July 10, 2024 • 25 mins
Are you determined to steer clear of becoming the 'Crabby Pastor,' exhausted and irritable? If so, this episode (which is Part 1 of a two-part series) will help guide you to sustain yourself in the demanding world of ministry.
We start with a look at 50 Ways to Support Your Pastor Across Five Dimensions of Well-Being: social, physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual—that will fortify your pastoral journey. This is a document available HERE which was produced by Wespath, an agency concerned with pastoral well-being associated with the United Methodist Church.
As our conversation unfolds, we put a spotlight on the vital art of setting boundaries. Explore the significance of rest, rejuvenation, and self-renewal in your pastoral care routine. Discover the secrets of planning vacations effectively while ensuring seamless pastoral care coverage in your absence. Uncover the emotional fortitude needed in ministry, and harness valuable resources like coaches, counselors, and spiritual guides.
In conclusion, we emphasize the invaluable concept of renewal leaves. Tune in now to master the art of balancing pastoral responsibilities with self-care, ensuring you never succumb to becoming the 'Crabby Pastor.' Your rejuvenated ministry journey begins here.
For more information on the transformative Ministerial Coaching Initiative, generously supported by the Lilly Foundation and facilitated through Point Loma Nazarene's Center for Pastoral Leadership, CLICK HERE.
This is a GUILT-FREE zone! So here's your friendly nudge about self-care and its importance for your family, friends, and those you serve in ministry.
Contact info:
Email me at crabbypastor@gmail.com with your input and ideas for burnout and leadership topics of interest or if you know someone who might be interesting to interview.
Visit my website:
YOUR LEADERSHIP COACH FOCUSED ON BURNOUT PREVENTION
Get your FREE Burnout Symptoms test to help you assess whether you are dealing with just general tiredness or something MORE.
CLICK HERE FOR THE BURNOUT SYMPTOMS TEST.
I love scouring around to find great content to share, and am always interested in feedback, if you are or know of someone willing to share their Back from Burnout story so we can all learn together, then CLICK HERE to email me.
And, if this is a reminder you wish to opt out of, that's fine too.
Blessings on your journey!
Margie
🦀 🦀 🦀
Find regular support on my Facebook group: Building Sustainability in Ministry Leaders: Beating Burnout.
Connect with me about
LEADERSHIP COACHING and Workshops...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Margie (00:01):
Hey there, Margie Bryce here bringing you the Crabby
Pastor podcast, and I don'tthink you're going to be too
surprised to know that it's tooeasy today to become the Crabby
Pastor.
Our time together will give youfood for thought to help you be
the ministry leader fullysurrender to God's purposes and
(00:24):
living into whatever it takes toget you there and keep you
there.
So we're talking aboutsustainability in ministry.
Hey there, before we getstarted on today's episode, I
want to give you thisopportunity.
Today's episode, I want to giveyou this opportunity to enhance
(00:49):
your self-care.
Part of self-care is havinganother individual come
alongside you, whether you'relooking at a coach, a spiritual
director or whatever means youhave, so that you're not walking
this journey alone, alone, thatyou have another person walking
with you, and that is theministerial coaching initiative.
I've been a part of that nowfor this past year and as a
(01:11):
coach, I have enjoyed walkingalongside ministry leaders.
This is a Lilly Foundationgrant that is providing coaching
through Point Loma Nazarene,their Center for Pastoral
Leadership.
So what I'm going to do is puta link in the show notes for
(01:33):
where you can go to get moreinformation.
You know, tell them the CrabbyPastors sent you.
They'll laugh about that, buttell them that I sent you.
So this is one of the avenueswhere I provide coaching for
ministry leaders and you know Ido it independently as well and
through several other places.
(01:54):
So I wanted to offer this toyou because you know, maybe
you'd like to try on coachingand maybe you'd like to make a
commitment to do this is eightsessions and there is a cost
involved.
It's a good deal because I was.
I'm always about the good dealalways.
So you know if you're going totry on coaching, you don't want
(02:17):
to try it on just once.
You know I'm going to have onesession just see how it goes.
I think you're at least goingto benefit from three to four to
get a sense of whether it's agood fit and how it's going to
operate for you.
Because coaching is its ownthing.
It's not exactly therapy, it'snot exactly a lot of stuff, but
(02:40):
it's its own entity that helpsyou discover and empowers you to
discover some new solutions toexisting situations or how you
want to manage yourself in themidst of your ministry context.
So maybe you want to check thisout.
The link is in the show notes.
It will be there through theend of the year, and then the
(03:04):
program does start in January,so that's why it's there for
that long.
So I hope you'll consider thisBefore I get rolling here.
I just want to thank all thelisteners who download this
podcast and give a listen, and Iwant to give you a shout out,
because you are at leastconsidering how you might buffet
(03:26):
your self-care so that you cango the distance with God, and
that's a big thing.
That's a huge thing.
So I do want to thank you.
It encourages me as well tokeep on keeping on with this,
and it is my calling, and.
But you know, we toss thisstuff out there, and then
sometimes, who knows, you knowwho's really grabbing on to this
(03:48):
.
I do want to mention, though,that I'm always looking for
burnout stories.
You can go to krabbypastorcom,and there is a form to fill out
there If you have a burnoutstory that you would like to
share.
I'm always interested,especially in people that saw it
coming, because most peopledon't.
(04:09):
You know, maybe youradministrative assistant sees it
coming, but you don'tnecessarily see it coming, so I
would be interested in anyburnout stories.
Those seem to be really popular, interestingly enough, on the
podcast roster.
So, as well as things that Isay about Pastor Appreciation
(04:31):
Month, but I digress.
Anyway, what I want to sharewith you today is from it's kind
of connected to episode 80 inseason three to episode 80 in
season three, so that was justmaybe a month or so-ish ago, and
it was forwarded to me adocument from the fine folks at
(04:52):
Westpath, and Westpath is anagency of the United Methodist
Church.
However, their task, rather, isto be concerned about clergy
well-being, and so this, in mymind, relates to all clergy.
It just does.
And so they forwarded adocument called 50, 50 Ways to
(05:17):
Support your Pastor Across FiveDimensions of Well-Being.
Yet don't freak out that I'mgoing to read all 50.
I'm just, as they say, I'mdoing the highlights.
If you're from the Detroit area, I guess I'm being Bernie
Smilovitz, I think.
So we have highlights, that'swhat we're doing here.
So their five dimensions ofwell-being are social, physical,
(05:42):
financial, emotional andspiritual.
So that's how they have workedwith their well-being aspect and
some of these.
As I'm reading, I'm going ah,because I'm thinking that is the
first time I have ever seenthat in print somewhere.
And you know, I've had questionsfrom even younger clergy about
(06:07):
what is work time and what isn't.
You know what?
How do I count this or that?
And those are great questions.
They're really great.
And I'm like why did?
Why?
Do we not cover this inseminary?
Or did I miss that classsomehow?
I don't?
I don't think so.
But there's a very practicalthing and I you know I rail
(06:29):
against that.
This is a 24-7, 365 days a weekthing.
I mean, I get it if there'semergencies, for sure, for sure,
if somebody calls you at 2 amand their teen or young adult
child has been in an automobileaccident and I say oh, yeah,
you're going to say oh, call meback at 8 am or something.
(06:52):
No, you're going to go for sure, but you don't want to say 24-7
.
And I have people calling youon the phone at 10 pm to talk
about why their cat barfed onthe carpet.
You know what I'm saying.
Those kind of calls.
Or you know, can you read theaspirin bottle to me?
That used to be a doctor.
A friend of mine used to getcalls like that where basically
(07:15):
you know they're askingquestions that if they had just
read the aspirin bottle theywould know.
So you know, I guess I railagainst some of that, but I was
just.
Anyway, I'm going to share some,just some of these, and I will
put the whole document in theshow notes for you, should you
want to download it.
And I think it's a usefuldocument beyond the scope of the
(07:41):
ranks of the United MethodistClan there, so maybe you want to
share this with somebody.
I know many Methodist churcheshave a committee that is
supposed to have oversight ofthe care and nurture of the
pastor.
Some of those committees arewell-trained and a lot of them
(08:02):
are not, you know.
So I know in the instances, youknow, I've known of instances,
let's say, where pastors havehad to train their people how to
do this, and that's awkward,isn't that?
That's really awkward.
It's awkward to say, well, areyou going to give me a review
this year so you can give me araise, or all of that is just
(08:23):
awkward.
But anyway, the committee'ssupposed to care and nurturing
of the pastor is supposed to beincluded in that, and so this
would be a document thatprobably would get used by them
in the course of your lifetogether.
So I'm here is under thephysical.
(08:45):
I'll tell you which dimensionthat these are under and we'll
see how far we get with this.
How it depends on if I startranting on one of them or
something as to how long thissession goes, but we'll see,
we'll see.
So encourage this is under thephysical dimension Encourage the
pastor to care for his or herphysical health by resting when
(09:10):
overworked and not working whenill, I'm thinking.
Trudge in to the office orwherever when they really need
to be at one with the couch orin their in their bed and just
(09:35):
resting up.
How many of you go in,regardless, as long as you can
stand upright, that's yourcriteria.
Maybe, whether you go in or notand I'm here to tell you and
give you permission maybe youneed to take a day on the couch
and let your body heal properlyso that you can be about the
(09:58):
things you want to be about.
So here's another one.
Allow the pastor sufficienttime for recovery from illness,
injury or surgery.
That's just a good reminder.
None of these so far yet arethe ones where I went what.
But anyway, this one cracked meup.
(10:21):
Ensure healthy food choices areavailable at potlucks and other
church events and I'm thinkingchurch potlucks are like just
about the worst, or that it justI don't know what happens.
You know, I guess you wanteverybody to love what you
brought.
Usually, in most people's mindsthat includes lots of sugar,
(10:43):
fat and lots of other stuff likethat.
But I used to try to bring abowl of fresh cut fruit salad so
that there was something thatwas in my Weight Watcher days.
You know, I was kind of like Ihave to have something I can eat
here because they don't, andI'm not sure how you would go
about.
I'm not enforcing is the wrongword, but enacting this or
(11:07):
saying let's see how healthy wecan make this potluck.
I don't know, maybe give aprize for the best tasting
healthy thing or something.
I don't know, I'll leave thatto you.
Allow the pastor to take timeoff for doctor's appointments,
preventive screenings, etc.
You know, and here we go.
(11:29):
Here's where we start, whereministry leaders, especially
those who are newer to ministry,say am I allowed if I take time
?
Is that all right?
You know, yes, yes, it is allright.
I'm telling you today it's'sall right and it says so on this
piece of paper here.
So we're good.
(11:50):
Um, and then the last one I wantto mention, the physical domain
is respect the pastor's privacyregarding personal health
issues.
Now, I guess that's a boundarything, but you do not have to
disclose everything to everybodyand sometimes, even when you
(12:10):
disclose some things to somepeople, some people don't
understand fully the concept ofconfidential.
Some people intend to beconfidential, but they can still
be a little leaky.
You know you can tell when acan still be a little leaky.
You know you can tell when acommittee has been a little
leaky.
You might not be able to tellwhich person was leaky, but
(12:32):
somebody was leaky.
So that's always a good thingto have in mind.
If you don't want people toknow, it's okay.
It's okay to not, to not sayUnless at some point.
If it's going to impact thelife of the church, then
certainly that's worth adiscussion.
But you, you want to keep aboundary in mind and you can set
(12:52):
that okay.
Now, moving to the emotionaldimension.
This is what it says underemotional dimension and this one
I like said I've never seenthis in print anywhere until now
, and I'm X number of years intoministry Encourage the pastor
(13:13):
to schedule two days off eachweek, a personal day in addition
to a Sabbath day.
Now I want to ask right now howmany of your little minds are
blown by that?
How many are blown?
Encourage the pastor toschedule two days off each week,
(13:35):
a personal day in addition to aSabbath day.
Respect your pastor's day off,contacting him or her only for
and these are in quotes trueemergencies, and discuss in
advance what constitutes a trueemergency.
I you know, I had someone tellme when I stepped back from
(13:58):
pastoral ministry that I wasgoing to discover a new thing,
and it was called the Weekend,and I had to laugh about that.
But I took Fridays off and youknow what?
Saturday mornings were the onlymornings that I could have
breakfast with my husband, andso we would go out for breakfast
.
You know, I might do tweak athing or two for Sunday.
(14:21):
I usually was done by Thursdayat the end of the day and ready
for Sunday.
And then Saturday was a littleon off, you know if I really had
something I needed to attend to, but a lot of times it was a
personal day for me and for myhusband to just enjoy one
another, as he was, you know,driving very far for me to do
(14:45):
ministry while maintaining hisjob and all of that.
So I lived that, but I neversaw it in print anywhere at all.
So here's another one Expect andencourage the pastor to take
his or her full allotment ofvacation time each year and to
(15:08):
not return from vacation toperform funerals etc.
Whenever possible.
Help the pastor arrange forpastoral care coverage while
they are on vacation.
I can't tell you how manypastors return to do a funeral.
And in this day and age I havean even bigger question mark on
(15:31):
that, because today manyfamilies will gee, some families
are opting to do nothing, whichis a mind blower.
And this is where the Christianfaith has a lot to offer and
say to the culture at large thatyou need to do something, that
it's good closure and healthygrieving process for the people
(15:52):
that remain.
But I know of families thathave had a loved one pass in the
middle of winter and then theysay we'll do a funeral in the
spring or summer when we canhave a family reunion and gather
everybody together for that.
So to me this is very navigable.
(16:13):
You can navigate it easily.
I'm saying where you don't haveto return from a case, because
some pastors just feel veryguilty if they're not there.
And I get it If you formed abond with a person, you want to
be there, but maybe the familycould be a little more flexible
so that you're not so that theboundary of your vacation is
(16:35):
respected as well, because, youknow, vacation is re-creation
time, time for you to berecreated and time for you to
get out of town, time for you tobe in a different environment
with a different time schedule,with a different, and it
rejuvenates you.
(16:55):
Okay, I like this next one.
There's a lot under thisemotional dimension that I like
that I felt like wow, this isjust Wow.
Recognize that the role ofpastor requires a great deal of
emotional energy and I'm goingto add creative energy as well
(17:17):
when you consider sermons.
But emotional energy and theysay, for example, dealing with
death, conflicts in the church,multiple demands from members
and the DS, your superintendent,supervisor, whoever that could
be, all their demands and stuff.
So be sensitive to moredemanding times of the church
(17:39):
year and arrange for additionalsupport from lay members, that's
, people in your congregation.
And I thought, wow, that's thefirst time that I have seen mean
.
I know, I know that ministryrequires that you deal with
death and conflict and lots ofdemands and all that kind of
thing.
This is the first place I'veseen this in writing and I just
(18:03):
was pretty blown away by it.
I like this one, of course,encourage the pastor to have a
coach or counselor or spiritualdirector outside of the church
with whom to discuss and processchurch and personal issues.
I love this.
(18:24):
It's not just about discussingit, but sometimes we need to
process what's going on in ourministries, what's going on in
our personal lives and howthat's impacting how we lead,
and so that is part and parcelwith what a coach can help you
(18:44):
to do is help you to understandand process all that.
Observe pastor appreciationmonth in October each year,
expressing appreciation to thepastor and staff.
Nuff said on that and I thinkearlier this month I loaded at
(19:05):
my pastor appreciation spiel soyou can go back and listen to
that one there and I'll leavethat there.
Here's a good one Work with thepastor to identify which church
programs and activities trulyrequire the pastor's presence
and which might be equallyguided by lay leadership, which
(19:26):
is just the people in the churchwho are in leadership and
manage congregationalexpectations accordingly.
And I thought, boy, this is areally good one.
As soon as I could, as soon asit made sense to do this, I told
those trustees.
I said you just, you guys, justmeet, and what meaning and this
(19:49):
is in Michigan is you guys,means the same thing as all
y'all does in the South.
Just so you know, just go aheadand meet and let me know the
things you've, the tasks you'vechosen to tackle.
And we operated on a one, asingle board model anyway, and
so so it wouldn't take 10 monthsto decide what color to paint
(20:11):
the nursery or what kind ofpaint to buy or anything like
that.
They were empowered, they had abudget and they knew what the
realm of their responsibilitieswere.
So then they would just talkwith me briefly, the leader, and
just say this is what we'regoing to be about, and or I
would mention to them somethings maybe they should be
(20:33):
about.
Anyway, I think what I'm goingto do here, I'm going to go into
the spiritual dimension and Iwant to offer these that are on
here.
You know and maybe some peoplemight critique my podcast as not
being spiritual enough, becauseI'm talking about self-care and
(20:54):
I do think it's your spiritualact of worship to be a good
steward with the finite littlebody that God has given to you,
so that you can go the distancewith, with whatever God has
planned in advance for you to do.
So that that would be mypushback against that and
there's just tons of support andmaterials out there for leaders
(21:17):
in the spiritual dimension andI feel that this is where I'm
hanging my hat, because this iswhere I believe God wants me to
hang my hat but the spiritualdimension that is mentioned here
are some practical stuff thatsays things like this Recognize
that Sunday is a work day forthe pastor.
(21:38):
Encourage them to observe aSabbath day other than Sunday.
So yay for that.
Allow time for the pastor totake regular spiritual retreats
and that counts in your worktime.
People, just to be clear, thatis a personal spiritual
(22:02):
development moment for you totake advantage of, for you to be
able to recharge.
Take advantage of for you to beable to recharge.
Recognize that the pastor isalso a Christian on a spiritual
journey and will not have allthe answers.
Yay, because, why?
(22:24):
Because we are not God right.
And the last one I want tomention is to encourage the
pastor to take a renewal leave,and they define that as several
weeks for renewal and or studyevery so many years,
particularly before or aftervery demanding times.
(22:45):
Hmm, what could those be?
Such as a building campaign, arelocation or other major church
endeavor?
Gee, hmm, hmm.
And I'm just gonna leave thatright there.
The two aspects that I need togo into next might take a little
(23:06):
bit more time than what I wantto devote today to this
particular issue, that's,financial and social dimensions
that are covered by this littleoh, what do you call this?
I don't know.
50 things, 50,.
I wanted to say 50 ways toleave your lover, but that's not
50 ways to leave your liver,but that's not 50 ways to
(23:29):
support your pastor across fivedimensions of well-being, and so
I'm going to cover that in thenext episode.
So I think that I have givenyou an ample amount of stuff to
chew on, and for sure, rememberthat the document is in the show
notes, and it might besomething that you could bring
(23:52):
to your church board or whateverstructure that you happen to be
functioning within, because itwas, it was good stuff, good
stuff.
Hey friends, the Crabby pastorpodcast is sponsored by Bryce
Art Glass and you can find thaton Facebook.
(24:13):
I make stained glass.
That's part of my self-care andalso by Bryce Coaching, where I
coach ministry leaders andbusiness leaders, and so the
funds that I generate fromcoaching and from making stained
glass is what is supportingthis podcast and I will have
(24:36):
opportunities for you to be apart of sponsoring me and, as
always, you can do the buy me acup of coffee thing in the show
notes.
But I will have some other waysthat you can be a part of
getting the word out about theimportance of healthy self-care
for ministry leaders.
(24:57):
Hey, thanks for listening.
It is my deep desire andpassion to champion issues of
sustainability in ministry andfor your life, so I'm here to
help.
I stepped back from pastoralministry and I feel called to
(25:20):
help ministry leaders create andcultivate sustainability in
their lives so that they can gothe distance with God and
whatever plans that God has foryou.
I would love to help, I wouldconsider it an honor and, in all
things, make sure you connectto these sustainability
(25:43):
practices you know, so that youdon't become the Crabby Pastor.
Hey there, Margie Bryce here bringing you the Crabby
Pastor podcast, and I don'tthink you're going to be too
surprised to know that it's tooeasy today to become the Crabby
Pastor.
Our time together will give youfood for thought to help you be
the ministry leader fullysurrender to God's purposes and
(00:24):
living into whatever it takes toget you there and keep you
there.
So we're talking aboutsustainability in ministry.
Hey there, before we getstarted on today's episode, I
want to give you thisopportunity.
Today's episode, I want to giveyou this opportunity to enhance
(00:49):
your self-care.
Part of self-care is havinganother individual come
alongside you, whether you'relooking at a coach, a spiritual
director or whatever means youhave, so that you're not walking
this journey alone, alone, thatyou have another person walking
with you, and that is theministerial coaching initiative.
I've been a part of that nowfor this past year and as a
(01:11):
coach, I have enjoyed walkingalongside ministry leaders.
This is a Lilly Foundationgrant that is providing coaching
through Point Loma Nazarene,their Center for Pastoral
Leadership.
So what I'm going to do is puta link in the show notes for
(01:33):
where you can go to get moreinformation.
You know, tell them the CrabbyPastors sent you.
They'll laugh about that, buttell them that I sent you.
So this is one of the avenueswhere I provide coaching for
ministry leaders and you know Ido it independently as well and
through several other places.
(01:54):
So I wanted to offer this toyou because you know, maybe
you'd like to try on coachingand maybe you'd like to make a
commitment to do this is eightsessions and there is a cost
involved.
It's a good deal because I was.
I'm always about the good dealalways.
So you know if you're going totry on coaching, you don't want
(02:17):
to try it on just once.
You know I'm going to have onesession just see how it goes.
I think you're at least goingto benefit from three to four to
get a sense of whether it's agood fit and how it's going to
operate for you.
Because coaching is its ownthing.
It's not exactly therapy, it'snot exactly a lot of stuff, but
(02:40):
it's its own entity that helpsyou discover and empowers you to
discover some new solutions toexisting situations or how you
want to manage yourself in themidst of your ministry context.
So maybe you want to check thisout.
The link is in the show notes.
It will be there through theend of the year, and then the
(03:04):
program does start in January,so that's why it's there for
that long.
So I hope you'll consider thisBefore I get rolling here.
I just want to thank all thelisteners who download this
podcast and give a listen, and Iwant to give you a shout out,
because you are at leastconsidering how you might buffet
(03:26):
your self-care so that you cango the distance with God, and
that's a big thing.
That's a huge thing.
So I do want to thank you.
It encourages me as well tokeep on keeping on with this,
and it is my calling, and.
But you know, we toss thisstuff out there, and then
sometimes, who knows, you knowwho's really grabbing on to this
(03:48):
.
I do want to mention, though,that I'm always looking for
burnout stories.
You can go to krabbypastorcom,and there is a form to fill out
there If you have a burnoutstory that you would like to
share.
I'm always interested,especially in people that saw it
coming, because most peopledon't.
(04:09):
You know, maybe youradministrative assistant sees it
coming, but you don'tnecessarily see it coming, so I
would be interested in anyburnout stories.
Those seem to be really popular, interestingly enough, on the
podcast roster.
So, as well as things that Isay about Pastor Appreciation
(04:31):
Month, but I digress.
Anyway, what I want to sharewith you today is from it's kind
of connected to episode 80 inseason three to episode 80 in
season three, so that was justmaybe a month or so-ish ago, and
it was forwarded to me adocument from the fine folks at
(04:52):
Westpath, and Westpath is anagency of the United Methodist
Church.
However, their task, rather, isto be concerned about clergy
well-being, and so this, in mymind, relates to all clergy.
It just does.
And so they forwarded adocument called 50, 50 Ways to
(05:17):
Support your Pastor Across FiveDimensions of Well-Being.
Yet don't freak out that I'mgoing to read all 50.
I'm just, as they say, I'mdoing the highlights.
If you're from the Detroit area, I guess I'm being Bernie
Smilovitz, I think.
So we have highlights, that'swhat we're doing here.
So their five dimensions ofwell-being are social, physical,
(05:42):
financial, emotional andspiritual.
So that's how they have workedwith their well-being aspect and
some of these.
As I'm reading, I'm going ah,because I'm thinking that is the
first time I have ever seenthat in print somewhere.
And you know, I've had questionsfrom even younger clergy about
(06:07):
what is work time and what isn't.
You know what?
How do I count this or that?
And those are great questions.
They're really great.
And I'm like why did?
Why?
Do we not cover this inseminary?
Or did I miss that classsomehow?
I don't?
I don't think so.
But there's a very practicalthing and I you know I rail
(06:29):
against that.
This is a 24-7, 365 days a weekthing.
I mean, I get it if there'semergencies, for sure, for sure,
if somebody calls you at 2 amand their teen or young adult
child has been in an automobileaccident and I say oh, yeah,
you're going to say oh, call meback at 8 am or something.
(06:52):
No, you're going to go for sure, but you don't want to say 24-7
.
And I have people calling youon the phone at 10 pm to talk
about why their cat barfed onthe carpet.
You know what I'm saying.
Those kind of calls.
Or you know, can you read theaspirin bottle to me?
That used to be a doctor.
A friend of mine used to getcalls like that where basically
(07:15):
you know they're askingquestions that if they had just
read the aspirin bottle theywould know.
So you know, I guess I railagainst some of that, but I was
just.
Anyway, I'm going to share some,just some of these, and I will
put the whole document in theshow notes for you, should you
want to download it.
And I think it's a usefuldocument beyond the scope of the
(07:41):
ranks of the United MethodistClan there, so maybe you want to
share this with somebody.
I know many Methodist churcheshave a committee that is
supposed to have oversight ofthe care and nurture of the
pastor.
Some of those committees arewell-trained and a lot of them
(08:02):
are not, you know.
So I know in the instances, youknow, I've known of instances,
let's say, where pastors havehad to train their people how to
do this, and that's awkward,isn't that?
That's really awkward.
It's awkward to say, well, areyou going to give me a review
this year so you can give me araise, or all of that is just
(08:23):
awkward.
But anyway, the committee'ssupposed to care and nurturing
of the pastor is supposed to beincluded in that, and so this
would be a document thatprobably would get used by them
in the course of your lifetogether.
So I'm here is under thephysical.
(08:45):
I'll tell you which dimensionthat these are under and we'll
see how far we get with this.
How it depends on if I startranting on one of them or
something as to how long thissession goes, but we'll see,
we'll see.
So encourage this is under thephysical dimension Encourage the
pastor to care for his or herphysical health by resting when
(09:10):
overworked and not working whenill, I'm thinking.
Trudge in to the office orwherever when they really need
to be at one with the couch orin their in their bed and just
(09:35):
resting up.
How many of you go in,regardless, as long as you can
stand upright, that's yourcriteria.
Maybe, whether you go in or notand I'm here to tell you and
give you permission maybe youneed to take a day on the couch
and let your body heal properlyso that you can be about the
(09:58):
things you want to be about.
So here's another one.
Allow the pastor sufficienttime for recovery from illness,
injury or surgery.
That's just a good reminder.
None of these so far yet arethe ones where I went what.
But anyway, this one cracked meup.
(10:21):
Ensure healthy food choices areavailable at potlucks and other
church events and I'm thinkingchurch potlucks are like just
about the worst, or that it justI don't know what happens.
You know, I guess you wanteverybody to love what you
brought.
Usually, in most people's mindsthat includes lots of sugar,
(10:43):
fat and lots of other stuff likethat.
But I used to try to bring abowl of fresh cut fruit salad so
that there was something thatwas in my Weight Watcher days.
You know, I was kind of like Ihave to have something I can eat
here because they don't, andI'm not sure how you would go
about.
I'm not enforcing is the wrongword, but enacting this or
(11:07):
saying let's see how healthy wecan make this potluck.
I don't know, maybe give aprize for the best tasting
healthy thing or something.
I don't know, I'll leave thatto you.
Allow the pastor to take timeoff for doctor's appointments,
preventive screenings, etc.
You know, and here we go.
(11:29):
Here's where we start, whereministry leaders, especially
those who are newer to ministry,say am I allowed if I take time
?
Is that all right?
You know, yes, yes, it is allright.
I'm telling you today it's'sall right and it says so on this
piece of paper here.
So we're good.
(11:50):
Um, and then the last one I wantto mention, the physical domain
is respect the pastor's privacyregarding personal health
issues.
Now, I guess that's a boundarything, but you do not have to
disclose everything to everybodyand sometimes, even when you
(12:10):
disclose some things to somepeople, some people don't
understand fully the concept ofconfidential.
Some people intend to beconfidential, but they can still
be a little leaky.
You know you can tell when acan still be a little leaky.
You know you can tell when acommittee has been a little
leaky.
You might not be able to tellwhich person was leaky, but
(12:32):
somebody was leaky.
So that's always a good thingto have in mind.
If you don't want people toknow, it's okay.
It's okay to not, to not sayUnless at some point.
If it's going to impact thelife of the church, then
certainly that's worth adiscussion.
But you, you want to keep aboundary in mind and you can set
(12:52):
that okay.
Now, moving to the emotionaldimension.
This is what it says underemotional dimension and this one
I like said I've never seenthis in print anywhere until now
, and I'm X number of years intoministry Encourage the pastor
(13:13):
to schedule two days off eachweek, a personal day in addition
to a Sabbath day.
Now I want to ask right now howmany of your little minds are
blown by that?
How many are blown?
Encourage the pastor toschedule two days off each week,
(13:35):
a personal day in addition to aSabbath day.
Respect your pastor's day off,contacting him or her only for
and these are in quotes trueemergencies, and discuss in
advance what constitutes a trueemergency.
I you know, I had someone tellme when I stepped back from
(13:58):
pastoral ministry that I wasgoing to discover a new thing,
and it was called the Weekend,and I had to laugh about that.
But I took Fridays off and youknow what?
Saturday mornings were the onlymornings that I could have
breakfast with my husband, andso we would go out for breakfast
.
You know, I might do tweak athing or two for Sunday.
(14:21):
I usually was done by Thursdayat the end of the day and ready
for Sunday.
And then Saturday was a littleon off, you know if I really had
something I needed to attend to, but a lot of times it was a
personal day for me and for myhusband to just enjoy one
another, as he was, you know,driving very far for me to do
(14:45):
ministry while maintaining hisjob and all of that.
So I lived that, but I neversaw it in print anywhere at all.
So here's another one Expect andencourage the pastor to take
his or her full allotment ofvacation time each year and to
(15:08):
not return from vacation toperform funerals etc.
Whenever possible.
Help the pastor arrange forpastoral care coverage while
they are on vacation.
I can't tell you how manypastors return to do a funeral.
And in this day and age I havean even bigger question mark on
(15:31):
that, because today manyfamilies will gee, some families
are opting to do nothing, whichis a mind blower.
And this is where the Christianfaith has a lot to offer and
say to the culture at large thatyou need to do something, that
it's good closure and healthygrieving process for the people
(15:52):
that remain.
But I know of families thathave had a loved one pass in the
middle of winter and then theysay we'll do a funeral in the
spring or summer when we canhave a family reunion and gather
everybody together for that.
So to me this is very navigable.
(16:13):
You can navigate it easily.
I'm saying where you don't haveto return from a case, because
some pastors just feel veryguilty if they're not there.
And I get it If you formed abond with a person, you want to
be there, but maybe the familycould be a little more flexible
so that you're not so that theboundary of your vacation is
(16:35):
respected as well, because, youknow, vacation is re-creation
time, time for you to berecreated and time for you to
get out of town, time for you tobe in a different environment
with a different time schedule,with a different, and it
rejuvenates you.
(16:55):
Okay, I like this next one.
There's a lot under thisemotional dimension that I like
that I felt like wow, this isjust Wow.
Recognize that the role ofpastor requires a great deal of
emotional energy and I'm goingto add creative energy as well
(17:17):
when you consider sermons.
But emotional energy and theysay, for example, dealing with
death, conflicts in the church,multiple demands from members
and the DS, your superintendent,supervisor, whoever that could
be, all their demands and stuff.
So be sensitive to moredemanding times of the church
(17:39):
year and arrange for additionalsupport from lay members, that's
, people in your congregation.
And I thought, wow, that's thefirst time that I have seen mean
.
I know, I know that ministryrequires that you deal with
death and conflict and lots ofdemands and all that kind of
thing.
This is the first place I'veseen this in writing and I just
(18:03):
was pretty blown away by it.
I like this one, of course,encourage the pastor to have a
coach or counselor or spiritualdirector outside of the church
with whom to discuss and processchurch and personal issues.
I love this.
(18:24):
It's not just about discussingit, but sometimes we need to
process what's going on in ourministries, what's going on in
our personal lives and howthat's impacting how we lead,
and so that is part and parcelwith what a coach can help you
(18:44):
to do is help you to understandand process all that.
Observe pastor appreciationmonth in October each year,
expressing appreciation to thepastor and staff.
Nuff said on that and I thinkearlier this month I loaded at
(19:05):
my pastor appreciation spiel soyou can go back and listen to
that one there and I'll leavethat there.
Here's a good one Work with thepastor to identify which church
programs and activities trulyrequire the pastor's presence
and which might be equallyguided by lay leadership, which
(19:26):
is just the people in the churchwho are in leadership and
manage congregationalexpectations accordingly.
And I thought, boy, this is areally good one.
As soon as I could, as soon asit made sense to do this, I told
those trustees.
I said you just, you guys, justmeet, and what meaning and this
(19:49):
is in Michigan is you guys,means the same thing as all
y'all does in the South.
Just so you know, just go aheadand meet and let me know the
things you've, the tasks you'vechosen to tackle.
And we operated on a one, asingle board model anyway, and
so so it wouldn't take 10 monthsto decide what color to paint
(20:11):
the nursery or what kind ofpaint to buy or anything like
that.
They were empowered, they had abudget and they knew what the
realm of their responsibilitieswere.
So then they would just talkwith me briefly, the leader, and
just say this is what we'regoing to be about, and or I
would mention to them somethings maybe they should be
(20:33):
about.
Anyway, I think what I'm goingto do here, I'm going to go into
the spiritual dimension and Iwant to offer these that are on
here.
You know and maybe some peoplemight critique my podcast as not
being spiritual enough, becauseI'm talking about self-care and
(20:54):
I do think it's your spiritualact of worship to be a good
steward with the finite littlebody that God has given to you,
so that you can go the distancewith, with whatever God has
planned in advance for you to do.
So that that would be mypushback against that and
there's just tons of support andmaterials out there for leaders
(21:17):
in the spiritual dimension andI feel that this is where I'm
hanging my hat, because this iswhere I believe God wants me to
hang my hat but the spiritualdimension that is mentioned here
are some practical stuff thatsays things like this Recognize
that Sunday is a work day forthe pastor.
(21:38):
Encourage them to observe aSabbath day other than Sunday.
So yay for that.
Allow time for the pastor totake regular spiritual retreats
and that counts in your worktime.
People, just to be clear, thatis a personal spiritual
(22:02):
development moment for you totake advantage of, for you to be
able to recharge.
Take advantage of for you to beable to recharge.
Recognize that the pastor isalso a Christian on a spiritual
journey and will not have allthe answers.
Yay, because, why?
(22:24):
Because we are not God right.
And the last one I want tomention is to encourage the
pastor to take a renewal leave,and they define that as several
weeks for renewal and or studyevery so many years,
particularly before or aftervery demanding times.
(22:45):
Hmm, what could those be?
Such as a building campaign, arelocation or other major church
endeavor?
Gee, hmm, hmm.
And I'm just gonna leave thatright there.
The two aspects that I need togo into next might take a little
(23:06):
bit more time than what I wantto devote today to this
particular issue, that's,financial and social dimensions
that are covered by this littleoh, what do you call this?
I don't know.
50 things, 50,.
I wanted to say 50 ways toleave your lover, but that's not
50 ways to leave your liver,but that's not 50 ways to
(23:29):
support your pastor across fivedimensions of well-being, and so
I'm going to cover that in thenext episode.
So I think that I have givenyou an ample amount of stuff to
chew on, and for sure, rememberthat the document is in the show
notes, and it might besomething that you could bring
(23:52):
to your church board or whateverstructure that you happen to be
functioning within, because itwas, it was good stuff, good
stuff.
Hey friends, the Crabby pastorpodcast is sponsored by Bryce
Art Glass and you can find thaton Facebook.
(24:13):
I make stained glass.
That's part of my self-care andalso by Bryce Coaching, where I
coach ministry leaders andbusiness leaders, and so the
funds that I generate fromcoaching and from making stained
glass is what is supportingthis podcast and I will have
(24:36):
opportunities for you to be apart of sponsoring me and, as
always, you can do the buy me acup of coffee thing in the show
notes.
But I will have some other waysthat you can be a part of
getting the word out about theimportance of healthy self-care
for ministry leaders.
(24:57):
Hey, thanks for listening.
It is my deep desire andpassion to champion issues of
sustainability in ministry andfor your life, so I'm here to
help.
I stepped back from pastoralministry and I feel called to
(25:20):
help ministry leaders create andcultivate sustainability in
their lives so that they can gothe distance with God and
whatever plans that God has foryou.
I would love to help, I wouldconsider it an honor and, in all
things, make sure you connectto these sustainability
(25:43):
practices you know, so that youdon't become the Crabby Pastor.
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