November 3, 2025 • 37 mins
CONTENT WARNING: Suicide, Domestic violence, abuse
In this heartfelt episode, host Pallavi sits down with fitness coach, content creator, and former competitive figure skater Neha Alisha Dias. Neha opens up about her powerful journey of resilience, from dealing with a double concussion that brought her skating career to an early end, to overcoming an abusive relationship, to finding healing through movement and creative expression. Her book, 101 Reasons to Stay: A Collection of Reminders for the Days You Feel Alone, offers hope and encouragement for anyone navigating challenging seasons. Through this intimate and inspiring conversation, Neha reminds listeners that strength is born from perseverance, and that creativity, mindfulness, and compassion can guide us toward healing and self-discovery.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Conscious
Artist, a safe space for conversations around mental
health awareness for musicians, artists, and all human beings.
I am your host, Pallavi Mahidera, and I'm thrilled that
you are joining us today. I love the community we have.
Developed together through this show.
And I'm committed to continuing to give a platform for voices
(00:25):
and stories to be shared when weallow others and ourselves to
feel seen and heard. We create.
Much needed change in this industry and in this world.
So thank you for supporting thiscommunity.
Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
and let's. Get started.
(00:50):
My guest today is a very specialone to me.
She's a fitness coach, content creator, and former competitive
figure skater based in Charleston, SC.
She's known for sharing a real look at fitness mindset in daily
life, balancing her work in the corporate world with her passion
for health and coaching. Not only is she extremely
talented in a variety of things artistically, but she is truly
(01:13):
the strongest person I know. And the extra special part is
that I've gotten to see her growup watching her through every
stage of life. So please join me in giving a
warm welcome to my cousin Neha Alicia Dyas.
Neha, thank you so much for being here on The Conscious
Artist today. Thanks for having me, I'm
excited. It is my pleasure.
I've been wanting to have you onthe show for a long time.
(01:36):
You have experienced honestly somany hardships in your life that
you never should have had to face and get through every
difficult moment. I have watched your strength and
your courage persevere. I am constantly inspired by you.
It's a mixture of wanting to protect you because of my little
cousin and just being floored byyour resilience.
(01:57):
I obviously know many things about your life, but I want to
give our listeners a chance to get to know you through your own
words. So I want to go back several
years and start from the beginning.
For many years you were trainingas a competitive figure skater
and I remember your mom always sewing the most beautiful
outfits for you to compete in. Can you tell us how you got into
(02:18):
figure skating and what drew youinto this artistic expression?
Yeah, it's actually a kind of funny story.
So my parents moved to Houston, TX when I was 5 and where we
were there wasn't a ton to do and I was kind of a hyperactive
child. So my mom signed me up for ice
skating lessons at the local mall so that she could drop me
(02:41):
off and I would go skating and she could go shopping.
Little did she know that it was going to become like the most
expensive thing in my parents life for 18 years.
But that's kind of how I got into it.
And I just remember, I mean I was so little when I started.
I don't remember a whole lot about my first couple of times
on the ice, but I just remember that I felt very free and I was
(03:01):
really short and close to the ground.
So I feel like when I fell it didn't really hurt as bad.
Now when I fall, I'm like, wow, I'm way too old to be doing this
sport, but I just felt like it was a lot of fun.
I could get my energy out and itwas creative and I got to play
like different characters. I think my first competition I
was like Pocahontas. So it was kind of a mixture of a
lot of different experiences and1 for me.
(03:23):
That's really beautiful and you have skated continuously almost,
but at some point you had to sort of stop pursuing it in any
sort of competitive manner. Can you share with our audience
what made you have to stop? Yeah, so any sport is a little
bit dangerous, but figure skating in general with your
(03:43):
when you're on the ice and you're not really wearing any
protection. I definitely grew up pretty
bumped and bruised. But my freshman year of college
I had an accident on the ice andI basically got a double
concussion on the front of my head and the back of my head.
Ended up having to drop out my first semester of college and go
back home. And I went through like months
of rehab and PT just to kind of get back to a point of being
(04:06):
like a normal person. And then even after that, it
took much longer to get back on the ice and be able to skate
again. But basically from there, I was
kind of advised not to try superhard with jumps or like anything
where I could get another concussion because as we're all
starting to like learn about concussions, the more you have,
the more detrimental they are each time.
(04:28):
And so just with that concussionbeing so bad, I couldn't really
afford to get any more after that.
I remember that time and you would have to like sit in your
room in darkness. Yeah, I had to go through
something. This was like probably the
craziest experience I'd ever hadin my entire life.
I basically got all electronics taken away.
(04:48):
So like, no phone, no TV, no computer, not even music.
So like no iPod, nothing. Couldn't have any lights on,
couldn't open the blinds, couldn't read any books,
couldn't listen to music. The way I like explain to people
is like if you break your arm, they put it in a cast so you
can't use your arm so it can heal.
But with your brain, you can't really like put your brain in a
cast. So they just try to take away
(05:10):
everything that would make your brain work.
So it's like sensory deprivation.
Any sort of stimulation, yeah. Yeah, so I couldn't have any
stimulation. So I just laid in my room for
three weeks with nothing. My parents would bring in food
to my room. Like I couldn't go out of my
room into the light or anything.Came out of that.
And Trump was the president. The Cubs won the World Series.
(05:30):
And I was in shock. It was crazy.
Oh, my God. But that in itself is also
extremely traumatic because not getting sunlight for three
weeks, not having any clue of what time it is, what day it is.
I, I I can't even imagine. How did you cope with that?
Yeah. Well, the one thing about
concussions is you do sleep a lot.
So I was probably sleeping about18 or 20 hours of each day the
(05:55):
whole time I was there because my brain just needed to recover
that bad. And even like to this day
because of that one concussion, like if I don't have I have an
alarm set or if I don't have my blinds open, I can sleep like
over 24 hours straight like without even waking up.
Oh my God. Yeah, so if I don't like set an
alarm or I sleep in like a room with no windows, I just won't
(06:16):
wake up. I'll just keep sleeping.
Oh my goodness. Yeah, it was definitely taxing
for my mental health. I definitely had to, like, think
a lot about myself. I mean, what else you gonna do
in there? And like, my identity.
And I remember I actually wrote an article, like after I got out
of it that kind of went viral about how I felt like I had to
(06:37):
completely recreate myself identity because I had always
identified myself. And people always identify me as
like, Naha, the figure skater, because it was such a unique
association to have there. I grew up in the South.
There were like 15 skaters in myentire city in my age group.
And so like, when I was there, Ididn't even know if I was going
to be able to like, competitively skate again after
(06:59):
my injuries. So like, I just remember like,
having to completely like, retrain my brain to associate my
self-confidence in something other than just being a figure
skater. That's incredible.
And that's so interesting because I mean, figure skating
is a beautiful form of art. And I think as artists, I talk
about this a lot on my podcast. We often have difficulty
(07:20):
separating who we are from what we do because unlike being a
banker or a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant, which are to a
certain extent jobs, an artisticfield, an artistic profession is
often not a job, but it's a passion.
It's a way of life. It's a calling for a lot of
(07:42):
people. And to separate the person from
the artist is quite hard. It's called identity fusion.
And I have found myself throughout my life.
When I introduce myself, I say hi, I'm Pallavi, I'm a concert
pianist, but not because it's what I do, but it because it's
who I am. And so having to figure that out
(08:02):
all by yourself in the darkness for three weeks, I mean, that's
incredible. Yeah, not, not the most fun time
in my life, but we made it out. And you just have to learn to
grow and adapt. And I feel like the one thing
that I will say about myself that I'm very proud of through
all of the different hardships I've gone through is it has
taught me so well how to like, take something on the chin and
(08:24):
then adapt and like be able to move on.
Whereas something that I might have done before experiencing
some things is just dwell on it and freeze on it and not know
how to like move on and adapt. And so I do think that, like
through everything, learning howto adapt and change has really
helped me, I guess, navigate life.
Like I said, you are truly the strongest person I know to go
(08:44):
through this sort of recovery through the concussion, but
you've also had to recover many times.
I don't think people understand sometimes how long a concussion
can affect you, but I had multiple side effects from the
concussion for pretty much all of my college career.
If I would go to a class and, you know, the teachers
presenting on a whiteboard, obviously I can see the words on
(09:05):
the screen, but at the same time, I couldn't comprehend any
of the words on the screen. And so, like, things like that
would happen. I would get these horrible
migraines and then pass out. My roommates would find me
asleep on the kitchen floor in the garage or like in the most
random places. And there wasn't really any
specific medication that anyone could give me that was going to
(09:25):
make all of these concussion symptoms go away.
I just had to kind of like learnhow to deal with them.
Although you haven't been able to skate competitively since, I
know that you still enjoy doing it from time to time and I know
that you were coaching skating for some time.
I do still skate for fun, I think it's just a good way to
stay active and keep my body moving.
(09:45):
Definitely whenever I do go skate though, I realized that
I'm getting older and I can't dothings I used to do, but it's
still like a fun outlet and it just makes me feel free.
I used to coach a lot more when I lived in Columbus.
I was coaching like figure skating for the beginner group
classes and then also some hockey and I really enjoyed it.
I just think that since moving here, I've had so many other
(10:06):
things going on that I've had toprioritize that.
I just haven't been able to commit to that.
And I'm traveling so much. I can't say that I'm going to
coach and then be like, by the way, I'm going out of town for
two months, so hope that's OK. Sure.
No, I get that. But what I have seen with you is
that you have so much artistic talent, whether it's been
(10:27):
through skating, through piano, through painting, through
cooking, like you have so much artistic expression.
And I'm really curious to know if the content creation that has
come through your work over the last several years, if you find
that to be another way to express yourself creatively.
I definitely think so. I think that, and I've said this
(10:49):
before too, like because people always ask like, oh, would you
ever quit your corporate job just to do content?
And I think that the two separate sides scratch different
parts of my brain, if that makessense.
I really like having a job that's like super analytical
with critical thinking and that logical side of my head that I
think probably come from playingchess growing up and needing
that kind of stimulation. But the content creation side
(11:11):
really does feed into more of the artistic side of me and like
being able to create something. And you're mentioning that like
I like to do art in different forms.
I think I just like to recreate my identity in different ways,
if that makes sense. I think people think that once
you grow up, quote UN quote, youhave to work.
Your work is your life and then you just hang out with your
friends, your partner, you have kids.
That's kind of what your life is.
(11:32):
And I think that people should know more that you can recreate
your identity in multiple ways. Like there's no one saying that
you can't grow up and still pursue your passions at the same
time. No one's saying you can't become
multiple versions of yourself. Even talking to my friends,
they're like, I don't understandhow you can just have so many
talents. It's like, well, I, I nurtured
all of those things. I didn't just wake up one day
and become a good cook. I just decided that I wanted to
(11:55):
pursue that outlet. OK?
Like, let me work on it. Let me nurture it.
So I just think that that's something that's important to
tell people. I'm so glad that you said that.
And yes, I forgot to mention that you are also a national
chess champion. So.
That's OK, We didn't. We didn't really need to bring
up that I was a nerd. But just like, I just need to
let everyone know how talented you are.
(12:15):
But yes, I love that you're saying this.
It's about being, I mean, if I can say it in my own words, it's
about being intentional with your life as well.
And I feel it's so fundamental to have some sort of
self-expression for our mental well-being.
I really think so. And I, I agree with you that we
(12:36):
are trained as a society to believe that success has one
path or our life has to look like one path.
And we're trained that, OK, you go to school and then you go to
college and then you get a job and then you get married and you
have 2.5 kids in a house with a white picket fence.
And that's life. And my life has never looked
like that. And I think perhaps starting
(12:58):
from the fact that my life has never looked like that and
wasn't really possible to look like that, it has allowed me to
question why. And I'm so thankful that I think
it's also a younger generation thing.
I think your generation also is much more aware.
Yeah, for sure. Gen.
Z's are much more aware of living life, not surviving life.
(13:21):
Yeah, for sure. So in the list of unending list
of talents that you have anotherthing that you are as a
published author. In 2022, you wrote a book called
101 Reasons to Stay, a collection of reminders for the
days you feel alone. And I remember when you told me
you were writing this book and that you were about to publish
(13:43):
it, I was just like, Oh my goodness, you are such a boss
woman. Please tell us.
I know that the origin story behind the book is not as Boss
Womany, but if you feel comfortable, will you tell us
why you wrote this book? Well, to start, I I've always
felt like mental health was really important.
One of my best friends committedsuicide when I was in 9th grade.
(14:05):
She was 13 years old and I stillto this day remember walking
into the Funeral Home and seeingher in a casket.
And it was such a traumatizing experience when I was so young.
And we, I feel like mental health was people were like made
jokes about it back then, like it wasn't something to be taken
seriously. And just having that experience
at a young age and seeing a friend go through something so
painful and then ultimately end her life has always made me have
(14:28):
a soft spot for mental health. But the origin story of my book
was I was in about a year long horribly abusive relationship.
And during that time the guy I was dating basically destroyed
my self-confidence in every aspect and kind of took away the
(14:48):
things that I felt like I had the most confidence in at the
same time. To the point where by the end of
the relationship, I literally fully believed that I was
stupid, ugly, a loser, horrible at everything, couldn't do
anything without him. That I was way below his league
and like just all of these horrible things about myself
because he had just continued totell me those things time and
(15:10):
time again. And how when he would abuse me
it was oh that was my fault because I did blank or whatever
it was. So I was just like in such a bad
place mentally because of everything that I was going
through. And I finally got to a breaking
point where I knew I had to leave the relationship but I
literally didn't have the self-confidence to do it.
And I remember exactly where I was because I was driving back.
(15:32):
He was on the phone with me in the car and he started
completely obliterating me with horrible language and I had a
panic attack while driving and pulled over the side of the
highway and was hyperventilatingin the car for like 2 hours.
Eventually a state trooper pulled up behind me and he came
to talk to me and the reason that he came was because my best
friends saw that my location hadn't moved in like 2 hours and
(15:56):
ended up calling someone to comecheck on me.
And I remember the cop coming upto me and he it was pouring
rain. He sat outside my car in the
pouring rain for like 2 hours trying to talk me out of this
panic attack. And when I finally was able to
have, you know, words come out that weren't just babbling and I
was telling him about my situation, I remember he went
back to his car and he got a pamphlet on domestic violence
(16:18):
and he handed it to me. And he was like, I've seen this
case so many times over and over.
And if you stay in this relationship, you're going to
get yourself killed. That was the rock bottom for me
where I was like, OK. I have.
To get out of this and I have tobe done and I have to leave.
And I started to try to figure out how I was supposed to build
my own self-confidence back up to be able to leave.
(16:41):
Because obviously, like every time I would try to leave prior
to that, he would just tell me like how horrible I was, how I'd
be such a loser without him, howI'd never get anywhere in my
life and all this stuff. And I, I really did believe him
at the time. And I remember that one of my
best friends, Molly, she startedtelling me, talk to yourself as
if you're someone that you love.Tell yourself the things that
(17:03):
you would tell someone else going through this.
And I remember that I started towrite those things down.
And those are ultimately some ofthe things that ended up helping
me leave this relationship for good.
When I finally left that relationship and I had this like
half built out list of some reminders I had written to
myself to get out of that relationship, One of my friends
suggested, well, if you already have these, this could help
(17:24):
someone else, why don't you publish a book?
And I was like, you know what, that's a really great idea.
And so that was kind of how it started out and how it came to
be. And then I worked on it for a
couple more months. People like why 101?
And I just felt like 100 was a good, a good number, but Indian
culture, culture always add the extra 1 for good luck.
(17:45):
So that was kind of just. How I and prosperity and
continuation, yeah. Yeah.
So that was just kind of how it came to be.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I mean, I know this story and every time I hear you talking
about it or I think about it, I just, I'm so grateful to that
(18:09):
cop. Me too.
And to you, for your strength. I know what it's like to be in
an emotionally abusive relationship.
Thankfully, I didn't have to experience other kinds of abuse,
but I know what it's like to have someone make you feel like
(18:30):
a complete shell of yourself. Yeah, and as I said, you have
been a source of strength and inspiration to me.
I mean, I'm 10 years older than you and I still am constantly
just in awe of you and everything that you work for in
your life. Not only your strength, but your
(18:51):
positivity and your attitude andthe beauty that you emanate from
within. Also your gorgeous exterior.
But we're just such a reminder of what it means to be alive.
And I don't just mean living, but I mean to live every day
(19:12):
with intention. For anyone who wants to know
more, I'm going to link the bookin the podcast description.
It's called 101 Reasons to Stay,and it is a beautiful collection
of reminders for us to be strong, for us to believe in
ourselves, for anyone that needsa little bit of support.
(19:35):
And I mean Neha, it's been published all over America,
maybe North America. Is that true?
Yeah, I think it's only been published in North America.
I Googled it one day like a couple months ago and I found it
was in some second hand bookstores in other countries,
which was really cool, incredible.
And I know it's in like some doctors offices and hospitals
(19:56):
for like patients to read. So I'm like really grateful
that, which sounds really weird to say, but I'm like really
grateful that I experienced whatI did and I was able to take
something that was a horrible negative experience and be able
to turn into something that's good for someone else instead of
just like experiencing somethingnegative and just like having
trauma from it. And that's it.
(20:17):
Yeah. Absolutely.
And again, that's why I say yourstrength and your resilience.
I constantly admire it. And it was kind of similar for
me with the podcast. I mean, the podcast came out of
both COVID, but also my divorce and having a really horrible
situation. Turning that through therapy
(20:40):
into something that can hopefully help others, you know,
through the podcast. Again, that's why I admire you
so much. Thanks, I marry you too.
Thanks. So now coming to more present
times, how did you decide to getinto fitness and coaching?
(21:01):
Because for me, everything that you do is all connected,
everything is one in the same. The artistic expression that you
have taken care of, your physical well-being, helping
others, all of that is related to, in my opinion, mental
well-being. So tell us please, how did you
decide to get into it? I think I started my fitness
(21:24):
page casually, like just for funwhen I was in college because my
friends would always ask me for workouts And I was, oh, like,
I'll just post whatever I do andyou can just see it there.
And it was just kind of like more fun.
I would post like a couple timesa month.
It was just my friends. I would follow it.
And then I think when I graduated college and I started
(21:44):
my first corporate job, I just like realized that I needed
something else going on in my life.
And this kind of ties back to the first part, talking about
like having something that scratches both sides of my
brain. Like just because I graduated
and got a corporate job doesn't mean I have to stop pursuing
like other aspects of my life. Absolutely.
And so, well, for one, I was like, OK, I need something
(22:06):
competitive because I just stopped being a competitive
figure skater and like, I don't know what to do with myself.
So I signed up for my first bodybuilding show.
And then I kind of just started posting about that experience
and like the workouts I was doing and kind of just about my
life in general. Like I worked a very interesting
job managing truck drivers. And so sometimes my day would
(22:29):
start at 2:00 in the morning. I would just like kind of log
like how I would eat if I started a shift at 2:00 in the
morning, what that would look like for me.
And that was kind of where I started to gain some traction
when I was in the abusive relationship.
My social media was something that was like a huge cause of
argument for our relationship. And now I realize it was because
(22:51):
it was something he couldn't control and he didn't like that
I was able to have some sort of independence and happiness in my
life apparently. But I basically had to delete
all social medias and all of my pages when I was with him, like
all my fitness stuff, which is really tough for me because at
that point I had just signed with Bang Energy, the one year
contract just kind of had to like cut everything cold Turkey.
(23:13):
And it was like a really depressing time of my life for
many reasons, but I also wasn't even able to like express myself
in the way that I wanted to, like creatively.
And so I just felt like very controlled and constricted.
And so once I left that relationship and I actually
started dating my now husband. Shout out to Nick, we love.
Him shout out at Nick, we love that he was so helpful in
(23:36):
helping me film at the gym and like helping me gain back my
confidence filming in the gym because I was so insecure like
even doing any of that after my last relationship.
And I think that like he really more than he knows really
brought back my spark for creating content, even though
like obviously not all my videosare with him, but that was just
kind of where I really fell in love with it.
And so I'd say the current page I have with me taking it
(24:00):
seriously, I probably have been doing for about like 2 1/2 years
and it's just kind of grown and evolved as I've grown and
evolved as a human, which I think is really cool.
Like when I started posting on that page, it was more like
specifically just recipes, workouts.
And now it's more my life, my vlogs, things with Nick or like
events I'm going to. And so I think it's just been
(24:21):
really cool to like see my page evolve as I've evolved as a
person. I love that, and I just want to
point out for anyone who may have experienced an abusive
relationship that when we find the people that truly see us for
who we are, they celebrate us. Yes, there is nothing of
censoring or putting us down or making us feel less than, but
(24:44):
every single thing about us is celebrated and nurtured and
they're there to to hold our hand and walk next to us.
So big shout out to Nick. Thank you for being such a great
partner to my cousin. Yes, Nick is Vest.
It's been so powerful to see theway you have taken all of these
(25:05):
different ways of self-expression and found all of
these different avenues for it. And I would love for you to tell
us more about how fitness and diet, and I don't mean dieting,
but what we eat as a coach. I would love for you to tell us
how and why that affects our mental health and what we can be
(25:27):
doing to nurture our mental health.
Because as I said before, mental, physical, spiritual,
emotional, everything is connected.
Yeah, I feel like I always tell my clients and especially my
girls that I train. Obviously everyone has like a
goal for how they want to look, but I really want to train my
girls to feel a certain way before they look a certain way,
(25:51):
if that makes sense. Health is not just about like
getting hot. That's the side effect.
Being hot is the side effect. The main goal of being healthy
is so you feel good, so you can be energetic, so you can do the
things in life that you want to do, so you can become the person
that you want to become. And I think that sometimes
people will just get so focused on, oh, I need to get skinny in
(26:11):
like 3 weeks. And then they go take some
random herbal tea, which don't even get me started on those.
And they're like, I'll be skinnyin three weeks because I'm going
to drink this tea every day and eat celery and never eat a carb.
And I'm like, what? What are we doing?
Let's restart. You're going to have no energy.
Your brain is going to be mush because nothing is powering your
brain with that. So I guess it's two separate
(26:32):
things, fitness and how you're treating your body and what
you're putting in your body. Both affect your mental health,
your fitness aspect. I always tell people like you
don't have to become the next power builder.
You do not need to be in the gymseven days a week.
You don't need to lift weights if that's not what you want to
do. You want to pick an activity
that brings you joy and brings you happiness and brings your
(26:52):
body endorphins and whatever that may be.
For me, it's weightlifting. Pick something that is bringing
your body endorphins and commit to doing that a reasonable
amount of time a week. If you are working 60 hours a
week and you have a lot going on, don't decide that you're
going to try to do this activityseven days a week for like 3
months because you're going to burn out and then give up.
(27:13):
And that's worse than if you just committed to doing it three
days a week. And we're able to build that
into a habit. Continue to do that instead of
trying to force yourself to do something for way too long and
burn out. So I always say for the fitness
aspect, pick something that is going to bring you joy.
If it's Pilates, if it's yoga, if it's walking, obviously push
yourself and whatever you're doing, but you want to pick
something that is actually. Makes sense for you?
(27:33):
Yeah, it makes sense for you andis bringing you joy, because if
it's not making you happier, you're eventually just going to
give up. And then as far as the diet side
goes, it's crazy that now we're a place where if I tell people
that I eat Whole Foods and vegetables and meat and I don't
eat processed food, they're like, wow, that's such a strict
(27:54):
diet. I'm like, no, what that's
eating, that's eating what I wasmeant to eat a diet as if I tell
you that I'm only eating lettucefor a week, that's a diet.
But I don't think people understand the importance.
And like how much it affects more than just your weight, what
you eat. So like, if you're eating a lot
of processed food, like that's gonna back up your gut.
If your gut isn't happy, your brain isn't happy.
(28:15):
Everything is all connected in your body.
And so like what you're putting into your body effects more than
just what you see in the mirror.If you're, if you're under
eating and you're not eating anycarbs and you're only eating
salads, you're not going to be mentally happy because you're
not giving yourself any fuel foryour brain.
Like we have to fuel our bodies so they can work efficiently.
Just don't feel your body on like 5 Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
(28:38):
Fuel it on some chicken and somerice and some colorful
vegetables or whatever it is. Thank you so much for sharing
all of this. You know, I feel like we are
living in a time where people goto extremes and there is such a
lack of understanding of what itmeans to live in moderation.
I am someone, for example, who absolutely loves food.
(29:00):
Like, I love to eat, but becauseI love to eat, I don't like to
have any sort of restrictive mindset around eating.
And what that means is I don't want somebody to tell me you can
only have 4 carrots and three florets of broccoli and three
bites of chicken. Like, don't tell me that.
(29:20):
Because if I start from a negative perspective, a negative
mindset, it will not be sustainable.
Yeah. But because I don't want to
limit the quantity of what I eat, meaning I don't, I don't
want to have to ration out things.
I'm very mindful of what I'm putting in my body.
So I love to cook. I love to know exactly what I'm
putting in. I don't eat processed foods.
(29:42):
I don't eat fast food. I don't eat, I don't drink soft
drinks. I rarely drink alcohol.
I don't eat a lot of sugar. So I know that I can eat well in
my meals, for example, because I'm not, you know, first of all,
taking up calories with a lot ofnonsense.
And secondly, I'm giving my bodythe right energy to be able to
(30:03):
do the things that I need to do throughout the day.
And I think what a lot of peopledon't realize, and I certainly
didn't realize this until maybe some years ago, is that the way
we function is dependent on our sleep, our diet, and our
exercise routine. So as a concert pianist, I
prioritize sleep, eating well, and exercising over practicing.
(30:28):
Because if I don't sleep well, I'm not going to be able to
focus while I'm practicing. If I'm not eating well, I don't
have the physical energy to be able to focus or do what I need
to do. And if I'm not exercising, I
have back pain. Because as soon as you turn 30,
things are like, OK, we're done.That's what happened to me
anyway. So for me, exercising became
(30:51):
physically a thing of maintaining my structural being
as a concert pianist. But what's really interesting is
that when I used to exercise when I was younger, and This is
why I keep, I always try to tellmy fellow musicians and my
students, don't exercise to loseweight or to get in shape.
(31:11):
Work out for your mental health.Yes, first and foremost because
when I was younger, I used to exercise vaguely during in
college because I wanted to loseweight.
It was never sustainable. I would go running.
I hated it so much. It was never sustainable.
And it was only in 2020 when I started going through a divorce.
And I was after, you know, beingin lockdown for two months that
(31:34):
the only thing I could do was get outside for a walk at that
time. And I would go on these like 1
1/2 two hour walks. I would call them my mental
health walks because literally that was the only thing that was
keeping me sane. And then I started to work out
regularly. And it was very small, like I'd
go for like an hour and a half walk and then do like 20 minutes
of like planks and maybe some ABstuff and some glute stuff and
(31:58):
some arm stuff, like very basic.And then it started increasing.
And then I started doing Pilatesand then I started doing
kickboxing. And then I started finding these
other ways of keeping my mind and my body healthy, and I
wanted to say something in response to what you said
earlier. We not only need to find what's
(32:22):
right for us, meaning what brings us joy and what brings us
those endorphins and what feels good, but we also have to
remember that that might change throughout the years, throughout
the months. When I was younger in my 20s, I
did yoga for a long time, maybe for 10 years or something, and I
really loved it. And then there was a point where
(32:43):
I would walk like 2 hours a day and that was my thing.
And then kickboxing was what I was into for like a year and a
half. And now for the last two years,
it's been Pilates with a mixtureof strength training.
And as I evolve as a person, andI also am growing in age, I see
how my body is changing. I mean, now I'm much closer to
40 than I am to 30, and I see how my body's changing.
(33:06):
I see how it's adapting and not adapting as quickly, for
example. And so I think it's so essential
that we are flexible not only with our habits but with our
mindsets. Yes, absolutely.
Yeah. I think the one thing I was
going to add on to that is I think that a lot of people have
a notion that exercise is like away to punish your body.
(33:29):
And it's like, oh, like, I dranka lot this weekend.
Like, I have to burn all that off or I ate a lot.
I have to like, get rid of it orlike, I need to do this and
like, torture myself so I'm hot and skinny, whatever it is.
But exercise is really supposed to be a way for you to nourish
yourself and build yourself up. Like, it should not be a torture
session. It should be something that's
good for your body. That's a mindset change that I
(33:51):
tried to, like, instill in all my clients as well as we are not
punishing our body for what we did over the weekend.
We are building our body up by doing this.
I think mindset makes all the difference and I'm so glad
you're saying that. And I think that's a societal,
possibly capitalistic way of getting people to go to the gym.
For me, I don't restrict myself with anything.
(34:12):
I'm actually extremely disciplined about what I put in
my body, but I don't restrict myself.
If I want to eat a cookie, I'm going to eat a cookie because
that short term happiness adds to my long term happiness.
And I'm aware because I eat healthy in the rest of the time.
I have reserves where I can havelike a cheat meal or I can binge
(34:36):
a little bit on some snacks or some sweets or or something or
whatever. But I think this mindset of
extremity is so dangerous because ultimately we need a
little bit of everything, so to say.
We need carbs, we need protein, we need vegetables, we need
fiber, we don't need sugar. Sure, it's not the best thing
for us. And we there are so many studies
(34:57):
that tell us all of the evidenceof hormonal balances and the
spike that glucose does in our body.
But we need it for our mental health.
Because you know what? Yes, some of us like a cookie or
a piece of cake. After dinner every night?
Exactly. But again, if you're mindful of
what you're putting in your body.
You can. I don't even want to say you can
(35:17):
afford that because again, that's restrictive.
You can allow yourself the spacefor that variety.
Yeah, I agree. I think it's just obviously not
restricting. So you allow yourself to eat
everything. It's just listening to what your
body needs. OK, you want a sweet treat?
Eat one cookie. Don't eat maybe the entire pack
of cookies. But like, as long as we're
eating one cookie, like there's nothing wrong with that or
(35:39):
nothing wrong with a drink when you're out with your friends.
Nothing wrong with a slice of pizza here and there.
It's just more. If that's what your everyday
looks like, then you're probablynot going to be feeling the best
if you're surviving off of pizza, alcohol, and chocolate
chip. Cookies, right?
And also it's about longevity. I mean, exercising.
I wish somebody had told me in my 20s that I should be
exercising for longevity, for the health of my muscles and the
(36:03):
health of my bones, that I should have started strength
training in my 20s because that's what's going to help my
bones be strong when I'm in my 70s or 80s.
So as musicians, we are athletesand we are not taught how
important it is to take care of our physical well-being.
(36:24):
We're certainly not taught how to take care of our mental.
Well-being so. I am always grateful for these
kind of conversations to spread a bit more knowledge and
awareness. Yeah, I definitely agree.
Neha, thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you for being on the podcast and thank you for
sharing your vulnerability with us.
I mean, I know so much of what you've gone through, and as I
(36:47):
said, you should have never had to deal with a lot of the things
that you've dealt with, but you are a beacon of light and hope
for so many people. And I know that even just you
speaking about some of the things you've had to deal with
today on the podcast, I know that's going to help a lot of
people. So thank you for your courage
and your vulnerability. Thanks for having me and thanks
(37:10):
for giving me a. Safe space to talk about it.
Thank you all so much for listening.
I am. Truly grateful for the support.
Please share this episode in this podcast because the more
awareness we bring to mental health, the sooner we can break
the stigmas around these topics and the faster we can help make
(37:30):
our world a healthier. Place.
Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
And see you next. Week for another episode of The
Conscious Artist.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of The Conscious
Artist, a safe space for conversations around mental
health awareness for musicians, artists, and all human beings.
I am your host, Pallavi Mahidera, and I'm thrilled that
you are joining us today. I love the community we have.
Developed together through this show.
And I'm committed to continuing to give a platform for voices
(00:25):
and stories to be shared when weallow others and ourselves to
feel seen and heard. We create.
Much needed change in this industry and in this world.
So thank you for supporting thiscommunity.
Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts
and let's. Get started.
(00:50):
My guest today is a very specialone to me.
She's a fitness coach, content creator, and former competitive
figure skater based in Charleston, SC.
She's known for sharing a real look at fitness mindset in daily
life, balancing her work in the corporate world with her passion
for health and coaching. Not only is she extremely
talented in a variety of things artistically, but she is truly
(01:13):
the strongest person I know. And the extra special part is
that I've gotten to see her growup watching her through every
stage of life. So please join me in giving a
warm welcome to my cousin Neha Alicia Dyas.
Neha, thank you so much for being here on The Conscious
Artist today. Thanks for having me, I'm
excited. It is my pleasure.
I've been wanting to have you onthe show for a long time.
(01:36):
You have experienced honestly somany hardships in your life that
you never should have had to face and get through every
difficult moment. I have watched your strength and
your courage persevere. I am constantly inspired by you.
It's a mixture of wanting to protect you because of my little
cousin and just being floored byyour resilience.
(01:57):
I obviously know many things about your life, but I want to
give our listeners a chance to get to know you through your own
words. So I want to go back several
years and start from the beginning.
For many years you were trainingas a competitive figure skater
and I remember your mom always sewing the most beautiful
outfits for you to compete in. Can you tell us how you got into
(02:18):
figure skating and what drew youinto this artistic expression?
Yeah, it's actually a kind of funny story.
So my parents moved to Houston, TX when I was 5 and where we
were there wasn't a ton to do and I was kind of a hyperactive
child. So my mom signed me up for ice
skating lessons at the local mall so that she could drop me
(02:41):
off and I would go skating and she could go shopping.
Little did she know that it was going to become like the most
expensive thing in my parents life for 18 years.
But that's kind of how I got into it.
And I just remember, I mean I was so little when I started.
I don't remember a whole lot about my first couple of times
on the ice, but I just remember that I felt very free and I was
(03:01):
really short and close to the ground.
So I feel like when I fell it didn't really hurt as bad.
Now when I fall, I'm like, wow, I'm way too old to be doing this
sport, but I just felt like it was a lot of fun.
I could get my energy out and itwas creative and I got to play
like different characters. I think my first competition I
was like Pocahontas. So it was kind of a mixture of a
lot of different experiences and1 for me.
(03:23):
That's really beautiful and you have skated continuously almost,
but at some point you had to sort of stop pursuing it in any
sort of competitive manner. Can you share with our audience
what made you have to stop? Yeah, so any sport is a little
bit dangerous, but figure skating in general with your
(03:43):
when you're on the ice and you're not really wearing any
protection. I definitely grew up pretty
bumped and bruised. But my freshman year of college
I had an accident on the ice andI basically got a double
concussion on the front of my head and the back of my head.
Ended up having to drop out my first semester of college and go
back home. And I went through like months
of rehab and PT just to kind of get back to a point of being
(04:06):
like a normal person. And then even after that, it
took much longer to get back on the ice and be able to skate
again. But basically from there, I was
kind of advised not to try superhard with jumps or like anything
where I could get another concussion because as we're all
starting to like learn about concussions, the more you have,
the more detrimental they are each time.
(04:28):
And so just with that concussionbeing so bad, I couldn't really
afford to get any more after that.
I remember that time and you would have to like sit in your
room in darkness. Yeah, I had to go through
something. This was like probably the
craziest experience I'd ever hadin my entire life.
I basically got all electronics taken away.
(04:48):
So like, no phone, no TV, no computer, not even music.
So like no iPod, nothing. Couldn't have any lights on,
couldn't open the blinds, couldn't read any books,
couldn't listen to music. The way I like explain to people
is like if you break your arm, they put it in a cast so you
can't use your arm so it can heal.
But with your brain, you can't really like put your brain in a
cast. So they just try to take away
(05:10):
everything that would make your brain work.
So it's like sensory deprivation.
Any sort of stimulation, yeah. Yeah, so I couldn't have any
stimulation. So I just laid in my room for
three weeks with nothing. My parents would bring in food
to my room. Like I couldn't go out of my
room into the light or anything.Came out of that.
And Trump was the president. The Cubs won the World Series.
(05:30):
And I was in shock. It was crazy.
Oh, my God. But that in itself is also
extremely traumatic because not getting sunlight for three
weeks, not having any clue of what time it is, what day it is.
I, I I can't even imagine. How did you cope with that?
Yeah. Well, the one thing about
concussions is you do sleep a lot.
So I was probably sleeping about18 or 20 hours of each day the
(05:55):
whole time I was there because my brain just needed to recover
that bad. And even like to this day
because of that one concussion, like if I don't have I have an
alarm set or if I don't have my blinds open, I can sleep like
over 24 hours straight like without even waking up.
Oh my God. Yeah, so if I don't like set an
alarm or I sleep in like a room with no windows, I just won't
(06:16):
wake up. I'll just keep sleeping.
Oh my goodness. Yeah, it was definitely taxing
for my mental health. I definitely had to, like, think
a lot about myself. I mean, what else you gonna do
in there? And like, my identity.
And I remember I actually wrote an article, like after I got out
of it that kind of went viral about how I felt like I had to
(06:37):
completely recreate myself identity because I had always
identified myself. And people always identify me as
like, Naha, the figure skater, because it was such a unique
association to have there. I grew up in the South.
There were like 15 skaters in myentire city in my age group.
And so like, when I was there, Ididn't even know if I was going
to be able to like, competitively skate again after
(06:59):
my injuries. So like, I just remember like,
having to completely like, retrain my brain to associate my
self-confidence in something other than just being a figure
skater. That's incredible.
And that's so interesting because I mean, figure skating
is a beautiful form of art. And I think as artists, I talk
about this a lot on my podcast. We often have difficulty
(07:20):
separating who we are from what we do because unlike being a
banker or a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant, which are to a
certain extent jobs, an artisticfield, an artistic profession is
often not a job, but it's a passion.
It's a way of life. It's a calling for a lot of
(07:42):
people. And to separate the person from
the artist is quite hard. It's called identity fusion.
And I have found myself throughout my life.
When I introduce myself, I say hi, I'm Pallavi, I'm a concert
pianist, but not because it's what I do, but it because it's
who I am. And so having to figure that out
(08:02):
all by yourself in the darkness for three weeks, I mean, that's
incredible. Yeah, not, not the most fun time
in my life, but we made it out. And you just have to learn to
grow and adapt. And I feel like the one thing
that I will say about myself that I'm very proud of through
all of the different hardships I've gone through is it has
taught me so well how to like, take something on the chin and
(08:24):
then adapt and like be able to move on.
Whereas something that I might have done before experiencing
some things is just dwell on it and freeze on it and not know
how to like move on and adapt. And so I do think that, like
through everything, learning howto adapt and change has really
helped me, I guess, navigate life.
Like I said, you are truly the strongest person I know to go
(08:44):
through this sort of recovery through the concussion, but
you've also had to recover many times.
I don't think people understand sometimes how long a concussion
can affect you, but I had multiple side effects from the
concussion for pretty much all of my college career.
If I would go to a class and, you know, the teachers
presenting on a whiteboard, obviously I can see the words on
(09:05):
the screen, but at the same time, I couldn't comprehend any
of the words on the screen. And so, like, things like that
would happen. I would get these horrible
migraines and then pass out. My roommates would find me
asleep on the kitchen floor in the garage or like in the most
random places. And there wasn't really any
specific medication that anyone could give me that was going to
(09:25):
make all of these concussion symptoms go away.
I just had to kind of like learnhow to deal with them.
Although you haven't been able to skate competitively since, I
know that you still enjoy doing it from time to time and I know
that you were coaching skating for some time.
I do still skate for fun, I think it's just a good way to
stay active and keep my body moving.
(09:45):
Definitely whenever I do go skate though, I realized that
I'm getting older and I can't dothings I used to do, but it's
still like a fun outlet and it just makes me feel free.
I used to coach a lot more when I lived in Columbus.
I was coaching like figure skating for the beginner group
classes and then also some hockey and I really enjoyed it.
I just think that since moving here, I've had so many other
(10:06):
things going on that I've had toprioritize that.
I just haven't been able to commit to that.
And I'm traveling so much. I can't say that I'm going to
coach and then be like, by the way, I'm going out of town for
two months, so hope that's OK. Sure.
No, I get that. But what I have seen with you is
that you have so much artistic talent, whether it's been
(10:27):
through skating, through piano, through painting, through
cooking, like you have so much artistic expression.
And I'm really curious to know if the content creation that has
come through your work over the last several years, if you find
that to be another way to express yourself creatively.
I definitely think so. I think that, and I've said this
(10:49):
before too, like because people always ask like, oh, would you
ever quit your corporate job just to do content?
And I think that the two separate sides scratch different
parts of my brain, if that makessense.
I really like having a job that's like super analytical
with critical thinking and that logical side of my head that I
think probably come from playingchess growing up and needing
that kind of stimulation. But the content creation side
(11:11):
really does feed into more of the artistic side of me and like
being able to create something. And you're mentioning that like
I like to do art in different forms.
I think I just like to recreate my identity in different ways,
if that makes sense. I think people think that once
you grow up, quote UN quote, youhave to work.
Your work is your life and then you just hang out with your
friends, your partner, you have kids.
That's kind of what your life is.
(11:32):
And I think that people should know more that you can recreate
your identity in multiple ways. Like there's no one saying that
you can't grow up and still pursue your passions at the same
time. No one's saying you can't become
multiple versions of yourself. Even talking to my friends,
they're like, I don't understandhow you can just have so many
talents. It's like, well, I, I nurtured
all of those things. I didn't just wake up one day
and become a good cook. I just decided that I wanted to
(11:55):
pursue that outlet. OK?
Like, let me work on it. Let me nurture it.
So I just think that that's something that's important to
tell people. I'm so glad that you said that.
And yes, I forgot to mention that you are also a national
chess champion. So.
That's OK, We didn't. We didn't really need to bring
up that I was a nerd. But just like, I just need to
let everyone know how talented you are.
(12:15):
But yes, I love that you're saying this.
It's about being, I mean, if I can say it in my own words, it's
about being intentional with your life as well.
And I feel it's so fundamental to have some sort of
self-expression for our mental well-being.
I really think so. And I, I agree with you that we
(12:36):
are trained as a society to believe that success has one
path or our life has to look like one path.
And we're trained that, OK, you go to school and then you go to
college and then you get a job and then you get married and you
have 2.5 kids in a house with a white picket fence.
And that's life. And my life has never looked
like that. And I think perhaps starting
(12:58):
from the fact that my life has never looked like that and
wasn't really possible to look like that, it has allowed me to
question why. And I'm so thankful that I think
it's also a younger generation thing.
I think your generation also is much more aware.
Yeah, for sure. Gen.
Z's are much more aware of living life, not surviving life.
(13:21):
Yeah, for sure. So in the list of unending list
of talents that you have anotherthing that you are as a
published author. In 2022, you wrote a book called
101 Reasons to Stay, a collection of reminders for the
days you feel alone. And I remember when you told me
you were writing this book and that you were about to publish
(13:43):
it, I was just like, Oh my goodness, you are such a boss
woman. Please tell us.
I know that the origin story behind the book is not as Boss
Womany, but if you feel comfortable, will you tell us
why you wrote this book? Well, to start, I I've always
felt like mental health was really important.
One of my best friends committedsuicide when I was in 9th grade.
(14:05):
She was 13 years old and I stillto this day remember walking
into the Funeral Home and seeingher in a casket.
And it was such a traumatizing experience when I was so young.
And we, I feel like mental health was people were like made
jokes about it back then, like it wasn't something to be taken
seriously. And just having that experience
at a young age and seeing a friend go through something so
painful and then ultimately end her life has always made me have
(14:28):
a soft spot for mental health. But the origin story of my book
was I was in about a year long horribly abusive relationship.
And during that time the guy I was dating basically destroyed
my self-confidence in every aspect and kind of took away the
(14:48):
things that I felt like I had the most confidence in at the
same time. To the point where by the end of
the relationship, I literally fully believed that I was
stupid, ugly, a loser, horrible at everything, couldn't do
anything without him. That I was way below his league
and like just all of these horrible things about myself
because he had just continued totell me those things time and
(15:10):
time again. And how when he would abuse me
it was oh that was my fault because I did blank or whatever
it was. So I was just like in such a bad
place mentally because of everything that I was going
through. And I finally got to a breaking
point where I knew I had to leave the relationship but I
literally didn't have the self-confidence to do it.
And I remember exactly where I was because I was driving back.
(15:32):
He was on the phone with me in the car and he started
completely obliterating me with horrible language and I had a
panic attack while driving and pulled over the side of the
highway and was hyperventilatingin the car for like 2 hours.
Eventually a state trooper pulled up behind me and he came
to talk to me and the reason that he came was because my best
friends saw that my location hadn't moved in like 2 hours and
(15:56):
ended up calling someone to comecheck on me.
And I remember the cop coming upto me and he it was pouring
rain. He sat outside my car in the
pouring rain for like 2 hours trying to talk me out of this
panic attack. And when I finally was able to
have, you know, words come out that weren't just babbling and I
was telling him about my situation, I remember he went
back to his car and he got a pamphlet on domestic violence
(16:18):
and he handed it to me. And he was like, I've seen this
case so many times over and over.
And if you stay in this relationship, you're going to
get yourself killed. That was the rock bottom for me
where I was like, OK. I have.
To get out of this and I have tobe done and I have to leave.
And I started to try to figure out how I was supposed to build
my own self-confidence back up to be able to leave.
(16:41):
Because obviously, like every time I would try to leave prior
to that, he would just tell me like how horrible I was, how I'd
be such a loser without him, howI'd never get anywhere in my
life and all this stuff. And I, I really did believe him
at the time. And I remember that one of my
best friends, Molly, she startedtelling me, talk to yourself as
if you're someone that you love.Tell yourself the things that
(17:03):
you would tell someone else going through this.
And I remember that I started towrite those things down.
And those are ultimately some ofthe things that ended up helping
me leave this relationship for good.
When I finally left that relationship and I had this like
half built out list of some reminders I had written to
myself to get out of that relationship, One of my friends
suggested, well, if you already have these, this could help
(17:24):
someone else, why don't you publish a book?
And I was like, you know what, that's a really great idea.
And so that was kind of how it started out and how it came to
be. And then I worked on it for a
couple more months. People like why 101?
And I just felt like 100 was a good, a good number, but Indian
culture, culture always add the extra 1 for good luck.
(17:45):
So that was kind of just. How I and prosperity and
continuation, yeah. Yeah.
So that was just kind of how it came to be.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I mean, I know this story and every time I hear you talking
about it or I think about it, I just, I'm so grateful to that
(18:09):
cop. Me too.
And to you, for your strength. I know what it's like to be in
an emotionally abusive relationship.
Thankfully, I didn't have to experience other kinds of abuse,
but I know what it's like to have someone make you feel like
(18:30):
a complete shell of yourself. Yeah, and as I said, you have
been a source of strength and inspiration to me.
I mean, I'm 10 years older than you and I still am constantly
just in awe of you and everything that you work for in
your life. Not only your strength, but your
(18:51):
positivity and your attitude andthe beauty that you emanate from
within. Also your gorgeous exterior.
But we're just such a reminder of what it means to be alive.
And I don't just mean living, but I mean to live every day
(19:12):
with intention. For anyone who wants to know
more, I'm going to link the bookin the podcast description.
It's called 101 Reasons to Stay,and it is a beautiful collection
of reminders for us to be strong, for us to believe in
ourselves, for anyone that needsa little bit of support.
(19:35):
And I mean Neha, it's been published all over America,
maybe North America. Is that true?
Yeah, I think it's only been published in North America.
I Googled it one day like a couple months ago and I found it
was in some second hand bookstores in other countries,
which was really cool, incredible.
And I know it's in like some doctors offices and hospitals
(19:56):
for like patients to read. So I'm like really grateful
that, which sounds really weird to say, but I'm like really
grateful that I experienced whatI did and I was able to take
something that was a horrible negative experience and be able
to turn into something that's good for someone else instead of
just like experiencing somethingnegative and just like having
trauma from it. And that's it.
(20:17):
Yeah. Absolutely.
And again, that's why I say yourstrength and your resilience.
I constantly admire it. And it was kind of similar for
me with the podcast. I mean, the podcast came out of
both COVID, but also my divorce and having a really horrible
situation. Turning that through therapy
(20:40):
into something that can hopefully help others, you know,
through the podcast. Again, that's why I admire you
so much. Thanks, I marry you too.
Thanks. So now coming to more present
times, how did you decide to getinto fitness and coaching?
(21:01):
Because for me, everything that you do is all connected,
everything is one in the same. The artistic expression that you
have taken care of, your physical well-being, helping
others, all of that is related to, in my opinion, mental
well-being. So tell us please, how did you
decide to get into it? I think I started my fitness
(21:24):
page casually, like just for funwhen I was in college because my
friends would always ask me for workouts And I was, oh, like,
I'll just post whatever I do andyou can just see it there.
And it was just kind of like more fun.
I would post like a couple timesa month.
It was just my friends. I would follow it.
And then I think when I graduated college and I started
(21:44):
my first corporate job, I just like realized that I needed
something else going on in my life.
And this kind of ties back to the first part, talking about
like having something that scratches both sides of my
brain. Like just because I graduated
and got a corporate job doesn't mean I have to stop pursuing
like other aspects of my life. Absolutely.
And so, well, for one, I was like, OK, I need something
(22:06):
competitive because I just stopped being a competitive
figure skater and like, I don't know what to do with myself.
So I signed up for my first bodybuilding show.
And then I kind of just started posting about that experience
and like the workouts I was doing and kind of just about my
life in general. Like I worked a very interesting
job managing truck drivers. And so sometimes my day would
(22:29):
start at 2:00 in the morning. I would just like kind of log
like how I would eat if I started a shift at 2:00 in the
morning, what that would look like for me.
And that was kind of where I started to gain some traction
when I was in the abusive relationship.
My social media was something that was like a huge cause of
argument for our relationship. And now I realize it was because
(22:51):
it was something he couldn't control and he didn't like that
I was able to have some sort of independence and happiness in my
life apparently. But I basically had to delete
all social medias and all of my pages when I was with him, like
all my fitness stuff, which is really tough for me because at
that point I had just signed with Bang Energy, the one year
contract just kind of had to like cut everything cold Turkey.
(23:13):
And it was like a really depressing time of my life for
many reasons, but I also wasn't even able to like express myself
in the way that I wanted to, like creatively.
And so I just felt like very controlled and constricted.
And so once I left that relationship and I actually
started dating my now husband. Shout out to Nick, we love.
Him shout out at Nick, we love that he was so helpful in
(23:36):
helping me film at the gym and like helping me gain back my
confidence filming in the gym because I was so insecure like
even doing any of that after my last relationship.
And I think that like he really more than he knows really
brought back my spark for creating content, even though
like obviously not all my videosare with him, but that was just
kind of where I really fell in love with it.
And so I'd say the current page I have with me taking it
(24:00):
seriously, I probably have been doing for about like 2 1/2 years
and it's just kind of grown and evolved as I've grown and
evolved as a human, which I think is really cool.
Like when I started posting on that page, it was more like
specifically just recipes, workouts.
And now it's more my life, my vlogs, things with Nick or like
events I'm going to. And so I think it's just been
(24:21):
really cool to like see my page evolve as I've evolved as a
person. I love that, and I just want to
point out for anyone who may have experienced an abusive
relationship that when we find the people that truly see us for
who we are, they celebrate us. Yes, there is nothing of
censoring or putting us down or making us feel less than, but
(24:44):
every single thing about us is celebrated and nurtured and
they're there to to hold our hand and walk next to us.
So big shout out to Nick. Thank you for being such a great
partner to my cousin. Yes, Nick is Vest.
It's been so powerful to see theway you have taken all of these
(25:05):
different ways of self-expression and found all of
these different avenues for it. And I would love for you to tell
us more about how fitness and diet, and I don't mean dieting,
but what we eat as a coach. I would love for you to tell us
how and why that affects our mental health and what we can be
(25:27):
doing to nurture our mental health.
Because as I said before, mental, physical, spiritual,
emotional, everything is connected.
Yeah, I feel like I always tell my clients and especially my
girls that I train. Obviously everyone has like a
goal for how they want to look, but I really want to train my
girls to feel a certain way before they look a certain way,
(25:51):
if that makes sense. Health is not just about like
getting hot. That's the side effect.
Being hot is the side effect. The main goal of being healthy
is so you feel good, so you can be energetic, so you can do the
things in life that you want to do, so you can become the person
that you want to become. And I think that sometimes
people will just get so focused on, oh, I need to get skinny in
(26:11):
like 3 weeks. And then they go take some
random herbal tea, which don't even get me started on those.
And they're like, I'll be skinnyin three weeks because I'm going
to drink this tea every day and eat celery and never eat a carb.
And I'm like, what? What are we doing?
Let's restart. You're going to have no energy.
Your brain is going to be mush because nothing is powering your
brain with that. So I guess it's two separate
(26:32):
things, fitness and how you're treating your body and what
you're putting in your body. Both affect your mental health,
your fitness aspect. I always tell people like you
don't have to become the next power builder.
You do not need to be in the gymseven days a week.
You don't need to lift weights if that's not what you want to
do. You want to pick an activity
that brings you joy and brings you happiness and brings your
(26:52):
body endorphins and whatever that may be.
For me, it's weightlifting. Pick something that is bringing
your body endorphins and commit to doing that a reasonable
amount of time a week. If you are working 60 hours a
week and you have a lot going on, don't decide that you're
going to try to do this activityseven days a week for like 3
months because you're going to burn out and then give up.
(27:13):
And that's worse than if you just committed to doing it three
days a week. And we're able to build that
into a habit. Continue to do that instead of
trying to force yourself to do something for way too long and
burn out. So I always say for the fitness
aspect, pick something that is going to bring you joy.
If it's Pilates, if it's yoga, if it's walking, obviously push
yourself and whatever you're doing, but you want to pick
something that is actually. Makes sense for you?
(27:33):
Yeah, it makes sense for you andis bringing you joy, because if
it's not making you happier, you're eventually just going to
give up. And then as far as the diet side
goes, it's crazy that now we're a place where if I tell people
that I eat Whole Foods and vegetables and meat and I don't
eat processed food, they're like, wow, that's such a strict
(27:54):
diet. I'm like, no, what that's
eating, that's eating what I wasmeant to eat a diet as if I tell
you that I'm only eating lettucefor a week, that's a diet.
But I don't think people understand the importance.
And like how much it affects more than just your weight, what
you eat. So like, if you're eating a lot
of processed food, like that's gonna back up your gut.
If your gut isn't happy, your brain isn't happy.
(28:15):
Everything is all connected in your body.
And so like what you're putting into your body effects more than
just what you see in the mirror.If you're, if you're under
eating and you're not eating anycarbs and you're only eating
salads, you're not going to be mentally happy because you're
not giving yourself any fuel foryour brain.
Like we have to fuel our bodies so they can work efficiently.
Just don't feel your body on like 5 Chick-fil-A sandwiches.
(28:38):
Fuel it on some chicken and somerice and some colorful
vegetables or whatever it is. Thank you so much for sharing
all of this. You know, I feel like we are
living in a time where people goto extremes and there is such a
lack of understanding of what itmeans to live in moderation.
I am someone, for example, who absolutely loves food.
(29:00):
Like, I love to eat, but becauseI love to eat, I don't like to
have any sort of restrictive mindset around eating.
And what that means is I don't want somebody to tell me you can
only have 4 carrots and three florets of broccoli and three
bites of chicken. Like, don't tell me that.
(29:20):
Because if I start from a negative perspective, a negative
mindset, it will not be sustainable.
Yeah. But because I don't want to
limit the quantity of what I eat, meaning I don't, I don't
want to have to ration out things.
I'm very mindful of what I'm putting in my body.
So I love to cook. I love to know exactly what I'm
putting in. I don't eat processed foods.
(29:42):
I don't eat fast food. I don't eat, I don't drink soft
drinks. I rarely drink alcohol.
I don't eat a lot of sugar. So I know that I can eat well in
my meals, for example, because I'm not, you know, first of all,
taking up calories with a lot ofnonsense.
And secondly, I'm giving my bodythe right energy to be able to
(30:03):
do the things that I need to do throughout the day.
And I think what a lot of peopledon't realize, and I certainly
didn't realize this until maybe some years ago, is that the way
we function is dependent on our sleep, our diet, and our
exercise routine. So as a concert pianist, I
prioritize sleep, eating well, and exercising over practicing.
(30:28):
Because if I don't sleep well, I'm not going to be able to
focus while I'm practicing. If I'm not eating well, I don't
have the physical energy to be able to focus or do what I need
to do. And if I'm not exercising, I
have back pain. Because as soon as you turn 30,
things are like, OK, we're done.That's what happened to me
anyway. So for me, exercising became
(30:51):
physically a thing of maintaining my structural being
as a concert pianist. But what's really interesting is
that when I used to exercise when I was younger, and This is
why I keep, I always try to tellmy fellow musicians and my
students, don't exercise to loseweight or to get in shape.
(31:11):
Work out for your mental health.Yes, first and foremost because
when I was younger, I used to exercise vaguely during in
college because I wanted to loseweight.
It was never sustainable. I would go running.
I hated it so much. It was never sustainable.
And it was only in 2020 when I started going through a divorce.
And I was after, you know, beingin lockdown for two months that
(31:34):
the only thing I could do was get outside for a walk at that
time. And I would go on these like 1
1/2 two hour walks. I would call them my mental
health walks because literally that was the only thing that was
keeping me sane. And then I started to work out
regularly. And it was very small, like I'd
go for like an hour and a half walk and then do like 20 minutes
of like planks and maybe some ABstuff and some glute stuff and
(31:58):
some arm stuff, like very basic.And then it started increasing.
And then I started doing Pilatesand then I started doing
kickboxing. And then I started finding these
other ways of keeping my mind and my body healthy, and I
wanted to say something in response to what you said
earlier. We not only need to find what's
(32:22):
right for us, meaning what brings us joy and what brings us
those endorphins and what feels good, but we also have to
remember that that might change throughout the years, throughout
the months. When I was younger in my 20s, I
did yoga for a long time, maybe for 10 years or something, and I
really loved it. And then there was a point where
(32:43):
I would walk like 2 hours a day and that was my thing.
And then kickboxing was what I was into for like a year and a
half. And now for the last two years,
it's been Pilates with a mixtureof strength training.
And as I evolve as a person, andI also am growing in age, I see
how my body is changing. I mean, now I'm much closer to
40 than I am to 30, and I see how my body's changing.
(33:06):
I see how it's adapting and not adapting as quickly, for
example. And so I think it's so essential
that we are flexible not only with our habits but with our
mindsets. Yes, absolutely.
Yeah. I think the one thing I was
going to add on to that is I think that a lot of people have
a notion that exercise is like away to punish your body.
(33:29):
And it's like, oh, like, I dranka lot this weekend.
Like, I have to burn all that off or I ate a lot.
I have to like, get rid of it orlike, I need to do this and
like, torture myself so I'm hot and skinny, whatever it is.
But exercise is really supposed to be a way for you to nourish
yourself and build yourself up. Like, it should not be a torture
session. It should be something that's
good for your body. That's a mindset change that I
(33:51):
tried to, like, instill in all my clients as well as we are not
punishing our body for what we did over the weekend.
We are building our body up by doing this.
I think mindset makes all the difference and I'm so glad
you're saying that. And I think that's a societal,
possibly capitalistic way of getting people to go to the gym.
For me, I don't restrict myself with anything.
(34:12):
I'm actually extremely disciplined about what I put in
my body, but I don't restrict myself.
If I want to eat a cookie, I'm going to eat a cookie because
that short term happiness adds to my long term happiness.
And I'm aware because I eat healthy in the rest of the time.
I have reserves where I can havelike a cheat meal or I can binge
(34:36):
a little bit on some snacks or some sweets or or something or
whatever. But I think this mindset of
extremity is so dangerous because ultimately we need a
little bit of everything, so to say.
We need carbs, we need protein, we need vegetables, we need
fiber, we don't need sugar. Sure, it's not the best thing
for us. And we there are so many studies
(34:57):
that tell us all of the evidenceof hormonal balances and the
spike that glucose does in our body.
But we need it for our mental health.
Because you know what? Yes, some of us like a cookie or
a piece of cake. After dinner every night?
Exactly. But again, if you're mindful of
what you're putting in your body.
You can. I don't even want to say you can
(35:17):
afford that because again, that's restrictive.
You can allow yourself the spacefor that variety.
Yeah, I agree. I think it's just obviously not
restricting. So you allow yourself to eat
everything. It's just listening to what your
body needs. OK, you want a sweet treat?
Eat one cookie. Don't eat maybe the entire pack
of cookies. But like, as long as we're
eating one cookie, like there's nothing wrong with that or
(35:39):
nothing wrong with a drink when you're out with your friends.
Nothing wrong with a slice of pizza here and there.
It's just more. If that's what your everyday
looks like, then you're probablynot going to be feeling the best
if you're surviving off of pizza, alcohol, and chocolate
chip. Cookies, right?
And also it's about longevity. I mean, exercising.
I wish somebody had told me in my 20s that I should be
exercising for longevity, for the health of my muscles and the
(36:03):
health of my bones, that I should have started strength
training in my 20s because that's what's going to help my
bones be strong when I'm in my 70s or 80s.
So as musicians, we are athletesand we are not taught how
important it is to take care of our physical well-being.
(36:24):
We're certainly not taught how to take care of our mental.
Well-being so. I am always grateful for these
kind of conversations to spread a bit more knowledge and
awareness. Yeah, I definitely agree.
Neha, thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you for being on the podcast and thank you for
sharing your vulnerability with us.
I mean, I know so much of what you've gone through, and as I
(36:47):
said, you should have never had to deal with a lot of the things
that you've dealt with, but you are a beacon of light and hope
for so many people. And I know that even just you
speaking about some of the things you've had to deal with
today on the podcast, I know that's going to help a lot of
people. So thank you for your courage
and your vulnerability. Thanks for having me and thanks
(37:10):
for giving me a. Safe space to talk about it.
Thank you all so much for listening.
I am. Truly grateful for the support.
Please share this episode in this podcast because the more
awareness we bring to mental health, the sooner we can break
the stigmas around these topics and the faster we can help make
(37:30):
our world a healthier. Place.
Don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
And see you next. Week for another episode of The
Conscious Artist.
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