May 23, 2024 • 19 mins
Tune into the latest episode of the Conscious Home Podcast as we explore the profound themes of vulnerability and authenticity with our special guest, Maria Fernanda (Mafe Anzures) from the I Missed Me Podcast. Known for her candid discussions about mental health amidst the often idolized facade of social media, Maria's honesty about her struggles and triumphs resonates with anyone who's ever felt lost in the shadow of their heartbreaks.
In this session, we dive deep into how vulnerability can not only shape our personal narratives but also influence our collective experience. Maria discusses her personal journey through pain, growth, and healing, and how these experiences propelled her to start her popular podcast.
This episode holds a lot of wisdom for anyone needing to reconnect with themselves, find peace amidst chaos, and begin a journey of self-healing and discovery. Maria's story and sincere advice invite you to pause, reflect, and maybe, start a dialogue with your deeper self.
- (00:00:00) Introduction: Host Blanche Garcia welcomes Maria to the podcast, highlighting her impact on promoting authenticity in digital spaces.
- (00:00:17) Rising Through Vulnerability: Maria shares why she started the I Missed Me Podcast, highlighting her initial struggles with a personal breakup and how vulnerability became her strength.
- (00:00:57) The Power of Self-Conversation: Delve into how Maria's solo recordings became a therapeutic routine, aiding her self-healing process.
- (00:01:44) From Personal Healing to Sharing: Maria reveals the transformation of her private recordings into a public podcast aimed at helping others find their path to self-awareness.
Join us as we capture these profound learnings and share a journey of embracing imperfection and cultivating self-love. Don't miss this blend of personal narrative with insightful discussion, perfect for anyone looking to enrich their understanding of themselves and how they interact with the world around them.
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𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 MARIA FERNANDA
Maria Fernanda is host of the ‘I Missed Me’ Podcast and media presence that appeals to many with her candid and authentic way of talking about mental health. In a world where social media often portrays a perfect life that is far from reality, Maria is on a mission to inspire her followers to be vulnerable and authentic by sharing her own experiences of pain, growth, and healing.
𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪 𝗛𝗘𝗥
Website | https://mafeanzures.com/
Instagram | https://instagram.com/mafeanzures
TikTok | https://tiktok.com/@mafeanzures
Youtube |
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
BLANCHE (00:08):
hi everyone.
My name is Blanche Garcia.
Welcome to the Conscious Home Podcast.
We are here with
Maria from the I Miss Me
Podcast.
And I'm actually really excitedbecause she is a podcaster
who has gained popularity
for her honest discussionsabout mental health
in a world
where social media usuallyshowcases idolized lifestyles.
(00:30):
Maria stands out by promoting the power
of vulnerability and
authenticity.
She courageously shares
her own experiences withpain, growth, and healing.
MARIA (00:38):
That's such a, beautiful introduction.
so excited to be here.
always love to hop on other people'spodcasts to share my message.
So thank you so much for the invitation.
BLANCHE (00:45):
Yeah, I
always feel like it's sharedconnection and shared energy and you
never know where it's going to go.
MARIA (00:50):
it's
BLANCHE (00:50):
So
what inspired you to start yourpodcast, and delve into the topics
of self healing, self love and self
confidence?
MARIA (00:57):
You know, a lot of people that have podcasts have the idea
to have a podcast and like have theintention of having that project.
For me, it was a little different.
I went through a breakup and Ididn't really want to go to therapy
and I was having a really hard timegetting over the pain and the breakup.
So I started recording myself on myphone and just talking with myself,
ranting and crying to my phone becauseI didn't really, You know, I've
(01:18):
never been someone to, like, openup my emotions with other people.
just like my mom, my family, andat the time, I didn't really feel
comfortable talking with anyone, soI just started talking to my phone.
And then, eventually, you know, timeheals, and I started feeling better,
so I just didn't really feel the needto record myself on my phone anymore,
and I started listening to myself.
To the first audios that I was recordingand then I was like, oh my gosh, I'm
(01:39):
so much better Maybe I can turn thisinto a project and that's how the
idea of actually starting a podcast
was born
BLANCHE (01:44):
So
kind
of through your own self healing,
you realize that maybeother people could benefit.
MARIA (01:49):
Yeah I feel like that Experience as a whole not just the audios, but a
breakup in general made me very self awareand when you start having conversations
with yourself and Really get vulnerableof the things that I have to work on and
this is the reason why it's hurting somuch you mature a lot and you become very
self aware And so truly I feel like theonly way to heal is to be self aware And
(02:09):
that's what I want to lead people to be
BLANCHE (02:11):
Exactly,
Introspection is the only way togrowth and to ask the hard questions.
And unfortunately, the way you do that isthrough certain circumstance and things
that happen to you that aren't the mostcomfortable, but they force you to grow.
exactly.
and
how has spirituality played a role inyour life, particularly in your journey
towards authenticity and self love?
MARIA (02:32):
I started my spiritual journey very young.
When I was 13, I read the Law ofAttraction, the book by Randa,
and it completely changed my life.
And I started kind of doing theexercises for people that have
read the Law of Attraction.
Know that it is a bug with like a 30or 28 day challenges Applying gratitude
into your life and I started doingthat very young and I started seeing
(02:53):
how much it was working And that issomething that never left my life.
Gratitude for me is the most importantthing to have but then I think that
a lot of people use spirituality orGod or whatever they believe in as
a cushion or as a resource to reachout to when things are going bad.
And I've been guilty of that, of justreaching out to God when things are
going bad and then when things are doingvery good, maybe not reach out as much.
(03:15):
And then when things are reallybad, be like, here I am again.
And so for me, I think, Goingthrough my breakup, at the time
I was just going through a lot.
it was a combination of a lot of thingsit was a very Big wake up call of don't
just reach out to god or the universewhen things are going bad you have to
reach out always you have to Build arelationship or work on the relationship
that you have with the universe with godall the time it's not just when things
(03:36):
are bad and so I was 17 then and I wentto therapy and It was kind of a therapy.
It was kind of like a therapy campthat I went to when I was going
through my breakup and I didn't knowit was christian until I got there.
I've never been someone who's religious.
I've always been super spiritual, butsome believes really resonated with me.
And so then I just kind of startedbuilding my own definition and my own
(03:58):
relationship of what God means to me.
And I keep it very private.
It's not something that Italk about on my podcast.
I don't think it's something that I willever talk about on my podcast, like my
relationship with God, But, Spiritualitydoes play a very big role in my life
and with my family, with my friends andit's something that is always there and
it's always present and I do feel likeit guides me to do everything that I do.
BLANCHE (04:18):
I agree.
I think that everybodyhas to find their way
and at least find aconnection to something.
Whatever they want to call it.
And you have to keepthat relationship going.
Daily and it's either
you work with it and nurtureit or you kind of starve
MARIA (04:32):
Yeah, for sure.
And just like any relationship, if youthink about how many things a romantic
relationship requires is like it'stime, it's energy, it's effort and it's
love and it's a lot of communication.
I feel like the same.
Has to be with God again, whateveryou believe in whatever you call it.
I call it God it requires the same love,communication, work, energy, effort
and some people don't see it like thatand I do I do believe that it requires
(04:54):
work and I feel like that is why Somany good things happen to me because
I do make sure that I put effort andthe time to work on that relationship
That I have with my spirituality
BLANCHE (05:03):
I agree with that.
So what
are
some practical steps individuals cantake to initiate their own journey
of self healing and self love?
MARIA (05:11):
a lot of self awareness would be my main one.
it sounds super cliche, superrepetitive, but feeling in order
to heal, is extremely important.
Because I do really believe that theonly way out is through only by feeling
your emotions You're gonna be ableto understand your emotions know why
they're there and As a consequence ofknowing why they're there also letting
(05:32):
them go and I feel like that is the mainreason why it's so important to feel
them because only by feeling them youunderstand them and once you understand
them it's easier to let them go.
I feel like a lot of times we seek closurefrom people, but in reality what we
should seek closure from is our feelingsand the way that we're feeling that
way and we waste so much time seekingclosure from another person, where In
reality, we should be seeking closurefrom our emotions and our feelings.
(05:54):
And I don't think that we do that enough.
So I think that once you starttrying to understand why you're
feeling what you're feeling, that'sthe only way that you're going to
feel better and that's how you start
healing.
BLANCHE (06:03):
I agree.
I think a lot of people
miss the step
of the relationship to self,
because
you can't have any otherrelationships that are of value.
if you don't understand yourself and youdon't have that relationship with self
and the self awareness is one of
them but the why you do things
the trigger because a
lot of times people are reacting
but they don't understandwhat the starter point was
(06:23):
right
MARIA (06:23):
something that it's super important to understand because i love talking
about psychology on my podcast andthe reason why because for me Someone
telling me to feel to heal it sounds verycliche and it's pretty hard for me to
understand the why so i always like tosay the why behind things and the reason
why it's so important to have a goodrelationship with yourself is because
our brain agrees with us it doesn't argueagainst us it agrees with us so whatever
(06:45):
you tell your brain to be true it willreflect to you on your life so if you're
constantly telling yourself that you'renot worthy that you deserve, all of the
pain that you're feeling, that you'rehurt, that you're heartbroken, it will
continue to reflect those things in yourlife because it's agreeing with you.
it's not arguing against you.
So if you're constantly telling yourselfthat you're heartbroken, your brain
will continue to put you in situationsthat make you even more heartbroken.
(07:06):
So having a good relationship withyourself means having good communication
and positive communication withyourself so that the universe or
your brain can reflect good things
to you.
BLANCHE (07:15):
when you start telling yourself certain stories,
your
body starts
reacting to that information,
good or
bad.
So that's how people createsickness in their body sometimes,
because they're creating a negativeenergy that keeps growing, and growing,
And it goes outward.
So when you create positive within yourthought process, And in your body, then
it goes out in your energetic field.
(07:35):
And then also it attracts other things
that are of like vibration.
in your opinion,
what are
some common obstacles people facewhen trying to cultivate self
love and how can they overcome it?
MARIA (07:46):
I think they base their relationship with themselves, with
Situations that they've gone throughlike if something doesn't work out
with someone It's probably becauseof me if a job doesn't work out.
It's probably because of me if Don'tknow my parents were hard on me when
I was little it's probably becauseof me and so we constantly blame
ourselves for the things that we wentthrough when in reality If something
doesn't work out, it's becausethere's something better out there.
(08:06):
If something doesn't work out,it's because we deserve better.
But that is a beliefthat has to start within.
nobody can really convince youthat everything is happening
for you and not to you.
Nobody can convince you that there issomething better for you out there.
Like, you have to believe thatyourself, and I feel like the reason
why we struggle so much to have a goodrelationship with ourselves is because
we struggle to believe that there issomething better out there for us.
(08:27):
And I think that it is because it requirestrusting and there is no proof to trust.
You know what I mean?
And we are very logical beings.
Like our brain is constantlytrying to solve problems.
And when there's a problem, we don'thave a solution to, it's really hard
to believe that there is actually asolution and that is what trusting means.
having to believe that there'sa solution, even if we don't
know how it's going to happen.
and so I feel like that's why westruggle so much to love ourselves,
(08:50):
but . If you don't love yourself,then you're never gonna receive
all of the things that you want.
You know what I mean?
BLANCHE (08:55):
I agree with that, And I also think that, Things
have divine timing too.
. and so
sometimes we're very limited.
we always put the end resultlike the options of only
what we are
limited to see.
So we'll say there'sonly three options here.
There's only three outcomes.
And so all those three may depress us,
not realizing that there are sixother that we never thought about.
(09:16):
And so we
have to allow that opening
for things that
we have no idea about,
MARIA (09:21):
For sure.
And I think that we're really hardon ourselves when things don't work
out instead of celebrating them.
And I think that once you startcelebrating them, you start vibrating
in a whole nother frequency.
that starts attracting even more thingsto celebrate like I always talk about
relationships because it's like themain topic that we talk about on my
podcast and a lot of people that aregoing through breakups or got ghosted or
are going through situationships listento me because they're kind of looking
(09:44):
for that safe space after heartbreaksuffer so much when something doesn't
work out and it's always like, thisperson ghosted me because I'm not worth
it, this person ghosted me becauseI'm going through pain, and I made
this video a couple of days ago of ifsomeone ghosted you, congratulations.
start celebrating things not workingout, because that just means that
you're just one step closer to findingwhat is actually going to work out.
and again, once you start celebratingthe things that are happening to you,
(10:07):
regardless if they're good or bad,you completely change your frequency.
And then you're gonna start attractingthings to actually have, love and
celebration for.
BLANCHE (10:13):
Well, it's interesting.
I was having this conversation as well
with somebody who got
ghosted
and I
said to her, what
kind of fears does that bring up in you?
did you
really
want
the relationship or a
relationship or was thefear bigger than the want?
And sometimes we
bring into our energy field.
The lessons that
we need to learn at that moment,the things that show us a mirror for
(10:34):
introspection.
So
it has multi facets.
that it's not meantfor you at that moment.
Maybe something better is out there.
They weren't the right thing for you.
But
also Why are you attracting that
vibration,
particularly what is it that you canlearn from that so you can put it to bed
so you can go to the next step?
MARIA (10:51):
and I think that.
We question people a lot instead ofquestioning ourselves as to why are we
allowing it Why are they ghosting me?
Why are they being mean to me?
Why are they being toxic thequestion is Why are you allowing it?
everything that we go through isalways going to take us back to our
self worth and a lesson to work onyourself and a lesson to be better.
It's not a matter of Whyis this person ghosting me?
(11:12):
The real question is, whatfrequency are you vibrating on
that is attracting those type
of relationships?
BLANCHE (11:17):
Oh,
100%.
I remember when I went through acompletely tragic relationship,
in my early 30s, and
it was horrible.
It was like earth
shattering.
And I
end up going to Omega.
to a retreat there.
It's in Rhinebeck, New York.
And I went to like a whole week retreat.
I was like, this is gonnahelp me, you know And it
actually did.
and it was two practitioners.
They were married hosting it.
(11:38):
David and Gail
gershon, I
believe.
And so we're
in
this
group
thing and
we're talking about
what we want out of our life
And our
limitations And I
remember sitting there going.
why
can't I
get
the love that
I keep giving out?
And he said
to
me, the
question is,
why are you not givingthat love to yourself?
And at the
time I was
like,
what is he
talking about?
Like, of course I love myself.
(11:58):
But the
truth
is is that if I loved myself, Iwouldn't accept that behavior.
it's very
interesting, the layers.
so could
you share some empowering practicesor affirmations that have personally
helped you on your journey
towards self love
MARIA (12:11):
love and I think it all goes back to gratitude.
never been a journalinggirl, affirmations girl.
I journal every single morning.
It's just 10 reasons why I'm grateful for.
And I've been doing that for thepast, I want to say six years, every
single morning changes your lifeand everybody should try it out.
But I've never been someonethat meditates every single day,
affirmations every single day.
I just always recommend and almost turn itinto like a, Non negotiable is gratitude.
(12:36):
Like start being grateful for everysingle thing regardless if it's hard and
regardless if you're not actually gratefulfor it because it is just training your
brain to eventually feel grateful foreverything for everything that works out
and for everything that doesn't becausegratitude is the highest frequency that
you can be vibrating on and the only
frequency that you're going to be ableto attract everything that you want
so always always always be grateful.
(12:57):
However it looks for you.
Sometimes it's not even about theword thank you, but it is about the
feeling of feeling grateful for thepeople that you have around you,
feeling grateful for the things,feeling grateful for the opportunities,
feeling grateful for your job, yourfood, your family, your everything.
And we focus so much on what wedon't have, this person left.
I don't have love.
I don't have relationships.
I don't have friends.
And you forget abouteverything that you do have.
(13:17):
And sometimes that's the blockagethat's between who you are and what
you want is focusing on what you don'thave instead of what you do and feeling
grateful and appreciating what you
do.
BLANCHE (13:26):
And I will say this, gratitude to
me is
kind
of a little bit like
meditation.
When I started
meditating, I got a lotof intrusive thoughts
and you get
sidebarred with them.
Like you're just like,
Oh my God, your
mind goes on a
tangent.
And then the
more and more that you work on it,you realize that those thoughts
aren't going to not happen.
They're going to come in, but you
notice them, see
(13:46):
them,
and then just let them go.
And it's the
same thing
with
gratitude.
you're not always goingto feel a hundred percent.
You're not always going
to
feel like, Oh my God, this is amazing.
It's
okay to acknowledge therealities in your life, but not
sink and soak in them.
And once
you acknowledge them and go,
Hey, this
makes me feel a certain way andlet it work through your body.
Then go, yeah,
but this is what I'm
(14:06):
learning from
this.
This is the gratitude I get
from This This is thesilver lining, right?
Find the silver lining.
I remember
Gabby
Bernstein, She has this thing.
I remember
during 2020 COVID lockdown.
I went through my own tipping point withhaving my daughter and things like that.
And I remember her
saying just
choose a better thought.
than
the one you
had.
That was life
changing for me at that moment.
(14:27):
Cause it was
'easy.
it was an
easy jump.
Sometimes
it's hard to be grateful
For the
lessons
you're
in, but it's very easy in the moment
to
say just pick a better
thought.
So,
where
do you see
yourself
wanting to go?
Like where do you see in the
next couple of years?
what is your
MARIA (14:42):
what is your
vision?
I would love to know, but I think thatI've been practicing presence so much
that for me, it's more about how I wouldlike to feel regardless of where I am.
I read the power of now.
And
BLANCHE (14:54):
Mmm one of
MARIA (14:55):
I
think one of my
Mm-Hmm, . I, I read it every three monthswhenever I feel like I'm kind of losing it
But, for me it's like, I don't evenknow where I'm gonna be tomorrow, but
I know how I want to feel tomorrow.
And I think that I know how I don'twant to feel because I felt it before.
I know that right now I havea lot of peace that I want to
keep regardless of where I am.
Tomorrow next week in a few monthsor in a few years I would love to
(15:19):
Grow my podcast as much as I can andshare my message as much as I can,
but I also know that if TikTok wereto be banned tomorrow and I were to
lose all of my social media tomorrowI wouldn't lose the peace that I have
right now because I don't depend on it.
And so for me it has been more a practiceof Detaching from everything that I
feel like i'm depending on so that
If in a few years it doesn't workout, I'm still going to be okay.
I could say that in a fewyears I want to be married.
(15:41):
I want my podcast to be the number onein the whole world, but if it doesn't
happen, I'm still going to be okay.
we attach so much in the result and we'rejust so, attached on how it has to happen
and when it has to happen, that if itdoesn't happen the way that we want it to
happen, we're just not going to be okay.
And I've been practicing intention withoutattachment a lot, where I know where I
want my podcast to be, but I also knowthat it's gonna happen when it's meant
(16:01):
to happen, and when I am going to beready to appreciate it, which has been
a huge one for me, of things happenwhen you're ready to receive them.
And if they're not happening right now,you're probably not ready for them.
BLANCHE (16:11):
Yeah, no, it's 100%.
I remember
I used to co host a
TV show
and
I
wanted to be in a certain place, a certain
show, do a certain
thing.
But I was doing something that
sucked the energy out of me.
And I remember being my 20s.
I was like,
I just have to keep going,
hustle on the way thereand be miserable on the way
there.
And one
day I
woke up and I was like,
(16:32):
I don't want to be miserable on the way
to something.
I want to be embodying of my
happiness in that moment.
And when I
did
that, I released the outcome.
And it's true, you go in a direction,but you have to release the outcome
because you don't know where it'sgoing to lead, but you do know
how to protect your happinesswithin those moments
MARIA (16:49):
moments as much as The problem with depending your happiness on
the result is that You really don'tknow when you're going to be happy,
because you really don't know when theresult is actually going to happen.
And so sometimes we're okaywith being miserable on the way,
because we're like, okay, once Iget there, I'm going to be happy.
But you really don't know whenyou're going to get there or
how you're going to get there.
And you can be miserable for a few daysor a few months or even a few years.
(17:11):
you decide to be happy now, youreally don't care about the end
result, because at the end of theday, you're going to feel the same.
BLANCHE (17:16):
And you don't know how long that
we're having this
life ride.
You know,
for me, I decided toincarnate here to have this
life.
So why
would I choose to be unhappy and
miserable on my way to somewhere?
I'm human.
So I'm going to havethe experience I have.
and some days are going to
be rougher
than others,
but
decide that this is when you get to
be happy.
This is when you feel fulfilled.
(17:36):
I mean, this was great.
Is there
anything else that you want to
add to this that you would
MARIA (17:40):
that you would like them I don't know.
I always, when I close my episodes,I always just ask people what does
healing mean to them because I'malways super interested and knowing
what healing means to other people.
So I guess if I were to share my answer, Iwould just say that Sometimes we focus so
hard to heal that we forget to experienceand for me what I've learned about healing
is that When you stop healing you actuallystart healing when you stop being so
(18:00):
hard on yourself on feeling 100 betterAnd you actually start experiencing and
going out and being with your friendsand being okay with being sad But then
at the same time experiencing everythingthat life has to offer you actually start
feeling better so People that listen toyour podcast people that listen to my
podcast and people that listen to all ofthese self growth podcasts are ultimately
looking to heal and if I were to share apiece of advice or a message is Just stop
(18:23):
trying so hard to heal because once youstop trying you actually start healing.
BLANCHE (18:27):
hundred percent once you stop being the seeker
Then
you're
much more of the
activator,
the attraction to what you
want because you're not
seeking anything.
You're just
being.
well, it was great
MARIA (18:37):
was
great having you
BLANCHE (18:38):
appreciate it.
MARIA (18:39):
And I'm excited to see where your
journey takes Thank you so much.
I
appreciate that.
BLANCHE (18:43):
All right.
Thanks
everybody for tuning in to the Conscious
Home
podcast
and we'll see you next
time.
MARIA (18:48):
time.
hi everyone.
My name is Blanche Garcia.
Welcome to the Conscious Home Podcast.
We are here with
Maria from the I Miss Me
Podcast.
And I'm actually really excitedbecause she is a podcaster
who has gained popularity
for her honest discussionsabout mental health
in a world
where social media usuallyshowcases idolized lifestyles.
(00:30):
Maria stands out by promoting the power
of vulnerability and
authenticity.
She courageously shares
her own experiences withpain, growth, and healing.
MARIA (00:38):
That's such a, beautiful introduction.
so excited to be here.
always love to hop on other people'spodcasts to share my message.
So thank you so much for the invitation.
BLANCHE (00:45):
Yeah, I
always feel like it's sharedconnection and shared energy and you
never know where it's going to go.
MARIA (00:50):
it's
BLANCHE (00:50):
So
what inspired you to start yourpodcast, and delve into the topics
of self healing, self love and self
confidence?
MARIA (00:57):
You know, a lot of people that have podcasts have the idea
to have a podcast and like have theintention of having that project.
For me, it was a little different.
I went through a breakup and Ididn't really want to go to therapy
and I was having a really hard timegetting over the pain and the breakup.
So I started recording myself on myphone and just talking with myself,
ranting and crying to my phone becauseI didn't really, You know, I've
(01:18):
never been someone to, like, openup my emotions with other people.
just like my mom, my family, andat the time, I didn't really feel
comfortable talking with anyone, soI just started talking to my phone.
And then, eventually, you know, timeheals, and I started feeling better,
so I just didn't really feel the needto record myself on my phone anymore,
and I started listening to myself.
To the first audios that I was recordingand then I was like, oh my gosh, I'm
(01:39):
so much better Maybe I can turn thisinto a project and that's how the
idea of actually starting a podcast
was born
BLANCHE (01:44):
So
kind
of through your own self healing,
you realize that maybeother people could benefit.
MARIA (01:49):
Yeah I feel like that Experience as a whole not just the audios, but a
breakup in general made me very self awareand when you start having conversations
with yourself and Really get vulnerableof the things that I have to work on and
this is the reason why it's hurting somuch you mature a lot and you become very
self aware And so truly I feel like theonly way to heal is to be self aware And
(02:09):
that's what I want to lead people to be
BLANCHE (02:11):
Exactly,
Introspection is the only way togrowth and to ask the hard questions.
And unfortunately, the way you do that isthrough certain circumstance and things
that happen to you that aren't the mostcomfortable, but they force you to grow.
exactly.
and
how has spirituality played a role inyour life, particularly in your journey
towards authenticity and self love?
MARIA (02:32):
I started my spiritual journey very young.
When I was 13, I read the Law ofAttraction, the book by Randa,
and it completely changed my life.
And I started kind of doing theexercises for people that have
read the Law of Attraction.
Know that it is a bug with like a 30or 28 day challenges Applying gratitude
into your life and I started doingthat very young and I started seeing
(02:53):
how much it was working And that issomething that never left my life.
Gratitude for me is the most importantthing to have but then I think that
a lot of people use spirituality orGod or whatever they believe in as
a cushion or as a resource to reachout to when things are going bad.
And I've been guilty of that, of justreaching out to God when things are
going bad and then when things are doingvery good, maybe not reach out as much.
(03:15):
And then when things are reallybad, be like, here I am again.
And so for me, I think, Goingthrough my breakup, at the time
I was just going through a lot.
it was a combination of a lot of thingsit was a very Big wake up call of don't
just reach out to god or the universewhen things are going bad you have to
reach out always you have to Build arelationship or work on the relationship
that you have with the universe with godall the time it's not just when things
(03:36):
are bad and so I was 17 then and I wentto therapy and It was kind of a therapy.
It was kind of like a therapy campthat I went to when I was going
through my breakup and I didn't knowit was christian until I got there.
I've never been someone who's religious.
I've always been super spiritual, butsome believes really resonated with me.
And so then I just kind of startedbuilding my own definition and my own
(03:58):
relationship of what God means to me.
And I keep it very private.
It's not something that Italk about on my podcast.
I don't think it's something that I willever talk about on my podcast, like my
relationship with God, But, Spiritualitydoes play a very big role in my life
and with my family, with my friends andit's something that is always there and
it's always present and I do feel likeit guides me to do everything that I do.
BLANCHE (04:18):
I agree.
I think that everybodyhas to find their way
and at least find aconnection to something.
Whatever they want to call it.
And you have to keepthat relationship going.
Daily and it's either
you work with it and nurtureit or you kind of starve
MARIA (04:32):
Yeah, for sure.
And just like any relationship, if youthink about how many things a romantic
relationship requires is like it'stime, it's energy, it's effort and it's
love and it's a lot of communication.
I feel like the same.
Has to be with God again, whateveryou believe in whatever you call it.
I call it God it requires the same love,communication, work, energy, effort
and some people don't see it like thatand I do I do believe that it requires
(04:54):
work and I feel like that is why Somany good things happen to me because
I do make sure that I put effort andthe time to work on that relationship
That I have with my spirituality
BLANCHE (05:03):
I agree with that.
So what
are
some practical steps individuals cantake to initiate their own journey
of self healing and self love?
MARIA (05:11):
a lot of self awareness would be my main one.
it sounds super cliche, superrepetitive, but feeling in order
to heal, is extremely important.
Because I do really believe that theonly way out is through only by feeling
your emotions You're gonna be ableto understand your emotions know why
they're there and As a consequence ofknowing why they're there also letting
(05:32):
them go and I feel like that is the mainreason why it's so important to feel
them because only by feeling them youunderstand them and once you understand
them it's easier to let them go.
I feel like a lot of times we seek closurefrom people, but in reality what we
should seek closure from is our feelingsand the way that we're feeling that
way and we waste so much time seekingclosure from another person, where In
reality, we should be seeking closurefrom our emotions and our feelings.
(05:54):
And I don't think that we do that enough.
So I think that once you starttrying to understand why you're
feeling what you're feeling, that'sthe only way that you're going to
feel better and that's how you start
healing.
BLANCHE (06:03):
I agree.
I think a lot of people
miss the step
of the relationship to self,
because
you can't have any otherrelationships that are of value.
if you don't understand yourself and youdon't have that relationship with self
and the self awareness is one of
them but the why you do things
the trigger because a
lot of times people are reacting
but they don't understandwhat the starter point was
(06:23):
right
MARIA (06:23):
something that it's super important to understand because i love talking
about psychology on my podcast andthe reason why because for me Someone
telling me to feel to heal it sounds verycliche and it's pretty hard for me to
understand the why so i always like tosay the why behind things and the reason
why it's so important to have a goodrelationship with yourself is because
our brain agrees with us it doesn't argueagainst us it agrees with us so whatever
(06:45):
you tell your brain to be true it willreflect to you on your life so if you're
constantly telling yourself that you'renot worthy that you deserve, all of the
pain that you're feeling, that you'rehurt, that you're heartbroken, it will
continue to reflect those things in yourlife because it's agreeing with you.
it's not arguing against you.
So if you're constantly telling yourselfthat you're heartbroken, your brain
will continue to put you in situationsthat make you even more heartbroken.
(07:06):
So having a good relationship withyourself means having good communication
and positive communication withyourself so that the universe or
your brain can reflect good things
to you.
BLANCHE (07:15):
when you start telling yourself certain stories,
your
body starts
reacting to that information,
good or
bad.
So that's how people createsickness in their body sometimes,
because they're creating a negativeenergy that keeps growing, and growing,
And it goes outward.
So when you create positive within yourthought process, And in your body, then
it goes out in your energetic field.
(07:35):
And then also it attracts other things
that are of like vibration.
in your opinion,
what are
some common obstacles people facewhen trying to cultivate self
love and how can they overcome it?
MARIA (07:46):
I think they base their relationship with themselves, with
Situations that they've gone throughlike if something doesn't work out
with someone It's probably becauseof me if a job doesn't work out.
It's probably because of me if Don'tknow my parents were hard on me when
I was little it's probably becauseof me and so we constantly blame
ourselves for the things that we wentthrough when in reality If something
doesn't work out, it's becausethere's something better out there.
(08:06):
If something doesn't work out,it's because we deserve better.
But that is a beliefthat has to start within.
nobody can really convince youthat everything is happening
for you and not to you.
Nobody can convince you that there issomething better for you out there.
Like, you have to believe thatyourself, and I feel like the reason
why we struggle so much to have a goodrelationship with ourselves is because
we struggle to believe that there issomething better out there for us.
(08:27):
And I think that it is because it requirestrusting and there is no proof to trust.
You know what I mean?
And we are very logical beings.
Like our brain is constantlytrying to solve problems.
And when there's a problem, we don'thave a solution to, it's really hard
to believe that there is actually asolution and that is what trusting means.
having to believe that there'sa solution, even if we don't
know how it's going to happen.
and so I feel like that's why westruggle so much to love ourselves,
(08:50):
but . If you don't love yourself,then you're never gonna receive
all of the things that you want.
You know what I mean?
BLANCHE (08:55):
I agree with that, And I also think that, Things
have divine timing too.
. and so
sometimes we're very limited.
we always put the end resultlike the options of only
what we are
limited to see.
So we'll say there'sonly three options here.
There's only three outcomes.
And so all those three may depress us,
not realizing that there are sixother that we never thought about.
(09:16):
And so we
have to allow that opening
for things that
we have no idea about,
MARIA (09:21):
For sure.
And I think that we're really hardon ourselves when things don't work
out instead of celebrating them.
And I think that once you startcelebrating them, you start vibrating
in a whole nother frequency.
that starts attracting even more thingsto celebrate like I always talk about
relationships because it's like themain topic that we talk about on my
podcast and a lot of people that aregoing through breakups or got ghosted or
are going through situationships listento me because they're kind of looking
(09:44):
for that safe space after heartbreaksuffer so much when something doesn't
work out and it's always like, thisperson ghosted me because I'm not worth
it, this person ghosted me becauseI'm going through pain, and I made
this video a couple of days ago of ifsomeone ghosted you, congratulations.
start celebrating things not workingout, because that just means that
you're just one step closer to findingwhat is actually going to work out.
and again, once you start celebratingthe things that are happening to you,
(10:07):
regardless if they're good or bad,you completely change your frequency.
And then you're gonna start attractingthings to actually have, love and
celebration for.
BLANCHE (10:13):
Well, it's interesting.
I was having this conversation as well
with somebody who got
ghosted
and I
said to her, what
kind of fears does that bring up in you?
did you
really
want
the relationship or a
relationship or was thefear bigger than the want?
And sometimes we
bring into our energy field.
The lessons that
we need to learn at that moment,the things that show us a mirror for
(10:34):
introspection.
So
it has multi facets.
that it's not meantfor you at that moment.
Maybe something better is out there.
They weren't the right thing for you.
But
also Why are you attracting that
vibration,
particularly what is it that you canlearn from that so you can put it to bed
so you can go to the next step?
MARIA (10:51):
and I think that.
We question people a lot instead ofquestioning ourselves as to why are we
allowing it Why are they ghosting me?
Why are they being mean to me?
Why are they being toxic thequestion is Why are you allowing it?
everything that we go through isalways going to take us back to our
self worth and a lesson to work onyourself and a lesson to be better.
It's not a matter of Whyis this person ghosting me?
(11:12):
The real question is, whatfrequency are you vibrating on
that is attracting those type
of relationships?
BLANCHE (11:17):
Oh,
100%.
I remember when I went through acompletely tragic relationship,
in my early 30s, and
it was horrible.
It was like earth
shattering.
And I
end up going to Omega.
to a retreat there.
It's in Rhinebeck, New York.
And I went to like a whole week retreat.
I was like, this is gonnahelp me, you know And it
actually did.
and it was two practitioners.
They were married hosting it.
(11:38):
David and Gail
gershon, I
believe.
And so we're
in
this
group
thing and
we're talking about
what we want out of our life
And our
limitations And I
remember sitting there going.
why
can't I
get
the love that
I keep giving out?
And he said
to
me, the
question is,
why are you not givingthat love to yourself?
And at the
time I was
like,
what is he
talking about?
Like, of course I love myself.
(11:58):
But the
truth
is is that if I loved myself, Iwouldn't accept that behavior.
it's very
interesting, the layers.
so could
you share some empowering practicesor affirmations that have personally
helped you on your journey
towards self love
MARIA (12:11):
love and I think it all goes back to gratitude.
never been a journalinggirl, affirmations girl.
I journal every single morning.
It's just 10 reasons why I'm grateful for.
And I've been doing that for thepast, I want to say six years, every
single morning changes your lifeand everybody should try it out.
But I've never been someonethat meditates every single day,
affirmations every single day.
I just always recommend and almost turn itinto like a, Non negotiable is gratitude.
(12:36):
Like start being grateful for everysingle thing regardless if it's hard and
regardless if you're not actually gratefulfor it because it is just training your
brain to eventually feel grateful foreverything for everything that works out
and for everything that doesn't becausegratitude is the highest frequency that
you can be vibrating on and the only
frequency that you're going to be ableto attract everything that you want
so always always always be grateful.
(12:57):
However it looks for you.
Sometimes it's not even about theword thank you, but it is about the
feeling of feeling grateful for thepeople that you have around you,
feeling grateful for the things,feeling grateful for the opportunities,
feeling grateful for your job, yourfood, your family, your everything.
And we focus so much on what wedon't have, this person left.
I don't have love.
I don't have relationships.
I don't have friends.
And you forget abouteverything that you do have.
(13:17):
And sometimes that's the blockagethat's between who you are and what
you want is focusing on what you don'thave instead of what you do and feeling
grateful and appreciating what you
do.
BLANCHE (13:26):
And I will say this, gratitude to
me is
kind
of a little bit like
meditation.
When I started
meditating, I got a lotof intrusive thoughts
and you get
sidebarred with them.
Like you're just like,
Oh my God, your
mind goes on a
tangent.
And then the
more and more that you work on it,you realize that those thoughts
aren't going to not happen.
They're going to come in, but you
notice them, see
(13:46):
them,
and then just let them go.
And it's the
same thing
with
gratitude.
you're not always goingto feel a hundred percent.
You're not always going
to
feel like, Oh my God, this is amazing.
It's
okay to acknowledge therealities in your life, but not
sink and soak in them.
And once
you acknowledge them and go,
Hey, this
makes me feel a certain way andlet it work through your body.
Then go, yeah,
but this is what I'm
(14:06):
learning from
this.
This is the gratitude I get
from This This is thesilver lining, right?
Find the silver lining.
I remember
Gabby
Bernstein, She has this thing.
I remember
during 2020 COVID lockdown.
I went through my own tipping point withhaving my daughter and things like that.
And I remember her
saying just
choose a better thought.
than
the one you
had.
That was life
changing for me at that moment.
(14:27):
Cause it was
'easy.
it was an
easy jump.
Sometimes
it's hard to be grateful
For the
lessons
you're
in, but it's very easy in the moment
to
say just pick a better
thought.
So,
where
do you see
yourself
wanting to go?
Like where do you see in the
next couple of years?
what is your
MARIA (14:42):
what is your
vision?
I would love to know, but I think thatI've been practicing presence so much
that for me, it's more about how I wouldlike to feel regardless of where I am.
I read the power of now.
And
BLANCHE (14:54):
Mmm one of
MARIA (14:55):
I
think one of my
Mm-Hmm, . I, I read it every three monthswhenever I feel like I'm kind of losing it
But, for me it's like, I don't evenknow where I'm gonna be tomorrow, but
I know how I want to feel tomorrow.
And I think that I know how I don'twant to feel because I felt it before.
I know that right now I havea lot of peace that I want to
keep regardless of where I am.
Tomorrow next week in a few monthsor in a few years I would love to
(15:19):
Grow my podcast as much as I can andshare my message as much as I can,
but I also know that if TikTok wereto be banned tomorrow and I were to
lose all of my social media tomorrowI wouldn't lose the peace that I have
right now because I don't depend on it.
And so for me it has been more a practiceof Detaching from everything that I
feel like i'm depending on so that
If in a few years it doesn't workout, I'm still going to be okay.
I could say that in a fewyears I want to be married.
(15:41):
I want my podcast to be the number onein the whole world, but if it doesn't
happen, I'm still going to be okay.
we attach so much in the result and we'rejust so, attached on how it has to happen
and when it has to happen, that if itdoesn't happen the way that we want it to
happen, we're just not going to be okay.
And I've been practicing intention withoutattachment a lot, where I know where I
want my podcast to be, but I also knowthat it's gonna happen when it's meant
(16:01):
to happen, and when I am going to beready to appreciate it, which has been
a huge one for me, of things happenwhen you're ready to receive them.
And if they're not happening right now,you're probably not ready for them.
BLANCHE (16:11):
Yeah, no, it's 100%.
I remember
I used to co host a
TV show
and
I
wanted to be in a certain place, a certain
show, do a certain
thing.
But I was doing something that
sucked the energy out of me.
And I remember being my 20s.
I was like,
I just have to keep going,
hustle on the way thereand be miserable on the way
there.
And one
day I
woke up and I was like,
(16:32):
I don't want to be miserable on the way
to something.
I want to be embodying of my
happiness in that moment.
And when I
did
that, I released the outcome.
And it's true, you go in a direction,but you have to release the outcome
because you don't know where it'sgoing to lead, but you do know
how to protect your happinesswithin those moments
MARIA (16:49):
moments as much as The problem with depending your happiness on
the result is that You really don'tknow when you're going to be happy,
because you really don't know when theresult is actually going to happen.
And so sometimes we're okaywith being miserable on the way,
because we're like, okay, once Iget there, I'm going to be happy.
But you really don't know whenyou're going to get there or
how you're going to get there.
And you can be miserable for a few daysor a few months or even a few years.
(17:11):
you decide to be happy now, youreally don't care about the end
result, because at the end of theday, you're going to feel the same.
BLANCHE (17:16):
And you don't know how long that
we're having this
life ride.
You know,
for me, I decided toincarnate here to have this
life.
So why
would I choose to be unhappy and
miserable on my way to somewhere?
I'm human.
So I'm going to havethe experience I have.
and some days are going to
be rougher
than others,
but
decide that this is when you get to
be happy.
This is when you feel fulfilled.
(17:36):
I mean, this was great.
Is there
anything else that you want to
add to this that you would
MARIA (17:40):
that you would like them I don't know.
I always, when I close my episodes,I always just ask people what does
healing mean to them because I'malways super interested and knowing
what healing means to other people.
So I guess if I were to share my answer, Iwould just say that Sometimes we focus so
hard to heal that we forget to experienceand for me what I've learned about healing
is that When you stop healing you actuallystart healing when you stop being so
(18:00):
hard on yourself on feeling 100 betterAnd you actually start experiencing and
going out and being with your friendsand being okay with being sad But then
at the same time experiencing everythingthat life has to offer you actually start
feeling better so People that listen toyour podcast people that listen to my
podcast and people that listen to all ofthese self growth podcasts are ultimately
looking to heal and if I were to share apiece of advice or a message is Just stop
(18:23):
trying so hard to heal because once youstop trying you actually start healing.
BLANCHE (18:27):
hundred percent once you stop being the seeker
Then
you're
much more of the
activator,
the attraction to what you
want because you're not
seeking anything.
You're just
being.
well, it was great
MARIA (18:37):
was
great having you
BLANCHE (18:38):
appreciate it.
MARIA (18:39):
And I'm excited to see where your
journey takes Thank you so much.
I
appreciate that.
BLANCHE (18:43):
All right.
Thanks
everybody for tuning in to the Conscious
Home
podcast
and we'll see you next
time.
MARIA (18:48):
time.
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