June 18, 2025 • 49 mins
The power of genuine connection threads through this conversation between longtime friends Jay Miralles and DeDee Oliver, who reconnect after nearly three decades to share insights that span professional wisdom and deeply personal memories.
DeDee opens up about her remarkable 27-year journey in real estate, revealing how the industry transformed from three-ring binders with listings and paper maps to today's digital landscape. Her success secret? Blending traditional relationship-building practices with modern technology. "The heart of my business is built on referrals," she shares, describing how she's helped multiple generations of families find homes. This philosophy of authentic connection has sustained her career while many others came and went.
The conversation takes a powerful turn when DeDee shares the story of her father, Marvin Edward Park, who was killed in action during Vietnam when she was just 13 months old. Though she has no personal memories of him, her father's presence has been kept alive through family stories and a precious book created by his war buddies containing photographs and accounts from his service. "How do you miss something that you never knew? But you do," DeDee reflects, in a moment that speaks to the universal experience of loss and remembrance.
Jay announces he'll be honoring Marvin during the upcoming 50 Mile March, carrying his photo and sharing his story. Their exchange reveals how listening to others' experiences—really listening, not just hearing—creates meaningful bonds that enrich our lives. As Jay notes, "We've lost the art of connection, and as I get older, that gets more and more important." Whether you're building business relationships or preserving family legacies, this episode reminds us that genuine connection remains our most valuable resource.
Pictures for Reference of Marvin E Park
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Opener (00:11):
connecting the dots, connecting his guests to the
world, creating more connections.
Welcome to the connection.
Meet your host.
Author, coach.
Air coach, air Force veteranJay Morales.
Jay (00:30):
I am joined by my friend, Dedee Oliver today and I'm so
excited because DeDee and I met29 years ago-ish.
Oh, at least, at least.
Yeah, and my hair was black.
It was, it was very black, andI was really cool back then, but
anyway, so, didi, let's justjump right into it.
So you got back from England,right, was that England?
(00:54):
Yes, and I remember our friend.
How did we connect?
Was that right?
And she introduced us and takeit from there.
DeDee (01:05):
How old were we?
I was like 21, 22.
I think we were a little olderthan that Really, because I had
Cale and Kylie.
Jay (01:10):
Yes, yes, yes and.
DeDee (01:11):
I had them, so we were later 20s.
I think we were 26, 27.
Jay (01:16):
Yeah, okay, could be.
Gosh, my lines are blurred, butit was a long time ago.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, and Didi and I have beenfriends.
We've kept in contact.
Every now and then We'verandomly run into each other,
but as a profession, we have runinto each other even more in
real estate.
So, didi, tell everyone nowwhat you are doing currently and
(01:38):
how long you've been a realtor.
DeDee (01:40):
Yes, Currently I am an associate broker at PJ Morgan.
I have been in real estatesince 1990.
Jay (01:48):
That's a long time.
DeDee (01:50):
Yeah, yes, yeah, so just a career that I have loved, and
it gives you the flexibility andthe freedom to be an on-hands
mom and never miss a kid's event, be able to be home during
vacation and sick days, and so Ilove it.
Jay (02:03):
And I've watched you grow.
I mean, I remember when we lostcontact for a while and then
you popped up back on the radaras a realtor.
I was like she's a realtor.
This is so cool, you know.
And just talking amongst ourfriends, you know, when we
weren't talking, how they'veeither used your services or
they used you as their agent oryou've given them advice.
(02:26):
And it was almost surreal to mebecause, like I said, when we
met we were barely, we were justolder kids, and life has a way
of taking everyone to their ownpath but also reconnecting with
everybody.
So let's talk about that.
You as a realtor, you talkedabout the flexibility and a
little bit about raising family.
I get that, but how have youbeen involved?
So since 98, that makes it howmany years now?
(02:48):
27.
Think about that.
For a second right, mostrealtors don't last but two to
four years, right?
They figure they'll try it,they'll get on Instagram,
they'll sell a house one timeand then it's hard.
Yeah, 27 years.
So what all things have youdone in your 27 years?
Some of the?
Have you ever served on acommittee?
Have you served it on a boardor anything like that?
DeDee (03:09):
Well, Jay, when I started , we didn't have the MLS.
Jay (03:13):
Right Pictures?
I mean right Were they?
Were they pictures in a bookwhere you used to go to people's
offices, right?
DeDee (03:18):
We would have a three ring binder very similar to this
, with all of your officelistings in it, and you would
hang your listings on your dooror in your window so people
could see what you had, and wedid like agent tours to see all
the new listings online, becausethere was no online database.
Jay (03:36):
Oh my God, I just thought about that because you're right,
it was literally.
And then the keys were in.
DeDee (03:42):
Well, we had like a little key that just opened
every single lockbox, with nolike electronic tracking or any
of that sort of stuff.
We faxed offers back and forthor I would call and say, hey,
jay, I got an offer for you onyour property.
Where are you?
And you'd be like I'm at dinnerand I'm like, ok, I'm on my way
, and I would hand you aphysical and then you would have
to go to your client's house,yes, and then you would have to
(04:05):
call me and get it.
I mean, it was like a wholething.
Jay (04:08):
Yeah, I mean, I just thought about that 27 years ago
and then you know you wereeither like you said there was
no electronic signatures oranything like that, there was no
dot loop, there was no, therewas no GPS.
That you know what.
That probably held me fromgoing in earlier because I get
(04:28):
lost with directions.
But think about this you had toknow Omaha 27 years ago, or the
area, or Iowa.
DeDee (04:35):
And we had maps in our car.
I mean, we had literal, youknow the kind that like hold 12
times and you pull yes, get outof here.
Jay (04:42):
And then I'm sure after a while you became very acclimated
to hey Dodge separates.
I still don't know that system.
I still don't know.
Oh, jay, it's north of whatever.
I'm like just give me theaddress.
It means nothing.
People say do you needdirections?
DeDee (04:57):
I'm like no, just give me the coordinates, tell me, turn
north.
Jay (05:00):
I don't know, is it past McDonald's or not?
DeDee (05:04):
Right or left, it's pretty good.
Jay (05:06):
You know, when they say on the southwestern corner of
so-and-so, I'm like what?
Just say it in plain English.
So what are some of the thingsthat you want people to know
about that time versus now?
Or what are some of the thingsthat have helped you now,
because you grew up in theschool of hard knocks?
DeDee (05:26):
You know I did and you learn.
I mean just the consistency andthe tenacity to continue to.
You know I've learned a lot inthe last few years.
As you know, my kids are now inreal estate, which I love it
Very amazing.
And you know I wasn't superinto the social media thing or
(05:48):
AI or any of the things, andthey've really taught me that
that stuff is important too.
Yes, but I've been able toteach them that the old school
stuff.
Jay (05:59):
I think that compliments your team, because you got a lot
of people who are all socialmedia.
Your team because you got a lotof people who are all social
media.
No follow-up on client partiesor handwritten notes, phone
calls, client appreciationevents, things of that nature.
It's all Instagram, right, butyou're right.
Yeah, how have theyincorporated some of that into
their business?
DeDee (06:18):
I think it's kind of a coming together right.
Both of them are superimportant.
Building a business on Facebook, instagram, tiktok, all of
those things is much faster thanwhat we did back in the day.
You can only sit in so manyopen houses, you can only do so
much, but now all of the thingsthat they do with the follow-up
that I've taught them, that'simportant is really building a
(06:41):
strong business for them.
Jay (06:42):
It's a client retention strategy because it's really
easy to transact.
One time meet someone on Zillow, be like all right, dave and
Karen, thank you so much.
You give a hug, you give a boxof presents and then you never
contact them again.
DeDee (06:57):
Right, and then they use somebody else when they go to
sell that house that they neverreferred.
Jay (07:01):
Yes, and it's more than just putting a magnet on the
fridge right.
And yes, and it's more thanjust putting a magnet on the
fridge right and the heart of mybusiness, Jay, is built on
referrals.
I can only imagineMulti-generation.
DeDee (07:10):
Multi.
Yes, I have a client that comesto mind that we've done three
transactions and I've donetransactions with their kids.
Jay (07:17):
Oh, yes, that's when you know the kids that were little,
little little in our firsttransaction.
I bet you get calls like hey, Iknow you don't know me, but you
helped my sister or my cousin,or they told me to call you and
those are blessings becausemaybe you may not have spoken
with that client or had directcontact.
(07:38):
You sent them notes, you sentthem, you know emails or you
sent them newsletters.
But there's some clients thatreally just they don't interact.
But when they send you areferral from their family
member oh hey, daryl sent me,like what you know?
Those are the best blessingsthat I think we're getting in
this industry.
With all the technology and allthe reports and all the data,
that's cool and everything, butthe data doesn't talk about
(08:00):
relationships.
DeDee (08:01):
There's no way you can measure that right, right, and
it is a relationship business.
If you want to make real estateeasier, build the relationships
, I agree, because they'll startto come back around in three
years or five years and thenyou're not spending money on
leads that maybe don't turn intoanything.
Right, it's a hundred percentrelationship and you've got to
(08:22):
have good relationships.
Jay (08:23):
Plus, wouldn't you say that person, even you know that
you've, that you've helped guidethree times.
They know you, they trust you.
There's no fight.
It's all about like Didi helpedme, she steered me right once,
twice, three times.
But if you don't keep incontact with them, if you don't
make yourself known to them, ifyou don't stay relevant is what
(08:46):
I call it right.
And staying relevant doesn'tmean saying, hey, daryl, I just
want to give you a CMA.
No, it's hey, your kids aregraduating college now, or
graduating high school, orthey're entering grade school.
Those are all milestones Ithink people miss.
But I think, if you, no, I'mnot going to turn down a sign
call.
No, absolutely not, but if myclient calls me and says Jay, we
(09:10):
need your help again, thatconversation is just so much
more pleasant.
DeDee (09:15):
For everybody.
There's no tension, there's nofight.
Opener (09:19):
Right.
Suggestions are only one time.
DeDee (09:22):
And the referrals they give you aren't hard either,
because they're referring peoplethat know and trust and love
them.
So it's so important and Ithink some agents miss the mark
on that.
Jay (09:35):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I can tell you.
I think you know my first fewyears I was just happy to have a
client right.
And as time has gone by, beckyhas been doing this for 14 years
.
My wife has been doing this for14 years and maybe longer.
But I see themulti-generational, I see the
kids, kids buying, and I see thepeople that she has built a
(09:56):
long standing relationship with.
They're pleasant, they arecordial and they are like yes,
we trust you, without sayingthat, you know.
Plus, think of all the time youlose when you have to convince
somebody and you're like, hey,vinny, this is not the right way
to do it, oh well.
Or hey, mary, you know, this isnot the house for you.
We love this house, you know.
(10:16):
It's all the little things wedon't think about.
Opener (10:18):
Yeah.
Jay (10:20):
What do you think about real estate in general?
Like next five years, you know?
I mean, you've been doing itfor 27.
Next five years, you hearrealtors have different opinions
like, oh my God, the sky isfalling.
Or hey, this is going to be anamazing market.
Like I don't pay attention toany one person.
What do you think?
What does DeeDee Oliver think?
DeDee (10:46):
Like okay, what is in it for DeeDee for the next five
years, or realtors in general?
in Nebraska and I really don'tpay a lot of attention to some
of the doom and gloom forecaststhat are out there for real
estate, because it will send youon a cycle of just thinking
you're defeated before you're.
People are always going to buyand sell real estate.
They have to, and we live in amilitary community where that's
even more prevalent than otherplaces.
So there's always going to bepeople who have to sell for some
(11:09):
reason, right, and you justneed to be the person that's in
front of them.
That's true right.
And if you don't worry about allof the other things, or
interest rates going up or down,are we going to hit a recession
?
Are we going to do this?
I mean, I lived through that2008, you know, and it wasn't a
horrible year for me, buteveryone in my office was
talking about the doom and gloomand there's not going to be any
(11:31):
houses and all of the things.
We sold a ton, but we had toshift our focus to the
foreclosures.
So it's knowing kind of what'scoming up and we don't have
those now, right, true?
Jay (11:44):
True, we don't.
DeDee (11:45):
So, but people are still buying and selling.
I have first-time home buyersthat are fighting for homes
still.
Jay (11:50):
Yes, yes.
DeDee (11:51):
And then I have those in the $400,000 range listings that
are.
They're taking a little bitmore time right now.
Jay (11:57):
And that's okay, right, but , like you said, there are
(12:18):
people I call them hype headswhich you know.
I hope they don't know who theyare, but I call them hype heads
.
They, oh my God, jay, did yousee what just happened?
We just dropped a quarter point.
Your phone's going to be busy.
I don't pay attention to thenoise, I don't pay attention to
the opinions, you know.
Am I planning for a goodpipeline?
Absolutely.
Am I serving?
Am I staying in touch?
But I can't sit there for fourhours and go.
I hope so-and-so.
Hope is not a strategy, and therealtors that you hang out with,
too, are important.
So, over 27 years, there'srealtors that you've got to know
really, really well andrealtors that you wish would do
(12:40):
a little bit better.
Right, it's funny to me thatthere's a community in Omaha
that really of realtors thatreally know how to reach out.
They really know how to connect.
Being on the other side of thetable, it's not about them.
You know what I mean, and I'veseen plenty of great agents.
Give me some advice for anagent on the other side of the
(13:01):
transaction that is just makingit difficult, and and maybe what
advice you'd give somebody.
I know that's a hard question,but you know what.
Be direct, who cares?
I've been on the other side ofcrazy people.
DeDee (13:15):
Yeah, well, and I can tell you stories.
I tell my team stories when I'mtraining new agents on my team
or within my company.
I tell them a lot of thestories that have helped me get
to where I'm at.
And you know, don't be a jerkon the other side of the
transaction.
We all have the same goal,right?
Yes, the goal is to get thisthing to the closing table,
(13:36):
absolutely, and working togetheris always the best strategy.
Jay (13:40):
It is because people remember you.
I just remember there arepeople that on my first few
transactions they were just sogiving and so I will remember
them forever, you know, and Iwant to go out of the way to
make sure that when I'm donewith the transaction, not only
for my client, but to make sureto show a little bit of
appreciation.
It goes a long way and itdoesn't have to be very
(14:01):
expensive at all.
DeDee (14:02):
It could be a car and it doesn't have to be expensive at
all.
Jay (14:05):
Right hey.
DeDee (14:06):
I really appreciated working with you.
So let me tell you a quickstory.
Yes, when we were in the marketthe crazy, crazy market where
you know, 12 offers on a houseand over and all the things
right, Right In the parking lotyeah Right, it came on the
market five minutes ago.
I had two instances where, youknow, we were one of multiple,
(14:26):
multiple offers and, for allpractical purposes, these offers
were exactly the same, Likeevery single thing was exactly
the same.
And I heard this story twiceand one of the agents called me
up and she said we're going withyour offer.
And here's what it came down to.
They said how do we choose?
They're the same.
How do we choose?
They're the same.
How do we choose?
And she said I can tell youwhich agent will be the best one
(14:49):
to work with.
It happened twice.
It's so true Because if it's meand I'm easy to work with, or
it's some person that's going tomake this transaction difficult
, yes, high communication.
Jay (15:00):
Get me the paperwork when let's follow the walkthrough.
Yes, Be.
DeDee (15:05):
Get me the paperwork when let's follow the walkthrough.
Be pleasant, yes, be pleasant.
I think it's critical.
They remember you when you'regood and they remember you when
you're not good to work with,absolutely.
So I think it's, and I tell myteam that all the time you know
you want agents to remember youin a good way.
Jay (15:26):
I think, especially with technology these days, you know
when you're on an airplane andyou're texting another agent
Right, like, first of all, who'stexting on an airplane?
Everyone you get lost in thekeyboard warrior stuff you know
what I mean and they text andyou get a little overheated and
you're like, nope, we're notdoing that.
Like the context of technologydoesn't translate.
So what I'm saying is I hadsomeone who's really like just
(15:46):
Rude at, which I can handle.
I'm not afraid of people beingrude or whatever, or short or
unprofessional, but when you getface to face, people change
their tone.
They really do.
They soften up a little bit.
And I just want people toremember on the other side of
the table is another human beingand yes, we're standing up for
our client.
Yes, is another human being andyes, we're standing up for our
(16:07):
client?
Yes, everyone wins.
But we're really arguing over ahalf percent difference,
sometimes on price ornegotiation, or you know it's
$3,000 off.
Like, are we fighting aboutthis?
How do we get it to the tableAgain?
This is not a masterclass onhow to be a nice realtor, but
this kind of does a connection?
DeDee (16:22):
I think it's important to remember too.
Not only is the agent anotherhuman being, but the clients in
this transaction are also humanbeings.
This is a I think every realtorshould have to move every five
to seven years so that we knowwe should be forced.
Yes, that's so good Because ifyou move, you understand what
they're dealing with.
You know getting rid of stuffand setting things up and the
(16:45):
heightened emotional state,closing on time and all the
things that they can't handleright.
So we have to remember, firstand foremost, that our clients
are human beings.
They don't do this every day.
Opener (16:57):
We do this every day.
DeDee (16:58):
We know there's going to be some things come up.
We're going to handle it right.
Jay (17:01):
You may not even know all of the things that come up that
we deal with during atransaction, because we just
handle it and we don't need totell them, right, I think for
all the things that they hearabout, there's probably three,
four things of background thatwe've just handled right, Either
between the lender, betweentitle, between the other agent,
between the city, between some,you know, and there's things
(17:21):
that we take care of on our ownright that just, we don't need
to call our client up and sayyou know what I saved you.
Thank God, the concrete companygot back to us and I saved you
$150.
Like, yeah, that's there are.
There are people that will dothat.
Right, I call it virtuesignaling, right, oh, you're so
lucky, I saved this transaction.
(17:42):
I'm like, oh, oh, well, thankyou.
Like you, you didn't want thison the close either, but no,
let's, let's, let's further theconversation.
So you serve the militarycommunity.
You have the military familybackground.
Let's talk about that.
The military community.
You have a military familybackground.
Let's talk about that.
The military community,specifically in Papillion right,
Describe it.
(18:03):
You've been other bases.
You've been other places, right, You've served these people
through transition and you'vewent through transition as
military too.
What do you, I don't know, whatdo you want people to know
about the military, the partwhere you serve military people?
DeDee (18:19):
You know, I think it's really important again
understanding all of theemotional things that they're
going through moving to a newcommunity.
Maybe they've never ever beenhere.
And you know there's we've gota really great packet for
someone who's never been toOmaha.
Just pretend you've never beenin the area before.
Oh, that's cool, you know, sowe can tell you.
(18:40):
You know, if you like museums,parks, you know, botanical
gardens, all the cool thingsabout our city and surrounding
cities, right, papillion,bellevue, all of that, because
if I'm coming in, it's nodifferent than I'm going on
vacation and you get all thisgreat information about all the
cool things to do.
Yeah, true, and it helps themdecide where do they want to
live.
Do they want to be close tobase?
(19:00):
Do they want to be a little bitaway from base?
You know, do they want to beout in the country?
Because we put a lot ofmilitary people in Glenwood?
Jay (19:07):
Oh yeah, true, my first thoughts when I was getting
stationed here was like what'sthere to do?
And even then, Didi, had I hadsome kind of central document or
a book, like you said, it wouldhave helped me acclimate more,
because I felt isolated.
When I moved here I felt likeand you went directly to
Bellevue because that's wherethe base was.
(19:29):
That's all I knew and I didn'twant to venture out and nobody
held my hand.
DeDee (19:34):
Whereas at that time in your life I could have seen you
more downtown.
Jay (19:37):
True, you know what?
DeDee (19:39):
You didn't know that.
Jay (19:40):
No, not at all, and I was so afraid of leaving the bubble.
I think that's important, didi,because I have heard people and
I've been on this other sidetoo in my rookie days when
somebody wanted to PCS to Offit,move to Offit, and I was not
making stuff up, but I waspulling stuff out of the air
like, oh, you're looking forschools with special needs, and
I didn't have that resource, andoh, bellevue Public Schools is
(20:02):
amazing, or Papillion, and Ireally didn't know.
But I heard I was telling themwhere's the population?
DeDee (20:11):
Well, you didn't have kids in school back then.
Jay (20:12):
Correct.
DeDee (20:13):
So you didn't know anything about it.
Jay (20:18):
It's so true though I didn't know anything from
anything, but that's so funny.
I'm almost like can I get acopy of that?
No, of course, I'm sure you putit together, but that's going
above and beyond right.
That's connecting with yourmilitary community.
DeDee (20:30):
And I think, asking them the questions what is important
to you?
Because I know a lot of people.
I've had friends say to me oh,you live in Nebraska, so you're
a farmer.
Then Corn, no, we have.
Running water, no, I have, yeah, indoor potties.
So that's what people think inNebraska, though.
They think farms, they thinkcattle, they think corn, and
(20:50):
it's like we have so much moreto offer.
So asking them the questionswhat is important to you in your
new home, your new location?
Do you have a family?
Do you want a yard?
Do you want to be downtown?
Jay (20:59):
We've got great condos, we've got great townhomes, we've
got country living, we've gotall of it, and which is crazy,
because all that you said eventalking to my dad now, who lives
in California he can't pictureit unless someone really
describes it to him.
You know what I mean unlesssomeone really describes it to
him.
You know what I mean.
And there's no central resource.
But, like I said, I mean from amilitary standpoint.
(21:20):
Again, we're tying this intothe military.
It's important that you have arealtor who knows the landscape
right, and someone like Didi,who's been doing this for 27
years and you've seen everycycle, You've seen every trick,
You've seen every oh my goshyou've seen 2008.
You saw all the things thatjust led to other doom and gloom
(21:43):
things.
But you're here 27 years laterwhere you can say I'm sure you
had a lot of colleagues thatstarted out that you kind of
knew that they're not doing thisanymore.
They're not doing this anymore.
No, it takes a back bone.
DeDee (21:58):
Even recently, people got in when it was so easy, like
when the homes were selling sofast.
Jay (22:00):
Instagram homies, that's what I called them.
Yay, look at this, gone in fiveminutes, call me.
DeDee (22:05):
But now that we're in a different market, they don't
know how to navigate that.
I really believe it's better tostart like where I started,
where you're fighting and you'rescratching and you're clawing
for everything that you get.
Jay (22:16):
Yes.
DeDee (22:16):
Because then in an easy market it's a cakewalk.
But then when the market shiftsagain, you know okay, now I'm
back to clawing and scratching,and not in a bad way, just that.
Now I got to change my focus,and that's one thing people
don't do in this industry.
They think it's always going tobe just like yes, no.
And they don't want to.
You know they don't want to dosocial media.
(22:37):
They don't want to.
You know, use AI.
Jay (22:43):
They don't want to do all these things and you're going to
be phased out.
Some realtors don't even use adatabase and they think it's
just a spreadsheet that you justemail everyone every now and
then.
No, it's true.
Developing relationships, youhave people that you're very
connected with.
You have people that just loveyou as a resource, and you have
people that are very neutral andjust say listen, I don't need
anything.
DeDee (23:02):
When I do, I'll call you.
Jay (23:03):
Yeah, when I do, I'll call you, which is great, right, but
you have to know your people,because if you don't, you can
lose half of your database.
I made that number up, but youcan lose a lot of people by not
knowing them.
DeDee (23:15):
Knowing how they want to communicate, how much they want
to hear from you.
I've always it's really I lovebeing in a neighborhood.
I'm driving through aneighborhood and I sold you your
house and I see that you didthis beautiful landscaping
project and you painted yourhouse and I send you a text.
Jay, I just drove by your house.
It looks fantastic.
That's a touch.
Jay (23:34):
Oh, and it's an authentic touch.
It's not you saying, hey, let'sget you a CMA now, right?
It's you saying I notice you, Isee you and you know they spent
money on it.
And when your client's like, oh, dang Didi, were you in the
name, you should have stopped by.
But you're like, no, I'm notgoing to ring the doorbell at
2.40 in the afternoon and haveyou in your pajamas, right,
right, but there's a time and aplace.
(23:54):
Yeah, thomas, right, butthere's a time and a place.
There's a time and a place.
DeDee (23:56):
It doesn't have to be as hard as we make it honestly.
Jay (24:06):
I know you see all these influencers on social media
spend $2,900, we'll get youluxury listings.
Three of them in the next 60days are paying nothing.
I don't know if I want to builda business like that.
Listen, I'd love luxurylistings, but I love to serve
the people who need me at thetime.
Do I still do $160,000 houses?
Do I do $1.6 million houses?
DeDee (24:21):
Absolutely yes, yeah.
Jay (24:26):
But I don't ever look at it as a volume or a transaction.
I look at it as someone whoneeds a home, and we'll talk
about that.
So let's transition into the 50Mile March.
Okay, Okay, yeah.
So we reconnected.
You saw this?
DeDee (24:45):
how long ago did you notice the 50 mile mark?
Jay (24:46):
Well, probably in the early days, in the first you know,
the first year probably maybethe second hour.
DeDee (24:49):
Yeah Well, you're always Jay's always doing something,
okay?
So I think I told you I don'tknow if it was the first year,
maybe the second year I wasdriving down, I believe it was
center street.
Jay (24:58):
Yes, yes.
DeDee (24:59):
And I saw you guys marching, but what I noticed
first was Matt bills, yes,hanging out the top of a sunroof
with his camera, yes, and Ikind of turned on my camera and
you know so.
Anyway, I was like, oh, therethey go.
So I've known about it, but Ididn't really know.
I didn't really know about it.
(25:20):
I honestly didn't pay a ton ofattention, didn't know it was
going to be a thing.
Neither did.
I Right, I thought it was goingto be done.
Yeah, it's crazy, it's amazing.
Jay (25:33):
It's a healing journey too for a lot of people, and
especially myself.
Amazing, it's a healing journeytoo for a lot of people, and
especially myself.
But back to you know yourobservation.
And then we reconnected justrecently again for the first
time.
We probably interacted morethan five times in a two month
period and I started payingattention.
And I know you used to alwaysspeak about your dad.
(25:53):
You know what I mean, but Inever listened.
Didi, do you understand?
Like I can hear, but I neverlistened.
And I want to talk about Marvinnow.
Okay, and I know this is goingto be hard.
DeDee (26:06):
It's going to be okay.
Jay (26:07):
It's going to be.
It's going to be good.
Let's breathe, okay, so I'll domost of the talking for a
second.
I've always known Didi to be acompassionate person and someone
who, really, I've always knownyou as a great mom.
I didn't.
I always saw you as a realestate agent, yes, you know, but
every time I saw you I keptasking what are you doing now?
(26:27):
What are you?
And you still are, and you werefilming and you're like gee,
I'd like to do a story on the50-mile march.
And we got there and then that'swhere we started talking about
dad.
Right, I want to talk aboutMarvin Edward Park and I will
(26:50):
link a lot of the informationhere in the About section.
I just want to talk about yourdad for a second.
So your dad was in the military.
I just want to talk about yourdad for a second.
So you were, your dad was inthe military and he served in
the army, right, and I wantpeople to see this, because when
this is an airborne patch andnot many people get to wear this
(27:10):
and I know Didi doesn't knowexactly all the years and all
those things, but let's talkabout your dad served in the
Vietnam era.
What do you know of your dad'sservice?
What little or what.
I know there's a whole box here, but what do you remember of
your dad's service?
Or what stories did you?
DeDee (27:26):
hear of.
Well, I don't have any memoriesof my dad.
Jay (27:30):
Okay, personal memories, personal memories, but I'm
saying the stories passed downto you.
DeDee (27:38):
You know, this book was made for me by one of his good
friends from childhood.
They also served together.
It's okay.
I've heard it all and I think Ished a lot out just because
they were in a combat zone andthat's really all that I know.
Jay (27:55):
And your father was killed in action.
I want to display this now togive Didi a breather for a
second, but I will have anexplanation of this entire
shadow box in the description aswell.
But I want people to know thatthis is just a ribbon and brass
and metal.
This is awarded to people whodeserve these medals and the
military takes it very seriously.
(28:17):
This is not a everyoneparticipates.
I just want people to know.
When you're listening to thisnext part, this was Didi's dad
and this was someone's son, andthis was someone who fought and
died for our country, fought anddied for our country and paid
the ultimate sacrifice.
So, Didiee, what did you learnof your dad that you want people
(28:39):
to know about?
Some of the things that wediscussed?
I know you have a lot ofmemories of him, but what are
some of the things you're ableto talk about now?
DeDee (28:48):
You know my family, both sides, my dad's family, my mom's
family, and my mom kept my dadalive for me.
He was a bit of a wild child.
I know it's probably hard foryou to believe.
Right, you see anything going onhere, but he was a little bit
of a hellion, and not in a badway, never in trouble with the
(29:09):
law, but he was a wild teenager.
I hear stories from I heardstories from my grandmother, my
aunts and uncles growing up andnow his friends and just went to
a funeral in his hometown,which is Bedford, iowa, and some
guy was telling me the story ofhow my dad stole this truck and
got it stuck in the mud and Ithought that was.
I think it's hilarious, yeah,yeah.
(29:32):
So those are.
Those are the things that Ilove to hear about who he was
growing up and who he was as aperson.
I don't think he was a greatstudent, he wasn't a great
athlete, but he was lovable andlikable and people still talk
about him today.
I wish I had memories, but Idon't.
Jay (29:50):
And there are people who never got to meet their parent
right, or father or mother wentaway and they just they weren't
able to meet.
Or there are some people whojust haven't ever even connected
.
But what are some other thingsthat you want people to know?
Like you know some of thestories, maybe from mom or from
(30:10):
any of your did dad havebrothers or sisters?
DeDee (30:13):
He had one brother and two sisters well, three sisters,
but one died as an infant.
So I had two aunts and an uncle.
A great network of family.
My family still lives in theBedford Iowa area.
A lot of my family still farms,so it is a small farm family.
My grandmother lived on theirfamily farm until we literally
had to kick her out.
We took her literally kickingand screaming out of that
(30:36):
farmhouse but she couldn'tmaneuver it anymore, so just a
really good wholesome.
you know, down-home guy, thathis family was important to him,
whether it be brothers, sisters.
You know my mom, me.
Jay (30:50):
So when different times of the year come up Memorial Day or
Veterans Day did you always payattention this much now as
you're growing up, or has itjust gotten stronger lately as
you've gotten older?
DeDee (31:02):
It's gotten stronger as I've gotten older.
His friends, steve Batten andSteve Mick, who have come into
my life through the memorialsthat they have in Bedford and
they fill in a lot of gaps forme because they were there with
him.
They were also.
My grandmother thought he coulddo no wrong.
So he was the baby and mygrandmother thought he could do
no wrong, and so it's my uncleand my aunt and these friends
(31:25):
who are filling in those gapsfor me.
Of you know the things mygrandmother used to see, which
is great.
Jay (31:31):
Do you ever like just call every now and then just to seek
out you know thought, or do theyreach out to you?
How's that now?
I mean, is there something thatyou guys do as a family when
you gather, or is it just talkabout?
DeDee (31:46):
it at random.
Yep, I am reconnected with myuncle.
We had kind of lost touch for awhile.
Okay, reconnected with him, sothat's been really fun.
He's just kind of a grumpy oldfarmer guy.
Love him to death.
Still connected with these guys, and so they just sent me a,
they went to my dad's grave onMemorial Day, posted a picture
(32:07):
on Facebook and then, you know,the conversations kind of
started again, which is reallyfun to see that after 56 years
people still talk about him andthey still remember.
Jay (32:17):
It's important, though, that we always say the name and
carry the memory.
You know, we have to remember,and this blew me away.
Okay, so let's go backwards,right?
So there was you.
You were born.
Yeah, you had mom and dad,correct, right?
Mom and dad had mom and dad.
Mom and dad, you're on yourmom's side.
Now we're just on how to momand dad.
Do you understand the slightchance or the odds of you being
(32:42):
born of your father?
Do you get what I'm saying?
You had to come from a thousandsomething people to be one, and
then we think life is just somesimple.
Oh, we're just born, and Ithink of this a lot, and, like
you said, you can carry yourdad's.
I mean, you do carry your dad'slikeness, you are his daughter,
(33:05):
right, and I guess what I'mtrying to say is, as long as you
keep sharing the story, as longas you keep saying Marvin's
name, as long as you havesomething to share with other
people, his name will live.
You know what I mean?
We talked about this, and Idon't do this for many people.
Last year, I walked for fivepeople, and every person that I
(33:25):
walk for has a either I'mconnected or I feel a connection
.
It's not just like, hey, I'mgoing to just do this, it's
meaningful to me.
So this year I will be walkingfor Marvin Edward Park.
I will have his picture on myback.
I have a QR code.
It will link to thisconversation, it will link to
(33:45):
other photos and things of thatnature.
But I would be really honoredif you allowed me to do that for
you, for your dad.
Really, you know it's almostcrazy, as we just sit here and
look at a box of medals, howdisconnected we are.
But each one of these, you know, mean something we always talk
about in the military.
(34:06):
Oh, they gave, you know they'reall.
Some gave all and all, all gavesome and some gave all.
I mean, your father gave alland you know you didn't grow up
with a father, right, or atleast you know, with Marvin.
DeDee (34:21):
And you know Jay well, and in that you know, I have a
wonderful father now, my mom andI are married.
Jay (34:28):
Yes, yes, understood.
DeDee (34:30):
But not knowing.
How do you miss something thatyou never knew?
But you do so as a child whonever knows their father.
That's a void that's hard toexplain because people are like
well, happened a long time ago,you didn't know it.
Well that that makes it harder,right justify.
Jay (34:54):
You know what I'm saying.
It's like I think what makesyou so connected to him is are
the stories, are the people, theway they revere your dad, even
the stolen truck story, andpeople are laughing about it,
but that brings him to life.
DeDee (35:10):
It keeps him alive.
For me and I'm super thankfulfor the fact that you know my
mom made sure I stayed connectedto my dad's family.
I spent my summers in Bedford,iowa.
It is the greatest experienceof my life.
It's a small town.
It's easygoing my whole family.
I think I was related to thewhole town.
That's all another podcast.
(35:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Jay (35:33):
We'll talk about that later .
DeDee (35:34):
But it was my grandma and I would sit down and we would
go through these boxes and shehas every.
I have his baby book.
So she saved everything for meand she used to tell me I can't
give this to you, you can havethis when I pass, but I have to
hold on to it.
And I get it, and my aunts madesure I got it, Literally, Jay
(36:00):
there are boxes and boxes andboxes of things.
But she kept him alive for meand then you know, just being
with my family and getting toknow him as best as I could
through them, so well you see,it's your family, right?
Jay (36:08):
It's your DNA, first of all , it's your bloodline.
But I will tell you that Idon't need to know who your
family is, but I can just tellthe way that the feelings were
transferred, that your fatherwas a very good man.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, like you said, the babyof the family, he could do no
wrong.
Like, I don't know your dad atall, nor have I ever seen a
(36:28):
photo per se, but I could feelyour feelings talking about your
dad, because your family passeddown the right stories.
But he wasn't perfect, right?
He grew up, like you said, ahool.
DeDee (36:41):
I mean he drove demolition derby cars, if that
tells you anything.
You know stole motorcycles.
I mean you know, he was just afarm kid out there.
You know running the roads InBedford yeah.
And I want to tell you too, jay, that he died trying to save
someone else.
Jay (36:59):
That's what the medal, the valor, is for, and again I'll
highlight those on the letters.
But let's think of that for asecond.
You know it's one thing todefend your body in a fight in a
bar, fight right or standground and chest to chest on a.
I've seen people fight right.
I've seen people argue right Tolay down your life.
(37:20):
We talk about this in themilitary all the time, you know,
and I want to tell people inthe military that.
And people talk about this inthe military all the time, you
know, and I want to tell peoplein the military that and people
who are not in the military,these people, some of them knew
what they were getting into andsome didn't, and they did it
anyway, and we hope for safetyand we pray for well-being.
(37:41):
But this is a story that needsto be honored.
Your father sacrificed his lifeso that somebody else may live.
Do you know if that otherperson is still?
Or have they heard stories thatI don't, you don't?
DeDee (37:58):
No, I don't and.
Jay (37:59):
I'm sure it's in this book.
Oh, I'm sure this book isincredible.
Tell me a little bit about thebook so that people can get
context.
DeDee (38:07):
So this book came from Steve Batten.
He made me this book.
He was a childhood friend of mydad's and served in Vietnam
with him.
The other gentleman that I'vebeen reconnected with over the
last probably 10, 12 years isSteve Mick.
So they were childhood friendsand served in Vietnam with my
dad.
Jay (38:25):
But this book is about where they were and what they
did and there's photos and soprobably my most prized
possession- I mean right here itsays I hope these records of
pictures and comments will befuture importance to Dee Dee's
family on how life in Vietnamwas like for her father and our
troops during the Vietnam War of1969.
(38:46):
Here I'll share with you Unit C, battery 1st Battalion, 77th
Artillery, 1st Cavalry Division.
I mean this is more importantthan any history book that you
(39:09):
could ever have in any contextof any learning institution.
This is real.
DeDee (39:17):
These are stories of depictions and things that have
happened, and Steve is a greatresource.
He's always available if I needhim.
We're connected on Facebook.
I have his cell phone number,happy to answer questions if I
might have them or fill in moreblanks.
So this is more in-depth thananything else that I have ever
had.
Jay (39:35):
This is incredible DeeDee For someone to put this together
really revered your father and,of course, for you.
I mean, I can't tell you evenwhat happened last week.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Yeah, jay, what did you do lastweek?
Oh, we were busy.
DeDee (39:51):
Trust me, I know.
Jay (39:53):
I mean the cigarettes from the care packages were old, left
over from World War II.
We got camel non-filtered LuckyStrike, some modern, up-to-date
cigarettes like Winstonfiltereded, salem, menthol or
Marlboro Filtered too.
Those camels in Lucky Strikeare really strong.
I mean, can you imagine thesewere kids?
DeDee (40:12):
Right, they were kids, and the details in this book are
sometimes hard for me to readand to see.
Jay (40:18):
Oh, my gosh, Marvin Park, walking by my artillery gun
number one, I would holler athim hey, iowa, as he walked by
and he always waved and there'sa picture of your father waving.
DeDee (40:32):
I love that picture.
Jay (40:33):
Yeah, it's, that is huge.
I'm going to show all thesepictures.
But you know, writing letters.
It says he's writing a letterto home at this time, you know,
and the lost art of handwriting,as we were speaking earlier,
just writing letters.
DeDee (40:46):
And I, Jay, I have all those letters.
Jay (40:48):
That's incredible.
DeDee (40:49):
I have all the letters to my mom and all the letters to
my grandmother.
Jay (40:54):
Wow, so when were you born then?
How long after your fatherpassed, were you born or were
you born?
DeDee (41:03):
I was born in April of 1968.
Okay, so don't do the math onthat, it's not necessary.
And my dad was killed May 12thof 1969.
So I was just 13 months old.
Jay (41:16):
So again, not even having any.
You were 13 months.
You know what I mean.
DeDee (41:22):
I have pictures you've seen pictures of me and my dad
together.
He was gone most of my life.
He wasn't there when I was born.
He did come back.
We did get to spend timetogether, but not a lot, and my
mom was young.
My mom was a 19-year-old widowyou know what's crazy?
Jay (41:39):
Well, first of all, 19-year-old widow.
But do you know what's crazy is?
We tell kids today, my daughterjust got married, she's 21.
I'm like you're young, but yourmom was 19 years old, had you
and a 19-year-old widow.
DeDee (41:52):
A 19-year-old widow, yeah .
Jay (41:55):
People are working at Starbucks right now at 20 who
haven't lived a full life yet.
Your mom lived a full life by19 years old.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, and is mom still with usthen?
Okay, yeah, how old is mom now?
DeDee (42:10):
She'll be 75 this year and she will kick your butt for
asking that question but okay,All right mom.
Jay (42:17):
I'd love to do a documentary of this whole thing.
I mean I really would.
Deedee, yeah, because toconnect for your dad, marvin, to
be connected to all thesepeople and live through all
these people, I think we canlearn some amazing things from
that.
But it just blows my mind andI'm probably not doing great job
on this podcast right now offollowing what you're saying,
(42:39):
but, deedee, this is so.
I mean I'm following whatyou're saying, I'm feeling what
you're saying, but this is sosurreal to me I almost forgot we
were podcasting for a second.
I want to continue this, Ireally do.
Again, I want most people toknow they hear things right, but
they never listen.
And, didi, I apologize to you,I never listen.
(43:00):
You're my friend and you know,hey, how are you?
But I think there's somethingto learn.
There is listen to the peoplearound you, listen to the story.
It goes beyond the happy hours,the get togethers, all the
parties, but you know yourfather tied together a lot of
(43:20):
people, and how old was dad whenhe was killed in action.
He was born in 47, so I think 21.
I mean 21 years old, right, butto have this big of impact on
all these people?
For you know, I have friendsthat have passed away.
(43:43):
I have friends who have.
I've never done anything likethis for them.
I've never.
Hey, sorry for your loss.
Or hey, let me tell you a storyabout your mom or your dad.
Never anything to this extent.
And this documented.
And I mean you know, mostservice members will never get a
shadow box like this.
They served Not a big deal.
They did four years, whatever,but they moved on.
Didi, you knew me when I was inmy uniform.
(44:03):
Still, I did.
I didn't even know what I was,didi.
After I left the military, Ididn't care that I was in the
military, you know what I mean.
After I left, I was like, yeah,whatever, and for years I
really didn't talk about it,connect about it, almost ashamed
of it, you know.
DeDee (44:18):
But Jay, I think as we get older, because we've known
each other, like I said, I knewyou were doing this 50 Mile
March.
I didn't really pay, I didn'tlisten right, I didn't pay
attention to what it really wasor the impact that it was having
, and I see that now veryclearly with us doing the
American Dream Show.
(44:39):
Yes, the people.
I'm amazed at how dedicated Imean.
This isn't just something thatyou get up some weekend and you
walk 50 miles.
You guys are out there Monday,wednesday, friday.
There are criteria that youhave to raise funds, you have to
do all the things.
It's not just a walk.
(45:00):
It's not just a walk and I knowyou say something.
Jay (45:03):
We call it a movement.
We call it a movement or Idon't't know what.
I say a lot of things, but yousay interested in committee.
DeDee (45:09):
Yeah, yeah are two different things.
A hundred percent and thesepeople are committed.
We saw that at the tryout.
Crazy it's in, it's insane.
Jay (45:19):
Did you even know that day what it would be like when I
said come meet me.
DeDee (45:22):
Well, you said we have a tryout and and I'm like you have
a tryout, like, seriously, it'sjust walking, exactly, but the
pictures from the old walks, andlike, truly, and those people
put their bodies through, theyburned through a pair of shoes
they carry.
How heavy was that backpackthing?
Jay (45:40):
We did 15 as a minimum, but some people were carrying 60
and 25.
DeDee (45:45):
And it's hot.
Jay (45:48):
Oh yeah, there was a nine-year-old and 70.
Well, the oldest here was like66, but we had a remote
qualifier, Chip Frazier, who was73, 74.
And he's walking in this year.
This will be his fourth year, Ibelieve.
DeDee (46:08):
If you guys haven't watched it or seen it, go look
it up at their website, which is50MileMarchorg.
Okay.
Opener (46:15):
Yes.
DeDee (46:16):
Because it's truly incredible and it is all about
our veterans and it is all abouthelping those who are
struggling the veterans that arestruggling.
Jay (46:24):
Think about it, you know when you're dead, you know, I
mean, vietnam was not a greattime for our country, and you
hear all the stories of thepeople who did come back.
Well, your dad didn't come back, and I want people to remember
that Vietnam wasn't just bad forthe people who came back and
got spit on.
It was bad for the people whonever came back and their
families and their families.
(46:46):
I just DD.
Like I said, I want to continuethis conversation.
I want to thank you today foreven spending the time.
You just never know which way apodcast is going to go.
But I do know one thing isthere's more story to tell.
There's more of your story totell.
There's more to document.
I'd love to travel to Bedfordand talk to Seriously, it would
(47:08):
be fun, it would be a whole day,yes, and then we can have
people to, and then, when we putall this together, it's not
going to be difficult.
DeDee (47:15):
But I just want to learn they would be there.
I mean, we would have a crowdof people that would be there
(47:48):
no-transcript, and we just needto remember Marvin Park, who
sacrificed his life.
Jay (47:57):
He was your dad Killed in action and not for anything
except to serve his country andcarry out a mission.
And then too often the news andmovies and it over glorifies,
and this is not glorious.
These medals are not glorious.
They're a depiction of thebravery and the zeal and the
(48:19):
character, but these don't eventell the story.
I don't know if there'sanything else that you want to
say before we.
DeDee (48:26):
I appreciate you walking in his honor.
Jay (48:29):
Absolutely.
I promise you I will notcomplain.
I will not complain one bit andI will tell his story proudly.
I want to get to know it betterbecause I want people to ask me
and I want to share the storyof Marvin Park and I want to
listen to you.
I want to learn more because wedon't listen, and I hope, if
nothing else from this podcast,that you all, whether you're
(48:52):
watching or listening to this,listen to those around you.
It costs nothing, just a littlebit of time.
You know what I mean.
Just a little bit of time.
DeDee (49:00):
We've lost the art of connection, and as I get older,
that gets more and moreimportant.
Jay (49:06):
It does.
DeDee (49:07):
True, genuine connection with people that you love is a
precious gift.
It really is.
Jay (49:14):
Well, thank you for joining us.
Deedee, thank you, and more tocome.
DeDee (49:18):
Yeah, way more to come.
Thanks for having me and thanksfor walking for me, absolutely.
Opener (49:36):
Thanks for tuning in to the Connection.
Absolutely, your feedback keepsus going In this connected
world.
Let's make meaningfulconnections that enrich lives.
Now signing off until next time, the Connection, keep
connecting and let's go.
connecting the dots, connecting his guests to the
world, creating more connections.
Welcome to the connection.
Meet your host.
Author, coach.
Air coach, air Force veteranJay Morales.
Jay (00:30):
I am joined by my friend, Dedee Oliver today and I'm so
excited because DeDee and I met29 years ago-ish.
Oh, at least, at least.
Yeah, and my hair was black.
It was, it was very black, andI was really cool back then, but
anyway, so, didi, let's justjump right into it.
So you got back from England,right, was that England?
(00:54):
Yes, and I remember our friend.
How did we connect?
Was that right?
And she introduced us and takeit from there.
DeDee (01:05):
How old were we?
I was like 21, 22.
I think we were a little olderthan that Really, because I had
Cale and Kylie.
Jay (01:10):
Yes, yes, yes and.
DeDee (01:11):
I had them, so we were later 20s.
I think we were 26, 27.
Jay (01:16):
Yeah, okay, could be.
Gosh, my lines are blurred, butit was a long time ago.
It was a long time ago.
Yeah, and Didi and I have beenfriends.
We've kept in contact.
Every now and then We'verandomly run into each other,
but as a profession, we have runinto each other even more in
real estate.
So, didi, tell everyone nowwhat you are doing currently and
(01:38):
how long you've been a realtor.
DeDee (01:40):
Yes, Currently I am an associate broker at PJ Morgan.
I have been in real estatesince 1990.
Jay (01:48):
That's a long time.
DeDee (01:50):
Yeah, yes, yeah, so just a career that I have loved, and
it gives you the flexibility andthe freedom to be an on-hands
mom and never miss a kid's event, be able to be home during
vacation and sick days, and so Ilove it.
Jay (02:03):
And I've watched you grow.
I mean, I remember when we lostcontact for a while and then
you popped up back on the radaras a realtor.
I was like she's a realtor.
This is so cool, you know.
And just talking amongst ourfriends, you know, when we
weren't talking, how they'veeither used your services or
they used you as their agent oryou've given them advice.
(02:26):
And it was almost surreal to mebecause, like I said, when we
met we were barely, we were justolder kids, and life has a way
of taking everyone to their ownpath but also reconnecting with
everybody.
So let's talk about that.
You as a realtor, you talkedabout the flexibility and a
little bit about raising family.
I get that, but how have youbeen involved?
So since 98, that makes it howmany years now?
(02:48):
27.
Think about that.
For a second right, mostrealtors don't last but two to
four years, right?
They figure they'll try it,they'll get on Instagram,
they'll sell a house one timeand then it's hard.
Yeah, 27 years.
So what all things have youdone in your 27 years?
Some of the?
Have you ever served on acommittee?
Have you served it on a boardor anything like that?
DeDee (03:09):
Well, Jay, when I started , we didn't have the MLS.
Jay (03:13):
Right Pictures?
I mean right Were they?
Were they pictures in a bookwhere you used to go to people's
offices, right?
DeDee (03:18):
We would have a three ring binder very similar to this
, with all of your officelistings in it, and you would
hang your listings on your dooror in your window so people
could see what you had, and wedid like agent tours to see all
the new listings online, becausethere was no online database.
Jay (03:36):
Oh my God, I just thought about that because you're right,
it was literally.
And then the keys were in.
DeDee (03:42):
Well, we had like a little key that just opened
every single lockbox, with nolike electronic tracking or any
of that sort of stuff.
We faxed offers back and forthor I would call and say, hey,
jay, I got an offer for you onyour property.
Where are you?
And you'd be like I'm at dinnerand I'm like, ok, I'm on my way
, and I would hand you aphysical and then you would have
to go to your client's house,yes, and then you would have to
(04:05):
call me and get it.
I mean, it was like a wholething.
Jay (04:08):
Yeah, I mean, I just thought about that 27 years ago
and then you know you wereeither like you said there was
no electronic signatures oranything like that, there was no
dot loop, there was no, therewas no GPS.
That you know what.
That probably held me fromgoing in earlier because I get
(04:28):
lost with directions.
But think about this you had toknow Omaha 27 years ago, or the
area, or Iowa.
DeDee (04:35):
And we had maps in our car.
I mean, we had literal, youknow the kind that like hold 12
times and you pull yes, get outof here.
Jay (04:42):
And then I'm sure after a while you became very acclimated
to hey Dodge separates.
I still don't know that system.
I still don't know.
Oh, jay, it's north of whatever.
I'm like just give me theaddress.
It means nothing.
People say do you needdirections?
DeDee (04:57):
I'm like no, just give me the coordinates, tell me, turn
north.
Jay (05:00):
I don't know, is it past McDonald's or not?
DeDee (05:04):
Right or left, it's pretty good.
Jay (05:06):
You know, when they say on the southwestern corner of
so-and-so, I'm like what?
Just say it in plain English.
So what are some of the thingsthat you want people to know
about that time versus now?
Or what are some of the thingsthat have helped you now,
because you grew up in theschool of hard knocks?
DeDee (05:26):
You know I did and you learn.
I mean just the consistency andthe tenacity to continue to.
You know I've learned a lot inthe last few years.
As you know, my kids are now inreal estate, which I love it
Very amazing.
And you know I wasn't superinto the social media thing or
(05:48):
AI or any of the things, andthey've really taught me that
that stuff is important too.
Yes, but I've been able toteach them that the old school
stuff.
Jay (05:59):
I think that compliments your team, because you got a lot
of people who are all socialmedia.
Your team because you got a lotof people who are all social
media.
No follow-up on client partiesor handwritten notes, phone
calls, client appreciationevents, things of that nature.
It's all Instagram, right, butyou're right.
Yeah, how have theyincorporated some of that into
their business?
DeDee (06:18):
I think it's kind of a coming together right.
Both of them are superimportant.
Building a business on Facebook, instagram, tiktok, all of
those things is much faster thanwhat we did back in the day.
You can only sit in so manyopen houses, you can only do so
much, but now all of the thingsthat they do with the follow-up
that I've taught them, that'simportant is really building a
(06:41):
strong business for them.
Jay (06:42):
It's a client retention strategy because it's really
easy to transact.
One time meet someone on Zillow, be like all right, dave and
Karen, thank you so much.
You give a hug, you give a boxof presents and then you never
contact them again.
DeDee (06:57):
Right, and then they use somebody else when they go to
sell that house that they neverreferred.
Jay (07:01):
Yes, and it's more than just putting a magnet on the
fridge right.
And yes, and it's more thanjust putting a magnet on the
fridge right and the heart of mybusiness, Jay, is built on
referrals.
I can only imagineMulti-generation.
DeDee (07:10):
Multi.
Yes, I have a client that comesto mind that we've done three
transactions and I've donetransactions with their kids.
Jay (07:17):
Oh, yes, that's when you know the kids that were little,
little little in our firsttransaction.
I bet you get calls like hey, Iknow you don't know me, but you
helped my sister or my cousin,or they told me to call you and
those are blessings becausemaybe you may not have spoken
with that client or had directcontact.
(07:38):
You sent them notes, you sentthem, you know emails or you
sent them newsletters.
But there's some clients thatreally just they don't interact.
But when they send you areferral from their family
member oh hey, daryl sent me,like what you know?
Those are the best blessingsthat I think we're getting in
this industry.
With all the technology and allthe reports and all the data,
that's cool and everything, butthe data doesn't talk about
(08:00):
relationships.
DeDee (08:01):
There's no way you can measure that right, right, and
it is a relationship business.
If you want to make real estateeasier, build the relationships
, I agree, because they'll startto come back around in three
years or five years and thenyou're not spending money on
leads that maybe don't turn intoanything.
Right, it's a hundred percentrelationship and you've got to
(08:22):
have good relationships.
Jay (08:23):
Plus, wouldn't you say that person, even you know that
you've, that you've helped guidethree times.
They know you, they trust you.
There's no fight.
It's all about like Didi helpedme, she steered me right once,
twice, three times.
But if you don't keep incontact with them, if you don't
make yourself known to them, ifyou don't stay relevant is what
(08:46):
I call it right.
And staying relevant doesn'tmean saying, hey, daryl, I just
want to give you a CMA.
No, it's hey, your kids aregraduating college now, or
graduating high school, orthey're entering grade school.
Those are all milestones Ithink people miss.
But I think, if you, no, I'mnot going to turn down a sign
call.
No, absolutely not, but if myclient calls me and says Jay, we
(09:10):
need your help again, thatconversation is just so much
more pleasant.
DeDee (09:15):
For everybody.
There's no tension, there's nofight.
Opener (09:19):
Right.
Suggestions are only one time.
DeDee (09:22):
And the referrals they give you aren't hard either,
because they're referring peoplethat know and trust and love
them.
So it's so important and Ithink some agents miss the mark
on that.
Jay (09:35):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I can tell you.
I think you know my first fewyears I was just happy to have a
client right.
And as time has gone by, beckyhas been doing this for 14 years
.
My wife has been doing this for14 years and maybe longer.
But I see themulti-generational, I see the
kids, kids buying, and I see thepeople that she has built a
(09:56):
long standing relationship with.
They're pleasant, they arecordial and they are like yes,
we trust you, without sayingthat, you know.
Plus, think of all the time youlose when you have to convince
somebody and you're like, hey,vinny, this is not the right way
to do it, oh well.
Or hey, mary, you know, this isnot the house for you.
We love this house, you know.
(10:16):
It's all the little things wedon't think about.
Opener (10:18):
Yeah.
Jay (10:20):
What do you think about real estate in general?
Like next five years, you know?
I mean, you've been doing itfor 27.
Next five years, you hearrealtors have different opinions
like, oh my God, the sky isfalling.
Or hey, this is going to be anamazing market.
Like I don't pay attention toany one person.
What do you think?
What does DeeDee Oliver think?
DeDee (10:46):
Like okay, what is in it for DeeDee for the next five
years, or realtors in general?
in Nebraska and I really don'tpay a lot of attention to some
of the doom and gloom forecaststhat are out there for real
estate, because it will send youon a cycle of just thinking
you're defeated before you're.
People are always going to buyand sell real estate.
They have to, and we live in amilitary community where that's
even more prevalent than otherplaces.
So there's always going to bepeople who have to sell for some
(11:09):
reason, right, and you justneed to be the person that's in
front of them.
That's true right.
And if you don't worry about allof the other things, or
interest rates going up or down,are we going to hit a recession
?
Are we going to do this?
I mean, I lived through that2008, you know, and it wasn't a
horrible year for me, buteveryone in my office was
talking about the doom and gloomand there's not going to be any
(11:31):
houses and all of the things.
We sold a ton, but we had toshift our focus to the
foreclosures.
So it's knowing kind of what'scoming up and we don't have
those now, right, true?
Jay (11:44):
True, we don't.
DeDee (11:45):
So, but people are still buying and selling.
I have first-time home buyersthat are fighting for homes
still.
Jay (11:50):
Yes, yes.
DeDee (11:51):
And then I have those in the $400,000 range listings that
are.
They're taking a little bitmore time right now.
Jay (11:57):
And that's okay, right, but , like you said, there are
(12:18):
people I call them hype headswhich you know.
I hope they don't know who theyare, but I call them hype heads
.
They, oh my God, jay, did yousee what just happened?
We just dropped a quarter point.
Your phone's going to be busy.
I don't pay attention to thenoise, I don't pay attention to
the opinions, you know.
Am I planning for a goodpipeline?
Absolutely.
Am I serving?
Am I staying in touch?
But I can't sit there for fourhours and go.
I hope so-and-so.
Hope is not a strategy, and therealtors that you hang out with,
too, are important.
So, over 27 years, there'srealtors that you've got to know
really, really well andrealtors that you wish would do
(12:40):
a little bit better.
Right, it's funny to me thatthere's a community in Omaha
that really of realtors thatreally know how to reach out.
They really know how to connect.
Being on the other side of thetable, it's not about them.
You know what I mean, and I'veseen plenty of great agents.
Give me some advice for anagent on the other side of the
(13:01):
transaction that is just makingit difficult, and and maybe what
advice you'd give somebody.
I know that's a hard question,but you know what.
Be direct, who cares?
I've been on the other side ofcrazy people.
DeDee (13:15):
Yeah, well, and I can tell you stories.
I tell my team stories when I'mtraining new agents on my team
or within my company.
I tell them a lot of thestories that have helped me get
to where I'm at.
And you know, don't be a jerkon the other side of the
transaction.
We all have the same goal,right?
Yes, the goal is to get thisthing to the closing table,
(13:36):
absolutely, and working togetheris always the best strategy.
Jay (13:40):
It is because people remember you.
I just remember there arepeople that on my first few
transactions they were just sogiving and so I will remember
them forever, you know, and Iwant to go out of the way to
make sure that when I'm donewith the transaction, not only
for my client, but to make sureto show a little bit of
appreciation.
It goes a long way and itdoesn't have to be very
(14:01):
expensive at all.
DeDee (14:02):
It could be a car and it doesn't have to be expensive at
all.
Jay (14:05):
Right hey.
DeDee (14:06):
I really appreciated working with you.
So let me tell you a quickstory.
Yes, when we were in the marketthe crazy, crazy market where
you know, 12 offers on a houseand over and all the things
right, Right In the parking lotyeah Right, it came on the
market five minutes ago.
I had two instances where, youknow, we were one of multiple,
(14:26):
multiple offers and, for allpractical purposes, these offers
were exactly the same, Likeevery single thing was exactly
the same.
And I heard this story twiceand one of the agents called me
up and she said we're going withyour offer.
And here's what it came down to.
They said how do we choose?
They're the same.
How do we choose?
They're the same.
How do we choose?
And she said I can tell youwhich agent will be the best one
(14:49):
to work with.
It happened twice.
It's so true Because if it's meand I'm easy to work with, or
it's some person that's going tomake this transaction difficult
, yes, high communication.
Jay (15:00):
Get me the paperwork when let's follow the walkthrough.
Yes, Be.
DeDee (15:05):
Get me the paperwork when let's follow the walkthrough.
Be pleasant, yes, be pleasant.
I think it's critical.
They remember you when you'regood and they remember you when
you're not good to work with,absolutely.
So I think it's, and I tell myteam that all the time you know
you want agents to remember youin a good way.
Jay (15:26):
I think, especially with technology these days, you know
when you're on an airplane andyou're texting another agent
Right, like, first of all, who'stexting on an airplane?
Everyone you get lost in thekeyboard warrior stuff you know
what I mean and they text andyou get a little overheated and
you're like, nope, we're notdoing that.
Like the context of technologydoesn't translate.
So what I'm saying is I hadsomeone who's really like just
(15:46):
Rude at, which I can handle.
I'm not afraid of people beingrude or whatever, or short or
unprofessional, but when you getface to face, people change
their tone.
They really do.
They soften up a little bit.
And I just want people toremember on the other side of
the table is another human beingand yes, we're standing up for
our client.
Yes, is another human being andyes, we're standing up for our
(16:07):
client?
Yes, everyone wins.
But we're really arguing over ahalf percent difference,
sometimes on price ornegotiation, or you know it's
$3,000 off.
Like, are we fighting aboutthis?
How do we get it to the tableAgain?
This is not a masterclass onhow to be a nice realtor, but
this kind of does a connection?
DeDee (16:22):
I think it's important to remember too.
Not only is the agent anotherhuman being, but the clients in
this transaction are also humanbeings.
This is a I think every realtorshould have to move every five
to seven years so that we knowwe should be forced.
Yes, that's so good Because ifyou move, you understand what
they're dealing with.
You know getting rid of stuffand setting things up and the
(16:45):
heightened emotional state,closing on time and all the
things that they can't handleright.
So we have to remember, firstand foremost, that our clients
are human beings.
They don't do this every day.
Opener (16:57):
We do this every day.
DeDee (16:58):
We know there's going to be some things come up.
We're going to handle it right.
Jay (17:01):
You may not even know all of the things that come up that
we deal with during atransaction, because we just
handle it and we don't need totell them, right, I think for
all the things that they hearabout, there's probably three,
four things of background thatwe've just handled right, Either
between the lender, betweentitle, between the other agent,
between the city, between some,you know, and there's things
(17:21):
that we take care of on our ownright that just, we don't need
to call our client up and sayyou know what I saved you.
Thank God, the concrete companygot back to us and I saved you
$150.
Like, yeah, that's there are.
There are people that will dothat.
Right, I call it virtuesignaling, right, oh, you're so
lucky, I saved this transaction.
(17:42):
I'm like, oh, oh, well, thankyou.
Like you, you didn't want thison the close either, but no,
let's, let's, let's further theconversation.
So you serve the militarycommunity.
You have the military familybackground.
Let's talk about that.
The military community.
You have a military familybackground.
Let's talk about that.
The military community,specifically in Papillion right,
Describe it.
(18:03):
You've been other bases.
You've been other places, right, You've served these people
through transition and you'vewent through transition as
military too.
What do you, I don't know, whatdo you want people to know
about the military, the partwhere you serve military people?
DeDee (18:19):
You know, I think it's really important again
understanding all of theemotional things that they're
going through moving to a newcommunity.
Maybe they've never ever beenhere.
And you know there's we've gota really great packet for
someone who's never been toOmaha.
Just pretend you've never beenin the area before.
Oh, that's cool, you know, sowe can tell you.
(18:40):
You know, if you like museums,parks, you know, botanical
gardens, all the cool thingsabout our city and surrounding
cities, right, papillion,bellevue, all of that, because
if I'm coming in, it's nodifferent than I'm going on
vacation and you get all thisgreat information about all the
cool things to do.
Yeah, true, and it helps themdecide where do they want to
live.
Do they want to be close tobase?
(19:00):
Do they want to be a little bitaway from base?
You know, do they want to beout in the country?
Because we put a lot ofmilitary people in Glenwood?
Jay (19:07):
Oh yeah, true, my first thoughts when I was getting
stationed here was like what'sthere to do?
And even then, Didi, had I hadsome kind of central document or
a book, like you said, it wouldhave helped me acclimate more,
because I felt isolated.
When I moved here I felt likeand you went directly to
Bellevue because that's wherethe base was.
(19:29):
That's all I knew and I didn'twant to venture out and nobody
held my hand.
DeDee (19:34):
Whereas at that time in your life I could have seen you
more downtown.
Jay (19:37):
True, you know what?
DeDee (19:39):
You didn't know that.
Jay (19:40):
No, not at all, and I was so afraid of leaving the bubble.
I think that's important, didi,because I have heard people and
I've been on this other sidetoo in my rookie days when
somebody wanted to PCS to Offit,move to Offit, and I was not
making stuff up, but I waspulling stuff out of the air
like, oh, you're looking forschools with special needs, and
I didn't have that resource, andoh, bellevue Public Schools is
(20:02):
amazing, or Papillion, and Ireally didn't know.
But I heard I was telling themwhere's the population?
DeDee (20:11):
Well, you didn't have kids in school back then.
Jay (20:12):
Correct.
DeDee (20:13):
So you didn't know anything about it.
Jay (20:18):
It's so true though I didn't know anything from
anything, but that's so funny.
I'm almost like can I get acopy of that?
No, of course, I'm sure you putit together, but that's going
above and beyond right.
That's connecting with yourmilitary community.
DeDee (20:30):
And I think, asking them the questions what is important
to you?
Because I know a lot of people.
I've had friends say to me oh,you live in Nebraska, so you're
a farmer.
Then Corn, no, we have.
Running water, no, I have, yeah, indoor potties.
So that's what people think inNebraska, though.
They think farms, they thinkcattle, they think corn, and
(20:50):
it's like we have so much moreto offer.
So asking them the questionswhat is important to you in your
new home, your new location?
Do you have a family?
Do you want a yard?
Do you want to be downtown?
Jay (20:59):
We've got great condos, we've got great townhomes, we've
got country living, we've gotall of it, and which is crazy,
because all that you said eventalking to my dad now, who lives
in California he can't pictureit unless someone really
describes it to him.
You know what I mean unlesssomeone really describes it to
him.
You know what I mean.
And there's no central resource.
But, like I said, I mean from amilitary standpoint.
(21:20):
Again, we're tying this intothe military.
It's important that you have arealtor who knows the landscape
right, and someone like Didi,who's been doing this for 27
years and you've seen everycycle, You've seen every trick,
You've seen every oh my goshyou've seen 2008.
You saw all the things thatjust led to other doom and gloom
(21:43):
things.
But you're here 27 years laterwhere you can say I'm sure you
had a lot of colleagues thatstarted out that you kind of
knew that they're not doing thisanymore.
They're not doing this anymore.
No, it takes a back bone.
DeDee (21:58):
Even recently, people got in when it was so easy, like
when the homes were selling sofast.
Jay (22:00):
Instagram homies, that's what I called them.
Yay, look at this, gone in fiveminutes, call me.
DeDee (22:05):
But now that we're in a different market, they don't
know how to navigate that.
I really believe it's better tostart like where I started,
where you're fighting and you'rescratching and you're clawing
for everything that you get.
Jay (22:16):
Yes.
DeDee (22:16):
Because then in an easy market it's a cakewalk.
But then when the market shiftsagain, you know okay, now I'm
back to clawing and scratching,and not in a bad way, just that.
Now I got to change my focus,and that's one thing people
don't do in this industry.
They think it's always going tobe just like yes, no.
And they don't want to.
You know they don't want to dosocial media.
(22:37):
They don't want to.
You know, use AI.
Jay (22:43):
They don't want to do all these things and you're going to
be phased out.
Some realtors don't even use adatabase and they think it's
just a spreadsheet that you justemail everyone every now and
then.
No, it's true.
Developing relationships, youhave people that you're very
connected with.
You have people that just loveyou as a resource, and you have
people that are very neutral andjust say listen, I don't need
anything.
DeDee (23:02):
When I do, I'll call you.
Jay (23:03):
Yeah, when I do, I'll call you, which is great, right, but
you have to know your people,because if you don't, you can
lose half of your database.
I made that number up, but youcan lose a lot of people by not
knowing them.
DeDee (23:15):
Knowing how they want to communicate, how much they want
to hear from you.
I've always it's really I lovebeing in a neighborhood.
I'm driving through aneighborhood and I sold you your
house and I see that you didthis beautiful landscaping
project and you painted yourhouse and I send you a text.
Jay, I just drove by your house.
It looks fantastic.
That's a touch.
Jay (23:34):
Oh, and it's an authentic touch.
It's not you saying, hey, let'sget you a CMA now, right?
It's you saying I notice you, Isee you and you know they spent
money on it.
And when your client's like, oh, dang Didi, were you in the
name, you should have stopped by.
But you're like, no, I'm notgoing to ring the doorbell at
2.40 in the afternoon and haveyou in your pajamas, right,
right, but there's a time and aplace.
(23:54):
Yeah, thomas, right, butthere's a time and a place.
There's a time and a place.
DeDee (23:56):
It doesn't have to be as hard as we make it honestly.
Jay (24:06):
I know you see all these influencers on social media
spend $2,900, we'll get youluxury listings.
Three of them in the next 60days are paying nothing.
I don't know if I want to builda business like that.
Listen, I'd love luxurylistings, but I love to serve
the people who need me at thetime.
Do I still do $160,000 houses?
Do I do $1.6 million houses?
DeDee (24:21):
Absolutely yes, yeah.
Jay (24:26):
But I don't ever look at it as a volume or a transaction.
I look at it as someone whoneeds a home, and we'll talk
about that.
So let's transition into the 50Mile March.
Okay, Okay, yeah.
So we reconnected.
You saw this?
DeDee (24:45):
how long ago did you notice the 50 mile mark?
Jay (24:46):
Well, probably in the early days, in the first you know,
the first year probably maybethe second hour.
DeDee (24:49):
Yeah Well, you're always Jay's always doing something,
okay?
So I think I told you I don'tknow if it was the first year,
maybe the second year I wasdriving down, I believe it was
center street.
Jay (24:58):
Yes, yes.
DeDee (24:59):
And I saw you guys marching, but what I noticed
first was Matt bills, yes,hanging out the top of a sunroof
with his camera, yes, and Ikind of turned on my camera and
you know so.
Anyway, I was like, oh, therethey go.
So I've known about it, but Ididn't really know.
I didn't really know about it.
(25:20):
I honestly didn't pay a ton ofattention, didn't know it was
going to be a thing.
Neither did.
I Right, I thought it was goingto be done.
Yeah, it's crazy, it's amazing.
Jay (25:33):
It's a healing journey too for a lot of people, and
especially myself.
Amazing, it's a healing journeytoo for a lot of people, and
especially myself.
But back to you know yourobservation.
And then we reconnected justrecently again for the first
time.
We probably interacted morethan five times in a two month
period and I started payingattention.
And I know you used to alwaysspeak about your dad.
(25:53):
You know what I mean, but Inever listened.
Didi, do you understand?
Like I can hear, but I neverlistened.
And I want to talk about Marvinnow.
Okay, and I know this is goingto be hard.
DeDee (26:06):
It's going to be okay.
Jay (26:07):
It's going to be.
It's going to be good.
Let's breathe, okay, so I'll domost of the talking for a
second.
I've always known Didi to be acompassionate person and someone
who, really, I've always knownyou as a great mom.
I didn't.
I always saw you as a realestate agent, yes, you know, but
every time I saw you I keptasking what are you doing now?
(26:27):
What are you?
And you still are, and you werefilming and you're like gee,
I'd like to do a story on the50-mile march.
And we got there and then that'swhere we started talking about
dad.
Right, I want to talk aboutMarvin Edward Park and I will
(26:50):
link a lot of the informationhere in the About section.
I just want to talk about yourdad for a second.
So your dad was in the military.
I just want to talk about yourdad for a second.
So you were, your dad was inthe military and he served in
the army, right, and I wantpeople to see this, because when
this is an airborne patch andnot many people get to wear this
(27:10):
and I know Didi doesn't knowexactly all the years and all
those things, but let's talkabout your dad served in the
Vietnam era.
What do you know of your dad'sservice?
What little or what.
I know there's a whole box here, but what do you remember of
your dad's service?
Or what stories did you?
DeDee (27:26):
hear of.
Well, I don't have any memoriesof my dad.
Jay (27:30):
Okay, personal memories, personal memories, but I'm
saying the stories passed downto you.
DeDee (27:38):
You know, this book was made for me by one of his good
friends from childhood.
They also served together.
It's okay.
I've heard it all and I think Ished a lot out just because
they were in a combat zone andthat's really all that I know.
Jay (27:55):
And your father was killed in action.
I want to display this now togive Didi a breather for a
second, but I will have anexplanation of this entire
shadow box in the description aswell.
But I want people to know thatthis is just a ribbon and brass
and metal.
This is awarded to people whodeserve these medals and the
military takes it very seriously.
(28:17):
This is not a everyoneparticipates.
I just want people to know.
When you're listening to thisnext part, this was Didi's dad
and this was someone's son, andthis was someone who fought and
died for our country, fought anddied for our country and paid
the ultimate sacrifice.
So, Didiee, what did you learnof your dad that you want people
(28:39):
to know about?
Some of the things that wediscussed?
I know you have a lot ofmemories of him, but what are
some of the things you're ableto talk about now?
DeDee (28:48):
You know my family, both sides, my dad's family, my mom's
family, and my mom kept my dadalive for me.
He was a bit of a wild child.
I know it's probably hard foryou to believe.
Right, you see anything going onhere, but he was a little bit
of a hellion, and not in a badway, never in trouble with the
(29:09):
law, but he was a wild teenager.
I hear stories from I heardstories from my grandmother, my
aunts and uncles growing up andnow his friends and just went to
a funeral in his hometown,which is Bedford, iowa, and some
guy was telling me the story ofhow my dad stole this truck and
got it stuck in the mud and Ithought that was.
I think it's hilarious, yeah,yeah.
(29:32):
So those are.
Those are the things that Ilove to hear about who he was
growing up and who he was as aperson.
I don't think he was a greatstudent, he wasn't a great
athlete, but he was lovable andlikable and people still talk
about him today.
I wish I had memories, but Idon't.
Jay (29:50):
And there are people who never got to meet their parent
right, or father or mother wentaway and they just they weren't
able to meet.
Or there are some people whojust haven't ever even connected
.
But what are some other thingsthat you want people to know?
Like you know some of thestories, maybe from mom or from
(30:10):
any of your did dad havebrothers or sisters?
DeDee (30:13):
He had one brother and two sisters well, three sisters,
but one died as an infant.
So I had two aunts and an uncle.
A great network of family.
My family still lives in theBedford Iowa area.
A lot of my family still farms,so it is a small farm family.
My grandmother lived on theirfamily farm until we literally
had to kick her out.
We took her literally kickingand screaming out of that
(30:36):
farmhouse but she couldn'tmaneuver it anymore, so just a
really good wholesome.
you know, down-home guy, thathis family was important to him,
whether it be brothers, sisters.
You know my mom, me.
Jay (30:50):
So when different times of the year come up Memorial Day or
Veterans Day did you always payattention this much now as
you're growing up, or has itjust gotten stronger lately as
you've gotten older?
DeDee (31:02):
It's gotten stronger as I've gotten older.
His friends, steve Batten andSteve Mick, who have come into
my life through the memorialsthat they have in Bedford and
they fill in a lot of gaps forme because they were there with
him.
They were also.
My grandmother thought he coulddo no wrong.
So he was the baby and mygrandmother thought he could do
no wrong, and so it's my uncleand my aunt and these friends
(31:25):
who are filling in those gapsfor me.
Of you know the things mygrandmother used to see, which
is great.
Jay (31:31):
Do you ever like just call every now and then just to seek
out you know thought, or do theyreach out to you?
How's that now?
I mean, is there something thatyou guys do as a family when
you gather, or is it just talkabout?
DeDee (31:46):
it at random.
Yep, I am reconnected with myuncle.
We had kind of lost touch for awhile.
Okay, reconnected with him, sothat's been really fun.
He's just kind of a grumpy oldfarmer guy.
Love him to death.
Still connected with these guys, and so they just sent me a,
they went to my dad's grave onMemorial Day, posted a picture
(32:07):
on Facebook and then, you know,the conversations kind of
started again, which is reallyfun to see that after 56 years
people still talk about him andthey still remember.
Jay (32:17):
It's important, though, that we always say the name and
carry the memory.
You know, we have to remember,and this blew me away.
Okay, so let's go backwards,right?
So there was you.
You were born.
Yeah, you had mom and dad,correct, right?
Mom and dad had mom and dad.
Mom and dad, you're on yourmom's side.
Now we're just on how to momand dad.
Do you understand the slightchance or the odds of you being
(32:42):
born of your father?
Do you get what I'm saying?
You had to come from a thousandsomething people to be one, and
then we think life is just somesimple.
Oh, we're just born, and Ithink of this a lot, and, like
you said, you can carry yourdad's.
I mean, you do carry your dad'slikeness, you are his daughter,
(33:05):
right, and I guess what I'mtrying to say is, as long as you
keep sharing the story, as longas you keep saying Marvin's
name, as long as you havesomething to share with other
people, his name will live.
You know what I mean?
We talked about this, and Idon't do this for many people.
Last year, I walked for fivepeople, and every person that I
(33:25):
walk for has a either I'mconnected or I feel a connection
.
It's not just like, hey, I'mgoing to just do this, it's
meaningful to me.
So this year I will be walkingfor Marvin Edward Park.
I will have his picture on myback.
I have a QR code.
It will link to thisconversation, it will link to
(33:45):
other photos and things of thatnature.
But I would be really honoredif you allowed me to do that for
you, for your dad.
Really, you know it's almostcrazy, as we just sit here and
look at a box of medals, howdisconnected we are.
But each one of these, you know, mean something we always talk
about in the military.
(34:06):
Oh, they gave, you know they'reall.
Some gave all and all, all gavesome and some gave all.
I mean, your father gave alland you know you didn't grow up
with a father, right, or atleast you know, with Marvin.
DeDee (34:21):
And you know Jay well, and in that you know, I have a
wonderful father now, my mom andI are married.
Jay (34:28):
Yes, yes, understood.
DeDee (34:30):
But not knowing.
How do you miss something thatyou never knew?
But you do so as a child whonever knows their father.
That's a void that's hard toexplain because people are like
well, happened a long time ago,you didn't know it.
Well that that makes it harder,right justify.
Jay (34:54):
You know what I'm saying.
It's like I think what makesyou so connected to him is are
the stories, are the people, theway they revere your dad, even
the stolen truck story, andpeople are laughing about it,
but that brings him to life.
DeDee (35:10):
It keeps him alive.
For me and I'm super thankfulfor the fact that you know my
mom made sure I stayed connectedto my dad's family.
I spent my summers in Bedford,iowa.
It is the greatest experienceof my life.
It's a small town.
It's easygoing my whole family.
I think I was related to thewhole town.
That's all another podcast.
(35:32):
Yeah, yeah.
Jay (35:33):
We'll talk about that later .
DeDee (35:34):
But it was my grandma and I would sit down and we would
go through these boxes and shehas every.
I have his baby book.
So she saved everything for meand she used to tell me I can't
give this to you, you can havethis when I pass, but I have to
hold on to it.
And I get it, and my aunts madesure I got it, Literally, Jay
(36:00):
there are boxes and boxes andboxes of things.
But she kept him alive for meand then you know, just being
with my family and getting toknow him as best as I could
through them, so well you see,it's your family, right?
Jay (36:08):
It's your DNA, first of all , it's your bloodline.
But I will tell you that Idon't need to know who your
family is, but I can just tellthe way that the feelings were
transferred, that your fatherwas a very good man.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, like you said, the babyof the family, he could do no
wrong.
Like, I don't know your dad atall, nor have I ever seen a
(36:28):
photo per se, but I could feelyour feelings talking about your
dad, because your family passeddown the right stories.
But he wasn't perfect, right?
He grew up, like you said, ahool.
DeDee (36:41):
I mean he drove demolition derby cars, if that
tells you anything.
You know stole motorcycles.
I mean you know, he was just afarm kid out there.
You know running the roads InBedford yeah.
And I want to tell you too, jay, that he died trying to save
someone else.
Jay (36:59):
That's what the medal, the valor, is for, and again I'll
highlight those on the letters.
But let's think of that for asecond.
You know it's one thing todefend your body in a fight in a
bar, fight right or standground and chest to chest on a.
I've seen people fight right.
I've seen people argue right Tolay down your life.
(37:20):
We talk about this in themilitary all the time, you know,
and I want to tell people inthe military that.
And people talk about this inthe military all the time, you
know, and I want to tell peoplein the military that and people
who are not in the military,these people, some of them knew
what they were getting into andsome didn't, and they did it
anyway, and we hope for safetyand we pray for well-being.
(37:41):
But this is a story that needsto be honored.
Your father sacrificed his lifeso that somebody else may live.
Do you know if that otherperson is still?
Or have they heard stories thatI don't, you don't?
DeDee (37:58):
No, I don't and.
Jay (37:59):
I'm sure it's in this book.
Oh, I'm sure this book isincredible.
Tell me a little bit about thebook so that people can get
context.
DeDee (38:07):
So this book came from Steve Batten.
He made me this book.
He was a childhood friend of mydad's and served in Vietnam
with him.
The other gentleman that I'vebeen reconnected with over the
last probably 10, 12 years isSteve Mick.
So they were childhood friendsand served in Vietnam with my
dad.
Jay (38:25):
But this book is about where they were and what they
did and there's photos and soprobably my most prized
possession- I mean right here itsays I hope these records of
pictures and comments will befuture importance to Dee Dee's
family on how life in Vietnamwas like for her father and our
troops during the Vietnam War of1969.
(38:46):
Here I'll share with you Unit C, battery 1st Battalion, 77th
Artillery, 1st Cavalry Division.
I mean this is more importantthan any history book that you
(39:09):
could ever have in any contextof any learning institution.
This is real.
DeDee (39:17):
These are stories of depictions and things that have
happened, and Steve is a greatresource.
He's always available if I needhim.
We're connected on Facebook.
I have his cell phone number,happy to answer questions if I
might have them or fill in moreblanks.
So this is more in-depth thananything else that I have ever
had.
Jay (39:35):
This is incredible DeeDee For someone to put this together
really revered your father and,of course, for you.
I mean, I can't tell you evenwhat happened last week.
Do you understand what I'msaying?
Yeah, jay, what did you do lastweek?
Oh, we were busy.
DeDee (39:51):
Trust me, I know.
Jay (39:53):
I mean the cigarettes from the care packages were old, left
over from World War II.
We got camel non-filtered LuckyStrike, some modern, up-to-date
cigarettes like Winstonfiltereded, salem, menthol or
Marlboro Filtered too.
Those camels in Lucky Strikeare really strong.
I mean, can you imagine thesewere kids?
DeDee (40:12):
Right, they were kids, and the details in this book are
sometimes hard for me to readand to see.
Jay (40:18):
Oh, my gosh, Marvin Park, walking by my artillery gun
number one, I would holler athim hey, iowa, as he walked by
and he always waved and there'sa picture of your father waving.
DeDee (40:32):
I love that picture.
Jay (40:33):
Yeah, it's, that is huge.
I'm going to show all thesepictures.
But you know, writing letters.
It says he's writing a letterto home at this time, you know,
and the lost art of handwriting,as we were speaking earlier,
just writing letters.
DeDee (40:46):
And I, Jay, I have all those letters.
Jay (40:48):
That's incredible.
DeDee (40:49):
I have all the letters to my mom and all the letters to
my grandmother.
Jay (40:54):
Wow, so when were you born then?
How long after your fatherpassed, were you born or were
you born?
DeDee (41:03):
I was born in April of 1968.
Okay, so don't do the math onthat, it's not necessary.
And my dad was killed May 12thof 1969.
So I was just 13 months old.
Jay (41:16):
So again, not even having any.
You were 13 months.
You know what I mean.
DeDee (41:22):
I have pictures you've seen pictures of me and my dad
together.
He was gone most of my life.
He wasn't there when I was born.
He did come back.
We did get to spend timetogether, but not a lot, and my
mom was young.
My mom was a 19-year-old widowyou know what's crazy?
Jay (41:39):
Well, first of all, 19-year-old widow.
But do you know what's crazy is?
We tell kids today, my daughterjust got married, she's 21.
I'm like you're young, but yourmom was 19 years old, had you
and a 19-year-old widow.
DeDee (41:52):
A 19-year-old widow, yeah .
Jay (41:55):
People are working at Starbucks right now at 20 who
haven't lived a full life yet.
Your mom lived a full life by19 years old.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, and is mom still with usthen?
Okay, yeah, how old is mom now?
DeDee (42:10):
She'll be 75 this year and she will kick your butt for
asking that question but okay,All right mom.
Jay (42:17):
I'd love to do a documentary of this whole thing.
I mean I really would.
Deedee, yeah, because toconnect for your dad, marvin, to
be connected to all thesepeople and live through all
these people, I think we canlearn some amazing things from
that.
But it just blows my mind andI'm probably not doing great job
on this podcast right now offollowing what you're saying,
(42:39):
but, deedee, this is so.
I mean I'm following whatyou're saying, I'm feeling what
you're saying, but this is sosurreal to me I almost forgot we
were podcasting for a second.
I want to continue this, Ireally do.
Again, I want most people toknow they hear things right, but
they never listen.
And, didi, I apologize to you,I never listen.
(43:00):
You're my friend and you know,hey, how are you?
But I think there's somethingto learn.
There is listen to the peoplearound you, listen to the story.
It goes beyond the happy hours,the get togethers, all the
parties, but you know yourfather tied together a lot of
(43:20):
people, and how old was dad whenhe was killed in action.
He was born in 47, so I think 21.
I mean 21 years old, right, butto have this big of impact on
all these people?
For you know, I have friendsthat have passed away.
(43:43):
I have friends who have.
I've never done anything likethis for them.
I've never.
Hey, sorry for your loss.
Or hey, let me tell you a storyabout your mom or your dad.
Never anything to this extent.
And this documented.
And I mean you know, mostservice members will never get a
shadow box like this.
They served Not a big deal.
They did four years, whatever,but they moved on.
Didi, you knew me when I was inmy uniform.
(44:03):
Still, I did.
I didn't even know what I was,didi.
After I left the military, Ididn't care that I was in the
military, you know what I mean.
After I left, I was like, yeah,whatever, and for years I
really didn't talk about it,connect about it, almost ashamed
of it, you know.
DeDee (44:18):
But Jay, I think as we get older, because we've known
each other, like I said, I knewyou were doing this 50 Mile
March.
I didn't really pay, I didn'tlisten right, I didn't pay
attention to what it really wasor the impact that it was having
, and I see that now veryclearly with us doing the
American Dream Show.
(44:39):
Yes, the people.
I'm amazed at how dedicated Imean.
This isn't just something thatyou get up some weekend and you
walk 50 miles.
You guys are out there Monday,wednesday, friday.
There are criteria that youhave to raise funds, you have to
do all the things.
It's not just a walk.
(45:00):
It's not just a walk and I knowyou say something.
Jay (45:03):
We call it a movement.
We call it a movement or Idon't't know what.
I say a lot of things, but yousay interested in committee.
DeDee (45:09):
Yeah, yeah are two different things.
A hundred percent and thesepeople are committed.
We saw that at the tryout.
Crazy it's in, it's insane.
Jay (45:19):
Did you even know that day what it would be like when I
said come meet me.
DeDee (45:22):
Well, you said we have a tryout and and I'm like you have
a tryout, like, seriously, it'sjust walking, exactly, but the
pictures from the old walks, andlike, truly, and those people
put their bodies through, theyburned through a pair of shoes
they carry.
How heavy was that backpackthing?
Jay (45:40):
We did 15 as a minimum, but some people were carrying 60
and 25.
DeDee (45:45):
And it's hot.
Jay (45:48):
Oh yeah, there was a nine-year-old and 70.
Well, the oldest here was like66, but we had a remote
qualifier, Chip Frazier, who was73, 74.
And he's walking in this year.
This will be his fourth year, Ibelieve.
DeDee (46:08):
If you guys haven't watched it or seen it, go look
it up at their website, which is50MileMarchorg.
Okay.
Opener (46:15):
Yes.
DeDee (46:16):
Because it's truly incredible and it is all about
our veterans and it is all abouthelping those who are
struggling the veterans that arestruggling.
Jay (46:24):
Think about it, you know when you're dead, you know, I
mean, vietnam was not a greattime for our country, and you
hear all the stories of thepeople who did come back.
Well, your dad didn't come back, and I want people to remember
that Vietnam wasn't just bad forthe people who came back and
got spit on.
It was bad for the people whonever came back and their
families and their families.
(46:46):
I just DD.
Like I said, I want to continuethis conversation.
I want to thank you today foreven spending the time.
You just never know which way apodcast is going to go.
But I do know one thing isthere's more story to tell.
There's more of your story totell.
There's more to document.
I'd love to travel to Bedfordand talk to Seriously, it would
(47:08):
be fun, it would be a whole day,yes, and then we can have
people to, and then, when we putall this together, it's not
going to be difficult.
DeDee (47:15):
But I just want to learn they would be there.
I mean, we would have a crowdof people that would be there
(47:48):
no-transcript, and we just needto remember Marvin Park, who
sacrificed his life.
Jay (47:57):
He was your dad Killed in action and not for anything
except to serve his country andcarry out a mission.
And then too often the news andmovies and it over glorifies,
and this is not glorious.
These medals are not glorious.
They're a depiction of thebravery and the zeal and the
(48:19):
character, but these don't eventell the story.
I don't know if there'sanything else that you want to
say before we.
DeDee (48:26):
I appreciate you walking in his honor.
Jay (48:29):
Absolutely.
I promise you I will notcomplain.
I will not complain one bit andI will tell his story proudly.
I want to get to know it betterbecause I want people to ask me
and I want to share the storyof Marvin Park and I want to
listen to you.
I want to learn more because wedon't listen, and I hope, if
nothing else from this podcast,that you all, whether you're
(48:52):
watching or listening to this,listen to those around you.
It costs nothing, just a littlebit of time.
You know what I mean.
Just a little bit of time.
DeDee (49:00):
We've lost the art of connection, and as I get older,
that gets more and moreimportant.
Jay (49:06):
It does.
DeDee (49:07):
True, genuine connection with people that you love is a
precious gift.
It really is.
Jay (49:14):
Well, thank you for joining us.
Deedee, thank you, and more tocome.
DeDee (49:18):
Yeah, way more to come.
Thanks for having me and thanksfor walking for me, absolutely.
Opener (49:36):
Thanks for tuning in to the Connection.
Absolutely, your feedback keepsus going In this connected
world.
Let's make meaningfulconnections that enrich lives.
Now signing off until next time, the Connection, keep
connecting and let's go.
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New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!