November 12, 2025 • 30 mins
When trust is broken, can a marriage truly be restored?
In this powerful episode of the Covenant Eyes Podcast, host Karen Potter sits down with Jenny Solomon, author of Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Broken Trust, to share how faith, honesty, and grace brought new life to her marriage.
Jenny opens up about walking through pain, rebuilding trust, and finding peace through Christ-centered healing. Together, Karen and Jenny talk about:
✅ What emotional betrayal feels like for a spouse
✅ How the church can lovingly support struggling couples
✅ The role of lament and prayer in real recovery
✅ Setting healthy boundaries while extending grace
✅ Practical tools for growth, like the Victory App and Covenant Eyes accountability
If you or someone you love is walking through relational pain, this episode will offer biblical hope, wisdom, and encouragement for the journey toward restoration.
📘 Resources Mentioned:
• Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have Been Hurt by Broken Trust – by Jenny Solomon
• Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Seeking Renewal – by Curtis Solomon
• Free Victory App Course: Lament in Marriage by Jenny Solomon → https://victory.covenanteyes.com/learning/courses?categoryId=7
Learn more: https://www.covenanteyes.com
🎧 Listen & Subscribe:
Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | wherever you get your podcasts
#CovenantEyesPodcast #MarriageHealing #FaithAndRestoration #ChristianMarriage #ReclaimYourMarriage #VictoryApp #JennySolomon #KarenPotter #MarriageTrust #RelationshipHealing #FaithJourney #christianpodcast
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome & Introduction – Meet Jenny Solomon
00:52 Jenny’s Story: Marriage, Ministry, and Renewal
02:18 Writing Reclaim Your Marriage & Redeem Your Marriage
04:42 When Trust Is Broken in Marriage
06:27 The Church’s Role in Supporting Hurting Couples
08:42 Overcoming Isolation and Finding Hope
10:35 Why the Church Needs to Talk About Hidden Struggles
12:23 Balancing Grace with Healthy Boundaries
15:08 What Real Repentance Looks Like
17:40 Healing Takes Time – A Process of Grace
19:13 The Power of Accountability and Lament
22:09 When Your Spouse Isn’t Ready to Change
25:23 Finding Peace & Support Through the Victory App
27:31 Encouragement and Hope for Restoration
29:30 Closing Thoughts & Next Steps
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:06):
Welcome back tothe Covenant Eyes
podcast, everybody.
It is so good to have youback with us.
We have got a great show for youtoday.
We've got Jenny Solomonjoining us.
She is a guest bloggerand also an author
of a victory course.
And if you haven't checked outour victory app, you need to
check it out.
We have got coursesfor everyone in there.
(00:26):
A lot of them are freeand all of them are available
to everybody by using the linkin the show notes.
So make sure you check that out.
Our guest today, Jenny,actually holds
a Bachelor of Artsin philosophy, and religion
from the College of Ozarks.
She attendedthe Southern Baptist
Theological Seminaryand she's the author
of an amazing book calledReclaim Your Marriage
(00:49):
Grace for WivesWho Have Been Hurt
by Pornography.
She's a freelancewriter, a guest blogger,
and the co-founderof Solomon Soul Care.
She lives in her, in Kentucky,where I met, with her
husband, Curtis, and two sons.
And we are so gratefulto have you joining us.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Karen, it's great to bewith you today.
(01:09):
Yeah.
So for thosethat are not familiar
with some of the courseworkthat you've done
in the victory appor even the blogs
that you've done for usover the years, can you share
a little bit about yourpersonal journey and what led
you to write this book?
Reclaim your Marriage?
Yes, absolutely.
So my husbandand I met in seminary,
and he struggledwith pornography
(01:29):
for several yearsin our marriage, and we found
at that time we've been married.
Now I should back up.
We've been married nowfor almost 22 years.
And resolutions.
Thank you so much.
It's yes, one of thesweetest gifts the Lord has ever
given me is Curtis.
But we struggled.
He struggled for many yearswith pornography,
and especially early onin our marriage, we weren't
(01:50):
sure what to do.
We weren't sure who to talk to.
We weren't sure what stepswe needed to take to help him
with that struggle.
And so coming to a pointin our marriage where there was
there's been a lot of growth,repentance and change in him.
And we came to a pointwhere we really thought
that it would bepleasing to the Lord to write
about the experiencethat we had.
(02:11):
And so one of the best partsabout it was I was able
to write my bookfrom the perspective of a wife
who had experienced suffering.
And then he also wrotea companion book for Husbands
Who Are Struggling,and it is called
Redeem Your MarriageHope for Husbands Who Have Hurt
Through pornography.
So that's one of thebeautiful things.
If anyone's listening today,there is an option.
(02:33):
You can certainly readthis book standalone,
but there's also an option toto work through them together.
That is amazing.
And I know thatwe have listeners
that are spouses,we have listeners
that are strugglingwith pornography and often
the hardest partis the hurt in the pain
that we caused one another.
And how do we address that?
So I think these books would bea really great resource
(02:54):
for our listeners to check out.
So as you were writingthis book, you know,
obviously there's a lotthat goes into that and sharing
your personal testimonyand the story of redemption
that you and yourhusband experienced, there
probably were some hardparts to that.
So talk to us a little bitabout writing the book
and how that helped yougrow personally and spiritually
(03:15):
together as a couple,and then both
individually as well.
I think the hardest thingabout writing the books was
putting into words aspects ofthe experience that I had felt,
but never fully articulated.
And that certainlywasn't the case
with the entire book.
But there were aspects,especially that had to do
with body image, that I justhad never really put into words
(03:39):
and even really sharedwith Curtis.
And so having the chanceto do that and to talk through
with him some of the waysthat his passion had affected
me was a really beautifulopportunity
in our marriage for usto just be broken together.
And, and I thinkwhat we experienced
and discovered in that was thebeauty of lament.
(03:59):
That lament allows a personwho has been sinned
against to go to the Lord,but it also allows a person
who has sinned to go to the Lordand to say, like, I'm actually
really hurting over,over the sins that I have caused
other people.
And and so that journey for us,even though it was painful,
was really one of the mostbeautiful things that came
(04:20):
out of the bookfor us personally.
That is so good.
So as you think about this issueof pornography
and how it affectswomen or spouses,
emotionally, spirituallyand relationally,
can you talk to us a little bitabout what that journey is like
and what that experienceis like for the the wife or,
or a spouse in general?
(04:42):
Yeah.
So betrayal is is the heartof it, right?
When someone in your life,there's a huge breach of trust.
And sexual fidelity is one ofthe cornerstones
of a healthy marriage.
And so when that trustis broken, the person
who experiences that hurt,that betrayal has, there's just
(05:03):
such a large gamut of emotions.
I think you can feel hopeless,this person, they're never
going to change if particularlyif this has been an
ongoing struggle, you know,will this ever get better?
How can I ever trustthis person again?
You can be angry at the personyou can be angry at.
God.
God, why are you allowing thisto happen to me?
They can certainlyeven turn inward
(05:24):
and say like, well, maybe I'mpart of the problem,
which isn't the truth.
I think that's a lie.
We really have to fight.
But it's easyto start to believe
the lie that maybe, maybe I'vecaused this struggle,
or there's somethingI could have done differently
to make my husband not strugglewith pornography, which I just,
in the book, try to assure womenover and over again
that his sin is 100%his responsibility.
(05:46):
Because I don't want womenwho are already hurting to bear
any kind of unnecessary or falseguilt over that.
That's a really good point.
And I know that, over the yearsI've been here
with Covenant Eyesfor about eight years
and we've talked toso many different women
that have gone through this,this challenge
in their marriage.
And one of the the thingsthat I have found most troubling
(06:08):
is that from time to time,we'll hear, where church
leaders or othersthat are offering wisdom
and insight into their lives,offering them not good advice,
you know, and saying there's,you know, a role that the woman
plays in thisand that she should do more or,
you know, maybe just have sexmore, dress nicer.
All these things we have heardthose hurtful comments
(06:30):
come from,people in their lives.
How does that impact a spouse?
And did you haveanyone in your life
speaking thosekind of things at all,
or were you,certainly surrounded by people
with good wisdom thathelped you through this?
The tricky part for us isthat we really just didn't have
for many years,especially early on.
(06:51):
We didn't have anyonespeaking into it, or if we
tried to get help,we would talk to someone
a few times.
And we certainly we gotcompassionate care.
There was no onespeaking lies to me,
that it was morejust we really don't have time
to deal with this. And,and so I think after going
to a few different peopleand asking for help
and having people not beparticularly interested
(07:13):
in helping, it just felt like,well, maybe this is something
we just have to dealwith on our own
instead of realizing,no, really, this is a place
the church should be involved.
And I appreciate what you said,because believing a lie
that I've convinced myselfof is one thing,
but having someone speaking liesto you and saying
saying to a wife,or if it's a husband
(07:35):
whose wife is committingyou know,
looking at pornography,I don't want to rule that out.
That certainly can be a case.
But the personthat's being hurt, yes.
If you are in a church or havepeople in your life
who who claim to be Christians,who are saying that your body is
part of the problem,like you said, like
if you just dress niceror lost a few pounds,
or if they're saying to youthat if you were just
(07:56):
having more sex or better sexwith your spouse,
I would say to youthat you are not in a church
that understands the scriptures,and I would look for a new place
to worship, because those thingsare certainly not true.
And to have someone in your lifewho is supposed to be
shepherding your souland teaching you
about what it means to knowand follow the Lord.
If they're sayingthose things to you,
(08:17):
they are not.
They're not speakingthe truth to you.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Many wives that are, you know,in this position and husbands
can be in this position as well.
I mean, now we know that 40 over40% of Christian
women are strugglingwith pornography.
So this can be either spouse.
But for today, we're goingto kind of focus
(08:37):
in on the women.
When wives feel aregoing through this,
they feel so isolated.
And there is a levelof feeling shame, you know,
what would you say to the womenthat are listening
to this podcastwho might be struggling
with those feelingsand feel alone in this battle?
I'm so glad you said that,because it is such a lonely,
isolating place to be.
(08:57):
And it makes sensebecause sexuality
is not somethingwe talk about a lot,
and it's not somethingthat we share
with a lot of people.
You know, it'sthat a private moment
between you and your spouse.
And so it's hard to share that.
But I will say thatif you can find someone
who understandsthe scriptures, loves
the Lord, and is willing to talkthrough this issue with you,
(09:20):
this is anotherone of the reasons
that I wrote this book,because I realized
that there arepeople in the church who care
very much, and they want to seeother believers growing,
and they want to seemarriages flourishing,
and they might not knowexactly how to help.
And so I tried to createa resource that offers content
where there are topicsthat are going
(09:41):
to be relevant to youand your suffering.
And then at the end,there are questions and
additional resources.
So you could read this bookalongside someone else and then
not only hopefullyby the end of it,
they would understandyour struggle
and understand helpyou understand, like
what are the next stepsyou can take together
to continue to grow?
I just my desire in writingthis book is to help,
(10:01):
to bring this struggle outinto the light of community.
Appropriate community.
Not that everyone needs to know,but that you need
to have a few wisepeople in your life
who really know you and arespeaking into this difficulty.
That is so good,and you know it is.
It is a growing trend.
We're seeing more churchesfind ways to integrate
talking about someof these issues,
(10:23):
and that's a positive.
I mean, we have a long waysto go though,
because as a whole,the big C church is not
addressing these issues.
And we often say,you know, well, you know, it's
just kind of uncomfortableor maybe it's a mixed audience.
There's children in the,you know, in the church.
And we don't want to offend.
But the problem is, is thatculture is constantly giving us
message messages of whattheir view on sex and sexuality
(10:47):
is all the time.
And so the church really doesneed to be a beacon of hope,
I believe, to this topic,and I'm really a support system
for people going through this.
Would you agree with that?
Oh, I absolutely agree with you.
I think thatthe church can find ways to care
for people through,whether that's through
small groups or whatI would encourage.
(11:08):
So if someone today tells meI'm struggling,
I don't know what to do.
What I would say to themis get a copy of my book
and take it tosomeone at your church
that you trust.
Maybe that's a Sunday schoolor community group leader.
Maybe that'sone of your pastors.
Maybe that's justan older Christian that you've
watched them in their marriage,and you've seen this couple
has a lot of tendernesstoward each other,
(11:29):
like they really seemto care for
and respect one another.
And, I think that's agood starting place.
But I also think forsomeone maybe who's listening
and thinking,what can the church do?
I would just encourageyou if you're a pastor,
to have resourceslike this available
and talk about itfrom the pulpit in inappropriate
ways, you know, you can.
It's our pastor does a great jobof talking
(11:51):
about difficult topics in a waythat if there's a child
in the room, it's it's going tokind of skim over their heads.
You know, I think that's that'sone of the best gifts
you can give.
And then also let peoplein your church know, hey,
if you've struggled in this areaand if you've had some victory,
we would love to hearhow you're doing now.
And we would love to be ableto connect you
with younger coupleswho you can care for
(12:13):
and walk with, and justhaving those channels
of communication openso that people know
that they can shareand they'll be received
and not not turned awaywith that struggle.
Absolutely.
That is so good.
In the book, you talk a lotabout Grace.
And, you know, I want to talka little bit about how wives
can extend gracewhile also setting
(12:33):
healthy boundaries,because that can be such a hard
and tricky line to walk there,because you do need
healthy boundariesas you're going through the
betrayal trauma.
But we also doneed to extend grace
because that isa, you know, a gift
that's freely given to us.
And who are we to withholdthat from?
Not to others.
Yeah, that's that'ssuch a good point.
(12:53):
And so my starting pointfor thinking about
that is when we lookin the book of acts, we see that
our belief in Jesus, who JesusChrist is in our repentance,
are really closelylinked together.
And so I think keeping that linkand not trying
to separate those twoout into two separate areas
is really helpfulin this situation.
(13:13):
So I would say to wife,we want to be merciful,
we want to extend forgiveness,but we also want to help
our spouse understandthat those things come.
A heart that wants to receiveforgiveness will also be a heart
that desires to repent.
And so then I think helping themto maybe establish
(13:35):
like what wouldrepentance look like?
And you can talk through thatwith your spouse.
You can find another person,maybe like a counselor
can talk that through.
So some of thethings that come to
my mind would be, do you okay,you're coming to me.
You're saying, you know,I want forgiveness.
I have confession, okay?
I would say like, I wantI want to extend
(13:56):
forgiveness to you,but I also like
that's a slow process.
I want to see from youthat there
are actions on your partthat, that indicate
that you really mean it.
So do you haveaccountability software?
Are you willing tohave other people email
that to other people?
I love the accountability systemthat Covenant Eyes offers.
Are you willing to have someonefrom our church
(14:17):
in spiritual leadership?
Someone who is from.
That's another believer.
That's a friend.
Maybe me,if the wife wants to be
in on that.
I'm a huge fan of that.
That doesn't workfor every couple.
So that's somethingyou could think through.
But would you be willingto have me receive those emails
just to see what your onlineactivity looks like?
Would you be willingto take a break
from social media?
Maybe social mediahas been a place that's been
(14:39):
a temptation for you.
Do you have maybe a jobwhere you're interacting really
regularly online,on social media?
Would you be even willingto find a new career path?
I just thinkwhen Scripture talks about that
radical repentancewhere we cut off an arm
or we pluck out an eye,I would want to hear
from this person that that theyreally mean it, and that
pleasing the Lord ismore important to them
(15:01):
than than their privacy,or than this career or job
that they like right now.
And then I thinkonce you're seeing that
and if you're seeing a heartthat's humble and a heart
that's open and a heart like nota secretive person,
there are ways that you canwatch over time and just see
that a personreally is indicating they want
(15:21):
they're not perfect,they're going to still struggle,
but they're wanting toto inch towards Jesus.
And and their heart is humbleand desires to worship him.
And then I think that'sthe place where we say, okay,
like I do want to extend mercy.
I have been hurt,but I see the work
that you're putting in.
I see that you really dowant to repent of this.
(15:41):
And so, yes, I want toextend forgiveness.
But I think maybe where weget it wrong sometimes is
we think that forgiveness isjust a simple like,
yeah, I forgive you.
And then we move onwithout saying, like,
let's, let's walk throughthis slowly.
Let's put a pause here.
And let's see if you're willingto do the things it takes.
That is some great wisdom.
(16:03):
And you know as people thinkabout the journey
and I think it'sprobably different
for everybody.
But it is a processand it does take time.
Often you know we livein a world of instant
gratification.
We want quick fixes.
But this is somethingthat will take some work
and some time.
Of course the Lord can domiraculous things in
a, you know, blink of an eye,but most of us have to walk out
(16:26):
that process.
Can you talk to us a little bitabout the journey itself?
I mean, foryou and your husband,
how long did the processof healing and restoration
take for you, and what doesthat look like
for our listeners as they beginthose journeys?
Yeah, I really I think that'sgoing to be different
for every couple.
I think it really depends on,you know, did did this person
(16:48):
look at pornographyfor a couple times
over the course of a monthand then come and confess it?
And really hasn'tstruggled since?
Or has this been a struggle?
You know, I startedlooking at pornography
when I was eight years old,and now I'm 28, and the Lord
is really convicting methat this is a pattern
that doesn't please him.
And I'm realizingfor the first time
I want freedom from it.
(17:08):
So I would say to a couple itit just really depends
on the depth of the struggleand the length of the struggle.
It was the husband.
Did he come forwardand share this of
his own accord, or did shediscover this?
And he really had no intentionat that time of even
sharing with her.
I think that's going to makea big difference
in the healing process.
(17:28):
But I will say thathaving having a counselor,
having a pastor, having someoneregularly involved,
especially in that initialwhere pornography has been
a really regular part of my lifeand I really want
to just break freefrom its clutches.
Having someoneregularly involved
in that process and walkingyou through it, and someone
who has experience with peoplewho struggle with sexual sin,
(17:52):
I think is going to makea huge difference.
And and what that's goingto look like for the couple.
So I would strongly I wouldstrongly advise that
if you don't alreadyhave a good counselor
in your life, thatthat would be a step
I would take right away.
Absolutely.
Those are good recommendationsas as you kind of went through
this yourself, what weresome of the ways
that your husband,was supportive to you
(18:15):
during the healing process?
Yeah.
The most the mostincredible thing he did for me
was lamenting with me.
He gave me the freedomto come to him and say,
this is a way that your sinimpacted me.
And he was willingto receive that from me, to cry
(18:36):
with me about that,but just to be broken
as I was broken and in pain.
For him to be broken overhis sin was one of the most
healing things that he did.
And I think, I think that'sa beautiful picture
of humility, right?
It's so easy.
I know for me, like whenI sin against someone
and I get to the pointwhere I confess it, I kind of
want it to be over,you know, like, okay, I said it,
(18:58):
let's move on.
But for him to to be slowand patient and to go at my pace
and say, I have hurt you,I want to hear about how my sin
has impacted you.
Was it the mostmeaningful thing he did?
That is beautiful.
That's really good.
So as we think about, you know,accountability, you mentioned
(19:19):
this earlier about thethe important role that it plays
in this path.
And you know, you mentionedthings like, you know,
we have to be willing to,you know, forego
some of that privacyand let people into our activity
and see what we're doing.
And that's the beautyof accountability
is it kind of removesall of that secrecy
so that we can be openand transparent.
But what are some other thingsor ways that accountability
(19:42):
is so valuable to this process?
And how did you guys workthat out with your your journey?
So the way I thinkabout accountability
for a Christian especially,is accountability
does not change a person'sheart, ultimately.
And that's reallywhat we're going for
in the whole grandscheme of this process is true
(20:03):
heart transformation,which that's the work of the
Holy Spirit.
That's notthe wife doesn't change
her husband's heart.
The the accountability software,the accountability
process doesn'tchange his heart.
The spirit does that.
But I think pornography isso ubiquitous these days,
and I can have pornographyin a second.
(20:23):
You can havepornography in a second.
And so what accountability doesfor us is it creates
a little bit of space,a little bit of pause between us
and our temptation.
And I genuinely believethat giving that space
is just an opportunityfor the spirit to move
and to say, hey, remember,if you do this, someone's going
(20:46):
to see it.
But that's not the point, right?
It's not reallythat someone else is
getting the email.
That's thena reminder of the spirit
saying like,the Lord is going to see
what I do.
And ultimately my desire is toplease him.
And I want to get to a placewhere I I'm so in love
with the Lord, and I'm soin line with his purposes
(21:06):
for my lifethat I don't even desire
pornography anymore.
If that's the goal,someday that we could
get to that point.
And certainlywhen we're in heaven,
we are goingto have that with him,
that perfect union with him.
But while we're hereon the earth,
we're going to struggle.
And so just allowing spacebetween me and that, that sin
that I might be tempted to dois going to make space
for him to move.
(21:27):
And I so I like to thinkof accountability not as
an invasion of privacy,although it is,
but I think of it as actuallya really beautiful gift
from the Lord.
And a provision from him.
I love that.
That's great.
So good.
Well, you know,there are a lot of,
wives out there that knowthat their husbands
are struggling with pornography,but the husband is not
(21:49):
fully committed yetto making the change.
And that can be a veryprecarious situation for wives.
So what advicedo you have for them
during that periodwhere the husband is
just not ready or notcommitted to make change,
but obviouslythe wife is, hurting and being
hurt in this process.
What advice do you have for her?
(22:10):
That's really that's reallythe hardest place to be
in this wholethis whole scenario,
isn't it? Like that?
That is the most difficult.
And so I'm thinking,if this woman was in front of me
right now, the first thing Iwould want to do
is just give her a hugand say, I'm sorry that
you're hurting.
And I the thoughtof having a spouse
who would so disregard his carefor you and his love
(22:36):
for the Lord and and his desireto be a leader in your family is
incredibly painful.
And I don't even thinkI can overstate how painful
that would be.
But I would say to her,the first thing she's
going to need to do is havea courageous resolve
and a love for the Lordthat says, my desire to please
(23:00):
the Lord is numberone most important in my life.
It's more important to methan my family's image.
It's more importantto me than job security.
It's more important to methan my husband's happiness
and then I think then,if that's her
stance, that pleasing the Lordis the most important thing,
(23:22):
then she can ask herself,what is the most pleasing thing
to the Lord in this situation?
What would it look likefor me to honor God?
So I think the first thingI would say to her is
she would want tobring spiritual provisions
to her children.
I would just be assumingif her husband's in a place
where like pawns,not a big deal.
I don't really want to change.
(23:43):
He's also not going to bein a place where he is
nurturing the childrenin the Lord, teaching them
the scriptures,praying with them,
encouraging them to lovethe Lord is setting an example
for them, maybe even is.
Is he committedto taking them to church
and having, you know, a bodyof believers around the family?
So I would say to herto commit to bringing
(24:03):
spiritual provisionsto your family.
And that could be as simpleas we read a Bible verse
every day or a few versesand we talk about it
and we pray together,and we do that at
breakfast table,or we pray together at night
before we go to sleep.
Or if we don't havea church family,
we look for a church in the areathat's a loving
community that believesGod's Word and teaches it.
(24:23):
And then second of all, Iwould say that she needs to
tell somebodyabout this struggle
and that somebody needs to bea wise person
who loves the Lord,and she just needs
to go to that personand tell them
her whole story, like, just pouryour heart out.
This is what's going onwith my husband.
This is where I'm at.
(24:44):
I don't know what to do.
I need help if she wants to.
She could take a copy of my bookand say, could we read
this together?
I'm really hurting.
And I, you know, I want to knowhow to please the Lord
in this situation.
I'm not even really surewhat that looks like right now.
Could we read this booktogether and talk about it?
So I would say those would besome places to start
(25:05):
because you can't force someoneto take on accountability.
Right?
But what you can do isyou can get help for yourself.
You don't have to sit in silenceand let him treat you this way
and not tell anybody.
You can get the carethat you need, even if he's not
willing to get help.
That is goodadvice for our listeners
(25:25):
out there.
I know we're just scratchingthe surface.
There's so much packedinto this conversation,
and I know we could continueand we're coming to the end of
today's episode,but I do want to
offer some hope,to our listeners.
And I also wantedto point them to your resources
and how they can get connectedwith your book
and even the coursethat you have
(25:47):
in the victory app.
So can you first start with,how they can get connected
to you, your book and,some of the resources that you
mentioned earlier?
Yes, absolutely.
So my book is ReclaimYour Marriage, Grace for wives
who have been hurtby pornography.
There's my book,and then my husband's
book is Redeem Your MarriageHope for husbands who have hurt
(26:09):
to print pornography.
And you can follow, meon social media.
On Instagram, it'sJenny Solomon, 2023.
And then mymy course on the victory app is,
of course, on lament.
And that wouldbe a great place today.
I would say, if you arecoming to this
and you're hurtingbecause of your spouse's sin,
that is goingto be a walk for you.
(26:30):
I believe it's a two week coursewhere you walk
through different.
I took different psalmsand just talked about
how can we lament the brokennessin our marriage?
And so that would bea great place to start today.
That's a free resourceavailable, that's been
made available to youby Covenant Eyes.
That's amazing.
And we'll be sure to put linksin the show notes
for our listenersso they can get to both
(26:51):
of those resources.
And also, we'll put a linkto the course in the victory app
for you all as well.
In closing today, Jenny,I know that, you know,
you have so much wisdomand your journey
is inspirationalto many out there
that are feeling very hopelessat the moment and wondering,
can my marriage be redeemed?
Can we get through this?
But your story offers usa glimmer of that
(27:13):
beautiful, redemptive hope thatthe Lord can make
all things new again.
And so with that, I would loveto just close today's episode
with some encouragementfor our listeners out there.
Would you mind,sharing something
that's on your heartthat would inspire our listeners
with some hope?
Absolutely.
And I'm so glad you said that,because one of our goals
(27:35):
in writing this book iswe wanted to say we didn't
want to minimize the hard thingswe wanted to say.
Our marriage was very,very broken, but we also wanted
to say, and look whatthe Lord has done.
And to me, I would just say,if you are worried about
bringing your storyinto the light
and you're worried aboutwhat's going to happen
(27:56):
if a few people in my lifeknow about this struggle,
I just want to say to you,I had that fear,
I think, multiplied on aon an even greater level
to think what's going to happenwhen not just our accountability
partners know which they did.
We did have thosepeople in our life,
but on a greater scale,like when a lot of people
know about our struggle,what's that going to look like
(28:18):
for us?
And I just want to saythat the response has been
overwhelmingly positive,that the Lord does
beautiful work through broken,humble people.
And so I justwant to say to you,
if you are in that placeof brokenness right now
and humble before the Lordand and you're praying,
God, please bring my spouseto that same point.
(28:39):
He can do anything.
He can takethe most broken story,
and he will use itfor his glory.
And not only that,but he can use it
to bring other brokenpeople to himself and so on.
This on this journey,I just want to say like,
I can't, I can't have imagineda better, a better
outcome of our story,that God would take something
(29:01):
that for so long was a secret.
And now he uses it to helppeople who are hurting.
And I know, I know that he canwork in your story, too.
That is absolutely andinspirational and also,
thank you to youand your husband
for your willingnessto share your testimony and
and your journey.
I think it is so important,as Christians, we must share
(29:22):
what God has done in our livesbecause it offers hope to those
who are strugglingin whatever space and whatever
avenue they are.
But Jenny, it has beensuch a pleasure having you on.
Thank you for your great book.
I think that is a great resourceand we hope to have you back
on the podcast in the future.
It's so great to have you on.
(29:42):
Thanks for joining us today.
Thank you.
Karen, it was so good to bewith you today.
Awesome.
Well, thank you,listeners for tuning in
to this episodeof the Covenant Eyes podcast.
We hope that youhave a blessed day
and we'll see you next time.
God bless. Take care.
Welcome back tothe Covenant Eyes
podcast, everybody.
It is so good to have youback with us.
We have got a great show for youtoday.
We've got Jenny Solomonjoining us.
She is a guest bloggerand also an author
of a victory course.
And if you haven't checked outour victory app, you need to
check it out.
We have got coursesfor everyone in there.
(00:26):
A lot of them are freeand all of them are available
to everybody by using the linkin the show notes.
So make sure you check that out.
Our guest today, Jenny,actually holds
a Bachelor of Artsin philosophy, and religion
from the College of Ozarks.
She attendedthe Southern Baptist
Theological Seminaryand she's the author
of an amazing book calledReclaim Your Marriage
(00:49):
Grace for WivesWho Have Been Hurt
by Pornography.
She's a freelancewriter, a guest blogger,
and the co-founderof Solomon Soul Care.
She lives in her, in Kentucky,where I met, with her
husband, Curtis, and two sons.
And we are so gratefulto have you joining us.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Karen, it's great to bewith you today.
(01:09):
Yeah.
So for thosethat are not familiar
with some of the courseworkthat you've done
in the victory appor even the blogs
that you've done for usover the years, can you share
a little bit about yourpersonal journey and what led
you to write this book?
Reclaim your Marriage?
Yes, absolutely.
So my husbandand I met in seminary,
and he struggledwith pornography
(01:29):
for several yearsin our marriage, and we found
at that time we've been married.
Now I should back up.
We've been married nowfor almost 22 years.
And resolutions.
Thank you so much.
It's yes, one of thesweetest gifts the Lord has ever
given me is Curtis.
But we struggled.
He struggled for many yearswith pornography,
and especially early onin our marriage, we weren't
(01:50):
sure what to do.
We weren't sure who to talk to.
We weren't sure what stepswe needed to take to help him
with that struggle.
And so coming to a pointin our marriage where there was
there's been a lot of growth,repentance and change in him.
And we came to a pointwhere we really thought
that it would bepleasing to the Lord to write
about the experiencethat we had.
(02:11):
And so one of the best partsabout it was I was able
to write my bookfrom the perspective of a wife
who had experienced suffering.
And then he also wrotea companion book for Husbands
Who Are Struggling,and it is called
Redeem Your MarriageHope for Husbands Who Have Hurt
Through pornography.
So that's one of thebeautiful things.
If anyone's listening today,there is an option.
(02:33):
You can certainly readthis book standalone,
but there's also an option toto work through them together.
That is amazing.
And I know thatwe have listeners
that are spouses,we have listeners
that are strugglingwith pornography and often
the hardest partis the hurt in the pain
that we caused one another.
And how do we address that?
So I think these books would bea really great resource
(02:54):
for our listeners to check out.
So as you were writingthis book, you know,
obviously there's a lotthat goes into that and sharing
your personal testimonyand the story of redemption
that you and yourhusband experienced, there
probably were some hardparts to that.
So talk to us a little bitabout writing the book
and how that helped yougrow personally and spiritually
(03:15):
together as a couple,and then both
individually as well.
I think the hardest thingabout writing the books was
putting into words aspects ofthe experience that I had felt,
but never fully articulated.
And that certainlywasn't the case
with the entire book.
But there were aspects,especially that had to do
with body image, that I justhad never really put into words
(03:39):
and even really sharedwith Curtis.
And so having the chanceto do that and to talk through
with him some of the waysthat his passion had affected
me was a really beautifulopportunity
in our marriage for usto just be broken together.
And, and I thinkwhat we experienced
and discovered in that was thebeauty of lament.
(03:59):
That lament allows a personwho has been sinned
against to go to the Lord,but it also allows a person
who has sinned to go to the Lordand to say, like, I'm actually
really hurting over,over the sins that I have caused
other people.
And and so that journey for us,even though it was painful,
was really one of the mostbeautiful things that came
(04:20):
out of the bookfor us personally.
That is so good.
So as you think about this issueof pornography
and how it affectswomen or spouses,
emotionally, spirituallyand relationally,
can you talk to us a little bitabout what that journey is like
and what that experienceis like for the the wife or,
or a spouse in general?
(04:42):
Yeah.
So betrayal is is the heartof it, right?
When someone in your life,there's a huge breach of trust.
And sexual fidelity is one ofthe cornerstones
of a healthy marriage.
And so when that trustis broken, the person
who experiences that hurt,that betrayal has, there's just
(05:03):
such a large gamut of emotions.
I think you can feel hopeless,this person, they're never
going to change if particularlyif this has been an
ongoing struggle, you know,will this ever get better?
How can I ever trustthis person again?
You can be angry at the personyou can be angry at.
God.
God, why are you allowing thisto happen to me?
They can certainlyeven turn inward
(05:24):
and say like, well, maybe I'mpart of the problem,
which isn't the truth.
I think that's a lie.
We really have to fight.
But it's easyto start to believe
the lie that maybe, maybe I'vecaused this struggle,
or there's somethingI could have done differently
to make my husband not strugglewith pornography, which I just,
in the book, try to assure womenover and over again
that his sin is 100%his responsibility.
(05:46):
Because I don't want womenwho are already hurting to bear
any kind of unnecessary or falseguilt over that.
That's a really good point.
And I know that, over the yearsI've been here
with Covenant Eyesfor about eight years
and we've talked toso many different women
that have gone through this,this challenge
in their marriage.
And one of the the thingsthat I have found most troubling
(06:08):
is that from time to time,we'll hear, where church
leaders or othersthat are offering wisdom
and insight into their lives,offering them not good advice,
you know, and saying there's,you know, a role that the woman
plays in thisand that she should do more or,
you know, maybe just have sexmore, dress nicer.
All these things we have heardthose hurtful comments
(06:30):
come from,people in their lives.
How does that impact a spouse?
And did you haveanyone in your life
speaking thosekind of things at all,
or were you,certainly surrounded by people
with good wisdom thathelped you through this?
The tricky part for us isthat we really just didn't have
for many years,especially early on.
(06:51):
We didn't have anyonespeaking into it, or if we
tried to get help,we would talk to someone
a few times.
And we certainly we gotcompassionate care.
There was no onespeaking lies to me,
that it was morejust we really don't have time
to deal with this. And,and so I think after going
to a few different peopleand asking for help
and having people not beparticularly interested
(07:13):
in helping, it just felt like,well, maybe this is something
we just have to dealwith on our own
instead of realizing,no, really, this is a place
the church should be involved.
And I appreciate what you said,because believing a lie
that I've convinced myselfof is one thing,
but having someone speaking liesto you and saying
saying to a wife,or if it's a husband
(07:35):
whose wife is committingyou know,
looking at pornography,I don't want to rule that out.
That certainly can be a case.
But the personthat's being hurt, yes.
If you are in a church or havepeople in your life
who who claim to be Christians,who are saying that your body is
part of the problem,like you said, like
if you just dress niceror lost a few pounds,
or if they're saying to youthat if you were just
(07:56):
having more sex or better sexwith your spouse,
I would say to youthat you are not in a church
that understands the scriptures,and I would look for a new place
to worship, because those thingsare certainly not true.
And to have someone in your lifewho is supposed to be
shepherding your souland teaching you
about what it means to knowand follow the Lord.
If they're sayingthose things to you,
(08:17):
they are not.
They're not speakingthe truth to you.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Many wives that are, you know,in this position and husbands
can be in this position as well.
I mean, now we know that 40 over40% of Christian
women are strugglingwith pornography.
So this can be either spouse.
But for today, we're goingto kind of focus
(08:37):
in on the women.
When wives feel aregoing through this,
they feel so isolated.
And there is a levelof feeling shame, you know,
what would you say to the womenthat are listening
to this podcastwho might be struggling
with those feelingsand feel alone in this battle?
I'm so glad you said that,because it is such a lonely,
isolating place to be.
(08:57):
And it makes sensebecause sexuality
is not somethingwe talk about a lot,
and it's not somethingthat we share
with a lot of people.
You know, it'sthat a private moment
between you and your spouse.
And so it's hard to share that.
But I will say thatif you can find someone
who understandsthe scriptures, loves
the Lord, and is willing to talkthrough this issue with you,
(09:20):
this is anotherone of the reasons
that I wrote this book,because I realized
that there arepeople in the church who care
very much, and they want to seeother believers growing,
and they want to seemarriages flourishing,
and they might not knowexactly how to help.
And so I tried to createa resource that offers content
where there are topicsthat are going
(09:41):
to be relevant to youand your suffering.
And then at the end,there are questions and
additional resources.
So you could read this bookalongside someone else and then
not only hopefullyby the end of it,
they would understandyour struggle
and understand helpyou understand, like
what are the next stepsyou can take together
to continue to grow?
I just my desire in writingthis book is to help,
(10:01):
to bring this struggle outinto the light of community.
Appropriate community.
Not that everyone needs to know,but that you need
to have a few wisepeople in your life
who really know you and arespeaking into this difficulty.
That is so good,and you know it is.
It is a growing trend.
We're seeing more churchesfind ways to integrate
talking about someof these issues,
(10:23):
and that's a positive.
I mean, we have a long waysto go though,
because as a whole,the big C church is not
addressing these issues.
And we often say,you know, well, you know, it's
just kind of uncomfortableor maybe it's a mixed audience.
There's children in the,you know, in the church.
And we don't want to offend.
But the problem is, is thatculture is constantly giving us
message messages of whattheir view on sex and sexuality
(10:47):
is all the time.
And so the church really doesneed to be a beacon of hope,
I believe, to this topic,and I'm really a support system
for people going through this.
Would you agree with that?
Oh, I absolutely agree with you.
I think thatthe church can find ways to care
for people through,whether that's through
small groups or whatI would encourage.
(11:08):
So if someone today tells meI'm struggling,
I don't know what to do.
What I would say to themis get a copy of my book
and take it tosomeone at your church
that you trust.
Maybe that's a Sunday schoolor community group leader.
Maybe that'sone of your pastors.
Maybe that's justan older Christian that you've
watched them in their marriage,and you've seen this couple
has a lot of tendernesstoward each other,
(11:29):
like they really seemto care for
and respect one another.
And, I think that's agood starting place.
But I also think forsomeone maybe who's listening
and thinking,what can the church do?
I would just encourageyou if you're a pastor,
to have resourceslike this available
and talk about itfrom the pulpit in inappropriate
ways, you know, you can.
It's our pastor does a great jobof talking
(11:51):
about difficult topics in a waythat if there's a child
in the room, it's it's going tokind of skim over their heads.
You know, I think that's that'sone of the best gifts
you can give.
And then also let peoplein your church know, hey,
if you've struggled in this areaand if you've had some victory,
we would love to hearhow you're doing now.
And we would love to be ableto connect you
with younger coupleswho you can care for
(12:13):
and walk with, and justhaving those channels
of communication openso that people know
that they can shareand they'll be received
and not not turned awaywith that struggle.
Absolutely.
That is so good.
In the book, you talk a lotabout Grace.
And, you know, I want to talka little bit about how wives
can extend gracewhile also setting
(12:33):
healthy boundaries,because that can be such a hard
and tricky line to walk there,because you do need
healthy boundariesas you're going through the
betrayal trauma.
But we also doneed to extend grace
because that isa, you know, a gift
that's freely given to us.
And who are we to withholdthat from?
Not to others.
Yeah, that's that'ssuch a good point.
(12:53):
And so my starting pointfor thinking about
that is when we lookin the book of acts, we see that
our belief in Jesus, who JesusChrist is in our repentance,
are really closelylinked together.
And so I think keeping that linkand not trying
to separate those twoout into two separate areas
is really helpfulin this situation.
(13:13):
So I would say to wife,we want to be merciful,
we want to extend forgiveness,but we also want to help
our spouse understandthat those things come.
A heart that wants to receiveforgiveness will also be a heart
that desires to repent.
And so then I think helping themto maybe establish
(13:35):
like what wouldrepentance look like?
And you can talk through thatwith your spouse.
You can find another person,maybe like a counselor
can talk that through.
So some of thethings that come to
my mind would be, do you okay,you're coming to me.
You're saying, you know,I want forgiveness.
I have confession, okay?
I would say like, I wantI want to extend
(13:56):
forgiveness to you,but I also like
that's a slow process.
I want to see from youthat there
are actions on your partthat, that indicate
that you really mean it.
So do you haveaccountability software?
Are you willing tohave other people email
that to other people?
I love the accountability systemthat Covenant Eyes offers.
Are you willing to have someonefrom our church
(14:17):
in spiritual leadership?
Someone who is from.
That's another believer.
That's a friend.
Maybe me,if the wife wants to be
in on that.
I'm a huge fan of that.
That doesn't workfor every couple.
So that's somethingyou could think through.
But would you be willingto have me receive those emails
just to see what your onlineactivity looks like?
Would you be willingto take a break
from social media?
Maybe social mediahas been a place that's been
(14:39):
a temptation for you.
Do you have maybe a jobwhere you're interacting really
regularly online,on social media?
Would you be even willingto find a new career path?
I just thinkwhen Scripture talks about that
radical repentancewhere we cut off an arm
or we pluck out an eye,I would want to hear
from this person that that theyreally mean it, and that
pleasing the Lord ismore important to them
(15:01):
than than their privacy,or than this career or job
that they like right now.
And then I thinkonce you're seeing that
and if you're seeing a heartthat's humble and a heart
that's open and a heart like nota secretive person,
there are ways that you canwatch over time and just see
that a personreally is indicating they want
(15:21):
they're not perfect,they're going to still struggle,
but they're wanting toto inch towards Jesus.
And and their heart is humbleand desires to worship him.
And then I think that'sthe place where we say, okay,
like I do want to extend mercy.
I have been hurt,but I see the work
that you're putting in.
I see that you really dowant to repent of this.
(15:41):
And so, yes, I want toextend forgiveness.
But I think maybe where weget it wrong sometimes is
we think that forgiveness isjust a simple like,
yeah, I forgive you.
And then we move onwithout saying, like,
let's, let's walk throughthis slowly.
Let's put a pause here.
And let's see if you're willingto do the things it takes.
That is some great wisdom.
(16:03):
And you know as people thinkabout the journey
and I think it'sprobably different
for everybody.
But it is a processand it does take time.
Often you know we livein a world of instant
gratification.
We want quick fixes.
But this is somethingthat will take some work
and some time.
Of course the Lord can domiraculous things in
a, you know, blink of an eye,but most of us have to walk out
(16:26):
that process.
Can you talk to us a little bitabout the journey itself?
I mean, foryou and your husband,
how long did the processof healing and restoration
take for you, and what doesthat look like
for our listeners as they beginthose journeys?
Yeah, I really I think that'sgoing to be different
for every couple.
I think it really depends on,you know, did did this person
(16:48):
look at pornographyfor a couple times
over the course of a monthand then come and confess it?
And really hasn'tstruggled since?
Or has this been a struggle?
You know, I startedlooking at pornography
when I was eight years old,and now I'm 28, and the Lord
is really convicting methat this is a pattern
that doesn't please him.
And I'm realizingfor the first time
I want freedom from it.
(17:08):
So I would say to a couple itit just really depends
on the depth of the struggleand the length of the struggle.
It was the husband.
Did he come forwardand share this of
his own accord, or did shediscover this?
And he really had no intentionat that time of even
sharing with her.
I think that's going to makea big difference
in the healing process.
(17:28):
But I will say thathaving having a counselor,
having a pastor, having someoneregularly involved,
especially in that initialwhere pornography has been
a really regular part of my lifeand I really want
to just break freefrom its clutches.
Having someoneregularly involved
in that process and walkingyou through it, and someone
who has experience with peoplewho struggle with sexual sin,
(17:52):
I think is going to makea huge difference.
And and what that's goingto look like for the couple.
So I would strongly I wouldstrongly advise that
if you don't alreadyhave a good counselor
in your life, thatthat would be a step
I would take right away.
Absolutely.
Those are good recommendationsas as you kind of went through
this yourself, what weresome of the ways
that your husband,was supportive to you
(18:15):
during the healing process?
Yeah.
The most the mostincredible thing he did for me
was lamenting with me.
He gave me the freedomto come to him and say,
this is a way that your sinimpacted me.
And he was willingto receive that from me, to cry
(18:36):
with me about that,but just to be broken
as I was broken and in pain.
For him to be broken overhis sin was one of the most
healing things that he did.
And I think, I think that'sa beautiful picture
of humility, right?
It's so easy.
I know for me, like whenI sin against someone
and I get to the pointwhere I confess it, I kind of
want it to be over,you know, like, okay, I said it,
(18:58):
let's move on.
But for him to to be slowand patient and to go at my pace
and say, I have hurt you,I want to hear about how my sin
has impacted you.
Was it the mostmeaningful thing he did?
That is beautiful.
That's really good.
So as we think about, you know,accountability, you mentioned
(19:19):
this earlier about thethe important role that it plays
in this path.
And you know, you mentionedthings like, you know,
we have to be willing to,you know, forego
some of that privacyand let people into our activity
and see what we're doing.
And that's the beautyof accountability
is it kind of removesall of that secrecy
so that we can be openand transparent.
But what are some other thingsor ways that accountability
(19:42):
is so valuable to this process?
And how did you guys workthat out with your your journey?
So the way I thinkabout accountability
for a Christian especially,is accountability
does not change a person'sheart, ultimately.
And that's reallywhat we're going for
in the whole grandscheme of this process is true
(20:03):
heart transformation,which that's the work of the
Holy Spirit.
That's notthe wife doesn't change
her husband's heart.
The the accountability software,the accountability
process doesn'tchange his heart.
The spirit does that.
But I think pornography isso ubiquitous these days,
and I can have pornographyin a second.
(20:23):
You can havepornography in a second.
And so what accountability doesfor us is it creates
a little bit of space,a little bit of pause between us
and our temptation.
And I genuinely believethat giving that space
is just an opportunityfor the spirit to move
and to say, hey, remember,if you do this, someone's going
(20:46):
to see it.
But that's not the point, right?
It's not reallythat someone else is
getting the email.
That's thena reminder of the spirit
saying like,the Lord is going to see
what I do.
And ultimately my desire is toplease him.
And I want to get to a placewhere I I'm so in love
with the Lord, and I'm soin line with his purposes
(21:06):
for my lifethat I don't even desire
pornography anymore.
If that's the goal,someday that we could
get to that point.
And certainlywhen we're in heaven,
we are goingto have that with him,
that perfect union with him.
But while we're hereon the earth,
we're going to struggle.
And so just allowing spacebetween me and that, that sin
that I might be tempted to dois going to make space
for him to move.
(21:27):
And I so I like to thinkof accountability not as
an invasion of privacy,although it is,
but I think of it as actuallya really beautiful gift
from the Lord.
And a provision from him.
I love that.
That's great.
So good.
Well, you know,there are a lot of,
wives out there that knowthat their husbands
are struggling with pornography,but the husband is not
(21:49):
fully committed yetto making the change.
And that can be a veryprecarious situation for wives.
So what advicedo you have for them
during that periodwhere the husband is
just not ready or notcommitted to make change,
but obviouslythe wife is, hurting and being
hurt in this process.
What advice do you have for her?
(22:10):
That's really that's reallythe hardest place to be
in this wholethis whole scenario,
isn't it? Like that?
That is the most difficult.
And so I'm thinking,if this woman was in front of me
right now, the first thing Iwould want to do
is just give her a hugand say, I'm sorry that
you're hurting.
And I the thoughtof having a spouse
who would so disregard his carefor you and his love
(22:36):
for the Lord and and his desireto be a leader in your family is
incredibly painful.
And I don't even thinkI can overstate how painful
that would be.
But I would say to her,the first thing she's
going to need to do is havea courageous resolve
and a love for the Lordthat says, my desire to please
(23:00):
the Lord is numberone most important in my life.
It's more important to methan my family's image.
It's more importantto me than job security.
It's more important to methan my husband's happiness
and then I think then,if that's her
stance, that pleasing the Lordis the most important thing,
(23:22):
then she can ask herself,what is the most pleasing thing
to the Lord in this situation?
What would it look likefor me to honor God?
So I think the first thingI would say to her is
she would want tobring spiritual provisions
to her children.
I would just be assumingif her husband's in a place
where like pawns,not a big deal.
I don't really want to change.
(23:43):
He's also not going to bein a place where he is
nurturing the childrenin the Lord, teaching them
the scriptures,praying with them,
encouraging them to lovethe Lord is setting an example
for them, maybe even is.
Is he committedto taking them to church
and having, you know, a bodyof believers around the family?
So I would say to herto commit to bringing
(24:03):
spiritual provisionsto your family.
And that could be as simpleas we read a Bible verse
every day or a few versesand we talk about it
and we pray together,and we do that at
breakfast table,or we pray together at night
before we go to sleep.
Or if we don't havea church family,
we look for a church in the areathat's a loving
community that believesGod's Word and teaches it.
(24:23):
And then second of all, Iwould say that she needs to
tell somebodyabout this struggle
and that somebody needs to bea wise person
who loves the Lord,and she just needs
to go to that personand tell them
her whole story, like, just pouryour heart out.
This is what's going onwith my husband.
This is where I'm at.
(24:44):
I don't know what to do.
I need help if she wants to.
She could take a copy of my bookand say, could we read
this together?
I'm really hurting.
And I, you know, I want to knowhow to please the Lord
in this situation.
I'm not even really surewhat that looks like right now.
Could we read this booktogether and talk about it?
So I would say those would besome places to start
(25:05):
because you can't force someoneto take on accountability.
Right?
But what you can do isyou can get help for yourself.
You don't have to sit in silenceand let him treat you this way
and not tell anybody.
You can get the carethat you need, even if he's not
willing to get help.
That is goodadvice for our listeners
(25:25):
out there.
I know we're just scratchingthe surface.
There's so much packedinto this conversation,
and I know we could continueand we're coming to the end of
today's episode,but I do want to
offer some hope,to our listeners.
And I also wantedto point them to your resources
and how they can get connectedwith your book
and even the coursethat you have
(25:47):
in the victory app.
So can you first start with,how they can get connected
to you, your book and,some of the resources that you
mentioned earlier?
Yes, absolutely.
So my book is ReclaimYour Marriage, Grace for wives
who have been hurtby pornography.
There's my book,and then my husband's
book is Redeem Your MarriageHope for husbands who have hurt
(26:09):
to print pornography.
And you can follow, meon social media.
On Instagram, it'sJenny Solomon, 2023.
And then mymy course on the victory app is,
of course, on lament.
And that wouldbe a great place today.
I would say, if you arecoming to this
and you're hurtingbecause of your spouse's sin,
that is goingto be a walk for you.
(26:30):
I believe it's a two week coursewhere you walk
through different.
I took different psalmsand just talked about
how can we lament the brokennessin our marriage?
And so that would bea great place to start today.
That's a free resourceavailable, that's been
made available to youby Covenant Eyes.
That's amazing.
And we'll be sure to put linksin the show notes
for our listenersso they can get to both
(26:51):
of those resources.
And also, we'll put a linkto the course in the victory app
for you all as well.
In closing today, Jenny,I know that, you know,
you have so much wisdomand your journey
is inspirationalto many out there
that are feeling very hopelessat the moment and wondering,
can my marriage be redeemed?
Can we get through this?
But your story offers usa glimmer of that
(27:13):
beautiful, redemptive hope thatthe Lord can make
all things new again.
And so with that, I would loveto just close today's episode
with some encouragementfor our listeners out there.
Would you mind,sharing something
that's on your heartthat would inspire our listeners
with some hope?
Absolutely.
And I'm so glad you said that,because one of our goals
(27:35):
in writing this book iswe wanted to say we didn't
want to minimize the hard thingswe wanted to say.
Our marriage was very,very broken, but we also wanted
to say, and look whatthe Lord has done.
And to me, I would just say,if you are worried about
bringing your storyinto the light
and you're worried aboutwhat's going to happen
(27:56):
if a few people in my lifeknow about this struggle,
I just want to say to you,I had that fear,
I think, multiplied on aon an even greater level
to think what's going to happenwhen not just our accountability
partners know which they did.
We did have thosepeople in our life,
but on a greater scale,like when a lot of people
know about our struggle,what's that going to look like
(28:18):
for us?
And I just want to saythat the response has been
overwhelmingly positive,that the Lord does
beautiful work through broken,humble people.
And so I justwant to say to you,
if you are in that placeof brokenness right now
and humble before the Lordand and you're praying,
God, please bring my spouseto that same point.
(28:39):
He can do anything.
He can takethe most broken story,
and he will use itfor his glory.
And not only that,but he can use it
to bring other brokenpeople to himself and so on.
This on this journey,I just want to say like,
I can't, I can't have imagineda better, a better
outcome of our story,that God would take something
(29:01):
that for so long was a secret.
And now he uses it to helppeople who are hurting.
And I know, I know that he canwork in your story, too.
That is absolutely andinspirational and also,
thank you to youand your husband
for your willingnessto share your testimony and
and your journey.
I think it is so important,as Christians, we must share
(29:22):
what God has done in our livesbecause it offers hope to those
who are strugglingin whatever space and whatever
avenue they are.
But Jenny, it has beensuch a pleasure having you on.
Thank you for your great book.
I think that is a great resourceand we hope to have you back
on the podcast in the future.
It's so great to have you on.
(29:42):
Thanks for joining us today.
Thank you.
Karen, it was so good to bewith you today.
Awesome.
Well, thank you,listeners for tuning in
to this episodeof the Covenant Eyes podcast.
We hope that youhave a blessed day
and we'll see you next time.
God bless. Take care.
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