of this yearand what I've achieved and I
(01:38):
want to share it with you.
So here are three things that Ihave learned, three kind of
lessons outside of playing thatI have learned from first year
at a conservatoire.
So grab a cup of tea.
I have a cup of tea with me.
It's like right behind me and,yeah, let's get into it.
(02:00):
So the first thing is learningmore than just how to play your
instrument.
I think you know, when I got toconservatoire, I expected to
learn how to play the oboebetter, and that, of course, is
the main focus and I did do that, which is great.
But I also learned so manyother things that I am so
(02:23):
grateful for the fact that Ilearned them.
For instance, effective timemanagement.
Uni is so different from highschool, it is so different from
high school and my time is moremy own.
I can leave the building if Iwant to Like.
That is an option Like.
I can leave the buildingbetween classes and I know,
depending on, like where youlive, depending, like around the
(02:44):
world, you can actually leaveyour high school in different
classes.
I mean in between differentclasses it depends, but I grew
up in the States and at least inmy high school, like you, had
to be there from a specific timeto a specific time.
And you know, at conservatoire,you know if I finish a class I
can go, and I can go and I canpractice.
(03:07):
I have more like time topractice.
I'm not necessarily learninglike maths or English.
Obviously, if I did maybe amore traditional university
degree I might have classes likethat as well.
But honestly, it was such alearning curve in terms of
figuring out you know how am Igonna structure my day, how do I
(03:29):
want to structure my day tomake it as effective as I
possibly can, and that just itwas such a learning curve and
I'm really grateful for thechance to to figure that out and
and work through it.
I remember at the beginning ofthe year a lot of my teachers
said you know, it's going totake a few weeks for you to kind
(03:50):
of get into the rhythm and getinto the groove.
So don't beat yourself up ifyou don't get that immediately.
And I'm really grateful forthem for saying that, because I
have a tendency to kind of beatmyself up if I don't get things
correct.
So that was a really goodlearning opportunity.
I think, as well all the otherclasses that don't have to do
(04:12):
with oboe.
So obviously I have oboeclasses and reed making classes,
but classes like on how tonetwork, music theory, music
history, how to like lead in amusical setting, how to work
well with other musicians, likeall of these things that I think
we need to know, even like morelike legal stuff, like how to
(04:34):
you know, do like I don't know,financial things when you're
self-employed, and all of thesethings is they're really really
really helpful, helpful, and Idid not realize, like number one
, that I was going to learn asmuch as I have in this situation
, like about those things, butalso how valuable and how
important they are.
I think you know, when we go touni or when we go to music
(04:56):
school, we think, okay, let's domusic, let's do our instrument,
but but in actuality, there'sso many more things that are is
important to note, and then alsokind of this idea of giving
yourself time and care.
I think it's really reallyreally easy to get into.
This idea of my life is musicand music is my life, especially
(05:20):
if you have flown across theworld is now.
You are now living in a newcountry, in a different country,
because of your degree.
You know, like because of yourdegree, I don't think that I
would be living in Scotland ifit wasn't for the fact that I,
you know, I'm studying at aconservatoire here, and so that
is is really important, and Ithink it's so easy because of
(05:43):
that to just be like okay, nowI'm going to do music school and
nothing else.
But actually that's going tolead to burnout, which I let or
which I experienced.
So after I burnt out, I starteddoing more things for me.
I started to go on more walks,I started to hang out with
(06:05):
friends more kind of create moreof that time, doing more
hobbies and honestly, that helpsmy oboe playing more.
When I wasn't actively burningmyself out in a practice room, I
was able to grow at oboe in abetter way, which I think you
know.
It's so easy to get into thatidea and that mindset of you
have to be practicing all thetime, but sometimes the most
productive thing you can do istake a step back and rest and do
(06:28):
something that really fillsyour cup.
So there's also that so kind ofjust learning things, other
things that aren't necessarilyto do with your instruments, but
more just life skills.
The next thing, which kind ofties into it but you can learn
something from everyone.
You can learn something fromeveryone.
(06:49):
I remember I literally took acourse on breathing from a vocal
teacher and that course it waslike four weeks or so, like once
a week for like four weeks.
It has transformed the way Iplay, completely transformed the
way I play, the way I hold theair, the way I, you know, center
the tone, because I am now ableto kind of understand a little
(07:14):
more how I breathe.
You know how do you take a goodbreath, how do you take a
supported breath.
And I remember when I signed upfor these classes, I was like,
oh my gosh, I'm literally takinga class on how to breathe, like
I didn't even bring my oboe.
It was literally just how tobreathe.
We literally just breathed foran hour and a half for like once
a week, for four weeks.
(07:34):
Like that was it, and I am likeso grateful for it, so grateful
for it.
Um, I also had coffee withanother student who's a bagpiper
and is doing gigs and I learnedso much from her about how to
cold call, like reach out topeople about gigs, just like how
to, how to, how to presentyourself, especially like in a
(07:56):
professional setting with gigs.
All of these things and neitherof these things were part of my
course.
The breathing course was notpart of my course, like my main
study, neither was the coffeewith this friend, but I learned
so many valuable things fromboth of these experiences
experiences, and I think it'sreally important to keep an open
(08:21):
mind when you're going to musicschool, because everyone there
has something that you can learnfrom.
They have knowledge that you can.
You can learn from, not justthe teachers, not just the
teachers in your specificdiscipline.
You can learn so much from, say, a string teacher if you're a
woodwind, or vice versa.
(08:41):
There is like we are all thereto to perform.
We are all there to to learnand to share our knowledge with
other people, and that is thatis what you can do, and you can
learn anything from so many, somany people and to get so many
different perspectives.
It can be anything from so many, so many people and to get so
many different perspectives.
It can be so, so, so helpful inyour personal playing as well,
(09:04):
and also just how you are in theworld and also your
professionalism, because youknow, being a musician is two
things it's playing, but thenit's also who you are and how
you present yourself in theworld.
And so I you know you can learnsomething from everyone.
Every single person hassomething to teach you, and that
is really, really valuable.
(09:26):
The third thing and I think thisis like a big thing is learning
from failure and the value ofan open mindset.
The biggest example of this iswhen I failed my midterm
technical exam at the beginningof this year.
I was honestly I'm going to bea little honest I was going
(09:47):
through some tough thingsmentally and I wasn't actually
listening to myself when I knewthat I needed to be gentle and
kind to myself.
Instead, I drained out all ofthat noise in the practice room
and I practiced and I practicedand I justified it with the fact
that I have my midtermtechnical exam coming up.
But the thing is, I completelyneglected myself.
(10:08):
Completely neglected myself,and because of this, when I
actually got to the exam, I wasburnt out and unable to actually
give a performance.
That and unable to actuallygive a performance that you know
was my best work, and so Ifailed.
And I remember when I, you know, got the, got the notification
(10:30):
that I failed, it justabsolutely wrecked me, like I
was so devastated.
Um, I was like what, just likehonestly so devastated.
I think there were two differentreasons.
I think that part of it waslike me feeling like, you know,
already feeling down and thenhaving this was just like worse.
But then also this idea of youknow, I'm a perfectionist.
In in high school I gotstraight A's.
(10:50):
I did not get a single B.
Why?
Because I am a perfectionist.
I did not allow myself to dothat and it was also, I think,
to the cost of my, my mentalhealth at some points.
Um, it was not healthy.
I did not allow myself to dothat and it was also, I think,
to the cost of my mental healthat some points.
It was not healthy, I think itwas.
Probably it would have beenbetter if I had maybe gotten at
least one or two Bs.
So then I could, you know, learnthat.
You know it's okay to not havethe best grades all the time,
(11:15):
but this was kind of thatequivalent.
I was like, but this was kindof that equivalent.
I was like, oh my gosh, I have.
I haven't really felt this kindof sting before.
You know, I haven't reallyfailed academically like this
before and that really reallyhurt.
I was like who, who am I?
I thought I was someone who,who did well at things.
(11:36):
Now that was like I mean,that's really deep and heavy.
And I knew during that time Ihad two options.
I could either let this defeatme and be like, oh my gosh, you
know, this is too hard.
Obviously, look at the, look atthe exam paper.
It says fail is too hard.
Or I could take this as anopportunity to learn and grow
(12:00):
and I did the latter because Iam, like you know, my love of
oboe like I'm not going to letthis defeat me.
What are you talking about?
I can learn from this.
So the next few months afterthat, I met with different
teachers to work through it.
I chatted with different otherstudents who had also gone
through a similar experience andI focused on being kinder to
(12:21):
myself.
I focused on being kinder tomyself and that was a big, big
difference.
I the second time cause I had areset the second time around.
During that reset, I felt somuch more supported.
There were people who werethere to help me.
You know, I even put it on myInstagram and I have gotten so
many amazing messages from youguys and that has been so
(12:45):
helpful in my confidence.
I felt supported by so manypeople.
And the second time around,because I had taken care of my
mental health and I had listenedto myself and I had, you know,
asked for help when I needed it,I passed.
I passed.
It's like, oh my gosh, I passedlike it's very fresh, it's very
new.
I passed like this past week,so I'm very excited still about
(13:07):
it.
Fresh, it's very new.
I passed like this past week,so I'm very excited still about
it.
It is a huge, huge, huge winbecause, you know, I took it,
this.
I took the situation and I waslike, okay, let's let's grow,
let's learn from it, becausegrowth is possible with an open
mindset.
Growth is possible with an openmindset.
If I had had a closed mindset,I probably wouldn't have passed
(13:27):
the second time.
I passed because I had an openmindset and that is so, so
valuable.
Another example of this is whenI was writing a history essay
for my music history class.
Now, I didn't fail this historyessay, but so it's not as
dramatic of an example, but itis still a good example.
About two weeks before theessay was due, I ran it past a
(13:50):
teacher and they said that ithad the right idea, but the
order didn't make sense, and sothe overall message of the essay
was jumbled and basically I hadtwo weeks to completely reorder
and revamp this essay.
That was just a wee bitstressful.
That was a wee bit stressful, Ithink.
You know.
It was quite a hefty one, quitea hefty essay, and so I was
(14:12):
like, okay, let's sit down anddo this.
And it was quite stressfulbecause I literally had a
meeting with this teacher wherethey were like okay, you need to
kind of rethink this, you know,rethink this before it's due.
And I think if I had a closedmindset, you know, I probably
would have not been able to riseto the challenge.
But with an open mindset, youcan say okay, I'm really
(14:36):
grateful for this meeting, I'mreally grateful for this teacher
for taking the time to tell methat I need to rethink this and
I am going to work on it andrethink it.
And because of that I was ableto create an essay that was
better structured, betterordered and, you know, was my
best work, and that is somethingthat I am really, really
(14:59):
grateful for it made much moresense.
It made much more sense afterthose two weeks, I think,
because, you know, if I wasn'table to be like, okay, it's okay
to struggle, it's okay to failan exam, it's okay to work
through things and to not haveit be easy, then I can.
(15:23):
You know I can do it and I canactually rise to the challenge
and do it.
I recently had a friend who who,when I was going through, you
know, the last few days beforemy exam, my exam reset um.
This friend told me she waslike you know, it makes sense,
this is conservatoire, it'smeant to be hard, it's meant to
not be easy.
Not everyone gets intoconservatoire.
(15:44):
So you know it's not meant tobe easy and I love that.
She said that it made me feelso much better about you know
this, because it's not meant tobe easy and because you know I
have been able to get intoconservatoire and I'm doing this
, that means that you know I canrise to this challenge and
that's something that I'm reallygrateful for and it was just
(16:08):
good.
It was just good.
I think, honestly, that was oneof the most valuable lessons
I've learned from year one umwas being able to do that.
Now, a little bonus lesson thatI learned from year one and I've
done this a little in the past,but year one really really kind
of drove a home that this isimportant is how to practice and
(16:30):
how to effectively practice,and one of the ways that I have
been effectively practicing isby planning my practice and
reflecting on it afterwards, andthe tool that I use to help
plan my practice is a notablepractice journal.
This notable practice journalhas really really helped me when
(16:51):
it comes to being able toeffectively plan my practice so
I can get my practice done andthen spend time doing other
things that I need to do andalso just having time for me,
because you know you've got younot only have to take care of
the oboe, but you also have totake care of the oboist, and
that goes for all of theinstruments.
But this notable practicejournal has been so, so helpful.
(17:14):
Not only have I been able toplan my practice, but also I've
been able to reflect, and thathelps me get better practice
sessions over time, because I'mable to look back and see, okay,
what worked and what didn't.
So, as soon as I realized thatthis notebook was helping me.
I knew that I had to tell youabout it and I knew that I had
to give you a code.
So use code Eleanor15 for 15%off your journal.
(17:37):
That is E-L-E-A-N-O-R-1-5 for15% off your journal and go get
yourself a notable practicejournal and start planning your
practice because, honestly, it'sreally really, really helpful.
There is a link in thedescription, in the show notes,
where you can go and get yourjournal.
And don't forget to use thecode Eleanor15 for 15% off.
(17:59):
You know me, I do not recommendanything that I don't
absolutely love.
This code is an affiliate code,so I do receive a commission
with no extra cost to you.
All right, shall we do a quickrecap of these three things?
All right?
The first thing is learningmore than just how to play your
(18:20):
instrument.
So learning like effective timemanagement, learning things
from all of the other classes.
I think it's so easy to go inand think, oh my gosh, this
class is about you knowsomething that's not actually my
main instrument, so I shouldn'tpay attention as much.
No, you should.
It's a it's usually aneffective skill.
You know, usually when a classhappens it's because you know
(18:43):
someone's put thought into itand thought, okay, this is worth
, you know teaching, so all ofthe other classes and then also
learning how to give yourselftime and care and just kind of
listening to yourself when you,when you need to, to fill your
cup, um back up after maybe along day of rehearsals and
practice, um.
The second thing is you canlearn something from everyone,
(19:06):
literally everyone, even someonewho has nothing to do with your
discipline.
You can learn something fromeveryone.
We talked about how I had totook breathing classes from a
vocal teacher and how I hadcoffee with a bag piping
students and we talked abouteffective ways to get gigs.
That, like, those twoexperiences have been so helpful
(19:27):
.
And the last thing is learningfrom failure the value of an
open mindset.
The biggest example of that isme failing my technical exam and
then changing kind of myapproach to it and my approach
to self-care as well, and thenbeing able to pass in the reset
but, yeah, just seeing like wecan.
We can overcome failure.
(19:48):
We can overcome failure.
I think, as musicians,perfectionism runs deep and
being able to be like, okay,that wasn't, you know, that
wasn't perfect, becauseobviously I didn't do well,
because I failed, but I'm ableto, to come back from it and to
come back better.
And you know, sometimes comingback better is being softer with
(20:08):
yourself and more gentler, and,you know, being kinder to
yourself.
So there's also that.
And then the last thing is likemore effective practice
planning, and the tool that Iuse for that is a notable
practice journal, so there is acode in the description in the
show notes, so make sure to gocheck that out.
All right, oh my gosh, this yearhas been so amazing.
(20:30):
I it's crazy.
I feel like now, now this yearis over, I'm like, what do I do?
I'm like, I mean, I know whatI'm going to do, like I have
things and I'm so excitedbecause you know I have more
time to focus on, like thepodcast and and things for you
guys which I'm so excited about.
Um, but it's like you know, nowthe school year's over, I'm
(20:51):
like, oh my gosh, we did it.
We did it.
We did one year and I'm sograteful for this year.
So, all right, that is about itfor this episode.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me.
I hope that it was helpful, itwas good, I hope we had a good
time and, as always, all thethings to do with this episode
(21:12):
will be in the show notes, andif you enjoyed this episode,
please do show the love like,subscribe, share, comment, send
it to all of your musicalfriends and I will see you in
the next episode.
Alright, take care, bye.
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