May 7, 2025 • 50 mins
Amber Rose, widely known as The Religious Hippie, joins The Covenant Eyes Podcast to share her extraordinary journey—from leaving the Catholic Church and struggling with pornography addiction, self-harm, and depression, to returning to the faith and becoming a powerful voice for young Catholics online.
In this deep and vulnerable conversation, Amber opens up about how modern culture, social media, and broken relationships shaped her early years—and how a powerful encounter with Christ in the Eucharist changed everything.
We Also Explore:
} How to balance faith and social media influence
} Tips for parents navigating tech with their kids
} The dangers of early exposure to porn
} Rebuilding a Catholic identity in a secular world
Practical advice for young adults dealing with peer pressure, loneliness, and dating
🔥 Whether you’re a parent, a struggling teen, or someone seeking hope and healing, this episode will touch your heart and offer real, faith-based insight.
🔗 Follow Amber Rose
YouTube: The Religious Hippie
Podcast: A Catholic's Perspective
Socials: Instagram, X, Facebook, LinkedIn
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👇 Like, Subscribe, and Share this powerful testimony with someone who needs hope today!
⏱️ CHAPTERS:
00:00 – Intro to The Covenant Eyes Podcast
00:45 – Meet Amber Rose: “The Religious Hippie”
02:00 – Her Mission: Helping People Return to the Church
04:00 – Social Media, Identity & Becoming a Catholic Creator
05:50 – Struggles with Toxic Catholic Spaces Online
07:30 – How Amber Sets Healthy Digital Boundaries
09:30 – Faith vs. Fame: Staying Grounded as an Influencer
12:00 – Amber’s Powerful Reversion Story
20:00 – Encountering Christ in the Eucharist
25:00 – Healing Through Our Lady’s Intercession
28:00 – Launching Her Ministry Online
30:00 – Helping Young Adults Through Niche Life Struggles
33:00 – Disturbing Trends in Young Children
36:00 – Parenting Advice for a Digital World
39:00 – Creating a Safe Space for Kids to Talk
44:00 – Final Reflections and Resources
#religioushippie #catholic #onlinesafety #faith #covenanteyespodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Hey, everybody, welcome backto The Covenant Eyes Podcast,
where we are all aboutempowering you to live
with integrityin a digital world rooted in
biblical truth.
Today, we are so excitedto have a guest
that has never joinedThe Covenant Eyes Podcast,
but we are excited to have her.
Her name is Amber Rose.
She is a vibrant voice in theChristian community
and she's often calledthe religious hippie.
(00:27):
I'm super excitedto get into that.
This episode is going to bea lot of fun.
I've got Theo joining usfrom Covenant Eyes.
Hey, Theo, how's it going?
Karen? It's going great.
As always.
It's an honor to co-hostalongside you.
How are you today?
I'm doing great.
I'm really excitedabout our conversation.
And, Amber, thank you forjoining us today.
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excitedto talk about this topic
(00:48):
and to talk to you guysand just dive right in.
Awesome.
Well, Amber, for our listenersthat are not familiar
with who you areand what you do, can you share
a little bitabout your background?
And alsohow'd you get that name?
Religious hippie.
That's cool.
Yeah. No, I it's great.
So I'm Amber Rose,the religious hippie.
My ministry's main focusis to help
people who have fallenaway from the church
(01:09):
to find their way back.
Because I was that person.
In 2019, I found my way backto the Catholic Church
after leaving itfor almost a decade.
I was around 11 when we left,and I came back
when I was about 19 or 20,and I didn't have
this was pre-COVID.
We didn't have,you know, social media
the way we do now with TikTok,the way it blew up.
(01:29):
And we have all these, you know,Catholic content creators
who have come upand are amazing.
I only had reallyCatholic Answers.
Trent Horn you know,and I love them.
They were great.
Father Mike Schmitz.
Oh my gosh, so amazing.
But I wanted to knowwhat it was like
to be a teenager,you know, a young adult
in the Catholic worldtrying to find your way back.
(01:51):
And I couldn't find anyrelatable sources.
It was all apologetics.
It was all about how to defendyour faith, which I was like,
this is amazing, I need this.
But when I looked for interviewsof young adults
who were passionateabout their faith,
maybe they fell away.
Maybe they went throughsome things that I went through
and they, they I just didn'tfind anybody.
(02:11):
And this was before Covid.
So, so before all the, you know,Catholic content creators
took off on TikTokand then subsequently
on other platforms.
So I decided I was like, well,if I can't find them,
maybe I'll become one of them.
And I decided to just post,you know, a video,
and I didn't really knowhow it was going to go.
(02:32):
I didn't expect anything crazy,but I was looking for community,
I was looking for camaraderie,and I wasn't finding it.
And then that videobasically blew up overnight
and thousandsof thousands of people
started following me.
I started gettingan influx of people
who are like, oh my gosh,I'm in the same boat.
I had no ideaI wasn't alone, like,
I am also where you are.
And then I realized, oh crap,I don't know much
(02:54):
about my faith.
And so I started diving deeperinto my faith.
And as people came to mewith their questions,
I started learning a lot moreabout the faith through just,
you know, my outreach inthe community that I was
kind of building on there.
And so the name came from a soit's funny because when I was
in high school,I was called hippie
(03:16):
because of my crazy hairand because of my flowy pants.
And, you know, I wasI was crazy.
I was also into New Ageoccultism.
But that's you know,it was short lived,
but I was definitely into likesome of that stuff.
And so my friends call me hippiein high school.
And, when I came backinto my faith,
the friends who did stick aroundwere like, well, I guess,
(03:36):
you know, like thereligious hippie, like you're
now like religious, right?
And so that kind of just sparkedthis whole thing.
And I was like, well, I guessI have to call myself something.
And I called myselfthe religious hippie.
It was supposed to bea temporary name,
completely temporary,but I tried changing it once and
people had a fit.
They were just like.
Why did you change it?
(03:57):
You can't change it like that.
To me it was great.
So anyway, it stuckand it was all an accident.
But, you know, I asked God.
I was just like,if this is something
you want from me,let it be done.
But if it's not,take it away from me.
Because, you know, social mediahad been a vise
for me for so long.
And he said, you know, to me,he said that I'm going
to make somethinghorrible, beautiful.
(04:17):
And I'm going to turn your viseinto a virtue
if you're strong enough.
And if you are willingto follow me and do this for me,
not for your own glorification.
And so I try to uphold thatevery day.
And it's hard, very hard.
But I do my best.
So yeah. That is cool.
Thank you.
Yeah, I love that story.
And thank you for sharingthe journey too.
I love how you were ableto redeem, you know,
(04:40):
what was kind of usedas, you know, you were a hippie
kind of mindset when you werein high school
and kind of going downa path of darkness,
you know, New Age,that kind of thing.
And you redeemedthat for God's glory,
I love that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Do you still wear the floor,you the floor we pants
and all the fun things are.
Did you go let that go?
You know, I definitely do.
I have my bell bottoms.
(05:00):
I have my peasanttops and everything.
Unfortunately, it's not likethe most esthetic thing ever.
I definitely still like it.
So I wear it.
But posting it, people are like,it's like you told me
I was promoting drugsby dressing that way.
And I was like,that's that's weird.
But okay, so now I just,you know, sweatshirts
and t shirts and stuff,but I do definitely still have
(05:23):
a very hippie flow to me.
If, if you meet mein person, for sure.
That's cool.
Oh, one of the things is that,for Covenant Eyes,
we are about livingwith integrity on the internet.
And you, Amber, have,you're all over social media,
but you've also talkedabout how social
media has downsides.
So how do you how do you balancethe good sides of social media
(05:44):
and the risks?
Yeah, I think that that'sa really hard one,
especially todaywhen the social media,
you know, world is so saturatedwith Catholic content creators,
which is great,but there has been a lot of
infighting, too,and a lot of problems
amongst Catholics onlinedragging each other
through the mud, you know, justoh, I disagree with this person.
(06:05):
So I'm going to completelyunfollow them
and like block themand whatever.
It's there's a verythere's a huge lack of humility
and prudence onlineand social media
kind of cultivates that.
And so for me,being able to protect my piece
is the most important thing,not just my peace,
but also my privacy.
I only shareas much as I'm willing to share.
(06:27):
I don't shareout of the necessity of getting
views or like, oh, this is goingto be shocking.
So people are going to want to,you know, view like the,
you know, the familyvloggers or, you know,
whatever clickbaitand things like that.
I don't try to gotowards towards that, but I
try to talk about thingsthat I'm very passionate about
and things thatI feel like young adults
are really strugglingwith in today's world.
(06:48):
And unfortunately, that comeswith a lot of backlash,
which means I have toprotect my peace.
I have to protectmy privacy, I have to,
make sure that I'mputting God first
and that he is the onethat's carrying me through this.
Because if I'm doing itfor my own gratification, my own
glory, glorification,you know, it's not it's
(07:08):
it's short lived.
It's very temporary.
Because if I'm basing my worthbased off of what
people say about me,that is going to be like,
oh, I love her. One day.
Oh, she's the worst the next.
Oh, I love her this day.
She's cancel her, you know?
So for me, it's like I have toget my strength from God truly.
And I do that throughsetting limits
with my social media.
(07:29):
Most of my social mediais actually scheduled.
People don't realize that.
But I take month long breaksfrom social media at one time
because I have to.
Because if I amsucked into this world,
if I am so deep into this world,I get sucked into the vortex
of just black pilled people and,you know, feeling like it's okay
to admonish someone onlinewithout actually,
(07:52):
I don't know, trying to gettheir perspective.
Now, there are people onlinethat do need,
you know, some public,I guess, you know, being called
out in public. Sure.
But it should always be donewith a type of charity.
And, you know, even when Jesuscalled out the Pharisees,
it was still in charityin a way, you know, to
to keep them and to prevent themfrom going deeper
(08:12):
into their pride in their ways.
And so, unfortunately,it can be very, hostile online.
And so for me, just being ableto refocus, make sure that
my phone isn't the first thingI grab in the morning,
make sure my Bible or, you know,my prayers are the first thing
I grab in the morning,my rosaries.
Always having Catholic artor something around
(08:34):
to remind me to pray.
And if I do find myselfgetting riled up online,
and this is the best quoteI think I've ever been given was
if you can't handle the heat,get out of the kitchen.
If you can't handlewhat's going on online, it's
causing you your peace.
You're gettingriled up about it.
You have to go to confessionbecause of how much
you're online chronically,or because of what
you say online,uncharitable, etc.
(08:57):
take a break.
It's reallynot that big of a deal.
And I think,people are addicted.
And so being ableto prioritize your faith
and constantly just ask, God,is this even something
I should be doing?
Because I don't believeeverybody should be on
social media or needsto be on social media,
at least to the extentthat most Catholic
(09:18):
content creators are like myselfor Trent Horn.
I think it takes veryspecific people.
You have to do itfor the right reasons.
You can't go into thisbeing like, oh,
I want to be a Catholiccontent creator
because finances, like,I want to get paid or
or I want people to seehow much I'm doing
for the church.
It really doesn't come to that.
And if you askthe big Catholic content
(09:39):
creators today, most of themstarted their ministries
just because theywanted to help people.
It wasn't for self,you know, glorification.
It wasn't for moneyor anything like that.
It was, you know, thethere was a lot of humility
that went into that decision.
And, God obviously was atthe center of that.
So for balance, honestly,I just schedule a lot of posts,
(10:03):
make sure prayer comes first.
Make sure I don't,you know, overdo it
online too much.
Especially when I'm sick,because that's all
I feel like doing.
And yeah, it's reallysimple things, but easier said
than done, for sure.
And it's a calling, right?
It's a it's a calling.
It's a kind of lowercaseb vocation.
Like, okay,I'm called to be here
and do this.
Not all of us are, butbut you are so.
(10:24):
But when you have a calling,you still have to proceed
and live it out in the bestway possible.
So yeah, I think those aresome great tips.
Thank you.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And I think you brought upsome really good points too,
because oftentimes,you know, there are and I think
we're inundatedwith this online, whether it's
on Instagram or TikTokor even on YouTube.
There are so many contentcreators.
(10:46):
I actually read a study I it wasprobably a couple months back
that being a YouTubeinfluencer is like
the number oneand number two jobs
for young people.
Like when asked in high school,what do you want to be
when you grow up?
You know, not doctors,not lawyers.
They want to be YouTubeinfluencers. Yeah.
Content creators.
And so there's thiswhole dynamic
(11:07):
of young people that, you know,they see the personalities
out there and you know,they want the
I think they're going after itfor the wrong reasons.
They see the money, the fame,you know, the notoriety.
But it actuallyis a lot of work.
And most of the the really highlevel, influencers
that are out therefor the church, whether it's
Catholic or Protestant,they really do
(11:28):
have good boundariesput in place.
You talked about that.
And I think that's somethingthat people don't realize that,
you know, they're notliving online.
A lot of times they have peoplethat manage their social
media profiles for thembecause they know the danger
of getting suckedin because, you know,
all of these platformsare designed to be addictive.
That's that's how they keeppeople coming back.
(11:48):
You know, they don't offer theirservices free because they
care about your well-being.
They offer them freebecause they build
in behavior modificationtechniques
to get you coming back.
So the advertiserscan get in front of these people
and they can sellad space and make money.
So, I mean, if we really lookat the intent of social media,
I think that's important.
But let's talka little bit about,
(12:09):
you know, in your story,you know, you left the church
and came back.
Let's talk a little bitabout that journey and,
talk about your reversion storyand how how, you know,
your transformational encounterreally led you back
to where you are today.
Yeah.
So I was born and raiseda cradle Catholic.
(12:29):
My dad raised usin the traditional
Latin Mass, and,I mean, we went to
the Novus Ordo to.
There was onethat I did, you know,
catechism at.
So I, I was there as well.
So I got the bestof both worlds,
basically, I got, you know, to,go to the North
sono and I got to go to the TLM.
But I hated mass.
I hated everything about it.
(12:49):
I hated how it was likethis hour of just doing nothing.
And, you know, I'm short.
I'm a little kid.
You know, I'm literallyjust looking at butts
because it's like I'mat a certain height.
I can't see anything.
And we always sat in the backand we always went
to the earliest mass possible,which was, surprise
730 in the morning.
(13:10):
So little me was like,not thrilled about this.
I'm like, not only doI have to sit in silence
for an hour in a churchand stare at people's
either heads or butts,but I also have to be quiet.
I can't do anything,and I have to, like,
not fall asleep either,which is also very hard to do.
But I added a low Latin Mass,because there's like
(13:32):
silence and it's darkand nobody's talking.
So I didn't like it, growing up.
And because of that,I didn't really pay attention.
And catechism class, I got myfirst communion,
I got my confirmationand I didn't, I, I goofed off
the entire time,never really absorbed anything
that was given to me.
Despite going to one of the mostbeautiful parishes
(13:55):
and going to some ofthe most informed
catechism classes,I think some people
would have died to go to thosecatechism classes, you know,
but unfortunately I just didn'trecognize it as something
that was important.
I didn't realize that it wassomething that was, you know,
I guess, important for my soul.
I, I just didn't really care.
And I hate saying that,but it's true.
(14:16):
As a little kid, I didn't care.
2011 rolled around and my familyfell away from the church
because of the sex scandalsthat were coming out.
I think a lot of peopledidn't know how to handle those
at the time, unfortunately,and my family was one of those,
and so to me,I was like, great. Yes.
Like, this is perfectbecause now I can sleepover
with my friends into Sundays.
(14:38):
I don't have to go to mass.
I don't have Catholic guilt.
I don't have togo to confession.
I don't have to any of thesegiant responsibilities
that were really keeping me safeat the time.
But to me, I viewedas restrictions,
were finally gone in my eyes.
And shortly after that, I thinkonly a couple months after that,
I was introduced to pornographyby a peer of mine at,
(14:59):
an orchestra groupthat I attended
when I was younger.
And I really liked this boy.
I thought he was smart.
I thought he was handsome.
I thought he wasinterested in me for all the
right reasons.
He gave me attention.
And the pornography kind ofjust came on slowly.
It was more of a grooming typeof situation
where I was very young.
(15:20):
He was only a little bitolder than me, not by much,
but he was groomedby a girl at his school,
and he told me about that.
And I was just like,what does that mean?
What is grooming?
What is what is anyof this stuff?
Because I'm 11, I got,you know, almost 12.
I don't know these things.
And so then over time,he slowly introduced
(15:41):
me to certain words,and he introduced me to sexting.
He introduced me to,different things
that I shouldn'thave known about at the time,
and I didn'treally still understand.
I knew that this behaviorwas expected of me from him
and that I liked him.
And so I was going to do thisbecause I liked him.
(16:03):
But unfortunately, it was justsomething that became a
you know, an 8 to 9 yearlong addiction where I
didn't realizewhy I was doing it or why I,
you know, feltthe need to do it.
But it was like a stress relief.
And it was something thatI, I just kind of kept with me.
It was a secret.
Nobody else knew about this.
(16:25):
You know, I was very good athiding everything.
And when I got my own phone,because my sister and I
were actually sharinga phone at the time, and somehow
I got away with this,and I don't know how
I got away with, you know,sharing a phone with my sister
and also doing that.
I have no idea.
But I did.
I was very, very sneaky.
I was able to get away with it.
And because I really was cravingaffirmation and I was
(16:46):
craving validationand just love, I guess
this is what I thoughtit was supposed to be like.
Because this is whatthe world tells you.
Love is like sexoutside of marriage,
you know, drama.
Just doing inappropriate thingsin general,
like dressing immodestlylike all of that.
Lust is just a partof relationships.
(17:07):
And if they'renot lusting after you,
then there's a problem.
And so from thatand then also from
viewing pornography for years,I started learning what,
basically from the womenin pornography,
what you're supposedto look like to be appealing
to the male, the male gaze.
And so I startedstarving myself, to be skinnier.
(17:28):
I was 12, I was already skinand bones like I'm a child.
And I was like, oh, I need to beskinnier.
I need to be this.
I need to look likeBritney Spears.
I need, you know, to wear thesescandalous clothings.
I need todraw attention to myself
and I still didn'tknow why I was doing it.
I was chasing validation.
I was chasing these feelings,but it always left me empty.
(17:51):
And so I kind ofwent through this
for eight years.
I developed an eating disorder.
I did I was, youknow, depressed, I was anxious,
self-harm was a huge part of it.
And during this timeI was also homeschooled.
So there's that and I wasin a few different
homeschool groups,but in one specifically,
there were always rumorsgoing on about me, about,
(18:14):
you know, oh, she's, you know,an slut.
You know, sheshe does this stuff.
She's even though it wasn'tnecessarily true
what they were saying,it still had some truth to it
because I knew I was still,you know, not a virtuous person.
And so I kind of justgot a lot of trust issues.
And I started shuttingeverybody out
(18:35):
as a teenager would do.
And then in every relationshipI ever had, you know, one
after the other,after the other, the main,
consistent thing was alwayseither pornography, sexting
or them only valuing mefor how skinny I was,
what my body looked like, etc.
and so I quickly learnedthat validation came
(18:55):
from how I looked.
And so it made mea very shallow person
because I startedputting more effort
into how I lookedas opposed to things
I knew, skills I had, you know,my personality and I would just
mold myselfinto what other people wanted me
to be in that moment,as opposed to who I really was
or what my actualviewpoints were.
(19:16):
So I became a mask of a person,and by the time I was 19,
I had no idea who I was.
I was like, I don't havea personality.
I don't have, you know,I don't know what
I'm specifically supposed to do.
I don't know why I feel so emptywhen I'm doing everything
that everybody wants me to do.
Why do I still feel this way?
(19:37):
And so it all came to a headwhen I was probably, you know,
it was in the summertimesometime, and I was in bed
and I was having, like the worstdepression episode of my life
where I couldn'tget out of bed for days.
I was just laying there,and I remember rolling over
and on my wall,I have a calendar
and it was pugsand donuts, my dad.
So it was like areally cute calendar.
(19:59):
But I rolled over and I saw thatit was Sunday and in my head
I was just like Sunday.
Okay, I have homework to do.
I have this to do.
I have everything to do.
And I kind of, I don't knowexactly what it was, if it was,
you know, the Holy Spiritor Our Lady or what it was,
but it was kind oflike this nudge of,
remember when you were youngerand I remember latching on
(20:22):
to this memory of just like usgoing to mass as a family,
and afterwards we'd get brunch.
But even though I didn'tlike mass
necessarily as a child, I likedfeeling like I had
some sort of foundation,like the pillars
were there at that time.
And I'm like, well, I've triedeverything else.
The last thing I canreally do is go to mass.
(20:42):
So I somehow gathered enoughcourage to get up,
put on the leastscandalous thing I owned,
because at that time I hada closet full of scandal and I
drove myself to mass.
Nobody knew.
My parents didn't know.
My friends didn't know.
My sister didn't know.
I just took myself to massand I walked in.
(21:03):
I sat in the back pewbecause that's where we sat
when I was a kid.
And I was almost like,immediately, like
sandwiched in by peoplewho were, like,
filing in for mass.
And I was just like,great, okay.
That's great.
Like, now I can't leaveif I want to, and I know God
kind of did that on purpose,you know, corralled me,
so to speak.
So I wouldn't I wouldn'tget up and leave.
(21:26):
But I decided I was like,you know, for my anxiety
telling me, like,you don't belong here.
And the devil obviously lyingto me, saying, like,
people are judging you,they know what you've done.
And someone couldsimply just, like, glance at me
and I'd be like, oh my gosh,they know what I did.
Like I am.
Oh no.
And so I was sandwiched incouldn't leave,
but I decided I'm like,I have to get out of here.
(21:46):
So during communion,when people get up
to go receive,I'm going to ditch
because, you know, that's that'sI've seen people do that
before too.
When I was a kid.
I'm like, people wouldjust receive
communion and leave,which is also not a good thing.
That's a different topic.
But, I was like,I'll just do that.
Nobody will notice.
Like, it'll be fine.
So eventually, you know, I'mlike just in my head
(22:06):
at this point, just thinkinglike I don't belong here, etc..
And eventuallyconsecration starts
and the priest lifts the hostfor transubstantiation
and everything freezes.
And I rememberkind of looking around
and being like, okay, well,this is a new low for my mental
illness, but, I guess I'm havinga psych moment and I remember
(22:28):
looking around,everything's frozen.
Nobody's talking.
The priest is frozen,but it's like Jesus is alive.
You know, in the Eucharistwhere there's
this pulsating light.
And I heard him say in my heart,he said, do you trust me?
And I was just like,okay, psychic break down,
like, let's go. Okay.
But I was just like, kind ofin a moment of disbelief,
(22:51):
I guess, because God had alwaysbeen something so distant to me,
something thatI just thought was
something that people imaginedto make themselves feel better
as opposed to an actual person,an actual, you know, loving God.
And I said,no, I don't trust you.
And I started listing offall the reasons why I didn't
(23:12):
introduced pornography.
My my depression,my mental illness.
All my friendsturned against me like,
why would you do this to me?
Why would you allow meto go through this?
And he kept asking.
He's like, well,do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
And I was like, no.
And I kept fighting him on this.
And, you know, at one point,the more I reflect on the story
and the more that I kind ofget back into that mindset,
(23:35):
I remember having a momentof clarity where I realized
God didn't leave me.
I left himand he had been trying
this entire timeto bring me back over the course
of eight years,and I had to take
some responsibilityfor the decisions I made, not
what was done to me,because I can't control that.
I was a victim in many ways,but now I'm an adult.
(23:59):
I have to take responsibilityfor what had happened to me
and how I respond to that now.
And in that moment,I understood that God didn't put
me through that.
You know, we live in afallen world where sin
run rampant, runs rampant,and there are other hurt
people who hurt people.
And that wasn't necessarilymy fault at all.
(24:21):
But at the same time now,it is like this behavior
that I've cultivated,is my fault because why
am I hurting myself even more?
Why am I giving my abuserthat satisfaction of, you know,
instead of healing and takingcare of myself?
Why am I torturing myself?
Why am I now becomingthe abuser of myself?
(24:41):
And I had that realizationand God just kept asking,
he's like, do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
And eventually I said, I'll try.
You know, and I always describethe hymn constantly asking over
and over again,I describe that as him
taking like a little chiseland a pick and kind of like
chipping away the stonecold parts of my heart,
because I had builtso many walls around my heart
(25:02):
at that point, from the rumorsthat were spread to people
who broke up with me,who just used me for, you know,
sexual gratification,whatever it might be.
And, he, he cracked through.
And so I after that, I stayedafter consecration, of course.
And I just had like,this moment of
(25:22):
weight being lifted offmy shoulders.
But then I also felt a differenttype of weight.
I felt pressure, like a hugfrom a mother,
a very maternal hugfrom Our Lady
saying like, you did it,you you're back.
Like you.
Finally you had to go throughwhat you had to go through.
But you're here.
And my son, once you backand now you're back.
(25:45):
And so our lady went.
And I didn't realize this until,you know, after my conversion.
But when?
A couple weeks before my Miawas a couple months.
I don't really remember,but before my reversion,
I lost my childhood rosary.
When we left the church,I lost my childhood rosary.
I had no idea where it went.
Didn't know, where it was like Iit was a beautiful
(26:08):
amber colored rosarywhich I have on my desk
over there, butno idea where it went.
Just disappeared.
And then a couple weeksbefore my reversion,
I found it on my dresserand I told my mom, like,
oh my gosh, you foundyou found my rosary.
Like, this is great.
And it didn't reallymean anything to me,
but it was like, you know,symbolic and nostalgic
and whatever.
And she was just like,no, I didn't.
And I was like, oh, well, okay.
(26:30):
Well, it just showedup on my desk, so I don't
like somebodyhad to put it there
and nobody put it there.
So I was like,well, that's weird,
but whatever.
So I hung it up on my walland I was just like,
I'll just put that there.
And then, yeah, two weeks laterI had my reversion.
So I definitely thinkit was Our Lady, you know,
giving me a littlea little nudge
and being like, hey,you know, remember the rosary.
(26:52):
Remember, my son loves you.
Remember, you know,these important things.
And after I had my reversion,I went to my car.
And people usually havelike a breakdown, like they cry,
I started laughing,I had joy that
I had not felt in overalmost a decade.
An 11 year old depressed like.
Unfortunately, it'snot that unusual these days
(27:12):
for kids to be depressed.
But at that time, I mean,I hadn't felt joy or happiness
really in almost eight years,and it was just such a relief.
And in that moment, I was like,I kind of had to stop laughing.
And I was just like, wait,either I'm all in or I'm not.
Either I go back to my old ways,either I completely like,
(27:33):
do this or I don't.
It's I can't do this halfway.
I can't live a double life.
I'm either completely in thisfor God or I'm not.
And I have to makethat decision right now.
And I reflected on my life.
I went through everythingthat had happened
when I was youngerand everything, and I was like,
yeah, we're going to gothe other way.
I'm going to go follow God now.
(27:53):
And that's what startedall of this.
Yeah.
So that's kind of likethe reversion story,
I guess. You.
Wow, that is incredible.
Oh, my gosh, that is abeautiful story.
A beautiful testimonyto the power of our Holy Father.
I just wow, I am so takenback by your story.
And I think a lot ofour listeners can relate
(28:15):
to the journeythat you've been on,
because unfortunately,it's more common
than we like to admit.
You know, the details might beslightly different,
but so many young womenreally end up in that space
that you were in and walk awayfrom the faith.
We see a lot of young peopleturning from the faith.
And, we also hearthe testimonies of people
who have come backand found that.
(28:36):
So I justI'm so grateful for you
sharing that.
Thank youfor your vulnerability.
Thank you.
Yeah. You.
No, I'm happy to share.
You've really builtyour ministry around your
your your reversionand your your stories.
So talk to us a little bitabout some of the work
that you're doing right nowonline and in other ways
to support,people in your community
(28:57):
and to help them growin their faith as well.
Yeah, I think communityis so important.
And, you know, we're in themiddle of moving right now,
so everything's a little bitall over the place.
But I will say thatone of the things
I've really been trying to dowhen I kind of had a moment, in
prayer, is whenI was in adoration
and I was just like, Lord,I don't know where to take this
(29:19):
anymore.
Like, I've alreadyshared my story so many times.
I've already sharedwhat I've gone through
and how to, you know, what morecan I bring to this?
And if this is theend of the ministry,
how do I go about that?
Like, what do I do about that?
And he was like,no, you're not done yet.
Sorry.
I know you probably want to be,but you're not.
He's just like,mainly what I felt was
(29:42):
there is a need formy generation to know how
to navigate this life.
There are tonsof people out there
who are talking abouttheir own stories,
which is great.
And there are tonsof people out there
talking about apologeticsand how to defend the faith,
which is great, and allof that's important.
(30:03):
But what about thoseweird niche situations?
What about thoseyoung adult situations
that you find yourself in thatnobody can really understand
because they're specific to you?
And so I have somethingcalled the help segment,
where people email me inabout their specific situations
and I can share,you know, my experience.
(30:26):
But then I also havea spiritual director
who is wonderfuland has given me so much advice
on on how to help these people.
And I get information frompriests on everything on
how to address these situations.
And so that's somethingthat I've really been
trying to lean more into, iswhat is saturating the,
(30:46):
I guess, the secular cultureright now,
and how is that bleedinginto Catholicism?
And, you know,the young Catholics
that are trying to navigatethe secular world.
I have a podcast called ACatholics Perspective,
and my little slogan is,all about a young Catholic
trying to survivein a secular world.
And so I'm like, I really needto take that more seriously
(31:08):
and look into what's going onright now online, offline,
in the dating pool, but alsoin personal lives.
You know, I think a lot of stuffis similar but under
different circumstances,because when I was 11,
social mediawasn't really a thing.
And now it is, so the youngergeneration are being raised
(31:30):
on social media and what is thatcosting them spiritually but
also mentally?
And how can they handle that?
Because when you're a kid,you think your parents know
what's best for you.
And, you know,I assume most parents
do try their best.
And, but a lot of parentsdo fall short.
And it's like, well, how do wenavigate these things
that our parents don't knowhow to deal with and or don't
(31:53):
even know about?
And I'm hoping that the ministryand some videos
and some podcaststhat I'm putting out there
will help these specificniche situations in dating.
It's like, well, whatif I'm dating, you know, a guy
and he's lukewarm Catholic, but,you know, he says he's
going to get betteror but he isn't.
(32:14):
Just like very niche situations.
I'm can't think ofanything off the top of my head
because they're sospecific sometimes.
But I'm really trying to helpthe younger generation.
I've babysat for almostfor one family
for almost ten yearsat this point, and,
I've watched them grow up.
I've seen how social mediahas affected them,
how Covid affected themwhen they were younger,
(32:36):
and you know, the strugglesthat they're going through.
I'm like, you should not knowabout any of this
as a nine year old,or you shouldn't
be going through thisas a nine year old.
One of the one of the girls,she often writes on random
pieces of paperthroughout the house.
And I came acrossa piece of paper
and she's at this point,she was probably,
(33:00):
I want to say, yeah,maybe 9 or 10.
And she basically talkedabout how she longed
for a simpler time,how she longed for a time
when her parents didn'thave high expectations.
She's nine, didn't have highexpectations of her.
She longed for a time when hermom used to brush her hair,
and her dadused to sit on the couch
with her and watch moviesand not have any
(33:20):
expectations of her,and it makes her sad and I was
and I read thisand I was just like,
okay, there is a problem here.
Like she was alreadyfeeling nostalgic
and she's nine.
She's not even a teen yet.
She's not even in double digits.
And I'm like, what is going on?
So I'm really, really tryingto reach the younger kids
(33:41):
who are being fedall this, you know,
just secular crap that they're,you know, that they should
be introduced to pornography,that sex doesn't mean anything,
that they can sell their bodiesonline, that this is a
normal type of relationship.
Because, yeah, I see ita lot and it's really,
really sad.
I think you bring upa really good point, too,
(34:02):
because we've seensome studies recently
that are kind of showingthe younger generation
almost trending back, backto like non-smart
phones, flip phones, you know,they want to wait.
I don't want to be online.
I want to be in real life.
And so we are seeinglittle incremental movements
among the young peoplebecause I think they sense
(34:22):
something's not right.
And they long for somethingthat maybe they've
never even experiencedbecause their whole life
technology has been there.
But they they sensethat technology
has driven them awayfrom what is better
and what is good.
And ultimately,they're really seeking
a deeper relationshipwith our Lord.
But, you know, in communityin connection with real human.
(34:42):
So I'm glad to seethere's sparks of hope out there
that this generationis waking up and seeing that.
And your story about the girlwriting the note,
I think is symbolicto that as well,
because we're hearingthose kind of stories
all the time.
So there's anawakening happening,
and I'm excited to see thatbecause I think technology with
it does have its good, moments.
(35:03):
And, you know, we use it to havethese podcast conversations
and to get the word outabout your ministry.
But there are some evil,dark things happening in the
technological space.
And pornographyis one of those things,
and it's poisoningour young people.
So I just I'm gratefulthat you shared that story.
And I love how you're reallytaking people's stories
at an individual levelbecause it shows them
(35:26):
I'm seen, I'm heard,and then you can direct them,
to really where the answers lie,which is in God's Word
and in his loving support.
So I love that. Theo.
I bet you've got questions.
I didn't mean to jump in there.
No, no, I, I yeah,you everything you said
was right.
I think, Amber,one of the things that
I, we admire about youis your willingness
(35:47):
to kind of takeon all the topics.
There hasn't been any,sacred cows or anything.
You seem to have void obviously.
Pornography. Right.
You're. Yeah, yeah.
And, promoted us.
So. So you're here.
But even dating modesty,you know, the occult,
I mean, nothing from whatI've seen in your videos.
So has has seemedto be off the table.
(36:09):
You kind of already answeredone of the questions in my mind.
I love your, kind of direction.
You're goingwhere you want to answer
specific things.
I was wonderingif there's anything
that seems to kind ofcome up more regularly.
Or, like, you know, any trendsyou've noticed in these niche
questions, but, you know,now they're also very specific.
But, I guess I want to combinetwo kind of things
(36:31):
into one here.
I want to, ask maybe what aresome of the ways of handling
certain topics that you foundto be effective?
And then since you'rewanting to appeal to the
younger generation, as do we,we tend to do that a lot by
getting to the parents.
So what do you thinkparents need to,
(36:52):
need need to knowto kind of be able to do
what you're doingfor their kids,
if that all makes sense.
Yeah, I think especially withthe younger generation,
the number one thing that I getis about friendships
and about how they've realizedthat they're, you know,
their faith is reallyimportant to them,
(37:12):
but their friends have takena completely detour route.
And these are peoplewho have been friends for years
and years and years.
But it's like, well,what do I do with my friends
becoming hostile towardsmy faith?
We've been friends for years,but all of a sudden it's
just this 160and I'm heartbroken and I don't
know what to do.
And it reallydoes have to do a lot
with relationshipsand whether that's, you know,
(37:33):
dating or friendships.
But I've noticed thatthere is a huge influx
of also people just not knowinghow to interact with each other
properly.
We've lost the artof communication.
We've lost the art of argument.
You know, where it's likean argument is always this
negative thing nowadays.
But in the old days, like,you could argue with someone
(37:54):
where it's like you could havediffering opinions,
still respect each otherand still be able to move on
and be friends after it.
It's not this I'm cuttingmy family off for Thanksgiving.
It's, you know, that wehave these days.
So I definitely see a lot of it.
Most people, with relationships,whether that's
parent relationshipwhere the child
(38:15):
wants to convert, the parentwants to kick them out,
or, you know,whatever it might be.
That's a huge oneright now, actually.
Or it might be,you know, dating, like,
how do I find somebodyin this world where it's like,
sometimes Catholicsaren't even Catholic?
They say they are, but they'renot sometimes, and they're fine
with sex outside of marriageor they're fine doing,
(38:36):
you know, pushing the boundariesa little bit.
And then of course, friendshipswhere, like, we had all this
stuff in common.
I started taking my faithmore seriously.
They did it.
And now it feels like, you know,they're my enemy.
So those are like, the top onesthat I've been seeing
as relationships.
And for parents, I mean,there is a lot going on.
(38:58):
And I thinkthe most important thing
that I tell parentsis that if you don't
teach your kids the world well,and that goes for anything
that can go for sex,that can go for virtue,
that can go for jobsand your worth.
And for me, I never hadthe sex talk.
I never had you know, anyI, I figured all of this out
(39:19):
on my own.
I also taught myselfhow to read and write.
So I was very much so.
My parents don't knowwhat they're talking about.
I'm going to go offon my own and, you know, find
my own answersbecause I was just
raised in that mindsetwhere it's like
fend for yourself kind of thing.
You know, you have tofigure it out for yourself.
And so I did, and I gotI got deep in a lot of trouble
(39:44):
because I didn't have guidance.
I didn't have the bumperskeeping me from falling into,
you know, the dangerousof the world.
And the only bumpers I had werethe Catholic Church, though
I didn't know it at the time,and when those were taken away,
I was just free to be a gutterball, basically.
And that's what happened.
And so I tell parents, I'm like,do not be afraid of these hard
(40:05):
conversations.
You are the parent.
You have a dutyto protect your child,
and you have a dutyto protect them
online and offline.
And so you have to be able tohave these hard
conversations with them.
And whether or not they take itin the moment,
they will hopefully,when they're older, understand,
(40:27):
or when they're facedwith a situation like this.
I think the worst thingthat happened was, for me,
at least in these situations,is that I was blamed,
a lot for what happened.
It's like, well, you should haveknown better.
You should have this, thisand that, whatever.
And so instead of being like,oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
(40:47):
that happenedto you, like, this is, you know,
we'll we'll do somethingabout this or,
you know, instead of being the.
Yeah, I guesshaving a safe space
to be able to tellan adult, any adult,
what was happeningbehind the scenes.
I did not have that.
I didn't have oneadult in my life who I felt like
(41:08):
I could go to and be like,this is happening to me.
What do I do?
Everybody kind ofjust brushed me off
or I was blamed for it.
So I implore parentsto have patience
with their children to not gointo it, judge,
like judging them or, you know,yelling at them
(41:29):
or anything, like, of coursethere needs to be a discussion,
but it, you know,I think parents can become
very emotional when they learntheir child's hurt.
And I think it can comefrom a very good place.
But the child needs, support.
They need discussion,they need an open space,
(41:49):
not they don't needsometimes the fact
that you know thatsomething's bad
is punishment enough.
My husband and I talk about thisall the time.
It's like sometimes just the actof doing something and coming
to your parent,knowing that you've done
something wrong and telling themyou've done something wrong
is punishment enough.
And what that child really needsis, is a hug, you know?
(42:09):
I mean, I could have been at it.
I could have benefitedfrom a hug, like, so many times
as a child.
So I would say to parents,you know, have patience with
your child for real.
That's good advice.
I think that's really important.
I know as, a mom myself,my daughter's 26 now,
and the best part of herbeing at that age is
we can reflect on her journeysas a young person
(42:32):
because technologycame out when she was,
I think maybe inlike late middle school,
and she didn'tget a phone right away.
And she was so bitter towards usbecause we wouldn't
let her have technology.
And now that she's older,she's like, thank you.
You like thank youfor being that parent
and sticking it out.
Even though I saidI didn't like you guys,
you were so mean.
You know, all these thingsbecause she knows now
(42:54):
the dangers that are there.
And, you know, toall of our parents out
there, it's not easy.
I understand,like keeping up with
what's happeningin the technology space or,
you know, the cyberbullying,the sexting, all the things
that happened that we didn'thave access to as young people.
We don't understandthem. It's hard.
But just becausesomething's hard doesn't
(43:14):
give us the rightto not do our very best
to figure it out and to be therefor our children.
So, you know, let's do better.
Parents, I mean, we canthere's tools like
Covenant Eyes.
Protect Young Eyesis a great organization
that keeps you in tuned.
There's people we canwe can actually
refer our children to listen topeople like Amber, you know,
(43:35):
healthy podcast and YouTubeand TikTok videos, people
that we wantour children to emulate.
But we have to be engaged.
We need to know whoour children are listening to.
Because, Amber, you're a great,amazing person.
Thank you.
But there are a lot of badactors out there.
There are people who claim to bein the faith
and are misdirectingour young people, you know, or
(43:56):
just have bad theologyand they don't even know it.
We have to bewe have to know who
our children are listening toand following.
You know, in my day,it was my parents
who needed to payattention to the music
I was listening to.
But nowadays it'swho are your kids listening to
on podcasts and YouTubeand TikTok
and all the rest, right?
If you hold the linewhile they're teenagers.
My, my, I wasI was late to the game
(44:16):
with the phones to okay,my parents made sure I didn't
and I didn't always like.
And I noticed like,oh, it's not like
everybody else,but you hold the line.
And one thing that Karen and Ican witness to is that your,
your kids willstay in relationship with you
as they're older, right.
You have a great relationshipwith your daughter.
I have a great relationship withmy parents.
Now that I'm 31,it pays dividends long term.
(44:37):
Yeah, it's really hardin the beginning, but
I think the parents who cave,they realize like, oh no, I've
made a mistake, you know, andthe parents who don't cave
and they give their kids,you know, the freedom
to feel their feelings,you know, to be upset
within reason.
Because sometimes kidsthese days can go
a little crazy, No.
(44:58):
Matter what.
But, you know, you have to,you definitely have to
walk them through thisand teenagers
are emotional, like,they're going to
they're going totry and guilt you.
They're going to try.
Because in that moment,it feels so real.
It really does to feel left out,to not have a phone,
to not be able to doall these other things
(45:18):
your friends are doing.
But then, you know,you kind of look at it.
And when I was kind oftalking to the girls that, I
babysat for, I was ten years,the oldest got a
phone and her companycompletely changed.
Her entire demeanorhas completely changed.
And I talk to the youngersiblings, and I was like,
do you see, like,what technology and what social
(45:41):
media can do?
And they're just like, yeah,we miss our sister.
Like, I don't knowwhat happened.
Like all of a suddenshe's obsessed
with how she looks.
She's on her phone all the time.
She's not talking to us.
She's more moody.
And so I've had talks with,you know,
the oldest one as well.
And she just breaks downall the time.
(46:02):
Just about like.
I don't know why this person'snot texting me back.
I don't know if I did something.
Is this okay to post likeand and, you know, their parents
are very similar to whatI had growing up,
you know, with,like, adult figures
where it's like they don't feelsafe going to them. So
it's like, it's unfortunatebecause, you know,
(46:24):
they build these wallsand it just becomes
a bigger problem, you know?
And I do what I can to makethe parents aware,
because that ismy responsibility.
But, you know,you can't do anything
if the parents don'tdo anything.
I'm just the babysitter.
Yeah, I think, too,for parents out there,
that might be feelinga little bit like, wow, this is
this is a lot.
(46:44):
You know, I don't know howto do all this.
The thing is, is thatwe are going to make mistakes.
But if we canactually just humbly
go to our kids when we knowthat we have let them down,
or maybe we weren't therewhen we should have been there.
I mean that the best parentsare going to fail in some way,
and just admittingthat to your children
and letting them know,like, you know,
I don't know everything.
(47:05):
And sometimes I make mistakesand I think I let you down
and I'm sorry.
And asking their forgivenessreally can go far to building
trust with your kids,because I know as a mom
I made mistakes.
And really,when you humble yourself
and you admit those and you justask them for,
you know, some graceand let them know that we're on
this journey togetherand I'm learning
as I go as well.
I think that can go really far.
(47:26):
So if you're a parent that maybedid give the phone and maybe
have some regrets there, there'sstill a way forward.
You know, you can stillgo to your child and be like,
maybe we made a littlebit of a mistake here.
I want to kind of walk this backand I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if this is harmedyou in any way.
And I want to make this right,and I'm here for you.
And, you know, you mentionedjust just a hug.
Sometimes a hug can really goa long ways, right?
(47:48):
It really.
Can. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, we're comingto the end of today's
episode, Amber.
And I want to make surethat all of our listeners
can get connectedwith you and find you in all
your social spacesso that they can
follow your work.
So where can they goto learn more? Yeah.
So I have a YouTube channel,which is where I upload
a lot of videosabout what's going on.
(48:08):
For young adultsin the secular world,
I try to take like a funnyspin on it too.
So it's really entertainingand also, you know, informative.
So it can keep the,you know, Gen Alpha's
attention span in there,because my dad
is not very good either,but I get entertained
when I edit them.
So I'm like, this is good.
This is a good one.
And then I also have apodcast called
A Catholics Perspective.
(48:29):
And you can basically follow meon any social media platform
I'm on, Instagram, X,Facebook, LinkedIn,
for some reason.
And yeah.
Awesome. All right.
Well that's awesome.
We'll put allthose links in the show
notes for our listenersthat might be at the gym
or driving.
We know how hard that isto try to type that in
while you're doingsomething else.
So no worries there.
We've got your back.
(48:50):
Well, Theo, thanks againfor joining us today.
I hope that you founda lot of value
in today's conversation.
I know I did.
I definitelyI definitely did too.
It was great to get connectedwith the religious hippie and,
hear about this.
And, you know, I'm a parentof a three year old.
Right.
So I have, a lot to,to, to learn.
So I've definitelyhad some things I can, you know,
(49:10):
take back even tomy own parenting, but also,
yeah, our our, our generation.
Amber and I are kind ofin the same generation,
so we got, a lot of work to do,evangelizing, the fellow members
of our generation, our fellowCatholics, and, and, yeah,
we're just great to have youon the podcast.
Amber, thank youfor promoting us.
(49:31):
Thank you for sharingthe good word and speaking
the word of truth into all ofthese different topics,
these topics that are soon the ground and involved
with people's lives.
Just thanks for everythingyou're doing, and it's an honor
to have you on todayand to be connected with you
and do the work alongside you.
So thanks so much. Yes.
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
And thank you for all the workthat you guys are doing as well,
because our generation needs itand it's so important.
(49:53):
So thank you.
I really appreciate it.
Well, thank youand thanks to all
of our listeners for tuning into this episode
of The Covenant Eyes Podcast.
We'll see you next time.
Take care. God bless.
Hey, everybody, welcome backto The Covenant Eyes Podcast,
where we are all aboutempowering you to live
with integrityin a digital world rooted in
biblical truth.
Today, we are so excitedto have a guest
that has never joinedThe Covenant Eyes Podcast,
but we are excited to have her.
Her name is Amber Rose.
She is a vibrant voice in theChristian community
and she's often calledthe religious hippie.
(00:27):
I'm super excitedto get into that.
This episode is going to bea lot of fun.
I've got Theo joining usfrom Covenant Eyes.
Hey, Theo, how's it going?
Karen? It's going great.
As always.
It's an honor to co-hostalongside you.
How are you today?
I'm doing great.
I'm really excitedabout our conversation.
And, Amber, thank you forjoining us today.
Thank you for having me.
I'm so excitedto talk about this topic
(00:48):
and to talk to you guysand just dive right in.
Awesome.
Well, Amber, for our listenersthat are not familiar
with who you areand what you do, can you share
a little bitabout your background?
And alsohow'd you get that name?
Religious hippie.
That's cool.
Yeah. No, I it's great.
So I'm Amber Rose,the religious hippie.
My ministry's main focusis to help
people who have fallenaway from the church
(01:09):
to find their way back.
Because I was that person.
In 2019, I found my way backto the Catholic Church
after leaving itfor almost a decade.
I was around 11 when we left,and I came back
when I was about 19 or 20,and I didn't have
this was pre-COVID.
We didn't have,you know, social media
the way we do now with TikTok,the way it blew up.
(01:29):
And we have all these, you know,Catholic content creators
who have come upand are amazing.
I only had reallyCatholic Answers.
Trent Horn you know,and I love them.
They were great.
Father Mike Schmitz.
Oh my gosh, so amazing.
But I wanted to knowwhat it was like
to be a teenager,you know, a young adult
in the Catholic worldtrying to find your way back.
(01:51):
And I couldn't find anyrelatable sources.
It was all apologetics.
It was all about how to defendyour faith, which I was like,
this is amazing, I need this.
But when I looked for interviewsof young adults
who were passionateabout their faith,
maybe they fell away.
Maybe they went throughsome things that I went through
and they, they I just didn'tfind anybody.
(02:11):
And this was before Covid.
So, so before all the, you know,Catholic content creators
took off on TikTokand then subsequently
on other platforms.
So I decided I was like, well,if I can't find them,
maybe I'll become one of them.
And I decided to just post,you know, a video,
and I didn't really knowhow it was going to go.
(02:32):
I didn't expect anything crazy,but I was looking for community,
I was looking for camaraderie,and I wasn't finding it.
And then that videobasically blew up overnight
and thousandsof thousands of people
started following me.
I started gettingan influx of people
who are like, oh my gosh,I'm in the same boat.
I had no ideaI wasn't alone, like,
I am also where you are.
And then I realized, oh crap,I don't know much
(02:54):
about my faith.
And so I started diving deeperinto my faith.
And as people came to mewith their questions,
I started learning a lot moreabout the faith through just,
you know, my outreach inthe community that I was
kind of building on there.
And so the name came from a soit's funny because when I was
in high school,I was called hippie
(03:16):
because of my crazy hairand because of my flowy pants.
And, you know, I wasI was crazy.
I was also into New Ageoccultism.
But that's you know,it was short lived,
but I was definitely into likesome of that stuff.
And so my friends call me hippiein high school.
And, when I came backinto my faith,
the friends who did stick aroundwere like, well, I guess,
(03:36):
you know, like thereligious hippie, like you're
now like religious, right?
And so that kind of just sparkedthis whole thing.
And I was like, well, I guessI have to call myself something.
And I called myselfthe religious hippie.
It was supposed to bea temporary name,
completely temporary,but I tried changing it once and
people had a fit.
They were just like.
Why did you change it?
(03:57):
You can't change it like that.
To me it was great.
So anyway, it stuckand it was all an accident.
But, you know, I asked God.
I was just like,if this is something
you want from me,let it be done.
But if it's not,take it away from me.
Because, you know, social mediahad been a vise
for me for so long.
And he said, you know, to me,he said that I'm going
to make somethinghorrible, beautiful.
(04:17):
And I'm going to turn your viseinto a virtue
if you're strong enough.
And if you are willingto follow me and do this for me,
not for your own glorification.
And so I try to uphold thatevery day.
And it's hard, very hard.
But I do my best.
So yeah. That is cool.
Thank you.
Yeah, I love that story.
And thank you for sharingthe journey too.
I love how you were ableto redeem, you know,
(04:40):
what was kind of usedas, you know, you were a hippie
kind of mindset when you werein high school
and kind of going downa path of darkness,
you know, New Age,that kind of thing.
And you redeemedthat for God's glory,
I love that.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Do you still wear the floor,you the floor we pants
and all the fun things are.
Did you go let that go?
You know, I definitely do.
I have my bell bottoms.
(05:00):
I have my peasanttops and everything.
Unfortunately, it's not likethe most esthetic thing ever.
I definitely still like it.
So I wear it.
But posting it, people are like,it's like you told me
I was promoting drugsby dressing that way.
And I was like,that's that's weird.
But okay, so now I just,you know, sweatshirts
and t shirts and stuff,but I do definitely still have
(05:23):
a very hippie flow to me.
If, if you meet mein person, for sure.
That's cool.
Oh, one of the things is that,for Covenant Eyes,
we are about livingwith integrity on the internet.
And you, Amber, have,you're all over social media,
but you've also talkedabout how social
media has downsides.
So how do you how do you balancethe good sides of social media
(05:44):
and the risks?
Yeah, I think that that'sa really hard one,
especially todaywhen the social media,
you know, world is so saturatedwith Catholic content creators,
which is great,but there has been a lot of
infighting, too,and a lot of problems
amongst Catholics onlinedragging each other
through the mud, you know, justoh, I disagree with this person.
(06:05):
So I'm going to completelyunfollow them
and like block themand whatever.
It's there's a verythere's a huge lack of humility
and prudence onlineand social media
kind of cultivates that.
And so for me,being able to protect my piece
is the most important thing,not just my peace,
but also my privacy.
I only shareas much as I'm willing to share.
(06:27):
I don't shareout of the necessity of getting
views or like, oh, this is goingto be shocking.
So people are going to want to,you know, view like the,
you know, the familyvloggers or, you know,
whatever clickbaitand things like that.
I don't try to gotowards towards that, but I
try to talk about thingsthat I'm very passionate about
and things thatI feel like young adults
are really strugglingwith in today's world.
(06:48):
And unfortunately, that comeswith a lot of backlash,
which means I have toprotect my peace.
I have to protectmy privacy, I have to,
make sure that I'mputting God first
and that he is the onethat's carrying me through this.
Because if I'm doing itfor my own gratification, my own
glory, glorification,you know, it's not it's
(07:08):
it's short lived.
It's very temporary.
Because if I'm basing my worthbased off of what
people say about me,that is going to be like,
oh, I love her. One day.
Oh, she's the worst the next.
Oh, I love her this day.
She's cancel her, you know?
So for me, it's like I have toget my strength from God truly.
And I do that throughsetting limits
with my social media.
(07:29):
Most of my social mediais actually scheduled.
People don't realize that.
But I take month long breaksfrom social media at one time
because I have to.
Because if I amsucked into this world,
if I am so deep into this world,I get sucked into the vortex
of just black pilled people and,you know, feeling like it's okay
to admonish someone onlinewithout actually,
(07:52):
I don't know, trying to gettheir perspective.
Now, there are people onlinethat do need,
you know, some public,I guess, you know, being called
out in public. Sure.
But it should always be donewith a type of charity.
And, you know, even when Jesuscalled out the Pharisees,
it was still in charityin a way, you know, to
to keep them and to prevent themfrom going deeper
(08:12):
into their pride in their ways.
And so, unfortunately,it can be very, hostile online.
And so for me, just being ableto refocus, make sure that
my phone isn't the first thingI grab in the morning,
make sure my Bible or, you know,my prayers are the first thing
I grab in the morning,my rosaries.
Always having Catholic artor something around
(08:34):
to remind me to pray.
And if I do find myselfgetting riled up online,
and this is the best quoteI think I've ever been given was
if you can't handle the heat,get out of the kitchen.
If you can't handlewhat's going on online, it's
causing you your peace.
You're gettingriled up about it.
You have to go to confessionbecause of how much
you're online chronically,or because of what
you say online,uncharitable, etc.
(08:57):
take a break.
It's reallynot that big of a deal.
And I think,people are addicted.
And so being ableto prioritize your faith
and constantly just ask, God,is this even something
I should be doing?
Because I don't believeeverybody should be on
social media or needsto be on social media,
at least to the extentthat most Catholic
(09:18):
content creators are like myselfor Trent Horn.
I think it takes veryspecific people.
You have to do itfor the right reasons.
You can't go into thisbeing like, oh,
I want to be a Catholiccontent creator
because finances, like,I want to get paid or
or I want people to seehow much I'm doing
for the church.
It really doesn't come to that.
And if you askthe big Catholic content
(09:39):
creators today, most of themstarted their ministries
just because theywanted to help people.
It wasn't for self,you know, glorification.
It wasn't for moneyor anything like that.
It was, you know, thethere was a lot of humility
that went into that decision.
And, God obviously was atthe center of that.
So for balance, honestly,I just schedule a lot of posts,
(10:03):
make sure prayer comes first.
Make sure I don't,you know, overdo it
online too much.
Especially when I'm sick,because that's all
I feel like doing.
And yeah, it's reallysimple things, but easier said
than done, for sure.
And it's a calling, right?
It's a it's a calling.
It's a kind of lowercaseb vocation.
Like, okay,I'm called to be here
and do this.
Not all of us are, butbut you are so.
(10:24):
But when you have a calling,you still have to proceed
and live it out in the bestway possible.
So yeah, I think those aresome great tips.
Thank you.
Absolutely. Yeah.
And I think you brought upsome really good points too,
because oftentimes,you know, there are and I think
we're inundatedwith this online, whether it's
on Instagram or TikTokor even on YouTube.
There are so many contentcreators.
(10:46):
I actually read a study I it wasprobably a couple months back
that being a YouTubeinfluencer is like
the number oneand number two jobs
for young people.
Like when asked in high school,what do you want to be
when you grow up?
You know, not doctors,not lawyers.
They want to be YouTubeinfluencers. Yeah.
Content creators.
And so there's thiswhole dynamic
(11:07):
of young people that, you know,they see the personalities
out there and you know,they want the
I think they're going after itfor the wrong reasons.
They see the money, the fame,you know, the notoriety.
But it actuallyis a lot of work.
And most of the the really highlevel, influencers
that are out therefor the church, whether it's
Catholic or Protestant,they really do
(11:28):
have good boundariesput in place.
You talked about that.
And I think that's somethingthat people don't realize that,
you know, they're notliving online.
A lot of times they have peoplethat manage their social
media profiles for thembecause they know the danger
of getting suckedin because, you know,
all of these platformsare designed to be addictive.
That's that's how they keeppeople coming back.
(11:48):
You know, they don't offer theirservices free because they
care about your well-being.
They offer them freebecause they build
in behavior modificationtechniques
to get you coming back.
So the advertiserscan get in front of these people
and they can sellad space and make money.
So, I mean, if we really lookat the intent of social media,
I think that's important.
But let's talka little bit about,
(12:09):
you know, in your story,you know, you left the church
and came back.
Let's talk a little bitabout that journey and,
talk about your reversion storyand how how, you know,
your transformational encounterreally led you back
to where you are today.
Yeah.
So I was born and raiseda cradle Catholic.
(12:29):
My dad raised usin the traditional
Latin Mass, and,I mean, we went to
the Novus Ordo to.
There was onethat I did, you know,
catechism at.
So I, I was there as well.
So I got the bestof both worlds,
basically, I got, you know, to,go to the North
sono and I got to go to the TLM.
But I hated mass.
I hated everything about it.
(12:49):
I hated how it was likethis hour of just doing nothing.
And, you know, I'm short.
I'm a little kid.
You know, I'm literallyjust looking at butts
because it's like I'mat a certain height.
I can't see anything.
And we always sat in the backand we always went
to the earliest mass possible,which was, surprise
730 in the morning.
(13:10):
So little me was like,not thrilled about this.
I'm like, not only doI have to sit in silence
for an hour in a churchand stare at people's
either heads or butts,but I also have to be quiet.
I can't do anything,and I have to, like,
not fall asleep either,which is also very hard to do.
But I added a low Latin Mass,because there's like
(13:32):
silence and it's darkand nobody's talking.
So I didn't like it, growing up.
And because of that,I didn't really pay attention.
And catechism class, I got myfirst communion,
I got my confirmationand I didn't, I, I goofed off
the entire time,never really absorbed anything
that was given to me.
Despite going to one of the mostbeautiful parishes
(13:55):
and going to some ofthe most informed
catechism classes,I think some people
would have died to go to thosecatechism classes, you know,
but unfortunately I just didn'trecognize it as something
that was important.
I didn't realize that it wassomething that was, you know,
I guess, important for my soul.
I, I just didn't really care.
And I hate saying that,but it's true.
(14:16):
As a little kid, I didn't care.
2011 rolled around and my familyfell away from the church
because of the sex scandalsthat were coming out.
I think a lot of peopledidn't know how to handle those
at the time, unfortunately,and my family was one of those,
and so to me,I was like, great. Yes.
Like, this is perfectbecause now I can sleepover
with my friends into Sundays.
(14:38):
I don't have to go to mass.
I don't have Catholic guilt.
I don't have togo to confession.
I don't have to any of thesegiant responsibilities
that were really keeping me safeat the time.
But to me, I viewedas restrictions,
were finally gone in my eyes.
And shortly after that, I thinkonly a couple months after that,
I was introduced to pornographyby a peer of mine at,
(14:59):
an orchestra groupthat I attended
when I was younger.
And I really liked this boy.
I thought he was smart.
I thought he was handsome.
I thought he wasinterested in me for all the
right reasons.
He gave me attention.
And the pornography kind ofjust came on slowly.
It was more of a grooming typeof situation
where I was very young.
(15:20):
He was only a little bitolder than me, not by much,
but he was groomedby a girl at his school,
and he told me about that.
And I was just like,what does that mean?
What is grooming?
What is what is anyof this stuff?
Because I'm 11, I got,you know, almost 12.
I don't know these things.
And so then over time,he slowly introduced
(15:41):
me to certain words,and he introduced me to sexting.
He introduced me to,different things
that I shouldn'thave known about at the time,
and I didn'treally still understand.
I knew that this behaviorwas expected of me from him
and that I liked him.
And so I was going to do thisbecause I liked him.
(16:03):
But unfortunately, it was justsomething that became a
you know, an 8 to 9 yearlong addiction where I
didn't realizewhy I was doing it or why I,
you know, feltthe need to do it.
But it was like a stress relief.
And it was something thatI, I just kind of kept with me.
It was a secret.
Nobody else knew about this.
(16:25):
You know, I was very good athiding everything.
And when I got my own phone,because my sister and I
were actually sharinga phone at the time, and somehow
I got away with this,and I don't know how
I got away with, you know,sharing a phone with my sister
and also doing that.
I have no idea.
But I did.
I was very, very sneaky.
I was able to get away with it.
And because I really was cravingaffirmation and I was
(16:46):
craving validationand just love, I guess
this is what I thoughtit was supposed to be like.
Because this is whatthe world tells you.
Love is like sexoutside of marriage,
you know, drama.
Just doing inappropriate thingsin general,
like dressing immodestlylike all of that.
Lust is just a partof relationships.
(17:07):
And if they'renot lusting after you,
then there's a problem.
And so from thatand then also from
viewing pornography for years,I started learning what,
basically from the womenin pornography,
what you're supposedto look like to be appealing
to the male, the male gaze.
And so I startedstarving myself, to be skinnier.
(17:28):
I was 12, I was already skinand bones like I'm a child.
And I was like, oh, I need to beskinnier.
I need to be this.
I need to look likeBritney Spears.
I need, you know, to wear thesescandalous clothings.
I need todraw attention to myself
and I still didn'tknow why I was doing it.
I was chasing validation.
I was chasing these feelings,but it always left me empty.
(17:51):
And so I kind ofwent through this
for eight years.
I developed an eating disorder.
I did I was, youknow, depressed, I was anxious,
self-harm was a huge part of it.
And during this timeI was also homeschooled.
So there's that and I wasin a few different
homeschool groups,but in one specifically,
there were always rumorsgoing on about me, about,
(18:14):
you know, oh, she's, you know,an slut.
You know, sheshe does this stuff.
She's even though it wasn'tnecessarily true
what they were saying,it still had some truth to it
because I knew I was still,you know, not a virtuous person.
And so I kind of justgot a lot of trust issues.
And I started shuttingeverybody out
(18:35):
as a teenager would do.
And then in every relationshipI ever had, you know, one
after the other,after the other, the main,
consistent thing was alwayseither pornography, sexting
or them only valuing mefor how skinny I was,
what my body looked like, etc.
and so I quickly learnedthat validation came
(18:55):
from how I looked.
And so it made mea very shallow person
because I startedputting more effort
into how I lookedas opposed to things
I knew, skills I had, you know,my personality and I would just
mold myselfinto what other people wanted me
to be in that moment,as opposed to who I really was
or what my actualviewpoints were.
(19:16):
So I became a mask of a person,and by the time I was 19,
I had no idea who I was.
I was like, I don't havea personality.
I don't have, you know,I don't know what
I'm specifically supposed to do.
I don't know why I feel so emptywhen I'm doing everything
that everybody wants me to do.
Why do I still feel this way?
(19:37):
And so it all came to a headwhen I was probably, you know,
it was in the summertimesometime, and I was in bed
and I was having, like the worstdepression episode of my life
where I couldn'tget out of bed for days.
I was just laying there,and I remember rolling over
and on my wall,I have a calendar
and it was pugsand donuts, my dad.
So it was like areally cute calendar.
(19:59):
But I rolled over and I saw thatit was Sunday and in my head
I was just like Sunday.
Okay, I have homework to do.
I have this to do.
I have everything to do.
And I kind of, I don't knowexactly what it was, if it was,
you know, the Holy Spiritor Our Lady or what it was,
but it was kind oflike this nudge of,
remember when you were youngerand I remember latching on
(20:22):
to this memory of just like usgoing to mass as a family,
and afterwards we'd get brunch.
But even though I didn'tlike mass
necessarily as a child, I likedfeeling like I had
some sort of foundation,like the pillars
were there at that time.
And I'm like, well, I've triedeverything else.
The last thing I canreally do is go to mass.
(20:42):
So I somehow gathered enoughcourage to get up,
put on the leastscandalous thing I owned,
because at that time I hada closet full of scandal and I
drove myself to mass.
Nobody knew.
My parents didn't know.
My friends didn't know.
My sister didn't know.
I just took myself to massand I walked in.
(21:03):
I sat in the back pewbecause that's where we sat
when I was a kid.
And I was almost like,immediately, like
sandwiched in by peoplewho were, like,
filing in for mass.
And I was just like,great, okay.
That's great.
Like, now I can't leaveif I want to, and I know God
kind of did that on purpose,you know, corralled me,
so to speak.
So I wouldn't I wouldn'tget up and leave.
(21:26):
But I decided I was like,you know, for my anxiety
telling me, like,you don't belong here.
And the devil obviously lyingto me, saying, like,
people are judging you,they know what you've done.
And someone couldsimply just, like, glance at me
and I'd be like, oh my gosh,they know what I did.
Like I am.
Oh no.
And so I was sandwiched incouldn't leave,
but I decided I'm like,I have to get out of here.
(21:46):
So during communion,when people get up
to go receive,I'm going to ditch
because, you know, that's that'sI've seen people do that
before too.
When I was a kid.
I'm like, people wouldjust receive
communion and leave,which is also not a good thing.
That's a different topic.
But, I was like,I'll just do that.
Nobody will notice.
Like, it'll be fine.
So eventually, you know, I'mlike just in my head
(22:06):
at this point, just thinkinglike I don't belong here, etc..
And eventuallyconsecration starts
and the priest lifts the hostfor transubstantiation
and everything freezes.
And I rememberkind of looking around
and being like, okay, well,this is a new low for my mental
illness, but, I guess I'm havinga psych moment and I remember
(22:28):
looking around,everything's frozen.
Nobody's talking.
The priest is frozen,but it's like Jesus is alive.
You know, in the Eucharistwhere there's
this pulsating light.
And I heard him say in my heart,he said, do you trust me?
And I was just like,okay, psychic break down,
like, let's go. Okay.
But I was just like, kind ofin a moment of disbelief,
(22:51):
I guess, because God had alwaysbeen something so distant to me,
something thatI just thought was
something that people imaginedto make themselves feel better
as opposed to an actual person,an actual, you know, loving God.
And I said,no, I don't trust you.
And I started listing offall the reasons why I didn't
(23:12):
introduced pornography.
My my depression,my mental illness.
All my friendsturned against me like,
why would you do this to me?
Why would you allow meto go through this?
And he kept asking.
He's like, well,do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
And I was like, no.
And I kept fighting him on this.
And, you know, at one point,the more I reflect on the story
and the more that I kind ofget back into that mindset,
(23:35):
I remember having a momentof clarity where I realized
God didn't leave me.
I left himand he had been trying
this entire timeto bring me back over the course
of eight years,and I had to take
some responsibilityfor the decisions I made, not
what was done to me,because I can't control that.
I was a victim in many ways,but now I'm an adult.
(23:59):
I have to take responsibilityfor what had happened to me
and how I respond to that now.
And in that moment,I understood that God didn't put
me through that.
You know, we live in afallen world where sin
run rampant, runs rampant,and there are other hurt
people who hurt people.
And that wasn't necessarilymy fault at all.
(24:21):
But at the same time now,it is like this behavior
that I've cultivated,is my fault because why
am I hurting myself even more?
Why am I giving my abuserthat satisfaction of, you know,
instead of healing and takingcare of myself?
Why am I torturing myself?
Why am I now becomingthe abuser of myself?
(24:41):
And I had that realizationand God just kept asking,
he's like, do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
And eventually I said, I'll try.
You know, and I always describethe hymn constantly asking over
and over again,I describe that as him
taking like a little chiseland a pick and kind of like
chipping away the stonecold parts of my heart,
because I had builtso many walls around my heart
(25:02):
at that point, from the rumorsthat were spread to people
who broke up with me,who just used me for, you know,
sexual gratification,whatever it might be.
And, he, he cracked through.
And so I after that, I stayedafter consecration, of course.
And I just had like,this moment of
(25:22):
weight being lifted offmy shoulders.
But then I also felt a differenttype of weight.
I felt pressure, like a hugfrom a mother,
a very maternal hugfrom Our Lady
saying like, you did it,you you're back.
Like you.
Finally you had to go throughwhat you had to go through.
But you're here.
And my son, once you backand now you're back.
(25:45):
And so our lady went.
And I didn't realize this until,you know, after my conversion.
But when?
A couple weeks before my Miawas a couple months.
I don't really remember,but before my reversion,
I lost my childhood rosary.
When we left the church,I lost my childhood rosary.
I had no idea where it went.
Didn't know, where it was like Iit was a beautiful
(26:08):
amber colored rosarywhich I have on my desk
over there, butno idea where it went.
Just disappeared.
And then a couple weeksbefore my reversion,
I found it on my dresserand I told my mom, like,
oh my gosh, you foundyou found my rosary.
Like, this is great.
And it didn't reallymean anything to me,
but it was like, you know,symbolic and nostalgic
and whatever.
And she was just like,no, I didn't.
And I was like, oh, well, okay.
(26:30):
Well, it just showedup on my desk, so I don't
like somebodyhad to put it there
and nobody put it there.
So I was like,well, that's weird,
but whatever.
So I hung it up on my walland I was just like,
I'll just put that there.
And then, yeah, two weeks laterI had my reversion.
So I definitely thinkit was Our Lady, you know,
giving me a littlea little nudge
and being like, hey,you know, remember the rosary.
(26:52):
Remember, my son loves you.
Remember, you know,these important things.
And after I had my reversion,I went to my car.
And people usually havelike a breakdown, like they cry,
I started laughing,I had joy that
I had not felt in overalmost a decade.
An 11 year old depressed like.
Unfortunately, it'snot that unusual these days
(27:12):
for kids to be depressed.
But at that time, I mean,I hadn't felt joy or happiness
really in almost eight years,and it was just such a relief.
And in that moment, I was like,I kind of had to stop laughing.
And I was just like, wait,either I'm all in or I'm not.
Either I go back to my old ways,either I completely like,
(27:33):
do this or I don't.
It's I can't do this halfway.
I can't live a double life.
I'm either completely in thisfor God or I'm not.
And I have to makethat decision right now.
And I reflected on my life.
I went through everythingthat had happened
when I was youngerand everything, and I was like,
yeah, we're going to gothe other way.
I'm going to go follow God now.
(27:53):
And that's what startedall of this.
Yeah.
So that's kind of likethe reversion story,
I guess. You.
Wow, that is incredible.
Oh, my gosh, that is abeautiful story.
A beautiful testimonyto the power of our Holy Father.
I just wow, I am so takenback by your story.
And I think a lot ofour listeners can relate
(28:15):
to the journeythat you've been on,
because unfortunately,it's more common
than we like to admit.
You know, the details might beslightly different,
but so many young womenreally end up in that space
that you were in and walk awayfrom the faith.
We see a lot of young peopleturning from the faith.
And, we also hearthe testimonies of people
who have come backand found that.
(28:36):
So I justI'm so grateful for you
sharing that.
Thank youfor your vulnerability.
Thank you.
Yeah. You.
No, I'm happy to share.
You've really builtyour ministry around your
your your reversionand your your stories.
So talk to us a little bitabout some of the work
that you're doing right nowonline and in other ways
to support,people in your community
(28:57):
and to help them growin their faith as well.
Yeah, I think communityis so important.
And, you know, we're in themiddle of moving right now,
so everything's a little bitall over the place.
But I will say thatone of the things
I've really been trying to dowhen I kind of had a moment, in
prayer, is whenI was in adoration
and I was just like, Lord,I don't know where to take this
(29:19):
anymore.
Like, I've alreadyshared my story so many times.
I've already sharedwhat I've gone through
and how to, you know, what morecan I bring to this?
And if this is theend of the ministry,
how do I go about that?
Like, what do I do about that?
And he was like,no, you're not done yet.
Sorry.
I know you probably want to be,but you're not.
He's just like,mainly what I felt was
(29:42):
there is a need formy generation to know how
to navigate this life.
There are tonsof people out there
who are talking abouttheir own stories,
which is great.
And there are tonsof people out there
talking about apologeticsand how to defend the faith,
which is great, and allof that's important.
(30:03):
But what about thoseweird niche situations?
What about thoseyoung adult situations
that you find yourself in thatnobody can really understand
because they're specific to you?
And so I have somethingcalled the help segment,
where people email me inabout their specific situations
and I can share,you know, my experience.
(30:26):
But then I also havea spiritual director
who is wonderfuland has given me so much advice
on on how to help these people.
And I get information frompriests on everything on
how to address these situations.
And so that's somethingthat I've really been
trying to lean more into, iswhat is saturating the,
(30:46):
I guess, the secular cultureright now,
and how is that bleedinginto Catholicism?
And, you know,the young Catholics
that are trying to navigatethe secular world.
I have a podcast called ACatholics Perspective,
and my little slogan is,all about a young Catholic
trying to survivein a secular world.
And so I'm like, I really needto take that more seriously
(31:08):
and look into what's going onright now online, offline,
in the dating pool, but alsoin personal lives.
You know, I think a lot of stuffis similar but under
different circumstances,because when I was 11,
social mediawasn't really a thing.
And now it is, so the youngergeneration are being raised
(31:30):
on social media and what is thatcosting them spiritually but
also mentally?
And how can they handle that?
Because when you're a kid,you think your parents know
what's best for you.
And, you know,I assume most parents
do try their best.
And, but a lot of parentsdo fall short.
And it's like, well, how do wenavigate these things
that our parents don't knowhow to deal with and or don't
(31:53):
even know about?
And I'm hoping that the ministryand some videos
and some podcaststhat I'm putting out there
will help these specificniche situations in dating.
It's like, well, whatif I'm dating, you know, a guy
and he's lukewarm Catholic, but,you know, he says he's
going to get betteror but he isn't.
(32:14):
Just like very niche situations.
I'm can't think ofanything off the top of my head
because they're sospecific sometimes.
But I'm really trying to helpthe younger generation.
I've babysat for almostfor one family
for almost ten yearsat this point, and,
I've watched them grow up.
I've seen how social mediahas affected them,
how Covid affected themwhen they were younger,
(32:36):
and you know, the strugglesthat they're going through.
I'm like, you should not knowabout any of this
as a nine year old,or you shouldn't
be going through thisas a nine year old.
One of the one of the girls,she often writes on random
pieces of paperthroughout the house.
And I came acrossa piece of paper
and she's at this point,she was probably,
(33:00):
I want to say, yeah,maybe 9 or 10.
And she basically talkedabout how she longed
for a simpler time,how she longed for a time
when her parents didn'thave high expectations.
She's nine, didn't have highexpectations of her.
She longed for a time when hermom used to brush her hair,
and her dadused to sit on the couch
with her and watch moviesand not have any
(33:20):
expectations of her,and it makes her sad and I was
and I read thisand I was just like,
okay, there is a problem here.
Like she was alreadyfeeling nostalgic
and she's nine.
She's not even a teen yet.
She's not even in double digits.
And I'm like, what is going on?
So I'm really, really tryingto reach the younger kids
(33:41):
who are being fedall this, you know,
just secular crap that they're,you know, that they should
be introduced to pornography,that sex doesn't mean anything,
that they can sell their bodiesonline, that this is a
normal type of relationship.
Because, yeah, I see ita lot and it's really,
really sad.
I think you bring upa really good point, too,
(34:02):
because we've seensome studies recently
that are kind of showingthe younger generation
almost trending back, backto like non-smart
phones, flip phones, you know,they want to wait.
I don't want to be online.
I want to be in real life.
And so we are seeinglittle incremental movements
among the young peoplebecause I think they sense
(34:22):
something's not right.
And they long for somethingthat maybe they've
never even experiencedbecause their whole life
technology has been there.
But they they sensethat technology
has driven them awayfrom what is better
and what is good.
And ultimately,they're really seeking
a deeper relationshipwith our Lord.
But, you know, in communityin connection with real human.
(34:42):
So I'm glad to seethere's sparks of hope out there
that this generationis waking up and seeing that.
And your story about the girlwriting the note,
I think is symbolicto that as well,
because we're hearingthose kind of stories
all the time.
So there's anawakening happening,
and I'm excited to see thatbecause I think technology with
it does have its good, moments.
(35:03):
And, you know, we use it to havethese podcast conversations
and to get the word outabout your ministry.
But there are some evil,dark things happening in the
technological space.
And pornographyis one of those things,
and it's poisoningour young people.
So I just I'm gratefulthat you shared that story.
And I love how you're reallytaking people's stories
at an individual levelbecause it shows them
(35:26):
I'm seen, I'm heard,and then you can direct them,
to really where the answers lie,which is in God's Word
and in his loving support.
So I love that. Theo.
I bet you've got questions.
I didn't mean to jump in there.
No, no, I, I yeah,you everything you said
was right.
I think, Amber,one of the things that
I, we admire about youis your willingness
(35:47):
to kind of takeon all the topics.
There hasn't been any,sacred cows or anything.
You seem to have void obviously.
Pornography. Right.
You're. Yeah, yeah.
And, promoted us.
So. So you're here.
But even dating modesty,you know, the occult,
I mean, nothing from whatI've seen in your videos.
So has has seemedto be off the table.
(36:09):
You kind of already answeredone of the questions in my mind.
I love your, kind of direction.
You're goingwhere you want to answer
specific things.
I was wonderingif there's anything
that seems to kind ofcome up more regularly.
Or, like, you know, any trendsyou've noticed in these niche
questions, but, you know,now they're also very specific.
But, I guess I want to combinetwo kind of things
(36:31):
into one here.
I want to, ask maybe what aresome of the ways of handling
certain topics that you foundto be effective?
And then since you'rewanting to appeal to the
younger generation, as do we,we tend to do that a lot by
getting to the parents.
So what do you thinkparents need to,
(36:52):
need need to knowto kind of be able to do
what you're doingfor their kids,
if that all makes sense.
Yeah, I think especially withthe younger generation,
the number one thing that I getis about friendships
and about how they've realizedthat they're, you know,
their faith is reallyimportant to them,
(37:12):
but their friends have takena completely detour route.
And these are peoplewho have been friends for years
and years and years.
But it's like, well,what do I do with my friends
becoming hostile towardsmy faith?
We've been friends for years,but all of a sudden it's
just this 160and I'm heartbroken and I don't
know what to do.
And it reallydoes have to do a lot
with relationshipsand whether that's, you know,
(37:33):
dating or friendships.
But I've noticed thatthere is a huge influx
of also people just not knowinghow to interact with each other
properly.
We've lost the artof communication.
We've lost the art of argument.
You know, where it's likean argument is always this
negative thing nowadays.
But in the old days, like,you could argue with someone
(37:54):
where it's like you could havediffering opinions,
still respect each otherand still be able to move on
and be friends after it.
It's not this I'm cuttingmy family off for Thanksgiving.
It's, you know, that wehave these days.
So I definitely see a lot of it.
Most people, with relationships,whether that's
parent relationshipwhere the child
(38:15):
wants to convert, the parentwants to kick them out,
or, you know,whatever it might be.
That's a huge oneright now, actually.
Or it might be,you know, dating, like,
how do I find somebodyin this world where it's like,
sometimes Catholicsaren't even Catholic?
They say they are, but they'renot sometimes, and they're fine
with sex outside of marriageor they're fine doing,
(38:36):
you know, pushing the boundariesa little bit.
And then of course, friendshipswhere, like, we had all this
stuff in common.
I started taking my faithmore seriously.
They did it.
And now it feels like, you know,they're my enemy.
So those are like, the top onesthat I've been seeing
as relationships.
And for parents, I mean,there is a lot going on.
(38:58):
And I thinkthe most important thing
that I tell parentsis that if you don't
teach your kids the world well,and that goes for anything
that can go for sex,that can go for virtue,
that can go for jobsand your worth.
And for me, I never hadthe sex talk.
I never had you know, anyI, I figured all of this out
(39:19):
on my own.
I also taught myselfhow to read and write.
So I was very much so.
My parents don't knowwhat they're talking about.
I'm going to go offon my own and, you know, find
my own answersbecause I was just
raised in that mindsetwhere it's like
fend for yourself kind of thing.
You know, you have tofigure it out for yourself.
And so I did, and I gotI got deep in a lot of trouble
(39:44):
because I didn't have guidance.
I didn't have the bumperskeeping me from falling into,
you know, the dangerousof the world.
And the only bumpers I had werethe Catholic Church, though
I didn't know it at the time,and when those were taken away,
I was just free to be a gutterball, basically.
And that's what happened.
And so I tell parents, I'm like,do not be afraid of these hard
(40:05):
conversations.
You are the parent.
You have a dutyto protect your child,
and you have a dutyto protect them
online and offline.
And so you have to be able tohave these hard
conversations with them.
And whether or not they take itin the moment,
they will hopefully,when they're older, understand,
(40:27):
or when they're facedwith a situation like this.
I think the worst thingthat happened was, for me,
at least in these situations,is that I was blamed,
a lot for what happened.
It's like, well, you should haveknown better.
You should have this, thisand that, whatever.
And so instead of being like,oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
(40:47):
that happenedto you, like, this is, you know,
we'll we'll do somethingabout this or,
you know, instead of being the.
Yeah, I guesshaving a safe space
to be able to tellan adult, any adult,
what was happeningbehind the scenes.
I did not have that.
I didn't have oneadult in my life who I felt like
(41:08):
I could go to and be like,this is happening to me.
What do I do?
Everybody kind ofjust brushed me off
or I was blamed for it.
So I implore parentsto have patience
with their children to not gointo it, judge,
like judging them or, you know,yelling at them
(41:29):
or anything, like, of coursethere needs to be a discussion,
but it, you know,I think parents can become
very emotional when they learntheir child's hurt.
And I think it can comefrom a very good place.
But the child needs, support.
They need discussion,they need an open space,
(41:49):
not they don't needsometimes the fact
that you know thatsomething's bad
is punishment enough.
My husband and I talk about thisall the time.
It's like sometimes just the actof doing something and coming
to your parent,knowing that you've done
something wrong and telling themyou've done something wrong
is punishment enough.
And what that child really needsis, is a hug, you know?
(42:09):
I mean, I could have been at it.
I could have benefitedfrom a hug, like, so many times
as a child.
So I would say to parents,you know, have patience with
your child for real.
That's good advice.
I think that's really important.
I know as, a mom myself,my daughter's 26 now,
and the best part of herbeing at that age is
we can reflect on her journeysas a young person
(42:32):
because technologycame out when she was,
I think maybe inlike late middle school,
and she didn'tget a phone right away.
And she was so bitter towards usbecause we wouldn't
let her have technology.
And now that she's older,she's like, thank you.
You like thank youfor being that parent
and sticking it out.
Even though I saidI didn't like you guys,
you were so mean.
You know, all these thingsbecause she knows now
(42:54):
the dangers that are there.
And, you know, toall of our parents out
there, it's not easy.
I understand,like keeping up with
what's happeningin the technology space or,
you know, the cyberbullying,the sexting, all the things
that happened that we didn'thave access to as young people.
We don't understandthem. It's hard.
But just becausesomething's hard doesn't
(43:14):
give us the rightto not do our very best
to figure it out and to be therefor our children.
So, you know, let's do better.
Parents, I mean, we canthere's tools like
Covenant Eyes.
Protect Young Eyesis a great organization
that keeps you in tuned.
There's people we canwe can actually
refer our children to listen topeople like Amber, you know,
(43:35):
healthy podcast and YouTubeand TikTok videos, people
that we wantour children to emulate.
But we have to be engaged.
We need to know whoour children are listening to.
Because, Amber, you're a great,amazing person.
Thank you.
But there are a lot of badactors out there.
There are people who claim to bein the faith
and are misdirectingour young people, you know, or
(43:56):
just have bad theologyand they don't even know it.
We have to bewe have to know who
our children are listening toand following.
You know, in my day,it was my parents
who needed to payattention to the music
I was listening to.
But nowadays it'swho are your kids listening to
on podcasts and YouTubeand TikTok
and all the rest, right?
If you hold the linewhile they're teenagers.
My, my, I wasI was late to the game
(44:16):
with the phones to okay,my parents made sure I didn't
and I didn't always like.
And I noticed like,oh, it's not like
everybody else,but you hold the line.
And one thing that Karen and Ican witness to is that your,
your kids willstay in relationship with you
as they're older, right.
You have a great relationshipwith your daughter.
I have a great relationship withmy parents.
Now that I'm 31,it pays dividends long term.
(44:37):
Yeah, it's really hardin the beginning, but
I think the parents who cave,they realize like, oh no, I've
made a mistake, you know, andthe parents who don't cave
and they give their kids,you know, the freedom
to feel their feelings,you know, to be upset
within reason.
Because sometimes kidsthese days can go
a little crazy, No.
(44:58):
Matter what.
But, you know, you have to,you definitely have to
walk them through thisand teenagers
are emotional, like,they're going to
they're going totry and guilt you.
They're going to try.
Because in that moment,it feels so real.
It really does to feel left out,to not have a phone,
to not be able to doall these other things
(45:18):
your friends are doing.
But then, you know,you kind of look at it.
And when I was kind oftalking to the girls that, I
babysat for, I was ten years,the oldest got a
phone and her companycompletely changed.
Her entire demeanorhas completely changed.
And I talk to the youngersiblings, and I was like,
do you see, like,what technology and what social
(45:41):
media can do?
And they're just like, yeah,we miss our sister.
Like, I don't knowwhat happened.
Like all of a suddenshe's obsessed
with how she looks.
She's on her phone all the time.
She's not talking to us.
She's more moody.
And so I've had talks with,you know,
the oldest one as well.
And she just breaks downall the time.
(46:02):
Just about like.
I don't know why this person'snot texting me back.
I don't know if I did something.
Is this okay to post likeand and, you know, their parents
are very similar to whatI had growing up,
you know, with,like, adult figures
where it's like they don't feelsafe going to them. So
it's like, it's unfortunatebecause, you know,
(46:24):
they build these wallsand it just becomes
a bigger problem, you know?
And I do what I can to makethe parents aware,
because that ismy responsibility.
But, you know,you can't do anything
if the parents don'tdo anything.
I'm just the babysitter.
Yeah, I think, too,for parents out there,
that might be feelinga little bit like, wow, this is
this is a lot.
(46:44):
You know, I don't know howto do all this.
The thing is, is thatwe are going to make mistakes.
But if we canactually just humbly
go to our kids when we knowthat we have let them down,
or maybe we weren't therewhen we should have been there.
I mean that the best parentsare going to fail in some way,
and just admittingthat to your children
and letting them know,like, you know,
I don't know everything.
(47:05):
And sometimes I make mistakesand I think I let you down
and I'm sorry.
And asking their forgivenessreally can go far to building
trust with your kids,because I know as a mom
I made mistakes.
And really,when you humble yourself
and you admit those and you justask them for,
you know, some graceand let them know that we're on
this journey togetherand I'm learning
as I go as well.
I think that can go really far.
(47:26):
So if you're a parent that maybedid give the phone and maybe
have some regrets there, there'sstill a way forward.
You know, you can stillgo to your child and be like,
maybe we made a littlebit of a mistake here.
I want to kind of walk this backand I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if this is harmedyou in any way.
And I want to make this right,and I'm here for you.
And, you know, you mentionedjust just a hug.
Sometimes a hug can really goa long ways, right?
(47:48):
It really.
Can. Yeah, absolutely.
Well, we're comingto the end of today's
episode, Amber.
And I want to make surethat all of our listeners
can get connectedwith you and find you in all
your social spacesso that they can
follow your work.
So where can they goto learn more? Yeah.
So I have a YouTube channel,which is where I upload
a lot of videosabout what's going on.
(48:08):
For young adultsin the secular world,
I try to take like a funnyspin on it too.
So it's really entertainingand also, you know, informative.
So it can keep the,you know, Gen Alpha's
attention span in there,because my dad
is not very good either,but I get entertained
when I edit them.
So I'm like, this is good.
This is a good one.
And then I also have apodcast called
A Catholics Perspective.
(48:29):
And you can basically follow meon any social media platform
I'm on, Instagram, X,Facebook, LinkedIn,
for some reason.
And yeah.
Awesome. All right.
Well that's awesome.
We'll put allthose links in the show
notes for our listenersthat might be at the gym
or driving.
We know how hard that isto try to type that in
while you're doingsomething else.
So no worries there.
We've got your back.
(48:50):
Well, Theo, thanks againfor joining us today.
I hope that you founda lot of value
in today's conversation.
I know I did.
I definitelyI definitely did too.
It was great to get connectedwith the religious hippie and,
hear about this.
And, you know, I'm a parentof a three year old.
Right.
So I have, a lot to,to, to learn.
So I've definitelyhad some things I can, you know,
(49:10):
take back even tomy own parenting, but also,
yeah, our our, our generation.
Amber and I are kind ofin the same generation,
so we got, a lot of work to do,evangelizing, the fellow members
of our generation, our fellowCatholics, and, and, yeah,
we're just great to have youon the podcast.
Amber, thank youfor promoting us.
(49:31):
Thank you for sharingthe good word and speaking
the word of truth into all ofthese different topics,
these topics that are soon the ground and involved
with people's lives.
Just thanks for everythingyou're doing, and it's an honor
to have you on todayand to be connected with you
and do the work alongside you.
So thanks so much. Yes.
Thank you.
I really appreciate it.
And thank you for all the workthat you guys are doing as well,
because our generation needs itand it's so important.
(49:53):
So thank you.
I really appreciate it.
Well, thank youand thanks to all
of our listeners for tuning into this episode
of The Covenant Eyes Podcast.
We'll see you next time.
Take care. God bless.
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