What I say to myself before my performances

I didn't realise how important my pre-performance rituals were until I slacked on them. Here are 3 things I do/say to myself before my performances.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Confident Musicianing
Podcast.
My name is Eleanor and I am aBritish American oboist studying
at the Royal Conservatoire ofScotland literally my dream
school and it took me a long wayto get there.
I applied and auditioned for 12schools in three different
countries.
It was a lot of hard work but,oh my gosh, so worth it.

(00:24):
I want you to have theconfidence to work hard in
achieving your goals.
So come with me as we go onthis journey together.
So sit down, pull up a chair,take a seat or, if you're on the
go, welcome to the ConfidentMusicianing Podcast.

(00:50):
I didn't realize how importantit is to have your basic rituals
for auditions and performancesuntil I kind of neglected them.
So I have been doing so manydifferent auditions and
performances in my oboe journeyso far.
I auditioned for 12 differentmusic schools in three different
countries.
Um, that had, you know,multiple rounds to the auditions
, so that wasn't just 12auditions, that was many more.

(01:11):
Um, I have done many differentperformances and through these
performances and auditionsthrough the good ones and the
bad ones, I have kind of come upwith rituals that I say to
myself, um, and like things thatI say to myself to help me feel
grounded.
And I was doing these thingsand doing these things.
And then when I, a few monthsago, I got really, really

(01:34):
nervous for my midterm technicalexam at my conservatoire and,
without realizing it, I kind ofjust stopped doing the basics of
like preparing for an auditionor preparing for an exam in
terms of like the things that Isay to myself, giving myself
space, letting myself rest.
I just practiced and practicedand practiced.
And then when I got to the exam, I didn't feel grounded at all.

(01:55):
I felt tired because I had beenpracticing so much for it and
it kind of fell apart and Ifailed it.
So, and and after that exam, Iwas like hang on.
You know, I didn't realize justhow important these things that
I say to myself are, and so Ihave a resit.
I'm really excited about it.
I have a resit in a few weeks.

(02:15):
I'm really looking forward toit, and I'm really looking
forward to grounding myself andreally feeling ready for it in
my being rather than just in myoboe playing, and I also have a
final recital coming up.
So I'm going to be using thesethings that I say to myself as
well, and I think that this isreally important to share with
you as well, because thesethings that I say to myself are

(02:38):
really grounding, they're reallyhelpful and I want to share
them with you.
So let's dive right in.
The first thing that I say tomyself is it's a bit of a
mindset shift.
So every world-class musicianwas nervous for their audition,
performance, exam, etc.
You are no different, and Ilike to think about this.
So let's do a little practicething together.

(03:00):
We're going to do a littleexercise.
Think about your favoritemusician in the whole wide world
.
They could be a classicalmusician.
They could be maybe a differentgenre of musician.
Think about that musician Now.
Think about the fact that theywere nervous for their first
ever performance.
They were nervous for theirsecond performance.
They were probably nervous fortheir most recent performance.

(03:23):
They were nervous for theirauditions, right, and you are no
different, and for me, thatreally helps me, because it not
only makes me feel grounded, butit also helps me to realize
that I could go that far.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, the fact that I amnervous for this audition does
not negate the possibility of megoing far in in music, right,

(03:45):
and it really helps me.
So, just thinking about yourfavorite musician and then think
about their younger selves,like, imagine them your age and
nervous for whatever you'reabout to do in music.
And that really helps mebecause I'm like, oh yeah,
they're human too and they gotthat far even though they were

(04:05):
nervous, which means that I cando that as well, and it really
helps me feel grounded.
So, whoever your favoritemusician is in the whole wide
world, they could be a classicalmusician like Albrecht, mayer,
hilary Hahn, angela Giorgu I'mjust thinking of like cool
musicians that I like and thenthey could also be like, maybe,

(04:29):
pop musicians Taylor Swift,right, taylor Swift is probably,
was probably nervous for herfirst ever performance that she
ever did.
Maybe the second one, the thirdone, the fourth one, the 60th
one, you know so it.
So it's really, really helpfulto think about that.
Your favorite musician wasnervous for whatever you're
about to do.
The next thing is kind of asimilar idea, and this is a

(04:54):
newer thing.
But nerves don't take away fromwhat you can do.
Everything that in the historyof the earth that was like
important, there was nervesinvolved.
Okay, if you think of like Idon't know, the, the, the famous

(05:15):
speeches of the world thatpeople have given the, the ted
talks of the world, the um, likeI don't know, like going to the
moon.
You know people were nervousfor that.
Does that negate the absolutelyamazingness of it?
Did it stop it?
Did those nerves stop thesethings?

(05:36):
No, they didn't, because thepeople involved like the fact,
like the nerves did not negatethe people involved like
abilities to do these things.
And that's the same with you.
So your nerves, whatever you'refeeling, doesn't actually take
away from the fact that you knowyou can do this.

(05:57):
You know you've practiced it.
Maybe you've done mockauditions or mock performances.
Maybe you've just like played,you know, for your family.
Maybe you've played for stuffedtoys, whoever you've played for
.
And you, you know that you cando this.
And, yes, you're nervous, butnerves just show that you care.
They don't take away from yourability.

(06:19):
Think about it like they'rejust, they're just added on.
Think about like your abilityis a cake, right, you Think
about it like they're just,they're just added on.
Think about like your abilityis a cake, right, you're.
You think about it like alovely cake and that is your
ability.
And then the nerves are likemaybe sprinkles on top of the
cake or like icing on top of thecake, right, it might feel like
it's everywhere, but the factthat the fact of the matter is

(06:41):
your the cake is still there,right, your the cake is still
there, right, the cake is stillthere.
And when someone eats the cake,they still taste the cake, you
know I mean.
So when you perform, you stillgive what you can give and maybe
you are nervous, but that showsthat you care.
And I think nerves can often andI mean I'm saying this all of
this, and it is much easier saidthan done, and I do struggle

(07:04):
with nerves all the time but thefact is, like nerves mean that
you care, nerves can also beturned into excitement.
It's the same kind of feeling.
So if you think of it asexcitement, that can also help.
But that does not negate thefact that you have this
beautiful thing to offer, youknow.
And the last thing, the lastthing is kind of an activity,

(07:30):
not necessarily something yousay, but something you decide.
But it is creating a personalgoal for yourself in this
endeavor.
So maybe the audition is to getinto an orchestra or youth
orchestra, and that is obviouslythe goal you want into the
orchestra.
But you can create a personalgoal for yourself.
So maybe something that you'vebeen struggling with is

(07:52):
performance anxiety, and thepersonal goal you want is to
play your very best, despite theanxiety you might feel, and
that's the goal that you focuson, not necessarily the getting
in bit, because that's not yourchoice to make.
Whether you get into theorchestra or you get into the
program or whatever it is, thatis the person who is assessing

(08:18):
you.
That's their choice.
Or maybe if you pass the exam,that is that is not your
decision to make.
Whether you pass or you fail orwhatever you know you you're
doing the person who is gradingyou or who is assessing you or
listening to you.
That is their responsibility.
So take that off right.
Take.
That is their responsibility.
So take that off right.
Take that responsibility offbecause it's not yours.
Your responsibility is to playthe best you can, and creating a

(08:39):
personal goal for yourself canbe really helpful for that.
So past personal goals for mefor instance, I have recently
switched from the American styleof playing to the European
style of oboe playing and I didan audition.
It was like my very firstaudition with the new style and
my personal goal was to justplay to the best of my ability

(09:00):
in this new style and to kind ofshow that I can right.
Because I was at that pointwhere I was like, oh my gosh, I
can actually do this, because Iam switching styles and the
style is completely different,like everything's different.
So I was like really excitedthat I could do it.
And then, you know, the nextaudition maybe I was focusing a
bit more on my tone because, youknow, the embouchure is

(09:20):
different, the breathing isdifferent, so my tone had
changed.
So focusing on really getting alovely tone, and maybe that is
my goal in the audition.
And other people are like youknow, the people who are
watching me are thinking, okay,do we want her in the audition?
And other people are like youknow, the people who are
watching me are thinking, okay,do we want her in the orchestra,
or do we want her to do this orthat, the other?
But my goal is I'm gonna showyou this tone that I've really

(09:40):
been working on, and so that isa personal goal.
So I challenge you to create apersonal goal for yourself and
focus on that, because the factthat you know that, whether you
get into the orchestra or youpass the exam or you, whatever
you're trying to do, that is notyou know.
That's on the person listeningright.
Your goal is whatever you wantto share and that is something

(10:04):
that you can focus on Now.
On the idea of audition prep andall of these things like
audition prep, exam prep,performance prep, whatever
you're doing, a great thing tohelp with that and also to help
kind of work through theperformance anxiety is to plan
your practice, and a great toolthat I have been using to plan

(10:25):
my practice is using a notablepractice journal.
Honestly, this journal hasreally changed the game for my
practice.
It is a great space for me toplan my practice and also
reflect At the end of the week.
There are also reflectionquestions that you can fill out
and it really helps me to justmake sure that every practice

(10:47):
session has some direction andis focused and effective.
So this journal has reallyhelped me and as soon as I
realized that it was helping me,I knew that I had to tell you
about it and I knew that I hadto give you a code.
So use code Eleanor15 for 15%off your journal and let's get
some effective practice going.
All right, you know that Idon't recommend anything, that I

(11:11):
don't absolutely love.
This code is an affiliate code,which means I do receive a
commission with no extra cost toyou, and the link for getting
your journal will be in thedescription, as well as the code
in the description and the shownotes.
All right, let's do a bit of arecap thing.
Every world-class musician wasnervous for their

(11:33):
fill-in-the-blank of whateveryou're doing.
You are no different.
This has really helped groundme and realize that I can go as
far as my favorite musician hasgone.
The next thing is nerves.
Don't take away from what I cando.
It's just kind of likesprinkles on a cupcake.
The cupcake is still there andyou'll taste the cupcake.
The next thing is creating apersonal goal for yourself,

(11:55):
whatever it is.
Maybe you know the obvious goalis to pass the thing or get
into the thing or get into theprogram or whatever it is.
What is that goal for you?
What do you want out of thisaudition personally?
It's really helpful to focus onthat.
All right, that is about it forthis episode.
Thank you so much for hangingout with me today.
If you did enjoy this, pleasedo share the love, like,

(12:18):
subscribe, comment, follow andtell all your musician friends
about this episode.
All right, I will see you inthe next episode.
All right, take care.
Bye-bye.