March 5, 2025 • 16 mins
In this episode, we’re diving into the power of surrender—why letting go of the need to control everything can bring more freedom, clarity, and confidence than we ever imagined. Whether you’re navigating a season of transition, loss, or uncertainty, learning to trust the process can be one of the most empowering steps you take.
Key Discussion Points
- Why letting go isn’t giving up—it’s creating space for what’s next
- The difference between surrender and control
- How to navigate uncertainty with faith and confidence
- Why the waiting season is still a season of growth
- How to release pressure and trust that you are exactly where you need to be
Top Quotes
“Real strength isn’t found in pushing harder—it’s found in surrendering to what’s ahead.”
“Letting go of control doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means trusting that what’s next is greater than what you’re leaving behind.”
“Freedom isn’t found in knowing all the answers. It’s found in releasing the weight of what no longer serves you.”
Timestamps
[00:00] Why this season feels like a turning point
[01:00] Letting go of what was and embracing what’s next
[03:00] Why we wait for clarity and why “being ready” is a myth
[06:30] Navigating unexpected transitions, losses, and changes
[08:45] Moving from force to surrender[
10:30] What true surrender looks like in practice
[13:00] Three steps to navigate uncertainty with confidence
[15:45] Why freedom isn’t found in having all the answers
[18:00] How surrender leads to renewed confidence and purpose
Resources Mentioned
- The Fit From Within Journal – 60 days of guided journaling to help you reflect, release, and realign.
- 5 Steps to Break Free from the Hustle – Download your free guide to let go of stress and find true success.
- The Confident Woman Impact Accelerator – An 8-week journey to realign your career, life, and leadership with your purpose.
Community & Resources
➡ Listen to more episodes: The Confident Woman Podcast
➡ Join our community: The Confident Woman Group
➡ Get weekly inspiration: Subscribe to the newsletter
Connect with Rachel:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey there and welcome to the Confident Woman podcast.
(00:06):
I'm your host Rachel Brooks.
Join me as I sit down and chat with co-hosts, friends, and carefully curated guests and
talk about all the things that empower you to become your best and most confident self.
So let's get started.
Hey there and welcome back.
So we are in a whole new season and this time of year it always feels like it's the turning
(00:30):
point.
It feels like there's this sense of renewal and just this season of growth and change.
And you ask, it's one of my favorite times of the year because as we go from the different
seasons if we look at it that way, there's so much that is laying dormant and growing
(00:53):
in the darkness.
But if I'm being honest, sometimes that transition period, that in between, that period of what
was and what's next, it can feel really, really hard.
Especially as we're going into this new season we have to learn to let go of what was.
(01:16):
And so maybe you are in this space right now.
Maybe you're waiting for clarity and direction and all the things.
Or maybe you are waiting for that feeling of being ready before you can take that next
best step.
I get it.
Believe me, I do.
I have been there probably one too many times.
(01:37):
And if we're being honest with ourselves, there is no such thing as being ready.
No amount of planning and preparation can make us feel any more ready than sometimes
just taking the plunge and jumping into that deep end.
So today I want to talk about something that has been on my heart lately.
(02:00):
And it is surrender.
So when we look at letting go, what does that exactly mean?
And how do we go from letting go into a place of surrender?
So letting go of what was and what we thought life would look like in learning to trust
that even in the unknown we are being guided exactly where we need to be.
(02:26):
And but if there's one thing I've learned over these past few years, it's this.
Life doesn't always go as planned, right?
Like how many times, like I said, no amount of planning or preparation could prepare us
for what's to come.
And when we're able to just let go and trust and lean into what is and what could be, there's
(02:47):
so much magic and beauty that lies on that other side.
So when we think that we have to know the path, we set our goals and we map out that
vision and we end up hustling so hard to make that thing or things happen.
And then what happens?
I don't know where life throws us a curveball.
It throws us something that we could never in a million gazillion years see that coming.
(03:14):
Never right?
So when that stuff happens to you, it's like, what do we do?
How do we pick ourselves back up?
What is our pivotal moment that can change the trajectory and get us back on our feet
and rebuilding and reclaiming that confidence?
Maybe it's a relationship that changed.
(03:35):
Maybe it's the loss that left you questioning everything and leaving a gigantic void in
a hole that doesn't even feel possible to heal or mend.
And you know what, to be honest, that's where I am.
That's exactly where I am in this very moment in the very season of my life.
(03:56):
But whatever it is, I want you to know it's okay.
And you don't have to have everything all figured out.
You don't have to have all the answers right now.
But what you do need to have and know is that you are exactly where you need to be in this
(04:18):
very moment.
Sometimes it's taking a look around at all the shattered pieces that have just fallen
and you're trying to figure out how to put everything back together again.
So for me, for a long time, I believed that the strength that I had had to be applied
(04:41):
into using it for the betterment, right?
For the good, right?
So for so long, I believed that strength meant pushing through, figuring it out and staying
in control.
But what I've come to realize is that real strength, it's found in surrender.
Not in giving up, but in letting go of the need to control every outcome.
(05:06):
In trusting that even when things feel uncertain, we're being led into something greater.
There's something beyond what we can't imagine or see.
And that's where we have to fully trust and surrender.
That something greater than what is, has yet to come.
And if you're like me, standing in the middle of these shattered pieces and you have nothing
(05:29):
left and this void and this longing and this hole and this period, whatever that looks
like for you, you have to know that something better because you have nothing left to lose
at this point.
And so not giving in or giving up, but in trusting and letting go of the need to control
every outcome and trusting that no matter what, there's something to be gained from
(05:56):
any sort of loss, any sort of transitional period that is no longer aligned with where
you are or who you are.
And so when we talk about surrender, I want to hone in on the idea that sometimes surrender
can feel like reckless abandonment.
But in the context of where I'm at in this message for today is that surrender doesn't
(06:21):
mean sitting back and doing nothing.
It doesn't mean we stop showing up for ourselves or stop taking care of ourselves and stop
taking action.
It simply means we stop forcing things that are no longer aligned.
It means we let go of the pressure to have it all figured out.
We stop chasing after things that no longer serve us.
(06:44):
And instead, we open ourselves up to the possibility we could never have planned for.
And for me, surrender has looked like letting go of the versions of success that those titles,
roles, and identities and letting go of those past versions of who I once was.
(07:07):
And I think that sometimes that could feel the heaviest and weightiest because the person
that you are and the person you believe that you are becoming, when that no longer aligns,
you start to question your identity and your purpose.
And you start asking yourself, well, then what could be?
(07:30):
And that is a great place to be and a great question to ask because what was is no more.
But what could be has yet to come.
So that's the question of what is on the other side?
What could be made possible?
Right?
So sometimes it takes getting curious.
(07:51):
And having those intentional shifts can change the narrative and it can also change the future
outcome for a hope that could be.
And so releasing the pressure to always know that next step is a release of control.
And when we release control, we're letting go.
(08:12):
We're entrusting again that something greater is yet to come.
As recovering perfectionists like I am and like so many of you are that I hear, or even
if you're not a perfectionist, we all love control, right?
Who doesn't want to know what comes next?
Who doesn't want to plan and prepare?
Who doesn't want to have some sort of power and certainty?
(08:38):
So trusting that even in this waiting, even in this uncertainty, that there is purpose
in the season.
So maybe for you surrender means giving yourself permission to slow down, to stop forcing things
that feel heavy, to trust that you don't have to have all the answers today.
(09:01):
So how do we actually do this?
How do we surrender without feeling like we're losing control?
Well here are three things that I'm focusing on right now and hopefully they can help you
too.
Is one, release what's weighing you down.
Ask yourself, what am I holding on to that no longer serves me?
(09:23):
Maybe it's the pressure to be perfect.
Maybe it's the pressure for the need of control.
Maybe it's the pressure to have everything in your favor, right?
Perfect control aspect.
Maybe it's the pressure to rid that toxic mindset or even plan what isn't working.
(09:50):
Maybe it's the idea that letting go is exactly what you need.
So trusting that everything will work out.
And secondly, trust that the next step will reveal itself.
You don't have to have the whole path figured out.
(10:12):
You just need to take the right next step.
So my question to you is, what's one thing you can do today that aligns with who you're
becoming?
Three, create space for new possibilities.
When we hold on to things out of fear, we no longer have room for what is meant for
(10:33):
us.
So let this be the season where you make that space, that intentional space for what's next,
even if you don't know what that is or what it looks like yet.
And so when we can let go, we surrender.
And I always look at that as this divide, this gap.
(10:53):
And I think for many of us, when we look at the alternative, the opposite, and probably
where we're at in these seasons is that our goal is to bridge the gap, to close the gap,
to jump over the gap, to use that as a hurdle to get to that next level.
But in the slowing down season and in this process, sometimes it's taking a good, long,
hard look at that gap.
(11:15):
And instead of taking those next best quick fixes or shortcuts to bridge that gap, sometimes
it's just about standing on the edge and looking over and down and weighing the options
and giving yourself that breathing room and giving yourself that time and distance and
(11:37):
space to allow in anything and everything.
Because when you have options, you have choices.
And when you have choices, you can start making those best decisions.
And those decisions will lead us to the outcomes that we anticipate and hope for, but in a
(11:57):
more positive way that didn't leave us where we are at the starting point today.
So I know surrender is not easy.
It's not.
It takes a lot of trust.
It takes a lot of self-trust.
And it takes patience.
And I don't know about you, but God did not bless me with an abundance of patience.
(12:23):
Patience is something I have to consistently pray for an increased capacity of.
And it's also something throughout the day that I'm reminded to check in and to be patient
in this waiting season, in this transitional period.
And sometimes that waiting period, it feels like we're walking in this dark season.
(12:47):
It feels like that hope that we had anticipated is gone.
That hope becomes hopeless.
But my goal for today's episode is to really help provide hope and encouragement.
Because even in that darkness, there's always light.
There's always something to be gained when we let go.
(13:08):
Because in letting go, we create a loss, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether
life has thrown us that curveball, or we have decided on our own accord to change things
up and do something different.
And no matter what it is or where you're at, I want you to know that you're not alone
(13:29):
in this.
And this is why I created this space, this platform, this podcast, our community, everything
is here to remind you that even in moments of uncertainty, even in the waiting, you are
still moving forward.
How cool is that?
We never fail unless we give up and give in and do absolutely nothing.
(13:53):
Taking in and being inactive isn't necessarily a sign of weakness or failure, but the inactivity
of intentionally pausing, again, creates opportunities, it creates that space.
And so if you're in this place, in this season, I want to invite you to lean in and surrender,
(14:21):
to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should, and to know that freedom isn't
found in having all the answers, but it's found in letting go and trusting that process.
And with freedom becomes a renewed sense of purpose, identity, and confidence.
(14:42):
And so I hope today's episode resonates with you.
And if there is a season or a period that you're experiencing and you want to share
and you want to let others in, or just have somebody hold that space for you, let's connect.
Send me a DM, join the community group, have these conversations, because sometimes that
(15:06):
small act of courage to speak up and speak out is exactly what you need to empower yourself,
but it gives permission to others to do the same.
And so if that's you, I encourage you to find that next best pillar of support that
works for you in this season, because you are not meant to do life alone.
(15:28):
And this journey we call life, filled with ups, downs, curveballs, all the things, right?
And so as part of our walk in faith and confidence, it's to trust, it's to surrender by letting
go and knowing that you have the power to choose.
And that is something that nobody can change except you.
(15:53):
So if you're looking for more support, whether it's through journaling, community, or resources
to help you navigate the season, I've got some exciting things coming and I can't wait
to share them with you.
And also, if you can't wait and you're excited to dive in, check the links in the show notes.
We have so many things that will help empower you on your next step of your journey.
(16:17):
So remember this, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are enough exactly as you are.
And together, let's continue creating a life of freedom, passion, and purpose.
So until next time, take care.
Hey there, thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of the Confident Woman
(16:38):
podcast.
If you enjoyed today's episode as much as I did, please be sure to like, subscribe,
and leave us a review.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you next time.
Bye.
Hey there and welcome to the Confident Woman podcast.
(00:06):
I'm your host Rachel Brooks.
Join me as I sit down and chat with co-hosts, friends, and carefully curated guests and
talk about all the things that empower you to become your best and most confident self.
So let's get started.
Hey there and welcome back.
So we are in a whole new season and this time of year it always feels like it's the turning
(00:30):
point.
It feels like there's this sense of renewal and just this season of growth and change.
And you ask, it's one of my favorite times of the year because as we go from the different
seasons if we look at it that way, there's so much that is laying dormant and growing
(00:53):
in the darkness.
But if I'm being honest, sometimes that transition period, that in between, that period of what
was and what's next, it can feel really, really hard.
Especially as we're going into this new season we have to learn to let go of what was.
(01:16):
And so maybe you are in this space right now.
Maybe you're waiting for clarity and direction and all the things.
Or maybe you are waiting for that feeling of being ready before you can take that next
best step.
I get it.
Believe me, I do.
I have been there probably one too many times.
(01:37):
And if we're being honest with ourselves, there is no such thing as being ready.
No amount of planning and preparation can make us feel any more ready than sometimes
just taking the plunge and jumping into that deep end.
So today I want to talk about something that has been on my heart lately.
(02:00):
And it is surrender.
So when we look at letting go, what does that exactly mean?
And how do we go from letting go into a place of surrender?
So letting go of what was and what we thought life would look like in learning to trust
that even in the unknown we are being guided exactly where we need to be.
(02:26):
And but if there's one thing I've learned over these past few years, it's this.
Life doesn't always go as planned, right?
Like how many times, like I said, no amount of planning or preparation could prepare us
for what's to come.
And when we're able to just let go and trust and lean into what is and what could be, there's
(02:47):
so much magic and beauty that lies on that other side.
So when we think that we have to know the path, we set our goals and we map out that
vision and we end up hustling so hard to make that thing or things happen.
And then what happens?
I don't know where life throws us a curveball.
It throws us something that we could never in a million gazillion years see that coming.
(03:14):
Never right?
So when that stuff happens to you, it's like, what do we do?
How do we pick ourselves back up?
What is our pivotal moment that can change the trajectory and get us back on our feet
and rebuilding and reclaiming that confidence?
Maybe it's a relationship that changed.
(03:35):
Maybe it's the loss that left you questioning everything and leaving a gigantic void in
a hole that doesn't even feel possible to heal or mend.
And you know what, to be honest, that's where I am.
That's exactly where I am in this very moment in the very season of my life.
(03:56):
But whatever it is, I want you to know it's okay.
And you don't have to have everything all figured out.
You don't have to have all the answers right now.
But what you do need to have and know is that you are exactly where you need to be in this
(04:18):
very moment.
Sometimes it's taking a look around at all the shattered pieces that have just fallen
and you're trying to figure out how to put everything back together again.
So for me, for a long time, I believed that the strength that I had had to be applied
(04:41):
into using it for the betterment, right?
For the good, right?
So for so long, I believed that strength meant pushing through, figuring it out and staying
in control.
But what I've come to realize is that real strength, it's found in surrender.
Not in giving up, but in letting go of the need to control every outcome.
(05:06):
In trusting that even when things feel uncertain, we're being led into something greater.
There's something beyond what we can't imagine or see.
And that's where we have to fully trust and surrender.
That something greater than what is, has yet to come.
And if you're like me, standing in the middle of these shattered pieces and you have nothing
(05:29):
left and this void and this longing and this hole and this period, whatever that looks
like for you, you have to know that something better because you have nothing left to lose
at this point.
And so not giving in or giving up, but in trusting and letting go of the need to control
every outcome and trusting that no matter what, there's something to be gained from
(05:56):
any sort of loss, any sort of transitional period that is no longer aligned with where
you are or who you are.
And so when we talk about surrender, I want to hone in on the idea that sometimes surrender
can feel like reckless abandonment.
But in the context of where I'm at in this message for today is that surrender doesn't
(06:21):
mean sitting back and doing nothing.
It doesn't mean we stop showing up for ourselves or stop taking care of ourselves and stop
taking action.
It simply means we stop forcing things that are no longer aligned.
It means we let go of the pressure to have it all figured out.
We stop chasing after things that no longer serve us.
(06:44):
And instead, we open ourselves up to the possibility we could never have planned for.
And for me, surrender has looked like letting go of the versions of success that those titles,
roles, and identities and letting go of those past versions of who I once was.
(07:07):
And I think that sometimes that could feel the heaviest and weightiest because the person
that you are and the person you believe that you are becoming, when that no longer aligns,
you start to question your identity and your purpose.
And you start asking yourself, well, then what could be?
(07:30):
And that is a great place to be and a great question to ask because what was is no more.
But what could be has yet to come.
So that's the question of what is on the other side?
What could be made possible?
Right?
So sometimes it takes getting curious.
(07:51):
And having those intentional shifts can change the narrative and it can also change the future
outcome for a hope that could be.
And so releasing the pressure to always know that next step is a release of control.
And when we release control, we're letting go.
(08:12):
We're entrusting again that something greater is yet to come.
As recovering perfectionists like I am and like so many of you are that I hear, or even
if you're not a perfectionist, we all love control, right?
Who doesn't want to know what comes next?
Who doesn't want to plan and prepare?
Who doesn't want to have some sort of power and certainty?
(08:38):
So trusting that even in this waiting, even in this uncertainty, that there is purpose
in the season.
So maybe for you surrender means giving yourself permission to slow down, to stop forcing things
that feel heavy, to trust that you don't have to have all the answers today.
(09:01):
So how do we actually do this?
How do we surrender without feeling like we're losing control?
Well here are three things that I'm focusing on right now and hopefully they can help you
too.
Is one, release what's weighing you down.
Ask yourself, what am I holding on to that no longer serves me?
(09:23):
Maybe it's the pressure to be perfect.
Maybe it's the pressure for the need of control.
Maybe it's the pressure to have everything in your favor, right?
Perfect control aspect.
Maybe it's the pressure to rid that toxic mindset or even plan what isn't working.
(09:50):
Maybe it's the idea that letting go is exactly what you need.
So trusting that everything will work out.
And secondly, trust that the next step will reveal itself.
You don't have to have the whole path figured out.
(10:12):
You just need to take the right next step.
So my question to you is, what's one thing you can do today that aligns with who you're
becoming?
Three, create space for new possibilities.
When we hold on to things out of fear, we no longer have room for what is meant for
(10:33):
us.
So let this be the season where you make that space, that intentional space for what's next,
even if you don't know what that is or what it looks like yet.
And so when we can let go, we surrender.
And I always look at that as this divide, this gap.
(10:53):
And I think for many of us, when we look at the alternative, the opposite, and probably
where we're at in these seasons is that our goal is to bridge the gap, to close the gap,
to jump over the gap, to use that as a hurdle to get to that next level.
But in the slowing down season and in this process, sometimes it's taking a good, long,
hard look at that gap.
(11:15):
And instead of taking those next best quick fixes or shortcuts to bridge that gap, sometimes
it's just about standing on the edge and looking over and down and weighing the options
and giving yourself that breathing room and giving yourself that time and distance and
(11:37):
space to allow in anything and everything.
Because when you have options, you have choices.
And when you have choices, you can start making those best decisions.
And those decisions will lead us to the outcomes that we anticipate and hope for, but in a
(11:57):
more positive way that didn't leave us where we are at the starting point today.
So I know surrender is not easy.
It's not.
It takes a lot of trust.
It takes a lot of self-trust.
And it takes patience.
And I don't know about you, but God did not bless me with an abundance of patience.
(12:23):
Patience is something I have to consistently pray for an increased capacity of.
And it's also something throughout the day that I'm reminded to check in and to be patient
in this waiting season, in this transitional period.
And sometimes that waiting period, it feels like we're walking in this dark season.
(12:47):
It feels like that hope that we had anticipated is gone.
That hope becomes hopeless.
But my goal for today's episode is to really help provide hope and encouragement.
Because even in that darkness, there's always light.
There's always something to be gained when we let go.
(13:08):
Because in letting go, we create a loss, whether intentionally or unintentionally, whether
life has thrown us that curveball, or we have decided on our own accord to change things
up and do something different.
And no matter what it is or where you're at, I want you to know that you're not alone
(13:29):
in this.
And this is why I created this space, this platform, this podcast, our community, everything
is here to remind you that even in moments of uncertainty, even in the waiting, you are
still moving forward.
How cool is that?
We never fail unless we give up and give in and do absolutely nothing.
(13:53):
Taking in and being inactive isn't necessarily a sign of weakness or failure, but the inactivity
of intentionally pausing, again, creates opportunities, it creates that space.
And so if you're in this place, in this season, I want to invite you to lean in and surrender,
(14:21):
to trust that everything is unfolding exactly as it should, and to know that freedom isn't
found in having all the answers, but it's found in letting go and trusting that process.
And with freedom becomes a renewed sense of purpose, identity, and confidence.
(14:42):
And so I hope today's episode resonates with you.
And if there is a season or a period that you're experiencing and you want to share
and you want to let others in, or just have somebody hold that space for you, let's connect.
Send me a DM, join the community group, have these conversations, because sometimes that
(15:06):
small act of courage to speak up and speak out is exactly what you need to empower yourself,
but it gives permission to others to do the same.
And so if that's you, I encourage you to find that next best pillar of support that
works for you in this season, because you are not meant to do life alone.
(15:28):
And this journey we call life, filled with ups, downs, curveballs, all the things, right?
And so as part of our walk in faith and confidence, it's to trust, it's to surrender by letting
go and knowing that you have the power to choose.
And that is something that nobody can change except you.
(15:53):
So if you're looking for more support, whether it's through journaling, community, or resources
to help you navigate the season, I've got some exciting things coming and I can't wait
to share them with you.
And also, if you can't wait and you're excited to dive in, check the links in the show notes.
We have so many things that will help empower you on your next step of your journey.
(16:17):
So remember this, you are loved, you are worthy, and you are enough exactly as you are.
And together, let's continue creating a life of freedom, passion, and purpose.
So until next time, take care.
Hey there, thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of the Confident Woman
(16:38):
podcast.
If you enjoyed today's episode as much as I did, please be sure to like, subscribe,
and leave us a review.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you next time.
Bye.
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