October 16, 2024 • 26 mins
Join me, Margie Bryce, your leadership coach who focuses on burnout prevention, on this eye-opening episode of the Crabby Pastor Podcast, where we unravel what's essential to find contentment and perseverance through Christ's strength, all while understanding that we are not built for limitless capacity. What if the very Bible verse you've been leaning on for endless strength is actually nudging you to recognize your limits? This heartfelt conversation guides you through maintaining sustainability to fight leadership burnout in both your ministry and personal life by acknowledging your human limitations.
Running on fumes without recognizing our limits can lead to burnout, affecting both physical and mental health. It also saps the joy out of us. Who wants THAT?
This is a GUILT-FREE zone! So here's your friendly nudge about self-care and its importance for your family, friends, and those you serve in ministry.
Contact info:
Email me at crabbypastor@gmail.com with your input and ideas for burnout and leadership topics of interest or if you know someone who might be interesting to interview.
Visit my website:
YOUR LEADERSHIP COACH FOCUSED ON BURNOUT PREVENTION
Get your FREE Burnout Symptoms test to help you assess whether you are dealing with just general tiredness or something MORE.
CLICK HERE FOR THE BURNOUT SYMPTOMS TEST.
I love scouring around to find great content to share, and am always interested in feedback, if you are or know of someone willing to share their Back from Burnout story so we can all learn together, then CLICK HERE to email me.
And, if this is a reminder you wish to opt out of, that's fine too.
Blessings on your journey!
Margie
🦀 🦀 🦀
Find regular support on my Facebook group: Building Sustainability in Ministry Leaders: Beating Burnout.
Connect with me about
LEADERSHIP COACHING and Workshops...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Margie (00:01):
Hey there, it's Margie Bryce, your host of the Crabby
Pastor podcast, where we talkabout all things sustainability,
whether it's sustainability inministry, in your personal life
and we acknowledge that thechurch is in a transitional time
, so we hit topics there toothat are going to stretch your
(00:22):
mind and the way you lead,especially how you lead yourself
, so that you don't become thecrabby pastor.
Hey there, friends, margieBryce here with the Crabby
Pastor Podcast, and I havesomething.
Well, gee, I don't know, maybemaybe you won't find that.
(00:46):
Well, this is not the mostupbeat topic today, but I think
it's an essential topic, sothat's why I wanted to bring it
to you.
Just something to you know,keep you up at night, or you can
think about in the middle ofthe night, or maybe just
something that you can let rollaround in your head, in your
(01:08):
mind, in your heart.
So I want to talk about beingfinite.
And, yeah, okay, I think wesort of know that we are finite.
I think we know we are peoplewho serve the interests of an
infinite God, and that issomething we're all excited
about.
But I want to talk about todayis our finitude.
(01:31):
That would be our attitudetowards the fact that we are
finite, because it turns outthat we get in trouble in this
area and we just blow right pastthe fact that we are finite,
and that gets us in trouble.
It gets us.
(01:52):
If you do this long enough,hard enough, fast enough, mostly
long enough too, you can headto burnout.
You will head to burnout.
But I think about passages thatwe have used that somehow seem
to propel us into ignoring thefact that we are finite, and
(02:15):
this is something that we dowith the scripture, and so I
want to share with youPhilippians 4.13.
And that is a verse that says Ican do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me.
Now hear me on this.
I am not negating what thissays in any way, shape or form,
(02:36):
but this is sometimes where wetake our little exacto knife and
we cut that out and frame itand put it on the wall, and
that's not a terrible thing toput on your wall.
It reminds us that God is withus, god strengthens us, but it's
I can do, we'll take all things, all things, and it feels like
(02:58):
there's no limits to that, andin some sense there isn't, but
in some sense there mostdefinitely is.
So we can't forget ever thatthere is a context of this and
that is Paul writing to thechurch that he established, and
with some help for sure, atPhilippi, and he's in jail and
(03:22):
he's writing this.
So you know, if I back it up,say to verse 10, Paul is saying
but I rejoice in the Lordgreatly that now, at last, your
care for me has flourished again, though you surely did care,
but you lacked opportunity.
So they were attempting, theChurch of Philippi was
attempting to send things toPaul to provide for some care,
(03:44):
and this is what he's speakingabout.
He says not that I speak inregard to need, for I have
learned, in whatever state I am,to be content.
That's a pretty bigphilosophical statement for
somebody in prison.
So not that I speak in regardto need, for I have learned, in
whatever state I am, to becontent, I know how to be abased
(04:07):
and I know how to aboundEverywhere and in all things.
I have learned to be both fulland has learned through Christ
(04:29):
how to continue existing andexisting in a good place within
himself.
Then he says I can do allthings through Christ who
strengthens me.
Do all things through Christ,who strengthens me.
So that passage is not the carteblanche rationale for why you
(04:50):
can overload.
Okay, I just want to make thatpoint clear.
There's times that we take thatand use that a little out of
context so we can be just asguilty as everyone else of doing
that kind of thing.
Now here's the thing If you arethe kind of ministry leader who
is visionary, this means thatyou can see what does not exist
(05:15):
and you can see how it can beand come into existence.
And if you're the right kind ofvisionary, you can chart your
path, you can figure out all thesteps that it's going to take
you to bring whatever it is intoexistence.
But at some point in your life,at some point in your life and
(05:37):
I would say this is mostly inthe maybe the fourth quarter,
maybe the end of the thirdquarter of your life and,
granted, we don't know exactlyhow long our lifespan is, you
know, because we are finite.
Okay, we do know that at somepoint, for the visionary person
(05:59):
of which I am, you can see that,oh my, at some point a full
stop is indeed coming, and youknow that's okay.
Maybe I'm waxing and waning alittle morbid here, but I'm
probably going to get worse withthe morbid part before it gets
better.
But at some point we do havethat sense and maybe it's when
(06:24):
you encounter the death of aloved one.
As ministry leaders, you know wedo a lot of funerals and stuff
and I've just done my husband'syounger brother's funeral, which
was really kind of unexpectedreally.
But we do a lot of funerals andthere's times that we step into
(06:45):
that role of facilitating andhelping a family through that
process.
Right, we do that.
But there's a level of personaldisconnect that can easily take
place when it's not family orsomebody close to us.
I think the times that it issomebody close to us that we
(07:07):
love and we care about that, itcan really be rattling.
For example, my husband has noliving parents Neither one of us
do at this stage of the gamebut when he lost his younger
brother, that resonated andreverberated through his life,
you know and mine in all honesty, in a much different way where
(07:30):
you get the sense of, hey, thereis a full stop coming.
You know we are finite, we arefinite beings.
So that's one way it comesclearly, clearly into view.
So you know, this caused a weirdconversation at the dinner
(07:50):
table between my husband and IVery weird, I don't even know
who brought it up.
Probably me, probably me.
I was saying it was All right,it was me.
Now the reality is coming toplay here.
Okay, we're sitting at thedinner table and I said to him
you know, one of the things I'mgoing to ask Jesus about in
(08:13):
heaven is how we die.
You know, is that basically,the way this system is set up,
from my limited perspective, isthat we all pop off the planet
at totally random times and intotally random ways.
So then we got into a discussionabout what our suggestion,
(08:39):
because my husband said that tome well, what would you suggest?
Which was a bad thing to ask me, really, because then my mind
just just goes.
I said, well, you know, wecould say Jesus, maybe it would
be a good idea if we all, justyou know, died in our sleep.
I said, of course.
Then the unintended consequenceof that is that your spouse say
(09:03):
would know, at some point I'mgoing to wake up and there could
be a dead person in my bed, andnot that that hasn't happened
in real life to some people,because I know people that it
has happened to and that's gotto be a whole other trauma.
But so I said, well, okay,maybe that's not the best
suggestion, and you know thewhole sleep thing.
(09:25):
I thought it was a very peacefulkind of suggestion, though my
other suggestion was maybe youshould just die doing something
that you love.
And maybe that resonates fromwhen I was on a cruise recently,
and it was a cruise to Hawaii,and somebody fell in the dining
(09:46):
area and they took him to ahospital and we found out like
the morning that we were goingto get off the boat.
I was down at the toaster andtwo guys were talking and one
guy was saying it was a terriblecruise and the other guy said,
oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
And he said, yeah, my bestfriend died this morning, and I
(10:08):
guess it was the guy that hadfallen earlier in the week.
And I said to my husband eventhen.
I said you know, I mean, ifyou're gonna go, this is the way
to go.
Is, you know, died on a cruiseto Hawaii?
You know that's a pretty goodread in your own bit, don't you
think?
And uh, so you could, you coulddie doing something you love.
(10:30):
I said to my husband, however, Ithought about this.
I mean not extensively, butI've thought about what if you
die doing something you love and, for example, I love to bike
ride and I live in michigan, sothat means what I.
I can ride outside three monthsI'm exaggerating there but 47
(10:51):
degrees is the lowest that Iwill do an outside ride.
So I have an indoor bike andhere's the thing I said to him
at the dinner table that day.
I said you know I could be onmy indoor bike and you know
that's something I enjoy andsomething I love, and you know
you could work this whole system.
(11:12):
Then, if the goal was you'regoing to die doing something you
love, you would avoid doingsomething you love to try to
stack the odds in your favor orat least I would try to
strategize that way.
But I, if I'm on my indoor bikeand I love doing that, here's
the thing I said to my husbandyou could come home one day from
(11:32):
work and I don't know what kindof state you'd find me in,
because the indoor bike is theonly place where I clip in and
if you're a bike rider likeserious, you know what that
means.
I don't do this on my outsidebike because I'm just not that
graceful, but on my indoor bikeit makes me be able to go faster
(11:54):
because your shoes are made toclip into the pedals, like
you're permanently affixed untilyou snap your wrist and not
your wrist, your ankle.
Snap your ankle so that you canunclip.
I mean, you have to dosomething.
So I said, if I like, had somemassive something, go bad.
And I'm on my bike.
I said, oh my gosh, would youcome home and I?
(12:17):
I'd still be clipped in.
You know, that's the big thing.
Anyway, I think I decided, oh,never mind, I'm glad I'm not God
.
But at the the same time itreally challenged me to think
about once again my finitude,and this really is more about
self-care than what you'rethinking at the moment.
(12:39):
I'm telling you, because ifyour finitude is non-existent in
other words, you don't have anygrasp at all that you are
finite you're going to pilotyour life in ways that are
really not helpful and actuallyis going to suck the joy right
(13:00):
out of your life.
So I'm saying, if your finitude, if your attitude towards being
finite is not anywhere near tobe found, non-existent, whatever
, you can run on fumes and noteven be aware of it.
In fact, if you go back throughthe Krabby Pastor podcast and
(13:23):
listen to any of the back fromburnout interviews that I've
done.
The interesting thing is when Iask somebody hey, how did you
know you were toddling towardsburnout, they typically do not
have any sense that they areheaded in that direction and
most frequently it is otherpeople that say something to
(13:45):
them.
So you, if you have no sensethat you're finite, you can more
easily run on fumes than youought to, which does and will
lead to burnout.
And you might be the type ofperson then, if you have no
sense of being finite, thatyou're going to burn the candle
on both ends and you're going tobe running fast, hard and long
(14:09):
with a very heavy load, and youcannot do that Forever.
You cannot do that because youcannot do it forever, because
you are finite.
You can't run as if you have nolimits.
Our physical bodies are frail,you know.
I think scripture says we'relike the blades of grass One
(14:30):
minute we're here and one minutewe're not.
You need to have a solidfinitude, a solid attitude about
the fact that you are finite.
Now here I'm going to saysomething that I don't know if
some would perceive this asheretical.
Who knows, probably, but no, Idon't really think it is
(14:53):
actually.
But I think that pray more andread your Bible more has limits
for people who are finite, right, you can't pray more and have
that impact like yourcholesterol.
You can't just sit and readyour Bible more instead of
(15:14):
eating healthy.
You can't.
You see where I'm going withthis?
There is we are frail, we'resturdy our bodies, our minds and
the people that we are prettysturdy.
I mean, we literally do notknow how many germs and bugs and
bacteria and viruses hit us andour immune system just goes
(15:35):
into what it was created by Godto do and protects us.
I mean, so we're sturdy, butwe're also pretty frail.
I remember the doctor saying tome would you like to see the
scans of your mother's chest youknow, like her lungs, because
she died of lung cancer, andwould you like to see those?
(15:56):
Because she apparently hadcancer everywhere, everywhere,
and was unaware.
And I had been asking thedoctor enough nosy questions
that he said, yeah, yeah, youwant to come see these scans.
And I did and I'll never forgetstaring at that originating
spot in her lung which then,when you're breathing in and out
, you literally send cellseverywhere, cancer cells through
(16:20):
your body and then they justlodge and grow wherever and
that's how that goes.
But I'll never forget, when Ipointed to the originating spot
and I said, well, because youknow, the scans kind of scaled
down a bit, it's not actual size.
I said what size was that?
And he said, oh, about the sizeof a nickel.
So you know something the sizeof a nickel can take you down,
(16:43):
and I never forgot that.
It really reminded me how frailwe are.
So we're both sturdy and frailat the same time.
We are masterfully andwonderfully made.
So we do need to, though,acknowledge our finitude,
acknowledge that there's limitsto what our physical body, what
(17:07):
our emotional state, what ourmental capacity is.
We have to really, reallyunderstand that and live as if
we are finite and we do havelimits.
So we need to pace ourselves.
If you do live with a decentsense of finitude, you know that
(17:30):
you need to pace yourself andstop walking through the parking
lot and two other places as ifyou are an Olympian speed walker
, because that's crazy and youknow what happens.
Also and I say this becauseI've been guilty of this,
because I'm pretty type A, butyou know, you blow right past
(17:50):
some stuff that you wouldn't.
We miss stuff because we'reblowing right past it and maybe
there's some really great thingsthat we are blowing right past
because we are chargingeverywhere we go instead of
pacing ourselves.
Well, if you have a decentsense that you're finite, you
(18:14):
really know God is in controland you really rest in that well
and not feel as if you are incharge of everything everywhere
all at once, because you knowthat really is God's spot in
your life.
I think if you know you have adecent sense of being finite,
(18:37):
that you're going to live as ifyour physical body needs care
and it looks like this.
Let's talk about your car for aminute.
What happens if you don'tchange the oil regularly?
What happens if, like if youlive in Michigan and they salt
(19:01):
the roads and you know you neverwash the car ever?
You know at some point rust isgoing to become a problem.
What happens in your car if itoverheats?
I want to say blow a gasket,but I don't know if that's a
good mechanical analogy or not,because I'm not that savvy about
(19:22):
the car mechanical stuff.
So if you neglect your car, youare going to get less out of
your car in the long run than ifyou did everything that you can
to keep your car running andhumming well and address
(19:43):
problems actively as they arriveand take care of the car so
that you can say, get the mostmiles out of it that you
possibly can.
And I realize you know thereare some brands and types of
cars that run better than others.
You know, look at your reviewfiles and your review websites
(20:08):
for those kinds of things.
But the analogy still runs thesame that you have to treat
yourself as if you want to getthe most out of it that you
possibly can.
So we know that our car isfinite and just like our car is
(20:33):
finite, so are we.
And so my good word to youtoday is to really consider your
finitude, your attitude towardsbeing finite, to make sure that
you step into the self-carethat you need to, so that you
(20:54):
can step into everything thatGod has for you to do.
And if you're feeling better,you're going to enjoy and have
an experience, the joy that isyours to have as you serve the
risen Lord Jesus.
And that's it for today.
And that's it for today.
(21:18):
So how do the pieces of yourlife fit together?
Do they fit together well andthings are humming along just
fine, or are there some piecesthat are tight or absent or just
not fitting the bill.
This is your invitation to joinme in my glass workshop for a
(21:40):
video series where I am going todo a stained glass project
while I talk to you aboutsustainability and building
sustainability into your heartand into your life.
So I am going to be doing myart, which is a form of
self-care, and I'm going toinvite you into that space with
(22:02):
me and I'm going to chat.
I'm going to chat aboutself-care and I'm going to show
you how I create, and there's anifty, nifty analogy.
Stained glass seems to be avery good metaphor for what I
want to talk about, so I'd lovefor you to join me to do that.
(22:22):
To opt in, I'll need you toemail me at crabbypastor at
gmailcom.
That's crabbypastor at gmailcom.
So you won't want to miss thisemailcom.
So you won't want to miss this.
You definitely won't want tomiss this.
So, so make a plan to join mein the glass workshop.
(22:45):
Are you wondering whether yourfatigue, your lack of motivation
, your lack of interest, isburnout maybe?
I just wanted to let you knowthat I have a resource on the
website, margiebryce dot com.
(23:05):
That's B-R-Y-C-E, margiebrycedot com, and it is a burnout
questionnaire free for you todownload and kind of self-assess
and get a sense of where you'reat.
There are questions that notonly ask about what you're going
through but maybe how oftenyou're experiencing it, and
(23:28):
that's kind of a key to whereyou might be, because you have
to know where you are in orderto chart a course forward.
And most pastors who experiencepastors and ministry leaders
who experience burnout rarelyknow that that's where they're
(23:50):
at until they're well into it.
And if you're unsure about thatlittle statistic, so far,
everybody that I've interviewedon this podcast who has
experienced burnout, when Iasked that kind of question,
they're like, yeah, I didn'tknow, that's where I was at.
So again, go to margiebricecomit's on the homepage of the
(24:13):
website and you can get yourburnout questionnaire and kind
of see where you're at.
Hey friends, the Crabby Pastorpodcast is sponsored by Bryce
Art Glass and you can find thaton Facebook I make stained glass
(24:34):
as part of my self-care andalso by Bryce Coaching, where I
coach ministry leaders andbusiness leaders, and so the
funds that I generate fromcoaching and from making stained
glass is what is supportingthis podcast and I will have
(24:55):
opportunities for you to be apart of sponsoring me and, as
always, you can do the buy me acup of coffee thing in the in
the show notes, but I will havesome other ways that you can be
a part of getting the word outabout the importance of healthy
self-care for ministry leaders.
(25:28):
Hey, thanks for listening.
It is my deep desire andpassion to champion issues of
sustainability in ministry andfor your life, so I'm here to
help.
I stepped back from pastoralministry and I feel called to
help ministry leaders create andcultivate sustainability in
their lives so that they can gothe distance with God and
(25:49):
whatever plans that God has foryou.
I would love to help, I wouldconsider it an honor and, in all
things, make sure you connectto these sustainability
practices you know, so that youdon't become the crabby pastor.
Thank you.
Hey there, it's Margie Bryce, your host of the Crabby
Pastor podcast, where we talkabout all things sustainability,
whether it's sustainability inministry, in your personal life
and we acknowledge that thechurch is in a transitional time
, so we hit topics there toothat are going to stretch your
(00:22):
mind and the way you lead,especially how you lead yourself
, so that you don't become thecrabby pastor.
Hey there, friends, margieBryce here with the Crabby
Pastor Podcast, and I havesomething.
Well, gee, I don't know, maybemaybe you won't find that.
(00:46):
Well, this is not the mostupbeat topic today, but I think
it's an essential topic, sothat's why I wanted to bring it
to you.
Just something to you know,keep you up at night, or you can
think about in the middle ofthe night, or maybe just
something that you can let rollaround in your head, in your
(01:08):
mind, in your heart.
So I want to talk about beingfinite.
And, yeah, okay, I think wesort of know that we are finite.
I think we know we are peoplewho serve the interests of an
infinite God, and that issomething we're all excited
about.
But I want to talk about todayis our finitude.
(01:31):
That would be our attitudetowards the fact that we are
finite, because it turns outthat we get in trouble in this
area and we just blow right pastthe fact that we are finite,
and that gets us in trouble.
It gets us.
(01:52):
If you do this long enough,hard enough, fast enough, mostly
long enough too, you can headto burnout.
You will head to burnout.
But I think about passages thatwe have used that somehow seem
to propel us into ignoring thefact that we are finite, and
(02:15):
this is something that we dowith the scripture, and so I
want to share with youPhilippians 4.13.
And that is a verse that says Ican do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me.
Now hear me on this.
I am not negating what thissays in any way, shape or form,
(02:36):
but this is sometimes where wetake our little exacto knife and
we cut that out and frame itand put it on the wall, and
that's not a terrible thing toput on your wall.
It reminds us that God is withus, god strengthens us, but it's
I can do, we'll take all things, all things, and it feels like
(02:58):
there's no limits to that, andin some sense there isn't, but
in some sense there mostdefinitely is.
So we can't forget ever thatthere is a context of this and
that is Paul writing to thechurch that he established, and
with some help for sure, atPhilippi, and he's in jail and
(03:22):
he's writing this.
So you know, if I back it up,say to verse 10, Paul is saying
but I rejoice in the Lordgreatly that now, at last, your
care for me has flourished again, though you surely did care,
but you lacked opportunity.
So they were attempting, theChurch of Philippi was
attempting to send things toPaul to provide for some care,
(03:44):
and this is what he's speakingabout.
He says not that I speak inregard to need, for I have
learned, in whatever state I am,to be content.
That's a pretty bigphilosophical statement for
somebody in prison.
So not that I speak in regardto need, for I have learned, in
whatever state I am, to becontent, I know how to be abased
(04:07):
and I know how to aboundEverywhere and in all things.
I have learned to be both fulland has learned through Christ
(04:29):
how to continue existing andexisting in a good place within
himself.
Then he says I can do allthings through Christ who
strengthens me.
Do all things through Christ,who strengthens me.
So that passage is not the carteblanche rationale for why you
(04:50):
can overload.
Okay, I just want to make thatpoint clear.
There's times that we take thatand use that a little out of
context so we can be just asguilty as everyone else of doing
that kind of thing.
Now here's the thing If you arethe kind of ministry leader who
is visionary, this means thatyou can see what does not exist
(05:15):
and you can see how it can beand come into existence.
And if you're the right kind ofvisionary, you can chart your
path, you can figure out all thesteps that it's going to take
you to bring whatever it is intoexistence.
But at some point in your life,at some point in your life and
(05:37):
I would say this is mostly inthe maybe the fourth quarter,
maybe the end of the thirdquarter of your life and,
granted, we don't know exactlyhow long our lifespan is, you
know, because we are finite.
Okay, we do know that at somepoint, for the visionary person
(05:59):
of which I am, you can see that,oh my, at some point a full
stop is indeed coming, and youknow that's okay.
Maybe I'm waxing and waning alittle morbid here, but I'm
probably going to get worse withthe morbid part before it gets
better.
But at some point we do havethat sense and maybe it's when
(06:24):
you encounter the death of aloved one.
As ministry leaders, you know wedo a lot of funerals and stuff
and I've just done my husband'syounger brother's funeral, which
was really kind of unexpectedreally.
But we do a lot of funerals andthere's times that we step into
(06:45):
that role of facilitating andhelping a family through that
process.
Right, we do that.
But there's a level of personaldisconnect that can easily take
place when it's not family orsomebody close to us.
I think the times that it issomebody close to us that we
(07:07):
love and we care about that, itcan really be rattling.
For example, my husband has noliving parents Neither one of us
do at this stage of the gamebut when he lost his younger
brother, that resonated andreverberated through his life,
you know and mine in all honesty, in a much different way where
(07:30):
you get the sense of, hey, thereis a full stop coming.
You know we are finite, we arefinite beings.
So that's one way it comesclearly, clearly into view.
So you know, this caused a weirdconversation at the dinner
(07:50):
table between my husband and IVery weird, I don't even know
who brought it up.
Probably me, probably me.
I was saying it was All right,it was me.
Now the reality is coming toplay here.
Okay, we're sitting at thedinner table and I said to him
you know, one of the things I'mgoing to ask Jesus about in
(08:13):
heaven is how we die.
You know, is that basically,the way this system is set up,
from my limited perspective, isthat we all pop off the planet
at totally random times and intotally random ways.
So then we got into a discussionabout what our suggestion,
(08:39):
because my husband said that tome well, what would you suggest?
Which was a bad thing to ask me, really, because then my mind
just just goes.
I said, well, you know, wecould say Jesus, maybe it would
be a good idea if we all, justyou know, died in our sleep.
I said, of course.
Then the unintended consequenceof that is that your spouse say
(09:03):
would know, at some point I'mgoing to wake up and there could
be a dead person in my bed, andnot that that hasn't happened
in real life to some people,because I know people that it
has happened to and that's gotto be a whole other trauma.
But so I said, well, okay,maybe that's not the best
suggestion, and you know thewhole sleep thing.
(09:25):
I thought it was a very peacefulkind of suggestion, though my
other suggestion was maybe youshould just die doing something
that you love.
And maybe that resonates fromwhen I was on a cruise recently,
and it was a cruise to Hawaii,and somebody fell in the dining
(09:46):
area and they took him to ahospital and we found out like
the morning that we were goingto get off the boat.
I was down at the toaster andtwo guys were talking and one
guy was saying it was a terriblecruise and the other guy said,
oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
And he said, yeah, my bestfriend died this morning, and I
(10:08):
guess it was the guy that hadfallen earlier in the week.
And I said to my husband eventhen.
I said you know, I mean, ifyou're gonna go, this is the way
to go.
Is, you know, died on a cruiseto Hawaii?
You know that's a pretty goodread in your own bit, don't you
think?
And uh, so you could, you coulddie doing something you love.
(10:30):
I said to my husband, however, Ithought about this.
I mean not extensively, butI've thought about what if you
die doing something you love and, for example, I love to bike
ride and I live in michigan, sothat means what I.
I can ride outside three monthsI'm exaggerating there but 47
(10:51):
degrees is the lowest that Iwill do an outside ride.
So I have an indoor bike andhere's the thing I said to him
at the dinner table that day.
I said you know I could be onmy indoor bike and you know
that's something I enjoy andsomething I love, and you know
you could work this whole system.
(11:12):
Then, if the goal was you'regoing to die doing something you
love, you would avoid doingsomething you love to try to
stack the odds in your favor orat least I would try to
strategize that way.
But I, if I'm on my indoor bikeand I love doing that, here's
the thing I said to my husbandyou could come home one day from
(11:32):
work and I don't know what kindof state you'd find me in,
because the indoor bike is theonly place where I clip in and
if you're a bike rider likeserious, you know what that
means.
I don't do this on my outsidebike because I'm just not that
graceful, but on my indoor bikeit makes me be able to go faster
(11:54):
because your shoes are made toclip into the pedals, like
you're permanently affixed untilyou snap your wrist and not
your wrist, your ankle.
Snap your ankle so that you canunclip.
I mean, you have to dosomething.
So I said, if I like, had somemassive something, go bad.
And I'm on my bike.
I said, oh my gosh, would youcome home and I?
(12:17):
I'd still be clipped in.
You know, that's the big thing.
Anyway, I think I decided, oh,never mind, I'm glad I'm not God
.
But at the the same time itreally challenged me to think
about once again my finitude,and this really is more about
self-care than what you'rethinking at the moment.
(12:39):
I'm telling you, because ifyour finitude is non-existent in
other words, you don't have anygrasp at all that you are
finite you're going to pilotyour life in ways that are
really not helpful and actuallyis going to suck the joy right
(13:00):
out of your life.
So I'm saying, if your finitude, if your attitude towards being
finite is not anywhere near tobe found, non-existent, whatever
, you can run on fumes and noteven be aware of it.
In fact, if you go back throughthe Krabby Pastor podcast and
(13:23):
listen to any of the back fromburnout interviews that I've
done.
The interesting thing is when Iask somebody hey, how did you
know you were toddling towardsburnout, they typically do not
have any sense that they areheaded in that direction and
most frequently it is otherpeople that say something to
(13:45):
them.
So you, if you have no sensethat you're finite, you can more
easily run on fumes than youought to, which does and will
lead to burnout.
And you might be the type ofperson then, if you have no
sense of being finite, thatyou're going to burn the candle
on both ends and you're going tobe running fast, hard and long
(14:09):
with a very heavy load, and youcannot do that Forever.
You cannot do that because youcannot do it forever, because
you are finite.
You can't run as if you have nolimits.
Our physical bodies are frail,you know.
I think scripture says we'relike the blades of grass One
(14:30):
minute we're here and one minutewe're not.
You need to have a solidfinitude, a solid attitude about
the fact that you are finite.
Now here I'm going to saysomething that I don't know if
some would perceive this asheretical.
Who knows, probably, but no, Idon't really think it is
(14:53):
actually.
But I think that pray more andread your Bible more has limits
for people who are finite, right, you can't pray more and have
that impact like yourcholesterol.
You can't just sit and readyour Bible more instead of
(15:14):
eating healthy.
You can't.
You see where I'm going withthis?
There is we are frail, we'resturdy our bodies, our minds and
the people that we are prettysturdy.
I mean, we literally do notknow how many germs and bugs and
bacteria and viruses hit us andour immune system just goes
(15:35):
into what it was created by Godto do and protects us.
I mean, so we're sturdy, butwe're also pretty frail.
I remember the doctor saying tome would you like to see the
scans of your mother's chest youknow, like her lungs, because
she died of lung cancer, andwould you like to see those?
(15:56):
Because she apparently hadcancer everywhere, everywhere,
and was unaware.
And I had been asking thedoctor enough nosy questions
that he said, yeah, yeah, youwant to come see these scans.
And I did and I'll never forgetstaring at that originating
spot in her lung which then,when you're breathing in and out
, you literally send cellseverywhere, cancer cells through
(16:20):
your body and then they justlodge and grow wherever and
that's how that goes.
But I'll never forget, when Ipointed to the originating spot
and I said, well, because youknow, the scans kind of scaled
down a bit, it's not actual size.
I said what size was that?
And he said, oh, about the sizeof a nickel.
So you know something the sizeof a nickel can take you down,
(16:43):
and I never forgot that.
It really reminded me how frailwe are.
So we're both sturdy and frailat the same time.
We are masterfully andwonderfully made.
So we do need to, though,acknowledge our finitude,
acknowledge that there's limitsto what our physical body, what
(17:07):
our emotional state, what ourmental capacity is.
We have to really, reallyunderstand that and live as if
we are finite and we do havelimits.
So we need to pace ourselves.
If you do live with a decentsense of finitude, you know that
(17:30):
you need to pace yourself andstop walking through the parking
lot and two other places as ifyou are an Olympian speed walker
, because that's crazy and youknow what happens.
Also and I say this becauseI've been guilty of this,
because I'm pretty type A, butyou know, you blow right past
(17:50):
some stuff that you wouldn't.
We miss stuff because we'reblowing right past it and maybe
there's some really great thingsthat we are blowing right past
because we are chargingeverywhere we go instead of
pacing ourselves.
Well, if you have a decentsense that you're finite, you
(18:14):
really know God is in controland you really rest in that well
and not feel as if you are incharge of everything everywhere
all at once, because you knowthat really is God's spot in
your life.
I think if you know you have adecent sense of being finite,
(18:37):
that you're going to live as ifyour physical body needs care
and it looks like this.
Let's talk about your car for aminute.
What happens if you don'tchange the oil regularly?
What happens if, like if youlive in Michigan and they salt
(19:01):
the roads and you know you neverwash the car ever?
You know at some point rust isgoing to become a problem.
What happens in your car if itoverheats?
I want to say blow a gasket,but I don't know if that's a
good mechanical analogy or not,because I'm not that savvy about
(19:22):
the car mechanical stuff.
So if you neglect your car, youare going to get less out of
your car in the long run than ifyou did everything that you can
to keep your car running andhumming well and address
(19:43):
problems actively as they arriveand take care of the car so
that you can say, get the mostmiles out of it that you
possibly can.
And I realize you know thereare some brands and types of
cars that run better than others.
You know, look at your reviewfiles and your review websites
(20:08):
for those kinds of things.
But the analogy still runs thesame that you have to treat
yourself as if you want to getthe most out of it that you
possibly can.
So we know that our car isfinite and just like our car is
(20:33):
finite, so are we.
And so my good word to youtoday is to really consider your
finitude, your attitude towardsbeing finite, to make sure that
you step into the self-carethat you need to, so that you
(20:54):
can step into everything thatGod has for you to do.
And if you're feeling better,you're going to enjoy and have
an experience, the joy that isyours to have as you serve the
risen Lord Jesus.
And that's it for today.
And that's it for today.
(21:18):
So how do the pieces of yourlife fit together?
Do they fit together well andthings are humming along just
fine, or are there some piecesthat are tight or absent or just
not fitting the bill.
This is your invitation to joinme in my glass workshop for a
(21:40):
video series where I am going todo a stained glass project
while I talk to you aboutsustainability and building
sustainability into your heartand into your life.
So I am going to be doing myart, which is a form of
self-care, and I'm going toinvite you into that space with
(22:02):
me and I'm going to chat.
I'm going to chat aboutself-care and I'm going to show
you how I create, and there's anifty, nifty analogy.
Stained glass seems to be avery good metaphor for what I
want to talk about, so I'd lovefor you to join me to do that.
(22:22):
To opt in, I'll need you toemail me at crabbypastor at
gmailcom.
That's crabbypastor at gmailcom.
So you won't want to miss thisemailcom.
So you won't want to miss this.
You definitely won't want tomiss this.
So, so make a plan to join mein the glass workshop.
(22:45):
Are you wondering whether yourfatigue, your lack of motivation
, your lack of interest, isburnout maybe?
I just wanted to let you knowthat I have a resource on the
website, margiebryce dot com.
(23:05):
That's B-R-Y-C-E, margiebrycedot com, and it is a burnout
questionnaire free for you todownload and kind of self-assess
and get a sense of where you'reat.
There are questions that notonly ask about what you're going
through but maybe how oftenyou're experiencing it, and
(23:28):
that's kind of a key to whereyou might be, because you have
to know where you are in orderto chart a course forward.
And most pastors who experiencepastors and ministry leaders
who experience burnout rarelyknow that that's where they're
(23:50):
at until they're well into it.
And if you're unsure about thatlittle statistic, so far,
everybody that I've interviewedon this podcast who has
experienced burnout, when Iasked that kind of question,
they're like, yeah, I didn'tknow, that's where I was at.
So again, go to margiebricecomit's on the homepage of the
(24:13):
website and you can get yourburnout questionnaire and kind
of see where you're at.
Hey friends, the Crabby Pastorpodcast is sponsored by Bryce
Art Glass and you can find thaton Facebook I make stained glass
(24:34):
as part of my self-care andalso by Bryce Coaching, where I
coach ministry leaders andbusiness leaders, and so the
funds that I generate fromcoaching and from making stained
glass is what is supportingthis podcast and I will have
(24:55):
opportunities for you to be apart of sponsoring me and, as
always, you can do the buy me acup of coffee thing in the in
the show notes, but I will havesome other ways that you can be
a part of getting the word outabout the importance of healthy
self-care for ministry leaders.
(25:28):
Hey, thanks for listening.
It is my deep desire andpassion to champion issues of
sustainability in ministry andfor your life, so I'm here to
help.
I stepped back from pastoralministry and I feel called to
help ministry leaders create andcultivate sustainability in
their lives so that they can gothe distance with God and
(25:49):
whatever plans that God has foryou.
I would love to help, I wouldconsider it an honor and, in all
things, make sure you connectto these sustainability
practices you know, so that youdon't become the crabby pastor.
Thank you.
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