October 31, 2025 • 18 mins
For decades, Dean Sikes has been sharing a radical message of hope: God loves you, has a plan for your life, and because you're breathing, you matter.
The conversation dives deep into the urgent teen mental health crisis. Dean shares shocking statistics—including that 22% of high schoolers have considered suicide—and discusses his mission to eradicate hopelessness and prevent teenage suicide.
Dean explains that a person who is "broken until healed becomes a broken adult". He shares insights from his new book, You Matter: Finding Hope and Meaning in Everyday Life, and how to:
1. Find a firm foundation of self-worth and confidence.
2. Break free from a spirit of hopelessness.
3. Connect with God's love and purpose, no matter your past.
This episode is a vital resource for parents, youth leaders, educators, and anyone who feels they are struggling or want to help a young person find their God-given value.
Need Help? If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the US, or visit https://988lifeline.org.
Links & Resources:
Get Dean Sikes' Book: You Matter: Finding Hope and Meaning in Everyday Life:
https://www.amazon.com/You-Matter-Finding-Meaning-Everyday/dp/1964508428
Learn More about Covenant Eyes:
https://cvnteyes.co/4gb6xme
Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to Dean Sikes and the You Matter Ministry
01:44 - New Book: You Matter: Finding Hope and Meaning in Everyday Life
02:36 - Why You Matter: The Answer to the Billion-Dollar Question
03:33 - The Connection Between Hopelessness and Suicide
04:29 - Troubling Teenage Suicide Statistics (22% have considered it)
05:34 - Is the Book Just for Teens? Broken Teens become Broken Adults 06:26 - Talking With Students, Not To Them
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Christine Sykes, it's so goodto have you joining us.
Thank you so much.
For our listeners out therethat are not familiar
with your work,would you mind sharing
just a little bitabout who you are
and what you do?
Yeah, sure.
Well, thanks so muchfor the opportunity.
And since January1st, 1993, decades ago,
I had been on the roadspeaking, in high schools
across America,nations of the world,
(00:26):
sharing what we call ouryou matter message of hope.
The message.
It says that God loves you.
He's got a plan for your lifebecause you're breathing.
You matter.
I've spoken it over 4300 eventsin eight countries.
Written 33 books.
We have in the last 25 monthsthat 161 million views.
Our videos on social.
We're just so very gratefulfor what the Lord does.
(00:47):
Well, kind of whatmaybe separates it
a little bit from othersout there.
We never charge anyone anything.
I never have, never will.
We just believethis is a message
that needs to be heard,and we want to give it
to as many people as we can.
Married? Three kids.
I call them kids.
They're all adultswith their families.
A couple of dogs.
And just, we do about 180events a year.
So when I'm noton the road, I'm.
I'm spending time with family.
(01:07):
And thatthat's just kind of the,
the lifeblood of our ministryis just out there sharing this
message of hope.
That is awesome.
And what a busy guy you are.
Oh, my goodness,that is a lot of travel.
Yeah, it's it's he does a lot.
It is for sure.
But the messagethat you're bringing
is so important.
And the conversationsthat you're having
really are topicsthat we need to talk about.
(01:29):
So you've got a new bookthat's coming out.
I want to talka little bit about that
because it really,speaks to an issue that we see
at the forefront of societyright now.
So talk to our listenersa little bit about the new book
and the message behind it.
Sure.
That the book is entitledYou Matter Finding Hope
and Meaning in EverydayLife. It's on Amazon now.
(01:50):
When it back when it launched,it was number
one in its categoriesfor for a while.
And we're so very gratefulfor that.
It's it's a it's a bookthat is the heartbeat of,
of our ministry.
When I wrote it, the Lord'sdropped in my heart.
This is the legacybook of your ministry.
And so our message isyou matter.
In the book,which is it's a short
the 104 pages long.
(02:10):
People can read itpretty quickly.
I talk aboutI share my testimony,
and we can get to much of thatif you want to, but I share
the message that you do matter.
But the overwhelmingmajority of the book
focuses on why you matter.
The what I do in lifeis not get me out of bed
most mornings.
The why I doit catapults me. And so,
(02:31):
I would have studentsliterally kind of go,
you don't know me,you don't know anything
I've done.
You don't know my past.
And yet you with this update,to say that I matter
with such competence,how do you know that I matter?
And I just kept hearingthat over and over.
Not just sincethe real directive
to go answer that question.
And it's found in 16words in the verse,
joke 33, verse four,and it says, The Spirit of God
(02:52):
made you and the breathof the Almighty gives you life.
And so I smile.
Now I'mgoing to ask this question
every single day.
Why do I matter?
Two wordresponse is always the same
you're breathing.
That's why you matter.
God's never made a mistake.
He didn't make you go, oops.
Jesus took what I just did.
No.
He created you on purpose,with purpose
and for purpose. And he.
He's had a planfor your life. And he.
(03:13):
And he loves you.
And no matter what you've done,you cannot cancel that love.
And so when people beginto understand
that they do matterand why they matter.
Hopelessness gives birthto hope, and hope gives faith
something to hang on to.
So show me a personwho's hopeless.
The word is very clearwith a vision,
without with a vision.
Without it, peopleperish with one.
(03:35):
You can change societyas we know it.
That's right.
But vision loss peopleare not bad people.
They're just they justbasically have given up
because they've been hurton this journey.
We know is life.
And when a person gets hopeless,they move towards
something called suicide.
And every day in America,5600 teenagers
attempt to end their life.
That probably doesn't register.
So let me offer a visualto everyone who's
(03:56):
watching or listening.
In an arena that seats12,000 people,
that arena would fill upevery two and a half days
with teenagers who,in the previous
60 hours bought the liethat their life did not matter.
And so we're on thisunimaginable journey
that God has put us onto help eradicate
hopelessness and endteenage suicide through our
You Matter campaign,which is in high schools
(04:18):
and lives online.
After hearing our message,we know that 156,000 suicides
have been stopped thus far,and we're so grateful for that.
But man, there's there'sso much work to be done.
It's not even funny.
Oh my goodness.
You know,it's it's really troubling
to to hear youryour team provided us some stats
and I want to share thosewith our listeners
because I think reallyI don't think we
(04:40):
grasp how deep and broadthis problem really is
among our high schoolers.
But 22% of high schoolershave considered
suicide, 18% made a plan,and 10% attempted it.
Yeah, I'm just as a mom.
I'm just I'm heartbrokenby that.
And the work that we dohere at covenant is, you know,
we tend to be on thethe preventative side of getting
(05:02):
you know, people looped intothe darkness of pornography
and all these things.
And in society, I think we talka lot about,
you know, how do we,you know, prevent and stop.
But how do we meet peoplewhere they are?
The like your book seemsto be speaking to the teens
where they are and meeting themwhere they are and answering
those real deep questionsthat they have.
(05:23):
To help themknow that they are wanted,
they are loved and they matter.
So talk to me a little bitabout how the book
and it was writtenfor the teens.
Is that correct,or is it a book for all?
Okay.
It's a really it'sa book for anyone.
Because what happensis broken teenagers until healed
become broken adults. Yeah.
And brokennessattracts brokenness.
And when two become one place,they recreate that brokenness
(05:45):
or generational curses.
So to the to adultslistening or watching today
who got married?
That's I I'm struggling.
This book will helpbecause I don't give you
I don't pretend toknow all the answers,
but I should knowwhere to find them.
And you know,God's never failed.
And so what makesour effectiveness
as high as it is with youngpeople is I walk in, I never try
(06:05):
to be a teenager.
I never tryto look like a teenager.
I walk in dresshow I always talk and I've got a
bottle of water listeningunder the microphone
on this hand, I never,I that never ever used a speech
in a high school ever.
It wouldn't work.
And I tell them,if I could talk you
into something today,somebody a whole lot
better than me, it talkyou out of it tomorrow.
So I'm just goingto share the truth with you
as I see it.
And here'sthe cool thing about truth
the truth is always true.
(06:25):
So you do with it what you want.
Your spirit.
Your heart willresonate towards truth.
You will reject what's not true.
Well, I never talk to students.
I instead talk with them.
I invite them intoa conversation.
If you were at evenour assemblies,
you'll find me in the stateand off the stage
and in the stands.
I go sit with him and talk.
You got, you know,1500, 2000 kids watching or
(06:47):
15,000 in the arena or 300in a small public school
somewhere.
I want to get to where they areand just share with you
you're not alone, thatno matter what
you're going through,you can make it.
Don't don't dare quit.
And here's the here'sthe billion dollar question
I ask.
What does the enemy of your soulknow about your life
and the potentialthat God's given you?
That he's trying so hardto eradicate you from this thing
called Earth?
What does he know thatmaybe you haven't
(07:09):
clued into yet?
Bigger?
Well, I said, what do you wantto do with your life?
They go, I don't seeanybody doing what I want to do.
Well, here'sradical thought number two.
Maybe you don't see anybodydoing what you want to do,
because we're allwaiting on you to go do it.
And the light bulb goes off.
They're like, oh, man.
And so, you know, if you can geta young person
over that in any personto keep the vision
in front of them.
(07:29):
I mean, people go,you wake up with
this much energy,this happy ever. Yeah.
But there's suchvision in front of us.
I mean, people are dyingand going straight to hell.
We got a job to do. Yeah.
I'm sorryI get a little excited.
No, I love it, I love it.
So when you're out touring,are you speaking
in public schools?
Christian schools,all the likes.
Okay, all of the above.
Anywhere there's teenage.
That's a. 70.
(07:50):
Over 70% of our outreachis in public high schools.
That's amazing.
I love that you'regetting in the door
with this messageof hope and vision.
Because honestly,I think that's the key
right there.
And, you know,as you think about
and you talk to teenagers,you know, often we like to point
fingers that,you know, technology
and we like to pointfingers at culture
and all the things.
(08:12):
But at the end of the day,I think you really hit
on something that was key,that really that loss of vision
and hope is what'sdragging our teens
down into thesepits of feeling alone
and isolatedand and leading them
towards things like suicide,consideration.
So talk to us a little bitabout like when you're
meeting with teenagersand they're talking with you
(08:33):
and interacting with you,what are some of the things that
that themesmaybe that come forward
that are really impactingthe teens nowadays?
Yeah, social mediais the top of that list
every time. Yeah.
You know, we'veI shared with you early,
we've had 161 million viewsthat notices the views
I don't count likes.
I count views.
And here's why.
This is what I sharewith students.
If you're still countingyour likes, you have no idea
(08:54):
how much you're loved.
Yeah, right.
If somebody likes me todaythat I'm on Facebook,
I've got so many friends,they don't.
I don't know these people.
I'm thankful they're watching,but we're not friends.
Yeah.
My wife says to me, she says,here's how you know,
if you got a true friend,do you know their middle name?
Well, that cuts my listway down, right?
Yeah.
So the average teenagerwill spend on average,
(09:15):
nine hours every day onhis or her device.
Now, parents, let thatsink in nine.
How much time do you spendtalking to your parents today?
How many how many hoursdo you spend with your kids
on a daily basis?
Did you spend nine hoursin a month?
That would be a standard.
Yeah.
Much less nine hours in a day.
And so I grab my phonethe other day
and I just started,I went to TikTok,
I started scrolling.
(09:36):
48 minutes laterI looked up and I thought
were those 48 minutes ago.
It's addictive.
It is.
And againI don't I'm not get social.
We use it every day.
But here's the reality.
All things were createdby God and for us a God
created social mediafor his, for his good.
The enemy always doeswhat the enemy does.
He takes it and twist it.
Meaning I can grab my phoneright now, as could anyone else,
(09:56):
and in a few minutesI can hit a button
and I'll be talkinglive to a lot of people.
Yeah, I can alsoclose that button and I could go
anywhere on anywhereI wanted to go on my phone.
Yeah, any I can look at,anything I want.
Look, that's whyaccountability is so important.
There are people in my lifethat in any minute
could walk into mywherever I am, say,
give me your phone.
I would hand it to them,they would have my passwords.
They could look at anythingthey wanted to see.
Like like anysearch history, anything.
(10:17):
Why? Because if you.
My theory is this.
I can't haveany authority in my life
unless I'm under authority.
Yeah. So.
So when students go through lifeand they don't have
any authority in their life,they don't have somebody
checking in on them.
And parents say to me, well,I don't know what to say
to my kids.
We have nothing in common.
Well, you gave birth to them.
Find something in common.
Ask them questions. Yeah.
(10:38):
How was your day? Fine.
What made it fine?
What was your high today?
What was your low today?
Who you hanging out with?
How?
What are your grades like?
What are you doing this weekend?
What would you like to do?
Let's go for a walkand leave our phones.
Here's how it did.
We were in trouble when ourkids were in high school.
I'd come in from a trip I wasdownstairs in our family room
texting with my son,who was upstairs in his bedroom.
Then I knew, okay, I'mgoing to change that.
(11:00):
And we did.
So well, oh my goodness.
I think we've all hadthose circumstances
where we texting our kidsin the house.
It's Yeah, yeah,it's definitely something.
But I think what you werereally getting at is by
as parents like certainlyour, our teens,
while they might outwardlysay like, oh, you're not cool
(11:22):
and I don't really need you,they desperately need us
and they want us.
And they also needthat accountability
and that guidance.
And even if you don't knowwhat to say, sometimes it's okay
just to be honest,be like, you know, I don't know,
I don't reallyhave anything to ask you, but
like, let's just goplay pickleball.
Let's go play basketball.
Like just come upwith something like,
we have to make every effort,because social media,
(11:45):
you're right.
Like that isn't absorbent.
I mean, most of usdon't even work
that long in a day, let alonespend that
much time on social media.
That is definitely shapingworldviews.
It's shapinghow they see themselves.
There's so muchcomparison online.
We we have to counterthat as parents.
So talk to us a little bit moreabout the book and the hopes
(12:06):
that you have with the book,and how maybe a parent
could use the book,maybe as a Bible study
or somethingthat you do in the house,
or just know just how it can bepractically applied.
What's happening iswe have the book
on the road with us,and I'm seeing
lots of people buymultiple copies
because they want to give it.
And they want to starttalking about it.
And whenwhen people get the book,
what happens isit gives them something
(12:29):
to refer back to that.
It's not necessarily themhaving a conversation.
There's like, hey,I heard this guy,
and I got this book for us.
And again, it's short by design.
I mean, my audienceis not going to spend my on
it will not spenddays reading books.
They'll spend a few minutes hereand there.
And the responseswe're getting back from students
who are readingit are very encouraging,
because that's what the kind ofwe was going to happen.
(12:50):
So the book really, you know,I share my story and the short
version of that is I becamea Christian at seven, was raised
in a Christian home.
At 15 years old, though,I was sexually abused
and my world was rockedand I made it.
Vow I'll never tell anybodywhat happened to me.
I failed P.E.
two years later.
Even I played quarterbacktennis, play and play golf.
I'm very athletic.
I wasn't going tochange clothes.
You find anyone 17 and 18.
(13:12):
My drug of choice was lying.
I lied morethan I ever told the truth
that you had to catch metelling the truth.
I lied so much.
A lot of the lie.
Second greatest commandment.
The Bible is what?
Love your neighbor as yourself.
I didn't love me.
There's no way I'm going tobe able to love you.
I can't teach whatI've not been taught.
I can't give it.
I've not been given.
And so I just.
I've created this fantasy worldbecause everybody bought it.
Cause I was a pretty goodcommunicator, is
(13:33):
pretty at a young person.
And they were like, well, yeah,he lives a great life.
And I was, I was so insecureit wasn't even funny.
At 21.
I was so tired.
I've been playingthis game for it since I was 15.
And I saida very simple prayer, God,
if you're real, prove it.
I don't think you are.
I'm in church every timethe doors were open,
but I would notknow you from Adam.
People go to me, I gowhere I see whatever.
You're a Christian.
They go, I go to church.
(13:54):
That's wonderful.
My car goes to church.
It's not a Christian, right?
This is a relationship,not a religion.
Well, at 21, I said that prayer.
And two weeks laterI was sitting in my office
downing a phone, and I heard theaudible voice of God
in my office, and he said on.
I swung around in my chairto see who was there.
I saw no onebut the hair on the back
to my ear. New call mom.
And when I did,my mother was attempting suicide
(14:17):
and I got her to a hospitaland God saved her life.
And a doctorlooked at my dad and said,
I didn't save her.
This is a miracle of God.
I heard that doctor say, miracleGod, I knew, okay,
something's changingand I can take you
to this spot in Park RidgeHospital
in Chattanooga, Tennessee,where I leaned
against this long run,this corridor,
and I had an encounterwith Jesus.
And from the top of my headto the soles of my feet
(14:37):
at the woman's oillike substance, hit me.
I didn't hear any more voice,but I heard in my heart
I've called you like,what does that mean?
He goes, you're going to comework with me?
I said, no, no,I'm going into politics.
But thank you.
I'm not gonna do that.
But surely Malachi teaches usI am the Lord, I change it not.
He ain't going tochange his mind.
So I.
I finally surrenderedabout three years later
(14:58):
and was working full timeministry and a habit.
I haven't had a jobsince I was 26 years old.
I get to do this.
I mean, this is just I love it.
So that's in the book.
It's it'smuch more impact than that.
But the book really centersupon those 16 words,
and Joe 33 for that.
That's why I wrote it.
And had I going to heavenyesterday, this book,
this legacy book, willI will continue to
just get the message outand make sure that people know,
(15:21):
because when a personreally grasp
the truth, that they matterand they then understand
why they matter,then nothing is impossible
to those who believe.
Because now you knowyou have the creator
of the universeon the inside of you.
Right? Oh, I love that.
Oh my gosh,thank you for sharing
also your story.
And I know that in the bookyou go into more detail.
So I appreciateyou sharing that though,
(15:41):
because it gives context to whatled you to the place
where you are today.
And it's amazinghow God just uses us.
And sometimes he calls uswhen we don't
necessarily respond right away.
But he never gives up.
He pursues uswith all vigor and passion
until we submit.
And you know, it's amazing.
And because of that,your ministry is reaching
(16:02):
so many peopleand so many teens.
So if a parent is listeningto today's show
and they want to gettheir hands on the book,
and they want to learnmore about your ministry,
where can they go? Yeah.
Let me give you a couple ideas.
One is you matter us.
While you might us.
That's our home.
That's everything you matter.
There's a brand new linkon that page
(16:22):
just at the top of thatsays struggling
with a question mark.
Click that.
And we've gone through extremeamount of work to
if you're dealingwith suicidal thoughts,
if you've lostsomeone to suicide,
if you're struggling today,there's video content there.
There's questions.
I mean, there'sso much content there
for the book itself.
You can order it on Amazonjust or simply just search.
You matter. Dean.
(16:43):
You matter.
Dean Sykes or you can go toyou matter.
Book us and get your copy there.
So, you know that thing thatwhen you were sitting alone,
tenants popped into my heartthat I shared with people a lot,
and that is justmaybe a little encourage
to some of your listeners todaythe the obstacle
that you overcome in life,the real serious obstacle
will oftentimesbecome your platform.
(17:04):
Yeah, I felt hopelessness.
I felt like I felt likeI didn't matter.
I thought suicide with my mom.
And now today,all of these decades later,
are home messages.
You matter.
God did not need your helpgetting into this
life, and conversely,he does not need your help
getting out of it.
When it's your time to go,he'll go.
And with regardsto your calling,
whatever you're called, you knowwe're on, which is very clear.
The gifts and calling of Godare irrevocable.
(17:25):
What you're called to dois never going to change.
If we choose to accept that,that's great.
If not, welcome to a lifeof frustration
because you're not going tochange the heart of God.
That is greatand that is beautiful.
And I think that really speaksto our audience.
So it's going to bevery inspirational.
Well, it has beena real pleasure.
I know that you have a wealthof knowledge and wisdom,
(17:45):
and I'm going to encourageall of our listeners
to get their hands on this book.
It seems likean amazing resource for parents,
ministry leaders, youth leaders,and potentially for just
the rest of us out therethat just need
a little bit of hopeand encouragement.
Maybe we need to hear thatwe are loved and that there
is a plan for us.
And I, I'm just so gratefulfor your time today to talk
(18:07):
and share with the the audienceabout your book
and your ministry.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You're an easyperson to talk with.
You can tell you do this a lot.
Well, thank you so much.
And thank youto all of our listeners
for tuning in to this episodeof the Covenant Eyes podcast.
We'll see you next time.
Christine Sykes, it's so goodto have you joining us.
Thank you so much.
For our listeners out therethat are not familiar
with your work,would you mind sharing
just a little bitabout who you are
and what you do?
Yeah, sure.
Well, thanks so muchfor the opportunity.
And since January1st, 1993, decades ago,
I had been on the roadspeaking, in high schools
across America,nations of the world,
(00:26):
sharing what we call ouryou matter message of hope.
The message.
It says that God loves you.
He's got a plan for your lifebecause you're breathing.
You matter.
I've spoken it over 4300 eventsin eight countries.
Written 33 books.
We have in the last 25 monthsthat 161 million views.
Our videos on social.
We're just so very gratefulfor what the Lord does.
(00:47):
Well, kind of whatmaybe separates it
a little bit from othersout there.
We never charge anyone anything.
I never have, never will.
We just believethis is a message
that needs to be heard,and we want to give it
to as many people as we can.
Married? Three kids.
I call them kids.
They're all adultswith their families.
A couple of dogs.
And just, we do about 180events a year.
So when I'm noton the road, I'm.
I'm spending time with family.
(01:07):
And thatthat's just kind of the,
the lifeblood of our ministryis just out there sharing this
message of hope.
That is awesome.
And what a busy guy you are.
Oh, my goodness,that is a lot of travel.
Yeah, it's it's he does a lot.
It is for sure.
But the messagethat you're bringing
is so important.
And the conversationsthat you're having
really are topicsthat we need to talk about.
(01:29):
So you've got a new bookthat's coming out.
I want to talka little bit about that
because it really,speaks to an issue that we see
at the forefront of societyright now.
So talk to our listenersa little bit about the new book
and the message behind it.
Sure.
That the book is entitledYou Matter Finding Hope
and Meaning in EverydayLife. It's on Amazon now.
(01:50):
When it back when it launched,it was number
one in its categoriesfor for a while.
And we're so very gratefulfor that.
It's it's a it's a bookthat is the heartbeat of,
of our ministry.
When I wrote it, the Lord'sdropped in my heart.
This is the legacybook of your ministry.
And so our message isyou matter.
In the book,which is it's a short
the 104 pages long.
(02:10):
People can read itpretty quickly.
I talk aboutI share my testimony,
and we can get to much of thatif you want to, but I share
the message that you do matter.
But the overwhelmingmajority of the book
focuses on why you matter.
The what I do in lifeis not get me out of bed
most mornings.
The why I doit catapults me. And so,
(02:31):
I would have studentsliterally kind of go,
you don't know me,you don't know anything
I've done.
You don't know my past.
And yet you with this update,to say that I matter
with such competence,how do you know that I matter?
And I just kept hearingthat over and over.
Not just sincethe real directive
to go answer that question.
And it's found in 16words in the verse,
joke 33, verse four,and it says, The Spirit of God
(02:52):
made you and the breathof the Almighty gives you life.
And so I smile.
Now I'mgoing to ask this question
every single day.
Why do I matter?
Two wordresponse is always the same
you're breathing.
That's why you matter.
God's never made a mistake.
He didn't make you go, oops.
Jesus took what I just did.
No.
He created you on purpose,with purpose
and for purpose. And he.
He's had a planfor your life. And he.
(03:13):
And he loves you.
And no matter what you've done,you cannot cancel that love.
And so when people beginto understand
that they do matterand why they matter.
Hopelessness gives birthto hope, and hope gives faith
something to hang on to.
So show me a personwho's hopeless.
The word is very clearwith a vision,
without with a vision.
Without it, peopleperish with one.
(03:35):
You can change societyas we know it.
That's right.
But vision loss peopleare not bad people.
They're just they justbasically have given up
because they've been hurton this journey.
We know is life.
And when a person gets hopeless,they move towards
something called suicide.
And every day in America,5600 teenagers
attempt to end their life.
That probably doesn't register.
So let me offer a visualto everyone who's
(03:56):
watching or listening.
In an arena that seats12,000 people,
that arena would fill upevery two and a half days
with teenagers who,in the previous
60 hours bought the liethat their life did not matter.
And so we're on thisunimaginable journey
that God has put us onto help eradicate
hopelessness and endteenage suicide through our
You Matter campaign,which is in high schools
(04:18):
and lives online.
After hearing our message,we know that 156,000 suicides
have been stopped thus far,and we're so grateful for that.
But man, there's there'sso much work to be done.
It's not even funny.
Oh my goodness.
You know,it's it's really troubling
to to hear youryour team provided us some stats
and I want to share thosewith our listeners
because I think reallyI don't think we
(04:40):
grasp how deep and broadthis problem really is
among our high schoolers.
But 22% of high schoolershave considered
suicide, 18% made a plan,and 10% attempted it.
Yeah, I'm just as a mom.
I'm just I'm heartbrokenby that.
And the work that we dohere at covenant is, you know,
we tend to be on thethe preventative side of getting
(05:02):
you know, people looped intothe darkness of pornography
and all these things.
And in society, I think we talka lot about,
you know, how do we,you know, prevent and stop.
But how do we meet peoplewhere they are?
The like your book seemsto be speaking to the teens
where they are and meeting themwhere they are and answering
those real deep questionsthat they have.
(05:23):
To help themknow that they are wanted,
they are loved and they matter.
So talk to me a little bitabout how the book
and it was writtenfor the teens.
Is that correct,or is it a book for all?
Okay.
It's a really it'sa book for anyone.
Because what happensis broken teenagers until healed
become broken adults. Yeah.
And brokennessattracts brokenness.
And when two become one place,they recreate that brokenness
(05:45):
or generational curses.
So to the to adultslistening or watching today
who got married?
That's I I'm struggling.
This book will helpbecause I don't give you
I don't pretend toknow all the answers,
but I should knowwhere to find them.
And you know,God's never failed.
And so what makesour effectiveness
as high as it is with youngpeople is I walk in, I never try
(06:05):
to be a teenager.
I never tryto look like a teenager.
I walk in dresshow I always talk and I've got a
bottle of water listeningunder the microphone
on this hand, I never,I that never ever used a speech
in a high school ever.
It wouldn't work.
And I tell them,if I could talk you
into something today,somebody a whole lot
better than me, it talkyou out of it tomorrow.
So I'm just goingto share the truth with you
as I see it.
And here'sthe cool thing about truth
the truth is always true.
(06:25):
So you do with it what you want.
Your spirit.
Your heart willresonate towards truth.
You will reject what's not true.
Well, I never talk to students.
I instead talk with them.
I invite them intoa conversation.
If you were at evenour assemblies,
you'll find me in the stateand off the stage
and in the stands.
I go sit with him and talk.
You got, you know,1500, 2000 kids watching or
(06:47):
15,000 in the arena or 300in a small public school
somewhere.
I want to get to where they areand just share with you
you're not alone, thatno matter what
you're going through,you can make it.
Don't don't dare quit.
And here's the here'sthe billion dollar question
I ask.
What does the enemy of your soulknow about your life
and the potentialthat God's given you?
That he's trying so hardto eradicate you from this thing
called Earth?
What does he know thatmaybe you haven't
(07:09):
clued into yet?
Bigger?
Well, I said, what do you wantto do with your life?
They go, I don't seeanybody doing what I want to do.
Well, here'sradical thought number two.
Maybe you don't see anybodydoing what you want to do,
because we're allwaiting on you to go do it.
And the light bulb goes off.
They're like, oh, man.
And so, you know, if you can geta young person
over that in any personto keep the vision
in front of them.
(07:29):
I mean, people go,you wake up with
this much energy,this happy ever. Yeah.
But there's suchvision in front of us.
I mean, people are dyingand going straight to hell.
We got a job to do. Yeah.
I'm sorryI get a little excited.
No, I love it, I love it.
So when you're out touring,are you speaking
in public schools?
Christian schools,all the likes.
Okay, all of the above.
Anywhere there's teenage.
That's a. 70.
(07:50):
Over 70% of our outreachis in public high schools.
That's amazing.
I love that you'regetting in the door
with this messageof hope and vision.
Because honestly,I think that's the key
right there.
And, you know,as you think about
and you talk to teenagers,you know, often we like to point
fingers that,you know, technology
and we like to pointfingers at culture
and all the things.
(08:12):
But at the end of the day,I think you really hit
on something that was key,that really that loss of vision
and hope is what'sdragging our teens
down into thesepits of feeling alone
and isolatedand and leading them
towards things like suicide,consideration.
So talk to us a little bitabout like when you're
meeting with teenagersand they're talking with you
(08:33):
and interacting with you,what are some of the things that
that themesmaybe that come forward
that are really impactingthe teens nowadays?
Yeah, social mediais the top of that list
every time. Yeah.
You know, we'veI shared with you early,
we've had 161 million viewsthat notices the views
I don't count likes.
I count views.
And here's why.
This is what I sharewith students.
If you're still countingyour likes, you have no idea
(08:54):
how much you're loved.
Yeah, right.
If somebody likes me todaythat I'm on Facebook,
I've got so many friends,they don't.
I don't know these people.
I'm thankful they're watching,but we're not friends.
Yeah.
My wife says to me, she says,here's how you know,
if you got a true friend,do you know their middle name?
Well, that cuts my listway down, right?
Yeah.
So the average teenagerwill spend on average,
(09:15):
nine hours every day onhis or her device.
Now, parents, let thatsink in nine.
How much time do you spendtalking to your parents today?
How many how many hoursdo you spend with your kids
on a daily basis?
Did you spend nine hoursin a month?
That would be a standard.
Yeah.
Much less nine hours in a day.
And so I grab my phonethe other day
and I just started,I went to TikTok,
I started scrolling.
(09:36):
48 minutes laterI looked up and I thought
were those 48 minutes ago.
It's addictive.
It is.
And againI don't I'm not get social.
We use it every day.
But here's the reality.
All things were createdby God and for us a God
created social mediafor his, for his good.
The enemy always doeswhat the enemy does.
He takes it and twist it.
Meaning I can grab my phoneright now, as could anyone else,
(09:56):
and in a few minutesI can hit a button
and I'll be talkinglive to a lot of people.
Yeah, I can alsoclose that button and I could go
anywhere on anywhereI wanted to go on my phone.
Yeah, any I can look at,anything I want.
Look, that's whyaccountability is so important.
There are people in my lifethat in any minute
could walk into mywherever I am, say,
give me your phone.
I would hand it to them,they would have my passwords.
They could look at anythingthey wanted to see.
Like like anysearch history, anything.
(10:17):
Why? Because if you.
My theory is this.
I can't haveany authority in my life
unless I'm under authority.
Yeah. So.
So when students go through lifeand they don't have
any authority in their life,they don't have somebody
checking in on them.
And parents say to me, well,I don't know what to say
to my kids.
We have nothing in common.
Well, you gave birth to them.
Find something in common.
Ask them questions. Yeah.
(10:38):
How was your day? Fine.
What made it fine?
What was your high today?
What was your low today?
Who you hanging out with?
How?
What are your grades like?
What are you doing this weekend?
What would you like to do?
Let's go for a walkand leave our phones.
Here's how it did.
We were in trouble when ourkids were in high school.
I'd come in from a trip I wasdownstairs in our family room
texting with my son,who was upstairs in his bedroom.
Then I knew, okay, I'mgoing to change that.
(11:00):
And we did.
So well, oh my goodness.
I think we've all hadthose circumstances
where we texting our kidsin the house.
It's Yeah, yeah,it's definitely something.
But I think what you werereally getting at is by
as parents like certainlyour, our teens,
while they might outwardlysay like, oh, you're not cool
(11:22):
and I don't really need you,they desperately need us
and they want us.
And they also needthat accountability
and that guidance.
And even if you don't knowwhat to say, sometimes it's okay
just to be honest,be like, you know, I don't know,
I don't reallyhave anything to ask you, but
like, let's just goplay pickleball.
Let's go play basketball.
Like just come upwith something like,
we have to make every effort,because social media,
(11:45):
you're right.
Like that isn't absorbent.
I mean, most of usdon't even work
that long in a day, let alonespend that
much time on social media.
That is definitely shapingworldviews.
It's shapinghow they see themselves.
There's so muchcomparison online.
We we have to counterthat as parents.
So talk to us a little bit moreabout the book and the hopes
(12:06):
that you have with the book,and how maybe a parent
could use the book,maybe as a Bible study
or somethingthat you do in the house,
or just know just how it can bepractically applied.
What's happening iswe have the book
on the road with us,and I'm seeing
lots of people buymultiple copies
because they want to give it.
And they want to starttalking about it.
And whenwhen people get the book,
what happens isit gives them something
(12:29):
to refer back to that.
It's not necessarily themhaving a conversation.
There's like, hey,I heard this guy,
and I got this book for us.
And again, it's short by design.
I mean, my audienceis not going to spend my on
it will not spenddays reading books.
They'll spend a few minutes hereand there.
And the responseswe're getting back from students
who are readingit are very encouraging,
because that's what the kind ofwe was going to happen.
(12:50):
So the book really, you know,I share my story and the short
version of that is I becamea Christian at seven, was raised
in a Christian home.
At 15 years old, though,I was sexually abused
and my world was rockedand I made it.
Vow I'll never tell anybodywhat happened to me.
I failed P.E.
two years later.
Even I played quarterbacktennis, play and play golf.
I'm very athletic.
I wasn't going tochange clothes.
You find anyone 17 and 18.
(13:12):
My drug of choice was lying.
I lied morethan I ever told the truth
that you had to catch metelling the truth.
I lied so much.
A lot of the lie.
Second greatest commandment.
The Bible is what?
Love your neighbor as yourself.
I didn't love me.
There's no way I'm going tobe able to love you.
I can't teach whatI've not been taught.
I can't give it.
I've not been given.
And so I just.
I've created this fantasy worldbecause everybody bought it.
Cause I was a pretty goodcommunicator, is
(13:33):
pretty at a young person.
And they were like, well, yeah,he lives a great life.
And I was, I was so insecureit wasn't even funny.
At 21.
I was so tired.
I've been playingthis game for it since I was 15.
And I saida very simple prayer, God,
if you're real, prove it.
I don't think you are.
I'm in church every timethe doors were open,
but I would notknow you from Adam.
People go to me, I gowhere I see whatever.
You're a Christian.
They go, I go to church.
(13:54):
That's wonderful.
My car goes to church.
It's not a Christian, right?
This is a relationship,not a religion.
Well, at 21, I said that prayer.
And two weeks laterI was sitting in my office
downing a phone, and I heard theaudible voice of God
in my office, and he said on.
I swung around in my chairto see who was there.
I saw no onebut the hair on the back
to my ear. New call mom.
And when I did,my mother was attempting suicide
(14:17):
and I got her to a hospitaland God saved her life.
And a doctorlooked at my dad and said,
I didn't save her.
This is a miracle of God.
I heard that doctor say, miracleGod, I knew, okay,
something's changingand I can take you
to this spot in Park RidgeHospital
in Chattanooga, Tennessee,where I leaned
against this long run,this corridor,
and I had an encounterwith Jesus.
And from the top of my headto the soles of my feet
(14:37):
at the woman's oillike substance, hit me.
I didn't hear any more voice,but I heard in my heart
I've called you like,what does that mean?
He goes, you're going to comework with me?
I said, no, no,I'm going into politics.
But thank you.
I'm not gonna do that.
But surely Malachi teaches usI am the Lord, I change it not.
He ain't going tochange his mind.
So I.
I finally surrenderedabout three years later
(14:58):
and was working full timeministry and a habit.
I haven't had a jobsince I was 26 years old.
I get to do this.
I mean, this is just I love it.
So that's in the book.
It's it'smuch more impact than that.
But the book really centersupon those 16 words,
and Joe 33 for that.
That's why I wrote it.
And had I going to heavenyesterday, this book,
this legacy book, willI will continue to
just get the message outand make sure that people know,
(15:21):
because when a personreally grasp
the truth, that they matterand they then understand
why they matter,then nothing is impossible
to those who believe.
Because now you knowyou have the creator
of the universeon the inside of you.
Right? Oh, I love that.
Oh my gosh,thank you for sharing
also your story.
And I know that in the bookyou go into more detail.
So I appreciateyou sharing that though,
(15:41):
because it gives context to whatled you to the place
where you are today.
And it's amazinghow God just uses us.
And sometimes he calls uswhen we don't
necessarily respond right away.
But he never gives up.
He pursues uswith all vigor and passion
until we submit.
And you know, it's amazing.
And because of that,your ministry is reaching
(16:02):
so many peopleand so many teens.
So if a parent is listeningto today's show
and they want to gettheir hands on the book,
and they want to learnmore about your ministry,
where can they go? Yeah.
Let me give you a couple ideas.
One is you matter us.
While you might us.
That's our home.
That's everything you matter.
There's a brand new linkon that page
(16:22):
just at the top of thatsays struggling
with a question mark.
Click that.
And we've gone through extremeamount of work to
if you're dealingwith suicidal thoughts,
if you've lostsomeone to suicide,
if you're struggling today,there's video content there.
There's questions.
I mean, there'sso much content there
for the book itself.
You can order it on Amazonjust or simply just search.
You matter. Dean.
(16:43):
You matter.
Dean Sykes or you can go toyou matter.
Book us and get your copy there.
So, you know that thing thatwhen you were sitting alone,
tenants popped into my heartthat I shared with people a lot,
and that is justmaybe a little encourage
to some of your listeners todaythe the obstacle
that you overcome in life,the real serious obstacle
will oftentimesbecome your platform.
(17:04):
Yeah, I felt hopelessness.
I felt like I felt likeI didn't matter.
I thought suicide with my mom.
And now today,all of these decades later,
are home messages.
You matter.
God did not need your helpgetting into this
life, and conversely,he does not need your help
getting out of it.
When it's your time to go,he'll go.
And with regardsto your calling,
whatever you're called, you knowwe're on, which is very clear.
The gifts and calling of Godare irrevocable.
(17:25):
What you're called to dois never going to change.
If we choose to accept that,that's great.
If not, welcome to a lifeof frustration
because you're not going tochange the heart of God.
That is greatand that is beautiful.
And I think that really speaksto our audience.
So it's going to bevery inspirational.
Well, it has beena real pleasure.
I know that you have a wealthof knowledge and wisdom,
(17:45):
and I'm going to encourageall of our listeners
to get their hands on this book.
It seems likean amazing resource for parents,
ministry leaders, youth leaders,and potentially for just
the rest of us out therethat just need
a little bit of hopeand encouragement.
Maybe we need to hear thatwe are loved and that there
is a plan for us.
And I, I'm just so gratefulfor your time today to talk
(18:07):
and share with the the audienceabout your book
and your ministry.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You're an easyperson to talk with.
You can tell you do this a lot.
Well, thank you so much.
And thank youto all of our listeners
for tuning in to this episodeof the Covenant Eyes podcast.
We'll see you next time.
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